Earth to Equestria

by UnickyXChroma

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Lyra, Princess Luna, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 34433

Callum Jamison, a 18 year old clopper from middle america, is thrust into Equestria to study politics. Between his love for Lyra, his libidinous friend Berry Blast, and the strange blue voice in his head, he tends to get a little side tracked.

Callum Jamison an young adult clopper gets cast into the world of his dreams by Princess Celestia. Hastily taken the title of "Ambassador" with no real knowledge of this job, he's got little room to figure it out. Meanwhile, Lyra Heartstrings falls for him and a lascivious mare named Berry Blast drags him into a lifestyle of debauchery. Can't be in love and fuck all the mares you want, now can you?

This story has undergone a lot of development to get where it is now. This chapter had been rewrote, then eventually reimagined (to improve the pacing). All I can say is that I'm proud of this one.

Here is the glorious (oldish) title art. I like this one a lot, but honestly there's a lot more I want to do with the title art. So it shall be redone and digitized.

Published 2016-05-30 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-06-16 05:05:34 UTC

Chapter 2 : Risque Business

Chapter 2 : Risque Business

“Callum I’ve left you a few books to help you catch up on Equestrian policies.”

Celestia’s voice reverberating through my ears was enough to wake me from my sleep. The sunlight was focused through columns accrossed my body. I looked to my right and noticed about 3 intimidating stacks of books. I sat up on the mattress and unleashed a mighty yawn which woke Twilight in the process. She yawned and stretched before fully acknowledging the bookish skyscrapers. She let out an enthusiastic squeal, which made Spike jump out from his bed with a holler and landing with a poof. He scratched his head at the lack of inherent danger and gave me and Twilight a confused look.

“Uhh, what’s going on here?”

“Did Hearth’s Warming come early this year?!”

“Unfortunately not, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do on politics if I want to keep this job for very long.” I said taking a look at all of the books.

“That reminds me, we’ll be going to check out your new office today.”

“Sounds cool.”

I went into my bag to grab my shiny new camera, which I honestly should have been using yesterday, and loaded the prepackaged batteries into the contraption. Twilight gave a look of surprise when she saw it.

“Wow! you have a camera!?”

“Yep, my mom got me this camera before I left.”

“That was certainly nice of her.”

“Are they expensive here?”

“Yeah, they cost 5,000 bits a piece on it’s own and that’s not even including the film!”

“That sounds like a lot.”

I guess digital camera’s aren’t a thing with equestrian technology. Twilight reached up to a large bag of coins on her desk. It didn’t look like there were anymore than maybe a few hundred bits in there but maybe I was wrong.

“This is all of my money. ”

“How much is in there?”

“572 bits.” she said putting the bag back on top the bookcase with her magic.

“Okay, that puts things into perspective.”

Twilight’s stomach growled giving me a hint at what was coming up.

“We should probably eat before we get going.”

I threw the camera’s string around my neck.Twilight walked down the stairs followed by me and Spike. When I came down the stairs Twilight had already prepared 3 sandwiches. My stomach roared as the thought of food went through my mind. She passed me the freshly prepared sandwich and without any hesitation I chomped down on it. A insipid leafy taste filled my mouth and that’s when I realized that the sandwich was made of daisies. When I got to the flower part, I found that it clearly wasn’t something meant for my taste buds as my face contorted in disgust.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing against your cooking, it’s just that flowers aren’t really a human thing.”

“But Celestia told me that you guys were omnivores!”

“We are, but humans tend to be kind of picky when it comes to vegetation. Sorry, I should have made that more clear. ”

“It’s fine, I was planning to show you around a few shops along the way. Anyways, c’mon let’s go.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

We left the library to continue my tour of Ponyville. We exchanged farewells with Spike who would be the one to take care of the place while we were gone. Back we were on the streets of Ponyville headed to the town square. The place was bustling with ponies and business. Of course it wouldn’t be me in public without getting stared down for the fact that I was an alien. It was made even worse for the fact that I had an extremely expensive object around my neck. There wasn’t much to capture and I’m sure most ponies weren’t really comfortable getting their pictures taken. A few of the ponies I remembered from the party seemed a lot more comfortable around me. We visited plenty vendors and I got to meet plenty of ponies most of which were fairly professional as far as attitude goes. We bought a few veggies and some fruit that would satisfy my hunger but other than that nothing really notable happened as we swept through the town square until we had reached the last stand.

It was a blueberry stand ran by an earth pony mare who had her head rested on her left hoof and her right laid accrossed the counter. She looked like she didn’t have a worry in the world, which was strange considering that she didn’t have any customers. Her mane was a swirled mix of dark blue and deep violet that came down in 4 curls in the front with one sticking up in the back and 4 more coming down. Her fur was sky blue to contrast with the darker colors on her mane. Her rich blue eyes were mesmerizing, there was just something so inviting about them. I wasn’t quite drooling but she definitely didn’t disappoint. She gave me a quick seductive “I caught you” kind of look that was evident that she was on to something. I caught myself looking too nervous and forcefully straightened my stature.

“Hello Twi, who might this be?”

Her voice was kind of raspy like Rainbow’s but slightly higher in pitch.

“Hello Berry Blast, this Callum Jamison, he is the Earth’s foreign ambassador.”

“Nice to meet you Cal J. You can just call me Berry. ”

“It’s nice to meet you Miss Berry.”

She gave me a slightly annoyed look, I’m guessing she doesn’t like formalities. I held my hand out to shake her hoof just like I had done with the other salesponies. She lazily lifted her right hoof and placed in into my palm. She didn’t put much into the handshake. Surprisingly, she slid me a business card from under the counter. This was definitely a step above in professionalism compared to all the other business ponies I’ve met. I took a look at the front of the card it had the words “turn it around” written quite nicely blue crayon. So it wasn’t a business card... She looked at me and made a quick flipping gesture with her right hoof and I turned the card around to see what she really wanted me to see. It read “Come to my house at 12 pm I have something special for you.” needless to say by the look on my face it spelled nothing but suspicion and a tiny little bit of arousal. I had a feeling I knew what this was about, but I had to know for sure.

“Excuse me Twilight, do you mind if I talk to Berry about some personal matters for a moment.”

“Sure, I’ll be right by the fountain when you’re ready to go.”

Twilight walked over to the fountain as promised. When Berry saw that Twilight was away She threw a few berries from large bag in her mouth and rolled her tongue around them. She then gave me the same sexy look that made me start to realize where this was going. Fortunately my waist was below the counter and nopony else was nearby. She had a wide devilish smile which made my face stand on the fine line of concerned and sheepish which made it hard to distinguish the two. Berry beckoned me to come closer. I bent over towards her and she gently tucked a blueberry between my lips which I gladly accepted. I laid my left arm on the stand in a similar fashion that she did her right and looked right into her eyes. We were like the opposite sides of a magnet the way we stuck to each other.

“Alright, what is this about?” I held the back end of the business card towards her.

“I saw how you excited you got when Pie was on you last night.” she said getting closer to my ear “you liked it didn’t you?”

“N-no, I mean, well..” I spilled out nervously trying to force that embarrassing memory out of my head. I quickly regained my composure and said.“Everypony saw how I reacted to Pinkie, what’s your point?”

“Look, do you want to get laid or not?”

It was now or never at this moment. The question rang through my mind for what seemed like an eternity over just a few crucial seconds. I’ve never had sex before and this mare was offering. Why? who knows? Part of me doesn’t want to be known for unadulterated adultery, but this was a chance I just couldn’t pass up.

“I’m down, but you won’t tell anypony, will you?”

“My lips are sealed, sugar.”

“Great, I’ll see you then.”

She pecked my cheek, crammed another blueberry between my lips and winked at me. I gave her a wave goodbye. I caught up with Twilight and we continued the tour.

“I’m so glad to see that you’re making friends already.”

“I wouldn’t say friends exactly.”

“Really? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I think we just need to get to know each other more.”

We approached the Mayor’s office and right next to it was a simple white building with a sign that read “Foreign Affairs”. It had a few windows on the front with blinds and darkness on the other side.

“This is your office, where you’ll be handling the problems other humans have with the law in Equestria. Other humans won’t be coming here for about a week or two so we’ll need to make sure you’re prepared.”

I nodded, opened the door and turned on the lights to see what my new building had in store for me. There were potted plants in the far corners of the room. On the right hand side was my desk with my swiveling chair behind it. Filing cabinets and book shelves lined the back wall. There were 20 chairs lined up in 5 by 4 fashion. Simple but effective I suppose. I figure I’d hang a few posters around here to liven things up once I get the money the posters.

“It could use a little something extra, but overall I like it.”

“I’m glad you like it. For the amount of time we had to make this building it was hard work. Even construction workers from Canterlot came to help us.”

“I’d imagine so a few days isn’t much time to build an office.” I said as we exited the building. “So what’s next?”

“We were supposed to go Apple farm next but the Apple’s went out of town to see family. So next stop is my friend Fluttershy’s house which is out by the Everfree Forest.”

“Well, there’s no time like the present.”

It looked like it was about midday as we traveled all the way over towards the Everfree Forest. It was definitely a lot more dark and foreboding than the show made it look. blankets of densely connected trees and greenery shrouded the area with darkness that nearly hid the vicious predators of the forest. You could see the eyes of timber wolves as well as other dangerous creatures peeking at you out from of the shadows. I took a few pictures of the forest, for as terrifying as it looked to be in it was still quite beautiful. Luckily, that’s not where we were headed as we looped a little around the side of the ominous grassy grotto to the dainty residency of a bashful pegasus which lie ahead of us.

“This is our final stop for now and home of my dear friend Fluttershy, she’s a little timid so be gentle around her.”

“Got it.”

She walked up and knocked on the door a few times. She held her ear up to the door so she could potentially hear the soft-spoken resident.

“Hello? Is anypony there?”

“Nopony is here, please come back later.” said an almost inaudible voice.

“Fluttershy! Come on, he’s not going to hurt you.”

I heard her whimper followed by the sound of hoofs hitting the floor at an accelerated rate. Twilight pushed the door open and walked in, I followed closely behind her. I took careful steps to reduce as much sound as possible but her creaky wood floors didn’t make it very easy. The search didn’t last very long as her whimpering and chattering teeth revealed her location. Of course, she was hiding behind a chair in the corner of the room. I stayed far from that chair as possible so that I didn’t scare her off while Twilight went over there to calm her down. It sounded like they were whispering to each other before she finally got from behind the couch trembling at a absurd rate.

She was absolutely gorgeous from her tall slender body and round plump ass. Her face was beautiful, eyes especially, and her long flowing pink mane only managed to amplify her cuteness factor exponentially. I couldn’t help but look in awe while my penis covetously reached for her. She saw my glowing face and looked down at my desperate erection in horror with cheeks growing ruby red. She looked continuously between the two with her teeth between her bottom lip. I looked over to Twilight and saw that she was also blushing very hard. I eventually caught up with reality, what seemed like an hour really turned out to be no longer than 30 seconds. I finally decided to break the frigid ice forming between us.

“Well umm, my name is Callum Jamison and I’m here representing Earth here in Equestria. It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Fluttershy.”

She remained silent still concerned about my erection. I held my hand out for a hoofshake that hopefully wouldn’t be denied. She was rather reluctant to put it in my hand until she met Twilight’s calming gaze. She slowly lifted her hoof from the ground and into my hand albeit shaking like a jackhammer. I shook her hoof then loosed my grip so that she could have her hoof back. She looked back at my erection which still hadn’t calmed down. I really couldn’t help it, she was just so beautiful. She leaned over and whispered something to Twilight. All I could make out was the word “that” being emphasized while she shuddered. That was alone was enough to know exactly what the low-key conversation was about.

“Well I guess we should get going then. I’m sorry to have come at such a horrible time.” Twilight said with a fake “it’s cool but it’s really not cool” laugh. “Bye Fluttershy!” she said dragging me by the arm with her magic. She finally let go when she was sure I was going her way.

We set off for the library after that extremely awkward confrontation. I was still feeling a little uncomfortable about the situation. I really wish I wasn’t so easily aroused, it’s done nothing but embarrass me and cause trouble throughout the entire tour. I can’t say I wasn’t expecting my overexcited penis to get me in trouble eventually. When we past a park bench on our way back to Ponyville, Twilight stopped in her tracks and I did to quickly after. I knew what this was about, while I didn’t want to discuss it, there was no way I could dance around this one. She was going to get some answers no matter what and I had no power in stopping that.

“I guess I’ve got some explaining to do.” I said walking over to the empty park bench and sitting down.

“Yeah, you do.” She said angrily. ”What in Tartarus was that about?! She was horrified!”

“It was a perfectly natural reaction to a very beautiful mare. Look, I apologize for scaring her, but I just can’t control myself sometimes.”

“Perfectly natural?! You’re two completely different species!”

“Your definition of ‘natural’ is completely narrow-minded.”

“Narrow-minded?! How am I the pony who is being narrow-minded? You’re the pony who cared more about your ‘natural’ reaction than Fluttershy’s feelings!”

“How the fuck was I supposed to control that? And besides ‘natural’ refers to anything occurring in nature, not your stupid standards!” I snarled.The memories of rejection from my childhood flooded my mind and fueled my emotions. I spent a majority of my life rejected as a result of being entangled a web of fabricated lies contrived by the mind of some delinquent. After watching that show for the first time and enjoying it, I tried to make myself as open-minded as I possibly can so that maybe, just maybe, I’d meet someone I liked regardless of how weird they are and I did. That’s how I met my three best friends : Audrey, Jeff and Harley. I’ve been through a lot get to this point and here I am in Equestria and one of the very ponies who taught me kindness was rejecting me too. I couldn’t see anything, anger was clouding my vision. “Maybe if you weren’t a fucking imbecile dictated by whatever misconceptions that were shoved down your throat then maybe you’d see that!”

Everything stopped. Time felt as if it was at a standstill and recollection finally made me realize the mistake I’ve made. Now I had really fucking done it. Suddenly stricken with grief and hopelessness my mind scrambled to figure out what to do.

I-I can fix it.
N-No!This is all a just big mistake.
…
I-I’m so fucking stupid!
I just ruined everything!
…
I would take back every single word I said.
Just, please let me start over.
…
Maybe I should just crawl back into the corner I came from.
Maybe, I deserved to be alone.
…
Well it couldn’t get much worse than this at least.
I fucked up and that’s all there is to it.

All of those thoughts went through my head over the course of a second. My vision cleared and Twilight had tears in her eyes. I could see all of her the emotions though her eyes there was sorrow, but oddly enough there was a feeling of failure in her eyes. She had started crying and ran down to Ponyville. “Wait!” I called out to her but she didn’t listen and kept running. There was no way I was going to catch up to her and there was no way in hell I was getting through Ponyville alive. I got up and walked out to a hill in the distance somber as one can be. I took a deep breath as I looked at down at the whole world. I must have stood there for 10 minutes, just thinking about what will happen next and if this was really the end. Maybe it’d be a good idea to tell the princess.

“Princess Celestia.” I said focusing my thoughts to the princess.

“Yes Callum?”

“I really messed up.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, me and Twilight got into a really bad argument and I...” I said swallowing my woes. “I said something I shouldn’t have and I am really sorry.”

“I’ll forgive you.”

“You will?”

“On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“I want you to go back and apologize to Twilight, I’ll send her a letter to let her know that you’re coming.”

“Princess.”

“Yes?”

“I promise... I promise I will make it right..”

“Good, now go and don’t keep her waiting.”

I walked back to town and honestly, I was still worried. The whole town saw that Twilight was crying and I wasn’t there, so there’s only one possible assumption: I’m the culprit. However when I reached the town’s entrance there was something amiss. I wasn’t on the ground battered and beaten as much as I deserved it. Twilight was standing by the gate seeming perfectly fine again. I walked up to her and bent down to look at her from eye level. “Twilight, I’m so sorry for what I said back there. I really hope you can forgive me.”

“I can.” She said “on one condition.”

“Apologize to Fluttershy?”

“Yep.”

We walked all the way back by the Everfree Forest and by time we got there it was around evening time. I knocked on Fluttershy’s door this time. Fluttershy answered the door and upon seeing me turned a deep shade of crimson and flinched but gave up on running when she noticed Twilight.

“Fluttershy, I’m really sorry about what happened earlier today. Just know that you never have to do ‘that’ with me ever. Just don’t even think about ‘that’ with me.”

She seemed to go back to a relatively stable state. It was a huge sign of relief. Twilight was happy and I could finally breath fresh air again. Shame had killed my erection for Fluttershy as beautiful as she is, I can’t forget what happened today.

“It’s okay Mister Callum, I forgive you.”

She actually smiled at me for once and I couldn’t help but return the favor. Maybe things wouldn’t be so hard after all.

“Thank you Fluttershy. Anyways it’s getting late and it was really nice meeting you today, have a great night.” I concluded while walking backwards.

“Bye.”

She waved her hoof at us goodbye. We both waved back at her as Fluttershy’s cottage disappeared into the distance. Fluttershy’s door closed without a sound. I just remembered, I have one more wound to mend.

“Hey Twilight.” I said to get her attention. With her attention focused on me I continued “I didn’t really mean exactly what I said back there, honestly...” this invoked more curiosity from her “You kind remind me of my friend Jeff. He’s really smart just like you.”

“Thanks, it means a lot to hear you say that.”

“By the way, I’m curious about how you feel about the whole ‘natural reaction’ thing.”

“I just... don’t know. It’s just so strange to me. I can’t really give you an honest answer, sorry.”

“I understand.” I said which surprised Twilight.

“You do? But isn’t that why you were mad?

“Not exactly, it’s complicated.”

Surprisingly, she seemed content with that answer I guess she didn’t want to bring up any more negative feelings.We kept walking through the grass, as if the road didn’t matter to us anymore. Dusk was upon us when the sun’s final ray ceased to shine. Up above was a starry sky, clear and beautiful. I had the feeling that there was a star in the sky shining just for me. A star glistening and gleaming waiting for me to reach up and grab it one day.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

We had finally entered the library stretching ourselves out a really long day. Spike didn’t look so happy to see me.

“Why’d you bring this guy back here, he’s seriously bad news!” Spike said, Twilight quickly cut off his next sentence before it could begin. “Spike!”

“Nope, he’s right I am bad news.” I said with confidence, causing much confusion. “But much like bad news, I’m not going anywhere!”

“But Twilight-” Spike spat before getting interrupted by Twilight. “He’s right, he’s going to stay here for as long as he wants.”

Spike gave a frustrated but defeated sigh. Yeah, I definitely get why he’s angry but he’s going to learn to live with me whether he likes it or not. I walked up stairs to hit the books. It was like I was in school again, except that I was going to have the best teacher a guy could ask for.

“Hey Twilight, do you want to tackle these books together.”

“Would I?!”

However I had plans of studying a little later than usual. We had skimmed through a few books on Equestrian politics that became much easier to understand with Twilight helping out. Her help didn’t last long unfortunately as she eventually went to bed. I did a little bit of extra studying paying special attention to the clock,11:30 it said. I figured that it wouldn’t be bad to arrive a little earlier than was planned. I walked over towards the door and saw there was a piece of parchment between the door, I slid it out and walked right out the door. I heard the sound of something breaking and went back to examine the door. Somepony had put a piece of lead between the door hinges, clever but I didn’t really care. It wouldn’t be particularly hard to cover the fact that I had left tonight. I just wrote on some excess paper that I had went to get fresh air so that if somepony woke up like let’s say “the dragon who totally isn’t in it to find whatever dirt on me that he can,” then I’d be fine.

I walked down the silent road of a sleepy Ponyville. All that shined on those roads was the moon and the stars. The streets were completely vacant, no pony would see me walking to her house in the middle of the night and nopony would know anything. Of course, the only house with lights on and blueberry bushes in the yard was where I was headed. I knocked on the door a few times with my palm, surely the distinctive sound of the knock would help her recognize that it was me. The handle turned and the door slowly opened.

Remember when I said I wasn’t quite drooling? Yeah, now I am. She was wearing a very simple but sexy purple nightgown that crossed her chest creating a V shape with a long skirt that was only held up by a sash. It was tied together like a ribbon atop a gift box. Now that I finally got to see her figure, I was excited for what would come next. She then gave me the bedroom eyes unlike no other, the way her eyebrows came down to form that expression was so perfect to the point where I’d expect it to be her cutie mark. Her smile was warm and inviting which helped tie it all together much like the sash in her ensemble. It was absolutely mesmerizing, mischievous and most of all very sexy.

“Come in, sugar.” she said beckoning me to the door. It was as if I was in a trance. I took a seat and attempted to shake the hypnosis out of my head. She slid me a glass of tea which I accepted. I sipped the tea periodically, assuming it might have been some sort of aphrodisiac I wouldn’t want to get too excited yet. I had questions and I wanted answers.

“Alright, let’s start with the obvious, why of all ponies did you choose me? Couldn’t you have just grabbed any old stallion off of the street?”

“You’re starting to sound like somepony who doesn’t want to get laid. Look Cal, I just thought that since we had a new visitor I’d show him a good time. Besides, you definitely don’t seem like the type of pony who gets laid a lot.”

I didn’t even have to say anything to get the message accrossed. My face had spelled out everything.

“That’s alright because I’m going to change that.”

Any questions left in my mind were destroyed, just like the thought of coming out of this house the same man I was before. I finished my tea and Berry Blast had gotten up and walked towards me, her movements were like a fox, she advanced with sly but graceful strides wearing the same look she greeted at the door me with. She got close and instinctively I stood and backed up until I hit an obstacle which ended up being the wall. The blue earth pony stood on her hind legs and pinned me to wall with her powerful chest. Her face met mine and like the opposite sides of a magnet. We were locked. It was a deep sloppy kiss, it was lustful and hungry, the opposite of romantic. Her breath was reminiscent of the tea we drank beforehand and her tongue was rough and powerful which made things interesting. It turned from a tongue tango into a hunt between a lion and a deer. There was enough energy and passion in the air to power an entire city. I had been extremely excited at this point and I could feel my member throbbing with similar enthusiasm.

“Someone is certainly excited.” she panted. I undid her ribbons and opened the wrapping so I could receive my welcoming gift. I undid my pants and unsheathed my meat rod. She got off of me, turned around and bent over presenting me with a ample ass and wanting twat. I inserted my penis and began thrusting. My thrust were wild and sporadic like an animal. I cared about was getting in and out. I’ve seen enough porn to know that her moans were completely fake but it still excited me. I continued pounding her ass and every time she said something I speed up immensely. The pleasure being generated from her snatch was overwhelming to the point where I was grunting. Every time my waist collided with her large blue butt it made a satisfying “thwop” sound that became music to my ears. My pace increased for the final time as I felt the impending orgasm but I didn’t want it to stop. Before I knew what had happened, I was limp and there was cum leaking from her open pussy. Thankfully DNA doesn’t mix.

She was annoyed. “That was horrible, you barely lasted 3 minutes. C’mon upstairs, you’re not leaving until I cum.”

“Fine by me.” I said with a grin.

She was up there long before me and was already laid out on her side with her vagina sandwiched between her ass cheeks. She patted her ass with her hoof making a clop sound. She didn’t have to tell me twice, I was already infiltrating the two large cushiony barriers with my erection. It was tight with her butt in the equation but it also felt much better. I decided that it might be a good idea to pace myself a bit. I started steadily rocking back and forth inside of her vagina at a moderate pace and it certainly felt much better. I managed to get a few moans from her, which sent me into overdrive. The “thwops” turned into loud “thwaps” which were even better. The pressure from her plump ass was starting to get to me and I started moaning. I went back to a slower pace in a vain attempt to delay the inevitable. I quickly sped back up as pleasure and adrenaline took over and I came inside of her vagina again filling her even more. Despite my climax, I kept pounding away pushing the excess seed out. Just before my dick went flaccid one final thrust sent her into an orgasm. Her cry of pleasure wasn’t too loud, fortunately enough, I wouldn’t want the neighbors waking up. Her juices were all over my crotch and I laid down on my back in exhaustion.

“Next time, you’re going to lick my pussy before you get any.”

“There’s going to be a next time? I’ll even lick the bottom of your hooves too if you want.”

“I’m not into that, besides you really need to improve. If I only buck you once, how are you going to learn anything? Especially with that lackluster performance. You’ll probably never pleasure a mare again in your life and I can’t let that happen.”

“What exactly was wrong with my performance?”

“Where do I even begin sugar? The kissing was terrible, it was like you didn’t even fight back. You just let my tongue chase yours around your own mouth. The first round was a travesty you had no rhythm, no pace, and no consistency which basically felt like nothing. Second round was a step in the right direction but you gotta work on your thrust, it’s so sloppy, there was no form or stability, It was like a I was bucking a monkey.”

“That was certainly insightful, albeit little rude. ”

“I’m just being honest with you Cal, because that’s what friends do.” she said. “Do you know what else friends do?”

“What?”

“Clean the faustforsaken floor when they get cum everywhere.”

We both laughed for a while but she was serious. I’m glad to call Berry a friend, especially after what happened tonight. It was easily one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. I will certainly be looking forward to coming back here and seeing Berry again. I didn’t really mind mopping the floor after the treat I had the pleasure of receiving. When I was done and the floor was sparkly clean I figured it’d be a good idea to get back to the library. It would have been nice to spend the night but I’d definitely make Twilight suspicious of my activities. We exchanged farewells and I set my sights for the library. I was approximately 3 houses away before a small purple annoyance jumped out at me and I rolled my eyes.

“Aha! I caught you!”

“Caught me what?”

“You left the library in the middle of the night!”

“Yeah to get some fresh air. Didn’t you read the note?”

“I saw you going into Berry Blast’s house.”

“Yeah and?”

“Well, I don’t know--but you were probably doing bad stuff!”

Now that I think of it, I don’t really care that much about telling her. He’d probably tell Twilight anyways, and I’d end up having to explain it to her. Honestly, the guy was barely a foot and a half tall and a child so he wasn’t exactly a threat in anyway shape or form.

“Tell Twilight if you want, saves me breath.”

He had nothing, he just gave me a stern look and waddled home in bitter defeat. It was kind of funny in a cute way. I’m sure he’ll warm up to me eventually. I felt something bulging out of my pocket and it was a bag of blueberries with a note on it. The note said “It may not have been the best sex, but it was still fun. Here’s a little something for no reason. Love Berry.” I stepped into the library and hopped into my bed. Today was certainly interesting. I’d love to hang out with Berry in a non sexual situation, she just seems fun to be around. Maybe I’ll have talk to Lyra sometime she seems like a nice girl. Maybe I’ll try and spend time with Fluttershy, Rarity or Twilight tomorrow, that sounds like a fun time. Hell, I’ve got a few weeks to kill before I have to start working. Why not make them a little more interesting?

Author's Note

Author’s Note

What is this mysterious blue text? What does it mean? Will it ever appear again? Discuss! If you want. This chapter feels like an improvement from the last chapter, personally, I feel like I did a much better job on this chapter. A big reason why the last chapter was so lackluster is because I just wanted to get it out, I couldn’t stand my own perfectionism and I just do something needed to get something out there. It feels like a goddamn achievement to have gone so far as to get past the second chapter. I actually didn’t have enough time to draw the placeholder title art. I’m going to be stuck in a place with no internet miles away from any form internet access for a few days. Anyways sorry for the wait,I meant to get this out yesterday but life happened.

As always, I encourage you to leave your comments below. See you next chapter.

Chapter 3 : Just Shy of a Date

Chapter 3 : Just Shy of a Date (Warning : There will be lots of blue text so watch out, some themes may be harder to see than others.)

“Thank you for helping me out dear.” Rarity said levitating 15 thick golden coins into my hand. My pockets fattened as I slid the bits into them. I tried to tell her before that she didn’t have to pay me but she absolutely insisted on doing so. Truth is, it was a treat to help her with light work during afternoon. It was something to do during the day and it meant spending time with Rarity. It was easy work, stuff like cutting fabrics into sizable pieces, retrieving items she needs and cleaning up around the place.

“Thank you Miss Rarity.”

“You’re certainly welcome dear.” She said with a chuckle that quickly died down. “Callum, the formalities are certainly charming, but there’s no need, really. We’re friends, so just call me Rarity.”

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind next time. See you tomorrow Mis--I mean--Rarity, eh he.”

“Farewell dear.”

I showed myself out of her establishment. I haven’t seen Fluttershy since that incident a few days ago. I figured it’d be a good idea to check in on her again, I haven’t gotten the chance to really meet her since my dick ruined it. Last I knew the door was locked and no one except Angel would answer and upon seeing my face, he’d quickly slam the door on me. I walked my way--no more than a half a mile--down to the sylvan cottage. I knocked a few times and unsurprisingly there he was again ready to slam the door on my face. I beat him to the punch and turned before he reached his inevitable judgement. I heard the door slam behind me as made distance between us.

Since that was out of the question, there was a certain somepony I wanted to catch outside of her seemingly arbitrary work schedule. Another half of a mile later and I found myself in front of the house of my azure acquaintance. After a few distinct knocks, I heard her hoofsteps rhythmically thumping against her wooden floors. A familiar face greeted me as the door opened.

“Hey Cal, what’s up?”

“Not much to be completely honest. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out at Sugarcube Corner.”

“A date, huh…”

The way she said those words sounded particularly disinterested. It was the level of disinterest you’d hear from penny pinching father being pestered into going to DisneyLand. It was rather odd to me that she immediately assumed it was a date, when we’ve only been friends for a few days.

“I guess you could call it that, but it’s more-or-less platonic really.”

“Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do anyways.”

We made our way down to Sugarcube Corner, which was reopening to become more of a dine-in place rather than the sort of pick-up cake shop and party junction it normally functioned as. I don’t know why this decision was made, but whatever the reason, I’m curious to see what they had on the menu. It still mostly resembled its original state but it had a lot more tables this time around. The confectionary was pretty much packed but most of the diners were dispersed almost evenly amongst the tables eagerly awaiting their food. The air was fresh with the aroma of warm cupcakes. I didn’t know Miss Cake too well beyond the occasional appearances of her fictional counterpart, but it wasn’t too surprising to see her behind the counter. She greeted me with a smile as I approached the counter to order.

“Hello Callum and Berry, how are you two today?”

“Not bad.”

“Pretty good.”

“That’s good to hear, what would you two like today?”

I turned my focus towards the menu, which had pretty much what you’d expect an ex-full time sweets shop to have, everything ranging from cakes to cookies and even some shakes. I wasn't in the mood for a sugar rush or spending all my money at that.

“I’ll just have a chocolate shake.”

“Give me a strawberry shake with 2 slices of chocolate cake.”

“That'll be thirty bits.”

Berry reached for her bit bag but I held my hand up in protest. I reached into my pockets and stripped them of every coin Rarity had given me. My mom always said “A good host does the most.”

“Thank you dearies. Now take a seat, your food will be with you shortly.”

Berry found an empty table around the bottom left corner of the restaurant and we took our seats. She looked to the left and moved her neck as if she had noticed something. I looked back to see what she was looking at and saw the mare who was carrying our food. The blue-maned mare managed to catch her attention making her rush over here excitedly. When she placed our food onto the table, I managed to catch a good look at her.

The mare was a striking 9-out-of-10. She look about as young as Berry and her cheeks and chin were more defined. Her face was like Rarity’s, which unlike most mares faces, came down like a V shape instead of being rounder and fatter. Her eyes were a rich shade of umber, which compliment her clean, curly, caramel-colored mane and light tan fur. Her mane’s curls came out forward on top and curled into themselves down her neck. Her uniform consisted of a simple pink and white dress with a black bowtie. Her glorious assets where beyond tantalizing, but somehow I managed to keep things as together possible.

“Hi Berry, is this that special friend you’ve been going on about?”

“Yep, that’s him.”

“Well, my name is Caramel Sweet and you go by ‘Callum’ from what I hear, right?”

Her voice was young and vibrant, it had a certain kind of twang to it that gave off sassy vibes. It kind of reminded me of a country accent without the peculiar pronunciations. It’s not particularly surprising that she’s heard my name before, but it terrifies me to imagine of what sort of rumors could surround it already.

“Yeah, but most of my friends call me ‘Cal’” I confirmed. “Say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around before.”

“That’s because I just moved here from Manehattan. You’ve been quite the stir lately and after Berry told me what you two have been up to, well I just had to come around.”

She looked around for a moment and then turned her attention back to us. I took a quick look at towards where she was looking and saw a quick glimpse before turning my head back. The old baby blue mare was making her rotations around the store.

“You should probably get back to work before Miss Cake catches you.”

“Yeah, it was nice meeting you Cal. I’ll see you guys later.”

We gave our farewells and she scampered off hurriedly. Berry looked around to see if anypony was watching. Whatever she was about to say, she seemed rather excited to talk about it, which scares me especially after the conversation we just had. She put her forelegs forward on the table leaning into the middle. I instinctively leaned onto the table as well. Before I got comfortable, looked around to see if anypony was watching us. decent number of eyes met my gaze, most of which turned away. After I had warded off most of the excess attention, I focused back on the ribald rouser in front of me.

“I was gonna ask you this at midnight, but since we’re already here I might as well ask you now.”

“What is it?”

“Do you got anypony on your mind sugar?”

Well, this was definitely not the time or place to be asking questions like that. Though now that she mentioned it, there are plenty of mares on my mind. I can’t help but get excited thinking about it.

“Yeah, a few.”

“Oh, wow a few already, huh? You’re wild Cal.” she said. “Go on, tell.”

“Rarity, Pin-” Just I was about to speak her name, the esoteric pink pony rolled by in a quartet of white and yellow striped roller blades holding plates on her mane and tail. It was an amazing spectacle, only outdone by the lack of attention it attracted. When I turned my attention away from her I heard the sound of a party blower. It seemed like she didn’t hear anything we said or decided to ignore it, either way, I’m happy with the result. When she rolled away Berry’s mouth flattened and her eyes widened as they darted left to right.

“I could help you get laid with all of them if you want.” she said transitioning into a mumble “even Pinks.”

“How would you do that?”

“Easy, it’s heat season. All you have to do is sweet talk them when they’re feeling steamy and they’ll fall right into your hooves. Trust me, no one knows sweet talkin’ like I do sugar.”

Another challenge presents itself and I don’t know what to do. I love sex as much as the next guy but abusing the natural cycle just doesn’t seem okay to me. An aura of discomfort radiated from my body and I broke eye contact. When my focus returned, I saw a fire in Berry’s eyes. Whatever she was going to say next was dead serious.

“Cal, look at me.” she said. “Sex. Isn’t. Sacred. It’s just a good time between two ponies, nothing more, nothing less. ”

“That’s not what I was worried about.”

“What’s bothering you sugar?”

“The whole idea of exploiting nature...it just rubs me the wrong way.”

“Being in heat sucks, and any sane mare would agree with me. It’s like having your worst day ever for 3 weeks straight praying to Faust that a stallion stiffie would penetrate your aching womb.”

Okay, that was a little too detailed but, she makes a good point. Not that it’d be a good idea to argue, especially on a topic she’s not only sensitive about, but knowledgeable about as well. It’s something I have to trust on because she’s my friend. Besides, I won’t be too hard to keep things on the down low, it doesn’t seem like anypony here is particularly untrustworthy. Pinkie pie is the only pony that worries me. She’s not only extremely outgoing, but she’s also not the best at holding secrets.

“Can’t argue with that.”

“You’re goddamn right.”

I noticed my shake had gone untouched over the past 10 minutes, which was soon to be fixed. I wrapped my lips around the straw and siphoned the chocolate nectar. The token Sugarcube Corner sweetness alongside the rich and creamy chocolate was amplified tenfold by the whipped cream. The cold continuous stream of sweet fluid was making my tastebuds dance feverishly in utmost euphoria. The rapid depletion of the milkshake grinded to a halt, and a breeze of disappointment followed in its wake.

“Well, I gotta go to work sugar, these Blueberries won’t sell themselves. I’ll see you at midnight.”

“I’ll see you then.”

She got up from her seat and trotted out the door. I maneuvered my way out of the crowd of ponies and walked out of the small but simple door. I made my way down to the park, which of course wasn't too far from ponyville. The gentle wind brushed against my dark skin and sun shone brightly on the clear cerulean sky. The dirt roads paved a clear route throughout the park. My destination was upon me, as I finally caught the pony I was looking for.

The minty-maned mare was looking thoughtlessly into the sea of nothingness alone. She appeared to be empty handed apart from the set of saddlebags next to the bench. Her attention broken was by my unexpected arrival. She greeted me with that smile that I just love seeing. Simple, subtle enough not to be noticed by a crowd, but noticeable if you were paying special attention. Everyday that she saw me in her sizable audience she’d give me that very smile. She tilted her head towards me and kicking her hooves. It was an invitation I couldn’t deny.

“Taking the day off I see?”

“Yeah, I gotta give the horn a rest. The more complicated songs can really take a toll on you.”

“I’ll bet, yesterday’s performance was fantastic.”

She chuckled a bit, blushing from flattery and blowing strands of hair from in front of her eye. The way her pride managed to poke through blankets of modesty made my heart quell with joy. She had a warm yellow aura around her that felt inspiring and invoked happiness.

“So what have you been up to.”

“Not a whole lot, just got done hanging out with a friend at the new Sugarcube corner.”

“Who would that be?”

“Berry Blast, she a pretty interesting pony.”

“I don't really know her that well, I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea to meet her sometime.”

I don't know if it'd be a good idea to introduce her to Berry. It's not that she's a bad pony or that they would hate each other by any means. She's too innocent for that salacious pony’s antics. They’re like the sides of 2 different sandwiches. I’d love to eat them both.

“Are those your bags?”

“No, they belong to my friend BonBon. We are getting ready to each lunch together.”

“Where did she go?”

“To my house, I accidentally left mine on the table.”

“How did that happen?” I said with a chuckle.

“I forget stuff all the time, like how I forgot my lyre a few days ago.”

I remember the afternoon after first night with Berry I made a beeline to her bench. I had an idea of where she would be playing and I really wanted to see her. She was trotting her way down to the bench levitating the lyre with her magic.

“She should be back by now...”

“So what's keeping her?”

“Probably those annoying fillies.”

“Fillies?”

“Well they're grown. But they certainly don't act like it.”

She seemed to get irritated just talking about it so I stopped pressing her on topic. She turned to look up at the ocean of air that loomed above us. I looked into the big blue abyss, equestrian skies had these faint strings of rainbow colored light hiding in the blue. It fluctuated like waves on an of beach hitting the shore. There’s always something so calming about getting lost in the great expanse.

I felt Lyra’s mane and fur brush against my face and neck. Her head roosted on my shoulders as she leaned against me. I wrapped my arm around her and held tightly. It was a feeling like no other, a feeling of mindless happiness that couldn't be replicated elsewhere. Time was truly at a standstill. All thoughts, all worries evacuated my mind. This moment was the only thing that mattered to me.

Hoofsteps…
clop. clop. clop.

Faster…
clop, clop, clop.

Closer...
Clop! Clop! Clop!

“Get your dirty bucking hooves off of her!”

I let go of Lyra as if she was made of fire jumping in astonishment. The angry mare’s foreboding look sent a chill down my spine. I was paralyzed with fear at what temperamental mare could and very well would do. She was so irate that you really could see red around her.

“Just because you’ve been hanging out with that slut you think you can start grabbing up on Lyra, huh? HUH?!” She said pacing back and forth angrily. “I’ve had enough of that subpony degenerate and her friends butting into my life!”

“BonBon.”

I couldn't muster up the courage to say anything. Mostly due to the fact that anything I say could result in an immediate ass beating. Lyra was in utter dismay, but she barely managed to mutter something else.

“We were just talking...”

“This was supposed to be OUR day together! WE were supposed to be hanging out! Faust! I can’t believe you!” she retorted which seemed to worry Lyra even more. “AND YOU!” she said looking at me with fury and tears in her eyes. “Are you looking for a beating punk?!”

Her voice was a troublingly explosive mix of anger and sadness. It drew enough sympathy out of me to the point where I really did feel sorry for her, despite how she felt about me and Berry. I got up and slowly backed away from the callous confectionist. She gave me an angry stare which really put a spring into my step. I heard yelling in the distance but I couldn't turn back now, I had already caused enough trouble. As I slowed down I heard ringing in my head before the voice slowly faded into one I was quite accustomed to.

“Callum, go to the library, I have something special for you.”

As if I deserved anything special right now, but it’s not like I had anything better to do. The heavy hand of guilt would punch me in the stomach every time the Lyra crossed my minds. I dragged myself along the streets of Ponyville like an animal on it’s last breath. I was empty. I--Callum Jamison--just destroyed a friendship and the last thing I deserved was sympathy. But the kind ponies of Ponyville gave it anyways, and if there was anything I didn’t understand about ponies it was that. Occasionally, ponies on the streets asked me if anything was wrong which I simply denied. I didn’t feel like telling random ponies, they don’t need to know my problems.

I finally made it to the door of the library where I was greeted by that scaley purple pest. Whatever nonsense he had prepared for me today, I wasn’t interested. This was not the time or the place for his bullshit. Regardless of how I was feeling, he blocked the doorway anyways.

“I’m not in the mood for this.” I said staring him down. “Can you get out from in front of the door?”

“Why should I?”

“Well I guess i’ll just take the easy way around.”

Just as I was going to lift my foot over the tiny reptile, hoofsteps could be heard in the distance. A wave of relief washed over me as the key to salvation was coming. Twilight Sparkle, the only sensible sentient being that lived in that library was here bring rationality back.

“Spike, you know better than this.” the motherly unicorn scolded. “Come in Callum, I have exciting news to tell you.”

He groaned in defeat moving out of the way. I don’t know what his deal was, but he needs to get over it. Finally with him out of the way, I made my way into the library taking a seat on one of the two cushions set up for comfy studying. I had my hands on my lap sitting in a criss-cross position a few feet away from Twilight.

“So, what is this news about.”

“Princess Celestia left you some mail.”

Twilight took the envelope from a table across the room with her magic and slid it in front of me. I quickly unraveled its contents. There was a letter that read…

===================================================================================================================

Dear Callum Jamison,

I've sent you this letter today because I want you to have the check I’ve included and In return, I want you to write me a letter everyday telling me what you've learned that day. It can be about anything you want. I’m curious to learn about your experiences. Remember, if you're having any problems, then talk to me. I truly hope you’re enjoying your time here in Equestria.

Sincerely Princess Celestia.

===================================================================================================================

On the end was a check for 10,000 bits. My mouth widened in awe of the great fortune that laid in my hands. The 4 best words to describe the situation were the very words I spoke.

“Oh. My Fucking. God.”

“What is it?” said the perplexed unicorn in front of me.

I quickly turned the check to twilight which resulted in a very similar response. Spike however, didn’t seem so surprised he must’ve known what it was somehow. Maybe that’s why he stood in front of the door, either way it didn’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

“What in Equestria do you plan on doing with all of that money?!”

“I think I’ll see what I can spruce up with my office first and foremost.” I said getting up. “Anyways, I’m going to get moving. I should be back in about 30 minutes.”

I got up and quickly left the Golden Oak. I didn’t spend a whole lot of time there, but I’d have plenty to spend later. My speed walk turned into a jog and the gap between me and my building closed very quickly. I managed to juke around the pedestrians without sacrificing much speed. With significantly less breath I managed to make it to my future workplace.

I opened the door and that’s when I took note of the first thing I wanted changed : This door needs a lock. I looked around at the walls and thought to myself that we needed posters in here, something to liven the place up. Maybe when the humans come we could set up televisions, cable and things like that but that seems like and overall much bigger project worth likely more than I had on hand. I walked over to my desk and took a seat in my swiveling chair. Maybe I’ll add a few things on the desk, like one of those hula dancers or whatever officials have at office desks. I spun around on my chair a few times before stopping and placing my feet onto the table. Then the door opened.

My attention quickly turned to the visitor. A very shy pony with a pink mane found herself in my domain. Her naturally unintrusive hair seemed to brush against her eye in an adorably dirty sort of sense. However, that’s where the sexy ended. She dragged her way along the carpet giving me what looked like a sympathetic look. Her tail hang as limply and as lifelessly as my penis did. It’s not that she wasn’t innately attractive, the whole thing just seemed rather forced. Not that any of it would have worked anyways because what happened a few days ago. Something smelt fishy about this and couldn't help but feel inquirious.

When she finally made it to my desk she flung her hair back to it’s natural position. She fired back with a much better flirtatious look putting her forehooves on my table while leaning in closer to me. Her confidence seemed to diminish as she began to speak.

“Um, someone as strong and as important as you must make a lot of money.”

“Fluttershy...” I said in a somewhat disapproving manner.

She noticed that I saw right through her act and it crumbled right in front of my eyes. Her mood followed it crashing into the ground as well.

“I’m so sorry mister Callum.”

“Sorry for what? Wait!”

I reached out but she was long gone. I kicked myself out of the chair, sliding over the desk and stumbling over as I hit the floor. I quickly recovered and ran as fast as I could out of the building not bothering to close the doors. The eyes of ponies followed me as I dashed through the streets. I felt my heart pumping, wind on my back and the blood flowing through my body. My eyes squinted as I sprinted around the outskirts of ponyville. Footsteps rhythmically thumping to the vivace tempo, wind screaming as I tore through it.

What’d normally take about 10 minutes took about 4 minutes as I finally reached the steps to Fluttershy’s domain. My running slowed as my heart finally caught up to me. I collapsed onto my hands and knees, finally catching a breath. The pressure from the stony tiles did a number on them forcing me to collapse onto the ground below me. All the running took its toll on me and I leaving me laying there exhausted.

I heard the clopping of her hooves getting louder and louder. I rolled over on my right staring into the cloudless twilight. I saw a phoenix soaring gracefully, it’s fervently burning feathers sailing gently to the ground. The tepid plumes felt rejuvenating to the touch. I felt trickles of energy seeping into me and suddenly there were rivers of passion and ambition flowing through me. I rolled over and clumsily climbed back onto my feet dusting myself off. I opened up the door and stumbled towards the sounds of sorrow. Fluttershy was weeping upstairs on her bed, she scurried into a corner as she noticed me.

“Fluttershy…” I said cautiously walking towards her. “Come on, let’s talk about this.”

She just nodded her head in compliance. I bent down on one knee and wiped a tear from her eye. I helped her up and walked downstairs to the table. I sat on the farthest end towards the door and Fluttershy took a seat across from me.

“I’m so sorry for trying to use you for money Mister Callum.”

“Fluttershy, it’s fine, I forgive you. Now let’s talk this over.”

“Harry was really sick a few days ago, so I went to see what was wrong with him. I didn’t know what it was, so I took him over to Zecora in the Everfree forest.”

“Why were you there for two days?”

“I couldn’t just leave him, what if something happened while I was gone? What if something is happening to him?!”

She began hyperventilating looking desperately around. I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her from shaking. After a while she slowed down to a stable pace.

“Calm down, calm down, everything will be fine.” I said in a soft and quiet voice “What happened next?”

“She told me that it was a huge problem and she couldn’t help him anymore. She said that he’d need to see an advanced medical unicorn or he would die in a few weeks.”

Sorrow soon overcame the innocent young mare. I couldn’t imagine what she must be feeling right now. She loves those animals so much and the thought that she could lose one of them to something she’s absolutely powerless against must be absolutely devastating. Those were really all the key pieces to this relatively simple puzzle. My mom always said “Help those who can’t help themselves.” and I, for one, would not let this happen. Not now, not ever.

“Fluttershy, you’re my friend, you didn’t need to do anything crazy like that. Of course I’ll help you out.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“Oh, thank you!”

As if a dying flame was lit anew, she brightened up like a chinese festival. I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something so rewarding about seeing a smile on someone or somepony’s face. She flung herself into my arms catching me off guard. I fell onto my back landing with a thud and an oof. I will admit, with Fluttershy on top of me the pressure of arousal was great, so great in that it easily overcame the guilt I felt when I freaked her out the first time. The flood gates were breaking, the pressure was too much to be contained. The more I felt the soft fur her back, her silky pink mane on my face and her thighs pressing against my waist, the more the cracks in my mental fortitude began to show. My dick sprang up instantaneously, throbbing like mad. The flood gates were eviscerated and the poor town not too far from it was long since destroyed. Everything happened so fast that my brain was notably slow to realize what had happened and when it happened exactly. I felt the blood rushing into my waist and my face as I stared into her eyes sheepishly. Her eyes narrowed and she pulled her face back a little bit.

“Um…”

“Er…”

My mind was shuffling thoughts and ideas around as I examined the situation. I began to panic as my view grew foggier and foggier. The color blue circulated through my thoughts, which didn’t make any sort of sense until it just happened. Something just clicked and now everything makes a lot more sense to me. Her eyes moved in a very peculiar pattern : first they went up, then down, then to the left hand corner and back at me. The muscles in her eyes seemed relaxed when they focused back to me. I could feel her legs shifting ever so slightly shaking at subsonic speeds. Her face was extremely ripe with lust. The way she looked spoke much louder than any words. She wants sex really badly and that much was obvious to me, but she’s too shy to take it.

A smirk subtle enough to evade the untrained eye, slowly formed across my face. My eyebrows tied everything together like an adequately confident bow atop a coquettish gift box. I brought my nose back up to hers and positioned myself for a kiss, which the rose maned mare readily accepted. I slowly raised the intensity as I went faster and faster. I finally got my tongue into her mouth and wrestled with hers. My tongue deftly maneuvered around hers like a snake in a complicated maze. I began pushing and locking from multiple sides. Our tongue tango soon met an end as I broke the kiss. No need to overdo it, this was more than enough to get her excited.

“I’m sorry, was that too forward of me?”

“N-no not at all, I kind of liked it.” She said with a little smile on her face. “We can do some more, that’s okay with you.”

“Not right now, I think I need to slow down for a bit.”

She let me get up and I moved over to the couch. I filled my lungs with air and released a gust of wind. I never as alive as I did back there. It was felt almost surreal how perfectly everything turned out. I’m not exactly used to intimate situations, in fact I’ve never been in such an intense situation before. It was like instinct to me, I just knew it, I just felt it and I just did it.

Fluttershy came over to take a seat on the couch with me. She seemed a lot more confident than she was before, but she was still diffident. I was calm, knowing she’d be too focused on me to notice the fact that I was paying careful attention to her actions. She had a tendency to look down to the right and then towards me. She kicked her right leg a little bit and dug at the couch a bit with her hoof. She threw her hair and then quickly looked away quickly blushing even harder. Her ears were twitching slightly and her arms started wiggling. Her eyes widened a bit and her face grew unwary. She started clenching the couch with her hooves a lot harder making the sofa squeak with every grasp. She was getting impatient and extremely horny. I waited for her to take the initiative, now that I’ve made her more comfortable, it was only a matter of time before she broke.

And…

Now!

At a moment’s notice, she warily reached over to my leg, shaking at an unfathomable rate. I smiled a little bit, pretending not to pay attention to her advances. When her hoof finally reached its destination, I quickly pulled her over catching her by surprise. I gave her a quick kiss on the lips to calm her down and capture her arousal. Massaging her shoulders a bit, I slowly lowered her onto the arms of the couch. She continued to watch me,as I unzipped my pants with one hand and moved down her chest with the other. Her fur was short enough so that you could feel her equally soft skin underneath. As I moved down from her chest to her waist it got less and less fleecy. I made sure that the journey would be long enough to get my pants down. Admittedly, I detoured a bit making sure I explored every inch of her silky coat. Eventually my hand made it down to her opening of her wet and sticky vagina, which made her yelp. I rubbed my fingers across her outer lips getting a few whimpers out of her.

I removed my hand so I could completely drop my undergarments with one swift tug. Denied once, my penis sprang up in vengeance and right into my hand. I put a knee onto the couch and angled my hungry pleasure stick . She put her arms to her chest like a praying mantis and spread her legs out. I got down on my other knee and held her ass with my left hand. Soon felt the embrace of her tight vaginal walls. They squeezed my cock surprisingly hard which caught me off guard. I winced at the overwhelming influx of pleasure that filled me. I drew back like syringe getting before I injecting myself much faster. Once I found my rhythm, I squeezed her asscheek. It felt almost gelatinous but it got way firmer the more my fingers dug into it. I moved my hand across her fatty bottom and I gave it a quick smack. Her eyes relaxed and rolled upwards and she nearly crushed my cock with her contortions.

I pumped my cock in and out of her sticky canals even faster than before. A couple of grunts escaped my mouth, while Fluttershy squealed in the euphoria. I moved my hands up to her shoulders to get a better grip and rammed my cock into her seeping slit. The sound of my waist hitting her ass resulted in a loud smacking sound that resonated throughout the house.She tightened up one last time before letting out shriek. I sped up much faster as I to felt my impending orgasm. I pushed a few more times before finally unleashing a mighty torrent of vindictive semen. Her vagina leaked of lust sauce when the storm died down. The weight of denial was lifted and my penis deflated, justified.

It was like entering a whole new world. A feeling of awe that was as pure as the Equestrian air. Whatever came over me felt natural, it was like something I was meant to do. Someone who I was meant to be. Things grew less blurrier as consciousness returned better than ever. I however, was down for the count. I was in a state that I liked to call “the sexual hangover”, when one experiences an orgasm so magnificent that the pleasure high hits the ceiling and knocks itself out for a while. From what I could tell, Fluttershy was in this state too, the way her eyes wandered towards the ceiling. Her legs would twitch sporadically, almost as if she was feeling some kind of sensory overload. I could set my focus to the ceiling as I laid on the couch at an awkward angle. Suddenly I could hear a rapid thud coming from the floor next to my leg which lie crooked towards the floor. The sound of a carrot crunch on top of the feeling of eyes locking down on me was enough to drag my attention to the source. Angel Bunny, the ironically named lagomorphic douchebag who stalks this cottage. His piercing eyes had dark circles underneath gave off the constant animosity you’d expect that entitled cretan to wear. Fluttershy rolled over to a more suitable position rubbing excess ecstasy out of her eyes. As the opportunity thinned, the disdainful carrot-muncher pulled his leg back and kicked me in my calves. The unexpected pain got a jump out of me before it quickly dulled out into a more constant pain. I took a breath through my teeth the moment I touched the achy area. He certainly wasn’t weak that’s for sure.

I rolled off the couch and stretched myself out. I held my aching leg for a little while and waited for the pain to die down. Zipping my pants up, I reached for the door a familiar nigh inaudible voice stopped me.

“Um.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you, for everything. You’re welcome to come back, if you want.”

“No problem Fluttershy, I’ll definitely come back. Remember, whenever you’re ready to get your bear checked out, come to the library.”

We exchanged farewells before I set off to the Golden Oaks Library. The evening sky was the mortal reminder that I told Twilight that I’d only be gone for 30 minutes. She was fairly reasonable, surely it wouldn’t become too much of an issue. The walk back was as quiet as expected. The creatures that cursed the forest were bound by sleep making my route back a fairly safe one. The lights of tired households welcomed me back into the small equestrian village that was my home. A huge influx of sales ponies crowded the streets after another day on the grind. A few ponies that I chatted with every now and then, crossed my path and I waved to as they came by. There was the hearty Big Red who sold tomatoes, Lemon Drop an overly-enthusiastic Lemon salesmare and of course my good friend Berry Blast.

I invited myself into the humble little library. A not-so-sane Twilight greeted me at the at door. She looked really stressed out, and it was nothing short than concerning. The way her normally decently kempt hair sprang up and outwards like the parts on a busted up robot. It was a look that reminded me of Lesson Zero and as cool that episode was, it wasn’t something I wanted to see out of her.

“Hello, Twilight...”

“Where have you been!?”

“I got a little sidetracked.”

“A little sidetracked?! You were gone for 3 hours!”

“Alright, alright let’s not get too feisty. I’ll tell you everything.”

And so I told her absolutely everything minus the details. I told her about the office, Fluttershy and the sex. That’s when he lavender-coated unicorn’s jaw dropped and her cheeks ripened faster than a tomato during spring time.

“You did what?”

“We had consensual sex, it was great.”

The sheer astonishment on her face went from 40 to 100 as I said the end of that sentence. I don’t know why I said it, it kind of just came out on it’s own.

“Maybe we should get to studying.” I chuckled out.

She complied and went up stairs to get the books. After an hour of note-taking, book reading and otherwise tedious school-esque tasks, it was time to write to the princess.

=====================================================================
Dear Princess Celestia,

Today, I got to hang out with my friends. It was great, except I got into trouble with this mare named BonBon. She’s not a bad pony by any means, I kind of just butted into their lunch in. I’m thinking about writing her an apology, but I’m not sure how well she’ll take it. I’m really good friends with one of her friends and I really don’t want to ruin any of our connections. Besides that I got to help out Rarity and Fluttershy, which make me feel much better about what happened. Anyways, thank you for the grant Princess. Good night.

Sincerely, Callum Jamison.

=====================================================================

Spike reluctantly incinerated the letter with his magic mailman fire. With that out of the way I was starting to feel a little tired. I didn’t feel like going out to Berry’s tonight, I was spent both physically and mentally. No idea how I managed to pull off what I did at Fluttershy’s house. It almost felt subconscious, but I was completely awoke going with the motions. It was the feeling of virtuosity, and this is just the beginning of my career...on the grand stage.

Author's Note

Author's Note : Holy shit this took way too long and I apologize for that. I got in a little bit of life stuff along the way, but mostly I was just being lazy or I didn’t have the time, the drive, the energy to write. Personally I think this chapter is massive because it basically sets up the formula for the story. It only gets bigger from here (Well I mean, sometimes it’s like pretty big but other times it’s like huge.) Enjoy this picture and remember to stay blue my friends.

Chapter 4 : Once In A Blue Moon

Earth to Equestria Chapter 4 Once in a Blue Moon

I found myself in the hallway of what looked like an old victorian mansion in front of a massive door. I placed my hand on the whorly patterned golden knob turning it cautiously. A bright blue light expanded as the entrance slowly opened. I shielded myself from the beaming radiance pushing myself through and ended up in a room. I saw on the other side of the room what looked like a glowing azure version of myself lying cross-legged on a recliner with a pipe in his mouth dressed in a plaid nightgown with pink slippers on.

“Go on, have a seat.”

I took a seat on the leather chair across from him making myself acquainted with it. There were bloated bookshelves of aged wood lining the walls with swirly patterns gilded into the wood. All lit by mysterious blue glow of the candles that circled the room.

“Who are you?”

“Well,” he said laughing for a bit “I’m you.”

“I mean...what are you?”

“Horny, very very horny.”

He snapped his fingers and out of nowhere 3 clones of Rarity appeared. They rushed for his pants, ripping them off instantly. He undid his legs and one of the clones jumped onto his cock while the one of them cuddled against his right shoulder. The last one sat diligently at his side like a well-trained dog.

“Want one?”

“No thanks.”

“Suit yourself.”

The final clone hugged his shoulder kissing him on the cheek. I kept myself as serious as possible, but the sight was more than enough to pop a boner.

“Are you sure?” he chuckled out.

“Positive.” I concluded “So what really are you?”

“No idea, all I know is that there’s nothing better than coming into reality.”

The Rarity clone screamed out as an unnecessary amount of semen flowed out of her vagina. She hopped off and yet the cum still flowed like a broken water fountain. While my face revolted at the scene at the sight, my penis vehemently disagreed with it. Not quite the answer I was looking for.

“How long have you been here?”

“I’ve always been here, waiting. I’ve only recently begun to feel myself.”

A largest shit-eating grin stretched across his face. I couldn’t help but snicker at the implied indecency, though I was sure there was some truth to the statement. I saw the walls shift as an unstable dark blue portal showed itself. The tall and elegant princess of the night made her grand entrance into my dream. I got up and bowed to the princess peaking to my right only to see my doppelganger jacking off furiously.

“Hello Callum Jamison My name is Princess Luna.” she said looking quite perturbed at the blue clone. “May I ask, who is that?”

“I-I don’t know! He’s just a fig-I mean, he’s probably some random dream thing. Just ignore him.” The words stumbled out of my mouth.

“Why, hello princess you look absolutely luscious.”

“I’m so sorry please forgive me-I mean him, miss princess luna, this is a bad time, I mean…”

“I... Understand, perhaps I shall meet thee in person?”

“That would be perfect, again, I’m really sorry about...him.”

She faded into the blue ether leaving me with him. The walls around the room began to melt. A white light encompassed the room as suddenly as consciousness surfaced the horizon.

I rolled off of my bed scratching my head from that embarrassing dream. I lazily stumbled down the stairs for a more refreshing breakfast. Twilight was deeply engrossed into whatever she was reading. I was almost worried the book was going to book was going to suck her into another dimension. I caught her attention and exchanged pleasantries.

“You’re up late.”

“Yeah, I had this really odd dream last night.”

“What was it about?”

I told her about the dream leaving out a majority of the revealing details. She gave me a distressed look.

“You should probably get over to canterlot soon.”

“Yeah, I agree.”

“Any idea when?”

“I’m thinking of heading up there around the time Fluttershy will be.”

My train of thought was soon eviscerated by the same flash of rainbow that destroyed the door. There two rows of shattered wood springing up like crooked stalagmites as the polychromatic-maned pegasus grinded to a halt.

“Hey Twilight, where’s alien dude I keep hearing about?”

“Hello Rainbow Dash, he’s right over there.”

She flew over to me with the intent of examining me. I was still in awe at not only the destruction she caused, but the fact that she acted as if she was practically unscathed. Held out my hand for a handshake which she attempted to hoof bump. I exchanged my open hand for a fist to completed the transaction.

“The names Rainbow Dash. I’m only the best AND fastest flyer in Equestria.”

“I’m Callum Jamison, just call me Callum or Cal, whichever you prefer.”

I tried to watched her fly around me, but it was tough to keep an eye on her. She was impressively agile in the air, especially considering the speed she was moving at. She motioned for another limb bump which I carried out.

“A hoofbumping alien? That’s so awesome!”

“Well it’s a pretty common gesture where I come from.”

“What else can you guys do.”

Normally, I wasn’t one to brag, especially about people. But this was Rainbow Dash we were talking about. I had to make an exception. I signaled her to wait and ran up the stairs to retrieve my camera. I swiped it out of my bag and dashed down the stairs.

“We make stuff.”

“A camera? Woah!”

“Not just any camera. Check this out.”

I quickly navigated to the video function. I pointed it at Rainbow Dash with the record button at the ready.

“Do something cool.”

“Wait Rainbow, not in here!”

Without an instant to spare, she unveiled impressive physically questionable acrobatics. Zipping around in lofty loops and daring turns. She took a close turn that nearly skimmed a nearby bookshelf and it was here that I was starting to regret my enthusiasm. Rainbow turned off of the shelf a little bit too sharply and ended up crashing into a chair. Thankfully it was something soft. Me and Twilight went to make sure she was fine. She got up clumsily so and remained a bit disoriented, but seemed okay. I checked back to see if I got everything. It wasn’t very easy to keep up, but I got a decent amount of it.

“That was dangerous!” Twilight scolded.

We apologized. Me and Rainbow laughed it off, but Twilight remained pouty. I showed Dash what I had recorded and she was utterly amazed. I took the initiative for the bump, which she returned.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your wonderbolt entry exams by now?”

The moment she said that her eyes widened.

“Uh oh, gotta go. See ya!”

She flew off before anyone had the chance to say bye. It was about the time of day for me to go out and I needed to catch up with Berry. As I approached her house I noticed she was outside tending to her blueberry bushes. I casually approached the blue pony finally catching her attention. After greeting each other she seemed a little concerned.

“Cal, where were you last night?”

“I was a too tired to come last night. I had sex with Fluttershy that evening and the orgasm left me completely spent.”

Her concern turned into ribald excitement, her eyes beaming with intense salacious curiosity. Her watering can hit the floor sputtering water from the nozzle.

“Tell. Me. Everything.”

She beckoned me to come in an offer which I took. She practically flew onto the couch laying across it with her hoof supporting her tilted head. I took a seat on the last bit of sofa I had to work with laying my arm lazily over the couch’s. Of course, I told her as much detail as I could remember.

“Nice. I always knew you had it in you.”

“Naturally.”

“However, I’d hate to pluck your pumpkin Cal, but Fluttershy is a total pushover. From what I heard, it seemed like you’d already tickled her curiosity when she saw your stiffer. She saw what you wanted and when you gave her something big, she wanted something else big. If you know what I mean.” Berry Blast explained with a flirtatious wink of her right eye.

An instinctual snicker escaped my mouth. Despite her jovial spirit of her words, I still felt they were worth legitimate thought. I couldn’t deny the reasonability of her explanation. Everything just lines up too well, except for that one thing. Maybe whatever that odd feeling was just a byproduct of the situation. However, it was outlandish to me how something like a short term sexual experiences had this much nuance to them. She’s was literally the horse’s mouth on the topic. The arbiter of adultery mood had leveled and her brightness dimmed a bit.

“It won’t always be that easy sugar. Sometimes you gotta talk her into it, y’know, butter her up a little bit.”

“Butter her up huh...sounds like fun.” I said with a lick of the lips. I fully absorbed the content of what I said and facepalmed in response.

“And sexy, maybe we should try that sometime.”

“A-anyways, how exactly is this done?”

“It’s pretty simple. Make her feel special, be honest and stay calm. Remind her how sexy she is and don’t forget to be sexy yourself. Make it seem like you can’t contain that animal, but don’t make it too obvious. C’mon shug, let’s practice.”

She flashed me with her signature flirtatious leer. She rolled off the couch and sauntered to the table. Her hind legs moved with more emphasis than her forelegs did making her ass come out. She swung her tail like a mace. She looked back at me with even more sexual vigor. This was farthest thing from subtle that I could imagine.

“What are you waiting for?” she said seductively swinging her tail in an even bigger arc revealing her slit.

I followed her to the table. My peripheral vision blurred. My legs were on autopilot as I walked to the seat across from her. I was so horny that I feared turning would send my penis into a wall. I printed myself to the seat and looked into Berry. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on what to say.

“Berry, you make me feel welcome to be in Equestria.” I said. My eyes instinctively tore away from hers looking down in thought.

“Hey, keep your eyes on me.” she scolded instructively. She immediately went back to character. “Oh, really sugar?”

“R-right, and your eyes are so deep, and expansive. Staring into your them is like diving deep into the ocean.”

“Awww, you’re so sweet sugar.”

I slipped my hands under the table. My slowly rubbed my upper quadricep. This pleased my sex talking drill sergeant and she clopped her hooves.

“You so got this down.”

“You really think so?”

“Not if that’s your response.”

“I-I mean, you know it!”

She licked her lips salaciously.

“You’re such a good student, y’know that?”

“Did I get an A?”

“No, I think you deserve a B. That stands for blowjob.”

We moved back over to the couch. She undid my pants somehow and wrapped her hoof around my cock. Her hoofs were hard but the were rounded at the edges so they didn’t do any damage. The pressure of her hoof was enough to send shockwaves of pleasure through my body. She stroked slowly turning her hoof as she hit the base. Her hot breath on the tip of my cock sent shivers through my body. The sultry look in her eyes only made me throb harder with vigor. Her mouth on my head was enough to make me grunt as the ecstasy pushed me to the edge of my seat. She swirled her rough tongue around my head before diving in deep. Overwhelming bliss forced moans out of my mouth. The waves became tsunamis of euphoria when the sexy succubus swirled her tongue on my penis.The way it tugged at my skin on top of the rigorous hoofjob unleashed unfathomable levels of pleasure that rivaled the feeling of standard penetration. The sensuality was overflowing and I felt myself rushing towards the climax. The heavenly feeling of a orgasm and strings of semen flowed from the tip of my member desperately rushing out of my cock. She swallowed the 3 shots before taking her mouth off, then a little extra discharge shot into her face.

She had a light cyan aura and I noticed creeping onto me. It felt, connecting...gentle like an saftey strap but as locking as an anchor in the ocean floor.

“I know this is a little out of left field, but I kinda get what you’re feelin’ sugar.”

“What exactly are we feeling?” I said inquisitively.

“Y’know stuck in a place that makes you feel like an outsider. I’ve been there, in a different sense.”

“Yeah, it’s not easy, but you get used to it. You don’t seem so much like an outsider to me.”

“Well, where I came from, everypony believed these crazy rules and pretty much hated sex. My mom always told me ‘if you keep doin’ what you’re doin’, tirek’s gonna drag you down to tartarus’.”

“My mom believes stuff like that too. Say, were you always like this?”

“Yep, but I'd rather not get into this. It's complicated." She said putting a hoof to her chin "Say, why don't we head down to the park?"

“To put your lessons into practice?”

"Sure thing sugar."

"I don't know about this..."

“C’mon, it’ll be fun. Plus, you’ll get laid!”

I uneasily followed the racy rancher out to the park. The whole time we walked, I couldn’t get lyra off of my mind. I was worried about her. About us. Bon Bon was a major obstacle. The only thing that stood between me and Lyra. I can’t stand it. I just don’t get why she’s so awful. I don’t get why Lyra can be around such a dictatorial killjoy. I caught eye of the bench that Lyra always played on. Oddly enough, no Lyra. Berry signaled me over to the empty bench. At which point, the perverse reconnaissance mission was a go.

“This was a pretty stupid idea. I don’t know anypony here, how am I supposed to bed any of them.”

“That’s what dates are for sugar.”

“Oh yeah, the alien monkey wants to take you out to dinner.”

“Look here’s one!” she whispered.

The mare she was referring to had a bushy bright orange mane and an equally bright yellow fur coat to match. She was dragging a heavy bag of what was presumed to be carrots. Her hooves and mane seemed to have gotten dirty from plucking the goods. She was a couple of inches taller than every other pony and had a nice round ass. My mare body assessment was interrupted by a punch to my shoulder.

“Are you waiting for the sun to turn blue? Get over there!” she said in an almost outside voice. She stuffed the rest of her outburst back into her mouth.

I got up and slid over to the mare. I tapped her shoulder and caught her attention. She seemed really peeved.

“Need a hand Carrot Top?”

“How do you know my name?”

“Well, I have umm. Telepathy! Yeah, we humans can read minds.” I said with an awkward laugh.

“Get lost creep!” she said continuing to drag the bag along.

I stepped back over to the bench with Berry. How strange, I thought she was the carrot salesmare. Must’ve been her sister or something. Maybe I’ll talk to her again at a different time. Sergeant salacity facehoofed at my awful performance. It wasn’t hard to see why, so I just laughed it off. This time, I was the one infecting somepony with the giggles. I cut my laugh short at the sight of Bon Bon and Lyra. Berry looked over to see what had stopped my chortling. Finally we’d caught the attention of the duo.

“Hello degenerates.” her face was ripe with condescending spite.

“It’s nice too see you too, candy.” Berry was on the fine line between carefree and smug

Lyra was ripe anxiety. I couldn’t help notice that feeling of ominousness, written in her awkward smile. I was feeling it too, so I sent a little wave in her direction. Her attempt to redirect it was rejected by a swift smack of the belligerent confectionist.

“Don’t show respect to these filthy sluts.”

“Sorry…”

“So why does she show respect to you?”

The context of that statement eluded me, but the magnitude of it was enough to force an uproarious laugh out of me. Lyra’s laugh echoed after mine. Bon Bon quivered with anger and unleashed a animalistic growl.

“You’d better shut your trap, princess pet. Because once the princess hears about what kind of naughty things her pwiddy widdle pwince is doing, you’ll be sent back to rot with the rest of your dogs.”

“You wouldn’t bucking dare Candy.” her words intensified drastically.

“Oh, I wouldn’t? I’m just being an honest, faust loving citizen, that’s more than you’ll ever be. You’re mom was right, you’re going straight to tartarus. It’s nice and steamy in the lake of fire. Just the way you like it right?”

Berry had a glare so menacing it could kill. She was flaring with earth shattering anger. I was just as shocked as I was scared at the rage she contained deep within that carefree shell. I was tempted to leave, but my legs refused to move and Lyra was quivering in fear. I didn’t want to leave her alone with these two irate mares. Berry got up and right into Bon Bons face, pushing against it with her snout.

“I’m starting to get real sick of you pious types. You go around telling ponies the moon is blue and make them admit it’s true. Listen here primadonkey, you can talk all that crazy nonsense to me all you want. I really don’t care, but don’t drag Cal into this. This is between you and me. Got it? Besides, you’re nothing like the pony you make yourself out to be. You’re just a bitter, control freak with no integrity. You don’t actually believe dusty old fillytale. You’re just in it to spite me. Well guess what? I’ve let you do this song and dance for 5 years now, hoping you’d get the buck over it. I’m done letting you drag my friends through this stupidity. If I see you hassling them one more time, I’m gonna beat you into the dirt you thought you came from!”

Berry violently shoved Bon Bon almost knocking her off balance. Bon Bon gradually became more defeated, until it was almost hard to tell if she was still angry. At this point, everypony at the park had their eyes locked on her. Berry stormed off and I followed closely behind. Along the way, I noticed that she was a lot less angry. At this point was more concerned and curious rather than scared. My gut was telling me not to ask her about it, but I couldn’t resist.

“Hey Berry.”

“What!?”

“Would you mind telling me?:

“I don’t feel like it.”

When we got to her doorstep she cantered in and shut the door behind her. I knew there was something between those two. I made my way back to the library. Perhaps studying would get my mind off of things. Maybe Twilight had some tips for dealing with this kind of situation. I knocked on the door a few times and exchanged greetings with Twilight.

“You’re rather quick to the door, What’s the occasion?”

“Rarity sent you a letter.”

“You had me at Rarity.”

I followed the lavender mare inside and rushed over to read the news. I ripped open the envelope and quickly unfolded it’s contents.It read “I’ve finished making those clothes so come over and get them.” Spike looked rather pouty in corner. I stuck my tongue out at him and he returned the notion. I giggled at him, waving and taking off to Rarity’s place.

By the time I got there I was out of breath and the sun beating down on me. I leaned on the door which slowly let me down to stumble into the boutique. Rarity was changing the clothes on her display. I called her name and successfully pried her attention off of her delicate work. She seemed happy to see me as I’d expected. Actually, a little bit too happy to see me.

“You seem a tired, let me make you some tea.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

I dragged myself over to the table and planted my face into it. I started to feel it again. This time it felt a lot more like having an epiphany. the feeling was boiling in my gut. It blurred the line between lust and romance. Either way, my mind was full of thoughts of both. Maybe it’s high time I put Berry’s lessons into practice, for real this time..

Rarity returned with all the necessary tea drinking materials in her magical grasp. She put everything into place with an impressive level of detail and precision. I picked my head up watching her pour tea into the cup. I noticed my elbows on the table, my spread legs and quickly fixed the issues. A smirk crossed my face. It’s time.

“Rarity, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your willingness to give.”

“Oh it’s nothing darling.”

“Well, setting aside your business just to make new clothes for me. That’s more than nothing to me. You really are something special Rarity.”

“Well, I am the element of generosity.”

I paid close attention to her movements. Her naturally well composed demeanor was starting to fracture. Trouble keeping still was an understatement when juxtaposed with her compulsive straightening habits. Her eyes wouldn’t stay on me, rather they’d keep bouncing off to her mane At the same time, she was trying to drink at a consistent rate, which quickly went wrong. Upon splashing herself with the tepid tea, she exploded into a short burst of rage crushing the fragile china with her magic. She grabbed a nearby cleaning tools and disposed of the fragments and the stain absurdly fast.That was a little frightening, but I quickly dismissed it.

“I wasn’t very thirsty anyways.” She said with a laugh.

I placed my fingers on my chin, looking at her contemplatively.

"What are you thinking about darling?

“I was just thinking about you.”

“Really? Do tell.”

“You’re just so gorgeous. I don’t know how you pull yourself away from a mirror.”

“Oh ho, you’re far too kind Callum.”

I took a couple of sips from the glass. Everything was going according to plan. I could see forelegs moving towards the center. She was definitely entertaining her walls. I just needed a bit more for her to break. I slid my hand down to my stiff crotch area and felt my penis pushing at my pants.

“Maybe we should get to know each other a little more”

I dipped my finger in and out of the tea handle. She was struggling to pull her hoof away from her vagina. I licked the side of the cup before taking another sip. At this point her composure was completely broken.

“Fluttershy told me all about how you helped her out the other night.”

“Did she now?”

“Yes, and I was thinking...well.”

Her face reddened and trickled with sweat. She couldn’t bring herself to say it, so I thought I’d save her the trouble.

“Gladly.”

Rarity beckoned me to follow her into the room. She walked very quickly and I followed just as much so. She slammed the door behind her and locking it. She hopped on her back and spread her legs wide open.

“Do it! Ravage me! I can’t take it anymore!”

“You might want to use some kind of soundproof spell.” I said laughing.

Her horn radiated and she created a small bubble over the bed. I dropped my pants immediately, and positioned myself over her. I teased her frothing entrance with my erect member before I parked my cock inside. I felt the sweat on her face as I moved my hand down it. Her breathing intensified as I slowly stimulated her crevices. Her walls avariciously gripped my pulsating cock. Instinctively, I went from zero to sixty. The rapid rhythm of my waist hitting her ass was music to my ears. She moaned with so much exaggeration it almost made me think it was fake. Her wiggling legs were an indicator that she was definitely getting close. I wasn’t done yet. I reached down grabbed her ass with my right. My fingers pressed into the finely formed flank. I adjusted my position to accommodate for my hand. I was able to get even more speed which sent rarity screaming into an orgasm. The crushing grasp of her walls blinded me with pleasure. I put both of my hands on her shoulders so I could push her in as I rammed my meat into her intense pleasure coursed through my veins. The intoxicating pleasure sent me into a sexual rampage. The final barrage of thrusts sent me into a wild orgasm. I blew loads of salty seed deep into her orifice.

My penis retracted and I laid on top of the twitchy overloaded unicorn. The bed below us was sticky with the solution of our mixed juices. I was drained, but my sexual hangover was a lot less potent than Rarity, whose mouth was still open and eyes rolled up. Despite the groaning and drooling, I leaned in for a kiss. The inebriated designer accepted it, too readily for it to seem natural, but I wasn’t complaining. Her breath had a mixture of mint and tea that I found to be rather pleasant for a change. I couldn’t leave her body unexplored on this long overdue foreplay. Her coat was silky, soft and maintained at a level which rivaled human girls. My hands felt like they were sailing on her fur and skin. I reached down to her ass for another round of groping and feeling. The posh pony seemed to become a lot more conscious around now. I gave her round a good grope and a light spank before she slowly broke away from my affection.

“Sorry darling, I’d love to continue, but I have a lot of work to do.”

“No problem, keep up the good work Rarity.”

“Thank you Callum, will do.”

I zipped up my pants and put away my doleful cock. I really wanted a round two, but I guess I was lucky to even get a round one, so my complaints are again moot. Rarity briefly left and came back to present to me a box containing the clothes she made for me.

“Thanks Rarity.”

“You’re welcome dear, feel free to come over anytime.”

“I’ll definitely be around.”

I left the boutique with my new wardrobes in tow. I marched triumphantly through the streets of ponyville. There was a little fire in my belly that wanted to dance with every step I took. Though consciously I realized that I was carrying something important, I still managed to slip a little spring into my step. I sauntered into the library with a smarmy smirk on my face. I was feeling so smug, so confident, so on top of the world, that everything around me seemed the same way. It was freeing, like dropping leg weights after a marathon. Spike scowled upon noticing me and turned his back. I laughed and started writing my letter to the princess.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today was a pretty great day, talked to some friends, had a good time. I really like it in Equestria. There’s only one problem.
though, that mare I told you about the other day was very a bit nastier last time. She’s starting to cause tension between me and my friend Lyra. Earlier, she threatened to tell you a secret of mine because she thinks you’ll hate me and send me back to Earth. I’m going with Twilight and Fluttershy to Canterlot so I can meet Princess Luna in person pony. I’ll tell you about everything when I get there.

Sincerely, Callum Jamison.

“Are you writing your letter to the Princess?” Twilight said

I yelped in surprise before turning to respond to the unicorn behind me.

“Yeah.” I said putting the quill back into the box. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry. So what did Rarity make for you?”

I pulled the first thing in the box full of clothes expecting to see an extravagant ensemble. My expectation was subverted by the simplicity of the attire. A classy navy blue business suit with an light blue undershirt to go along with it. A note floated its way back down into the box like a maple leaf from a tree. Twilight positioned herself to read along with me.

“You might be surprised by what I made for you dear. Something about you just says “professional” to me. I don’t know what it is, but I hope you like it.” it read with her signature on the bottom.

I laughed a bit. “‘Professional’ huh? I’m not quite sure about that one.” I thought to myself. It was still heartwarming that she held me to that standard, even if a bit absurd. There wasn’t much of a day ahead of me, but I’d sure it was a lot less eventful. A day like this could only come once in a blue moon. At least I’d get some sleep tonight. Perhaps tomorrow will be even more exciting.

Author's Note

At long last, the anticipated chapter 4. I think I'll save my reaction for the upcoming blog post because there's some interesting information that's gonna be unloaded when that comes out later tonight. Anyways, long story short, lots of procrastinating and slacking. I have a basis for the next chapter, so surely that one will take less time. I don't have a deadline though. But anyways, enough of me. Thanks for reading friends. I am out.

Chapter 5 : Cantering Lots

Earth to Equestria Chapter 5 : Cantering Lots

“Good morning Callum.” Celestia says

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and focused my thoughts on the princess.

“Celestia? Good morning.”

“I’m going to send you some tickets to canterlot and I need to know how many friends you’re inviting.”

“Alright, I’ll get to it then.”

We exchange farewells and I walked downstairs to eat breakfast with Twilight. She slid me a bowl of my favorite salad. It was an amalgamation of fresh crunchy lettuce, sweet tomatoes with chunks of potato in it Twilight broke the ice.

“Celestia told me you were going to Canterlot today.”

“Yeah. Are you coming along?”

“Of course. Celestia already sent me a train ticket.”

“Great! Now we just have to gather up the rest of the crew and we’ll be set.”

I plowed through the veggies like a machine leaving no trace of edible flora on my plate. I unleashed an embarrassingly loud burp which I quickly contained. I excused myself and then I excused myself out of the treehouse. It was time to gather my friends and fluttershy was, of course, first on my list. After a quick walk around town and another around Everfree I found myself in front of Fluttershy’s house. I knocked on her door a few times and without notice she slowly opened the door.

“Hey Fluttershy”

“Hi Callum, my animal friends really want to meet you.”

I followed her into her house and eventually into her backyard. A flock of colorful birds flew around us tweeting out equally colorful tunes. A rather eager looking white dove circled close to me. I extended an arm to it and allowed it to perch on my left arm. It happily looked into my eyes.

“It looks like Justin really took a liking to you.”

“So his name is Justin, huh?”

Another blue jay alighted itself on my right shoulder. It sung a sweet song. As I turned to look at it I noticed Harry wasn’t here. Strange...

“Hey Fluttershy, we’re going to Canterlot today.”

“Okay, I’ll get some help from my friend at the pet center and we’ll there in a jiffy.”

“Alright see you then.”

I motioned with my arm so that Justin could fly away. It fluttered up and away but turned momentarily and looked me in the eye. It looked sternly at me like a father almost. I’ve never seen a bird act like that. The bluejay flew off as well It looked at me rather happily and flew off fluting a similarly happy tune.

On my way back to ponyville, what appeared to be a caravan stopping by. I walked over to get a closer look at the horse behind (or infront rather) of the wheels. A large red stallion that almost stood as tall as I did. He had a huge intimidating muscles and remained intimidatingly stoic. Looking in his eyes gave me the feeling that he was the one actually looking down to me. My face reddened and sweat rained from my face. I nervously straightened my collar. I had to constantly remind myself how gentle he’s supposed to be to get myself to calm down

“Don’t be scared now, he ain’t gon’ hurt ya.” said the orange coated mare.

“Eeyup” the stallion echoed

“Well that’s good to know.” I said with an air of assurance. “You’re Applejack correct?”

I had to mentally enchain myself to keep myself from exploding into an uproarious chuckle from the insider implications of that statement.

“Sure am, and this is my brother Big Macintosh. We just came back from visiting family. Ain’t that right Granny?”

“Mmmhmmm. Now what might you be?”

“Err...I’m a human.”

“Whas that?” She leaned in closer to hear me

“A human.” I said a little louder.

Before she could ask again Applejack interrupted her next statement. Slowly she egged her on until she walked back into the carriage. Applejack walked back out.

“Aren’t there supposed to be 4 of you?”

“Well Apple Bloom is sleepin’ right now. She stayed up all night playin’ with her cousins.” her voice slowly trailed off to a more chastising tone.

I looked at her with a bit of concern.

“Anyways...I’m Callum Jamison and it’s a pleasure to meet you all.” I held my hand out for a shake.

She looked inquisitively at it for a second before piecing together what to do with it. She slapped her hoof onto my hand and damn did it sting. The dirt and mud caked on it migrated onto my hand. Her hoof hooked dangerously tight onto my hand and her shake almost threw me off balance. She laughed at me.

“Ya look like you could use a bit of good ol’ farm work to toughen ya’ up a bit.”

“Err, no thanks. Not now at least, me and some of the mane six are heading off to Canterlot because Harry needs to be operated on.”

“Mane six?”

“Y-yeah, that’s my name for you guys. Y’know The Elements of Harmony and all that.”

She raised an eye at me. She must know I’m lying about making that, but she didn’t care enough to press me on it any further.

“S-so, why don’t you come along so that we can get to know each other better?” I offered.

“Sorry Cal, but I gotta help my family set everythin’ back up at the farm. I hope everythin’ goes well.”

“Alright. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? I’ll be sure to come down there sometime when I get back from Canterlot.”

It freaked me out a little bit that I heard that in Berry’s voice. I waved her goodbye and headed off to Rarity’s place. I knocked on her door a few times.

“Coming” she sung

Even hearing her voice was enough to make my penis spring into action. It preemptively pointed at the future location of its target with intent to destroy. Like a missile directed to the sky. The pompous white unicorn opened the door and her attention immediately redirected to the angry finger below my belt. Her face pinkened and her face couldn’t decide whether to be embarrassed or horny. Hopefully the latter.

“Hey Rari-” I said an a fruitless attempt to redirect her attention.

“Just let me get ready first?” she said hurriedly.

“Ready for what?”

“Well, I thought...nevermind. What brings you by Callum?”

“Well I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to Canterlot with Twilight and the gang.”

“I’d absolutely love to darling.”

“Alright, I’ll let celestia know, just be at the train station when you’re ready.”

“Will do.”

I wished her goodbye and quickly shuffled through my mind for who I’d invite next. I figured Pinkie already knew through her...mysterious methods, though I still wanted to go and see her. I never really got to talk to her a whole lot. So I quickly made my way to Sugarcube Corner. “Closed for Maintenance” The sign on the front said. I turned the knob and pushed but it wouldn’t budge. Slowly, as I was ready to hit the road, the door creaked open revealing a dimly lit diner. I was sure to tread lightly, making as little sound as possible when I entered the room. The door slammed behind me and Pinkie ambushed me from above.

“What the hell?!” I yelled out.

“Hiya!”

She had me pinned to the floor in a position that was all too familiar to me. For better or for worse. All I knew is that my penis certainly remembered this position and that was most certainly for the worse. Don’t lie to me, you like it so much more than you think you do. The intrusive thought startled me forcing my head back into the floor.

“Don’t hit your head into the floor like that, you’ll hurt yourself silly.”

I could only retort with a disgruntled mumble. She giggled into an explosive laugh with plenty of adorable snorts peppered in. My cock pulsated in an attempted to remount the pig-tinted mare. Her laugh slowly died out as she gritted her teeth. I smiled really wide for that one. I grabbed her ass with one hand. I dug my fingers into her ample buns. It was like squeezing a balloon. She kissed my nose and hopped off.

“Actuaaaaally, maybe some other time.”

“You’re a real tease you know that?”

“Well I really really thought about it. Fluttershy and Rarity didn’t really want to talk about it all that much, so I just guessed that it was one of those thing you just have to go through to know. Like waking up to only to find that there’s a invitation to a party thrown just for you!”

“Yeah...Like that. On the other hand, that’s not why I came-” I was briefly interrupted by another explosion of laughter. I forced my face to flatten but even I couldn’t resist laughing a little bit.

“Sorry.”

“Well I wanted to invi-”

“Ooooo let me get my stuff. I’ll be right back.” she said bouncing off to her room

“Well then, I’ll meet you at the train station then.” I yelled out to her

I could say bye. As I turned to the door she appeared back to me and waved me goodbye with a wink attached to it. I can’t wait. I walked out for real this time and felt the wind blowing once again in the direction which I would go. I absolutely had to get Berry to come along. I darted to her house and quickly knocked on her door. She just so happened to open it as I held my heart from exhaustion.

“Wow, if you had that kind of energy during sex, maybe you’d last longer.”

“Ouch, that’s a low blow.”

“I could show you a low blow sugar.”

“We can talk about that later. Anyways, you should come along to Canterlot with me.”

“Sure thing rich colt, I’d love for you to meet all of my friends there. Maybe we can get around a bit.” Her breath oozed with lascivity.

“Whenever you’re ready, we can meet up at the train station.”

“I’m going to stick around.”

“You sure you don’t want to bring anything along?:

“All I got are dildos laying around and I won’t need those because I have you Cal.”

She recovered really quickly from that accident with BonBon. I definitely won’t touch that topic though. The senate and the house have unanimously voted on this Berry Blast as the best Berry Blast. I walked back to the library with Berry Blast following closely behind. I walked right on in. Twilight was by a bookshelf organizing books with Spike. We exchanged pleasantries with her and the dragon. Suddenly, a streak of rainbow flashed by my face throwing me off balance. The mare came to a clean stop and that’s when I noticed the saddlebag on her back and the mischievous look on her face.

“Hey Callum is she your marefriend?”

“Come on Bow, even I can do better than that.”

Rainbow Dash’s exaggerated tomboyish laughter echoed through the room. I wanted to cringe in embarrassment, yet hearing that laugh It felt nostalgic on a deep visceral level urged me to smile and laugh. My face couldn’t properly decide which emotion to display so it went with general discomfort.

“Hilarious.” I said flat faced. “Anyways, what brings you by Rainbow?”

“I’m coming with you guys to Canterlot.”

“Great, that makes it all of us.”

I excused myself and I went upstairs to grab the stuff I packed myself. I slipped out of my old worn out jeans and into my new dress pants. It felt like an ocean of cotton washing over my legs and caressing them. I slipped into the soft undershirt with ease and tucked it into my pants. I slid my arms into each sleeve of the suit. It was such a tight fit that it reaffirmed the notion that it was truly made for me. Each button I fastened filled me with poignant sense of pride and purpose. I haven’t even started working, yet I felt like a professional. When I finally finished wrapping the tie around my neck. It felt amazing.

I seemed to float down the stairs. It was as if I had transformed into another kind of alien. Everyone looked at me as if they didn’t know me. Yet, it resembled intrigue rather than perturbation. My face was stuck in a perpetual state of complacency. The deep blue earth pony laughed harder than I thought was possible.

“Are you okay Cal?”

“Maybe a little bit too okay.”

The comment sparked laughter throughout the entire room. As we laughed I saw this strange pink aura flowing throughout the room. It seemed to clump up and float off of everypony like bubbles. Even the cinders the slipped through Spikes had a pinkened hue to them.

“Hey does anypony see the weird pink bubbles floating around?” I asked

“Uh oh...” Rainbow said with sweat pouring down her face.

“What is it?”

I literally saw her eyes sparkle. She lit up like a christmas tree. I could really feel how excited she got from even the mere inquiry. The fiery orange aura that swirled sporadically from her body. The feeling was captivating and utterly inspiring.

“It’s called Spectra an-” Twilight explained before she was caught off guard by the cyan hoof that was now stuck in her mouth.

“No! I’m not going to go through that again.” Rainbow said defensively

Twilight blushed a bit and the thoroughly offended pegasus removed the forehoof from her mouth. I had my questions, but I repressed them in my mind. I signalled everyone to gather up and reminded them about the others waiting at the station. I quickly alerted Celestia of the number of participants and the purple dragon who mostly quiet burped out an envelope. Then finally we made our way down to the train station.

Everypony was well packed for the journey. Pinkie wore something that looked like big snow shoes on her hooves as she effortlessly pranced around balancing that huge pack. Beyond the strangely hyper organized bag and the cannon strapped to the top the weirdest thing I saw on it were the 24 masks hanging on the each side. It reminded me of the guy from an old video game, which further proved that Pinkie was from another dimension. Rarity’s bag was expectedly large and sumptuous. Fluttershy carried a fairly simple set of saddlebags which was a relief to the eyes.

Greetings were given and minor conversations occurred. Then a tired yellow furred mare came along pushing the groaning bear thoroughly floored on a roller into a specialized medical cart. I noticed the rainbow aura pulsating wilding from him and all the miscolorings and tumors on his skin and fur. She had emerged from the train car wiping a the sweat from her brow.

“How is he Doctor?” Fluttershy asked

“For a bear with Stage 2 Severe Spectral Flux Disorder, he’s certainly hanging in there to say the least.”

“What’s that?” I asked

“To put it simply, the part of his brain that manages spectra isn’t working as it should and so it’s disrupting the natural rhythms in his body. Even minor injuries can result in the huge tumors like the ones you see all over his body.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m Doctor Fauna, You’re Callum right?”

“Yeah I am.”

“Thank you for doing this for Harry, it means a lot to see someone else who cares so deeply for animals.”

“No problem”

A really awkward feeling bubbled up in my gut, but I just smiled and avoided focusing on it. We all waved the veterinarian and boarded the train for ourselves. The girls and I stuffed our belongings in the practically camouflaged storage space above us. The grumbly old train made for a nice massage on the back. I could even hear the wheels screaming out in pain as if saying ‘not this again”. It smelled like the living room of an old lady’s house, I looked over to Pinkie Pie on my far right only to see her with a weird fish mask on. Fluttershy who was sitting next to her was missing. Rainbow Dash got up from her seat and waltzed towards the back.

“So, what do you guys plan on doing in canterlot?”

“I going to look for locations to put a new boutique.”

“Why Canterlot?” Berry asked

“Not only do I absolutely adore the culture, but I’ll also be the first in canterlot to have human clothes designed when they arrive.” she said with daring. “How about you Berry?”

“I just want to hang out with some old friends of mine.”

“Wow, how do you get friends from all these different places?” Twilight said in surprise.

“I met most of my friends when I was a filly. Most of them moved away at some point, but I always kept in touch with them.”

“That sounds like a lot of work.” I added

“Yeah, but they’re worth it to me.” she said conclusively. “Maybe we should all meet up.”

“Sorry, but I have to meet with Luna later tonight, I still need to apologize to her.”

“Oh what did you do now sugar...” Berry said in a playful tone

“Let’s just say she came in on a weirdest dream. Just my luck.”

A wave of giggles passed through the room at. It was pretty embarrassing, but I hopefully it doesn’t give me too much trouble tonight. We all looked at Twilight to hear what she had to say.

“I’m going to visit the castle library and talk to Celestia all about what’s happened recently.”

“I was planning on talk to Celestia tomorrow, why don’t we go together Twilight?”

“That sounds like a good plan. We can meet up at the castle tomorrow morning and talk to her.”

A giant squeal came from the old locomotive as if it was thanking the conductor for relinquishing iti’s torment. The train stopped moving and everypony got off. With everything unloaded and a sick bear in tow, me and my 7 friends arrived in the city of canterlot. I decided to run ahead to get a better feel for the city while I had the chance too and Berry Blast tagged along.

We walked throughout busy city streets and saw all the posh ponies staring back at us with their snobby inflated sense of superiority. The smell of tea, cologne and pretentiousness wafted through the air reminding me thoroughly where I was in equestria. Massive buildings with onion spirals that resembled russian architecture with white, sky blues and soft lavenders swirling around their frames. Not too far out of place was the animal hospital we were looking for.

I saw the sleek almost futuristic interior of the hospital. It looked like something I’d see in my world and it was honestly very impressive when I juxtaposed it with what I saw everywhere else. The receptionist was oddly excited as I entered her hospital. Just as I waved hi to her she was almost floored. I didn’t know I was this attractive. A rather elite looking doctor emerged from a spotless glass door with a client. The professional’s straight light blue mane swung around as her focus alternated from the clipboard she held with her magic to the worried pegasus to her side. She had a look of directness, bluntness and pure focus. The pegasus ran off worried and bruxing. The doctor’s expression lightened when she saw us. She ran up and hugged Berry Blast, who was very willing to give one back.

“Berry?! Oh my god! I can’t believe it!” she said as she wrung berry blast like a mop head.

“I-i’m glad to see you too h-heal.” B-but, sugar, could ya loosen up a bit?”

The snow white mare broke off with an apology sheepish giggle. She examined me as if she were performing an autopsy. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her eyes ran up and down my body like she were scanning us with a laser. Just by looking into her eyes I could see her mind was running with calculations, analyses and hypotheses. After it was all over, I saw he whitish yellow aura reach out. When it touched me I felt this strong sense of communion and acceptance. It was a very warming feeling. Her eyes softened as she looked at me.

“Hello, you’re Callum right?” She asked to which I replied with a nod. “I’m Healthy Heart.”

“Do you mind if I just call you Heart?”

“Of course not honey.” she said impulsively.

“Just make out already.” Rainbow Dash blurted out making the four ponies behind me laugh.. My ripened cheeks expanded as I joined in. As the laughed died down I saw an expecting look in twilight’s eyes.

“Harry should be here in exactly the next 10 seconds.” Twilight said assuredly

She looked over to the the left of me to see the bear being rolled in by doctor fauna. She cantered over to the scene to examine the bear. Within seconds her analytic trance was dismissed for a panicked look on her face.

“Uh oh. We’d better get going.”

They quickly dragged the bear along through the narrow corridors. A few excuse me’s and a few frightened pedestrians later and they had found themselves at double door with the red words “Emergency” flashing over them. They’d barged in and slammed the door behind them.

After a waiting in the lobby for 30 minutes. The heart came out and gave us a quick rundown. Long story short, Harry was going to be in the hospital for a few weeks to be operated and to fully recover. Fluttershy had begged her to stay with the bear that until Twilight had to remind her of her other animals. Heart signaled me to follow her into another room.

“This is kind of strange, isn’t it?”

“Well...Err...Yes, but I want to say something private to you before you go” she said contritely. “It’ll be just a second. ”

I looked at her with my eyebrow raised. Yet there was this strange feeling of deja vu. It made me think back to when Rarity invited me over. I knew exactly why she brought be back here. I couldn’t let her know that though. It might kill the opportunity.

“Well, what is it?”

“Well, it’s just that...You saw the white tendril things touch you right? I know I just met you and all, but I want you to come to my house.”

She definitely didn’t get her cutie mark for subtly that’s for sure. I’ve never seen a mare turn redder in my life, that even includes orgasms. Even she must’ve known how absurd her methods were.It wouldn’t interfere with my plans to meet Luna tonight, so the decision was pretty simple for me.

“Sure, I’ll go.”

“Yes! Let’s get going then.”

I walked out of the hospital with the doctor. Getting ready to split up not too long after we’d just joined up. I followed the light blue maned mare into her house. I sat to the far right of the leathery tuscan red couch which was a straight shot from the door. She stood right in front of me. It honestly felt a lot more awkward than I thought it would.

“Do you want anything, food, drink?”

“No, I’m fine.”

She stopped and sat next to me. She scooched so close that she was touching me. Damn she was cute. Her light blue mane swept to the right and flipped upward. She had thick glasses over her lavender eyes. She definitely had a chubbier face, but it definitely wasn’t unwelcome.

“So how do you know Berry?” I asked

“I used to be really shy. Then Berry found me and helped to bring me out of my shell. She even helped hook me up with my first coltfriend.”

“Wait you have a coltfriend?!”

“Not anymore, we broke up a long time ago.”

“Why did that happen?”

“Well I came to find out that he was kind of a loser.”

“Why don’t I show you what a winner looks like.”

Her eyes widened as I dove in for a kiss. She didn’t move, she just accepted it to happen.
I shoved my tongue in her mouth and ran my hands down her face gently. She sat up and wrapped her hooves around my shoulders. I leaned to the right and moved my leg moved my left leg onto the back of the sofa. She forced herself forward onto me. I slipped a hand below her waist and felt her soaking clit. It was so lubricated that she must’ve been leaking long before she sat down. She started grinding against my waist. I quickly unzipped my pants before she did anymore damage to them.

My cock sprang up and smacked her chest. She pushed it back down as she continued to rub her pussy against it. I undid the rest of my clothing and clenched her sides and ass. I lifted her thick round above my towering rod. She unwrapped her hooves to get a better position on the couch. Heart tested the tip for a bit twirling it inside her.

She dropped down a few inches, which made me groan and dig deeper into her huge ass.
She balanced herself at that height dipping up and down. I pulled her down further onto my penis catching her by surprise. Her cute mew became a lustful moan. It had paralyzed me with pleasure for a moment. I slammed her ass against my throbbing member. The rhythm slowed a bit as I felt the sheer weight of her cheeks.

I could feel every nerve jolting with this heavenly bliss at every point I held her on my cock. She dove onto my open mouth for a surprise kiss. I sloppily threw my tongue in her mouth. I started pulling her up on my cock much faster. The feeling of an orgasm approached me like a truck. Much like a truck, it came fast and hit hard hard. Suddenly she dropped all of her weight onto me.

She had so much energy after that. She was rubbing me with her hooves and kissing my cheeks. I caressed her sides for a bit and moved back down to her ass. She looked at me so lovingly and for a moment I saw Lyra in her place. I leaned in for long passionate kiss. This time I really tasted her the salad in her breath. With the end of that kiss my energy had been depleted.

“Do you know what time it is?” I uttered out

“Well I got off at about 8 o’clock at night so it’s probably around 9 by now.” she said yawning. “You should crash here for the night.”

“I think I’ll take that offer.”

She rolled off of me towards the back of the couch and took my arms with her. With that I was facing her on my side, dangerously close to the edge of the couch. It was sloppy and uncomfortable, but I was too tired to move or squeeze in more comfortably. Slowly I drifted off into my sleep.

There I was in a grassy green meadow. A rainbow of open flowers danced wildly in mild winds. The open air was refreshing and the lavender aroma created a premeating sense of calm. As I continued to move where I thought was forward. The flowers became more and more selective. The area became much more restricted by deciduous wood which soon surrounded me. Tall yellow trees shrouded sunny sky leaving beams of light to guide me. A flurry of leaves temporarily obstructed my ability to see the road ahead. With their passing, 3 diverging paths were revealed at the end of the narrow road. A familiar face joined me on my left.

“Hello?” I said.

He didn’t even have the courtesy to acknowledge my presence. He merely continued forward at the same pace I did. As we reached the crossroad together, he looked me in the eye without turning his body.

“I’m with you. Wherever you go, I go.”

I looked carefully down the left road to see Healthy Heart waving amongst coniferous trees. The blue doppelganger waved at her. I looked down the middle and saw the trees were no more. The path was a moonlit street that disappeared into a cosmic road. Crickets and wind whistled to me from it. The road to the right had more coniferous trees and it didn’t look like there was anything else there.

“Hey, word of advice...” he said before taking a puff of the pipe in his mouth.

“Yeah?”

“It doesn’t matter what road you take, It’s what you’ll think about journey afterwards that will make all the difference.”

Right before my eyes, Lyra came from the trees leftward on the path and dashed down it as if she was being chased by something. I ran down the path on the right without hesitation. In front of me a swirling portal appeared and out came Luna.

“Callum, I have some very important things to talk to you about. Please, wake up and come to the castle.”

My eyes slowly opened. I rolled off of the bed and checked my camera for the time. It had only been sleeping for an hour. When I looked back to the couch I saw that Heart was starting to wake up again.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, Luna invaded my dream and told me to come meet up with her now.”

“Damn, when I will be able to see you again?”

“Whenever you can head down to Ponyville, I guess.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Alright I’ll see you at the party.”

“No one told me about a party, what party?”

“Crap, I forgot you were new here. Well, Berry always throws these crazy parties every few months or so. The next one comes up in a week from now.”

“I’ll be sure to be there.”

“Alright I’ll see you then.”

I exchanged a tired farewell with her before heading out. She blew a kiss at me as I left the house. I strolled down the dark streets of canterlot. The moon shined brightly above the castle. Details were invisible but the shapes of buildings where clearly highlighted in the lunar glow. Amongst the beauty was a poignant sense of fear. I strayed far away any side of the street checking every dark corner for what could potentially be lurking in the shadows. I wandered aimlessly for a half an hour before I stumbled upon a tavern. A drunken guard came out wobbling like he was on stilts. I regrettably asked him for directions, which resulted in a slurred, incoherent diatribe about how much he wanted to fuck the princesses. He had passed out at my feet at the end causing me to quickly inch away from him. I bumped into a pretty big pony. I turned to see the shaded coat of very tired looking captain.

“Er, hello…” I said shyly

“I’m Shining Armor. You’re Callum aren’t you?

“Yeah, that’s me. Can you teleport me to the front of the castle or something?”

“No, because I’d have to teleport myself too and I have to deal with my inebriated night platoon. I’ll send a guiding spell to help you find the fastest way there.”

I thanked him and followed the pink ball of light to the castle. It was practically a hop skip and a jump away and Luna was there to meet me at the entrance.

She guided me through the castle. We found ourselves in a stony torch lit corridor that smelled like a burning incense. The stones crunched beneath my feet. The giant blue entrance was surrounded by a tough metal frame whispered to me through the windless corridor. Luna swung it open with her magic and lead me to her room. I sat down on the red cushioned chair in front of me. Luna sat on her bed. I was put off by how casual it all was.

“I’m sorry about our first meeting.”

“All is fine Callum.”

“So do you know what who that weird blue guy is in my dream.”

“It even evades my realm of knowledge. It is indeed strange phenomenon you’re deal with. It acts as if it has a mind of its own.”

In a flash it came to me. Everything I’ve experienced from this strange second voice finally started to make sense.

“I got it!”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Now I know this is hard to believe, but sometimes I get these weird thoughts in my head, I say that I don't even want to say.”

“How peculiar…”

“It’s odd, whenever I end up in...Er….” I blushed.

“Callum, I already know.”

“Sexual...situations, I get this weird feeling in my head and then all the sudden I’m in autopilot.”

“You’ve never dealt with this on Earth?”

“Thankfully not.”

She put a hoof on her chin and looked up for a second. You could see the gears turning from inside her eyes. I knew it must have come from the one thing I didn’t know much about.

“Do you think it has something to do with spectra?”

“Indeed, I believe the increased spectra you’re dealing with is awakening hidden potential within you.”

“Before we go any further, what is this spectra stuff everypony is talking about?”

“To put it shortly, it’s emotional energy that is strongly connected to self-awareness.”

“Wow, that’s pretty interesting. Oh, a friend of mine mentioned some kind of “something nexus” spectra. What’s that about?”

The seemingly stoic princess surprised me with her laughter.

“I think I’ll let you figure that one out on your own.”

She levitated a book my way. Her starry magic was so powerful, even for a such simple spell, it almost shocked my fingers. The thick text was titled “The Spectra Compendium.” It even had alphabetized tabs on the sides. I jumped to the O’s then back to the A’s before I found what I was looking for. “Aurilos nexus spectra.”

“There’s no way…” I muttered. My jaw dropped to the floor like an anvil. “She fell in love with me?!”

“Since you’ve had sex with her, that connection is only going to get stronger.”

“How do you know that?”

“I didn’t know why she was in your dream, so I walked into hers and it was very vivid to say the least.”

“Isn’t that wonderful?” I said closing my mouth quickly

“It sure is.” she said as her face morphed into a more flirtatious expression “Maybe one of these days I might just figure out for myself.”

This time I saw it for real. The magnetic blue waves hypnotically bouncing off of her body. It was not only incredibly arousing to be around, but attracting. It physically and mentally drew me towards her desires. It only left me with one big question.

“Is Celestia like that too?”

“Oh no far from it.”

“What’s her deal?”

“She’s of the opinion that casual sex is a vile atrocity, let alone cross-species sex.”

“Well that’s a massive problem because I told her that I’d tell her about it.”

Luna was reflecting my expression of shock. Now that’s the worst news I’ve ever heard.

“You have to tell her.”

“Am I going to get fired?”

“No, not yet at least. The wormhole spell is way more costly to perform than we even imagined. It’ll take months for our magician’s to make it optimal for use. I’ll leave you with a homework assignment.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to discuss some of your points to the my parliament's top advisors and we need to inform the public of our positions. We’re going to need as many votes as we can get.”

“What if we fail?”

“Then you’re likely to be sent back home in a few months at the minimum. I wish you the best of luck.”

“Thank you, I’ll do my best.”

“You can sleep in my bed for the night, I have work to do.”

She got off of her bed and made room for me to lay down. It was a little bit small for me, but damn was it soft. Things were starting to look a lot harder than I’d imagine they’d be. How will Celestia react? What will she think of me after that? Will she hate me? I don’t think something so trivial would be a detriment to our relationship. Even if we don’t win the upcoming political battle, I think I might still be able to win her over.

Author's Note

Here we are at last Chapter 5. This chapter was pretty big for the story. I'll talk more about that in the "Author's Insights" coming up tonight. Check my blog out for that. Comments are welcome! Criticisms are welcome too, but I will challenge them if I don't agree with it or concede if I do.

Thank you for reading and have an awesome day friends!

Chapter 6: Checkmate

Chapter 6 : Checkmate

I stood before a giant ever expanded silhouette of Celestia in a selective spotlight. Below my feet a planet grew from the ground. I felt like a giant on this planet, watching the skies as I spun on the planet like a plate in a microwave. Before I could get comfortable I saw myself on a silver disk. I drunkenly looked about.3 strings surrounded me, a T-shaped bar, another disk held up by 2 strings, and something else on the other side. I couldn’t get a bead on it since it kept flickering in and out, but it was definitely blue. Wherever I was wouldn’t stay still, and I couldn’t reorient myself either. Nothing would stay still. All I could see are flashing images and colors spinning . Suddenly, with a flash of light. I found myself in a colorless city, on my knees. Alone in the streets with my hands tied behind my back. “Callum?” I hear from a feminine voice in the distance.

“Callum?”

My eyes shot open at the sound of Luna’s voice. I sat up in bed, my head was pounding. My sweat dampened the bedding below me leaving me with this harsh salty smell. I heard a few knocks on the door and slowly opening.

“Good morning Callum,.” She said with a yawn.

“Good morning Luna” I replied returning the yawn

“You’re anxious about today aren’t you?”

“Huh? Oh, is that was that all meant?”

“I believe so, human dreams are certainly strange. ”

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and finally pulled the covers off of me. That’s when I finally saw how wet my pillow was from last night.

“Er...sorry about that.”

“All is fine, that’s what servants are for.” she said with a giggle. “Speaking of my staff, I told my advisor Night Eyes you would be meeting with her.”

“Well, I’d better not keep her waiting then.”

I reached into my bag for tomorrow’s ensemble and heading towards the door.

“The shower is in the bathroom which is on your left. Night Eyes will be waiting in the Lunar parliament's meeting room, which is the farthest door down the hall.” Just as I turned I heard her spark up again. “I understand your worry Callum, but everything will be fine if you just tell the truth.”

I nodded her way and gave her my farewells.”To her, casual sex is a vile atrocity.” Luna’s words from yesterday rang in my mind. I slipped into the bathroom for a quick shower and a hygiene check. The warm water did wonders for my worries. I felt refreshed and ready to go afterwards. I cracked open the door and stepped inside to meet the confidant.

The first thing I noticed were the sharp fangs and batlike wings she sandwiched herself between. Her oversized glasses magnified her half open violet eyes. The mare’s messy dark purple mane swirled towards the back of her neck in two tufts and her grey coat looked like it was overdue for a brushing. I can’t blame her for looking like a mess considering she’s probably really tired. I got the same “total brainiac” feeling about her that I did from Twilight Sparkle or Healthy Heart.

I took the seat directly across from her and got comfortable in it. Her face morphed into a defensively disinterested one. I was smiling at her, but she was looking at her notebook.

“Hi Night Eyes, I’m Callum Jamison.” I held my hand out.

“Hello.” she said reluctantly shaking my hand.

“Hey, didn’t Luna say there would be more than one advisor?”

“Well yes, but they all fell asleep.”

Her eye contact was shaky and she kept fidgeting. I could tell something was wrong with her, but maybe if I knew what, I could probably help.

“Is there something on your mind?”

“It’s nothing…”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want it to get in the way of our work.”

Her snout was tilted more downwards and her forelegs came closer together. She looked away for a second and then her eyes returned to me.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Let’s just get this over with so I can get to bed.”

“Okay.”

The batpony flipped through her notebook and then opened it up to a blank page. As she lifted the notebook to fold it back, I caught a glimpse at indented paragraphs with short lines of text scribbled above them on one of the pages. Her eyes shifted around with uncertainty before heading back to me.

“We’ll start with our position, then we’ll discuss our argumentation and in a few weeks I should have a detailed plan to communicate our ideas to the public. So tell me what you have and we’ll work from there.”

“Creatures of different species should be able to have sex, but only if they’re sentient.”

“I think you mean sapient, but yes. Simple enough.”

“Aren’t they the same thing?”

“No, the terms are completely different. Sapient is the ability to think and reason whereas sentience is merely the ability to be aware of your senses.”

“I’ve never heard that word before.”

“Well, it was originally used to describe the ancient sapien creatures in the mountains who passed knowledge from generation to generations.You seem to be some kind of variant of them.”

“How do you know so much about words?”

“Part of influencing ponies is understanding what the words you’re using mean and why they mean them. That’s how I make it easier for lunar ideas to be understood.”

I felt a little orange aura coming off of her. She was smiling the entire time. I smiled back at her, but she rolled her eyes at me when I caught her.

“Digressions aside, can you expand on that point?”

“I’d say we just tell them that sex is a way to connect with somepony of a different culture? If you can appreciate the human-I mean pony qualities of a member of another species, then why couldn’t you start a relationship? Furthermore, have sex. Even if there’s no children involved.”

“You seem to be more prepared than I’d imagine you’d be.”

“I’m just saying what I think is right.”

My bright orange aura glowed like a fire. It further ignited the aura she emitted and practically overpowered it. I had relit her dying candle. I could see the passion return to her eyes.

“I’ll play devil’s advocate then. What about sexually transmitted diseases? Especially since they live in completely different environments.”

“I understand that they’re dangerous and potentially deadly, but that’s the price some ponies are willing to pay. If these do happen, then you get to study them as they arise and try to eliminate them, which could make it easier to stop them if they try to spread from other sources.”

“Impressive. What else do you got?”

“Ponies should be free to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t harm anypony else or it could have dangerous consequences. I haven’t read about it on your planet, but on mine, prohibition only puts more people in danger.”

I could feel the intensity in her eyes as she scribbled away in her notebook. She looked significantly more awake now than she did before. I could definitely see that she loves what she does.

“What’s next?” I asked.

“Well, here’s where we might have some trouble…” she said with her energy starting to fade back to its initial state. “My friend Spicy Scoops, who owns a printing press, is in the hospital.”

“Doesn’t she have a secondhand pony?”

“Hand..? Oh. No, she doesn’t. Her company is really small, but hers is the only one willing to feature our advertisements.”

“Really, Why is that?”

“The larger companies want to be represented by lunarian ideas mostly because of their...exploratory nature.”

“So what happened to Ms.Scoops?”

“I-I don’t feel comfortable sharing that.” She said looking up to me with shame.

“It’s okay, you don’t have too if you don’t feel like it. I still need you to figure this whole thing out. Okay?”

“I’ll do my best.” her voice staggered with pessimistic uncertainty.

I pushed the chair back and got out of the room. I managed to play it cool until I left, but my stomach was in knots. “This is really bad…” I whispered under my breath. The pressure was back on and it was unrelenting. Should I lie to both of the alicorns? As I walked to the throne room I saw a guard.

“Could you find me a quill and parchment by any chance?”

He pointed me directly to the throne room and explained the royal library would sate my plight. I thanked him and left in that direction. I quickly deflected the thought of going another way or turning around. I stood in front of the giant wooden door. As if I didn’t feel small enough, it towered over me by several feet.

Breath in.

Breath out.

I slowly pushed the door open and found myself in front of Celestia. She looked at me expectantly, which almost made me feel like a criminal. What the hell was I thinking?

“Hello Callum. Do you have something to tell me?”

My eyes scanned from left to right and I could feel the sweat raining from my face. Gritting my teeth and tightening my lips locking my diminishing confidence behind them. I closed my eyes and slowly pried them open.

“Yes.”

“Well, go on.” She really looked concerned now. Which made me feel even more pressure.

“T-that thing that I wanted to tell you was…”I gulped. “I...I” There’s no way out of this. If I can’t lie to Twilight or Applejack then how the hell was I supposed to lie to Princess Celestia of all ponies? But, if she finds out about what I’ve been doing I could be toast. If I do lie it might buy us enough time to legally prove the harmlessness of my actions before she finds out. Here goes nothing. Dammit, I told my mother I would do the right thing. I’ve disrupted Lyra’s friendship, I’ve hurt Twilight's feelings and here I am trying to convince myself to lie to the pony who literally ripped a hole in the universe just to make my dreams come true. Even if every event from here on out ends in a disaster, I could at least do this one important thing right.

Breath in.

Breath out.

“Princess.” I said. She looked at me inquisitively. “I-I’ve been having sex with some of the residents here.”

I knew this feeling. I knew it from when I first met Applejack to when Twilight had pulled me aside after my first meeting with Fluttershy. Something about the way she looked communicated that she really didn’t like what I said. Disappointment. Anger. Calm. It was almost uncanny, yet I could see the stilted transition like an animator flipping through unfinished work. Her spectra flared uncontrollably. I felt my heart stop for a moment as her brief glare shot straight through my heart like a bullet. She flicked her chin up and burst into a hysterical laugh. Bubbles of pinkish red laughter spectra exploded from her. Rather than clumping and evaporating, the spectra bumped and exploded. A rather odd detail I had to peel my eyes off of to make sure I didn’t further compromise my intrapersonal security.

“Really? That’s all you had to tell me?” she said wiping a tear from her face. I could feel a hint of anger in her voice.

“W-well yeah.”

“Oh, Callum. You looked like you were going to pass out for a moment.”

The rusty red aura wiggled and vibrated from her. It gave me a strong sense of betrayal. It was troubling, but the fact that I wasn’t instantly incinerated for my misdeeds was a blessing in and of itself. I wiped the sweat off my brow.

“Why don’t you call Twilight over to the dinning hall? I’m sure she’d get a laugh out of this little story.”

I nodded breathing a heavy sigh of relief. I’ve never felt happier in my life. I felt like I was floating my way to the library. Twilight sat at a desk with her face stuffed in an oversized book.

“Hey Twilight, what are you reading?”

“The Finished Works of Starswirl the Bearded. Did you know that the wormhole spell you came here from was actually derived from the one in this very book?”

“No wonder why it looks so tiring to use. By the way, what would that actually do to a unicorn?”

“Well, according to starswirl, the spell was so powerful that he couldn’t control it and ended up becoming trapped in it.”

“Holy shit...I’m guessing it’s a lot safer to use now, especially for a pony like Celestia.”

“I’m surprised she’s even able to keep the sun up. It could take months to fully recover from something like that.”

“Oh…Speaking of recharging. Celestia invited us to go eat.”

We chatted on the way to the dining room. Memories of when I first came to equestria flooded back into my headspace. As we waited for our food, twilight and I engaged in various conversations ranging from her fillyhood memories to the changeling attack on the castle. At last our food arrived, but I wasn’t quite ready to indulge yet because something was still on our mind.

"So earlier today, I told her about the thing."

"You mean that thing?" her voice escalated.

"Yeah, that thing."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Twilight yelled.

“I know you’re worried. I’m worried too, but it’s best that we try not to panic. ”

“Worried doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. This is bad like, really bad. If-” She cut herself off with her own hoof.

“Luna told me that everything would be fine and Celestia was weird." As I said that her face morphed into absolute madness. "But hey, I'm not a smoldering pile of ash right?”

“That's horrible! She probably invited you here so she could listen in on us on her way back from Luna’s room.”

I could clearly picture a tinfoil hat on her head. I almost made me laugh for a second.

“You’re being paranoid, and besides, even if she is I have a mostly solid backup plan for worst case scen--mmm.”

She quickly stuffed the handkerchief wrapped around my neck into my mouth. She looked left to right briefly and shushed me. I shrugged my shoulders and decided I was better off just eating my food than trying to argue with her. That I did. The pancakes left my stomach inflated like the balloon Twilight came to Ponyville on. I was practically dragging a cinder block around just trying to move.

“We should get back to ponyville as soon as possible.”

“Yes! Let’s get going!”

She very hurriedly scurried back to the library and I slogged much farther behind. I still had to tell Luna some important things. Of course I had to make absolutely sure it got to Luna safely. As I grabbed the quill I braced myself. If I told Luna about Spicy Scoops injury she’d definitely investigate and Night Eyes was obviously very uncomfortable with what happened. I wouldn’t feel right just ratting her out like that. I walked to Luna’s door with the note in hand and slipped it underneath. On my way out I ran into Celestia again.

“Princess, with all due respect, what are you doing here?”

“Hello Callum.” she said pulling a bundle of tickets out of her crown. “This will get you back home.”

“Thanks.”

“It was my pleasure, thank you for coming. I hope to hear more from you soon.”

We exchanged farewells and stayed on my path. The interaction was so strange that the weirdness resided on my face, slowly sliding off like the grime on a jalopy. Just outside of the castle I saw Berry and Heart giggling to each other about something. I caught up to them and they looked at me, unable to contain their laughter, they snickered some more. Not knowing whether or not I was going to like or hate what I was going to hear, I opened my mouth.

“What are you two laughing about?”

“Well let’s just say we were just sharing some...retrospective evaluations.” Healthy Heart said hardly able to retain her laughter.

“That’s one way to put it.” Berry added.

“Retrospective evaluations?” I asked with a very inquisitive look on my face.

“You know, about...your performance.”

Suddenly it hit me faster than an orgasm. Of course they were talking about sex.

“Geez Cal, you’re more dense than usual today. What’s going on?”

“Eh...It just reminds me of what happened with Celestia.”

I hated that I had to recount those events a 3rd time today, it just made me feel that much more uncomfortable about it. I felt like I was covered in mud and had no way to wash it off. The azure mare seemed indecisive at first, her eye kept darting between her friend and me. She closed her eyes and then her lips curved into a devilish smile and her friends reaction was pretty much the exact opposite. Berry punched my knee playfully.

“Well aren’t you a curt colt.”

“Oh no, this is awful...” Heart muttered

“Calm down Heal it’s clearly not his ghost we’re talking to. I just checked.”

“Yeah, but I want too…” She blushed and shot a troubling averted gaze. It made my heart quell.

“H-Hey, maybe we’re better off talking about sex?”

“How about something much better than just talking?”

Berry nodded and beckoned me to come along. Her confrere followed her without a word. She seemed to know where the flirtatious mare was taking me. The fact that they weren’t telling me anything was making me, a little bit on the nervicited side. While I liked sexcapades as much as the next guy, I liked knowing as much.

After dragging me around for longer than it would take to learn a few foreign languages, we finally made it. The gargantuan baroque mansion in front of me had to be the second largest building in Canterlot. The first one had to be the one that held the price tag. I couldn’t help but find it a little strange that they brought me to a place like this. I decided to keep my mouth shut for this, because it looks like there’s something to show for it.

She flashed a quiet smile as the risque rascal give the intricately designed door a good knock. The apprehension built faster than a lego enthusiast on Adderall as I heard hooves clacking and a door knob clicking. Slowly the door opened..and wow. She was tall and slender, her body was roughly in the shape of Celestia. She had a glowing white coat her ruffled pink mane to the left drifted with my eyes. Her ass was more pronounced than the short “A” sound in a southern accent. She definitely had the prettiest face I’ve ever seen. It was very definitively curved into a pleasantly symmetrical rounded V. Her cheek bones had just enough volume to make her bright indigo-violet eyes explode from her face.

Her image was etched carefully and flawlessly onto my cerebrum. My penis on the other hand, couldn’t decided whether or not to burst out of the belt and hook her towards me, or try to launch me like an unsuspected pogo stick. It definitely tried to do both and was--to our mutual dismay--restrained by my pants. I heard the uproarious laugh of my company of two slowly fade in as I tuned into reality. The mare in front of me slightly giggled as well. I was already blushing so the only thing in me that changed was the feeling of embarrassment.

“C’mon sugar, she wants to hear your introduction, not see it.” She said elbowing my waist

“W-well, I’m Callum Jamison, the ambassador of planet earth. What’s your name?”

“My name is Fleur De Lis. You don’t strike me as much of a diplomat, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“To be fair, that wasn’t entirely my fault.” I said scratching my head.

“I get that everytime a stallion runs into a streetlight.” she said flicking her hair.

“Well at least you’re giving my friend Healthy Heart plenty of business.”

“Hey, mild to severe head trauma is a serious issue.” Heart interjected playfully

We laughed for a bit. More quips were exchanged and the conversation continued inside. The place felt even bigger on the inside. The entrance fountain was like something out of secret agent movie, but then again entrance fountains are kind of like that to begin with. Of course, knowing the chauffeur, she didn’t take me here for a tour. We soon found ourselves in a lavish bedroom. I was happy to know where this was going. I really needed to get away from today.

“Well, go at it Lis, I trained him well.”

“Please…” I added laying on the bed with an alluring pose. I held a recently retrieved flower in my mouth for effect.

“Well, I don’t know Berry.”

“Why’s that?”

“I know you’re trying to make me feel better and all, but…”

“But what?” I softly interjected.

“Nevermind…” she added looking towards the floor regrettably.

The tall and elegant mare inched herself closer and closer to the bed. Her hooves shaking ever so slightly as she approached. This odd black scribbly aura came off of her. Her discomfort reminded me of when I talked to Celestia earlier today. I cringed at the memory looking away as if not to send the wrong signals. I also got a lot more uncomfortable as the aura grew and jagged olive green lights sprouted from the black tangled mess. My eagerness to proceed was diminishing. After a few minutes she worked herself onto the bed. Her friends looked at her with a look of regret.

“Hey Berry this doesn’t sound like a good idea anymore.” Heart whispered to her confrere.

“You’re right, but I don’t think we can change her mind.”

“It’s not too bad. Just like the old days right?” She said laughing uneasily.
Her unease was really starting to get to me. The more she tried to hide her discomfort, the more it showed. I was really starting to catch wind of it myself.

“I’m starting to get some weird vibes right now.”

“What’s wrong?”

I started to get up. She looked at me with rather sad eyes. My penis was pulsating from my pants, begging me to just hurry up and plow her. I tried my hardest to push myself away from those thoughts, but the more I tried the harder it was. I could feel my desires slowly getting the better of me. With a flash of blue my will to deny them any further was gone. I laid with my side on the bed and combed through her mane with my right hand only to reveal the large bruise on her forehead. I acknowledged it in the moment, but saw it only as nothing more than something to avoid during foreplay.

I turned over and put a hand on her cheek. Her pupils filled her eyeballs with surprise. She let out a quick gasp that decayed as quickly. The two mares slowly made their way out of the room. I brought my attention back to the lady of the hour. She looked down and then back at me with half closed eyes. She reached over to my crotch area shaking the whole way through. She was acting like Fluttershy, which really threw me into high gear. I unzipped my pants, working them off hurriedly and tossing them aside. It’s a good thing I decided to go commando today. I moved my foot so I could lay in an open leg position. She pulled herself forward so that she’d be lying right next to my face. Her legs positioned so that all she had to do was pull herself up onto my cock.

I could feel her soaking wet entrance on the base of my penis. I moved my hands down her soft furry shoulders and onto her flank. I gave her ass a squeeze. I massaged her cutie mark with my forefingers. I pulled my hands back up to her thighs so I could feel her boobs. I was never much of a “horse boob” kind of guy, but for this one I made an exception. They were practically human sized. I circled her areolas with my index finger and gave the big boob a squeeze. Her entire face ripened with excitement. Her legs shivered and she cooed. I felt the cool feeling of the paper white mare’s juices flowing down my balls constantly like a river. My cock throbbed rubbing against her labia urging more fluids out of her body.

I decided that it was finally time. I grabbed onto her ass and with the help of her thighs pulled her on top of my cock. I winced at the shock. While I didn’t catch the abnormally loud squeal, it decided it was going to stay in my ears. Her vagina fit my cock like a glove. Unlike a glove it (To be continued) I pulled her face in for a kiss which she only caught at the last minute. My tongue wrapped around hers like it had a black belt in jiu jitsu. I felt her pussy coming up a few inches and then crashing back down. She tossed her pink mane back as she broke the kiss. The mare pulled her waist from my cock and turned around backwards instead for a reverse cowgirl position.

I grabbed her butt with both hands and let her do her thing. Her back wiggled left to right when she bounced pulling my penis back and forth. The tight grip of her juicy corridors were starting to get the better of me. My cock was like a stirring spoon and her sweet honey pot was the one doing the stirring. Her waist moved masterfully, and I was more than okay to let her drive. She bounced like a pogostick. Going higher and higher with each bounce. She went so high that she a few inches off of my cock and back down. I couldn’t keep up with her energy. My orgasm was quickly approaching. She bounced off of my cock again, but this time it throbbed towards me causing her to push it down in my direction before I came.

“Fuck.” I muttered

Yikes. My suit had strings of my own sticky white cum hanging from it. I almost felt like that was a metaphor for something. It was iced finely like a desert. Fleur wasn’t paying attention and she kept rubbing labia up the base of my cock pumping more cum from it. I even had some hanging off of my chin. I was stunned with a look of disgust at the mess I made. She looked back at me with shock.

“Oh my, I’m sorry.”

“It’s no big deal, we had a good time didn’t we?”

“Well…”

Oh shit. She didn’t cum. I felt kind of guilty for that. I gestured her to lay on her back and I fingered her until she blasted me with her juices. She then blasted me with apologies. I asked her where I could get my clothes washed. She sent me to a bucket with a stick and told me that it would be easier to explain if I didn’t bring it to the dry cleaner. After giving my clothes much needed attention, I was left shirtless. At least it was easier to fit in now. There were a few things on my mind.

On my way through that maze of a house, I ran into Berry Blast and Healthy Heart chatting on the entryway fountain.

“Hey Cal, did you have fun?”

“Yes and no.” I said then going to explain what happened to my suit. I was predictably laughed at.

“Did you get too excited to take it off or somethin’?”

“Yeah, something like that. Anyways, what’s with the Fleur De Lis?”

“Well that’s up to her to reveal sugar.” she solemnly replied.

We walked back up to Fleur’s rooms and we saw her looking mournfully at a picture of a foal and a stallion. It was a quiet moment. After all I went through today, that was all I could ask for. With this all I could do was ponder. What will Celestia do? What will I hear from Fleur? What happened to Spicy Scoops and what does Night Eyes have to do with it? There’s was a lot on my mind. But for now, it was better for me to be still.

Author's Note

YIKES! Writing this author's note is going to put me a few minutes past my deadline, but I don't really care. I would have been fine that power surge hadn't killed everything for a few hours, so I'll be comfortable in that at least. But more about the struggles of writing the chapter later. For now thank you for reading and I'll catch you guys on the follow up blog post.

Chapter 1 : Earth to Equestria [Remake]

Chapter 1: Earth To Equestria Remastered

“Today is the big day.” I said to myself as I scrounged my room for things I wanted to take with me on my trip. I found and packed most of the stuff I wanted, my sketch pad, notebook, clothes, toiletries and the camera my mom bought me with some of the money the government gave us. As I carefully examined my shelf, I found the picture me and my friends took together. “Can’t forget that.” I thought to myself putting the picture in my backpack. I wish they could have come, but the wormhole spell is too unstable.

“Callum! Are you ready yet dear?” My mom called out.

“Just a minute!”

I can’t keep her waiting, we had a long car ride ahead of us and we needed to be there at seven. I rolled my luggage out the door. I soon found myself sinking in the seat of my mom’s dusty old Sudan. First there was the roar of the engine, then white noise from the old radio tunes and we were off. I rolled down the window. The howling breeze and the sun's warm rays created a comfortable contrast that could only a summer afternoon could provide. Now knowing that nature was on my side, I couldn’t help but think of all the other wonderful things today could possibly bring. Blandly colored cars zoomed past us. Their dull, repetitive hues complemented the road. I couldn’t help but notice the silence. This didn’t feel right.

“Is something wrong mom?”

“I remember 3 days ago...when you brung the Princess into our home. I really didn’t think it’d be this soon.”

“I know, but this is beyond anything I’ve ever dreamed of.”

“I’ll be just fine. I’m just worried dear, that’s all.”

I understood where she was coming from. Being alone amongst a crowd and silently asking for someone to join you. I can’t imagine what she’ll feel when I’m gone. Our family lives out of state, dad’s gone and now I’m next in line. It seems like saying goodbye will be harder than I thought. I feel guilty, but this is the responsibility that I have taken from the moment I gained contact with Celestia.

As we arrived closer and closer to the capital the lack of activity become even more apparent. After being seated for hours on the listless melancholy road trip, we pulled up at the government complex. At the bottom of the intimidating stack of stairs was our bubble-bellied governor, Harry Malner, who was dressed in a slick black suit. He had an aroma of old books and overpriced cologne. He wore a fake smile on his face that must’ve been conditioned through years of customer service experience. He gave us a firm handshake and a hearty pat on the back.

“Good evening, it’s a mighty fine pleasure to have y’all here.” he said

“Well, It’s a mighty fine pleasure to be here sir.” my mom replied.

“Are you sure no one is here?”

“Not within a half mile radius.”

“So where’s the princess?”

“She’s just up the stairs.”

He led us up to the top of the stairs where Celestia stood monumentally. Her grandeur and sagaciousness were exemplified under the shadow of the capitol building. Next to her was a pony, who I assume is Equestria’s ambassador. She had a round face and big fluffy cheeks that I had to put myself in a mental straightjacket to avoid tugging on. Her short creamy yellow fur complemented the canary-tinted tips of her upper-mane whose colors gradually got warmer the further back they went. While her upper-mane clawed forward towards her right ear, her lower-mane curled 3 times down her back getting progressively larger, curlier, and cooler in color with each gyration. Her horn was long and sharp enough to induce aichmophobia. Her eyes were a deep shade of apple red that to sparkled intensely, even under the absence of light. I couldn’t help but get lost in them. Just describing her from the head to hoof was putting me on the verge of a very awkward boner.

“Heya” She said abruptly interrupting my thought process. Caught off guard, I shook my head to regain my focus. Her smile was stretched to the ends of the horizon.

“Hey.” I said failing to contain the awkwardness of the moment.

“You okay there?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She gave me a lighthearted giggle. I briefly caught her infectious giggle, but I killed it off much quicker than she did.

“Callum, Lauren, I would like you all to meet my wonderful ambassador ‘Polly Chroma’!” She announced pointing towards Polly with her hooves.

“Hello, how do ya do?” My mom asked shaking Polly’s hoof with both hands.

“I’m fine miss.” she responded

“Hey, good luck out there.” I said shaking her hoof.

Her smile returned. It was definitely softer than you’d expect a horse’s hoof to be and the reasonably trimmed fur on it was silky smooth. Now that I think of it, the ponies didn’t look too far from what I imagined their fictional counterparts would be.

“I hope that one day, my little ponies and the humans of Earth can become great friends.”

“I’m certain we will princess.” said the Harry nodding in agreement.

“Callum, make sure you have everything taken care of before we leave.”

I nodded to her before turning to my mother. Her sheer will must’ve desperately tried to hold her together the way she shook. I couldn’t just leave without a word because silence leaves open wounds. I gave my mom the biggest surprise hug she’s probably ever gotten. “You be good. Ya here?” she told me. “I’ll be good.” I said with confidence. She broke the hug and said “That’s my boy.” Her tears dried on my shoulder and she wore a great big smile. I felt warm and fuzzy on the inside, It was a homely feeling. Celestia shot me with a very subtle smirk was almost like a pat on the back.

“I’m ready.” I told Celestia.

“Everypony stand back.”

Her horn sparked sending off tiny yellow embers before igniting into a an inferno of oscillating energy. A ghostly white bolt of energy zipped through the air. Seams in the fabric of space were set asunder. The unearthly wail of reality was quickly drowned out by Celestia’s magic. A flat wall of distorted space stood in front of us. I stepped forward quickly, closed my eyes and fell in.

And suddenly...

A soft thud. I rubbed my head rolling over from the pain. The last thing I remember was Celestia signaling me to go forward. It felt as if there were dull jolts of static all over my body. I could hear crackling thunder being muffled by the mechanical hum of the princess’ powerful magic ringing in my ears.The grass below me glided against my arms. I opened my eyes. Everything went blurry while things slowly unfocused. I took a deep breath. It was pure. The steam that went between my nostrils, seamlessly flowed through my body. Celestia suddenly blocked out the sun landing in the grass right in front of me. She staggered on the landing, her legs wobbled like shoddy table. Against the odds she managed maintain her position. She watched me as I slowly got up. What I saw, was a botanical wonderland. Hedges created surrounded the perimeter. Bright green grass, vividly colored plants whose unorthodox biology boggled the mind and an exotic assortment of animals. Celestia’s calm smirk caught my attention.

“Callum Jamison, I--Princess Celestia--formally welcome you to the land of Equestria.” She said in a loud and pronounced voice I dubbed her “royal voice.”

“Holy fuck, this place is incredible!”

I sheepishly laughed at the outburst of profanity. She giggled at my enthusiasm. We took a short walk through the garden to hidden entrance in the back. I felt numb to reality, almost as if everything was some crazy elaborate dream. We had entered a room in the back of the castle, where a guard had taken my bag, before setting foot into the main hall. The stain glass windows reflected rainbows of light onto Celestia’s shimmering fur. A row of armored guard ponies stood in two perfectly straight rows on the edges of the gold-trimmed red carpets. Not a single guard dared to bat an eye or look away for just one moment. The sounds of my shoes and her hooves reverberating from the ground were the only noises to be accountable.

“Is this where I’ll be living?”

“No, you’ll be living with my student, Twilight Sparkle, in a town called Ponyville.“

I nodded in understanding. As we approached the end of the hallway, Celestia stopped--and instinctively--so did I. A pony who looked like an old English nobleman came out of a room on the side holding a black box. He bowed on one hoof as he held the box to the Princess who lifted the box with her magic. She held the box towards me and undid the seal. Revealing a tiara. It had waves of silver protruding from each side pulling towards the center. The edges were gilded thick layers with that shimmered like a coastal sunset. The centerpiece was a glistening red ruby with my name engraved in the silver curls around it. I couldn’t help but stare in awe.

“This is our welcoming gift to you from our great land. It was handcrafted by the greatest craftsmares in all of Equestria. I hope you like it.” she proudly stated.

“Thank you princess. This is amazing!” I said placing the metallic carona into my puffy hair.

Excitement flowed through my bloodstream. I could feel the electricity coursing through my veins. However odd it was that I was wearing a tiara, was negligible when weighed against the sheer value this item holds. This is a priceless treasure and something that will not see past my jurisdiction.

“It was my pleasure. Now let’s get going, shall we?”

As we approached the outside of the castle, my stomach growled.

“Sounds like someone is hungry.”

“Yeah, can we grab something to eat?”

Celestia nodded and brought me to the royal kitchen. Obviously it was quite large, with one massive--what must’ve been--20 foot rectangular table reaching the ends of the room. It was surrounded by fancy golden chairs and topped with unnecessarily detailed silverware that was coated in gems and rare metals. I took a seat on the longside of the table facing Celestia.

The our plates were dressed with a variety of vegetables whose colors put the stained glass windows to shame. Ornamented with an amalgamation of spices and seasonings that made the hairs in my nose dance a samba. The steamy air warmed my face like a sauna. The oh-so anticipated embrace of the dish massaged my palate tickling my throat on the way down.

“You’ll have to forgive my sister for her absence. She couldn’t stay awake for your arrival.”

“Will she come to visit me in my dreams?”

“That’s certainly a possibility, but she has a lot of paperwork to do.”

I dug my fork into my food. The the plate-fork reunion resulted in a cute plink. It was hard to keep my head up with the plate in front of me.

“Speaking of paperwork, is that what I’ll be doing?”

“Well yes, but there's a lot more to your job than that.”

“Then why not choose someone more qualified, like someone with a college degree?”

“College degree?”

“It’s a certificate you get that shows that you’ve gone through the highest level of school on Earth.

“That’s interesting...” she said with a hoof on her chin. “But with or without it, I know that you have the ability to meet my expectations.”

I smiled sheepishly at the sternly assured princess. Millions of questions flew around my head, like swarm of flies not one of which could I catch. It felt good to know she believed in me, but I’m certainly not a politician. I scooped up the last bit of veggies and carefully savored them. As they fell into the gastrointestinal abyss, the loving embrace of the succulent flavor was no more.

“Thank you for the food princess.”

“You’re welcome Callum.”

We went to the back of a castle where Celestia lead me to a large stoney wall. She then revealed a cave behind it with a flash of her horn. I took a seat in the small and overly luxurious train car. The ceiling of the car barely evaded arms reach. Celestia took a seat alongside me and pulled a lever that hung from the ceiling with her magic. I examined the iridescent crystals that lined the cave walls as the train drag itself along the track. I felt a rush of momentum as the train hit a steep incline. Eroded holes dotted the cave’s walls like Swiss cheese revealing the expansive countryside. The glowing crystals protruding from the cave’s mouth like the teeth obstructed the view. I caught a blurry glimpse of what looked like a small town in the distance. I couldn't help but feel intense apprehension creeping up my shoulder.

“Princess?”

She turned her head slightly in my direction. She had bits of concern sprinkled in the curiosity in her eyes.

“Don't you have some kind of cloaking spell we could use when we get to Ponyville?”

“Why?”

“I’m kind of nervous about this. I mean how will the residents react to seeing some weird hairless monkey walking around?”

“It's only natural to feel that way Callum. I'm certain everypony will get used to you very quickly.”

Not the kind of answer I was comfortable with, but she was probably right about this. I stared out the window of the train waiting silently to reach my destination.

The clacking of the train finally came to a stop. I walked to the front and opened the door for Celestia to make her way through. The ticketmaster’s eyes widened as I stepped out of the train car. He seemed quite shaken by my appearance. Beyond that, I couldn’t help but notice the a faint tinge of burgundy around his naturally grey fur. Odd…I pretended like he wasn’t there and walked to the town’s entrance. There, Twilight Sparkle greeted us.

“Welcome to Ponyville Mister Jamison” she yawned out. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s student.”

Her balance was off and she struggled to stand still. She'd blink significantly longer than normal and her were adorned with dark circles. It was definitely an eye raiser.

“You seem like you could really use some sleep.” I said with concern

Her eyelids slowly clamped together. “Good morning sunshine” I said poking her snout to wake her up. Her eyes slowly opened to Princess Celestia and she jumped as if she had seen a ghost. She hurriedly shook the sleep out of her system which forced a laugh out of the princess.

“AH! What are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine.” she blurted “Anyways, I guess we’d better get going!” she said beckoning me to come with her. Celestia nodded and we exchanged farewells before she flew off into the sunset. I and the fatigued unicorn ventured into the town. The multi-colored cobblestone roads extended no further than half a city block. Houses had an oddly primitive vibe to them. Walled off with a wooden frame and stoney exterior and topped off with a head of bright yellow hay. The citizens were a lot calmer than I expected, though they seemed mildly weirded out by my appearance. Likewise, I was quite stirred as well, but moreso by the innumerable amount of cute mares that roamed the streets. My eyes bounced forward and down again in fear of the inevitable erection that I’d have to explain. I couldn’t help but notice the uneven rhythm of Twilights walk. It felt so unnatural see such an orderly pony like Twilight be tired at this time of the day.

“Hey Twilight.” I said. “I’m curious. Why are you so tired?”

“I’m sorry. I stayed awake trying to make sure everything was perfect for your arrival.” She said yawning out the end of that. “There was just so much to do.”

“You didn’t need to hurt yourself in the process.”

“Well, I couldn’t just let the Princess down.”

It was still rather concerning for me, but it wasn’t the best idea to press any further on the topic. A couple of turns and a needlessly long street later and we found ourselves on the way to the Carousel Boutique. It was unusually disconnected from the thoroughly connected Ponyville. It’s incredibly out of place location was befitting of it’s design. It looked like something out of Canterlot. It was castle-like. It was significantly more detailed than I imagined it would be. The complexity of each pattern engraved into the walls intrigued me as much as it bewildered me.

“This is the Carousel Boutique run by my friend Rarity.” She said dragging herself over to open the door. The door slowly slid open and her eyes slowly closed. The chingling entry bell made her jump in astonishment. Rarity turned her head to who was visiting. My heart pummeled my rib cage. I involuntarily scanned her. I tried to pull my eyes away but they were magnetized to the beauty that stood before them. Her shimmering white coat. Her vivid violet mane scrolled down her right on the front and to the left down her back. Her chest was pronounced and her under belly curved to complement it. Her rump was bulbous and obnoxiously expository, yet so thoroughly defined and tight. So much so that it singled out my attention and everything blurred around it. My face was now a salty waterfall of embarrassment and immense sexual arousal.

“Hello Rarity, this is Callum and he’s the ambassador of his homeworld Earth.” Twilight announced signaling us to shake. I treated her hoof meticulously, her hooves were particularly softer and her fur was silkier than any of the ponies I’ve touched so far barring Celestia.

“Nice to meet you Callum, I’m Rarity.”

“I-It’s nice to meet you too. M-Miss Rarity.”

She attempted to hold in a giggle which quickly started to bubble over. My eyes were on the case to discover the source of the comedy. The moment I looked down is when it stuck out. A well supported tent was pointing at the laugher. Poignant dread built up in my system like a witch’s brew braising over a fire.

There’s no way...

She could tell, couldn’t she?

“It’s an an-” I blurted. The shame and defeat of the untimely erection, pole vaulted from said erection to bring my mind back to reality. Oh god, she knew. “I’m am so. So. So. Sorry Miss Rarity.”

“No need to apologize dear. I find it quite flattering, really.”

The rest of her laughter sputtered out. Well, it’s a lot better than anything else that could have come out of that situation. A mountain of stress was lifted from my chest. I noticed Twilight was out like a light so I shook her. She bolted up from shock. We then continued to survey the boutique. Soon accompanied by Rarity’s pedantic and epical pontifications about her creations and the sounds of hoof and shoe reverberating on the eggshell white floor. There was a variety of different types of clothing around. I didn’t understand a thing about their designs, but hearing her overwhelming insight bedazzled me.

“So are you going to be making my clothing?”

“Why yes I’m the only seamstress and fashion designer in all of Ponyville.”

“The only one?”

“Well yes, Ponies don’t wear clothes as casually as you earth...uh. Monkeys?” she said. I quickly corrected her.

“Well, it’s good to know I won’t be walking around naked, especially with...that. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not a problem my dear. I am the element of generosity after all. I just need a sample of your clothing so that I may replicated it.”

I complied to her orders. I pulled out a shirt, a pair of pants and some underwear and held it up for her to grab. She ignited her horn and pulled the garments out of my hands. It had the same staticky feeling that going through the portal had. She had a face that was a dangerous mix of abject horror and disgust.

“The abysmal thread count, the simple, lifeless design, the rough fabric and dull colors! What horrible atrocity must one commit to be sentenced to an attire of such mediocre quality! This is a crime against fashion! You may continue browse my boutique, but I must get to work.”

“Thanks Rarity, but we need to get going.” Twilight said.

“Have fun you two. And do not fret Callum, I will do everything in my power correct this terrible injustice!” she

"Thank you, Miss Rarity."

"No need to thank me dear, any fashionista of dignity would do the same."

Farewells were exchanged and we left Rarity’s establishment with the door shut behind us. I laughed heartily for a while. Rarity’s histrionic outburst always made me laugh. We quickly found ourselves back into the town square. Not too far from which was Sugar Cube Corner, our next destination. The building had the same delicious gingerbread house aesthetic it was known for. Unfortunately, upon closer inspection what appeared to be gingerbread was really brick and the cream was made of some kind of cleverly sculpted white stone. I turned my attention to Twilight who appeared to be sleep walking on the way to the door. I quickly opened it for her to stumble into the suspiciously dark bakery. I stopped her in place which woke her up.

The door closed behind us…

And if this means what I think it means…

Before my sense could height-”SURPRISE!” cheered a familiar pink pony as the lights suddenly turned on.

The initial shock sent me headfirst into the short ceiling. A cannon sounded through the air as confetti, smoke and streamers filled the room before settling down. Before my mind could come back to Equestria, Pinkie tackled me into the wall. I was in dire pain but it was hard to be mad--or in pain for that matter--with a smile so wide and so genuine consuming your field of vision. I can’t lie, she was quite cute (not quite comparable to Rarity, mind you), but there was only one problem with that.

The fact that she was laying on me with her snout pushing against my nose. She smelled strongly of cake mix and bubble gum. If she was any further back then she’d be on my dick and it was probably just as--if not--more excited than she was. This was more-or-less a circus act and I was the clown on display. Unfortunately, there was no nose to honk, so this was starting to get very awkward. I had to make sure this situation got as far away from sexual as possible.

“Hi mister alien guy! Welcome to Ponyville! I’m Pinkie Pie! I love throwing super-duper awesome parties! What’s your name?” she said. The words fired out of her mouth like a gatling gun.

“I-I’m Callum, Callum Jamison. It is certainly...pleasant to meet you too Pinkie. Now would you mind...?” I awkwardly sputtered out. My face was blatantly painted with embarrassing discomfort.

She quickly got up and backed off of me so that I could stand. I dusted myself off and let out a sigh of relief. The pink pony bounced up and down like a rubber ball. I attempted to disguise the immense pain, which was just as fruitless as disguising my pendulous erection.

“Oh no, I’m super sorry about that. I was just so excited.”

“No problem.” I groaned in agony. “I think.”

“Don’t worry I’m just as excited.” I said scratching my injured cranium.

“I can tell!” she said in a voice that sounded like she was going to explode laughing.

Indeed she did explode into a combustious chortle and I was left glowing through my caramel colored skin. I felt the pressure return and began to perspire profusely for the second time. It had me feeling parched.

“I’m gonna go and grab some punch. Why don’t you wake up Twilight over there?”

“Oki doki loki!”

She sprang off to find Twilight and I went off to drown my abundant thirst in some punch. I ladled the red juice into a paper cup and took a long exaggerated sip. It was decent, but it was a little too far on the sweet side. There were varying emotions from the ponies in the room, mostly discomfort. There was a minty colored mare paying special attention to me though. I could feel her gaze piercing my skin. I took a quick glance towards the source and turned before we could make complete eye contact. Though I still felt it. The genuine sympathy and compassion she had in those large golden eyes of hers. I tapped the tip of my foot against the floor and drank a little faster. She broke away from her friend and approached me with a bumpy welcome. As far as looks goes, she’s not half bad either.

She had an anxious look on her face, but she was still grinning. It was nothing short of adorable. Her cyan cheeks glowed a deep red as she blew the hair out of her eyes. I noticed a subtle aura of a swampy green around her. I smiled back which seemed to make her slightly more comfortable with the situation. Finally, I decided to break the ice.

“Hey, I’m Callum.”

“I’m L-Lyra, er, Lyra Heartstrings, that is.”

Under the vulnerabilities, her voice was sweet as honey. Yet it was as soft like a fluffy pillow on the ears. It was mellifluous and soothing, yet meek. Her voice was a beautiful harmonious dichotomy that was like diving into an puny, yet intense fire. Front loaded with warm, tender modesty and driven by an elusive force of explosive and inspiring confidence. It ignited a fire that braised my gut and warmed my heart. I filled a cup and passed it over. She picked it up with her magic, which was incredibly unstable. She panicked a bit spilling the juice on her chest.

“Are you okay?”

“Sorry…”

Instinctively, I grabbed a cloth from the table and wiped her off.

“It’s fine, just try to be more careful next time.”

She nodded and I filled up another cup or her, which she successfully contained.

“So...how are you doing?” she asked with a tilt of the head.

“I’m a little banged up from Pinkie sending me into a wall, but overall I’m pretty good. Of horse, I would have liked a sweeter greeting, but that wasn’t exactly impied by the lunge.”

“Yeah, that didn’t look too fun.” she said. Her eyes quickly bounced to the bottom left corner. “Or um...I would say that if you hadn’t reacted as if everything was in tact.”

We both laughed briefly. I took the time to wipe the excess sweat which remained on my face with my shirt.

“I still can’t believe she actually acts like this.”

“Yeah, Pinkie is quite the oddball.”

“Noted.”

I took another moment to examine the room. Everypony’s attention centered onto us. A pony who I recognized as Bon Bon especially. She was as watchful as a hawk, yet she looked thoroughly peeved like someone pissed in her oats.

“Is your friend okay? She seems...upset.”

“She’s fine, she just a little riled up by you. That’s all. Trust me, she’s really sweet once you get to know her. She always has my flank when I need it. She’s like a sister to me.”

“She sounds like a pretty nice pers-I mean pony. Why didn’t she come over.”

“She’s got major trust issues when it comes to meeting new people.”

The previous mentioned of flank had brought my attention to the instrument plastered on her side. A large golden horseshoe-shaped instrument that looked a lot like a harp, but with far fewer strings. Yet, it strummed my curiosity.

“So, Lyra what do you do around here?”

“Nothing special, just playing the Lyre for money.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, you can’t make a profit from that.” I said. My mom always said stuff like that. “Besides, I’m sure there are plenty of ponies who love your music.”

“I-I’d love for you to come by sometime and hear it. An-” She said tripping over the start of her next sentence. “And m-maybe we could--I mean probably--er, only if you want to, hang out sometime?” she paused briefly and brought herself together. “I really want to get to know you.”

“Sure. It might be a few days before I can come by because I’ve got to get settled in here.”

“Oh, of course, I understand. Ah ha ha, ha ha ha ha.”

I was puzzled by her panicky reaction. She seemed a bit too worried about something. Whatever it was, it wasn’t clear enough to figure out at the moment. I left her my farewell and departed to find Twilight.

Hours had passed since we entered that part. It felt like we were only in there for 5 minutes. I doubt that Twilight wanted to go anywhere else but bed. Twilight had been looking at the clock rather anxiously throughout the whole thing. She made sure everything was cut off at around 8 PM. When we made it to Twilight’s library treehouse, she pushed the door open. Inside, was her assistant Spike rearranging books atop a ladder who stopped to see who was at the door. He slid down the bars and hurried to Twilight.

"Hey Twilight, is that the alien guy you were talking about?"

"Yes Spike, and he'll be living here with us"

"Cool! Can he shoot lasers from his arms?! Can he control the minds of ponies?!"

That’s sounded a lot like someone with their mind stuck thoroughly in the world of fiction. His eyes, just like his voice, were brimming with energy and excitement. He reminded me of myself when I first heard Celestia's voice.

"I wish I was that damn awesome." I muttered to myself. "No, I don't do either of those."

To be honest, I think we're pretty good at that last one.

"Aww, that's lame."

"Spike!" Twilight said chastising the naive purple dragon.

I can't blame him. humans can do a lot of things but we definitely don't have any sort of magic.

“Don’t mind him he’s been reading way too many comic books lately.” she said "Let’s go upstairs."

She trotted up the wooden stairs with her dragon companion pitter pattering behind her and I pulling myself behind the two. Atop the relatively short staircase was my new living space.The window was as clear as the night sky which was peppered with stars. There were a few book shelves on the wall that were not quite full of books. A plant rested in it’s pot atop a small wooden table next to the window. There was a basket with a pillow and a blanket and 2 beds with one notably longer bed that made the room feel clustered. Spike had already claimed his bed and twilight was already in hers, so I rolled into the bed that was obviously mine.

“Good night, Twilight.” I said.

“Good night Callum” she yawned rolling over and falling asleep.

I closed my eyes but I wasn’t asleep, just thinking. When will ponies get used to me? I can’t let them know I'm an omnivore or everypony will freak out. I have to start using their terminology too. I’ll get on that. Lyra seems like a nice girl, a little on the crazy side, but I’d love to get to know her. Rarity is unbelievably sexy. Pinkie is just as weird as she is in the show. I wonder if she mysteriously knew about that in the same way she mysteriously knows about other obscure things. Trying to claim that my boner was an antenna was a dumb idea. How will not-so-tired-Twilight respond to my “excitement”? Will the rest of Twilight’s friends even like me?

Then all of my thoughts faded away as I fell into the gentle hooves of slumber.

Author's Note

It's been a long time coming boys, but here it is. After seeing all the spelling and grammar issues, scenes that were good in theory, but lacking in execution and some plot points that should have, but never were addressed. I knew I had to do something, so I cooked this gem up. I'm very happy with how this turned out and I'm excited for the future of this story. You guys have been patient with chapter 4 so, yeah be prepared for that next month at the latest.

The original chapter has been unpublished, if you'd like to see it then I can send you a link via PM, but fair warning it kinda sucks.

If you have something to say positive or negative then leave in the comments below. I like constructive criticism, so try to leave that stuff down here too. Thank you for reading and have a fantastic day.