Caligula's Legacy

by CCC

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Adventure, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 5154

Erfworld is a world of strict rules, with sides governed - mostly - by the tribes of Man...

(Erfworld crossover)

Erfworld is a world ruled by Numbers, a world that runs as if on the mechanics of a turn-based strategy game. How far can you travel in a day? A number of hexes equal to your Move. When enough fights and you will level up, growing stronger. Magic is well known; from Predictamancers to Mathamancers, Foolamancers who fool the senses to Dollamancers who make clothes and golems. Home to giant firebreathing dwagons, hulking twolls, eight-legged spidews, most sides are ruled by the two-legged, Language-speaking tribes of Men.

Most sides.

(Previously published on the Erfworld site. Reposted here in its entirety.)

Published 2016-05-29 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-29 18:20:02 UTC

"Tell me why you are not happy."

Walk with me, ordered the Princess, rising from her throne.

Megan Faust complied, standing up and accompanying her Ruler out to the balcony. Talking with a Unit that could not, itself, talk Language was always a tricky proposition; Princess Celestia was equal to the challenge, but few others could manage their side of a conversation entirely in orders.

It did not help that there were very few units with the authority to order Megan.

Princess Celestia led Megan out to the balcony, and they looked out over the capital city of Canterlot for about half a minute in silence. Then Princess Celestia ordered again - Tell me why you are not happy

Megan hesitated only a moment. This was how conversations with her mount-turned-Ruler always went - she was not certain it was possible to hide anything from Celestia. "I... miss combat, Princess. I recognise that my... my ability to speak Language is an irreplaceable asset for our Side, and I am proud to serve, but... negotiation and diplomacy were never my joy. They are... tedious. Combat is - there is a kind of primal joy in combat. When you are facing the enemy, and the enemy is facing you - even when you have every advantage, combat is always dangerous. The most careful commander can always fall to a lucky crit. You are always playing for the highest stakes, and there is no telling whose turn it is to go to the City of Heroes. It -" Megan sighed. "It is not something which the only unit capable of negotiation on a side should risk. Even - even when all that I am doing is presenting the terms that you order me to present." Megan smiled weakly. "Did you know that some Sides are now starting to worry at the mere idea that I might negotiate with them? Apparently the phrase 'Faustian bargain' is becoming the centre of some very scary stories."

Princess Celestia turned, and raised one eyebrow. Continue to tell me why you are not happy

"I... Princess, it is... there is nothing that can be done about it."

Princess Celestia half-smiled, and gently reiterated the order.

"I am... I am isolated, Princess. Our Side has produced no units capable of Language since you became Ruler, and I have no-one to talk to. We still have a few - some stabbers, a few pikers here and there, even a couple of archers in Stalliongrad. They are... they are limited, Your Highness. I can talk to them, and they can talk to me, but I can't converse with them. I can't discuss hypotheticals, or talk strategy. I, I feel very alone. Your Highness."

Princess Celestia nodded, finally satisfied. Then she changed tack. Tell me about Princess Luna

"Princess Luna?" asked Megan. "The first warlord popped under your reign. Specialised in taking advantage of terrain and wearing a foe down before they even got to the battle. Chief Warlord, and your heir, until she unexpectedly Turned to the side of Moon. You'd sent her with a few stacks to take care of a patrol of Moon Twolls that had got a bit too close to the old Capital, but when she got there, she Turned, took out her own Stacks, stacked up with the Twolls, and led the attack that forced us to abandon the old Everfree Capital." Megan shook her head. "I'm not about to Turn, Princess. I'm feeling lonely and frustrated, not traitorous. I know how vital I am to the Side."

Princess Celestia frowned, then snorted. Stack with our newest caster in the entrance hall. Travel, as swiftly as possible, to the city of Ponyville. In case of combat, take no losses, preferring retreat where possible. Ensure that the new caster survives to take over city management duties on arrival.

Megan bowed. "Yes, your Highness." There were some things, Megan knew, which could not be easily said in orders. She wondered what it was that the Princess had been trying to say.

As she left the balcony, she received one more order. Stay alive. It was Princess Celestia's way of wishing her luck.

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"Hi! You must be Megan Faust. You are Megan Faust, right? I mean, you're a warlord with only two legs, and we've only got one two-legged warlord, right? My name's Twilight Sparkle!"

Megan stretched out a hand, hesitantly, to shake the purple unicorn's offered hoof. "You can talk," she said.

"No," said Twilight. "But I'm a Foolamancer. I can make you think that you hear me talking. And that's pretty much the same thing, isn't it?"

"I, I guess so."

"You know where we're going, right?" asked Twilight. "You've been briefed?"

Megan nodded. "I have my orders."

"Right!" Twilight nodded at a nearby pair of white pegasi. "There's a couple of forest and hill hexes between here and there, so we're going to take flying mounts most of the way there, and then walk the last eighteen hexes. Do you have enough move?"

Megan shook her head. "Not for eighteen hexes," she admitted.

"Then you'll be riding me for that portion of the journey," said Twilight, firmly. "Princess Celestia wants us in Ponyville today. Tomorrow is the thousandth Turn of her reign, and we need to have everything in order before she gets there."

Unparalleled mobility, Megan reflected, was very much an advantage of a Side that was made almost entirely of mounts.

Ponyville

"...and you'd have sworn she was angrier about the damage to our raiment than the damage to our troops!" said Megan, as they crossed the last hex boundary and entered Ponyville.

"Are dollamancers really like that?" asked Twilight. "End of the line, by the way."

Megan hopped off, walking next to the Foolamancer instead. "Not all dollamancers. Ours, yes, but I once met one who -"

A passing pink pony took one look at the two of them, leapt into the air with a loud gasp, and instantly fled.

Megan and Twilight stared. "It's never a good sign when your side's Predictamancer does that, is it?" asked Twilight.

"It's hard to tell, with her," said Megan. "I've never managed to understand a single thing she does."

"Well," said Twilight, sounding nervous. "Shall we manage the city?"

"It's been a long journey," replied Megan, "but I guess we'd better get it done."

"I'll extend my spell to translate for other ponies as well," said Twilight, "as long as I can understand them..."

"Well howdy doo, folks, and welcome to Ponyville's premier apple orchards! Or Sweet Apple Acres, as I like to call them." The bright orange mount vigorously shook Twilight's hoof. "And you can call me Applejack."

"Yes, um, quite," said Twilight. "What sort of output are you getting here?"

"Well, I've only been here a couple of turns," said Applejack. "But a little bit of dirtamancy goes a long way. I've put in a new irrigation system, fixed up the farmhouse, enriched the soil... we should be producing enough apples in here to halve the upkeep of every unit in the city!"

"Wow," said Megan. "That's incredible."

"Say what?" asked Applejack, momentarily taken aback. "How long have you been able to understand me?"

"Heeeeeeey!" called out a blue flying mount with a distinctive rainbow mane. "It's the Rider! And our new caster! I am Rainbow Dash, warlord supreme, and next in line to be chief after Spitfire! Not to mention which, I have the highest move of any unit on our side!"

"You and every other flying warlord," said Megan, frowning.

"Hey, you can understand normal people now?" asked Rainbow, nonplussed. "Heyyyyyyyy, listen, that stuff I was saying back at Cloudsdale, I promise you, I didn't really mean it, I was just -"

"It's Foolamancy," explained Twilight. "She can't understand you, but I can make her hear what I hear."

"Oh. Right. I, er, I knew that."

"So, tell me more about this 'Cloudsdale' place?" asked Twilight.

"Well, we had a bit of a campaign there a few turn ago," explained Rainbow. "They produce Cumuloons - you know, big, puffy white flying units that can take like a dozen riders apiece? Stuff 'em full of archers and you've got a kind of mobile attack platform, and it turned out we had mostly stabbers. But Cumuloons have like one hitpoint each, so I just took a spear from a stabber and in ten seconds flat -"

"If you'll excuse us," said Megan firmly, "we've had a long journey, and we have a city inspection to finish. We'll swap war stories later."

"Sure," said Rainbow, "and this time maybe you'll understand my better ones!"

"Um... may I ask exactly what it is you're doing here?" asked Twilight, cautiously.

"Not just yet, darling," said the white unicorn. "I'm in the zone, as it were... no... no... no... ah! Yes!" From a procession of green ribbons, she selected one which, to Megan's untrained eye, looked just the same as all the others, and attached it to the wall. "What I am doing," continued the dollamancer, "is adjusting the signamancy of the Tower in order to -"

She stopped as she got her first good look at Twilight.

"Darling, are you going around entirely naked?"

"...is there something the matter with that?" asked Twilight.

"Oh, darling, darling, darling, you must let me show you what a couple of good dollamantic accessories can do for you! I can get you a set of duds by the end of the day, or something a bit more elaborate by this time tomorrow..."

"And so you're the last warlord in this city?" asked Twilight.

The yellow flying warlord squeaked, covering her head with her wings.

"...and you're shy?"

squeak

"Fluttershy," explained Megan. "Afraid of fighting, but a brilliant tamer of natural allies. I don't think there's an untamed feral within twenty hexes of here."

Twilight sighed. "All right, come on Megan, let's get to our quarters. I think we've seen everything and everypony to meet here."

Megan nodded. "Coming."

Fluttershy gasped. "You can talk to her? Please, I've got to know! What's her favourite ration? Where was she popped? How old is she? Is she really older than Celestia? Can she -"

"Well, I'm glad that's finally over with," said Twilight, as she closed the door of her and Megan's shared quarters. "I am going to be so glad to get to sleep."

"Yeah, a long journey like that, and then having to meet a whole bunch of people?" agreed Megan. "It was a bit much. Where's the light in this pla-"

The lights abruptly went on, to reveal a considerable crowd of ponies, mostly in party hats, and standing around.

"Hey, Twilight!" called out the bright pink preditcamancer. "SURPRISE!"

The rest of the ponies in the room, except for Twilight, cheered loudly.

Nightmare Moon

Enemy in the hex

The sudden knowledge dropped like a lead ball into Megan's mind; and she could see it reflected in the faces of the other warlords and casters as well.

"Oh yeah!" said Rainbow, charging straight out towards the front gate - where a midnight-black flying mount/warlord hovered.

"Dash, no!" called Fluttershy. "She's five times your level!"

"MY DEAR LITTLE PONIES!" thundered the dark warlord. Megan recognised her at once - Nightmare Moon, the traitor, the Chief Warlord who had turned, hundreds of turns ago. "I come to offer you a choice! You - all of you, casters, citizens, warlords - you have the option to turn to the side of Moon. I shall return in one turn's time! On my return, any who have not turned will be annihilated!"

It was at this point that Dash, leading a max stack of flying stabbers, reached her and launched a strong, but ultimately foolhardy melee attack. Nightmare Moon's horn burst with shockamancy, knocking them from the sky before they could lay a spear on her. This was followed by a spate of archery from all the archery-capable units in the hex, led by Megan; but she evaded almost all their arrows with contemptuous ease.

"I have over two hundred Moon Twolls a mere three hexes away!" called out the enemy warlord. "You have one turn. Turn, or this night shall be your last!" And with that ultimatum, she spun about, and left the hex.

"Welp." Pinkie Pie reached into her hair and pulled out a scroll. "It's time, then."

"Time for what?" asked Megan.There was a complete, slightly shocked silence among the gathered warlords.

"You didn't tell her?" asked Rainbow.

"She said she'd been briefed!" argued Twilight.

"Didn't tell me what?" asked Megan.

Pinkie cleared her throat. "On the thousandth Turn of Celestia's reign, the stars shall aid in her escape, and she shall win a great victory."

"She?" I asked. "You mean Nightmare Moon?"

Pinkie nodded. "Great victory. Nightmare Moon. Tomorrow. Completely predicted and unavoidable."

"So... we're all going to die tomorrow?"

"Nope," said Pinkie. "Princess Celestia found a loophole in the prophecy. It doesn't say who she'd win a great victory for. So, all we have to do is persuade her to Turn back to us before the end of the night, and the great victory will be against that giant force of Moon Twolls. And... whatever else they have. She just has to Turn before dawn, so she can move enough to stack with out troops, and everything will be all hunky-dory!"

"I don't know whether you noticed," said Megan coldly, "but it's not our turn. And it won't be until after dawn tomorrow."

"Hence the scroll!" Pinkie waved it. "Bought it in the Magic Kingdom two months ago. From a Turnamancer-Carnymancer-Thinkamancer link, so boy was it expensive. This scroll grants, to one stack, of up to seven units, the ability to regain any Move unused at the end of their last turn, and to use said Move off-turn."

"So..." Megan paused to consider the implications. "One stack. Facing off against two hundred Moon Twolls, and whatever else they have in their attacking forces, with the intent of getting the warlord in charge of it all to turn?"

"Yeppers!" nodded Pinkie.

"Do you have any Turnamancy scrolls in there?"

"Nope!"

"Does anyone have any Turnamancy scrolls? Turnamancy artifacts? Anything?"

"None of us, darling," said Rarity.

"How do any of you think we even have a chance?" asked Megan.

"We'll be a led stack, of course," said Pinkie. "And -" she nodded at Twilight - "veiled. We'll just sneak past those moon twolls, very, very quietly - we'll find Nightmare Moon a few hexes beyond them, in the ruins of the old Everfree City... and she's guarding the Elements of Harmony - the Turnamancy artifact that Moon used on her in the first place. Which she's planning to use on us casters."

Pinkie grinned. "I so Predict it."

Everfree City

"And that's it, girls," said Twilight, as they stepped into the ruins hex of the old Everfree City. "I'm all out of Move."

Megan dropped quietly off Twilight's back and readied her bow, keeping an eye out for any motion that might betray the location of an enemy.

"We're in the right hex, right, darlings?" asked Rarity nervously.

"Hmmmm." Pinkie frowned, and her left ear twitched. "Left-ear-twitch! Yepperdoodles, we're in the hex."

"I must say," said Megan, quietly, "I never knew Predictamancy could be used in combat to counter enemy Foolamancy like that."

"Eh, it was nothing," said Pinkie. "I just had to predict which one was the real Gump, and the rest of you dealt with it no problem!"

"That's 'cos my combat bonus is awesome!" crowed Rainbow Dash. "And I guess two other warlords also in the stack did help a bit."

"More than a bit, I think," opined Applejack.

"I do hope the Moon Twolls didn't hurt that Manticore too badly..." murmured Fluttershy.

"Well, well, well, well." A dark, midnight-black winged unicorn stepped out of the mists. "What do we have here? One stack of warlords and casters all?" She snorted. "One, two, three, four, five, oh, and look at that, the Rider! Not even a max stack? I don't know how the six of you got here off-turn, but you don't stand a hope against me, not in anything like a fair fight."

"Six?" asked Fluttershy, glancing around. There was a distinct emptiness where their Foolamancer had been.

"You might have zapped me once," said Rainbow, hovering just a little off the ground, "but with the stack bonuses of my friends -"

Lightning crackled from Nightmare Moon's horn, slamming into the brash blue pegasus. Flung back, she slammed into the hex boundary behind her and collapsed, incapacitated.

Megan thought quickly. She could still understand what the Mounts were saying, which meant that the Foolamancer must be near enough to hear them. And that meant -

"Would anyone else like to make any empty gestures of defiance before I end your futile lives?" asked Nightmare Moon, her horn already crackling with shockamancy power. "Don't think I don't know why you're here, but don't worry, I've already found that Turnamancy artifact. It's safe in the centre of the hex. You're not getting your grubby little hooves on it."

And Megan, who still had a full turn's worth of Move, took a step back - through the hex boundary, ditching her stack in the process - and fired an arrow. It glanced off the Nightmare's armour.

"Bah!" said the Nightmare. "Is that the best you can do? Neigh!"

"It's good enough." Megan notched another arrow and let it fly. "I can keep this up all night long, and you know I'm going to crit eventually."

"Neigh! Neigh whinny snort!" The Nightmare let forth another burst of shockamancy. It made a very impressive lightshow when it hit the hex boundary in front of Megan; but the Nightmare had no Move remaining, so the attack could not pass that boundary.

"Very impressive," deadpanned Megan, firing another shot. "Want to do that again? Like I said, I've got all night. It's not like I need to save my arrows, after all."

The Nightmare glared at her. She neighed, petulantly, and at some length. Turning her back on Megan, she flew to the centre of the Hex, out of bowshot.

Megan waited until she was out of sight before re-entering the hex. "I don't suppose any of you casters know enough Healomancy to get Rainbow up and moving again, do you?" she asked.

Applejack neighed softly.

"I'm sorry," said Megan, "I can't understand you. Twilight's out of range. You're going to have to communicate in orders again."

Applejack laid her too front hooves on Rainbow's chest and, with a neigh which sounded like spellcasting, pushed down suddenly. Rainbow's eyes shot open. "NEIGH!" she yelled.

"The Turnamancy artifact's at the centre of the hex," said Megan, quickly summarising the tactical position for Rainbow. "Both Twilight, our Foolamancer, and the enemy warlord Nightmare Moon have gone there. Not even all of us together stand a chance of defeating her in combat, and that's not even counting that she's Predicted to survive until tomorrow, while we aren't. Rainbow, you're the highest level warlord present, that means you're authorised to give me orders. What do we do now?"

Confrontation in the Centre of the Hex

At the centre of the hex, Twilight galloped through yet another door. That Turnamancy artifact had to be somewhere...

...and there it was. Even encased in six protective Dirtamancy spheres, Twilight could feel the magical power in the artifact. The spheres would be a problem - they were easily removed with sufficiently strong Shockamancy - it didn't even have to hit them directly, it just had to hit close enough - but Twilight wasn't sure she had enough Juice to pop all six spheres and still use the artifact they protected...

Then the roof shattered, tiles dropping to the ground and shattering. Nightmare Moon dropped through the hole, landing amidst the stone spheres that protected the Elements of Harmony.

"Another caster?" she snarled. "Hmmmm. Foolamancer, I see?" She allowed herself a slow, vicious grin. "Well, congratulations on sneaking past me and getting here. It's really quite impressive. Of course, now I have to croak you."

Twilight glanced around the room. She did not smile, but it did take some effort to suppress it. Instead, she lowered her head, pawed at the ground, and snorted, preparing a charge.

Nightmare Moon raised her eyebrows. "You're kidding," she said. "You're kidding, right?"

Twilight snorted again.

"You're a caster. Level... one, I believe. I'm a warlord. I've got something like ten levels on you, and a powerful Shockamancy magic item to boot. You have no stack, no magic items, no artifacts. And you want to engage me in combat? Are you insane?"

Twilight pawed at the ground again, saying nothing.

"Well, then. If that's how you want to commit suicide..."

Both ponies charged simultaneously. Heads down, horns to the front, charging directly towards each other... Nightmare Moon didn't even slow down as she tore into Twilight.

And passed through like a ghost.

"Foolamancy!" she yelled, turning around. And there, sure enough, amidst the Dirtamancy spheres which protected the Elements, suddenly unveiled, stood Twilight Sparkle. Shockamancy crackled around her horn, as she prepared to unleash her magic against the spheres and free the Elements...

"NO!" yelled Nightmare Moon, firing a giant burst of her own Shockamancy directly at the suddenly-revealed Foolamancer. It struck dead centre, more than enough power to instantly croak a level one, flinging her body backwards off the dais and out of sight...

And it was at this point that the other five ponies and the Rider arrived at the doorway.

"Ha!" crowed Nightmare Moon. "You're too late! Now, I'll admit that distracting me to let a Foolamancer sneak past to the Turnamancy artifact was a very good idea... but it's failed." She strolled calmly towards the dais, confident in her power. "Your Foolamancer is lost, your cause is ended. It wasn't a bad try. But it's over now. You have no hex boundary to hide behind this time. I've won. Any last words?"

"Yes," said Megan. "You're wrong."

"Really?" asked Nightmare Moon. "And what makes you think that?"

"I can understand what you say," said Megan, smiling.

"What does that have to do with -" Nightmare turned suddenly, looking behind the dais. There was no body. "No... more Foolamancy..."

She turned back, her eyes alight with rage. "NO MORE FOOLAMAN-"

Twilight's veil ended at the same time as the six ponies - four casters and two warlords - each activated one of the Elements of Harmony. Five necklaces, one tiara, the necklaces placed on her allies under veil, the tiara she wore herself, a small vanity... and a slight ribbon of magic extended from each Element, combining into a shining rainbow beam of Turnamancy power, rising briefly into the sky and then dropping onto Nightmare Moon like a hammer on a nail.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO........."

There was a brilliantly bright light. And then all was darkness.

Epilogue

By the time dawn arrived, Queen Selene must have known of the loss of her high-level pony warlord. She ordered half the Moon Twolls to attack anyway; half to lay siege to the city... and the other half to turn back to the ruins of Everfree City, taking on and croaking a mixed force or four casters and four warlords before going on to reinforce the first half.

It was a massacre. Nightmare Moon (now styling herself "Princess Luna") tore through the oncoming ranks with ruthless efficiency. Not one Twoll was left standing; leadership was rapidly Turned with the Elements and turned against the troops they had been leading mere minutes before; not an instant was wasted on banter or grandstanding. The Lunar forces had their own foolamancer, a level three veteran of many wars; his illusions and veils were far in advance of anything Twilight could cast, but Luna was never fooled for more than an instant. The contrast in sheer competence could hardly be greater.

Megan, stacked with and riding Princess Luna, had a perfect view; even as her bow sought out the enemy units and cut them down, she formulated questions for which she had no answers. It was clear, after the first few minutes of the battle, that Luna had not been bringing her best against the group who had faced her down...

Megan did not get a chance to ask her questions until after the battle. As Predicted, Princess Luna had won a great victory; the ragged remnants of the attacking force had fled in the end, weakened far beyond the point where they could pose any significant threat to Ponyville. And even then, Luna had refused to answer, stating only that there was no time to wait, and hurrying towards Ponyville the instant their Turn started.

Princess Celestia met them in Ponyville. The first thing she did was walk straight up to Luna, and wrap her foreleg around Luna's neck in a hug.

"It has been far too long, sister," she said.

"It has," agreed Luna. "I cannot tell you how glad I am to return to your side."

"Wait," said Megan, "are you saying that you wanted to rejoin us? Is that why you let yourself get fooled so easily, so many times?"

Luna nodded. "The Elements of Harmony did a terrible thing to me the first time they were used upon me; my dearest friend became my greatest enemy. My Duty became to the side of Moon, but my Loyalty remained always with Celestia - I had to do the minimum that my Duty required, yet my divided Loyalty ensured that I could do no more than that minimum against the side led by my oldest, and greatest friend."

"That... explains a lot, actually," opined Twilight. She took off her tiara and looked at it. "So, these things alter duty, but not loyalty?"

"Duty is to a side, so it's Turnamancy," said Rarity, "Loyalty is between two units, so that would make it Date-a-mancy."

"Exactly," said Celestia, smiling. "Did you not wonder why I never sent anypony to collect the Turnamancy artifact from the Everfree ruins? It was because over-reliance on Turnamancy will tear a Side apart. The previous Ruler, the Emporer Caligula, made frequent use of the Elements to Turn opposing warlords, courtiers, and others. As high-value units, most of them ended up in his Court, as his advisors." She nodded at Megan, and laced her next words with the strength of an order. "Megan, would you please tell us what Caligula's court was like?"

"Backstabbing," said Megan, "plots, deceit, corruption. Exceedingly unpleasant."

Princess Celestia nodded. "That was the legacy of Caligula; the result of an overuse of Turnamancy without considering the underlying Date-a-mancy. Since we do not currently have a Date-a-mancer, I think that it would be best if we were to put the Elements away and never use them again. The short-term gains that they represent are not worth the long-term problems."

"Princess?" asked Twilight. "Would it help if I studied Date-a-mancy?"

Princess Celestia considered the matter. "It might," she conceded.

"And might I stay with her?" asked Megan. "I really like being able to understand everyone, Your Highness."

Princess Celestia stepped back in surprise. "You can understand me now?"

"Yes, your Highness."

"A simple practical application of Foolamancy!" said Twilight, happily. "She thinks she's hearing a voice that speaks Language!"

"Well done, Twilight!" said Princess Celestia, happily. "Very well, then. I shall make a royal decree; Warlady Megan Faust, you shall remain here in Ponyville to protect and serve Foolamancer Twilight Sparkle, to the best of your ability. Foolamancer Twilight Sparkle, you are to remain here in Ponyville and study Date-a-mancy, the magic of Friendship, until such time as you feel you can resolve the long-term problem involved in overuse of the Elements of Harmony. Does this meet with the approval of all concerned?

"Yeah!" "Yes!" "I like it!" "Sounds good!"

Pinkie leapt into the air, spreading her forelegs wide. "I predict that it's time for a VICTORY PARTY!" she yelled, amidst widespread cheering.

Prologue

Everyone knows that any unit can be an heir. This is not in dispute; pay the schmuckers, designate a unit, and your Side has an heir.

Every unit can speak to every other unit of its type. This is little known, but little disputed among those who do know it; dwagons have a language with which they can speak to other dwagons. Dwagons are not, however, particularly intelligent, and generally have little to say.

While many units do not speak Language, most units can understand it to some degree. And all units can understand orders. This, too, is not in dispute.

Megan Faust, Warlord, reflected again on these facts as she awaited her Ruler's summons. Everybody knew all these things, but few followed these ideas to conclusion. It had been thousands of turns since Emperor Caligula, the former ruler of their side, had, in a fit of pique and anger at the corruption of his Council, designated his steed as his heir. And hundreds of turns had passed since Caligula had fallen in battle, betrayed by the same corruption in his Council.

When she had felt her Ruler die, Megan had thought that it would mean the end of her Side. But there was one thing that was not known about mounts, and that was this; some of them could be frighteningly intelligent. It had taken a number of bluffs, some difficult negotiations with reluctant allies, and the hiring of a Luckamancer from the Magic Kingdom to save the side; but the side was now as safe as any side in Erfworld could be. And it was perhaps the only side in all of Erfworld to have a Ruler who spoke no Language, who communicated with her inherited warlords only in direct Orders. Oh, she understood language, of that there could be no doubt - sometimes, Megan thought, her Ruler understood Language better than she did. But warlords popped under her reign shared in her Signamancy - they were mounts, unable to speak Language but able to communicate perfectly amongst themselves.

And Megan, as the only warlord to still survive from the days of Emperor Caligula, was thus the only unit in the entire side able to negotiate with foreign sides. This gave her a kind of irreplaceable value which kept her off the front lines - much to her dismay, but she could see her tactical value in negotiation.

A silent command came to her, and she turned from her introspection to present herself at Court. Her Ruler gave a lot of leeway when it came to procedure, but was known to appreciate good manners. So Megan walked up the red carpet towards the throne, knelt, and greeted her Ruler by name.

"Princess Celestia. You have need of me?"