If You Don't Give Derpy A Blueberry Muffin

by Dreamscape310

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Random, Comedy
Length: 731

There's only one thing that I, Pinkie Pie need to quote, NEVER RUN OUT OF BLUEBERRY MUFFINS AT SUGARCUBE CORNER!!! You do not want to know what happens if you do.

Cover Art by misray

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-26 15:16:56 UTC

Muffin Rampage

(Narrated by Pinkie Pie)

It was just another beautiful day in Ponyville. The birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing, and ponies were socializing. It was like nothing could go wrong...BUT YOU'RE WRONG! Anyways, I was taking a stroll down Ponyville, humming my favorite song I sang to Cranky when I first met him, "Smile", when I heard Mrs. Cake yell my name from Sugarcabe Corner. "Pinkie Pie! You're assistance is required!"

I quickly made my way to Sugarcube Corner, slightly curious about what was going on. When I opened the door, Mrs. Cake ran over to me. She whispered, "Pinkie Pie, we just ran out of supplies to make more blueberry muffins!". I was confused. Why would she be so worried about that? But  soon I glanced at the counter. There was Derpy. She loves blueberry muffins and would do anything to get one. "Where's my muffin?" she said. If she didn't get one in time, who knows what could happen!  "D-Don't worry," I said, "I'll go get some ingredients, and then everything will be fine!" "Oh thank you, Pinkie! I'm so glad you could help!"

I ran over to each market hoping that I could find all of the ingredients to bake a blueberry muffin, but they had sold out of almost everything! "Sorry," a store clerk said, "but new shipment will arrive in a couple days." A COUPLE OF DAYS?! Derpy could not wait that long for her muffin. I started to panic. There had to be someplace with some ingredients. I was about to go back and share the bad news with Mrs. Cake when all the sudden, I saw a market with everything I needed!

As soon as I walked out, I was leaping for joy, like 1,000 pounds had been lifted off of my back. I was so relieved! I thought I would have nothing to worry about now, but there was..One. Thing. I . Forgot. THE BLUEBERRIES!!! And that, I TOTALLY FORGOT.

When I arrived back at Sugarcube Corner, I heard a strange sound coming from the counter. It was like a zombie on that Minecraft game. "Where's my muffin.." it groaned. The weird sound was actually coming from Derpy, who had been waiting for about an hour for her muffin and her eyes looked like they were going to pop out soon.

Then I hurried and mixed the ingredients, and put them in the oven, still not knowing that I didn't get any blueberries. As soon as they were done, I quickly took them out, and accidentally burnt myself a bit. I wanted them to cool off quicker, so I placed them in the fridge. But when I took them out of the fridge, I finally realized that I forgot the blueberries. "What?!" I said. "How could I have forgotten?! This is going to be a disaster!" I bolted out of the kitchen and told Mrs. Cake the news. "I guess we'll just have to go with the plain muffins then." she said.

I choose the most perfect muffin out of the batch and gave it to Derpy, who was eager to have what she wanted. When she saw that it was just a plain muffin, her pupils got really small and her eyes started to twitch. I started to panic. A LOT.

"WHERE'S MY BLUEBERRY MUFFIN?" she roared. Steam started to fly out of her ears and she started to rage, tearing the whole place apart. I had no choice but to flee from Sugarcube Corner. Derby soon flew out of the bakery and tore street markets and flower pots apart.

Suddenly her mane turned to fire as she roared as loud as she could. "I WANT MUFFIN!!!!!". The roar scared every pony nearly to death, breaking windows and shattering eardrums. Her mane caught fire to many buildings and burnt them down. She looked like she was about to blow up! And well, I was right.

She started to scream uncontrollably, like a rampaging monster. I was shocked. I had no idea what to do. I just..stood there. The whole world was about to end for Equestria. There was nothing anypony could do to stop Derpy from going crazy. "IF NOPONY GIVE ME MUFFIN, I DESTROY!!!"

And that was the end of Equestria. Nopony expected what would happen that day.

WORLD LESSON: NEVER RUN OUT OF BLUEBERRY MUFFINS AT SUGARCUBE CORNER!!!