Dash Eats Meat!

by theRedBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Gilda, Random
Length: 1363

Gilda's eating lunch at flight camp and Dash gets a little curious...

Name's Gilda. Ya know, me n Dash did some crazy stuff together at flight camp. But this one time, I wasn't so hot on Dash's little craving at lunch. Hey! Don't gimme that look! I didn't MAKE her do it!

Short one-shot. Another something I had stuck in my head.

YouTube Reading by AShadowOfCygnus

Published 2012-06-19 15:54:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-19 05:43:58 UTC

This one time, at flight camp

This one time, at flight camp…

*Snicker*

OK, so it happened back in Junior Speedster Flight Camp. Ah the good ol' days, when flying was still fun. Anyway, we had just finished a great morning flying session and it was lunchtime. I was sitting next my best friend Dash. But I guess now we're not technically… never mind. It was just another ordinary day, or so I thought. Dash was babbling on about the aerial maneuvers she did that morning, but I was just zoning out and mumbling "uh-huh" or "mmm-hmm," even an occasional "wow," just to seem interested.

"…loop the loop around and... WHAM!" She said as I zoned back in, noticing that was the end of her rant. Don't get me wrong, I loved flying just as much as she did. I'd just rather be out doing it.

"Yeah Dash that was awesome!" I said with a beakful of food, acting excited.

"Hey G," Dash looked at me with her head cocked sideways, "whatcha eatin'?"

So then I was like, 'Oh GREAT, this again!' It's like the one thing I really can't stand about ponies. Most of them are lame anyway, but this is the REALLY lame part. They ALWAYS freak out. But this was different… I never had the usual convo with Dash, or the inevitable freak-out. I think I thought she knew already and just didn't question it. But I guess I was wrong. I just swallowed, and got ready for the shitstorm.

"Dash, um…" I began.

She cut me off, "It's meat isn't it?"

So at least she knew, but this was the moment it would all be going downhill. I just nodded and watched her expression. Dash just kept that thinking-face on.

"So griffons eat meat, huh?" I thought that should've been obvious at that point, but at least she wasn't freaking out… Yet…

"Yeah…" was all I could say, still waiting for it.

"Hmm…" she scratched her chin with a hoof.

I gave up waiting and took another bite. Bad idea.

"Can I try some?"

I spat out my food. "DASH! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Yeah…?" She said it more like a question.

I didn't even know what to say or do. I couldn't just feed a pony MEAT! It's unnatural and wrong and… what if she liked it?! What if it made her sick? What would her little animal-loving friend think of her if she found out?

"No!" I said!

"Why not?!

"I… you… it's… it's not right!"

"Aw c'mon G! Just a bite!"

I didn't even know where this was coming from! Why now? We'd been eating lunch together for weeks and I was the only griffon there. The only one of them that was eating take out. I didn't exactly dig the food there. Don't get me wrong, there's some pony food I like, but at flight camp, most of it had hay, oats, or grass. Yeah… no thanks.

Dash scooched over on the cafeteria bench towards me. I put my talons over my food to protect it from her, or maybe it was the other way around. She reached a hoof out to it and I smacked it away.

But Dash was the coolest pony I knew, and if any pony would've asked me to try meat, it would've been her. All the rest of them freak out, one way or another. They either gag or run away. Or both. One of them fainted. Good times.

"Are you REALLY sure you want to?" I had to make sure.

"…Yeah." She lied. She totally wasn't sure.

But I caved anyway and picked a small piece of meat off the bone.

Just as I held it up to her, she asked, "What animal is it?" Pointing a hoof at the meat in my talons.

"Chicken." I said carefully. I knew her yellow pony friend kept chickens. Dash told me all about her. So I thought that might turn her off. And it did. I could see it in her face. But she wasn't backing down. She always was stubborn. Maybe I should have said it was 'pony' instead.

She leaned closer to me and opened her mouth, squinting her eyes and looking away. I gently placed the tiny piece of meat on her little orange pony tongue. I could not believe what I was doing. Was it wrong of me? It felt like it, but this is Dash we're talking about here! She clamped her mouth shut and chewed carefully. She looked around the room like she was trying to remember something. Maybe she was checking if any other pony was watching. She wasn't gagging or spitting it out. At that point I was like 'Oh crap. She likes it. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!'

"It's kinda tough to chew," she said, still chewing it. It wasn't exactly the tenderest chicken, if I remember right, but I guess her flat pony teeth weren't helping. So I decided to help her out with that problem, if ya catch my drift.

She finally swallowed it. "It was weird, but it didn't taste like much… what're you doing?" She said, noticing me doing a certain something.

"Well you had trouble chewing it so I thought I'd help ya with that," I said as I stuck my tongue out, with a little bit of half-digested food on it.

"Did you just… HOCK that UP?"

I nodded and said "Uh-huh!" with an open beak and a huge smile.

"EEEEeeewww!!!"

"Wha?" I mumbled, beak still open. I stored the food in a cheek so I could say the rest, "This is how my mom fed me when I was a cub!"

"That's gross!"

"You sure ya don't want some?" I offered her a tongue-load of regurgitated chicken again and a big open beaked smile again.

"Nooooo thanks… I think I'll stick with my hay sammich," she said. I swallowed the food on my tongue again and breathed a sigh of relief. And so the world was safe once again. And Rainbow Dash never ate meat again. (At least not that I know of…)

Dash picked up her sandwich with her hooves and munched away. One time I asked her how the hay ponies can do stuff like that without claws or talons. But that's a story for another time.

Author's Note: Pardon my heavy use of vernacular, I think it fits Gilda a little better than completely formal writing.

Wait, There's More?

Sup ponies. Gilda here. What, were you expecting someone else? Thanks a bunch for all the views, positive feedback, fav's, thumbs ups (hehe ponies don't have thumbs!), and three days in the feature box! I really didn't expect this much attention for my little one-shot! But hey, I guess it's those crazy one-off little memories that make cool stories. Or I just got lucky. Who knows, right?

Anyways, Dash Eats Meat was meant to be a short one-shot from the get-go. It was just one of those old times that I was thinking about all day long, so I figured I'd put it on paper. I didn't think it'd get all this attention! Not that I'm complaining... I think I had a smile plastered on my beak for those 3 days that would make that pink pony jealous.

I know this was a one-shot... but I couldn't help writing down some more of me and Dash's flight camp fun. I know a lot of ponies wanted a continuation, but if you didn't, don't hate me for it. But if you do hate me, that's OK... a lot of ponies hate me... even... *sniff* ...her.

Here ya go:

This One Time, At Flight Camp

So, if you haven't already, it'd be rad if you 'watch' me, because I'll have some interesting stuff coming out. I got a lot of cool stories cooking up. I'll try not to make a bunch of blog posts that fill up your notifications list when you're watching me. Cuz it bugs me when the dweebs I'm watching post a blog for every little 'hey, check out this ponytube link!' (If I'm watching you, forget I said that...)