Rarity Investigations

by Spuddington

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Dark, Rarity
Length: 3903

Rarity solves mysteries against a backdrop of corruption and unnecessary bureaucracy.

It is ten years after Rarity saved Rainbow Dash's position in the Wonderbolts. Rarity is now a full time detective in Manehattan. She must deal with the rampant crime and corruption prevailing in the city, while still trying to make time for her friends.

Published 2016-05-27 22:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-31 18:28:46 UTC

Chapter 1: A New Case

Rarity slumped against the rough brick wall. Thick, red blood slowly seeped out of a wound in her side, and dripped to the pavement of the grimy street corner she occupied. None of the windows nearby were lit; in the darkness, the hurt mare could just barely make out a sign that read ‘foreclosed’.

After taking a moment to let her breathing slow, she pulled a handkerchief out of her front pocket and pressed it against the injury with her magic. Looking down at herself, Rarity groaned. A large portion of her brand new coat had been stained, and her favorite blue silk scarf was lying on the ground, soaking up mud- That was at least 50 bits down the drain right there, if not more.

Rarity's mourning was interrupted by shouts from around the corner she had come from just moments ago.

“She went this way, boss!”

“follow her! We can’t let her get away with those documents!”

Despite her ruined clothing, Rarity smiled to herself as she stole away into the night, said papers stuffed into her coat lining. Justice had been served once again.

-    -    -

Chimes clattered as Rarity pushed open the door to a small building tucked into an alley between Celestia Boulevard and 2nd. After Rarity had saved Rainbow’s hide those ten years ago (had it really been ten years? The unicorn wondered where the time had gone), Rarity started to get requests from her other friends to solve their mysteries or bring down criminals they had encountered. These jobs became more and more frequent, and soon the fashion designer found herself taking cases from more ponies then just her friends. Eventually, Rarity discovered she had almost unwittingly become a full-fledged detective.

Rarity had bought herself this place in Manehattan two years ago, and immediately afterward experienced a sudden spike in the number of cases she was undertaking. Apparently, Manehattan had a very significant crime problem. This last case had been presented by the Manehattan police chief herself, and had taken months to complete.

The detective agency itself had two floors dedicated to it: the waiting room and Rarity’s workspace on the ground floor, evidence storage and filing cabinets one floor up. The workspace was well maintained, and contained plenty of tasteful decor, but the second floor was barren save for the storage containers themselves. Cracks could be seen running along the drywall, and only the room’s original coat of paint was present. The last floor of the three story building was the unicorn’s flat, and was filled with all her personal belongings. Three of the walls were obscured by newspaper clippings and photos of Rarity herself, or by bookcases filled by magazines and awards the mare had accumulated. Spread across the fourth wall was a beautiful mural, commissioned from some of Manehattan’s greatest artists back when the bits were still flowing from Rarity’s fashion ventures.

Rarity walked over to her dark mahogany desk on the first floor, and set down the slightly bloody papers. The bleeding in her side had stopped, but it was already too late for her poor jacket. Thankfully, the documents she had procured remained intelligible. After quickly scanning over the pages, she walked up the creaking flight of stairs into her storage area. Her horn glowed as she pulled open the rightmost file cabinet. She would need to buy another one very soon. Rarity flipped through the files inside until she found the correct one, then levitated it beside her as she walked back down the bending wooden stairs.

As she set the file on her desk beside the papers, the door chimed again and the police chief, Safety Switch, walked in. By the way Safety’s dark green mane drooped, Rarity guessed that it had begun to rain outside.

“Why hello, Ms. Switch,” Rarity said without a smile. “I believe I have discovered the last piece of evidence needed to send every member of this gang to jail.”

The purple earth pony across from her stared in disbelief. After a short pause, Safety spoke again. “ow. At this point, I was starting to think you would never crack the case...”

Rarity frowned. “Well, I’m glad to know you have such confidence in my abilities.”

Safety Switch folded her ears back slightly.

“Anyway,” Rarity continued, “with the base payment of 100 bits, general expenses of 500 bits, and 150 bits for personal compensation, injuries, and the like, you owe me 750 bits.”

at “injuries and the like”, Safety’s eyes had been drawn to the hole in Rarity’s side, but now she stared at the unicorn’s face again, this time in shock. “750 bits? I.. I… I...”

The police chief’s stammering was broken off by the crackling of the walkie talkie at her side.

After a series of ‘what’s, ‘uh-huh’s and ‘alright’s, the earth pony turned back to the detective, still standing behind her desk.

“We can talk about payment later. Another case has popped up, and we need you for it.” said the chief. “Get ready as soon as possible, then meet my agents at the police station.”

The white unicorn rested her head on her hoof for a moment, then looked back up. “Fine. But I need a new coat first.” Rarity pulled a case full of clothes out from under her desk, then rifled through it a bit before pulling out a long purple trench coat. She pulled it on, then shoved Safety aside with her magic before pushing the door open with a slender, white hoof. As an afterthought, Rarity turned back and added, “and I’m charging you double for this!” before walking out.

-    -    -

After Rarity’s arrival at the station, she had been hastily filled in on the details. Apparently, members of the aristocracy had been committing crimes, with no memory of doing so afterward. Most of these crimes had been minor, and had been forgotten about after some bits found their way to certain high ranking ponies (dear Celestia, Rarity hated Equestria’s legal system), but just the day before, multiple ponies in downtown had been left in catatonic states after a run in with one of these perpetrators.

“and these are related somehow?” asked Rarity.

“Well, we’re not sure, but it would certainly seem so,” said one officer, “each pony that commits a crime in this fashion seemed to spend a fair amount of time with the previous perp.”

“Hm...” Rarity frowned. “I have a hunch. However, to confirm my suspicions, I must-” the stunning white unicorn flipped a black wide-brimmed hat onto her head. “go undercover!”

The officer she was talking to initially looked unimpressed, but straightened up and put on a disbelieving face after Rarity shot her a look.

“Now, as you might know, my dear friend Twilight is coming to town for an Equestrian Political Society banquet.” the detective stuck out her tongue at the mention of the EPS. “Any wise pony with even a small fortune to their name will be in attendance, ready with attempts to sway our mane lawmaker one way or another. This banquet shall provide an excellent opportunity to test possible causes of this mysterious crime spree. And,” Rarity said with a grin, “it’s been too long since I’ve been to an event this fancy.”

The officer Rarity had been talking to was simply staring at her with a blank expression.

“I’ll put the entrance fee under ‘expenses’,” said Rarity, then doffed her hat and left.

-    -    -

Rarity took a quick trip back to her flat to prepare her disguise. First, she put in some fiery orange contacts, then straightened her mane and dyed it a luxurious red. She walked over to her mirror to appraise her work, but then grimaced at the new scar in her side. She’d definitely have to cover that up.

Eventually, Rarity decided on a frilly black dress with purple highlights. After choosing a dress, the detective put several different outfits in her crate, including her purple trench coat and hat. She then pushed some clothes to the side with her hoof and placed a pistol at the bottom of the box. Just in case.

-    -    -

Rarity swept into the banquet hall with barely concealed glee. The banquet hall almost shimmered; Every surface was wiped clean and polished. The banquet building had a high glass ceiling, giving a view of the orange and purple hues of the evening. The main room was surrounded by a ring of balconies, and hallways branched out at the corners.

Although she was here to solve a mystery, there was certainly no reason why the fabulous mare couldn’t get some delicious food first. Maybe chat with some of the more polite ponies.

While Rarity looked around the room for a friendly face, she spotted Twilight surrounded by a crowd of political hopefuls. Some ponies held microphones and notepads out to the princess, while others appeared to be declaring their opinions very loudly. One gray stallion was shoving a written statement in the alicorn’s face.

Rarity sighed. She new she should probably just stay out of it, but…

Rarity trotted over to the mass of pastel ponies. The chatter of voices hurt Rarity’s ears as she approached. “Everypony!” Rarity shouted as loud as she could while retaining her dignity, “The punch is almost gone! If you want any, you should get it now.” the majority of the crowd started to drift off, and twilight was able to shrug aside most of the stragglers.

Rarity opened her mouth to speak, but Twilight jumped in first. “Can’t you ponies get the message? I have no plans to start mass import from the Griffon lands. Not now, not in a month, not in the foreseeable future. I don’t care how many bits you are willing to pay me!” Up close, Rarity could see the huge bags under Twilight’s eyes, and the slight twitch in her left eyelid. The Bureaucrat drooped slightly.

“Honestly, I have no idea how she managed all this without collapsing from stress.” Twilight said, seemingly more to herself than the unicorn in front of her.

“Well, Equestria’s political relations have gotten far more complex recently, so I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Besides, Celestia is an impossible standard on so many levels.” Rarity raised a front hoof to emphasize her point.

“What, who- oh yes right. Celestia.” Twilight quickly glanced around, eyelid still twitching slightly. After confirming… something… she relaxed slightly and spoke again. “It’s just… Sometimes I wonder why Celestia hoofed the country over to me in the first place.” Twilight sighed.

“Anyway, what’s your name?

Rarity thought for a quick second, then replied, “Ember Jewel.” She had to maintain her cover, even in front of her dear friend. Even after Rarity's distraction, there were still some attendees hanging around the pair; as soon as Twilight recognized her, so would half the rest of the banquet, and Rarity's Sleuthing would be foiled.

Twilight gave Rarity a strange look, but after a couple of seconds nodded and Extended a hoof. “Nice to meet you, Ember.”

The detective shook her friend’s hoof and started a reply, but before she could respond to Twilight, a large red stallion shouldered her aside to shout about the dangers of keeping Everfree as a national park.

The Political ponies had accumulated around Twilight again, a large number of them giving Rarity nasty looks. Several also muttered unkind things about punch. Rarity rushed to find a way through the mob, but it was too late. Twilight was once again encased in a writhing mass of party guests.

Rarity sighed; It had been five months since she had seen Twilight last, and that had been a quick lunch meet up. It would have been nice to actually converse with her friend, even though Rarity was in disguise.

Rarity spotted several groups of ponies that looked at least somewhat friendly that had drifted towards the refreshments, but Rarity now lacked an appetite for either food or conversation. Instead of joining them, Rarity skulked towards one of the side hallways. It was getting dark outside, and minor regions of the hall were only dimly lit. Small frames containing rather minimalistic works of art were interspersed between doorways leading to meeting rooms, restrooms, and the occasional storage closet.

The hallways were practically empty; only the occasional guest in need of the facilities passed by the detective, and soon Rarity grew bored. She considered going back to the main room and giving socialization another try, but decided against it; instead, she trotted up a flight of stairs onto the balcony, and observed the proceedings from above.

Hours passed without notable action, and Rarity found herself going back over possible explanations. 'freak coincidence' was crossed off the list first- Rarity avoided this explanation whenever possible. Changeling? Rarity certainly hoped not, although the possibility was still definitely there. Maybe it was just some rich, bored ponies beating up other folk for fun, although Rarity wasn't so sure about that answer either.

At that moment, the detective spotted Twilight leaving the main room. Rarity's ears perked up- maybe she would be able to speak with her friend after all! Rarity quickly hopped down the steps to the first level. She then practically skipped around the corner, just to see a purple tail disappear through the restroom door. Rarity sighed deeply, and was about to head back to the balcony, when she spotted a bright yellow stallion duck into a doorway farther down the hall.

Rarity crept carefully down the hall, the dark red rug beneath her masking her approach. The detective was thankful for the dim lighting, but she would still be spotted easily if the pony under investigation decided to look around; Rarity's dress, while magnificent for social events, was many times less appropriate for stealth. Rarity crept as close as she dared, then ducked into a different doorway somewhat close by. She then peered back out at the stallion. He was wearing a navy blue pinstriped suit, and had drooping pink mane. The pony was crouched in front of the door, and was fiddling intently with the knob. He suddenly looked up, and Rarity quickly ducked back behind the door frame.

A quick 'SNAP' was heard, followed by a string of expletives. Rarity saw her chance, and stepped out from her hiding place.

"Is something the problem, Sir?"

The stallion quickly straightened up, and attempted to adjust his horrid mane into what Rarity assumed was supposed to be a 'neat' arrangement.

"um- ah... n-n-no! nothing is the matter, miss! I was simply... I mean, er- well..." the stallion continued babbling for a few seconds before ceasing abruptly, and rapidly glancing about.

"Ah, good to hear nothing is the matter!" the detective piped up in a jovial tone. The floppy-maned pony gave a nervous smile.

Rarity continued, "For a moment, I was worried you were..." Rarity narrowed her eyes. "engaging in criminal activity." She put a hoof on the door, and the stallion leaned back slightly. The confronted pony gulped.

Rarity opened her mouth to continue, then stopped herself. whatever the stallion was up to didn't fit with the pattern of previous crimes. in all the other case examples, there was another pony present as a victim, which this... situation... certainly lacked.

However, there was still something strange going on here, and Rarity was going to find out exactly what. It wasn't like there was anything more interes-

A shout rang out from further down the hall, then was almost immediately silenced.

Speaking of victims.

Rarity whipped out her case, then flung off the dress and pulled her trench coat, hat, and a new scarf out. The pistol she levitated behind her. The suspicious stallion momentarily forgotten, Rarity lightly trotted towards where the sound had originated. Her quick steps brought her to the bathroom- the same bathroom Twilight had entered minutes ago.

Rarity's brow furrowed as she pushed open the door. She turned the corner and froze. A pale green mare lay against a closed stall door, her eyes glazed over. Blood covered parts of the floor, and Twilight was nowhere to be seen.

What was Rarity thinking? There was no time to worry about Twilight! Focusing her attention back at the hurt mare, Rarity rushed over to the mint pony.

"what happened here?" Exclaimed Rarity as she pressed her short-lived scarf against the large gash across the pony's chest.

The mare simply lifted a hoof and pointed it towards the exit to the bathroom- just as a vaguely pony-like shape passed through it.

After quickly tying the bloody scarf against the pony's wound, Rarity sprang up and rushed for the exit, pistol once again raised.

Bursting out of the bathroom, Rarity caught a glimpse of the fleeing figure- Twilight?

No.

Changeling.

Of course it was a changeling; it should have been obvious from the start. Energy drained from victims? Close contact between one criminal and the next? And Twilight had been acting rather odd during their short meeting. Ah, well. The only thing left to do was to prevent the horrible insectoid from hurting anypony else.

The Twilight changeling was almost around the corner. Rarity sped up her hoofsteps, but was too late- the changeling was already entering the main room. Cursing under her breath, Rarity followed.

The polished floors and glittering chandeliers of the banquet hall were just as they had been a few hours before, but everything was brought into sharper focus as Rarity scanned the room. The changeling would have changed forms already; remaining as Twilight would attract too much attention. Maybe the changeling joined that group of ponies waiting impatiently for Twilight to return? Wait, no, behind them! a singular pony tail was visible passing behind the clump.

Rarity crept forward, then made a mad dash around the mob. Her detective garb and gun were attracting confused and concerned looks, but Rarity could worry about that later. As Rarity passed the political ponies, one puce mare's eyes widened, and that pony started backing up. The detective lunged, and the puce pony ducked under a table. Rarity screeched to a stop, and panted.

Before Rarity could speak, the mare cried out, "SOMEPONY HELP!"

Almost Immediately, a hoof connected with the side of Rarity's face, and she stumbled. Another hoof sped towards the detective, but she was expecting it this time, and dodged out of the way. Her attacker backed off, allowing Rarity a good look at...

Herself.

The changeling had taken Rarity's appearance, minus the disguise. Fake Rarity met the real pony's eyes, winked, then spoke out. "stand down, fiend! The police are on their way. You can still make this easier for the both of us."

Most of the room was looking in the pair's direction at this point. Rarity doubted the changeling had actually called the police, but since she had attracted everypony's attention, someone in the crowd probably had. Maybe taking out her pistol hadn't been the best idea. Setting her weapon down, Rarity turned to the spooked mare, still under the table.

"My apologies, dear. Scaring you was certainly not my intention."

Rarity turned back to the assembled crowd.

"It seems like we have here a case of mistaken Identity-" at this point, Rarity gestured a hoof in the impostor's direction. "Or rather, STOLEN identity!"

"On this point, I would have to agree," the changeling piped up, "since I have been tracking you down for multiple instances of identity thievery."

The fake rarity made a horrified face as she continued, "just a day ago, poor Ember Jewel, the REAL one, had half her riches pilfered by this facsimile!"

A low chatter emanated from the crowd, containing quite a few nasty phrases about an overabundance of fruity beverages.

At this point, the police burst into the hall, looked around, spotted the ongoing confrontation, and quickly rushed over. there were five officers present, including Safety Switch herself; they must have realized this was the building Rarity was investigating when they got the call.

"I daresay I've found the culprit," said the changeling, "quite a tricky one, them!"

Safety Switch rushed over to congratulate the impostor.

"ARE YOU DAFT?"

The police chief froze.

Rarity took a moment to regain her composure, then continued, "you've been working with me for years. Do you really think I would run an investigation undisguised when I have a large chance of being recognized? I am competent in more than fashion, as you should very well know by now. Obviously, I would not take the chance."

Rarity took a moment to take out her contacts, and magically fix her hair. removing the dye would have to wait.

"The horrid...THING... you seem intent on showering with praise is a changeling, the one which has been terrorizing Manehattan for days."

The detective took a step forward, only to be shoved back by an officer.

"Sounds like something you would say if you were a changeling." The fake rarity smirked.

Safety spoke up, "Miss, you'll have to come with us."

Rarity's mind raced. This wasn't how the confrontation was supposed to go at all. There was nothing she- hmm.

Maybe the detective had one ace left...

"Wait!"

The police chief sighed and tapped her hoof impatiently.

Rarity pulled up the side of her coat, revealing the still fresh scar in her side.

"You saw this when you entered the agency, didn't you? you know my wound can't have healed by now. why don't you check your new Partner over there for similar bullet holes?"

Safety and her team looked over at the fake. The air around her side flashed, and an exact copy of Rarity's scar appeared.

The changeling was immediately tackled by the four officers accompanying the chief.

Now the real Rarity was the one smirking.

Twilight was found the following morning. Apparently, She had gone out for a late dinner the night before the banquet, and had been assaulted by the changeling. The princess had been violently bludgeoned to the point of unconsciousness- the changeling had encountered Twilight during the Canterlot invasion- and was then sucked dry of magic and love. She had then been locked up in the hotel bathroom. Unfortunately for the changeling, this process immediately preceded a reminder for Twilight about mandatory banquet attendance. Twilight only recovered enough magic to teleport again after the banquet had already finished, and was discovered cold out on the bedroom floor after just one spell use.

Rarity wanted to catch up a bit with her friend, but was informed that Twilight left for Canterlot early to recover. This left the detective in a sour mood as she exited the station. Rarity used some of her 1500 bits to buy three scarves (one scarf and two apparently required backups) and a new filing cabinet, then returned to her flat.

Thinking back on the case, Rarity decided it hadn't been all that bad. At least she had gotten the culprit, and received her bits. The detective never figured out what the disgustingly-maned stallion had been doing, but had some suspicions after she had found the door to the room the stallion had been by ajar. Rarity half expected to be hired for a robbery case within a day.

Rarity took off her jacket, put her hat on the bedside table, leaned back on her mattress, and closed her eyes.

A day in the life, she supposed.