(Short) Muffins

by UpsideDwnFace

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark
Length: 1474

A Grimdark based upon the famous horror fic "Cupcakes"

'Twas a bright sunny day in Ponyville, just as most other days. Derpy pranced and flew throughout the fields of the Apple Family's farm as the sun kissed her cheek. On her flank was a near empty messengers bag that was was usually full of letters and messages that she willingly delivered throughout any hardships nature threw at her. She looked down on her watch only to remember that she must finish the job before noon, and noticed she still had letters to deliver. "Oops, guess I better get finished delivering this mail." She thought. She opened her bag and analyzed the address of her last letter. She flew up vertically as fast as she could, stared down through the fields, and onto the village of Ponyville, then flew as fast as she could. Her speed was immense, enough to impress Rainbow Dash herself. When she saw her target she slowed and stoped as if roller skating, and gently landed on the cobblestone porch of Sugarcube Corner. With no mailbox in sight, she knocked on the door and was greeted by a pink, energenic pony. She greeted derpy and introduced herself "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! It's fantabulous to meet you! I see you brought me some mail!? Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Derpy replied with "Here you go" She handed her the letter "My name is derpy, the local mailpony." "Oh I know who you are." Derpy now wondering how she could know. "I guess it doesn't matter" She thought, and pushed the small concern behind" Pinkie opened her letter in a fashion that made certain that Derpy could see. The letter read 96 "That's a strange le- Oh! Excuse me, I didn't mean to read your letter" "I'ts fine!" Pinkie said in a forgiving yet exciting tone. "Would you like a muffin?" "That sounds delicious!" The grey pony graciously accepted.She took a bite and what seemed as immidietly felt dizzy "What the… I'm not… mmuff…" She had blacked out. Some time later she woke up, all of her hooves in shackles, wings tied to her back, and a horrible smell. "Oh goodie! Your back!" The now, strange Pink pony said. "Wha- Whats going on! Why am I tied up! Where am I!?" Derpy exclaimed, with great fear in her voice. " Well, I ran out of my special ingredient when I made cupcakes! I've only made Muffins once but it was with a not so great baker.So now I get to try it again!" "S-Special ingrident!? What are you talking about?!" "Well, isn't it obvious?" Pinkie snickered. She flipped a switch. lightnening the room. There was a taxidermined Rainbow Dash, a griffon skull, organ balloons, and horrors beyond imaginations extent. "You!" Pinkie said with a laugh "No.. You're going to kill me? This cant be real. This is a joke right?" With more fear now in the grey pony's eyes. "Mmhmm! Man, my last pony was sure not a fighter. But boy was she delicious… Did you see that little table I made? I think the rainbow really brightens the place up from all this red! Don't you think?" A smile from ear to ear across her face and a look in her eye told Derpy this was real. "Please! I'll do anything! I won't tell anyone! Just don't kill me!" "Sorry Ms.Mailpony Derpy burpy shmurpy. But I can't. What's done is done, just the rules. Look at it like this! You lived a good, long-ish life and now other people will enjoy you more! Just in a different way…" "You.. You sick.. FUCKING… BASTARD!!" Derpy kicked her hooves and tried to fly but the shackles kept her strapped down, only making a noise of chains striking each other. She stopped when she heard her wing snap as she cried out in pain and sorrow, not only because of pain, but because of the very thought that this was the end. "Oh boy! I finnaly got a fighter! I hope you last longer than Dashie here" Pinkie picked up the taxidermied Rainbow dash and swung her left and right as a puppet "I really do wish we could have been friends, It's always nice when you can spend your last moments with friends!" "No…No…No no no no no NO!" Derpy screamed, with so much adrenaline and fear that flew threw her body that her eyes almost straightened. "You are such a crazy pony Mailpony Derpy! Anywwwaaaysss, lets get started!" She pulled out a table full of sharpened medical supplies. She started as always, grabbing her scalpel. She grabbed Derpy's left flank and proceeded to cut a perfect incision away at her bubbley cutie mark. "Ha ha ha! Pop pop pop! I feel like I could just pop all of these bubbles!" She looked at Derpy as if waiting for a response. Derpy was curling her lips, fighting the pain and tears. Derpy was tough. She had endured so much in her travels, but holding back this pain was nearly impossible. Pinkie looked back and ripped off the skin instead of the precision slicing. Blood was pouring down the side of the grey hoove. Her flesh, fully visible, burnt worse than any pain Derpy could had ever felt before. And right in front of her eyes, Pinkie had ate the raw, bloody, Cutie marked piece of skin. Derpy, shocked and disgusted, had fainted. Covered in blood she awoke to find pinkie with an adrenaline shot. Derpy managed to look at Pinkie but then looked away and gently lowered her grey, fear filled, head. "Hey! Don't go to sleep now! I thought you were a fighter! Don't go pulling a Dashie on me! Get it!? Because she didn't last long!? Hahaha!" A tear ran down Derpy's face. Pinkie grabbed a hacksaw and ducktape and began sawing at her broken left wing. As blood gushed on Pinkie and Derpy, Pinkies force became stronger. Eager to get her wing off, Pinkie took both of her hooves and snapped the wing. Derpy let out a scream so high pitched it was almost hard to hear. Pinkie began cutting off the remaining feathers and examined the flesh and nodded in approval. She grabbed the duck tape and strapped it to her back in a sloppy fashion, getting blood all over her back and dripping onto the floor. "Look Derpy! I can fly!" She made a buzzboy noise and pranced around the room splattering blood from the taped on wing, pretending she could fly. "Haha! Come on Derpy! Laugh!" She turned to notice that derpy had passed out again. Derpy woke up again once more to discover Pinkie's new wing. The smell of flesh disgusted her as much as the sight of her own wing on someone else's body. "Now that you're back… Again, I'm going to make sure you stay awake." She scanned the room and discovered her huge electric nails. Derpy managed to scrape up the last bits of strength left in her and whimpered "No." The rest of her strength went directly to sobbing. Pinkie, feeling enthusiastic began to sing as she jammed the nails into Derpy's two bottom hooves. "Ready?" Without an answer she flipped the switch and continue singing as Derpy's now red and grey body twitched and burnt as the electricity flowed threw her. She turned off the switch hoping she had not yet died, and to her delight, she was still conscious and breathing. "I hope your'e awake now! Because here comes my favorite part!" She picked up the blood stained scalpel and made a perfect slice across Derpy's stomach down to her lower area. She pulled out her large intestines and shoved her hooves threw the tube as if they we're long sleeves cut from a jacket. "Do you think this will be warm enough for winter? Oooh I just love winter! Ha ha! Winter wrap up winter wrap up!" She began humming as she continued to slice and remove her internal organs. The amount of blood was immense. There was no spot where there was the absence of blood. Blood and organs we're splattered on the floor, the walls, and even the ceiling. Pinkie had once almost slipped on Derpy's liver.Slice after slice she continued to hum and laugh at the Decor possibilities of Derpy's organs. Finally she had reached the heart. "Well Derpy, I've had some fu with with you, but overall, you we're dissapointing. Only 30 minutes and you've passed out twice! Well at least I have a new wing…" She said

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-25 22:13:56 UTC

The story

'Twas a bright sunny day in Ponyville, just as most other days. Derpy pranced and flew throughout the fields of the Apple Family's farm as the sun kissed her cheek. On her flank was a near empty messengers bag that was was usually full of letters and messages that she willingly delivered throughout any hardships nature threw at her. She looked down on her watch only to remember that she must finish the job before noon, and noticed she still had letters to deliver. "Oops, guess I better get finished delivering this mail." She thought. She opened her bag and analyzed the address of her last letter. She flew up vertically as fast as she could, stared down through the fields, and onto the village of Ponyville, then flew as fast as she could. Her speed was immense, enough to impress Rainbow Dash herself. When she saw her target she slowed and stoped as if roller skating, and gently landed on the cobblestone porch of Sugarcube Corner. With no mailbox in sight, she knocked on the door and was greeted by a pink, energenic pony. She greeted derpy and introduced herself "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! It's fantabulous to meet you! I see you brought me some mail!? Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Derpy replied with "Here you go" She handed her the letter "My name is derpy, the local mailpony." "Oh I know who you are." Derpy now wondering how she could know. "I guess it doesn't matter" She thought, and pushed the small concern behind" Pinkie opened her letter in a fashion that made certain that Derpy could see. The letter read 96 "That's a strange le- Oh! Excuse me, I didn't mean to read your letter" "I'ts fine!" Pinkie said in a forgiving yet exciting tone. "Would you like a muffin?" "That sounds delicious!" The grey pony graciously accepted.She took a bite and what seemed as immidietly felt dizzy "What the... I'm not... mmuff..." She had blacked out. Some time later she woke up, all of her hooves in shackles, wings tied to her back, and a horrible smell. "Oh goodie! Your back!" The now, strange Pink pony said. "Wha- Whats going on! Why am I tied up! Where am I!?" Derpy exclaimed, with great fear in her voice. " Well, I ran out of my special ingredient when I made cupcakes! I've only made Muffins once but it was with a not so great baker.So now I get to try it again!" "S-Special ingrident!? What are you talking about?!" "Well, isn't it obvious?" Pinkie snickered. She flipped a switch. lightnening the room. There was a taxidermined Rainbow Dash, a griffon skull, organ balloons, and horrors beyond imaginations extent. "You!" Pinkie said with a laugh "No.. You're going to kill me? This cant be real. This is a joke right?" With more fear now in the grey pony's eyes. "Mmhmm! Man, my last pony was sure not a fighter. But boy was she delicious... Did you see that little table I made? I think the rainbow really brightens the place up from all this red! Don't you think?" A smile from ear to ear across her face and a look in her eye told Derpy this was real. "Please! I'll do anything! I won't tell anyone! Just don't kill me!" "Sorry Ms.Mailpony Derpy burpy shmurpy. But I can't. What's done is done, just the rules. Look at it like this! You lived a good, long-ish life and now other people will enjoy you more! Just in a different way..." "You.. You sick.. FUCKING... BASTARD!!" Derpy kicked her hooves and tried to fly but the shackles kept her strapped down, only making a noise of chains striking each other. She stopped when she heard her wing snap as she cried out in pain and sorrow, not only because of pain, but because of the very thought that this was the end. "Oh boy! I finnaly got a fighter! I hope you last longer than Dashie here" Pinkie picked up the taxidermied Rainbow dash and swung her left and right as a puppet "I really do wish we could have been friends, It's always nice when you can spend your last moments with friends!" "No...No...No no no no no NO!" Derpy screamed, with so much adrenaline and fear that flew threw her body that her eyes almost straightened. "You are such a crazy pony Mailpony Derpy! Anywwwaaaysss, lets get started!" She pulled out a table full of sharpened medical supplies. She started as always, grabbing her scalpel. She grabbed Derpy's left flank and proceeded to cut a perfect incision away at her bubbley cutie mark. "Ha ha ha! Pop pop pop! I feel like I could just pop all of these bubbles!" She looked at Derpy as if waiting for a response. Derpy was curling her lips, fighting the pain and tears. Derpy was tough. She had endured so much in her travels, but holding back this pain was nearly impossible. Pinkie looked back and ripped off the skin instead of the precision slicing. Blood was pouring down the side of the grey hoove. Her flesh, fully visible, burnt worse than any pain Derpy could had ever felt before. And right in front of her eyes, Pinkie had ate the raw, bloody, Cutie marked piece of skin. Derpy, shocked and disgusted, had fainted. Covered in blood she awoke to find pinkie with an adrenaline shot. Derpy managed to look at Pinkie but then looked away and gently lowered her grey, fear filled, head. "Hey! Don't go to sleep now! I thought you were a fighter! Don't go pulling a Dashie on me! Get it!? Because she didn't last long!? Hahaha!" A tear ran down Derpy's face. Pinkie grabbed a hacksaw and ducktape and began sawing at her broken left wing. As blood gushed on Pinkie and Derpy, Pinkies force became stronger. Eager to get her wing off, Pinkie took both of her hooves and snapped the wing. Derpy let out a scream so high pitched it was almost hard to hear. Pinkie began cutting off the remaining feathers and examined the flesh and nodded in approval. She grabbed the duck tape and strapped it to her back in a sloppy fashion, getting blood all over her back and dripping onto the floor. "Look Derpy! I can fly!" She made a buzzboy noise and pranced around the room splattering blood from the taped on wing, pretending she could fly. "Haha! Come on Derpy! Laugh!" She turned to notice that derpy had passed out again. Derpy woke up again once more to discover Pinkie's new wing. The smell of flesh disgusted her as much as the sight of her own wing on someone else's body. "Now that you're back... Again, I'm going to make sure you stay awake." She scanned the room and discovered her huge electric nails. Derpy managed to scrape up the last bits of strength left in her and whimpered "No." The rest of her strength went directly to sobbing. Pinkie, feeling enthusiastic began to sing as she jammed the nails into Derpy's two bottom hooves. "Ready?" Without an answer she flipped the switch and continue singing as Derpy's now red and grey body twitched and burnt as the electricity flowed threw her. She turned off the switch hoping she had not yet died, and to her delight, she was still conscious and breathing. "I hope your'e awake now! Because here comes my favorite part!" She picked up the blood stained scalpel and made a perfect slice across Derpy's stomach down to her lower area. She pulled out her large intestines and shoved her hooves threw the tube as if they we're long sleeves cut from a jacket. "Do you think this will be warm enough for winter? Oooh I just love winter! Ha ha! Winter wrap up winter wrap up!" She began humming as she continued to slice and remove her internal organs. The amount of blood was immense. There was no spot where there was the absence of blood. Blood and organs we're splattered on the floor, the walls, and even the ceiling. Pinkie had once almost slipped on Derpy's liver.Slice after slice she continued to hum and laugh at the Decor possibilities of Derpy's organs. Finally she had reached the heart. "Well Derpy, I've had some fu with with you, but overall, you we're dissapointing. Only 30 minutes and you've passed out twice! Well at least I have a new wing..." She said in an angered yet disappointing voice, almost as if she expected poor Derpy to feel ashamed. "I can't wake to bake you! Hope you like muffins!" And ripped out Derpy's heart. It was done. An hour had passed of gathering, grinding, and smashing organs and skin.Now? Now she had some muffins to make.