Vinyl Scratch, The Master Chef
Market Quarrel ♡
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Hearts and Hooves Day weekend found a way to always have hectic activity, ponies scrounging around in hopes of finding a special gift. Mares and stallions wouldn’t dream of forgetting about their special somepony on a special occasion or face the unbridled rage of an angry pony.
Vinyl and Octavia’s distance approaching the Barnyard Bargains supermarket, lessened once they were coming closer. Barnyard Bargains was wise enough to promote Hearts and Hooves Day selling more of their products on such an important holiday. Filthy Rich would be dumb as a post not to take advantage of something like this, more bits in his pockets than he can carry.
They walked on to a row of metal shopping carts, Octavia delicately moved the cart before Vinyl had a chance to hop in. Her ears flopped to the sides of her head with a quiet sigh. “Aww c’mon, Octavia! I never get a chance to ride in the cart,” Her grumpy face transitioned into a pouting expression.
Octavia whispered into her ear, pointing to the “No Riding” sticker on the cart’s rear end. “Pish posh, Vinyl. You can’t have fun all the time, besides you forgot about getting me a gift...again.”
“I said I would make it up to you!” Vinyl made sure that Octavia could hear her.
Octavia knew her games all too well. Sexual tactics and sweet talking weren’t always the way to go, that didn’t stop Vinyl from getting her into bed by any means necessary.
She tugged on her bow and kept a stern face, pushing the cart on the welcome mat. “Sex does not always solve all problems, you should know that by now.”
“The sliding doors opened automatically after they both stepped on the welcome mat. Sweet smells of commercialism and products sold to fill in the empty heart of one’s body, trivial possessions just to make a quick bit. I have no words.” Octavia’s thoughts collected, wheeling down the frozen food aisle.
Other ponies shopping around her surrounding area couldn’t help but turn around at the eloquent mare stopping dead in her tracks.
“Tavi, were you just thinking to yourself and ignoring other ponies staring at you?” Vinyl pointed out, walking by her side.
“My my, oh you mean what just happened? Pay them no mind.” Octavia pushed one freezer door open, grabbing a box of fancy pasta.
Reaching her hoof deep into her bag, Octavia fished out a list of named foods next to unchecked mark boxes.
“Tavi, what is this business about?” Vinyl asked, looking dumbfounded and examining the list.
Octavia heaved a heavy sigh, her face had a fake smile plastered. “It’s simple. You need to follow the list step by step, gathering all of the things on the list for a romantic dinner tonight.”
“Tavi, Tavi, Tavi. Silly and naive Octavia, you should know me by now.” Vinyl violently shook her head.
“What is there left to know?” Octavia tapped her chin, thinking intricately.
“O-Oh nothing. So about this list,” she groaned, showing Octavia the last item on the list. “What’s the point of having frozen pasta for dinner tonight? Frozen pasta is kinda shitty.”
“Because… I don’t want to cook?” Octavia said simply like that, pushing the cart. Vinyl pouted. “I am plain tired, you know that! I am sorry. I did wanted to be able to do it, but I spended hours practicing and Frederic said it is still not as good as we need it to be,” she sighed while Vinyl frowned at Frederic Horseshoe’s name being mentioned. Vinyl hated that guy. His accent wasn’t adorable like Octavia’s, he was arrogant and he just tried to flirt with Octavia every time they were talking. Vinyl wanted to shove a record up on his ass.
Vinyl scoffed. “Why do you even talk with that dumbass anyways? Your music is great, okay? I mean, it’s boring, but you’re the best cello player of Equestria, who Frederic even is to say those shit,” she rolled her eyes, hidden behind her trademark and “too cool for school” shades.
Octavia let out a small laugh as she trotted looking for the next element needed for a romantic dinner. Wine. ‘I should acquire vodka or something as such for Vinyl… she never drinks wine anyways, and when she does her face crunches up in a frown. Silly mare,’ she thought with herself with a little smile. The only wine Vinyl would ever drink was the more sweet ones and personally Octavia hated those.
“Vinyl, love, I think Frederic is… I do not know… maybe just the actual owner of the Canterlot Symphonic Orchestra?” she frowned at Vinyl, who opened her mouth to protest and probably let out her opinions about the stallion, but she interrupted, “He is the one in charge, I cannot go against him. Besides, critic is always welcome.”
Octavia smiled as Vinyl and her trotted into the drinks aisle, which a several number of ponies got their wines. Normal couples of ponies did. But Octavia? No, she had to buy two things, just because she was marefriend of Vinyl Scratch., and if there was a thing that Vinyl wasn’t that was normal.
“I still think that guy should shut the fuck up,” Vinyl opined again, loudly enough to make ponies look at her and her estense and totally fancy vocabulary. Vinyl mentally told them to also fuck themselves, because she was a free mare and her mouth had been made to speak and she would speak whatever the fuck she wanted. Octavia also frowned at her, but, as always, was ignored with a lazy smile. “Anyways, I’m doin’ the pasta ‘cause I’m pro at cooking.” Vinyl told her suddenly while getting a bottle of vodka with her magic and putting in the cart with satisfaction. Then she proceeded to get Octavia’s favorite kind of wine because she was a good marefriend and totally romantic.
Octavia frowned, then looked surprised. “What? You?” she laughed receiving a curious look from Vinyl.
“What? Tavi, you should know Vinyl Scratch is the most pro mare at cooking ever, okay? I mean, it’s meant to be a romantic dinner, right? That’s why I’m doin’ the stuff tonight,” she winked at Octavia, who looked at her with disbelief and then started laughing again, making Vinyl grunt.
“How romantic,” Octavia mocked after stopping with her laughing. “I’m sorry Vinyl, that’s just… not you. You’re not normally so romantic to do a dinner for me and you. I also think that your cooking techniques may be something that came out of your dreams,” she mocked once again. Octavia blushed a little then, smiling genuinely at Vinyl, “But I think I may enjoy your courtesy for now,” she smiled kindly, “I also want to see your amazing cooking tactics. I cannot lose that for the world,” she once again laughed. Vinyl puffed her chest, being proud about her own convincing skills.
“Now let’s get some real pasta stuff for the pro masterchef here, milady, please, follow me,” Vinyl mocked taking lead trotting in front of Octavia who followed behind with their cart with some drinks and the probably terrible frozen pasta. They proceeded to get everything Vinyl said they needed to: Actual pasta, sauce which Vinyl made several bad sex puns with it just because she could and also some shitty mulch to decorate it so she could call her masterpiece fancy. Octavia got candles, so it would be a true romantic dinner. She just hoped Vinyl’s ‘cooking tactics’ weren’t as shitty tasting (like Vinyl herself said) as the frozen pasta.
Later that night…
Vinyl coughed, putting her ‘Kiss the Wub’ apron on with a proud look. All the ingredients were set into the kitchen stand and Octavia’s eyes were set at her marefriend, looking at her with expectation. Vinyl had no shades on and she glared at the not yet ready food with narrowed eyes and a look she should give to her worst enemies. Their table was already set, with lighten up candles on it and dishes set in front of their seats.
“So…? When are you starting this, love? I am here waiting to learn your amazing skills,” Octavia mocked. She wouldn’t normally mock anypony else, but Vinyl was a exception.
“The master needs a moment to think, Octy,” she coughed once again and then started working on the food, opening the can of sauce and putting it in a pan and then putting it in the stove so it could heat up. Vinyl got a spoon with her magic, stirring the sauce. While she worked on it, she worked on getting the spaghetti out and on a pan too. She turned to Octavia for a moment, “See, Tavi? I’m more pro than my dad, okay? And he was from Coltalia, I mean… I make better spaghetti than him. I’m too good to be real, I think I should get some credit for it, huh,” Vinyl wiggled her eyebrows. Vinyl’s father had been a great cooker, who came from a humble unicorn family from Coltalia and Vinyl was a absolutely pasta lover because of that. Or just because she liked the stereotype. Either way, spaghetti was the absolute best and nopony could say otherwise.
Octavia looked monotonous. “Yes. But I think that does come after everything, am I right?” she looked smugly at her, and Vinyl looked defeated.
“Meh, alright then, I tried.” She sniffed the air then, looking back at the sauce. The spoon stopped stirring, since it required her attention to keep doing it, and the sauce was starting to burn. Vinyl widened her eyes and tried to fastly turn off the stove. When she did, she turned back at Octavia with a nervous smile. Her marefriend had a frown. “Uh… I kinda bucked with the sauce.”
Octavia was going to protest, but she stopped herself, rolling her eyes with a kind smile. She got up from her seat, shaking her head and trotted towards a slightly blushing Vinyl, placing a kiss to her cheek and right after it she gave her a little slap on her back. “You are stupid, you knew that, Vinyl?” she rolled her eyes once again.
“Since I was born,” she joked, looking defeatedly at the shitty made sauce. It looked ugly now. She turned to Octavia, “I can go to the mall and get some more. I mean… the pasta isn’t burn so we just need more sauce and-”
Octavia put a hoof on her mouth, “Let’s just… order something or maybe eat popcorn. Vinyl way.” She smiled at Vinyl, who looked confused.
“But… isn’t that too lame for you? Octy, you wanted-”
“I know what I wanted, but… It’s not about the food, Vinyl,” Octavia sighed kissing her softly, this time on her lips, “It is about one of the rare Hearts and Hooves Days where I’m not needing to practice and you don’t need to work either, so we can spend it together. And I think eating some popcorn and seeing a cliche film is good enough for myself,” she snuggled her marefriend for a moment, just enjoying the moment.
“Wow,” Vinyl said after a second, “That’s… pretty gay, Tavi. Even for you.”
Octavia couldn’t help but laugh. “Well,” she stepped away to look at Vinyl, “I still wonder why is that? You idiot.”
“You love me and my gay flank, you know it,” she mocked, biting her ear, making Octavia blush.
“Yes, I know,” she sighed, “Now please just clean the mess you made. I am going undo our amazingly romantic table and to do some popcorn so we can be… gay together,” she rolled her eyes with a mocking smile and gave Vinyl a smooch after leaving the kitchen to unmake their dining table.
Vinyl chuckled and sighed for herself.
She wasn’t the best cooker, but she was sure she had the most cute and best marefriend ever. She probably was the luckiest pony in Equestria for having Octavia Melody by her side. And that was more than enough for Vinyl Scratch.
Author's Note
This is indeed my last story on this site. It has been a good three year rollercoaster ride that I enjoyed until the end, I'll be lurking around and not logging in on the site though, thanks again to all the writers who helped me on this journey.
God bless and farewell!
