Derpy Days

Derpy flew into Cloudsdale with her usual mail. She had delivered all of Ponyville's mail but was sure she'd given Twilight Sparkle Spike's mail.

" Hey Derp Eye!" A familiar voice came from behind her.

Derpy froze mid-air.

No Derpy, continue with the mail. Don't stop for those bullies.

A tear came into Derpy's wonky eye.

Derpy, it's alright. Go back and hand all the mail to the right houses.

" Oh look! Derp Eye's lost her nerve!" Another familiar voice shouted.

A tornado of laughter rang through Derpy's ears.

" She's crying! Derp Eye's not so tough after all! She should never deliver mail when she always gives my the wrong one!" A third voice cackled in laughter.

Derpy, they're just bullies. You're giving them what they desire. Pull yourself together.

Derpy rummaged in her bag and pulled out a muffin.

" Eeew! She keeps a muffin in the same bag as all her letters!" Another voice, this time a female, called out.

Derpy blushed.

" Derp Eye has red cheeks! She's seen her long lost lover!" The first voice yelled.

Derpy, they can't provoke you with this one. You're already married!

" Hey!" Derpy turned to face all four bullies. " I'm already married!"

" Derp Eye has got married to her love in Flight School! What was his name... Cotton Balls!" The second voice bit his lip to stop himself chortling in laughter,

" I did not!" Derpy turned away as her cheeks went redder.

Get out of here now, give the mail back to the station, let somepony else do it, and rest at home with your family.

Derpy bit into her muffin and started flying away.

" Derp Eye loves muffins. And we have plenty here." The female voice pulled out a bag, catching Derpy's attention. " Come on Derp Eye, it's free."

Derp flew towards the bullies again and landed beside the female.

" When I say free, I mean you have to do a trade first, okay?" The female pulled her bag out of Derpy's reach and smiled.

" What kind of trade?" Derpy frantically tried to grab at the muffins, but the stallions pulling her wings down were too strong for her to get free of their grasp.

" It's quite simple. All you have to do is promise to leave Ponyville, forever!" The female bent down and stroked Derpy's muzzle. " You'll be free of mail duty, and well deliver you a box of muffins every day."

Derpy paused. " Will you also stop calling me Derp Eye?"

" We'll see. So, do you want the muffins or not?" The other stallion put a hoof on Derpy's back.

" No." Derpy stood firm. " I don't want to leave my family."

The female withdrew from stroking Derpy's muzzle and gasped. " Well, I'll make sure I take all the muffins from the store and every time I see you, torment you about your flaws and the fact that you don't belong anywhere."

This brought Derpy to breaking point.

" Because you don't belong anywhere," the female continued. " The fact that you don't belong anywhere is quite true. The only place that you belong, is in hell."

Derpy felt the stallions grasp on her wings tighten as she tried to fly away.

" And you my friend, should go to hell forever to see how you-"

" I'll take it!" Derpy couldn't take it anymore. " I'll take the muffins and leave Ponyville forever, never to see another pony or creature again!"

" Good. We've already made you a house in the Everfree Forest." The female nodded her head. " So pack your bags and don't tell anypony, even your freak family, what has happened. Say that you need to leave to find a job and that they can't come with you. I'll see you tonight."

Derpy's wings were released and she flew into the sky and down into Ponyville.