P’’C
And the Princess of Friendship grasped Tirek and removed him from Equestria.[1]
[1] The way this is phrased, you’d think this is when I murdered Tirek. This would be incorrect. This is when I teleported both of us to the moon and accelerated the celestial bodies to build up the momentum required to murder him.
And then she descended from the sky in a bolt of fire.[2]
[2] Understatement of the millennium. I penetrated the atmosphere with him at a significant percentage of the speed of light, and he vaporized. I’d say before we hit the ground, but I hit it within 1/10 of a second of initial atmosphere impact so trace particles of him might have made landfall. I don’t know. I estimate I lost consciousness somewhere in the magnetosphere when the fission reactions picked up speed.
She then rested twelve moons and awoke.[3]
[3] I honestly didn’t expect to survive plummeting through the sky at a speed close enough to c that I risked violating the laws of physics. In fact, I didn’t plan on surviving murdering Tirek. I wasn’t sure I could live with that burden. I mean, who could live with the weight of knowingly snuffing the life of another living being? I was devastated when Princess Luna popped by six months into my coma and informed me I was still alive.
On the dawn of the first day of the thirteenth cycle, Princess Radiant Dawn was born to the Princess of Love.[4]
[4] This is part of why I didn’t want to live after murdering Tirek. I didn’t want to have to tell my descendants that I was a murderer. Who knows if he might have eventually reformed? I unfairly robbed him of that chance. The fact that I got off scot-free just because he was a threat to Equestria did little to ease my conscience.
And on the day the Princess of Friendship awoke, you shall light a candle to honor those who fell under Tirek.[5]
[5] The only one who died that day was Tirek, according to official records. Because I murdered him. At the time I thought he had left me no choice. He had taken all of Equestria’s magic and taken all of my friends hostage after my attempts to nonlethally subdue him had failed. The other Princesses had given me their power, and I snapped under the pressure. I sunk to his level and put him down like one of Fluttershy’s animals.
The candle was my idea to be able to openly grieve for losing a part of myself after murdering Tirek, to enable Equestria to cry with me. It was the only way I could retain my sanity and try to piece together my moral compass again after committing an unforgivable crime.
On that day you shall prepare a great feast for your family.[6]
[6] In my years of experience, food has excellent palliative properties. I know it always helps me get through tough times. Maybe that’s why Nightmare Night turned into what it is today. I know I don’t mind an excuse to drown the horrible pit in my stomach with enough cake to feed a small town.
That will be the day you remember Equestria lived.[7]
[7] When it comes down to brass tacks, I realize intellectually that I did the right thing. I dispatched the greatest threat the world had ever faced. Technically, I’m the most decorated hero that the world has ever known. I should be grateful for ensuring the planet’s survival.
I’m just of two minds about it. Did I really have to murder him? Was there another way? Perhaps whatever was in that box the Tree of Harmony produced may have helped, but we’ll never know now. I made my bed and have to lie in it.
In the end, perhaps Equestria’s safety and survival was worth sacrificing my personal values for half a second.
And this holiday continually serves as a personal reminder to always look for another way when faced with an impossible choice, to keep searching for the option that I won’t regret for the rest of my life. If I was able to go back in time and redo it, I wouldn’t have made the same decision. Then again, I can’t.
Twilight rested the pen next to her journal and sighed, tears trickling out of her eyes and matting her muzzle. She let herself sob for a few more minutes, then closed her journal and smiled.
I can check that off my list for this year. Now I have my niece’s birthday party to attend.
P’’C
The Princess of Friendship grasped Tirek and removed him from Equestria.[1]
[1] I can just imagine the level of care that was put into constructing this sentence. I have this picture of ‘Starshine’ or whoever wrote this racking their brain over how to convey that I killed Tirek without saying I killed Tirek. Because, in a sense, I did remove him from Equestria. Both technically and thoroughly by teleporting both of us outside of the atmosphere and then by sailing back through the atmosphere quickly enough so that his individual atoms fused with those of the air.*
*A side effect of which would prevent future attempts at necromancy. Can’t resurrect what doesn’t exist, right?
And then she descended from the sky in a bolt of fire.[2]
[2] Igniting fusion reactions by going 100 km in 1/10 of a second tends to do that.
I don’t know what it was, whether traveling at near-luminal speeds does this or I was convinced that I was going to die as well, but time seemed to slow down immensely. I experienced this assault of sensory data―the intense heat attempting to scorch my skin, the stench of ozone inflaming my nostrils. Most importantly I saw the expression of regret on Tirek’s face as his body dissolved and its individual elements fused with the sky. Then I lost consciousness and plummeted to the earth.*
*That’s how the San Palomino Canyon was made, which was eventually repurposed into the Los Pegasus Reservoir through a desalination project I spearheaded.
She then rested twelve moons and awoke. On the dawn of the first day of the thirteenth cycle, Princess Radiant Dawn was born to the Princess of Love.[3]
[3] I quoted these two sentences together to remind myself that the only reason my niece has such a beautiful name is because I woke up.
I didn’t intend on surviving the murder of Tirek. Prevailing theories on my survival posit that I reflexively molded a sort of ‘shock absorber’ upon passing out. If you had asked me upon regaining consciousness, I would have told you it was because Fate knew I needed to pay penance for the unforgivable crime I had committed. When I woke up, I felt like I had been stabbed with an ephemeral corkscrew through my gut and couldn’t stop crying for a month. I didn’t want to be alive. I wasn’t supposed to be alive. I didn’t want to have to tell the ponies of Equestria that I had used the power bestowed upon me to strike someone from history, even if they were an existential threat to them and their way of life. I wasn’t that kind of pony.*
*Apparently I was, for one brief moment that ensured the planet’s survival.
And on the day the Princess of Friendship awoke, you shall light a candle to honor those who fell.[4]
[4] When I suggested this to Princess Celestia, it was after the death of Applejack, the final Element Bearer. She acquiesced, initially worried I might be taking the death of my friends a little too personally until I reminded her that everypony has had someone important to them lost to the ravages of time.
What I didn’t tell her at first is that I suggested it so that I could mourn Tirek’s death openly. Everypony dies, eventually―my parents, my brother, and my friends being examples―but I didn’t murder any of them. I felt that with the loss of my closest friends, those whom I felt most comfortable unloading my greatest fears and regrets upon, that instituting a general day of mourning would be the most efficient use of everyone’s time.*
*I also didn’t think Cadance wanted to hear the same sob story until the end of days, either.
On that day you shall prepare a great feast for your family.[5]
[5] Honestly, this bit was just an excuse to stuff my face with hayburgers without anypony bothering me about it. You’d be surprised how much you can eat when the death of a sapient being weighs over your head.*
*Also, I really like hayburgers.
That will be the day you remember Equestria lived.[6]
[6] Yes, Equestria lived, and ponykind knew war no more. Through one last act of tragedy, I had shocked the world into submission. Queen Chrysalis and her changeling horde swore fealty, afraid I might come after them next. The Equality revolution was halted in its tracks. Starswirl the Bearded ripped a hole through time and space to personally thank me, having felt the reverberations through a thousand years. Apparently, my attempted sacrifice to save Equestria defined history, both before and after.
And I’d take it all back if given the chance.
I’ve come to terms with the incredible good murdering Tirek has bestowed upon us as a planet, and I’m infinitely afraid of what might change if I figured out a way to change it. But Starswirl informed me in his visit that history has certain ‘freeze’ points―things that can never change, and that every force known and unknown to ponykind will fight to preserve them. Tirek dying was one of those points.
And that hurts the most of all. So I’m only left with one option:
Tirek, I cannot express the immense amount of remorse I feel for taking your life. My execution of you has left a stain on my being that I can never wash away. If I had seen another option, I would have gladly taken it. The only penance I can offer you is that I live my life to the best of my abilities.*
*I can’t change the past, but I can use the present to improve the future.
Twilight Sparkle wiped the tears from her eyes, closed her journal, and smiled.
That should be enough introspection for this year. My niece’s birthday party is later today and I wouldn’t miss that for anything.
