The Derpy I Know and Love

“See, I told you back at Bon-Bon and Lyra’s reception, when you got married, I would be at your wedding, you would wear one of my dresses and you wouldn’t be wearing your hat. I was even willing to bet you’d be wearing makeup.” Said Rarity smugly, and helping AJ out of her dress. It involved some magic and a lot of kisses.

“Oh Rarity,” Replied AJ, “I thought you loved me for the way I am. Now that we’re married, are you goin’ to try and change that?”

Rarity nodded, but AJ could tell she wasn’t serious.

They kissed a while. After removing her own gown, they crawled on the bed.

“You’re so sure ‘bout everythin’.”

“I’m sure that I made the right choice of ponies, Mrs. Apple” Said Rarity.

“I think I’ll have to agree with that, Mrs. Apple” Said AJ.

“I’m sure of something else Darling,” said Rarity.

“What’s that, Sugar Cube?”

Rarity looked behind the bed and levitated something.

“I’m sure you’ll never forget this night.”

“Hey! Where’d you get my lasso?”

Rarity only smiled as she levitated AJ’s hat to her own head and approached AJ.

“Ho, Doggies!”

On a higher level of the castle, Muffins and Twilight were getting ready for the night. They’d removed their dresses and put them away neatly, as only Twilight would do.

Muffins was standing outside on a balcony looking at the moon. Twilight had heard of Pegasi taking a wedding night flight, they’d make love among the clouds. Twilight approached her bride.

“Are you disappointed I can’t go fly with you? The hot air balloon proved too difficult to pack.”

“Oh you!” said Muffins, nudging Twilight with her flank, “It sounds silly but you make me fly higher than these wings ever could.”

Muffins put a wing over Twilight. They shared their first kiss alone as a wedded couple.

“Come on My Love,” said Muffins leading Twilight to the magnificent bed, “let’s see if it’s any different now we’re married.”

After a while, the two were laying on their backs. Trying to catch their breath. Muffins then turned to Twilight.

“No, pretty much the same.”

Twilight wasn’t sure how to take that.

“You appeared to be enjoying it.”

“Oh I didn’t say there was anything wrong. I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do than make love to you.” Muffins kissed Twilight deeply. It still took her breath away. “But it’s still the same.”

“Then what should we do?” said Twilight, almost annoyed.

“Darling, Darling please! I have the solution.”

This caught Twilight’s attention; Muffins golden eyes sparkled reflecting the only light in the room, which were the stars and the moon.

“Please forgive me but I’ve been holding out on you. I was saving it for something very special. And I think tonight qualifies.”

Twilight was intrigued.

“I hope it’ll not bother you but it’s something I learned from Shooting Star. Since you’ve never mentioned it, I only assumed it was because of your self-imposed separation from the other children. So you probably never learned the little things whispered on the playground.” Looking her wife in the eyes, Muffins asked, “do you know of Unicorn Horn Sex?”

Totally baffled, not recalling anything from the books, Twilight shook her head.

“I can’t say I have, I’ve not ever read anything about that.”

“It’s a technique that’s very, very personal. Shooting told me there are Unicorn couples who never do it because of the intense magic it releases.”

Muffins lay Twilight back on the bed and propped her head up with some pillows.

“Do you trust me, My Love?”

“With my life.”

Muffins smiled and moved to Twilight’s head. She softly brushed back the bangs of her forelock, exposing all her horn. Twilight’s mother’s wedding ring glistened where her scalp met the base of her horn.

“You must remember to thank your mother for the generous gift of the ring.

Now remember to be very careful, your horn is the organ of your magic. But it also can be a very dangerous weapon. So no matter how excited you become, no sudden moves. This takes passion as well as takes control.”

“I’ll remember,” said Twilight, becoming excited at the mystery.

“I dare say you will,” laughed Muffins in an odd way.

Muffins leaned forward and started to kiss the horn. At first there wasn’t anything special about it, other than being kissed by a pony that she loved so much. Then Muffins started licking it. Along the length and side to side as far as her tongue could reach. She worked her way from the base to the tip.

Twilight felt something happening. It was same feeling as when she was casting a spell but before the magic was released.

“I can taste it happening,” cooed Muffins.

Twilight felt like something was building in her head. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was as if a balloon was inflating right behind her eyes. Muffins continued, from the sound of it, Muffins was getting excited as well.

“Now here’s the part where you’ll have to be very careful. You’ll want me to get it all in my mouth.”

Muffins then put her lips around the tip of the horn, and she slid down the length of it. Twilight felt Muffins sliding her lips up and down it, she was getting further down each time. Her tongue was working on it as well. The pressure was building. She was sure her eyes were now as crossed as her wife’s.

Then Muffins slid back down and looked into Twilight’s eyes.

“Now do exactly as I tell you. Be gentle, so you don’t hurt me.”

She rolled on her back and spread her legs, with her hooves, she spread her marehood.

“Your horn is good and wet now, and so am I. Put your horn in me. Stop if you feel resistance.”

Twilight was starting to feel lightheaded from the feeling growing in her head. She crawled to the foot of the bed, looked at her wife. There was desire and fear in her eyes.

Twilight lowered her head, lined up and slowly entered Muffins. There was a gasp. Twilight was sorry that she couldn’t see her lover’s face. She slid forward until the tip touched Muffins’ womb.

“There Darling.” Muffins said, “Now back just a bit. There! Now remember what I told you about control and let me do the work, this time.”

With that, Muffins started sliding back and forth on Twilight’s horn. The feeling was amazing! A Unicorn’s horn is predominately a bony substance with a living core. But Twilight could feel everything as if it were covered with flesh. The sound of Muffins breathing and moaning let her know that Muffins was feeling something also. Muffins grinding became more intense. Twilight fought for control, she so wanted to assist but she knew that if she got carried away, she could injure her new wife, perhaps fatally. She couldn’t contain the feeling in her head much longer.

“Muffins!”

“I know, I know! Just a little longer!”

It was only a few more moments, but it felt like forever. Twilight tried to let her mind think of other things to try and distract her. But her thoughts kept came back to the act they were engaged in.

Then Muffins screamed;

“Now My Love! Oh Twilight! Now!”

Twilight relaxed her control. She felt the rush of power. She couldn’t see, but both her and Muffins were surrounded by Twilight’s purple magic aura. The light poured through the room, but it was most intense around the couple. It was a blinding glow, centered at Muffins abdomen, at the spot where Twilight's horn was buried deep in her lover.

Both mares screamed in ecstasy.

The light faded, the feeling of power continued to pulse, but subsided. Twilight just lay there, not yet willing to pull it out.

“Come up here my Darling.” Said Muffins.

Twilight slid up Muffins’ belly. Both were breathing hard. Twilight’s head felt clearer. Twilight looked deep in Muffins eyes, but she suddenly flinched.

“What is it?” said Twilight concerned.

“Something wet hit my face.”

There was a small glow from Twilight’s horn and the lights came on. There was a wet spot on Muffins’ cheek.

“It doesn’t look like blood,” said Twilight with relief.

“There’s something dripping from your horn.”

Muffins touched her hoof to the tip of the horn, she smelled then tasted. Her eyes went wide.

“Cum!”

“Where’re we going?” asked Twilight unsure of Muffins’ meaning.

“No silly, cum, seamen.”

Twilight was shocked.

“How?”

“I don’t know,” said Muffins, “but I bet I know somepony who will.”

They rolled off the bed, Muffins headed straight toward the door.

“Don’t you want to clean up first?”

“No!” Said Muffins intensely.

Twilight never doubted this pony from the start. She wasn’t going to start now.

They worked their way through the halls and down to the throne room. The doors were closed and two dragon-winged Pegasi were on guard.

“Lady Twilight, you’re out late.” Said the guard.

“We must see the princess.” Said Twilight sternly.

“Of course, my Lady. You only need to command.”

The doors opened and there seated, or more like sprawled out on the throne was the Princess of the Night.

“Twilight Sparkle, Muffins Sparkle! Two of my most beloved subjects. Please come in. Guards, leave us.”

The doors closed and the newlyweds approached the throne. Luna got up and met them.

“Princess Luna,” started Twilight, but the princess held up a hoof.

“You were given leave to address me as familiar back on Nightmare Night two years past, Luna, please. In some matters I stand on ceremony more than my sister does. But in others, I prefer familiarity. I do owe you much.

So what can be so important you’ve to come see me on this night? Have you come to ask advice, to brag or perhaps you seek assistance? I’m open to all,” said Luna smiling.

Twilight told Luna everything. Somehow she felt more comfortable telling this princess the intimate details. Perhaps more than had she’d to tell Celestia.

“Intense ‘horngasm’ eh?” Smiled the princess. Then looking at Muffins, “are you sure that it was seamen?”

“Yes, Luna. I was married to a stallion before. I still remember the look, smell and taste.” Said Muffins blushing.

“So I don’t need to check for myself?” Luna said kidding.

Muffins shook her head, not sure if the princess was pulling her leg.

“Guards.” called the princess. The Guard entered. “Get my sister. Tell her it’s an urgent matter. Now go!”

Seeing the look in the two pony’s eyes she said.

“Don’t worry, it isn’t bad, they just expect it of me and, I do love theatrics!” Luna said with a wink.

Celestia entered the room, she looked as if she was awakened from a sound sleep. She wasn’t wearing any tiara or collar. Only a pajama shirt that said:

‘Hand over the cake and nopony gets hurt!’

Twilight and Muffins bowed, trying not to laugh at Celestia’s garment. It was a very poorly kept ‘secret’ around the castle that Celestia has a weakness for cake.

“Please my children, rise. It’s too late to play court games. It must be important if you’ve interrupted the consummation of your marriage.

“Please, My Sister. Come with me and I’ll explain and spare these any further embarrassment.” Then turning to the guard, “you’re dismissed. Please go check the grounds. Nopony is to be outside these doors for at least an hour. And I’ll know if my instructions weren’t followed.”

Luna took her sister aside and spoke low. Only once did Celestia look back at the two, then returned to her conversation with Luna.

Twilight and Muffins were standing with their sides touching. They both could feel a slight tremor in the other. It mustn’t be a horrible thing, but it was important, for Luna to waken Celestia.

“My children,” said Celestia returning to the two waiting mares. “My sister has informed me of this evenings events. Muffins My Dear, would you allow Luna and I to examine you. It won’t hurt, it won’t be invasive, but to answer the questions, it’s necessary.”

“It’s alright, Honey,” said Twilight, nuzzling her wife. “You can trust the princesses implicitly.”

“I do, My Love, but for some reason I’m becoming concerned.”

“Please don’t child,” said Celestia. “And please come over here between Luna and myself. You can face Twilight if it’ll help. But she must stay where she is.”

Muffins walked to the princesses turned and faced Twilight. The princesses, standing on either side of Muffins, touched their horns to Muffins withers.

The princesses closed their eyes. A combined gold and blue aura covered Muffins. She looked at Twilight frightened.

“I love you,” Twilight mouthed to her wife.

“I love you too,” Muffins mouthed back.

It didn’t take the princesses long. They opened their eyes and looked at each other, Luna nodded her head then told Muffins to go stand with Twilight.

“Please be totally open to me my children, and hold nothing back.”

The couple nodded.

“Twilight,” started Celestia. “what were your thoughts during this sex act?”

Twilight thought and then nervously cleared her throat.

“Well, Your Highness, I’d cleared my mind of the moment, as not to... To... To… Be too hasty. I started wondering if this is how a male feels during sex. Then I thought how great it’d be to be able to give new life as with male and female.”

“Then what happened? Don’t be shy. Know that what you say, stays here an you can count on Luna and I to be as trustworthy as if we were mothers or sisters.”

“The intense feeling hit, the ‘horngasm’ as Luna called it, I felt power flow. It was as if part of myself was leaving through my horn. Not a feeling of loss, I can’t explain it any other way.”

“I see.” Said Celestia.

“And what were you thinking?” asked Luna to Muffins.

“I was thinking of how happy I was to have somepony to love me this deeply. I remembered to when Shooting Star and I shared. But this act was never this intense, never at such a level this deep.” She turned to Twilight, “I’m sorry that my thoughts strayed to him. But I’d thought the only thing he could ever do for me you couldn’t was give me a child.”

She looked down, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry My Love, I don’t think any less of you.” Then Twilight kissed her.

Celestia spoke softly with Luna and turned back to them.

“Did either of you discusses these matters before having sex?”

The answer from both was no.

“Then My Dears, Unicorn Horn Sex is a very powerful act. So powerful some couples never attempt it.” Said Luna.

“This is your answer,” continued Celestia, “your outstanding love for each other was amplified by Twilight Sparkle’s magic, along with the Blessing of the Princesses. It acted on your thoughts.”

Twilight and Muffins looked confused.

“Go back to your ‘celebration’ My Children.” Said Luna smiling. “But Muffins, don’t attempt anything too strenuous for some time. And with your depth perception. I’d advise not to fly if it can be helped.”

“Why’s that?” Muffins asked.

“Because My Dear,” Said Celestia. “you’re now with foal. Your foal, Twilight. We read her heart and mind as well as her body. She’s been a faithful mare, don’t doubt her. But don’t expect this to ever happen again. It’s something I’ve never heard of happening at this level, in over three thousand years.”

Twilight didn’t know if she’d slumped against Muffins or the other way around. Neither was keeping their footing very well.

The princesses embraced the two.

“Now go back to what you were doing.” Said Luna, “or do you need me to come and give some assistance?”

Luna gave her sly wink, which made it hard to know if she was joking or serious. Celestia just rolled her eyes and shook her head because of her sister’s forwardness.

It was hours later and Twilight and Muffins were in bed, just holding each other.

“A foal,” said Twilight, “a foal.” Twilight was rubbing a hoof against Muffins’ abdomen. She knew there’d be nothing she could feel for months to come, but It gave her a feeling of connection.

“When you realized what was dripping from my horn, you were hoping for this, weren’t you. That’s why you didn’t want to clean up.”

“Are you disappointed or does it bother you My Love?”

“No, Elysium no.” Twilight said kissing Muffins. “It’s just, before you, I never had considered any kind of a family.

I thought I was content to live my life, my personal life, alone. Then came a fateful night when the storm blew a wet bedraggled pony to my door.

She said she was there to talk. But she ended up being a thief, she stole my heart.

That’s when the first thoughts of family even entered my heart. I was so happy to hear you had children, because I knew a relationship with you would mean those children would be all I could have.

I guess that was wrong.

Now I have to consider things I’ve never thought of before. And I’m so happy to have to do so. But what about you? You’re the one who will have to carry the…

I mean our foal.”

“Twilight, I’ve always thought that foals were the ultimate expression of love between two ponies. Their love was so great it couldn’t be contained between just two.

I love you so much and I felt like I was cheating you because I couldn’t give you a child. It’s something I considered at first, but I thought it something that’d have to be understood with our relationship. That it wasn’t to be.

Or so I thought.

Understand I thought this way from the first and I in no way have cast you in the role of ‘the male’. And just because you impregnated me, still doesn’t make you so. I love a very intelligent, caring, and beautiful mare.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” Said Twilight, she’d never considered herself as anything but plain.

“Yes I do My Love.” Said Muffins and then giggling. “Rainbow Dash told me all about that ‘Pinkie Pie in your bed’ thing, and how obsessed you became. Luckily for me, everypony said they loved you as a friend, but you were never any of their types. I believe that most ponies remarked something about scrawny flanks.

Well about a week ago, Rainbow said she’d just come from Rarity’s and you had been trying on your wedding dress. She mentioned how lucky I was. Since I’d been feeding you regularly your flanks had filled out quite nicely and if I’d any doubts about you, to let her know and she’d be happy to take you off my hooves!”

The two burst out in laughter.

“I’ll never let Rainbow Dash live that down!” said Twilight, happy to have something on her friend.