Falling Into A New Life

-out?" It felt like I was falling. I learned this was true when I felt the very painful landing.

"What the? Halt!" I heard a deep voice command.

"Now who's there... I don't feel well." I replied blurringly before passing out.

You ever regret doing something immediately after you do it? Not some long off thing that comes back to bite you, no I'm talking about immediate realization about how badly you just messed up. This is one of those times. I woke up feeling like someone lit my skull on fire, unable to move, unable to see, and no idea where I was. All things considered I think I reacted quite well.

I made sure to politely let who ever was near know I was awake and slightly uncomfortable. You know like a true gentlemen would. "OW what the fucking shit my head! What the hell I can't see-"I proceeded to test out my surroundings but learned I was restrained for my own safety, how considerate of them. I, of course calmed down so I could learn about my new situation. I wouldn't want my new friends work to have been wasted after all. "-holy shit I can't move, what did you kidnapping piece of shits do to me! Im going to rip your fucking limbs off if you don't let me go! Oh god, why me..."

I next heard a very polite and gruff sounding fellow ask me to relax in a very understanding tone, while he gently stopped me from hurting myself on the restraints. "Stop jerking around like a fish out of water you pansy! If ya don't stop ye squirming than I'll give ya something to squirm about."

Of course I responded as understandingly and politely as I possibly could. "Fuck you, you backwoods neckbeard sounding mother fucker, let me go!"

The gentleman kindly understood my plight and decided to talk about some very reasonable options I might be inclined to choose between. "The hell did ya say bout my mother? You either calm down or I'll castrate ya and use your dick as fish bait you vile creature!"

Just than a very refined women, or so I assumed, tried to help the situation along. "Captain please, the creature is obvisously just scared. Would you kindly calm down so we can discuss and learn from each other? Surely this foolish arguing is getting us nowhere."

The captain sighed heavily and replied "Fine, but if he doesn't stop insulting me and ma mother, I'll give him a real reason to be in the hospital."

Is that where I am... than why am i blinded and restrained? "Alright, I'll leave the insults alone if you would kindly tell me why I'm restrained and blinded."

The captain spoke with laughter failing to hide in his voice "Ehh you can tell em lieutenant. This'll be good."

The lieutenant acknowledged this with a tone of misery. "Well you see... you're currently at the private infirmary in the capital of the Phoenix Empire." She said this with no small amount of pride in her voice" During a routine patrol of me and Gifford here-" so thats the jackass's gentlemen's name "-you suddenly appeared over us and... um."

With an uproar of laughter that worsened my headache Gifford came to her rescue, or so I thought. "You Becking fell right on her head with ur parts! I swear from the way she reacted it was her first time seeing a pair! Ha, oh, he he, It made me entire day that did. And just look at her face, it gets any redder I think she'll pass out just like you did!"

Did his accent just worsen? I actually wanted to see that and in no way was I embarrassed, or wanting to distract them from such a riveting tale. "I would love to see that but, I'm still kinda blinded over here."

"Oh right let me get that for you" he replied as his accent... disappeared? Wtf? And my headaches completely gone.

As he started removing what ever was blinding me the, still nameless, lieutenant continued the story. "Yes well, after the incident we checked you over, to find you had a very bad case of teleportation sickness-"

"Something only cubs get just so you know." Gifford kindly let me know, still, no accent.

"-... yes well as I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted. We found you lying there sick with a very bad case of teleportation sickness rarely seen in adults." Wow, he was telling the truth, shit. Wait hold on did they say teleportation? "As you are an unidentified creature we brought you here to be treated and observed, to determine if you are hostile, and what you're doing here."

With a very level voice of unending calmness and serenity I implored her to continue on such a fascinating subject. "Wait what? Teleportation sickness, unidentified creature? What the hell are you..." The sight that greeted me as Gifford finally removed the restraint blocking my vision, a pony decked out in armor with a weapon strapped to its side, a pony dressed as a nurse standing as far away from me as she could get, with a very nervous expression on her face, and finally, what appeared to be a griffon, also decked out in armor with a very long spear in its hands/talons. But that wasn't the worst part, oh no, right where my body should be was a big black furry thing strapped down to a table. Like any sensible, and normal person, I promptly screamed like a banshie. Which of course startled the griffon, causeing him to take his spear and well... I don't really remember what happened next.