Imperial Condescension... Na)(, just kidding

by RhymesAreReason

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human
Length: 281

Leagues under the sea lies the most dangerous creature in Equus. It has been waiting millenia for the right time to strike at it's foes above sea level. Now, it rises form the dark waters. It's mission. To run a... bakery? Am I reading this right?

Legends tell of the seaponies, who mysteriously went missing millenia ago. Some claim they died due to a mysterious illness. Some claim they were hunted to extinction. Most say they never existed in the first place. None of these theories are correct. For you sea, whale the seaponies did exist, they never died.
Instead, they were lead into hiding. The above world coveted their rarity and saw them as nofin more than trophy items. It was the leadership of none other than Her Imperial Condescension that led them to safety from the air-breathers' nets. She saved them, so they serve her. She is not a cruel Empress by any stretch of the word. In fact, she is pretty tame. What laws she does occasionally pass are usually just common sense and in response to major crimes. Like, no murder, no rape, no stealing and absolutely no smoking any of Her fancy cigars. Common sense.
However, after years of being hidden away beneath the waves, Her Condescension grows bored. She's been sitting on a cushion for so many years the stone beneath has butt grooves, no joke. So, to escape the tedium, she makes the obvious decision. To move to the surface and sea what it's like. There's no way somefin can go wrong with a nine foot tall sea monster from the deep managing a bakery?
…
Right?

YO! DISCLAIMER: THIS BEE A DISPLACED STORY! FINAL WARNING!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-29 04:12:28 UTC

Unda Da Sea

"Three thousand years. That's how long I've been sitting on this underwater throne. It's also how long I've had to be a politician, and how long I've been the most bad bass ruler ever.  It is how long it took for my cushion to carve a groove into the throne. However, most importantly, it's also how long it took for me to finally get bored of my job.

Seriously, it's the same shit day in day out. There's always someone with a silly problem that could be solved in a snap if my subjects actually tried. Instead it's up to me to settle all of there problems FOR them. I don't know how that "Solaris" or whoever deals with it on the surface. Maybe ponies are smarter than fish? Who knows, not me. All I know is that it's really boring."

"And that's where you come in Miss... uh, what's your name again?" I implored expertly.

"My name is Krill, Your Condescension." Said the young Hippocampus noble before me. "I told you this three times now in this conversation alone."

"Ah, right. You're the snarky one. I knew I liked you for some reason! So, yeah. Another thing is that your people have been underwater for three thousand years without even talking about the world above."

"What does this have to do with me? I'm just a maid."

"I'm getting to that, jeeze. Anyway, I'm going to fry two fish at once with this awesome plan I totally did not just make up yesterday. I'm going to go to the surface and make a good impression with my awesome baking skills. You are my temporary replacement. Go nuts."