The Ponyville Diaries

by Blue Stroke

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2431

Twilght has been tasked with learning all the residents in Ponyville, and she runs into some... Interesting complications and ponies who all cause her equally frustrating problems

Twilght has been tasked with learning all the residents in Ponyville, and she runs into some... Interesting complications and ponies who all cause her equally frustrating problems.

She'll travel around ponyville meeting all types of "fascinating" ponies, and things don't exactly always go how they're planned to for Princess Twilight. An easy and exciting job for her quickly becomes one of much irritation.

Published 2016-05-27 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-27 21:00:01 UTC

Log One: Lyra & Bon Bon

Log One — ”Lyra and Bon Bon”:

I know I only wrote log one about a minute ago, but I can’t wait to get started so… Yea, I decided to get started right away! I’ll be writing everything down in this diary that I find useful or important information during my research along the way

* * * * *

I left the castle and walked down onto the road towards ponyville and began to walk. I can’t contain my excitement for all the great ponies I’m going to meet. Squee!

Deep breath Twilight, you need to keep a calm composure because this is a professional job, and I must do princess-quality work. Wouldn’t want to mess this important royal job up, now would I? I continued to walk into town and saw that today seemed to be a rather mild day. Birds were chirping as they flew across the cloud-cleared, pegasi-filled sky. They must have just finished clearing out the sky as it is their daily routine. The process of clearing out the sky has always fascinated me in Ponyville. Back in Canterlot they just have magic that repels the clouds or attracts them if need be. Just to see what it was like, one day I tagged along with Rainbow Dash and let’s just say it was a bad experience. Just because I gained wings as a princess does not mean cloud kicking becomes a talent of mine unfortunately. I won’t go into details about it… Kinda embarrassing to be honest. Maybe another time then.

So I guess I should just start with the first ponies I come across then? I looked around and saw a couple isolated pockets of ponies around the market. Must not have been a popular mark day today. Haven’t seen any of my friends today either but I’m sure they’re around.

I looked to my left and saw a pony sitting alone at a Daisy Cafe. She looked like she was mad at something so I decided maybe I could both talk to her and help her with whatever is troubling her. I walked over to the table and stood beside her but she did not even pay me the littlest bit of attention…

“It’s… Lyra, right?” I asked the mint-coated unicorn. Without even turning to look at me she nodded her head. I raised a brow in slight confusion. “Ok then…” Her eyes were squinted and they had not moved an inch from where they had been looking since I first saw her. “So, uh… Would you be willing to answer a few questions for me? Shouldn’t take much of your time. I’m on an important princess mission.”

“Sure, sure, whatever,” she said almost clueless to what I even asked her. She was too busy focusing elsewhere. I sighed and opened the log book and turned to a new page and grabbed a pen out of my saddle bags, placing the tip on the page, ready to write.

“Alright, first question: How long have you been in Ponyville?” Lyra momentarily turned her gaze to me.

“Uh, not much longer than you. Came here to visit some friends and I just decided to stay one day,” she answered quickly. I wrote it down in the log as she talked. “Am I done? she asked.

“Well I kinda wanted to ask some more questions. I’m supposed to be getting to know everyone in Ponyville.

“Ugh, can’t you see I’m busy? Was that not enough?” she said irritably.

“Well I think Princess Celestia wants me to know more than that….” I responded.

“Well your highness, it will have to wait. I’m. Busy…” The way she spoke was highly disrespectful so I began to get a bit irritated myself.

“What can you possibly be busy with? You aren’t doing anything!” I said maybe a bit too loud out of frustration. Lyra completely snapped out of her trance and turned to me in shock.

“Geez, alright fine. I’m having some… Problems…”

“Well as Princess I’m obliged to help you. What’s the problem?” She pointed to the other side of the market. I spun around to see she was pointing at one of the market stalls. “Rival salespony?” She shook her head. There was a stallion standing in front buying at the stall. “Relationship issues?” She nodded her head slowly and sadly. “Well I can help with that. Why don’t we go talk to him?”

“Him!?” she spiked out of nowhere.

“The stallion at the stand, yes him.”

“No not that stallion, are you crazy?” she asserted. Well, that didn’t take long for somepony to call me crazy. “I’m not talking about the stallion, ew.”

“Then what?” I asked. The stallion finished his purchase and then stepped aside to reveal the pony running the stand. It was the local candy salespony. I’ve been to that stand before, once or twice. The pony was a mare. “Ooooh.” I wrote down another note in the log. Prefers mares.

“Bon Bon has been all over me recently and I can’t get a break. I made one measly slip up and she won’t forgive me.”

“So… Your solution is to stalk her?”

“I’m not stalking! It’s like… A stakeout. Yea.”

“Riiight… And why are you doing that?”

“Because I need to make sure she isn’t looking at other mares.” I fought the urge to facehoof.

“I’m pretty sure you have no reason to worry. And even then, you can’t force someone to not be in a relationship with anypony else.”

“You're not helping!” she yelled as she slammed her head against the table. “We’re inseparable!”

“Doesn’t look that way. If she wants to look for other ponies why can’t you?”

“You don’t understand. Me and Bon Bon do everything together!” Lyra sounded like she was starting to break down. She was exaggerating all of her words like it was the end of the world.

“Fine fine, I’ll go talk to her for you okay?”

“Yes please! Thank you thank you thank you!”

“Calm down, it’s nothing. It’s my job to help ponies with things like this.” It says so on my non-existent princess job description.

“Ok… I’ll try…” she said as she sunk back into the table, her face on the surface of it.

I started walking across the market towards the stall an also wrote down in the log while I walked. Ponies are crazy, and Lyra is crazier. I am starting to notice a trend of ‘crazy’ today.

“Hello, how may I help you? Can I offer you some candies princess?” Bon Bon greeted kindly.

“Hell Bon Bon, I was actually coming over to ask you questions.” Bon Bon rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Is this about Lyra?”

“Well, yes and no.”

“Well what is it then?”

“I’m on an important mission from Princess Celestia to learn everypony in Ponyville well.”

“Like Pinkie? She came around about half an hour ago and was saying a happy hello to everypony she saw and then bought a whole bag of my products.”

“Yea, like Pinkie, but maybe not that well. I don’t know how she does what she can. Best we never question it.” Bon Bon shrugged and we shared a small laugh. “Anyways, you don’t mind if I ask you some questions?”

“Go ahead,” she said with a hoof gesture. “Anything to get my mind off of Lyra right now.” I ignored that second comment.

“So how long have you been in Ponyville?” She looked up in thought before looking back to me.

“Really as long as I can remember I think. I have family in Manehattan but my parents preferred the smaller town scene,” she explained as I wrote it all down. “Lately I’ve been here living with a roommate and working this stall on every market-day.”

“That roommate is Lyra?”

“Hmph. Yes,” she said in a frustrated tone. As she said so she began to fiddle with her stock; a clear sign somepony was uncomfortable with the current subject. I took the time to look behind me at Lyra who was watching intently. “Who are you looking at it? Oh… Wait! She sent you didn’t she?!” Bon Bon lashed out.

“No no, I came on my own accord,” I said defensively

“Agh! Why are you helping her? You're a princess, you aren’t supposed to take sides!”

“I’m not taking sides! I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on in your two’s… Relationship,” I said defensively again.

“Nothing. Nothing is going on!” She yelled.

“Bon Bon, please calm down, I’m just trying to help,” I said with a lowering hoof motion.

“You’re trying to get into a matter you have no right getting into!” she said disturbingly loud. I wrote down something about a tember in the log.

“As Princess of Friendship it IS my responsibility actually…” I asserted. I turned to Lyra and she was covering her face in shame. I flashed my horn and teleported Lyra to the stand.

“Agh!” she yelled as she fell to the ground in a crumble. “What?!” she yelled angrily as she looked up at me. “This wasn’t part of the plan!”

“Plan!” Bon Bon exclaimed as she turned to me and pointed right at my face, getting disturbingly close. “I knew you were working for her!” I rolled my eyes.

“There was no plan!” I lashed before quickly covering my mouth with a hoof. “That came out louder than it should.” Lyra stood up and faced me.

“Princess, how could you do this to me?” she accused. I’m so confused…

“Do what? I didn’t do anything!” I said as I backed up a few steps.

“How could you help her, Princess?” Bon Bon further accused. What is going on!?

“I’m not helping anyone!” I said as I took even more steps backwards. “I just wanted to ask some questions…”

“Well we don’t want your stupid questions anymore,” they said in perfect unison. They turned to each other in surprise and everything for a moment stood still. All of a sudden out of nowhere they started laughing in each other’s faces… But it was happy laughter. That’s… Good? What is going on?

“I’m sorry Bon Bon…” Lyra said sincerely.

“No Lyra, I’m sorry. I should not have gotten so angry at you,” Bon Bon responded equally as sincere. If my face had to be described it would be as follow: somepony so confused as if they just a hippopotamus flying with a filly cowpony riding it. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry for trying to take some of your candy…” Lyra continued.

“Wait, what…” I butted in though I was ignored.

“And I’m sorry for not being nice enough to spare a few pieces for my marefriend…” Bon Bon added on.

“Wait, what?!” I repeated twice as loud and shocked. They both turned to look at me together. “Wait wait wait… Hold up a second. This whole dumb feud was because Lyra wanted some of your candy and you wouldn’t give it to her?!” I questioned frustratedly.

“Yea… What about it?” Bon Bon asked curiously as if the whole problem never existed. I did not even respond and instead turned away and just started walking away without another word, quietly grumbling to myself while I furiously wrote in the log.

“What’s wrong with her?” Lyra asked Bon Bon quietly. Bon Bon just shrugged.

* * * * *

Day one of my mission is complete… I guess. It is still only early morning but I ran into some frustrating complications that had put me off my way. I believe it is best if I retire for the day. So far, I only have two ponies in here… And many more to go. There is no way they can all go this bad, right?

Ponies in this town are officially crazy. I know I have called them crazy before, but now by royal decree I declare it official.

Author's Note

Sooo... Yea.
There we go.
Anyways, there's that. Just a random chapter for a random story I felt like making for some reason I guess... I thoight it was "meh" bit if you liked it, I would LOVE to hear some feedback. If you somehow did like that poor writinnof mine and you would like to see more, comment and tell me what cgaracters you would liek to see next. I would love to rake any suggestions you give to me.

Log 0: Introductions

Log Zero— Intro:

Hello diary, you and me will make great friends. This is Twilight Sparkle and today I start my most exciting mission yet! Yesterday, I received an important letter from Princess Celestia giving me one of my most important tasks yet. As a rather new Princess, I’ve been waiting for the chance to do something like this. I was tasked… With learning everypony in Ponyville!

Now I know what you’re thinking diary, or actually no wait, you're a diary, you can't think, that’s scientifically impossible… But if you could think, I know what you would be thinking. You’d be thinking I’m crazy! It’s ok diary, if somehow you were alive and you did think that, I would not be offended. I’ve had my fair share of crazy moments, that’s for sure… But this time will be different. I will make Celestia proud!

Oh… But where do I start? There’s so many ponies to meet, so many places to go, Ponyville is a big place! Deep breaths Twilight, deep breaths… You’re a princess, you can handle this. Just some interviews, some questions, easy, nothing to it… Right?

No no, you can do this, no need to panic Twilight, you’re a smart pony. Ponyville ponies have always been nice to me, this won’t be hard.

Maybe I should talk to Pinkie… She knowns everypony here already… As well as a scary amount of information about them. I would ask Pinkie if I could use her little secret lair she has that we found not too long ago, but I know pinkie and her secrets; she likes to keep them. This is my job alone and I don’t need another pony’s help.

So now… I just have to start. I’ll take this diary with me to use it to write down notes as well as a recorder if I need it. So here goes nothing diary, guess I’ll just go into town and see who or what I find. This will be a fun experience, I don’t get enough time to talk with all the nice ponies of Ponyville...