Always Sunny in Fillydelphia: The Night-Mare Cometh

by Jabrony1996

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1170

The acting troupe tasked with telling the story of the rise and fall of Nightmare Moon, at the premier Summer Sun Celebration has fallen into disarray. The task is hijacked by Pinkie, for her own retelling of... The Night-Mare Cometh!

Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, having being told that the acting troupe, that was hired to act out the play of the legend of the mare in the moon at the premier summer sun celebration in Fillydelphia, has fallen into disarray a week before the deadline. As such the royal sisters decide to call upon the assistance of the Mane Six (M. Night Shyamalan plot twist there) to carry out the play in the troupes’ place. Naturally the mane six step up to the challenge, however Pinkie Pie incessantly demands that she be put in charge of script writing and directing, for some reason that she wants to keep as a “surprise”. Begrudgingly Twilight and the rest give in to Pinkies’ demands, despite knowing that this could only lead to disaster.

This story will contain elements of the Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episode: The Nightman Cometh, but it is not a novelization of it, following a different plot line with a different outcome.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-11 04:10:01 UTC

Never Easy

Twas a beautiful day in Canterlot: the birds in the castle gardens were achirping, the roads were abustling, and the sun was ashining, as it always is. However, within the confines of the Royal Throne Room of Canterlot Castle, the mood couldn’t be less indicative of such a day.

“What do you mean “In disarray” the acting troupe had 3 months to prepare! And now with a less than a week before the Summer Sun Celebration, you tell me that not even a script has been drafted!”

It was rare that Celestia resorted to utilizing the Royal Canterlot Voice, as few situations (beyond the occasional evening demand for cake, after a particularly long day) called for it, but not today… Today, Celestia was made privy to an account of such great incompetence that she briefly considered ending it all in a brief but fiery supernova.

“The actors…” stuttered out a shaken and bedraggled hipster lookin’ stallion “they, they won’t listen to me. They even have refused to show up for practice together. There seems to be some kind of, ehh drama between our leading ladies. Something about a handsome stallion named Tom, uhhhhh your most greatest and noblest of majesties in all of the world. They’ve split the entire troupe in two, all of them have picked a side and refuse to work with one another.”

Celestia knew the director wasn’t to blame, the poor thing had sagging purple bags under his eyes, no doubt the result of a plethora of sleepless nights trying to fix this disaster. But still, no pony involved in this mess could be entirely without blame, and her benevolence has limits and an incessant need for venting. However, this audience has gone on long enough. Celestia let out a long resentful sigh, with a flare of her nostrils, knowing full well that she would once again, in all of her goddess wisdom, would have to prepare a plan to deal with the situation and save the day. It was, after all, her day.

“Mr Prancois” she began, returning to her normal, gentle lilting voice. “This is upsetting news to me, but beyond the lack of payment from the crown and the bad publicity your troupe will no doubt endure as a result, there is no charge that I can honestly place against your business” she said, somewhat to her chagrin. “You are free to leave.” the director’s entire body seemed to sigh in relief, “but” the single word caused the director to tense so quickly his testicles whiplashed, “a word of advice” Celestia continued, “for your business to function effectively, all of its workers need cohesion, so either resolve this spat among them, or quickly remove the source of the problem."

The pony didn’t reply with words, but instead nodded frantically in agreement before hastily stumbling out of the towering entrance way, as if he were wearing flippers on all of his hooves. Celestia would usually have allowed herself a chuckle or perhaps a cruel smirk at the pony’s expense, but the humour was lost on her, as a result of the difficult predicament that has fallen into her lap. She sighed once again, in resignation to her duties, wishing only that she could shirk them for a delicious and blithe night with her two long-time lovers: tea and cake.

The day had only gotten worse for Celestia with more demands for gold, more demands for guards, and one strange demand for more fourth wall breaking (what even is the fourth wall?). Needless to say, Celestia was exhausted, her complexion and stance bearing a stark resemblance to the foalish director pony from earlier. The burden of that issue weighed heavily on Celestias mind, with no more options coming to mind, aside from calling the whole Summer Sun Celebration off. They play was a centerpiece to the enter celebration, and without the formal party play to take place in Fillydelphia this year, the entire event would fall apart.

At this moment, a sense of calm came over Celestia, as she was gently nudged by the purple-blue muzzle of her beloved sister, whom she had failed to notice, in her tired delirium, had entered the throne room five minutes ago. “Sister, you look more tired than usual. Is something the matter.” Luna had a way of speaking, even in a concerned manner, with authoritative tone rarely found in a younger sibling. Celestia collapsed into her sister in an awkward embrace. “Always so much to do, and so little time” Celestia murmured tiredly, “the acting troupe for the Summer Sun Celebration play is in a ridiculous state of affairs. It is likely we won’t have a play, and perhaps no celebration. Luna seemed to perk up at this, she was obviously never going to be much of a fan of a play that essentially portrayed herself as a villain, but nor was Celestia for that matter. The only reason the play had become such an important aspect of the Summer Sun Celebration was that it become somewhat of a tradition among her little ponies, which grew over the thousand years of Lunas banishment.

“Perhaps we could use this as an opportunity dear sister” Luna began with trepidation, “the beginning of the end of phasing out the play from tradition.”

“I wish were so” Celestia replied, “but aside from the raising of the sun the plays are a main part of the celebration, no matter the feelings it creates between us my sister, they are an important means of bringing communities together from across Equestria. Being rid of them can’t be an option, and without the play at the formal party we risk jeopardizing our favor among the Fillydelphia ponies, seeing it us giving more precedence to the other host cities of the formal celebrations in the past.”

Celestia sighed in defeat, seeing the entire disaster now laid out before her. Luna couldn’t help but feel a sting at her sister rescinding her suggestion, despite her well valued reasons behind it, such things had often revived old animosity between the two royal sisters. This time however, Luna only saw her tired older sister in need of help, and a nap. The sun had now set and now Celestias problems were hers to fix. At this moment an idea sprung to Luna’s mind.

“you do realize sister” Luna stated curtly, “that you have a beloved student that would do most anything to please you. Moreover, we do have a tendency of handing some of our more difficult tasks to her, in fact we generally provide her with most of them.”

A smile gradually crept back onto Celestias lips, how could she have been so foalish to forget her most faithful of students.

“Shall I fetch the parchment?” asked Luna with a smug look on her face.

Celestia blushed in embarrassment, replying only with a knowing smile and a curt nod towards her teasing younger sister. Perhaps there will be time for cake after all.