Pinkie Piety

by Pickle

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2491

Religion in Ponyville...

Pinkie Pie changes religions.

Published 2012-06-20 09:24:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-20 09:24:03 UTC

The First Slice of Piety

*Knock knock knock*

Twilight trotted to the front door of the library to see who was there. Upon opening the wooden door, Twilight greeted, "Good morning Pinkie Pie. How are you today?" Twilight smiled at her friend, who was apparently staring at a note card she was holding instead of at Twilight. "Pinkie Pie?"

The earth pony heard twilight and looked up. "Oh, hey Twilight! Hold on a moment." Pinkie Pie went back to looking over the note card.

Twilight waited for her friend to finish reading the note card, still awkwardly holding her grin. In this time, Twilight also realized that her friend was sporting a small white bow in her hair and had a hoof band around each of her hooves. Along with that, Pinkie Pie was carrying a wagon full of tomes that looked larger than most books Twilight had ever read.

Pinkie Pie finally put down the card and cleared her throat. "Hello Mister or Miss," Pinkie Pie began, looking everywhere except at Twilight, obviously struggling to recite whatever was written on the note card. "My name is Sister Pie and I am only asking for a moment of your time to tell you about this nifty book that details how Equestria was made."

"Excuse me, Pinkie?" Twilight interjected, baffled by Pinkie Pie's statement.

"Hold on Twilight, I'm not finished!" Pinkie thought for a second. "Okay. This book will explain to you all the wonderful facts about life that you may not not know, like where the first ponies came from, why everything in the world happens and how you can live forever." As Pinkie ranted on, Twilight's eyes continued to widen larger and larger. "If you are not able to talk, then please allow me to leave a copy of this book with you, so that you may read it sometime. What do you say? Okay Twilight, now I'm done."

After hearing all these outrageous and seemingly impossible claims by Pinkie Pie, Twilight was nearly at a loss for words. Nearly.

"Pinkie Pie, what are you talking about?" The unicorn almost had trouble forming her sentences due to all the things she wanted to say to her friend, but was finding it hard to decide on what to say first. We already know all about how Equestria was made. I know books are great, but you really can't go around town lying like this."

"But I'm not lying about anything, Twilight! I am a Cakkur," Pinkie proudly announced.

"A what?"

"A Cakkur," Pinkie re-informed the confused unicorn.

"What in Celestia's name is a Cakkur?" Twilight questioned, expecting this whole scene to be some prank Pinkie Pie was pulling.

"Well it means I'm part of this cool group of ponies that go around door-to-door and talks to everypony about this cool group of ponies that go around door-to-door to talk to ponies. I figured that since I like talking to ponies, why not join? And their name sounds like cake! Cakkur. Cake. Cakkur. Cake..."

As Pinkie Pie continued to repeat those two words, a flurry of questions was racing through Twilight Sparkle's clustered mind. From the way Pinkie talked about this group, Twilight could tell that Pinkie herself knew very little about what she had joined. "Pinkie how did you became a Cakkur?"

"Well I was just manning the counter at Sugarcube Corner when this nice stallion walked in. He wanted a cupcake and a glass of water, but since I didn't recognize him, I threw him a small Pinkie Pie bash to welcome him into town. He was so grateful that he gave me this free book and told me all about the Cakkurs. He said I would get this bow and some hoof bands if I joined, so I couldn't say no," Pinkie Pie concluded, flaunting said snow white bow in Twilight's face.

"Pinkie Pie, would you mind giving me one of those books, and one of those hoof bands you have?"

"Hooray! The first pony I go to decides to join! I must be a natural at this whole Cakkur thingy," Pinkie gleefully cheered as she removed one of her hoof bands and gave it Twilight.

"I'm not so sure about joining this group Pinkie, but thank you anyway." Twilight levitated one of the hefty books from the wagon onto her desk inside the library. Twilight examined the hoof band.

There are words circling the band. 'The Gospel of the Worshipers of the Nonfictional Being Above.'

Twilight turned her attention back at Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, do you think you could try to find the colt who gave this stuff to you?"

"Of course I can," Pinkie exclaimed, excited to see her new friend again. "He said he was staying at the hotel near the Ponyville Day Spa."

"Great. I want you to bring him to the library tomorrow afternoon. Okay?"

"Okie dokie Loki!"

"Thank you Pinkie. Now if you don't mind, it seems I've got a full night of reading ahead of me."

As Twilight's magic glistened around the door, Pinkie Pie shouted, "No problemo!" The unicorn closed the door, and Pinkie Pie hopped off back to Sugarcube Corner.

Twilight sat in front of her reading desk, with the bulky tome waiting to reveal itself to the mare. "'The Book of Cakkur.' Forward title," Twilight mocked. Flipping the cover over to the first page, Twilight found a dictionary style definition for Cakkur.

Cakkur [keyk-awr]: noun One who believes in the existence of the one Supreme Being, who is the creator and ruler of the universe, that is not Princess Celestia.

"This book is a load of nonsense. There's no higher being that Princess Celestia!" Twilight stomped a forceful hoof on the table, already upset with the book. "Calm down Twilight. If this book is going to be feeding me information like this, then I need to keep a cool head."

Taking in a deep, relaxing breath, Twilight flipped to the next page and began reading the first section of the tome.

Cross 1:1

To be continued...

Have Your Piety...

As Twilight closed the massive collection of text, she let out a sigh of disbelief along with a weary, "Barley even made a dent," under her breath. The sleep deprived unicorn rubbed her heavy eyes, wiping away the hours of exhaustion. She glanced at a clock on the wall that read 1:13 P.M. A yawn concluded this series of motions before she finally rested her head upon the book.

Just a few minutes of sleep couldn't hurt. For that moment, that felt like the best magic twilight had ever done: turning a book into a pillow.

Sadly, Twilight's nap was interrupted by a familiar knocking on the library door.

"Spike! Door!" Twilight called out, just wanting those few extra seconds of rest even though she knew that they would not make her any less tired. That precious feeling of laying her head down was just too comfortable.

"I got it Twilight," Spike replied, jolting down the stairway the upstairs room. Obviously, Spike had been living with Twilight long enough to know that Twilight needed privacy when she was going into a reading frenzy, so the dragon had secluded himself upstairs to keep from disturbing the reader.

Spike opened the door and let in the same bubbly mare that had come to the library the previous day.

"Twilight! Twilight! Twilight!" Pinkie Pie shrilled as she bounced into the library and approached the unicorn that was trying to sleep at the desk. "I brought him just like you asked."

Yawning as she raised her head and lifted her eyelids, the student mumbled, "Who'd you bring?" Twilight knew in the back of her mind who Pinkie Pie was referring too, but the unicorn was still a little out of it due too the lack of rest.

The party pony quit jumping around, and looked at her friend. "Mark. The colt that told me about the Cakkurs."

"Oh right. Sorry Pinkie, I'm just a little tired." Twilight peered around the library, only finding Pinkie Pie and Spike. "Where is the colt Pinkie?"

"Out here, Miss," a voice called out from outside the library.

Twilight noticed where the unfamiliar voice was coming form, and forced herself to stand up and walk to the door.

"Why are you outside?" Twilight asked the colt.

"It's our practice to not enter somepony else's house before being invited in," the colt answered with a simple smile that seemed glued onto his mouth.

Is this pony a vampire or something? Twilight thought. No. Be polite Twilight. Plus, he doesn't seem to have any bad intentions.

"Well, please do come right in." Twilight motioned with a hoof for the colt to come inside. "My name is Twilight Sparkle," Twilight greeted as she walked beside the stallion towards her desk.

The stallion was an earth pony with white fur and a light blue mane. The stallion, who also attired the same white bow and hoof bands that pinkie Pie wore before, returned the greeting. "Good afternoon Miss Sparkle. My name is Mark. I have heard from my companion Sister Pie that you are interested with our faith?"

Put off slightly by Mark's titling of Pinkie Pie, the unicorn answered, "Um... yes, I had a few concerns about some of the claims made by your group."

"Please, Miss Sparkle--"

"You can just call me Twilight. No need to be so formal."

"Alright. Twilight, our group strongly discourages us from debating our beliefs with those who don't agree with them, but I would be happy to share with you my faith without any argument," Mark kindly offered, obviously used to this type of situation.

"Okay," Twilight accepted. "There are a few points that I would just like you to clear up for me then."

"Sure thing, as long as you promise not to argue against anything I may say."

Almost as an involuntary response, the unicorn was motioning and reciting, "Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye." As Twilight finished, poking her closed eye with a hoof, the colt stared at her in peculiarity.

"What was that, Twilight?"

Chuckling awkwardly, Twilight just replied, "Oh, uh, nothing." In the corner of her eye, Twilight could see Pinkie Pie and Spike giggling.

"Before we begin, may I at least ask why you're taking this much precaution?" Twilight questioned, a little disturbed by all of Mark's warnings. It felt as though Twilight was going to hear some deep dark secret of Equestria.

"The reason our Father has instructed us to make sure no pony will argue with us is because our beliefs are very different from the norm, and many ponies feel the need to repeat the same arguments about our faith over and over and over again." A hint of annoyance squeezed through Mark's tone as he was speaking.

Twilight read clearly that most things she found absurd with their claims, other ponies had probably already brought them up.

"Okay. I've heard some thing from Pinkie Pie about the Cakkurs and I've read some of the book that you distribute, and the first question I have have is, how exactly do you believe Equestria was made?"

Mark's smile actually perked up slightly after hearing this query. "Ah, one of my favorite questions! Well, us Cakkurs believe that there is another supreme being, the Creator, that is above everything in this universe. Many millions of years ago, the Creator formed the Earth and the Moon and many other astronomical formations in the empty void that is now our universe. After that, he then created the first two ponies; A female pegasus named Ada, and a male earth pony named Even. I don't think I need to explain this part to you, but the two then reproduced and slowly formed the Equestrian population. Along with those two were two of all the many different species that inhabit this planet; griffon; zebra; even parasprite. Did that answer your question appropriately Twilight?"

Twilight just gazed at the colt with a stern face.

Can this colt be serious. There's so many flaws with his story! I can't argue though. Keep a cool head, Twilight.

Taking a calming breath, Twilight responded, "Yes it did, but it did leave me with another question."

"Yes?"

"If there is a 'supreme being' that watches over the whole world, then why would anything bad ever happen? Couldn't this being just stop it?"

"The Creator knows everything and everyone in the past, present and future, so The Creator understands there needs to be discord in this world for there to also be harmony," the stallion began. "We believe that the Creator watches over us, but keeps his duties in our everyday lives simply to listening to our prayers and making sure all the processes of life remain stable.'

"What do you mean by 'processes of life?'" Twilight questioned, confused by the broad description.

"Things like gravity to keep everypony from floating away or the turning of the Earth so that the sun will rise and set accordingly."

That last point made touched a huge nerve in Twilight's mind.

"There is no way that you can seriously believe in this 'Creator' when we clearly have Princess Celestia and Princess Luna that raise and set the sun and the moon!" Twilight yelled with a burst of passionate anger.

"Well I can tell that I've overstayed my welcome," Mark announced as he header for the library door.

The enraged unicorn felt too upset by the colt's claims to want him to stay.

"I hope you have a pleasant day Miss Sparkle, and may the Creator bless you one day with the truth." Mark had gently shut the library door as he left Twilight to cool down.

Upon hearing the front door close, Pinkie Pie galloped downstairs. "What happened? Where's Mark?"

Twilight, with her sight fixated on the door that he had left out of, murmured, "He left."

"Aw, Mark could have played a game with us," Pinkie sullenly said.

"What?" Twilight hadn't really been paying attention to what Pinkie Pie had said. Mark's absurd statements were still rumbling through her mind.

"Spike and I got bored with what you two were talking about, so we went upstairs to play a game. Do you want to play with us? You can be the thimble!"

As her friend excitedly danced around her, Twilight just put her head down on the tome once more. "No Pinkie. I'm going to take a nap."

Pinkie frowned at the unicorn's declination, but cheered up once Spike shouted, "Pinkie! I just passed 'GO'! You need to give me 200 bits!"

"'Night Twilight!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she sprinted back upstairs to continue her game with the young dragon.

None of what Mark said can be true... right? I know. I'll send a letter to Princess Celestia tomorrow. She'll be able to clear this whole mess up.

TO BE CONTINUED...