It Is I, Your Beloved Princess Celestia

by Clairvoyant

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 3153

After Princess Celestia calls out for a sick day, Princess Luna is put in charge of maintaining Canterlot for a day... But not in the way you would think.

After Princess Celestia calls out for a sick day, Princess Luna is put in charge of maintaining Canterlot for a day... But not in the way you would think.

Cover Art done by Karzahnii.

Published 2016-05-30 03:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-04 03:54:39 UTC

"It is I, your beloved Princess, Princess Celestia!"

The bright, beautiful Sun in the sky shined brightly, its warm glow shining down on all of the various citizens that wandered around in Canterlot.

Rays of sunlight beamed down through the windows of Canterlot Castle, lighting the several hallways where guards are stationed at.

The sound of birds chirping filled the air, their smooth singing bringing a smile to many faces, but not as much as one pony.

Princess Celestia listened intently to the pristine and beautiful birds as they flew through the air, singing to no one in particular. Although, she liked to think they were performing for her specifically.

She laid in her bed under her large, warm blanket. Her hooves were tucked underneath herself, as she laid on her stomach, breathing heavily through her mouth.

Sniffling loudly, she snatched a tissue and blew into it roughly, clearing her nose out. Discarding the used tissue via magic, most likely finding itself in one of Discord’s many dimensions, she rubbed her teary eyes.

Feeling a certain pressure building up inside of her, she quickly grabbed a tissue and pressed against her mouth as she sneezed loudly.

“Achoo!” Princess Celestia scrunched up her muzzle, shaking her head as the sneeze let itself out of her mouth. Cleaning her mouth, she sneezed once again.

“You called?” A guard opened the door and asked, peeking his head inside of her massive room.

“No, I’m perfectly fine. You're dismissed.” Princess Celestia stated, waving her hoof at the guard.

“Of course, Your Highness.” He said as he bowed to her before shutting the door behind himself. The princess sighed as she laid dormant in bed.

She always hated getting sick, especially when she was in the middle of court. Or even when she's eating cake. Actually, she could use some cake!

Lighting her horn, she opened her nearby closet. Inside was towers of boxes of different flavored cake. The towers went all the way to the top of the closet. There was even small signs indicating which tower was what flavor. Tapping her chin with her hoof, she levitated a box of pound cake to herself and closed the closet.

The princess’ mouth began to water as she thought about the luscious cake set out in front of her. Grabbing a piece with her hoof, she took a big bite out of it. Smiling brightly, her taste buds exploded as the cake melted in her mouth, the taste of sugar and mushy cake bringing her to Heaven.

Once again, the pressure built up until she felt sneezing two times in consecutively. Her muzzle shriveled up as she frowned. Picking up another piece of cake, she opened her mouth to take another delicate bite.

“Did you call, Your Majesty?” The same guard inquired, entering her room once again. Celestia glared at the guard with a scowl.

“I am quite fine, Private Dusk. Please, you're dismissed.” She found herself saying again. The guard bowed to her and closed the door. Rolling her eyes, she sneezed again.

“You call?”

“What did I just- Oh. Hello, Luna.” Celestia said, using another tissue to wipe her mouth and nose. Her sister entered and closed the door behind her.

“How are you feeling this evening, sister?” Luna asked, resting her haunches on the edge of the bed, looking at Celestia.

“Sick. I had to end Court early because of it.” The older sister informed, placing the box of cake next to the bed on the nightstand.

“Well, at least you won't have to deal with the royals today!” The younger sister exclaimed, wearing a big grin and throwing her hoof to the side, adding flair to her movements.

“I’ll still have to, regardless of being sick or not.” Celestia deadpanned.

“Well… Why don't I take over court today?” Princess Luna asked slash stated at the same time, looking at her bedridden sister.

Princess Celestia placed a hoof on her chin, tapping it as she contemplated her sister taking over court. This decision needs decision cake! Levitating a piece of pound cake over to herself, Celestia placed the cake into her mouth. She continued to think and tap her chin as she chewed the delicious cake.

On one hoof, her sister is is inexperienced with Day Court. But, on the other hoof, this would be the perfect time for her to learn should she find herself sick again. And it’s not as if she's taking over the court forever, only until she's healthy again.

“Why not?” The older sister said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Oh, thank you dear sister! You won't regret it!” Luna whispered loudly, embracing her sister tightly. Celestia tapped her sister’s shoulder as she felt herself suffocating.

“Can’t… Breath!” Princess Celestia squeaked out.

“Oh. Right. Sorry… Well, I guess I better get started!” Luna let go of her sister and got off the bed, running to the door and letting herself out.

Celestia just hopes she knows what she is doing, for both their sakes.

* * *

“Bring forth the first victim!” Princess Luna yelled, a crudely drawn picture of Princess Celestia drawn on a paper plate tied to her face.

The guards opened the door and a brown mare with a orange mane entered inside the room. “... Princess Luna?”

“No. It Is I, Your Beloved Princess, Princess Celestia!” The faux princess shouted out into the sky, her hooves extended out for dramatic effect.

“Princess Luna, I can see you.” The mare said, staring at the blue princess hidden behind the paper plate.

“You must be mistaken! If I was truly Princess Luna, who is best princess, then how would I have these!” The younger sister said, to reveal her cutie marks. But, instead covering them was two pieces of paper with her sister's cutie marks drawn on them taped to her body.

“But, those are pieces of paper! So is your face!” The frustrated mare exclaimed, pointing a hoof to the fake Celestia.

“Your eyes must be deceiving you! Truly, I am Princess Celestia! Watch as I devour these pastries!” Princess Luna then levitated a box of eclairs over to herself and began inhaling the eclairs like a vacuum cleaner.

The mare watched in horror as the princess ate all of the eclairs, licking her lips as she finished. “You really are Princess Celestia! I apologize, Your Majesty!” The mare started to bow every few seconds.

“I accept your heartfelt apology! But, there was one requirement now mandatory for Day Court.” Princess Luna smirked behind the paper plate.

“Of course, what is it?” The brown mare gazed up at the princess, mid bow.

“I am now to be referred to as Princess Sunbutt!”

* * *

Princess Celestia begrudgingly lifted her eyelids, awaking from her nap. Yawning loudly, she stretched and reached for a piece of cake, her eyes half lidded and a small smile on her muzzle.

“Dear Celestia, would you like to explain why there are discarded tissues all over my disco hot tub?”

Author's Note

I fixed the errors that some people were talking about. Thanks for reading!

Bonus Chapter: "It is I, your beloved Princess, Princess Luna!"

Author's Note

Due to popular demand, here is a bonus chapter depicting the aftermath of Princess Luna's actions. Thanks for the support, and enjoy!

Bonus Chapter: "It is I, your beloved Princess, Princess Luna!"

Three Days Later…

Princess Celestia, back to her former glory and not a trace of sickness left in her body, sat eloquently atop her throne, a warm smile plastered on her muzzle. But, while her demeanor may seem happy and fulfilled, she was curious and confused.

Glancing to the walls of her throne room, her eyes scanned across the enormous, tall towers of boxes of sweets. Whether it’d be eclairs, cakes, cookies, cupcakes or even chocolate-filled croissants, there was hundreds of containers lining the walls, surrounding the throne and main doors. She shot a sympathetic look to the two guards who were covered in cakes, the only thing showing were their heads.

“I apologize, Private Dusk and Private Eclipse. Please, let me help you.” Frowning slightly, her was encompassed by a light yellow color and she levitated the cakes away from her loyal guards. Private Dusk narrowed his eyes at a bit of white frosting on his muzzle, pouting a bit. His companion snickered at his misfortune, while the victim of the cake attack sighed.

Princess Celestia went to place the cakes down before she realize it would stain the floor. With a loud pop, the pastries vanished and she realized that she would have to send an apology letter to Twilight. Although, her student may appreciate the chocolate cupcakes.

She doesn't know where she went wrong. She placed her trust in her sister and she decided it would be humorous to have ponies send her an endless supply of cakes! Well, she can't say that her sweets will run out anytime soon, but she will have to find another place for them… I’m sure Discord won't mind having a few other objects in his disco hot tub.

“Let in the first subject, please.” Princess Celestia muttered, trying not to chance a look at the towers of boxes lying in her throne room. If she is to regain her dignity, she’ll have to strike back against her sister! After all, revenge is best served cold.

A sage green pony with a lively shade of red mane entered slowly, her eyes raising to the top of the ceiling, gulping slightly. Princess Celestia felt the urge to groan, but suppressed her feeling. Even if she had cakes lining her walls, she still had to keep an image up.

“Is there something I can help you with, my little pony?” She gracefully inquired, a warm look on her beaming her face. As much as her smile her rose, she was screaming internally at her sister's antics.

“I-I… Well, Princess… P-Princess S-S-Sunbutt-” The last word was mumbled, but Celestia heard it perfectly fine.

“Excuse me?” The princess found herself saying, her eyebrow involuntarily raising. Just what in the name of Tartarus is going on anymore? She was sick for a few days and now there is multiple towers of various cakes pressing against the ceiling, she's being mocked by her own subjects, and innocent guards are being frosted! On the muzzle!

“I-I… It’s… It’s your sister, P-Princess. She said it’s now mandatory to d-deliver cakes and refer to you as Princess S-S-Sunbutt.” The mare uttered, a look of fear in her eyes as she bowed to the princess. Princess Celestia frowned before standing up and approaching the cowering pony. Taking a hoof, she lifted the pony’s head and put on a small smile.

“It’s quite alright, my little pony. You were just following my sister’s orders,” Her sister’s stupid orders, but her sister's orders nonetheless. “Please, come to Day Court tomorrow. Today's is canceled. You're dismissed.” The mare bowed once more and exited the throne room, leaving a maimed guard, a snickering guard, and one furious Alicorn.

“May I ask why Day Court is cancelled, Your Majesty?” Private Dusk asked, the white frosting still present on top of his muzzle. While his partner tried to be respectful, her shoulders and back shaked as she laughed quietly. Dusk shot a glare towards Eclipse before looking back to the smirking princess.

“Oh, it’s nothing too bad. But, please, fashion yourself a clown nose and Lunar armor.” The princess chuckled slightly to herself as the guards saluted and went to go get the equipment. You brought this upon yourself, Luna, Celestia thought as her cackle echoed through the halls of Canterlot Castle.

* * *

Two Days Later…

Princess Luna sat eloquently atop her throne, a frown on her face as she quietly walked around her throne room, nodding to herself as she took in her surroundings, her frown soon turning to a scowl. Needless to say, she wasn't very amused.

Activating her horn, she levitated a box of cereal to herself, studying the exterior of the box and the design. In big letters was the words ‘Moonbutts’. And below it was a picture of a bowl filled to the brim with small moon shapes. And written crudely on the side of the box with a permanent marker was the word ‘Gotcha’.

The younger sister stared at the unending pillars of cereal boxes, all of them the same exact brand. Whoever left these were even as kind to shape them into architectural wonders, the pillars of boxes shaping into a curve and lining against the ceiling.

Turning her head, she gazed at the rows of gallons of milk, bowls, and spoons. On each gallon of milk was a letter, and was put into a phrase to read. After looking over them numerous times, the letters spelled out, ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold’. Luna groaned and turned to her two guards, who had a red and white Lunar armor on, as well as a puffy red clown nose.

Princess Luna returned to her throne and hummed to herself for quite awhile, her eyes glossy as her hooves convulsed on the armrests. She took a deep breath and exhaled, a smirk finding itself on her face as she stood up.

“Guards! Ready your pies and paper plates,” Princess Luna dropped to a harsh whisper, “We have a prank-war to win.”

Final Bonus Chapter: "The Royal Prank War!"

Author's Note

Title suggested by Luna Lily Ruby. I also want to thank each and everyone of you for the immense amount of reception I've recieved. I just joined the site a few days ago and I already am happy. Enjoy the chapter!

P.S. I apologize for the short length, but I kind of used up all of my creativity on the first two chapters.

Final Bonus Chapter: "The Royal Prank War!"

The Good, The Bad, and The Celestial Butts.

All was silent, not a peep emanating from anypony. In the sky, the two times wrestled each other for control. One side was day, with the Sun hanging high above the world. On the other sky was the Moon, its radiant light raining down on those who chose to bask in it. As to why, well, for the first time in years, there was a war.

Princess Celestia stood on the far end of one of the hallways in Canterlot Castle, a breadstick in her magical grasp. Upon her face was a look of determination, and a small smile. In front of her was a line of her finest guards, two of them being Private Dusk and Private Eclipse, who still had the decorated Lunar Armor on and a clown nose plastered on their muzzle. All of them held pies in their hooves or were suspended in the air by magic. Some of them even had breadsticks of their own.

Princess Luna glared at her sister, a firm and just look on her complexion. She also beared a breadstick in her magic, floating by her side. Her guards donned water balloons and flimsy sticks. This war was last minute, and unlike her sister, she didn't keep pies and breadsticks on standby. Clearly, the older sister knew this was coming and acted accordingly.

“You were supposed to watch the Day Court! Not leave it in ruin!” Princess Celestia broke the silence by yelling at her younger sister, trying to suppress the urge to grin. She knew this was silly and ridiculous, but she was having too much fun. Of course, she would have to make up a lot of Day Court due to missing so much time.

“Well, from my perspective, the Day Court is boring!” Princess Luna replied in a shout, her eyes focused on her older sister. This war may decide the outcome of Equestria for many years to come. She was willing to do whatever she could to win it, even if it meant… Assassinating her with a water gun.

“Then you are lost!” Celestia shouted, pointing her hoof forward at Luna, signaling her guards to attack. The guards let a war cry escape from their mouths as they charged into battle, heaving pies at their allies, er, enemies. They then donned their breadsticks and waited for an opponent to challenge them.

“Charge!” Princess Luna ordered, her guards heeding her call and galloping to meet Celestia’s guards head-on. Water balloons ejected from their hooves and struck a few of the Solar Guards. The ones who were struck quick pulled out permanent markers and drew an X over both of their eyes and dropped to the ground.

Now that all of the ranged weapons were out of commission, they dueled each other in the middle of the hallway. However, the Lunar Guards’ choice of weapons were horrendous, and Celestia’s guards took advantage of it, breaking the weak sticks and leaving them defendless. They then struck and ended their lives… Not really.

Princess Luna groaned out loud and teleported away, leaving Celestia, her guards, and the dead guards. She smirked and prepared herself, but before she left too, she walked up to the guards in the hallway.

“Thank you all, you're all relieved. Private Dusk and Private Eclipse, you're both promoted to Private First Class.” She said walking past them down the hall.

“Really?!” The two guards excitedly said, their eyes wide open and their muzzles curving upwards into a big smile. Princess Celestia turned back to them with a cheeky smirk.

“No.” She quickly said before teleporting out of the hallway. The two guards sighed before leaving to clean themselves up in the shower. They humiliated themselves, she could at least promote them for real.

* * *

Princess Celestia walked slowly through another hallway, keeping any eye out for younger sister. She could strike any moment and she needed to be prepared for it. Her hoofsteps echoed in the hall as she neared her own court room.

“Ha!” Luna screamed out as she jumped out of a room to the side of Celestia, lashing out at her with her breadstick. Celestia defended herself with her own breadstick, blocking her sister’s attacks. Luna kept getting frustrated by Celestia’s blocking, so she bucked her into the court room.

The older sister landed perfectly on her hooves and backed up onto her throne, her breadstick levitating in the air as she breathed through nose, her attempt to not smile failing. She covered her mouth with a hoof as a large grin formed on her muzzle.

“I have the high ground, Luna, don’t try it!” She yelled to her younger sister, who also shared a smirk upon her lips. She then shook her head and regained her ferious glare.

“I’ll try…” Luna muttered before jumping high into the air, closing in on Celestia’s throne. Celestia sliced through the air, decapitating Luna’s breadstick in half. Luna landed right next to her sister and stared at the severed breadstick on the floor.

“... Pizza?”

“Pizza.”

The End.