Morel Lunatics

Chapter 3

It had been a few hours since, and we were playing Super Smash Brothers together again. "Hey, Luna?"

"Yes?" She focused on the game while I casually sat next to her.

I was curious about what I could ask her to do, "You said you owed me a favor, right?"

"I suppose I did. But if you request me to lose the match, I shall only beat you harder next time." She grinned confidently at me.

"Ha! As if. I'm not sure you could suck more if you tried." I actually got lucky and exploded her character off the edge with a bomb as I said that.

The darkening room informed me that I had aroused her ire, "Your arrogance knows no bounds, whelp."

"Big words for loser. Back it up or pack it up." I laughed at her as she died immediately after spawning.

"Aaarrg! This match is unfair! The game itself wishes me to lose!" She died again, this time when a box spawned on her. She turned and looked at me suspiciously."You! You have ensorceled it to ensure your victory!"

"What?" Was all I could manage before she roughly tackled me.

I quickly found myself pinned to the bed on my back with her staring down at me. Her eyes were open wide, but her iris had shrunk down, leaving them mostly creepy white space. I suddenly realized that she had fangs, and very sharp teeth. I didn't know if I'd missed them or if they were new. The stars had gone out in her hair, leaving it a dark empty void framing her snarling face.

A black miasma was filling the room, making it colder. She pressed down on me hard, hurting my shoulders, "Thee cole..." her voice was low and dangerous. But I'd learned this one before. It meant "swindler." She was calling me a cheater. "T wast a cog..." I didn’t know the word, but could infer what she meant from her tone.

And it pissed me off.

You know how I said I lost my temper occasionally? Well, I hadn't lost it completely with her before. I was a lot of things. I was aggressive, mean, sometimes stupid—in short a complete prick. But I was not a cheater. Every game I'd ever won, I'd done so honestly. I'd gotten kicked out of trading card games, tabletop games, and school betting pools. I wasn't even allowed back to the chess club. All because they thought I cheated. And I'd never, ever, once cheated.

The darkness in the room and her feral snarling face didn’t bother me anymore. All I could see was red. Strength surged through my body and I threw her off me with a burst of adrenaline. She was stronger than me, but still light. Her wings spread and she hovered a few feet away from me, her eyes going from wild and angry to focused and aggressive. Her posture changed and she lowered her head, pointing her horn at me, the snarl peeling back farther than should be possible.

I jumped to my feet, standing naked on my bed holding a pillow in one furiously shaking hand and pointing at her with the other, "No! No you fucking don't!" I stepped forward and screamed at her, "I did not cheat, you whiny bitch! I was winning fair and square!"

She screamed back at me,"Thy arrogance is thy undoing! To the cheats with thee!" Her horn glowed blue as electricity cackled across its length. She closed her eyes and yelled in a guttural rage as her eyes began to glow.

Any semblance of control I had was shed and I screamed back at her as she raged, "I am not a cheater!" I howled in a blind rage, "Fucking cunt!" I jumped at her then, slamming the pillow down on her head. It occurred to me as I was flying through the air, naked mind you, that I was attacking an ancient angry goddess armed with literally nothing but a pillow. Unfortunately, by the time I realized what I was doing, it was far too late to stop, and the pillow was skewered on her horn.

There is a little something that's very important to know right now. You see, I don't sleep well. But I'm rich. So I bought ridiculously expensive pillows from Germany that are supposed to adjust their firmness and softness based on temperature and humidity. They don't work at all, but it turns out they have wires and a lithium ion battery inside. And when you over charge a lithium ion battery, it tends to explode. Honestly, they're just awful pillows now that I think about it.

We were both surprised as the pillow erupted with a bang into a small fireball—causing us to tumble to the ground and land in a heap. Luna looked dazed and confused, the energy from her horn having dissipated. She wasn't moving to get up. I saw a slight scratch on her face where a bit of shrapnel had grazed her. She was lightly bleeding.

My anger left instantly, replaced with concern. I did it again. I hurt somebody when I was angry again. I should have known better. I did know better. "Oh shit.." She still didn't move. "Oh shit..." She turned her head and looked at me."Oh thank god! Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" She continued to look blankly at me.

I held up two fingers for her. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

She stared at my hand blankly before blinking and talking, "We... we... are wretch'd." Luna closed her eyes and slowly collapsed entirely to the floor.

It wasn't what I expected, but it was better than a coma or something. My heart continued to race for a minute before I managed to calm myself down. I took a breath and sat down next to her, putting my hand on her back as she lay despondent on the ground. "Yeah. We kind of are terrible." That had been wild. I had completely gone nuts, and it looked like she had as well.

She looked back at me with large wet eyes. She'd been crying, and I hadn’t noticed. "We meanteth us, not thee and I."

I felt bad, but I wasn’t going to concede, "I know what you meant. And I know what I meant. I was just as angry." I kept my hand on her back, slowly rubbing it. She was warm and I could feel her slow sobs.

"Hadst thee not ceased us, we would has't dispatch'd thee..." She wasn't looking at me.

"I've been there. It's okay." I tried to console her.

"T's not, 'Okay!'" She huffed unhappily, "T's deplorable. A life f'r a game. We are wretch'd." She sounded utterly defeated.

I wasn't sure what to do. She wouldn't turn to me, but made no move to leave me either. "Hey, really." I pet down the length of her neck, attempting to calm her. "It's okay. I was out of my mind too." It was true. I wasn’t exactly sane in that moment.

We stayed like that for a while, her pouting on the floor with me petting her slowly. Eventually she spoke. "We thank thee."

"No biggie. Us pricks gotta stick together." I smiled down at her.

She snorted at that and then spoke again, "Perhaps... not." Her voice was thoughtful, "I should go."

I stayed quiet, processing what she had said. I was actually just getting used to her being here. I'd forgotten about the tournament, and instead all of my immediate plans revolved around her. Suddenly, the thought of a week alone in my room was no longer enticing. It felt weirdly empty. The game just wouldn't be fun without her insults and hectic play style. It was nice watching her go through my favorite games, watching her experience them.

For the first time in years, I was not excited about being alone.

Her confidence grew as she spoke, her mind decided, "Yes. I shall. I am dangerous to you, and have wrought havoc on your lifestyle. I am sorry for the trouble I have caused. I will take my leave." She stood up and wrapped her wing around me in a quick hug.

I thought quickly. I didn't want her to go. "Wait!"

She ignored me, "I'm thankful for your hospitality." She stepped back and bowed briefly as I stood up. Her horn began to glow when she straightened out of her bow.

This was all happening too quickly, I needed more time. "You still owe me a boon!" It was all I could think of.

The glow died from her horn and she frowned. "You... are correct." She thought for a moment while my mind raced, "I had intended for it to be a small favor, but given the circumstances, you may ask for anything. If it is in my power, you shall have it.

I wasn't expecting quite that. I was just trying to buy some time. As I thought, a trickle of red dripped from the scratch on her face. I could ask for anything and she'd give it. All my fantasies from this morning could come true. She'd no doubt give me a blow job, or let me touch her. I was sure that even her pussy wouldn't be off limits.

She sniffed a bit, blinking the moisture out of her eyes. The blood was staining a line down her cheek. I realized that I'd hurt her. I'd already hurt her body and her pride. I couldn't do that to her again. Not right now. I might be able to go through with it later, but now there wasn't going to be a later. This was it.

For once, she stood with the poise and grace of a leader. As she waited, she looked all the goddess or princess that she claimed to be.

I knew what I wanted from her. I smirked at her when I figured it out.

"I want you...” I paused for effect, “to stay."

She frowned and tilted her head slightly. "You wish for me to stay?"

"Yes." I nodded in affirmation.

She grew increasingly confused as she clarified, "I offer you all the power of a goddess, of the primal force of darkness” Her eyes furrowed in incomprehension, “and instead you want my company?"

"Yeah.." I blushed. When she put it that way, it sounded kind of silly.

She just stared at me in disbelief, "You... want nothing else?"

That was a loaded question. I wasn’t going to answer that straight up. "Well, maybe I want more. But more than anything else, I just want you to stay."

She glared at me then, slightly angry, “It would be grossly irresponsible. I may bring serious harm.”

I held my ground, “You told me anything that was in your power. Staying is in your power, responsible or not.”

She drooped her head and her wings, "We shall both regret this."

I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her neck, hugging her. She gently wrapped her wings around me. “I won’t.” She began to sniffle.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it was nice to hug her.

"So... If I am to stay, then what now?" We awkwardly stood next to each other, letting the moment pass.

"Well, let's clean up. Then we should probably take a break from Smash Brothers for the day."

"That may be wise."

Luna showered after we cleaned the room up, and I went shopping. I needed more pancake batter and syrup. While I was at the store, I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened.

Were Luna and I friends now? Should I keep up with my plan? I’d wasted my “boon.” If she hadn’t freaked out, I could have ridden her like a real horse. I supposed that would have been a waste anyways. I knew should have been focusing on getting inside her instead of on top of her, but the thought had been funny.

If anything, I found her more alluring after her breakdown. She was less mysterious, and more intimate. We shared something that I could understand; rage. I knew how she felt, I knew she would have killed me. The only difference between us had been that she had the power to kill me, and I’d only had a pillow. I’d gotten lucky with an exploding pillow, but had it been a sword I’d have acted the same. When I got angry like that I wasn’t very rational, and I had made mistakes before.

I don’t like thinking about it, it makes me feel a little queasy. Everybody likes to think they’re a good person. Everybody thinks they’re the hero. But I knew that I was not a hero. I was a bad guy. I’d hurt people before. And once, I did more than hurt somebody. Back when I was eleven, I had a friend for a while. I wasn’t allowed to see him after I put him in the hospital. At the time I’d blamed him for being stupid, but as I got older I’d realized the truth.

He never came back from the hospital. I’d thrown him onto the concrete and punched his head over and over, infuriated at him. When I came to and called my dad, there was blood all over me and my clothes. I needed to focus on buying milk, so I tried not to think about it, but couldn’t stop. I could see his face, broken and oozing blood and dark stuff here and there.

That year they pulled me from school. The next year, we moved to Canada. Everything got worse then. My anger, hiding in my room, my sister’s attitude issues, Dads affair, Mom’s pool boy, my family falling apart. My hell. Before that moment, I hadn’t realized how bad it had been, but my eyes were opened. Luna had asked me if my parents leaving for months at a time when I was 17 was criminal. No, it probably wasn’t. But when I was twelve I’m sure it had been. I’d never realized it before, but it was all starting to come together.

My family wasn’t trying to get away from each other, they were trying to get away from me. I was standing in the dairy isle, deciding on a bag of milk, and trying not to cry as I realized what my life had been. I’d killed a kid, and my family couldn’t look at me anymore. They didn’t love me. All the milk looked the same through my blurry eyes. I put the bag back and grabbed another one.

I was alone.

But I deserved it. I was a murderer. I’d known that. I was bad. I knew that, too. I didn’t go to jail because we were rich, and I was a kid. I held the milk tightly, causing the bag to bulge. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be hated anymore. I sniffled, trying to reign it in. I was about to be an official adult. Adults didn’t cry.

Luna cried, and she was an adult. I thought so at least. But I knew she was like me, angry. I’m sure she had a reason to cry. I only had fists when I got angry. She had magic powers. I swallowed my tears, realizing that she must have hurt people before, and probably just as bad as I had. Considering how old she was, probably lots of people.

It finally dawned on me just how dangerous she was. If she stuck around, I’d probably die the next time she lost control. I relaxed my grip on the milk bag. I’d die. The world felt brighter for a moment as I looked around the dairy isle, marveling at the sour cream. So what? Who cared if I died?

I didn’t. I was pretty sure everybody else would just be relieved. I smiled. It didn’t matter what milk I grabbed, just that it would work for her pancakes. And I couldn’t forget the syrup. I was going to make Luna happy for a while. Then I was going to make her mad. I remembered her hollow eyes, sharp teeth and the black miasma. I wondered if it would hurt when it happened.

Maybe before she killed me I’d get to fuck her.