The Pursuit Of Happiness Chapter 2: Yeehaw, pardner!

As I stood in the breeze outside the hospital, the smell of dust assaulted my nose, the intense heat slammed into my body, and the nothingness went on for what felt like forever.

“Damn, this like real life Red Dead Redemption, there’s nothing for miles….. what the heck do I do first? Where do I go? Why would they have a hospital here?!”

I decided to head west, to the mountains there. They looked like giant mesas, the kinds you see in midland Montana, around Butte and Great Falls, the giant tabletops of rock. They seemed to just be calling me, pulling me.

As I got to the rolling foothills of the mesas, I came to a train station. I saw a sign that read “Dodge Junction”. I thought for a minute….. this is where Applejack goes to after her performance at the Equestria rodeo in Canterlot in The Last Roundup!

I saw the train station, and the port a potty where Pinkie had her “moment”. Then, I saw Cherry Jubilee and her ranch! I saw a sign out front that advertised that she was hiring. I thought for a moment.

I’m new to Equestria, and I need money, badly. Why not take a job for a bit? I took a flyer in my mouth and walked inside the house.

The house was magnificent. It was basically a giant wooden cabin, adorned with western themed décor, and also cherry themed décor everywhere. Everything had a classy, old world feel to it, so welcoming and nice.

Then, a shrill voice with a southern accent spoke. “Well, howdy there! How can I be of assistance Mr…..?”
“Jordan” I said. I then extended my hoof out and shook hooves. She saw I had the flyer and smiled.
“Ah, you here to take the job?!” She said very excitedly.
“EE-yup” I said back, imitating Big Macintosh.

She smiled heartily at me.

“Very well then, you start immediately, so let me give you the rundown sweet heart. You get paid for every full bucket of cherries you bring back to me, 3 bits for a bucket to a maximum of 60 bits. Got it honey?

I just nodded in agreement.

“Good, now get goin!” She opened the back door and I ran outside, through rows and rows of majestic cherry trees.

I decided to walk as far out as I could, to the edges of the orchard. I found the farthest tree, and to my surprise there was a bucket underneath. I guess she has someone place them there.

I had never treebucked before, but I figured it would be easy. So, foolishly, I stood in front of the mighty cherry tree, turned around and, quickly, kicked my legs on it.

“OW, GODDAMNIT!” I cried out. That was not a smart move. Trees are way sturdier than they appear. When I bucked the tree, my untrained legs did nothing but give out after they made contact, reverberated off the trunk, and fell. It didn’t help that I got splinters on my hooves!

“What did I do wrong? In the show, Applejack just did that….. nothing secret!”

Or so I thought. After another two hours of falling on my flank, I finally got the hang of it, and by 5 PM I got the maximum number of trees. Turns out, the secret is all in the stance of the front hooves. You have to be almost like in a handstand, and use gravity to your advantage while you kick.

I went to Jubilee and she gladly gave me my payment.

“If ya want more work, feel free to come back to my humble ranch hon! I could always use such a strong stallion!”

I blushed a little and smiled.

“I’d like that Mrs. Jubille. See you around!”

I waved my hoof at her to say goodbye, and she did the same. I then walked back towards Appleloosa town square. But, on the dirt path I was walking on, something happened.

As I walked, I stopped when I saw a mysterious creature at the side of the road. It looked hurt and afraid. Was it a baby bear? A dog puppy perhaps?

My inner Fluttershy kicking in, I walked over to the poor thing and tried to comfort it. It was sniveling and shivering, despite the heat. It was a bear cub.

“There there buddy, we’re gonna get you some help. Come one!”

I picked the cub up and started walking towards the town vet, but then, all of a sudden, something pushed me into an alley and I was pinned against a wall forcefully.

I felt hands reach into my saddle bag where my money from Jubilee was.

“HEY, who are you, what are you doing to me?! Let me go!”

I started to frantically wiggle and squirm to get away, but whoever this was had a firm grip.

“Shut up! You’re lucky I don’t bring you back to my gang and they don’t violate you for a fortnight. Thanks for your generous donation to our organization sir, your patronage is much oblieged!”

With that, I felt something hard slam into my jaw, and then, nothing but blackness.

-THREE HOURS LATER-

Pain. Darkness. Shock. I had just gotten robbed, and was slowly coming back to.

It was gone. The money I earned from Jubilee, gone. I had nothing, once again. After some deep thinking, I surmised the whole thing was a trap from the moment I saw the injured bear cub. That bastard had it all planned out from the start.

And like a damned fool I took the bait, hook, line, and sinker. How could I have been so stupid.

Suddenly, I turned my head, and a colorful poster on a post caught my eye. It was advertising the Appleloosa rodeo. Deciding I needed a break from this drama, I decided to go. Maybe I’d find this guy and get retribution.

I slowly walked from there to the rodeo arena. To my surprise, the place was PACKED with ponies in the stands and rodeo clowns were down in the pit for intermission. I didn’t have money to pay for a ticket, so I decided to sweettalk the lady at the counter.

“Hello there. Five bits for a ticket.”
“Five bits? Ah, shoot….. I really want to see the show, but I got robbed yesterday. All my money was taken….. any way you could help me out, good lookin?”

The beautiful pink and red earth pony gasped a little bit and blushed bright red and pink at me, making me smile slyly. I always had a special talent for making girls smile.

“Yes, of course handsome. This one is on me. I’m so sorry you got robbed. Enjoy the show!”
“Thank you, I will, sugar!”

After one more blush towards me, she hit a button, gave me my ticket and opened the gate. I slowly walked inside and up into the stands, as low as I could get to the show, which was the third row.

The atmosphere in the place was amazing. The smell of steamed vegetables, cotton candy, drinks, everything. You could smell the musty dirt on the ground, the sound of cheering made your eardrums want to rupture. It was the greatest show on earth.

I sat in my seat and watched the rodeo clowns. One clown was juggling while on a unicycle, and another was hula-hooping. Another one was doing handstands while walking on his hands, and others were doing assorted goofy things. They were all so articulated and skilled at what they were doing, balancing their unicycles, giving just the right amount of force on the object they were launching in the air to juggle, etc.

Then, the clowns ran to the back, and squad of seven pegasuses lined up for a speed derby. The fastest Pegasus was the winner. There was a smoky, jet black one that looked like a forest fire’s smoke, a bright yellow one who looked like a mobile sun, an all green one that looked like a field of grass, a purple one, a red one, a white one.

Then. I saw her. A blue Pegasus, with a rainbow mane, and purple eyes. I gasped and yelled out in excitement.

“RAINBOW DASH!” I cried out. She looked in the stands and waved at me, and I waved back.

“KNOCK THEM DEAD! Leave these lame-o’s in the dust!” I cried out after we waved. She gave me a delighted smirk/grin and took the position, getting ready to race.

My knees then started to wobble after I heard a cannon go off, and they all started to race. The purple pony jetted into the front, while the green and yellow ones traded the lead by a nose all the way to the first quarter of the track. All the others, besides Dash, were far behind.

To my surprise, Dash was in third at the first quarter of the race! How could the fastest pony alive be in third?! Then, I realized something. Dash’s wings were barely fluttering. She was messing with her competitors, saving her strength. “Ah….. a closer” I thought to myself. A closer is a term used in horse racing for a horse and jockey who prefer to save as much energy as they can till the final stretch.

They kept these positions until the final stretch, when all of a sudden, Dash flapped her wings as hard as she could, and leapt into first in the blink of an eye. Everypony’s jaws dropped as a sonic rainboom appeared. I shouted out, in the words of Fluttershy,”A SONIC RAINBOOM! SHE DID IT, SHE DID IT! WOOOO!”

After some weird looks from those around me, we all looked back to the race to see Dash cross the finish line. Second place took fifteen seconds after her to get there. She SMOKED them.

After taking a breather, Dash then did a fly-by of the crowd before she stopped at me.

“Hey man, thanks for cheering for me! It meant a lot!”
“No problem Rainbow Dash, how could I not root for the fastest Pegasus in the history of history!”

She again just gave me a delighted smirky smile and gave me a little noogie.

“Hope to see you around man!”
“Me too Dash! Bye!”

As she left and went into the backstage area, I couldn’t help but admire Dash. Yes, she was hot headed, and could be a bitch sometimes. But she was a good-hearted pony.

“Bless these ponies for doing this, I would just be embarrassed if I tried it.” I said to myself. Then, the announcer came on.

“ALLLLLLL RIGHT EVERYPONY! Now it’s time for the part of the show you love! We are gonna pick a lucky seat number. The pony sitting in that seat will have a chance to compete in the rodeo, and the chance to win two hundred bits!”

After some cheers and applause, he continued.

“Now, here we go. I am picking a seat number from a piece of paper in this bowl….. here we go….. SEAT NUMBER 46!”

Everypony quickly turned at their seat numbers, sighing sadly when they realized they didn’t win. I didn’t even bother, because I never win anything. Suddenly, I felt a nudge on my shoulder. A bright purple Pegasus bumped it and whispered “That’s YOUR seat pal! Get down there!”

In shock that I actually won that lottery, I quickly got out of my seat and dashed to the floor.

“Well well well, we do have a winner! Everypony, clap for this nice gentlecolt!” He said with a welcoming smile upon him.

Everypony clapped and stomper their hooves.

“Now then, what is your name son?” He said with a curious look as he studied my features.

I took the mic and replied “Jordan. Thank you sir.” I said with an appreciative smile.

“Well Jordan, don’t thank me yet. You haven’t won yet! You still have to compete in the rodeo! Now, you get the chance to choose which competition you want. Will you play toro with the Manticore? Will you hay bale stack? Will you try to tame a lion, what what what?! Make your choice!” He said this with a slight smirk.

Oh boy. Now I’m in for it. On Earth, I was never a “good with my hands or body” kind of person. I usually never did anything athletic. Now I have to compete in one of these activities. I thought deeply for a few seconds as I gazed at the ponies in the crowd before I replied.

“Well, I don’t think my chances with the manticore are good, same with the lion. So, I think I’m gonna have to go with the hay bale stacking!” I said with a slightly confident grin.

Everypony cheered at my decision. The hay bale stacking competition had a spot in everypony’s hearts for some reason.

“All right, go backstage and get ready. You’re on in five sonny colt!” With that, I galloped to the backstage and sat on a bench.

A few performers walked past me and said things like “Good luck!” Or “Don’t get crushed pipsqueak!” Or “It’s all in the legs, measure the power of your kick!” I took their advice to heart. It’s like they say, always best to learn from the pros.

As I was getting ready, I heard the announcer speak once again.

“Now, mares and gentlecolts, we have a momentous occasion to celebrate. Last week, Princess Luna was brought back to us, Nightmare Moon defeated. Equestria can finally rest easy!” Everypony cheered, and I thought deeply.

If he was announcing this just now, then I must have came to Equestria right after the events of the series premiere! That means I know everything that happens to the ponies of Equestria before they do!

Then I got to thinking; would that mean I’M part of the show now? Would I be a background pony, or one of the mane six? So many questions it made my head hurt!

After more thinking, I decided that it will be best for everypony if I try not to think about it, and live in this land as if I never saw the show. If I were, for example, to tell Twilight she becomes a princess if I do happen to meet her, it could change everything in Equestria. I couldn’t do that.

Besides, she would call me crazy and probably have me sent to Canterlot to be judged by Celestia and exiled. Couldn’t have that!

Then, as I was deep in thought, starting at the floor, I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned, and saw Rainbow Dash sitting next to me on the bench.

“Hey there kid! Well, aren’t you a lucky little dog, you get to compete!”
“I’m starting to wonder if it’s really a good thing though Dash. I’m not very athletic….. you can tell by the horn afterall.” I was shaking a bit as I said this, and she noticed.
“Hey, you ok?”
“Yeah, I just….. um….. well….. I’m such a big fan Dash! I’ve been one of your biggest fans for a while and I can’t believe I’m meeting you!” All of this was sincere, but since she didn’t know who I was, she just figured I meant a fan of her flying and such.

“Well thank you kid! It means a lot to me. Hey, what’s your name anyway?”
“Jordan” I replied.

She scrunched her nose a bit, confused by the weird name.

“Jordan huh? What a weird name. Are you from a far away land?”
I nodded at her and smirked a little.
“You don’t know the half of it. It took me a long time to get here!”
“Well hey, where do you live?”

Crap. How do I go about explaining that I’m homeless?!
“I uh….. I don’t have a home. I’m a bit of a vagabond, but I want to settle down.”
She gave an understanding nod and spoke again.
“Shame you don’t have wings, you could come with me to Cloudsdale! But, you could travel to Canterlot and ask Celestia what would be best. She always knows what to do.”

Suddenly, the announcer called my name. I was on.

Dash punched my leg playfully.

“Good luck” she said.
“Thanks Dashie!”

She smiled at me, and I galloped into the arena.

I saw about a hundred bales of hay strewn across the dirt floor, the announcer standing talk on one of them.

“Alright everypony! The time has come, FOR THE HAY BALE STACKING!!!!!”
Everypony cheered and stomper their hooves excitedly.
“AND, as you know, our dear friend Jordan is competing, for the chance to win 200 bits!”
He then looked at me and nodded.
“You ready kid? LET’S GET TO IT THEN!”

With that, the first bale flew towards me.
“Oh sheisse!” I thought to myself. I quickly turned around and bucked it carefully, stacking the first one.

This kept going on and was easy to do until 25 bales. At that point, I was bucking as hard as Applejack would. I managed to find a trick to bucking. Stand still, kick your legs swiftly, rinse and repeat. When I got to 40 I was 3 away from the record!

“OH MY GOODNESS, this is amazing! 4 more bales to set a new record! COME ON JORDAN!” the announcer excitedly said. He was actually shaking as he watched, the crowd was on their feet cheering, and the sheriff was cheering also.

Then, as I was looking around waiting for the next bale, I saw Applejack for the first time. She had an angry look on her face, and I realized why. I would be breaking HER record if I broke the forementioned record.

“There ain’t no way he’s gonna break mah record Rainbow, so sit down and be quiet for pony’s sakes!”
Rainbow dash grinned and replied. “He’s doing way better than you did, and he’s not even tired! He’s got this!”

As I heard that exchange, I smiled happily at Dash’s words and kept going. Slowly, but surely, I got to 43.

“HE HAS TIED THE RECORD EVERYPONY!”
“One more bale! One more bale! One more bale!” everypony cheered.

I admit, I was tired. And wanted to stop. But I needed the bits, and I wanted to make history. So, I prepared my legs, and bucked the bale. It flew straight up into the air gracefully, landing on top. And stayed there.

“HE DID IT, HE DID IT, HE DID IT! THE RECORD IS BROKEN!” the announcer frantically called out.
Applejack threw her hat down on the ground and stomped it, and Dash cheered for me.
“YEAH JORDAN, I knew you could do it kid!”

I smiled widely at her before the announcer walked up to me and handed me a coinpurse full of the 200 bits I was promised. He then grabbed my leg and held my hoof in the air.

“Three cheers for the new hay bale stack champion!”
With that, everypony cheered as loud as they could. I went around the stands and celebrated with some people before I saw a figure in the crowd.

Not just any figure. Someone who was holding a coinpurse, that looked exactly like mine! Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

I quickly ran towards him. “STOP, THIEF!” I yell. Everypony was confused and just got out of the way.

He was fast and wily, but I was determined to catch him as we left the rodeo arena and went to town square.

“YOU….. MOTHER…... GET BACK HERE NOW!”

Finally, my speed proved to be greater and I jumped on this bastard and tackled him.

I pinned him to the ground, punched him in the jaw so he wouldn’t move, and took my coin purse.

I then stood up and looked him in the eye. “Donation taken back, motherfucker. Have a nice day!”

As he was hurt and stunned on the ground, I galloped back to the arena. Although I got some awkward, confused looks, I ignored them.

I went back into the stands and sat down, albeit with everypony giving me high fives and such.

After the show, everypony left the arena, but the announcer asked me to stay behind. I wondered why, but decided I should.

I went down to the floor after everypony left and he smiled at me, with Rainbow and Applejack next to him. Applejack studied me for a moment, before she gave a weak smile and extended her hoof. I extended mine and we both shook hands. “Nice work pardner, ya’ll worked hard out there. But don’tcha think for a second that record’s gonna keep. I’ma smash it next year buddy boy!”

I smirked a little at her and laughed. “Is that a challenge? Cause you are so on!”

The announcer then spoke up. “Anyway, Jordan. Rainbow Dash here told me you’re homeless, and you don’t have anywhere to live. Is that correct?” I nodded.
“Well, I have a surprise for you then. See, there was another pony in attendance tonight nopony knew about. A very special pony. Jordan, may I present Princess Celestia.”

I turned to the right where the entrance was and my jaw dropped. Sure enough, walking up to the lot of us, was the princess in all her beauty and glory, her ethereal mane elegantly drifting in the wind, her majestic white coat shining in the sun, her horn and wings graceful as always. I was just in shock. She looked more beautiful and graceful than she ever did on the show. She occupied every corner of my mind.

She then spoke to me. “Hello my dear. Jordan, that was a very impressive performance you put on, you are quite athletic!”

I chuckled a bit and said “Well, thank you so much princess! It’s such an honor to meet you, I’ve heard and read so much about you. It is truly an honor.” I bowed my head and kissed her hoof.

She laughed and made me rise. “The pleasure is all mine, hay bale stacking champion. Now, onto serious matters, my subjects Rainbow Dash and Applejack tell me you have no home, and no current job, correct?” I nodded.

“Well then, I have a proposition for you. You see, one of the ponies in Ponyville, my student Twilight Sparkle, is in need of a new assistant. You see, her former assistant, Spike, insisted he needed a change of scenery, and left.”

As she continue talking, I thought again. In the show, Spike never leaves twilight. Does that mean my presence here affects the timeline of events? I then broke my train of thought as Celestia said something that made my heart stop.

“And if you want, you can live with her. I already contacted her and she awaits your arrival with open hooves. She’s always eager to help anypony in need. However, I would ask that you join her and her friends every week to write a report on your findings in friendship whenever you find them.”

I was flabbergasted. Celestia, without even knowing me, has just given me a home. She was the greatest!

“Oh my goodness, thank you Princess, this is great! I’ll leave for Ponyville immediately your majesty!”

“Of course Jordan! I couldn’t rest at night knowing you didn’t have a place to call home. OH, also, on a side note, tomorrow I need you to come to Canterlot to see me once you have settled in.”

“Of course your grace, it would be my honor, and pleasure.” I smiled at her, and she gave a gracious smile back.

With that, we all said our goodbyes to Celestia and the announcer before we looked at each other.

“Road trip?” I said. The others giggled and agreed. We then got on the next train to Ponyville, enjoying each other’s company and newfound friendship.

I thought to myself how great today was. I met two of the mane six, won two hundred bits, and made new friends. And I was heading to Ponyville to start a new life. This was great! I was so happy, tears formed in my eyes and Applejack gave me a tissue. I then started to sing as I looked out the window.

“I….. I never ever dreamed. Not once, not in my wildest fantasies.
Never did I dream, never did it seem, that happiness was ever possible for me.
But here I am, and everything’s all right. For the first time in forever, my vision is no longer black and white.
I’m here and I’m happy, I’m here and I’m hopeful, that I have found reason, and something worth living for.
I may not be smart, I may not be bright, but as I look to the skies, I find reason to be happy tooooooonighttttttt!”

I finished singing, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash both had tears in their eyes, wiping them.

“Wow sugarcube, that was amazin….. Ah’m so glad you’re happy. You’ll love Ponyville, and our friends are all nice!”

Rainbow nodded in agreement, and we all shared a group hug.

Then Rainbow looked at me. “But I have a question. What was your old life like, to make you that excited to start fresh?”

CRAP. I couldn’t explain the truth….. I just couldn’t!

“Uh, well….. you see. I lived in a far off village, way away from here. It….. was hard there. It was cramped, cluttered. I had some comforts and benefits, but I was missing things….. a lot of things. Things I thought maybe I could find in Equestria.”

As I said this, I started to think of all the good things I had back home. My girlfriend, Mackenzie….. my god she must be worried sick and/or crying he eyes out. I started to get depressed as I thought about it, my ears drooping and my head hanging low, and Applejack saw this. She placed her hoof on mine and looked into my eyes.

“Everything all right sugarcube?” she asked meaningfully.

I looked back into hers and sighed. “Maybe, maybe not. I just….. miss somepony…..”

“Who Jordan?” Rainbow asked.

I sighed. “My marefriend, Mackenzie…..” I looked away sadly and some tears fell.

“What? You mean you had somepony special back home? Then why did you leave?”

“Why do you two care….. we practically just met. We’re practically strangers! For all you know I could be a murderer, or…..or…..”

Applejack cut me off by placing her hoof on my mouth.

“Now listen here buddy boy, ah know that ain’t truth. Ah can see it in your eyes, you’re a good pony, you’re just hurt. But me and Rainbow won’t hurtcha. We wanna be your friends.”

That sent me over the edge, and I started crying again.

“You don’t understand Applejack. I can’t be your friend, because I don’t know how. I’ve never had any friends….. back home, it was me, my family, Mackenzie, and that was it. I didn’t know friendship, or happiness, I never have…”

She handed me a napkin to wipe my tears away and smiled.

“You’ll learn sugarcube. Ah know you can.”

“Yeah, me too!” Dash piped in.

I smiled at them gratefully.

“Ok, I’ll... I’ll try my best.”

We got into Ponyville after a few hours of train riding. When the train stopped, I walked to the door and breathed heavily.

“Well, here we go. Time to start fresh!”

End of chapter two.

Author's Note

Well, here's chapter two. This is one of those chapters where, writing it, seemed good. But looking back, it's filled with poor characterization, horrible grammar, ungodly corny scenes. Good thing i write better these days.