Do what comes naturally

by Captain Wuzz

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Romance, Comedy
Length: 5202

Discord is in a relationship, but it's not in his nature to be constant, or monogamous. But he doesn't want to hurt the mare he loves. How will he solve this quandry?

Discord is in a relationship, but it's not in his nature to be constant, or monogamous. But he doesn't want to hurt the mare he loves. How will he solve this quandry?

Image from A Monograph of the Paradiseidae By Daniel Giraud Elliot, 1873

The sex tag is there, but it's nothing you wouldn't find in a [spoiler]David Attenborough documentary[/spoiler].

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-29 15:20:01 UTC

What do?

Discord stared at Fluttershy's back as she slept next to him. Her belly rose and fell as she snored sweetly. Her soft breathing was strangely calming. He was rarely calm, but he often felt that way around her, as if something in him had been tamed and mollified.

Some things, however, could never be tamed.

He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. There was something that had been causing him anxiety for some time. He knew he liked to preempt himself. In fact, Fluttershy had often told him that he worried too much and needed to stop being so paranoid in case his fears became self-fulfilling prophecies. He had friends who cared about him now, after all. He had her. But this was a different kind of worry. He wasn't worried that Fluttershy might leave him (though it had taken a lot of convincing that she wouldn't), or that Twilight Sparkle no longer wanted to be his friend. No, his worry was much more grounded in reality.

Discord had only ever had one other serious relationship in his life, and that had ended rather badly, to put in mildly. He shuddered as he thought of hard, cold rock embracing him, suffocating his spirit, rendering him unable to scream except in his mind.

He turned back to the pegasus, longing to seek comfort by burying his muzzle in her soft mane, but today, he felt as if he didn't deserve it.

He loved her. He knew that much. That wasn't at all in question. The problem was what he was. Most of his life he hadn't had to worry about social mores and happily indulged in whatever took his fancy, but this situation with Fluttershy was different. At the moment, he had no desire to stray from her. But he knew from experience that because of his nature it would likely happen eventually. And then what? He would hurt her. He would be a terrible person once more.

He whimpered and curled up into a ball. There was no question she'd be hurt. He knew Fluttershy often felt insecure.

I mean, Twilight is so much smarter than me...

And he had held her and told her he wanted her, and she was being silly.

...and Princess Celestia is so pretty and wise and powerful.

And he had held her and told her it was in the past and he was over it. Yes, Celestia was no longer his enemy but he knew that was over. He had screwed that up...royally.

He smirked bitterly at the pun in his head, but reality returned and he began worrying again. There was just no escaping the simple fact that chaos, by nature, was not monogamous. It needed variety and change and near constant excitement. He was afraid to ask Fluttershy about some of his more...interesting desires. If he had, perhaps it would have helped. Maybe he could be faithful if she was alright with more variety.

But he didn't dare ask. Fluttershy seemed to be the sort of girl that just wouldn't be okay with a lot of his fantasies. He had once asked her if she was okay with being transformed into a stallion and she had shyly said she wasn't really into that, so he didn't bring such things up again.

He felt the pegasus shift and he turned to face her. She smiled at him and kissed him on the snout. He felt his heart twist in his chest. She was so sweet and loving. And mortal.

How could a mortal understand?

"I'll put the kettle on," she said in her soft voice. A voice that still made his feathers ruffle in a delightful way. "Okay!" he croaked, grinned crookedly.

Oh, Fluttershy what am I going to do? he thought, as he watched her leave the bedroom. I really, really don't want to hurt you. You're the best thing to have happened to me in ages. But I can't help what I am.

He felt the chaos uncurl in him like a tendril and whimpered, burying his snout in the scrunched up bedsheets. If only he could do something for her that satisfied him without hurting her. He opened his eyes and his ears pricked up as his vision focused on Fluttershy's nightstand and the things on it. Aside from the lamp, there was a glass of mint water and a pair of books. One was a romance novel, and the one under it appeared to be something about the birds of Papua New Guneigh. He ignored the romance novel--he couldn't read those without laughing--so he opted for the bird book. Maybe reading would take his mind of things.

The book floated towards him and he lay there with his arms behind his head, turning the pages with magic. An illustration of a flamboyant bird with a tail like a spectacular feather duster caught his eye. The tail was bright red, and the feathers intricate and almost twice the length of the bird itself. Its throat was iridescent green and its beak was open as if it was shouting about how colourful it looked. He read the text on the opposite page: The breeding system of the Raggiana bird-of-paradise is polygamy. Males congregate in leks (display arenas for visiting females). Leks can be 30–100 meters in diameter. Within the lek there is a group of tall slender trees on which males compete for prominent perches and defend them from rivals.

He snorted. Once again he had been reminded of the non-monogamous trait of nature. He turned the page again with his magic. All of the plates showed amazing and colourful male birds displaying for females. He read some more: The intricate display rituals of birds of paradise are down to female sexual selection. Everything the male does is to win over the female. In some species of birds-of-paradise, such as the Manucodes the mating pair are monogamous. However, monogamous birds of paradise lack the elaborate display rituals.

Huh, he thought. Weird how there were a variety of mating strategies in one family of birds.

And in that moment, just as Fluttershy came through the door carrying the tea things, his ears pricked up and a lightbulb appeared over his head.

Fluttershy stared at the lightbulb. "Um...did something happen while I was gone?"

He grinned.

Despite his idea, Discord still felt nervous about what he was about to propose to Fluttershy. Convincing her to take a trip to Papua New Guineigh with him had been the easy part. She was bound to want to go somewhere with amazing animals and breathtaking views. The hard part would be trying to talk to her about his desires.

But still, he felt he had a better chance now. And if she agreed, it would be a situation where they were both happy.

If she agreed. And really, that was the part that was making him so nervous he almost felt sick to his stomach.

They were on a branch 200 feet above the ground, and taking in the view.

"These orchids are so beautiful!" exclaimed Fluttershy.

"What?" he said, his head spinning round. "Oh...yes. Of course. Orchids." He cleared his throat.

The pegasus moved forward and touched his wing gently. "Is something wrong, Discord?"

"Wrong? Why would anything be wrong? Everything's as far from wrongness as is physically possible!" His left pupil was drifing in an entirely different direction from his right.

She looked at him skeptically. He couldn't meet her gaze. In fact, she wasn't entirely sure that wasn't part of the reason he was going wall-eyed.

"If anything's bothering you, I want you to tell me. We talked about this, remember? It's better to talk to someone you trust than to keep your feelings bottled up inside."

How was he going to deal with this? His heart was pounding and the awful feeling in his stomach had returned. He took a deep breath. "I..."

Suddenly a loud noise interrupted the couple, and they both looked up to see a pair of birds, ascending an exposed branch jutting out of the canopy. They hopped and jumped, all the while making high-pitched, raucous calls.

"Oh my! Lesser Birds of Paradise!"

Despite himself, Discord had to grin. He had a feeling she would be able to identify them almost instantly.

The birds were both males, and they held their wings out  in front of them, and vibrated their tail feathers, calling loudly. They were soon joined by a third male, who began to compete with them.

Discord snuck a glance at Fluttershy. She looked enraptured.

He opened his mouth to try and confess his plan to her again, but heard her call "oh!"

He looked up to see what had prompted the exclamation, and spotted a smaller brown bird landing on the exposed branch with the displaying males. It was, of course, a female. The males suddenly whipped into a frenzy, and began vibrating their tail feathers and calling out louder than ever. She hopped around, observing each one.

Then she flew off, uninterested.

"Oh, how disappointing!" said Fluttershy. Discord took that as his cue.

"Yes, it is, rather," he said. "I wonder what would have happened if she had chosen a male."

"Well, they would have mated."

He laughed. "Yes, I know, Flutter Nutter, but I mean...I wonder what goes through their minds. Do...do you ever wonder that?" He tapped his temple with a talon as he spoke.

"I...I suppose I do."

Discord's heart leapt. "Aaaand..." he continued carefully, "Have you ever wondered what it would...feel like to be a bird?"

"Oh, all the time!" she said brightly. He hesitated, the grin frozen on his face. He wasn't sure if she meant that completely innocently. He certainly didn't.

"I...I mean. What it would be like..." he trailed off, his head and ears drooping. He was bucking this up, he was sure of it. Her small delicate hoof rested on his lion arm.

"Discord, what's wrong?"

He took her hoof in his big paw. "Fluttershy. Have you...have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be a mating bird of paradise?"

There. He had said it. His ears drooped even further. She was going to call him a pervert now. Or say she would never do such a thing, or insist they go back home.

Instead she said softly, "Well, no...I haven't exactly ever imagined that. But now that you've mentioned it I am kind of curious. It's so quick when it happens. I wonder if birds get as much pleasure out of it as we do."

His ears pricked up slowly. "There's...a way to find out," he whispered.

"You...you mean?"

Discord felt terrified. Why did this mare always make him feel so vulnerable? "I'm sorry, Fluttershy," he said quickly. "It was a stupid idea. I never should have brought it up!" He curled his tail around himself.

"N--no," she said, touching his arm again. "It's not stupid. I just..."

He ran his paw through her mane. "I love you, canary-horse. But I'm chaos. Do you understand?"

Don't make me say it. Please don't.

"You need to try new things?"

He stared at her. "Yes...but that doesn't mean I want to do stuff that would make you unhappy! I...just thought that..."

"I have some questions," she said.

"Go on..." he said, suddenly intrigued, but no less nervous.

"Um, if we were both birds of paradise, we would still be ourselves, right? I mean, we would be us in the form of birds. It wouldn't involve mating with actual birds."

"No, of course not! I may be weird, but I'm not that weird."

"Oh, good. B-because they aren't sapient. And another question."

"Yes?"

"Would we feel everything the bird would feel in a bird body?"

"I assume so. While I've taken the form of birds before I've never done...this."

"Really?"

"Really. I've never really met anyone who would be into doing this." He paused. "Are you into doing this? I want you to be sure."

Fluttershy looked across at the loud, brightly displaying birds. It would be amazing, wouldn't it? To not only be a bird but to experience what it felt like to be a bird. And she did wonder sometimes what birds went through when it came to mating rituals. And it would be with someone she trusted. Someone who clearly wanted to please her.

She looked up the draconequus. "Okay," she smiled softly.

"Okay? You want to? I mean, you really want to?"

"Yes," she said, giggling a little behind her hoof. "Though I admit I feel a little bit nervous."

"Understandable," he said, wrapping his tail around her and pulling her closer to his body. His voice took on a deeper tone. "I'm nervous too," he said, grinning at her.

"Really? Because you don't look it."

They both snickered. Then Fluttershy paused. "Promise if I don't like it we can stop?"

"You have my word. Which I admit, has a bit of a bumpy track record, but yes."

"Okay," she said, smiling up at him.

"Ready?"

"I...yes."

There was a flash of light and suddenly Fluttershy found herself on a tree branch that was higher up in the canopy. She nearly swooned at the sudden height, which she mused was a bit silly. After all, she was a pegasus and she could fly. She looked down at herself. She wasn't a pegasus.

Instead of four hooves she now had two stick-like legs and feet that divided into four sections, each with a claw at the end of them. She nearly lost her balance flapping her wings wildly to right herself, but her newly acquired feet kept her on the branch. Once she was satisfied she wasn't going to fall she looked around. Where was Discord?

She swiveled her head round (it was surprisingly easy to do this as a bird) and spotted the male Lesser Birds of Paradise displaying and shaking their tail feathers. Was Discord amoung them? How would she tell them apart? Maybe it would be better to wait here in the branch until he showed up.

She didn't realize he was further up the tree. He was excited, but still very nervous. If she didn't like what they were about to do, then his anxiety and worries would return. He had to make sure this was special for her. He had to...wait. Where was she going?!

Fluttershy had taken off and was flying towards the display branch the males were on. As soon as they saw her they began vibrating and calling frantically. The polygamous lekking! Discord, you idiot!

"Fluttershy, no!" cried Discord. He knew she would never forgive herself if she ended up with the wrong bird, so to speak.

He began to fly towards her, and realized his elaborate tail feathers were tangled in a branch. "Consarnit!" he squacked.

Fluttershy had landed on the branch and was gazing in fascination at the display of colour and sound all aroud her. Soon, however, she began to feel rather odd. Discord had given her the body of a bird, and that body included hormones and wants. The males surrounding her were beginning to excite her, and they knew it. Each one began to dance for her, hoping she would choose him. One of them began pecking her on the head, and she found she enjoyed it. Was the bird Discord? He seemed so gloriously handsome and flamboyant. So colourful, so...

She had crouched automatically, and the male bird saw his opportunity. An opportunity that was dashed as another male bird crashed into him. Fluttershy cried out as she watched both birds plummet down into the canopy.

Discord's beak was full of plumes, and he coughed loudly as they touched the back of his throat. His rival squacked in confusion as they fell in a flapping frenzy. Discord managed to cough out the male's tail feathers, then separated from him in mid air. They both dove in an arc and flew in opposite directions.

Discord sighed with relief, but then quickly turned and flew back when he remembered that there were two more males on that branch. "Flutters!" he shouted. She was surrounded by colour and beautiful plumes again.

"Oh no you don't you glorified feather dusters!" he squacked. He felt unbelievably jealous and protective. Of birds. It would have been funny if he hadn't been so worried for Fluttershy's safety. They had surrounded her, and were now flapping their wings in her face. How was he going to knock them over if she was in the middle of them? He might hurt her. He landed on the lower part of the branch.

Here goes nothing.

He let out a loud, whooping cry and vibrated his feathers as if his life depended on it. Then he began hopping up and down the branch like a hyperactive yet hunched over old man. The three birds above him looked down.

Discord? thought Fluttershy. She was in a haze. She had been ready to crouch again. The pecking had been exciting her, but now this new bird looked even more amazing. He wouldn't stop shaking and calling and weaving back and forth.

"C'mon, c'mon," thought Discord. He probably looked like a fool. He didn't care. He wanted her.

Fluttershy burst from the branch, turned in mid air and landed next to Discord. He shivered with excitement. He had the hormones and body of a bird too. She gazed at him while he jiggled and quivered, occassionly throwing his head back and whooping. She moved closer. Then his wings were brushing her face softly as he danced, and he pecked her gently on the head. Her feathers ruffled and she cooed softly. His pecking became more ardent, and she felt herself crouch and he was on her, flapping wildly.

It lasted two seconds.

But Fluttershy could honestly say it was perhaps two of the best seconds of her life. It was so quick, yet she felt intense pleasure surge through her, then they were falling through the canopy together. The ground was rushing up towards them and she whimpered and buried her beak in his neck feathers. Then they were rolling across the ground, Discord laughing as they transformed once more into themselves.

Fluttershy finally came to a standstill on her back and Discord leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

When he came up for air, and she managed to catch her breath, she said, "that was...that was..."

"Yes?" said Discord, still worried that she might never want to do anything like that again.

"...amazing!" she cried.

Discord felt relief and joy wash over him.

"I never realized! It's so amazing to know what a bird is actually thinking and feeling! It was like I was being wrapped in a sea of colour!"

He slid his paw under her waist and pulled her close to him. "So...what should we try now?" he asked, grinning.

"There's more?"

"Of course there's more. There's the entire animal kingdom. And the plants I guess. But I somehow think that wouldn't be terribly exciting."

"Oh...oh wow. I, um. I don't know."

"May I offer some suggestions?"

"Shoot."

"How about ring-tailed lemurs? I would defend my territory from rival males and you'd choose the best one, which would obviously be me of course. I would rub my scent glands on trees and fart on my tail and no other male would dare come close to my power! Whaddya think?"

"Um that...doesn't sound very appealing."

"Ah, okay. Um...how about...Ah! I know. How about something where you're in total control?"

"What do you mean?" asked the pegasus softly.

"I mean, I'd like you to be the boss of me," he said, grinning down at her.

She paused. Discord had never asked her that. He had tied her up in bed and she had enjoyed that, but she was surprised that he wanted to be the submissive one. Maybe he had secretly wanted it all along.

"So what animals would we be?"

"Hyenas."

"Hyenas?"

"Yup. The female's in charge," he purred.

In a flash they were on the Zebrican grasslands and Discord was padding alongside her. He nipped gently at her shoulder. "Please," he whimpered.

Fluttershy was surprised at this turn of events. Discord was whimpering like a puppy and seemed to be gazing at her with an almost worshipful expression.

She, on the other hand, felt immensely powerful, and her hormonal surge was surprising. She snapped at Discord, her sharp teeth narrowly missing his muzzle.

She pulled back in horror. "Sorry, sorry! I don't know what came over me! I didn't mean to do that!"

"It's okay, my gorgeous queen," sighed Discord happily. His expression was incredibly sappy looking. He rolled over onto his back, exposing his belly.

Fluttershy was once again overcome with the urge to bite Discord. However, it wasn't a lethal bite she wanted to inflict. She moved forward, snuffling, while Discord rolled around on the ground, his pupils large as if he had eaten toadstools or posion joke.

"Please," he whimpered again.

Fluttershy couldn't help but find his begging incredibly hot. She wondered if he would like to do that in their regular pony and draconequus forms. She had never felt like the dominant type, but now that she knew what it felt like, what it felt like in this hyena body, she began to feel she might be capable of such things in her usual form after all.

Suddenly she was on him, biting his neck and pushing him into the ground.

"Yes, yes, please!" shouted Discord, whimpering loudly. He struggled, half-heartedly against her. They kicked up a lot of dust and their growls filled the air as Fluttershy took her pleasure and then Discord took his.

For his part, Discord was in heaven. Having Fluttershy take him roughly excited him beyond measure. As an all powerful creature, he was used to having the upper paw. Having someone physically stronger take him was new and novel, and it turned him on immensely. And it was with someone he trusted. He had wanted to do this in the past, but letting his guard down was not something he was good at. Now she was on him, biting him and overpowering him. He groaned in delight.

Finally, she collapsed next to him.

He conjured up a cigarette and lit it, blowing out glittery smoke in the shape of a heart.

"That, my dear," he said. "Was wonderful."

She smiled softly. "It was wonderful for me too," she barked. Discord nodded and they were their former selves once more. They lay there in the Zebrican sunshine for a while. The scenery was beautiful; the colours of the sky changing while birds flew across it in massive, squacking flocks.

"Would you like to try one more before we go home?" he asked her.

"Again?"

"If you're too tired we can skip it. I've had an amazing time, Fluttershy, and like I said, we have the entire animal kingdom to get through."

"I think I could try one more," said Fluttershy. She couldn't help but feel excited and curious. Not only was she enjoying time with her mate, but she was learning more about nature than she thought possible.

Discord snapped his fingers. They were back in Papua New Guineigh. This time, instead of the canopy, they were standing on the forest floor.

"Discord...what?"

He placed a claw over her lips. "This one's a surprise," he said. Kind of a hide and seek. I'll hide, and you come and find me. Sound good?"

"I...I think so. But what if I get lost?"

"If you do just boom for me and you'll find me again."

"Boom for you?"

"It will all make sense soon enough. Now, cover your eyes and start counting to one hundred."

She turned, leaned against a tree trunk and began counting. The sounds of the forest birds and insects filled the air as she spoke.

"...91, 92, 93, 94,95,96,97,98,99...100. Here I come!"

She turned, and nearly fell over when she realized her forelimbs were missing. She still had her hindlegs, but they were now huge, meaty things, which ended in three toes. The third toe was a formidable looking thing that looked as sharp as a dagger. A black cape of shaggy feathers encloaked her body. She walked over to a small puddle on the ground and peered into it. Staring back at her was a large, ostrich-like bird with a bony looking casque on its head, a blue neck and a red wattle. She was a cassowary.

She had read about cassowaries in books. She knew they were considered the world's most dangerous bird and that the dagger-like claw was a terrifying weapon.

But she and Discord were here to mate, not fight. And now she needed to find him.

She began moving through the bushes, and was surprised to discover that she instinctively moved her head from side to side as she did so, using the casque to push aside the thick undergrowth. She was beginning to feel lost already, and was starting to feel panicked, when she heard a low booming sound. Her head shot up and she looked from left to right, her wattle quivering. If she had been observing herself she might have laughed out loud. At the moment though, she was focused on one thing.

She moved towards the sound, occassionally turning this way and that, looking for the source of the booming, but she couldn't find him. The forest was too thick.

He remembered what he had said. "Boom for me."

She pressed her long neck close to her feathery body, and the sound vibrated up into her casque: "grok grok grok grok."

She saw Discord approaching her from the right, and she turned to look at him. He seemed a little wary of her, and that was when she realized she was the larger of the two.

They began circling each other, when suddenly Discord bobbed his head and ruffled his coarse black feathers at her. Then he leapt up into the air, thrashing his limbs wildly, and shaking his body like a giant, feathery water balloon.

He looked ridiculous. She was sure if she had been in pony form she would have rolled over on the ground from laughter, tears of mirth streaming from her eyes.

But her bird hormones once again overode that.

Discord began his silly little dance again, occassionally stopping to bob his head and boom at her, and she sauntered over to him, eyeing him up. Then she began to walk into the forest, coyly looking over her shoulder. He followed her excitedly, and she led him to a bowl shaped dip on the forest floor, and lay down. He crouched down on top of her, using his legs to get a better grip on her back. Unlike the bird of paradise affair, Discord took his time. They mated for minutes this time, booming softly. It was a rather gentle affair after the bird of paradise and the hyena, and Fluttershy wondered if he had chosen it for her.

Finally he nipped her neck and moved off her. She shook her feathers and sighed happily. Then she had a thought.

"Discord?"

"Mmm?" he said dreamily.

"Can we...can we stay in the bird bodies for a while. I want to see what life is like for a bird even when it's not mating."

"Sure!" he said. He was feeling very...what was it Treehugger called it..."blissed out." All his worries were gone. Things were going to be fine.

They wandered the forest for hours, eating fruit and occassionally wading in streams, when Fluttershy declared that she now felt very tired and it was probably time to go home.

"I'm not surprised," grinned Discord. "I am a bit hard to take."

Fluttershy rolled her eyes playfully at him as he snickered like a twelve year old.

"Alright, Canary-Horse," we'd better head back then if..."

A look of concern came over him as he noticed Fluttershy was holding herself rigid.

"Fluttershy? What's wrong?" he said, suddenly feeling fearful.

"I...I don't know. I...I feel like I'm cramping down below."

He began flapping near her in concern. She crouched down on the ground.

"I should take us home," he was saying. "I should make you some tea and wrap you in blankets and make sure you're okay..." He was panicking. What if he had given her some sort of horrible bird disease? It was best to get her back to her equine self as soon as possible.

"Wait!" she cried. She crouched down on the ground, a look of concentration on her face. But he could tell she was in pain. She held herself rigid for what seemed like forever and then suddenly relaxed with a sigh.

"Fluttershy, what happened?"

She looked up at him. "I...I think I've laid an egg..."

Discord looked behind her, and there was indeed a bright blue-green egg the size of a melon resting on the ground.

Fluttershy boomed loudly and went rigid again.

"We need to get you home!" said Discord.

All told, Fluttershy ended up laying six eggs. When she was finally done they both stood up and looked down at them.

Discord immediately snapped his cassowary toes so that they were in draconequus and pony form once more. He wasn't taking anymore chances. "Well, now that that's over we'd better head off," he said, and he scooped her up in his arms.

"Discord, wait!"

"Huh?"

"We can't just leave those eggs here!"

"Are you saying you want to sit on them? There's no time for that!"

"But the baby chicks will be cold and hungry once they hatch. They might die!"

"What are we supposed to do? Take them home with us?"

She looked up at him with her huge blue eyes.

"You're serious, aren't you? You want to take home eggs and raise them to be vicious stabby boom birds?"

"Um, not me."

"What?"

"I can't be the one that raises the eggs. It wouldn't be natural."

"Of course it wouldn't be natural. See? You're a Canary-Horse and I'm a Dragon Horse. So let's go," he said, throwing her over his shoulder firepony style and walking forward.

"No! That isn't what I meant. I...I meant...with cassowaries, it's the male that sits on the eggs and raises the chicks."

Discord stopped in mid stride. "You're not saying..."

"They'll die!"

He sighed. He knew the battle was already lost. Like that time she had insisted they bring home a snapping turtle with a missing limb.

The eggs ended up on a bean bag in front of the fireplace, and Discord ended up being hugely possessive of them, like a brooding chicken. He even made clucking noises and sat on them, fluffing out his brown belly feathers.

"It will just be for a little while," said Fluttershy. "Once they're young adults we can release them back into the wild."

"They're your children too you know," he grumbled.

She moved forward and nuzzled his face.

"Yes, but you make an adorable father."

His eyes softened and he shook his head. "Fluttershy, no one can say being with you is ever boring."