Minstrel of Madness

by Tangisir_Sekeolath

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Thriller, Original Character, Tragedy, Horror, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3146

In these dark and grueling times, it's simply not enough to simply be alive. After all, it's not truly living unless one is smiling, no? Massacres will occur, fun shall be had, pleasures indulged in. All, just to see a smile even if it must be forced

So, you've come by to partake in the ever continuing party? To become or listen to a bringer of joy and spreader of smiles? Then please take a seat, mind those passing by as Itov 'V' Star proudly presents his wonderful mastery of tales and poetry. You may even get a song out of it...assuming of course you remain smiling. After all, in these dark and gruesome times, who couldn't use a smile? Sure, some will tell you that smiling doesn't win wars, but that's where they're wrong! The proof for this claim? Why, simply watch how the spreading of joy ends the resistance these ponies give before the Laughing Mare's will.

/Disclaimer/ I do not own anything beyond my own created character, and those I name amongst my story who have no other creator. All OCs and or actual characters from the show, though distorted, belong to their rightful owners. The idea of Equestria Divided belongs to an artist on DA who's sadly closed his account, PoorYorickDA.

Finally, one last note. This is my first story ever. Please, please....completely tear it apart in the comments. I want to know every little issue with it, simply to better myself as a writer. Though please, at least don't simply say you hate something without explanation. Then nothing gets done.

Published 2016-06-08 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-08 04:00:01 UTC

Setting the Stage

"For some, the division of Equestria, or the Schism, was a way to push their own agenda. For some, it was a chance to start over or simply time for a new leader to step up to the throne without change. In truth, it doesn't matter who's right in the end for their ideas, simply matters how you live. Spilling blood, slave labor, forcing ideas and agaendas on others? Simply unforgivable. So, what is the answer to fix these issues?

"Why, it's simple, truly simple. The Cult of Laughter. No political reforms, no forcing ideas upon others. Simply a land full of smiles and laughs, a land of pleasure despite the pleasures being dark or not. After all, nothing truly kills a party like someone attempting to ruin the fun. So long as one smiles in the end, they've won. Sure, it's your blood everywhere and your body losing warmth, but your world was full of joy and you could still smile in the end."

Taken from the scroll of a mad stallion, Itov 'V' Star

It was a rather average day in Equestria since the Divide. The Houses for the most part kept up their fighting and subtle spying. Be it a skirmish between Earthborne and Moon and Stars, or House Whitegold attempting to sneak a pony into House Moon and Stars, or whatever their target was beyond simply being a massive cycle that never ceases. Lie, blackmail, extort, profit and avoid open combat to keep their reputation rather high. Can't have rogues telling tales of House Whitegold forces robbing caravans they've been paid to protect to supply a failing city. Nothing more then snakes in the grass truly. As for House Everfree and Stormwing, probably busy fighting over natural weather from the forest and artificial pegasi controlled weather. Heh, such foolish reasons to fight.

Though outside of those facts, it was a rather good day to be out and about. Warm and bright, clouds barely covering the sun and there was a slight breeze. Enough to casually move the manes of those who were simply enjoying the sights or maybe curled up somewhere, trying to suppress the sad truth that life since the Schism has been rather....depressing to say the least. There were even a few foals playing, simply enjoying the simplistic joys of being a child. Ranging from games of tag to maybe mock fighting for the rougher of foals. It was enough to actually bring a few of the sadder guards to a small smile, thinking back to simpler times when the Princesses ruled the land, maybe back when they had a sweetheart or that lovely innocence associated with childhood. Even those who were out and about, roving the roads and paths between every city on the ground, along the sea and possibly even below the ground, secrets plans being planned out, things were at least good or enjoyable.

For the recovering town of Trotsdale, a mostly Earth pony town bordering the Earthborn lands, things were slightly worse. Being small and barely able to support itself, it was merely a matter of time before it started to look for aid or died out. It's only resource would be ponies for soldiers, nothing more. Luckily it wasn't a part of Earthborn, so they could receive aid from anywhere, whilst still serving no real strategic use. Well, unless you're the Tribes of the Everfree or the Cult. Forest off to either side, a small farm at the entrance to the town, and a rather pitiful excuse of a fence to stave off whatever land based beast comes from the forest.

Be it a blessing or curse, something was coming to brighten up their day. A traveling bard if one were to ask him, yet surely that wasn't the truth. Maybe it was the overly bright teal eyes he had, that odd sly smile, as if he was in on some joke nopony else knew. Might even be his offer of cheering up the ponies of this town via his craft. Stories and poems, maybe even a bit of music, depending on if he could get a bit of good Earth pony cider. Not often a Unicorn could get a hold of genuine Earth pony cider nowadays. Once these requirements were met, the odd plum purple Unicorn stood out from all the town folk for many reasons.

Outside of the obvious he was a plum purple Unicorn with extremely bright teal eyes, his attire was rather unique, at least when compared to those around him. Where the simple folk of Trotsdale wore nothing or plain brown cloaks to help cover them up in case they wished to be rather warm, he wore a set of robes with what seemed to be rolled up scrolls attached to it, and it seemed to be lined with crimson silk, a rather stylish combination with the navy blue exterior of the robes. Some may wonder who he was to have such an outfit, others would care more what this stranger had to say.

"Ahem!" The stranger finally spoke, smiling kindly as he looked through the crowd. "I'm here for a simple reason my dear ponies, I simply can't stand to see such unwarranted sadness. As such I'm her-"

"Oi, what makes you think you can call our sadness unwarranted? We're running out of food, the beasts of the forest are trying to tear our humble village apart, and you're here calling our sadness unwarranted? Screw you!" An off colored blue stallion with a darker blue mane spoke up, seemingly pissed with the stranger and his seemingly condescending tone.

"Well, maybe if you'd let me finish," His voice went from bright and cheery to annoyed and a slightly dark tone. "You'd know. I, Itov Star, am here to share with you folk a few stories and poems. I'd even offer a few songs I've learnt whilst serving as a traveling bard, but your little outburst has definitely soured the mood for me." Itov looked throughout the crowd, noting the hopeful looks he received. Seemed this town has lived without joy for quite some time, something that absolutely must be changed!

"Now, how about a little poem to start us off my dear fellows? Bit of a warm up for me, and you'll be one of the first groups I've ever spoke this to." He smiled brightly, reassuring some whilst worrying others It's never really good when a stranger spoke as if he was close or cared about a group of strangers, especially during these trying times. "Come, now all who wish to listen, lend me your ear. I'll not repeat myself whilst presenting my work, so please," He held his hoof up to his muzzle. Some sort of sign to quiet down. "Be quiet and listen to my words."

Now, some have asked me my secret
On how I manage to keep my smile
To which I always laugh and tell them they've over thought it
I have no secret for a smile that can last a mile!
I merely have a small bit of advice
Find joy in everything you do
Every sin, every screw up, every vice
So long as it brings a smile to you!
After all, who doesn't miss those days of old
Where smiles were warm and bodies weren't cold?

Throughout the years, the definition of joy has changed.
Be it for living another day, achieving a goal, or simply having everything arranged.
In such maddening times, who can truly be called deranged?
The Unicorn supremacists and their slave armies?
The greedy group of liars and traitors and how they appear to be so charmy?
Maybe it's the war machine upon your borders
Who's ideology towards other races bring much disorder.
Maybe the noble guides of the sky
Have some dark secret to hide?
The rule of nature and all it has created
With a few simple rules such as how all things in the end are related?
Maybe the mysterious Cult of Laughter
Whose passing tends to always end in disaster?
In the end do these things truly matter
When any day it may be your blood that shall splatter
All across your land, spilt on nothing more than a command.

I say to you, my dear fellow
At the end of the day who's ideology will you bellow?
Shall you call for magic to be erased
Or will those claims with lies be laced?
Do your eyes lay amongst the stars
Shall you protect such beauty from being marred?
Will you search for joy amongst sorrow
Or will you fight on with honor and pure power?
No matter the choice, I'll inform you of my choice through your ear that I've borrowed
For that is simply how my thoughts flower.

At the end of the day, it matters not what you choose
So long as you can find something to smile about, with or without booze
For in the end, joy is the true gift
With which your spirits I'll try to uplift
For I'm a spreader of pleasure
And every smile brings me joy without measure

Itov smiled shyly, taking a small bow. His horn glowing softly as he removed a scroll from his robes, opening it with a small smile. "I call that little piece, Poem of Joy, yes yes, I know. So uncreative, yet it gets the point across, no?"

"No, it don't. I'm a bit confused!" Remarked what seemed to be a young, yellowish Earth pony, probably a teen wearing some odd hat. A stetson, or whatever most folk tended to call them nowadays.

"Ey pardner, Appaloosa's that a way." Itov flicked his head, horn pointing behind him as a few chuckles rippled across the small crowd of about twenty ponies, mostly Earth ponies, though it seemed a small Unicorn filly had wormed her way into the group. "Well, my fellows. I take it you enjoyed it a bit, else you'd probably have left by now!" He grinned, showing off his teeth as he looked around. His horn glowed a soft teal as he reattached his scroll, chuckling softly.

Things seemed to be going smoothly for this Minstrel. Free cider for a few poems and stories not to mention easing the small group for what was to come.

"So, any recommendations for a story my dear audience?" Itov called out, messing with his robes before looking up into the sky. It seemed to be roughly evening. The sky was darkening to a rather nice orange with hints of blue poking out. Sunset was coming, and with that night time. The perfect time to stroke.

"How about you make up story mister?" The Unicorn filly spoke up, smiling at Itov with wide eyes.

"Hmm...make up a story? I could try and give that an attempt I guess for you good folk." Itov smiled, looking down at the cute little pink unicorn filly. "Mind if I ask your name dear? I'd love to know for whom I make this story for."

"Strawberry Burst!" Strawberry squeaked, proudly smiling as if she did something impressive. It's somewhat odd how foals always made themselves proud over the silliest things.

"Well Strawberry, I'll make up a story for you then." Itov chuckled softly, sitting down as he gestured for the crowd to come closer. By this point the crowd has grown by a few, one of which was Strawberry's mother.

"Long before the days of the Schism, before the wars fought by the Houses for their own agenda, times were peaceful. Ponies of all races and for the most part status, could laugh and play together. Festivities were common and smiles were all around. Back then, the leaders of the Houses, and one who sadly died around the time of the Schism, were all friends. The best of friends. Yet this story focuses not on them, but another pony, Punch Line.

"Punch Line was your average, run of the mill Pegasus. She had a blonde mane and matching tail, just barely reaching her back and stopping above her knees. Her coat was a dark forest green and her eyes were a lovely royal purple. As one could probably guess from her name, she was a bit of a joker. This is her cutie mark story." Itov fidgeted slightly a bit nervous. By the Laughing Mare, he wasn't quite that creative on the spot, yet how could he refuse that little filly's request.

"It was a bright and sunny day in...Las Pegasus. The sun was shining bright and there wasn't a cloud in the sky to block it out or cover up the lovely blue shade of the sky. Though sadly on this day, the foals were a bit unable to completely enjoy the day, all thanks to school!

"On this day, Punch Line was in her class amongst the other twenty or thirty ponies in her class, learning from their teacher, Miss Flower. They were learning something about the founding of Equestria or something. Honestly she didn't know or very much care. Day in, day out, they did nothing but learn and the one time a day they go out to play in the playground. It wasn't enough and she had to find something to amuse herself with.

"Now, the one thing you should know about Miss Flower is that she wasn't a very humorous mare. Sure, she had her moments, everypony did. Yet she was a bit of a mood killer if you actually asked anyone. That simply wouldn't stand, not anymore. Punch Line made it her mission to see her giggle and laugh like a school filly!

"It started innocently enough, extremely innocent enough. A pun here or there. Sure, they weren't really good due to not being punctual with timing, but hey, they were jokes. Sadly, she didn't have anyone to really practice on, not even a cat. Honestly that's rather claw-ful, and I'll tail you, makes me a bit sad. Anyways, back to Punch Line.

"As Punch Line's puns got better, even though it wasn't quite a laugh, she saw Miss Flower actually smile occasionally. It's rather hard not to smile when a cute little filly is squeaking out puns involving your name or subjects you're teaching or talking about, it very well will warm your heart if you still have one. Everything from innocent questions asking Miss Flower why they haven't learnt about plants so she could squeak out that she hadn't bot-any, to a rather silly joke about how the moon could be used as an asylum for the luna-tics." Itov smiled, listening to the weak laughter he received from those few jokes. He decided to let the laughs settle down before he continued.

"Sadly, although it truly warmed the heart, it didn't actually help to make Miss Flower any more fun loving. So she moved on to more humor. Everything from the classic why the chicken crossed the road to knock knock jokes. Miss Flower's heart continued to warm up at this child's innocence and genuine attempts to bring joy to her life.

"Yet even that didn't work well enough to actually make her smile. So, Punch turned to physical humor and more personal jokes. Sarcastic remarks occasionally over a shy comment or wrong answer, and the occasional juggling act or bouncing upon a moving ball. She was becoming her own little jester, earning giggles and chuckles from her classmates as her antics ramped up.

"One day, she tried combining multiple acts. I'll tell you all something, nothing quite as amazing as a filly with wings spread open, bouncing on a ball juggling smaller balls wearing a Jester's cap. Beyond being rather ridiculous, it also was extremely impressive to see such grace!" Itov smiled, stopping to allow those with an imagination picture it. Those who actually could picture it were giggling and chuckling. Such joyous sounds to hear.

"Well, as those around you have demonstrated, such a sigh would make just about anypony laugh. Even that cold-hearted Miss Flower couldn't resist. She tried giggling a little to get it out, and that simply opened the floodgates. A giggle turned to a chuckle, a chuckle to full on laughter. Some say she laughed hard enough to bring tears to her eyes! Even though little Punch didn't notice due to her cheering and laughing for finally achieving her goal, she had gotten her cutie mark. A three belled Jester cap colored red and orange, with a smile beneath it. From that day on, Punch Line was a superb joker and some say she could make anyone smile, despite what she had to do and how long it would take. The End!" Itov beamed, looking up to note the lovely purplish color of the night sky, the moon merely a crescent. "Well, I believe that is all for the youngsters. I bid you a good night little Strawberry!" He said with a small smile, hearing Strawberry squeak as she was mentioned personally by him. That would probably give the filly something to talk about to her friends.

"So, Itov was it? I believe your price was a bit of cider, so how about we take this show to the local pub. You can have a drink, maybe we could sing a song or two together!" This time a cheery looking brown coated mare spoke to him, smiling kindly. "I'm Chocolate Harvest by the by, one of the few bar mares we have here!"

"That sounds absolutely delightful m'dear. Everypony, follow us to the pub, where I'll continue the show after a few drinks!" Itov exclaimed proudly amongst quite a few cheers, be it for some hard cider or his show, it didn't really matter.

Author's Note

So, you've read through my probably outstandingly, horrifyingly bad first attempt at both a story and chapter. Please leave all hate in the comments section, along with suggestions on how to better myself. I promise I'll try and fix it, whilst still retaining my own style and storyline. Except of course if it feels rushed, in which case I'll probably flesh it out a bit with a slower pacing. Anyways, hopefully I'll see y'all later in other chapters. Ill also continue this appaling atory until I'm satisfied with it. So if you force yourself to read it and have your own ideas on how to make it better, please do offer your opinion. I very well may edit or incorporate your ideas into the story.
Also, here's a bit of fair warning. I'll be showing you all why I've given this the tag of gore and why this story is mature in the next chapter. Here's a hint, I'll be putting the laughter in slaughter, the fun in funeral. You'll either end up with a smile for the vile, or feel ill towards all who can consume such swill.

Prepping the Actors (Part One)

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