A Cushy New Life

by Carrier of Heartbreak

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Other, Prince Blueblood, Sex
Length: 5369

Upon arriving in Equestria, a headstrong human inexplicably finds himself turned into a throne cushion.

Cotton lived to make others comfortable. His hand-stitched cushions were proclaimed by many to be the best in the world, and were sought after by people of all backgrounds for their superior plushness and durability. Some even say that a piece of him went into every one of his creations.

When he dies as a result of an unfortunate pillow-related accident, his last thoughts probably weren't, "I hope I become a throne cushion for Equestrian royalty in my next life."

Yet here he is.

Warning: Story includes facesitting, raunchy descriptions and some pillow-related violence

Published 2016-05-29 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-29 01:20:01 UTC

A Pillow Fit for a Princess

"Cotton, get down! The only thing you're going to prove by doing this is how much of a mess you're going to make!"

I could barely hear her. Pearl tried her best, but it wasn't just distance that was muting her efforts. I should have listened to her, but my pride was blinding me to my own stupidity. Not even the sight of the cold, hard ground far below me could deter my death wish.

I had to do this.

I wouldn't let them badmouth my work.

They wanted to see what would happen, I'd show them what would fucking happen.

As my assistant, Pearl was doing everything in her power to try to stop me from jumping. Her frantic expression and choked voice tugged at my gut, but I held strong. Her tears almost got to me, though. I hadn't expected to see an actual human emotion from the usually-stoic girl, but here she was, almost to the point of sobbing. I didn't mean to make her cry. I didn't mean to make anybody cry.

I just wanted to prove to the naysayers that my cushions were, in fact, so soft that they could save an adult man from falling to his death. Nobody even knew who had originally doubted my cushions; all I knew was that someone had said it, and it had spread around. My customers teased me about it, my very few friends brought it up. Even Pearl mentioned something about it, though she said it more like it was a piece of news. Maybe they thought I was in on the joke. Maybe they thought I would laugh along.

In truth, the rumor hurt me. My plush creations were pretty much all I knew. I wasn't good at much else, but with my cushions, I was seen as a god. I've made cushions for celebrities, billionaires, presidents, princesses, princes, and even a queen or two. But I didn't make things for money alone. Sure, the sheer demand for my work paid the bills, but that wasn't why I did it.

I loved making things that made others comfortable. The sight of a couple or family walking into my store and losing themselves into one of my plush creations...the feeling was indescribable. That was what I wanted my life to be.

That was why I was standing on this building, looking down at the mound of my own pillows far below me.

"COTTON! GET DOWN HERE!" I heard Pearl shout again, her voice starting to push through my prideful determination. She was more fuming than crying, now. She was pissed. I had made her cry in front of the entire crowd that had been looking up at me, waiting to see what would happen. The police stood in a circle at the bottom, adding pillows to the pile. I suspected that they were sending more officers up to get me down, but they wouldn't reach me in time. It had taken me ages to climb up all forty flights of stairs, and I knew the elevator was down. I had plenty of time.

"I...I have to do this..." I muttered to myself. It was meant as a response to Pearl, but I said it so quietly that I knew she couldn't have possibly heard it. The crowd surrounding the pile of my pillows murmured to each other, trying to figure out what I was doing and why I was doing it. Pearl must have seen my lips moving, because she grew even angrier. Shit, that woman didn't even need to hear my side of the argument to beat me into submission.

"WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO PROVE?!" she scream, her voice penetrating my mental wall and forcing me to take a look at my surroundings. I was on a tall building...a very tall building. I was about to jump down into a pile of my softest pillows that would hopefully break my fall and save my life. Why was I doing this?

Someone had started a rumor that my pillows couldn't stop a fall.

Okay, but what was jumping going to prove?

Well, it would stop the rumors that my pillows weren't the softest creations in the world. I would show everyone that with how fluffy my cushions were, they could be used as safety nets for people needing to jump out of things. It could possibly open my pillows to entirely new market. Maybe firefighters would start placing orders with my business.

What happened if my pillows weren't as soft as I thought they were?

I would die. I would splat. In front of giant group of people, I would plummet to my death and possibly splash a few bystanders with my innards. Maybe I would traumatize a few children for life. And by being dead, I would never be able to make pillows again. The world would go without my services forevermore. I wouldn't be able to make any more people comfortable.

So was this all worth it?

...

"Fuck this shit!" I yelled at myself in frustration, the moronic nature of my actions finally breaking through to me. I took a step away from the ledge, the look of happiness spreading across Pearl's face warming my heart a little bit. I knew she was going to beat my ass down for doing all of that to her, but at least I would still be around to-

Boomp

"UGH!" I shouted as two hands came into contact with my back, giving me a forceful shove forwards. I tried to spin around and see who had so rudely pushed me, but all I saw when I managed to look behind me was a blur of grey and white. The wind rushing past my body made my heart stop.

I was falling.

"COTTON!" I barely heard Pearl's voice say, the air whipping past my body blocking out most other sounds. The only things I could hear were Pearl's faint voice, drowned out by the much louder sound of the entire crowd gasping. A bunch of women screamed, probably jumping to cover the eyes of any surrounding children. They didn't need to see what was going to happen.

I flailed around, trying to see the ground rushing to meet me. There were pillows there. They would stop my fall and save me. My pillows were-

-away from my trajectory.

I wasn't going to land on them. Whoever had pushed me had done so at an angle, so that I wouldn't hit the pillow pile at all. Instead of the mound of plushy goodness that I had been aiming for, instead I saw empty asphalt. The crowd had seen where I was falling and promptly moved away, choosing to gape at my flailing form instead of trying to throw some pillows my way.

I didn't blame them. I probably wouldn't have been thinking too quickly in their situation, either.

This was it. I was going to die. As the ground grew closer and closer, I managed to shoot some regrets through my mind. I regretted being so damn prideful about my work. If I had just gotten the joke and lived with it, none of this would have happened. I regretted being so careless about the reactions others would have to me doing what I had done. Pearl was the closest thing I had to family, and I hadn't even considered her opinion until I was already about to jump. I had made her cry. The only thing I had ever wanted to do was make everyone comfortable, and I had taken that away from her in pursuit of that dream.

I regretted not just jumping in the first place, regardless of how selfish that would have been. If I would have jumped originally, I would have landed on the pillows and none of this would haveholySHITHELLOGROUND-!

FLUFF!

As my consciousness turned dark and my vision faded from the world, one thought ran through my mind:

"That isn't the sound a popping body is supposed to make..."

****

Soft.

Everything felt soft.

It was like waking up to the most perfect morning one could imagine, snuggled up in your bed in a perfectly cool room. The humidity was low, the lighting was fine, and I didn't have anything planned for the day. Nothing to worry about, nothing to upset me, just the morning sun and a nice stretch of my-

Huh.

I couldn't move my arms. What about my legs?

Nope, those were dead, too.

'H-hm...no need to panic, I'm sure there's some kind of ex-,' I tried to say, but nothing came out. I could somehow feel a lump rising in my throat, even thought I could even feel my throat. My mind went white, the shock of being completely immobilized running through me. Had I survived the fall? Was I paralyzed? What I going to be a vegetable for the rest of my life, like that asparagus plant story?

Nothing was making sense. I couldn't tell if my memories about the pillow incident were correct, but it didn't make sense that they weren't. Would I really be so stupid to be willing to jump from a building to prove the quality of my cushions? Maybe, but the whole event seemed so far away, like it had taken place in a dream I had just woken up from.

But on the other hand, if none of that had happened, why couldn't I move? What about my eyes? Did those work?

The sudden intrusion of vision sent a further shock through me. I didn't open my eyes so much as just take in the surroundings. The presence of eyelids was absent, like I was now just a camera that had been switched on. The sensation of sight was jarring, but not as jarring as the scenery I could now bear witness to.

I was face up. Above me, high above me, was what looked to be a grand ceiling. Was I in some sort of museum? The entirety of the room was something straight out of an episode of Downton Abbey. Or, at least I thought so. That show had a bunch of fancy shit in it, right? The only difference I could see what the much brighter atmosphere.

Now that I thought about it, everything was bright. Too bright. If I had eyes, I'd bet that the room would have burned to look at. It looked like some basic color palette from a cartoon. What kind of bullshit modern-art exhibit had they sent me to? Wherever I was, I was pretty sure that it wasn't suitable for a guy who had just fallen forty stories and couldn't move.

There was something jutting out from under me...it looked to be surrounding me from most sides. On the one side, directly south of my vision, the thing shot up into the air, towards the ceiling. It was made of what I assumed was pure gold. Covering most of the gold structure was some soft-looking red cushion material. It might have looked soft, but I knew better. That material was unbearably scratchy, highly unfit to be covering the gold structure I was planted on. There was a star-looking thing at the top of the gold structure, but that didn't help me figure out my situation any.

The room was eerily silent. Besides for the muted sounds of birds coming from beyond the stained glass window that rested in my peripheral vision, not a sound could be heard. I didn't like the silence. It gave me time to think about the hopelessness of my situation, and how absolutely fucked I probably was.

Was I going to be like this forever? What had happened to me? How had I survived the fall? What was that 'fluff' sound I heard when I landed, right before the blackness hit? And who in the ever-pegging fuck had pushed me?!

Thankfully, a clicking of a door lock and the strange sound of a hard object upon marble broke me from my panicked mental rambling. Was someone coming? Maybe they could explain what was going on! I wished so badly that I could move my vision down to meet whatever it was that was entering the room.

"No, that will be everything. Thank you, Scribble," I heard an oddly maternal female voice say, the strange clop sounds drawing seemingly closer. Aw, crap. Did I get a female nurse? That was going to suck if I was paralyzed. I hoped that she wasn't going to have to be the one to take care of me...

And what was with that name? Scribble. That's what you call an intern whose writing nobody can read. But the motherly voice said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Nobody could doubt the power of the Scribble.

The odd clopping sound was getting closer. Did the doctor have a limp or two? No use thinking about it, just have to wait until she-

...

What. What the fuck.

Who let a horse into the hospital?

And who the hell dressed it up with gold and shit? Why is the horse's mane flowing with rainbow colors?

Either I just stumbled upon the Gay Pride Parade's mascot, or I'm going insane. Then the horse decided to further blow my fragile little mind by sighing in a very human-like fashion and blinking away some sleep from her eyes. I say 'her' because the horse was very obviously female. She had a very feminine demeanor, and eyelashes for days.

And the ass was fat.

Not even kidding, her butt was gigantic and pleasantly round. Even as I was, an adult human male who was unattracted to horses, I could appreciate the shape she carried around behind her. And...she was looking down at me. I hope she didn't catch me staring at her ass. Even being a horse, she seemed oddly emotive and intelligent. She would probably take offense to my wandering vision.

Huh...she didn't even move away or anything. She just stared down at me, looking almost...bored. Her eyes then turned away, followed by the rest of her body. She spun around so that she was standing over me...

What was she doing? Yes, you have a very nice butt, horsie, but could you please go find some doctors for me? I really want to figure out what was going on and why Pridey the Princess Horse was allowed near my bed. She was starting to lean her ass down towards me...

It was only then that I could actually notice the size comparison between us. She was huge! Her form towered above me, making me feel like a midget in the presence of a giant. Kind of like a fun-size Snickers in comparison to...three normal sized Snickers bars taped together. Fuck it, I don't know, my mind was a bit preoccupied by the giant horse ass coming closer to me.

Please don't sit, please don't sit, please don't- OH MY GOD SHE'S SITTING!

My mind raced, desperately trying to move limbs that were seemingly missing in an attempt at escape. I didn't want to be sat on by her! At her size, she would absolutely crush me! As I struggled to find a way out of my situation, the horse's glowing rainbow tail lifted, giving me a straight shot view of her...parts.

Fuck it, I didn't want to see that! Why couldn't I look away?! My vision refused to close, my mind glazing over at the sight of her private bits hurtling towards what I assumed to be my face. Her shadow completely engulfed me, her ass getting closer and closer. I couldn't feel my mouth, but I prayed to every deity I knew of that my mouth was shut.

Closer. Her ass consumed my entire field of vision. I wanted so badly to look away from the black ring that would end up right where I was, but it was hopeless. It was like someone had pried my eyes open, dead-set on having me bear witness to my own death. Death by anus, what a way to go...

Closer. My vision wandered lower, towards the lips directly below. They were just as big compared to me as everything else about her. I wondered what part of hers would end up on top of my vision. Which part would smother me? At least she seemed really clean...if I was going to die, I would do so without knowing what she had to eat recently.

Before another thought could run through my overheating mind, she finished her descent and sat. My world became nothing but warm blackness as her ass took up every bit of my consciousness. I felt myself deflate like a punctured bag, moving downwards to conform to the shape of her cheeks.

Was this what being crushed to death felt like? It...it didn't hurt, but it did feel really strange. And warm...

Shit, why was I enjoying it?! I couldn't help it...just being there, under her, probably flat...I don't know, it made me feel complete, somehow. Like, my purpose in life was being fulfilled while underneath her.

Could I still smell? That was something I hadn't tested out, but...would testing it out while I was being buried in a giant horse's asshole be the best idea? Probably not...and the curious tingle that made me want to try was seriously irritating. I didn't want to smell it! I didn't want to smell the horse's probably-dirty butt! It was just going to smell like ass! It was just a...it was just...

I want to smell it...

No! Fuck, stop it with those thoughts! Bad Cotton! Stop thinking about...her warm...comforting...plush...

To my dismay, I was quickly losing focus. It was only a matter of time before my curiosity got the better of me and forced me to take the biggest, deepest breath of my life, just because this horse was sitting on my face. What was I, some kind of sick freak?! She was a horse! Hell, I doubt I would do that with a human! The thought of my face buried under Pearl's ass just gave me shivers, but that was probably because I was slightly terrified of her. Who knows what she would do to me if I ever tried that with her.

Especially after this...

The guilt from my previous actions took my mind away from my weakening resolve. But it didn't take away from the fact that my oddly squishy body was being covered in its entirety by a giant, bedazzled white horse.

I could faintly hear some muffled voices coming from the world outside her butt, but I couldn't tell what any of them were saying. The tones they were using and when they were using them let me know that they were at least speaking English. Was everybody outside just okay with having a giant white horse facesit the patients?

The answer was probably yes, so I tried my best to forget about it and stay calm.

The mysterious voices continued for awhile, becoming nothing more than white noise once I got used to them. Every so often, the maternal voice would return, though I still wasn't able to tell what it was saying. It was strangely louder, like the sound was traveling straight from the horse that was on top of me.

It was almost like she was...the one...talking...

Nope. That was a stupid thought. Maybe the fumes were getting to-

The fumes. I wonder what the fumes are like~ NO!

Have to stay focused...have to stay strong...can't let myself give in to these disgusting urges...maybe the doctors had been using something to keep me asleep that also doubled as an aphrodisiac?

I just hoped that she wouldn't be here for awhile...

****

She was there for awhile.

She was there, sitting, for a long while.

I didn't have a way to tell time, but it felt like she had been sitting there all friggin' day. At some point, in my musings, I had starting to feel a bit damp. It was only after a few minutes of trying to locate the source of the moisture that I realized what it had been...

She was sweating into me. The heat trapped between us must have been too much for her, because her ass began coating me with its cooling perspiration. While horrific enough on its own, the weird feeling of her sweat soaking into me was what scared me the most. Why was it going in? It was like my skin wasn't even there! The sweat seeped into my consciousness, further dulling my mind.

The only thing I was remotely glad for was that I was starting to find her ass less and less gross. It disturbed me to think of her as a comfort, but at the same time, it was better than having to live with something I deemed repulsive smothering me and sweating for the majority of the day.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the voices stopped. The sound of retreating clop sounds could be heard, though only barely. My hopes shot up at the idea of something changing. I still needed answers, damn it!

The two giant, white orbs began lifting themselves from my crushed form, leaving behind a sticky, moist feeling. As her weight was removed, I felt a cooling rush of fresh air flow into me. For some reason, it felt like the air was making me expand, somewhat. I ended up a few inches higher than I had been during my not-so-pleasant ass time with Queen Wehehehehe. Why was I inflating?

The horse stood to her full fight, her tail swishing to cover the bits I had come to know. I even named them! I promptly forgot the names once I realized that I had named a horse's ass.

I missed being able to move...

My vision blinked up at the horse, who had turned to look down at me. Oh, fuck you! What, do you get off at looking down at your victims? How many others had fallen to her mighty cheeks of white? She tilted her head at me, a sign to me that she was surprised I was still alive. I was just as surprised.

It helped that I hadn't needed to breath. Yeah, that was a thing that was happening. The list of strange occurrences was adding up, with each new listing only further increasing my anxiety. Pretty soon, I wouldn't be able to keep myself sane with sarcasm.

...Okay, she was just looking down at me, her face contorting into a look of confused curiousity.

"Hmm...no wonder I'm feeling so wonderful. It appears as though somepony took it upon themselves to replace my cushion," the horse spoke...

...the horse spoke...

...the horse spoke...

...the...t-the horse...spoke...

Right in front of me, with the moving lips and the sound coming out...it spoke...

Heh. Heh hah. HA. That's funny. First jumping off of buildings, then giant horse ass in my face, now the horse speaks...oh Horse of Wisdom, what wisdom do you have for me today?

"What a thoughtful gift!" she exclaimed, a happy smile on her face. Smiling horses.

Neat.

Without another word, she leaned down and pushed her muzzle into me. What the hell? Please don't tell me she-

SNIIIFFFF

...

She just smelled me. She just smelled the thing she had been using as an ass warmer for the whole day. What the hell was she expecting me to smell like, besides ass? I still didn't know, perhaps her butt smelled like roses. Maybe...just a little sn-

Nope. Not giving in. I held out that long, I wasn't about to give in.

The horse let out the breath she had taken in through me, her eyes rolling back into her head slightly. Creepy.

"Aaaah~ New pillow smell!" she moaned, adopting a doofy grin. I was going to make a further mental comment about how creepy she was being, by loving the smell of her own butt, but she then reached down with her two front hooves and picked my head up. I almost tried to protest, since the rest of my body was fragile and deadened, but...I didn't feel a body. She just lifted my head closer to her and looked me over thoroughly. My mind went blank again, trying to comprehend how in the hell she was lifting an entire adult man with just her hooves.

And then she flipped me over. There was no body under me to be flipped. I was just a head.

Oh...w-well...heh, I guess I...quit while...I...

Please wake me up...I don't want to be in the nightmare anymore...

In my rapidly deteriorating mind, I thought over the words that the white horse had spoken. Maybe they held something important?

"Hmm...no wonder I'm feeling so wonderful. It appears as though somepony took it upon themselves to replace my cushion," her voice rang through me, echoing in my consciousness like a catchy song. The first thing that I took note of was her use of the word 'somepony.' What the hell was with her pronoun usage? Maybe she was referring to her species. So she was a pony and not a horse? She was too giant to be a pony, though...

The next thing was...more useful. 'Replace my cushion,' she had said. She had said this while looking right at me, with a possessive and thankful smile. But that was...what? A cushion? That couldn't be...huh...?

She then put her hooves on either side of what I thought was my head, and squeezed in. A moment of panic passed as I thought she was trying to crush my skull. But there wasn't a skull to crush. It was with another shot to my sanity that I realized that she was...

...fluffing me...like a pillow...

No. No. No No No No NO NO NO NO!

I was not a pillow. I was not a pillow. I was not-

Pomf~

She had dropped me back onto the structure she had been sitting on. Instead of my skull smacking painfully against the hard metal, I just kind of settled into the spot and floofed. I was...a pillow...I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I didn't know if I could smell. I didn't have to breathe. Her sweat had soaked through me. She had been sitting on me all day not because I couldn't do anything about it, but because that's what I was meant for. I was just a cushion, meant to be sat on. Nothing more, nothing less.

I wanted to scream. My mind tried forcing my limbs to thrash, but the signals weren't going anywhere. My arms and legs were gone, so the electric pulses just rattled around inside my consciousness, making me even dizzier.

Why was this happening to me?! What had I done to deserve this?! All I had done in my life was make people comfy! I never stole, never cheated, never fought, barely every swore out loud...

No, no. I...I could fix this. All I needed to do was find away to communicate to them that I was still alive, somehow. Then they could get me my body back and send me home. I missed P-

Pearl's crying face shot through my mind, sending a painful jolt of guilt through me. I had traumatized her. I had left mental scars on how many kids? That whole prideful stunt I had pulled...I had ruined myself. Everything I had every worked for, gone, just because I couldn't take a fucking joke...

I...I wanted to be dead. Gone. Anything that wasn't an immobile piece of cloth that would spend the rest of its days being sat on by the white horse. As soft, warm and comfortable as her butt was, it was still the most demeaning thing I had ever been through...except for maybe that big asparagus incident at the grocery store.

How would one even kill a pillow? Maybe they could tear it up, but what if my mind was bonded with the fluff inside the pillow? How much would need to be destroyed before I ceased to be? All these questions, plus a few involving the white horse's comfy butt ran though my mind like angry bees.

A bit of movement pulled me from myself and gave me something else to focus on. The horse was walking away, probably to sleep for the night. A bright light filled the room, but it was out of my field of view to be able to see what was causing it. The strangest thing happened after the light started: the light from outside grew dimmer and dimmer until it went completely dark.

Holy shit. Did someone just block out the sun? No, someone probably put a board over the window or something...please, let the answer be normal...I didn't know how many more strange events I could take.

The clopping sounds she made moved farther and farther away, towards where I had heard her enter earlier that day. Good, she was leaving me alone. I could think for awhile without her ass taking up my world and muting my thoughts. I just hoped I could sleep in this form...I doubted pillows were supposed to be conscious in the first place.

"Ooh, I love it so much! It's absolutely the most comfortable thing I've ever had!" I heard her gush from off in the distance. She seemed to be talking to someone else. I blocked out my vision, hoping against the odds that the one she was addressing was a human like I was supposed to be. I just wanted a human to talk to...

"Uhh...you are...welcome?" another voice responded, this one a bit more stoic and stern. They exchanged a few more muffled words before the sound of a door closing filled the room, echoing for a few moments afterwards.

Silence.

Then more clopping sounds, moving closer once again. My non-existent heart stopped as I realized that the new stranger was not another human. Those were mobile horse noises, not footsteps. They kept moving closer until they were right outside my vision. Another few moments of silence passed by.

A blue shape entered my view. I wasn't happy to see another horse looking down at me, but it honestly didn't surprise me. She had a blue coat, and her mane was...well, it was gorgeous. I had always been a fan of the night sky, and her mane seemed to echo that sight perfectly. How did they even get theirs manes to do that magic stuff? Thousands of stars twinkled in the cosmos floating around her face, shrouding her in beauty and mystery.

She didn't share the white horse's warm expression, though. She appeared to be more suspicious than curious of my appearance, if her piercing glare was evidence of anything. Above her eyes-

SHIT, THAT'S A HORN! She had a horn! Full-on unicorn, pointy forehead stick! And...wings on her back...great, a pegacorn-thing.

How had I not noticed those as soon as I saw her? Come to think of it, did the other horse had those things? My vision had focused mostly on her butt, but I would never admit that out loud.

"Most comfortable..." the pegacorn suddenly said, drawing my attention away from her extremities. She then lifted a hoof, which had a sliver slipper of some sort. The other hor-pegacorn had been wearing one, too, but I had been going through too much of a freak-out to notice at the time.

Her hoof then moved down to me, squishing me against the metal structure. Rude. A pang of surprise was visible on her face, her eyes blinking a few times. She then pushed down on me again and again, a wide grin reaching her features. If I had organs to speak of, her actions would have probably been really annoying. But...every time she did it, I felt content.

Being used as a pillow was making me happy. I didn't want it to, but it did anyway.

The new blue pegacorn got extremely excited as she felt me up, before spinning around and-

No.

NO.

NO NO NO NOT AGAIN!

NOT AGA-

Pomf~