1. Sugarcube Corner, where the first one's always free
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1. Sugarcube Corner, where the first one's always free
“Five specially scrumptious snozzleberry scones!” Pinkie said, dropping a wicker basket with its contents wrapped in a white cloth napkin onto the lone dining table in Sugarcube Corner.
“It smells heavenly!” Rarity closed her eyes and raised her head to sniff at the waves of fresh-bread scent that the basket gave off. Rainbow Dash pounced for the basket as soon as Rarity left an opening, startling Fluttershy into ducking under the table. But Rainbow’s hooves landed on air.
“Every time, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said, shaking her head. The basket floated above the table, wrapped in an indigo glow.
“What? I’m just showing my appreciation!”
“Well, I would appreciate getting to at least look at our food before it’s smashed to crumbs,” Rarity said. “Thank you, Twilight.”
The cloth unfolded and one scone floated down to each of the four ponies. “You’re welcome,” Twilight said.
“And here’s a cupcake for Spike!” Pinkie said, dropping a cupcake onto the table in front of Twilight. It landed with a clunk. “Only two days old!”
“Aw, that’s so thoughtful, of you Pinkie! I’d completely forgotten about him again.”
“Don’t mention it!” Pinkie's eyes darted suspiciously around the otherwise empty room, then she leaned closer to Twilight and whispered, “It’s a health code violation.” She trotted back behind the counter and disappeared into the kitchen.
Then there was nothing but the sounds of chewing and smacking of lips for a time.
Twilight licked the crumbs that were all that remained of her scone from her lips. “I don’t know how I got along before Pinkie started baking at Sugarcube Corner,” Twilight said. “I can’t start my day until I have a scone or a cupcake here. Otherwise I just sit around thinking about them!”
“I know, right?” Dash said. “I just gotta have one every day. And I don’t even really like them!”
“Fluttershy, you’re only nibbling at yours,” Rarity said. “Is something wrong?”
“You eat like a bird, Fluttershy,” Dash said.
“Oh, no,” Fluttershy said. “Birds are very aggressive when they eat.”
“Well, then Rainbow Dash would make an excellent bird. But what’s bothering you, Flutter dear?”
Fluttershy set her nearly-untouched scone down. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
“Is it Zephyr, darling? Are you thinking you were too hard on him? Because you weren’t. That colt needed to get a job.”
Twilight nodded in agreement.
“That was awesome how you rode him about that,” Dash said. “You were peeved.”
“Rainbow!” Rarity said.
“And you don’t even have a job yourself!” Dash said. She began to laugh. Twilight and Rarity froze in shock.
Fluttershy’s ears drooped. “I… I don’t?”
Rarity reached out and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Why, Fluttershy dear. Your job is to look after all the darling little animals of Ponyville, tuck them in bed at night, take care of them when they’re sick, that sort of thing. Everypony knows that.” She glared at Dash.
Twilight quickly nodded in agreement.
“Well, sure,” Dash said, “but they don’t pay you for it.”
“Oh!” Fluttershy said. “Oh. I see what you mean. I suppose you’re wondering where I get my money, then.” She pushed her scone away and frowned. “It is sort of a mystery, isn’t it?”
“No mystery,” Dash said. “Obviously—”
Rarity kicked Dash under the table, without so much as a chip in her own Manehattan smile.
The ponies at the table all looked at each other uneasily for several seconds. Finally Twilight spoke up: “Well, you’ve still got money saved up from when you worked at the weather factory, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“Great! Problem solved. So, what do you think of these snozzleberry scones?”
“There is no such thing as a snozzleberry,” Rarity declared.
“Is too!” Dash said. “We used to have snozzleberry soda in Cloudsdale!”
“—but… I had about a hundred bits when I moved here from Cloudsdale four years ago—”
“It’s a fictitious flavor for foals,” Rarity said to Dash. “Like ‘blue moon’.”
“—and I spend at least thirty bits a month on feed—”
“That’s the miracle of compound interest!” Twilight told Fluttershy, her smile expanding to a width that looked painful.
“Doesn’t the money have to be in a bank for that?” Fluttershy asked.
“Wait a minute,” Rainbow said, with a puzzled look on her face.
“And I paid you seventy bits for my Gala dress,” Fluttershy said to Rarity.
“Oh, dear, would you look at the time?” Rarity said, getting up and horn-grabbing her half-eaten scone. “I’ve so much to do today. Orders coming in, orders going out, you know how it is. Ta-ta!” She hurried towards the front door.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Rainbow said.
“And I really shouldn’t leave Spike alone for so long; he’ll start trying to play with the neighbors’ children again,” Twilight said, concluding with an embarrassed grin and following Rarity.
The bell on the front door rang as Rarity and Twilight went out. Fluttershy watched them leave, then turned to Rainbow Dash. “It doesn’t make sense, does it?”
“Heck, no!” Rainbow said. “Blue moon isn’t real? What does that even mean?” She rested her chin on her hoof in a pose of profound contemplation.
“Um… I think it means the flavor isn’t extracted from a single naturally-occurring plant. It could be a mix of several natural flavors, or the result of magic, or… you aren’t really listening to me, are you? I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I probably wouldn’t listen to me either. I’ll go see if Pinkie’s busy.” She picked up the remainder of her scone in her mouth and slunk off towards the kitchen.
Rainbow thunked her hoof onto the tabletop and stared down at it. “My life is a lie.”
Fluttershy found Pinkie in the kitchen, watching four sharp-eyed ferrets carry a large, rectangular burlap sack up the back steps.
“Thank you for the scones, Pinkie. They were delicious as always.”
“That’s because they’re made with love! And other things,” Pinkie said. “Over in that corner, guys, next to the flour.”
The ferrets grunted and threw the sack against the wall, where it landed with a heavy thump and then slumped like a tired old mare. Pinkie tore a small opening in one corner of the sack with a knife, then touched the tip of one hoof into the hole. The ferrets watched. Her hoof came out with a thin dusting of white powder. She sniffed it, licked it, and then raised it to her nose and snorted it, eyeing the ferrets all along. Then she smiled and raised one hoof up approvingly, and they grinned.
“That looks just like the bags that my duck feed comes in,” Fluttershy said.
“That’s the idea!” Pinkie said, and winked. She leaned towards Fluttershy with a big grin. “You know what this means I get to do tonight?”
“Um, no.”
“PRODUCT TESTING!” Pinkie shouted, leaping up and spreading her forelegs wide. “Wanna join me?”
“Oh. Um. That sounds like fun, but no."
"What was Dash asking you about that made everypony stop talking?" Pinkie asked.
"She wanted to know where I get my money. I don't really know. I guess that's kind of funny. Do you think it's funny, Pinkie?”
“I don’t know! Let me see.” Pinkie threw her head back and laughed and laughed until tears came from her eyes. The ferrets stared at her, unsmiling. Then she dropped her head forward again, wiped the tears from her eyes, and rolled her eyes from one corner of her face to another like a master chef tasting a new sauce.
“No,” she finally said, “not funny. Comedy isn’t your forte, Fluttershy.”
“But do you think it’s odd?”
“Odd? I don’t see why. Excuse me a second!” She hopped over to the waiting ferrets. Then she reached into her mane and pulled out a pot whose contents clinked and jingled as she set it down in front of them. “See you next week!” she told them. Then the bell rang, telling them all that somepony had just entered the store. “Bye, Fluttershy!” Pinkie said, and hurried back out to the storefront.
“Bye, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said. She walked over to the ferrets and scratched each one under the chin. “Aren’t you adorable? Yes, you are. Such good ferrets. I have something for each of you.” She pulled a hooffull of dog biscuits out of her purse and threw one to each ferret. The ferrets gulped them down, then gathered around Fluttershy, sniffing at her purse.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she said. She pointed her nose at the pot they’d left sitting on the floor. They scurried back to it and, between the four of them, hoisted it up. They looked at Fluttershy again.
“No more treats now,” she said. “Go on home.”
The ferrets frowned, then headed down the back stairs with the pot.
Pinkie’s voice could be heard in the front of the store, saying, “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, where the first one’s always free!”
When she got home, Fluttershy went back into her bedroom. One corner was dominated by a cast-iron stove, the kind for heating rooms that you'd usually find in colder climates. It was dusty but otherwise looked new.
She turned the safety latch and pulled the heavy iron door open. Inside, light glittered off rows and rows of stacked golden bits. She had reached in and touched the nearest pile, and was letting her hoof rest lightly on it, when there was a knock on her door. She shut the stove door and hurried out to the front room.
“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy said, finding her friend on her doorstep.
“Hi, Fluttershy! Is Angel here?”
“I think so.” She called up the stairway. “Angel! Rainbow Dash is here to see you again!”
She turned back to Rainbow. “I heard you’re going away next week for another big competition. The Wonderbolts have really been on a winning streak ever since you joined them, haven’t they?”
“Sure. What else did you expect?”
“Even the races where you don’t compete.”
“I’m motivational,” Rainbow said. “They just had to learn to go the extra mile. Get every edge they can. Hey, here comes the little guy now.”
Angel peered down from the top of the stairs. He chittered down at Fluttershy.
“Angel says, if you have his, um, stuff, he has your stuff. Are you… trading something?”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course I’ve got his sports cards. I wouldn’t come without the sports cards he asked for. By the way, we’re going to have seven ponies competing next week. Seven,” Rainbow said, looking up at Angel. He looked over at Fluttershy. “Does he understand seven?”
“Angel?” Fluttershy asked. The rabbit chittered rapidly at her.
“Um, Angel says that you should have told him that sooner.”
“Oh, no,” Rainbow said. “No. Tell that little furball I get what I need, or I’ll take my sports cards and go home.”
“Angel?” Fluttershy asked, and Angel chittered again. “Oh, that’s not very nice, Angel. And she’s come all this way to see you.” She turned to Rainbow. “I’m afraid Angel says he doesn’t want to play with you anymore.”
“Wait, no, I’m sorry!” Dash said. “I’ll just trade for… whatever cards he has! It’s okay!”
“Did you hear that, Angel?” Fluttershy called up the stairs. “Rainbow’s sorry and wants to be friends. Now be nice.”
The rabbit wrinkled his nose, turned around, and hopped back into the upstairs bedroom.
“Go on up,” Fluttershy said. “He’ll be fine.”
Rainbow had barely closed the upstairs bedroom door behind him when there was another knock at the front door.
“Oh, hello, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “Come in. Would you like some tea? I was just about to make some.”
“Darling! Wonderful to see you. You look lovely. Really, we should see each other more often. Is Angel here?”
“Why, yes. Angel is upstairs playing with Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “With Rainbow Dash? Really?”
“Yes. Would you like to join them?”
“No, no, that won’t be necessary. Only I wonder if you could give Angel a message for me. I’m going to have a little party for some gentleponies from Manehattan next week who are interested in helping me expand. You could call it a fundraiser. I thought Angel might help provide some… entertainment.”
“Of course, Rarity. But shouldn’t you ask Pinkie? She’s very good with parties.”
Rarity laughed. “Oh, well I don’t really mean a party party. More like a soirée. A salon, if you will.”
“If there’s going to be beer then I’m afraid I have to say no. Angel’s only four.”
“You’re thinking of a saloon, dear. Just pass the word along, will you? And ask him especially if Velvet Touch is available again.”
“Velvet Touch?” Fluttershy wrinkled her nose in confusion. “Is that a pony?”
“It’s a stage name, dear. Like Sunset Sparkle or… or Starlight Shimmer.”
“Those sound like perfectly ordinary names to me.”
“Fluttershy!” Rarity said. “Really. You’ve been spending too much time with that rabbit. Well, I must be going. Do pass that message along for me, will you? Au revoir!” She glanced once more towards the closed door at the top of the stairway, then hurried out.
Moments later, the upstairs door opened and Dash trotted down the stairs carrying a duffel bag in her teeth.
“Hello again, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said. “Would you like some tea?”
Rainbow set the bag down and spat out its handle. “Tea? Are you kidding? Save that stuff for the princesses. I gotta fly, Fluttershy.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy said, her ears drooping a little. She cocked her head and looked at Rainbow’s duffel bag.
“Oh, that? That’s for the… trading cards.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy said again.
Both ponies looked again at the enormous bag sitting on Fluttershy’s carpet.
“They’re life-sized,” Rainbow said.
Fluttershy’s next visitor was a small purple dragon.
“Spike!” she said. “Please come in. It’s nice to see Twilight’s let you out again.”
“Thanks, Fluttershy.” The little dragon came inside and shut the door behind himself. “I sure do wish I could spend more time here with you.”
Fluttershy laughed and nuzzled Spike with her nose. “Oh, you know how much I’d love that, Spike, but the answer is still no. Twilight is my friend! I can’t let you hide from her here.” She trotted to the back of the room and lay on her sofa. Angel Bunny immediately hopped up between her forehooves.
Fluttershy looked up at Spike and smiled, stroking Angel’s head absently with one hoof. “So what does Twilight want this time?”
“She’s going to see the Princess again soon. She’s supposed to assist her with some hocus-pocus and she’s worried her magic won’t be strong enough. You know how she gets.”
“Gee, I’d love to help, Spike, but don’t know how I can help.”
“Not you. Angel Bunny.”
“Angel?” Fluttershy stopped stroking the rabbit’s head and looked at him. “Angel doesn’t know any more about magic than I do!”
“But would you ask him?”
Fluttershy put her nose up close to the bunny’s. “Angel? Do you know how to help Twilight?”
The bunny’s ears flicked forward. He twitched his nose. Then he leaned forward and nibbled Fluttershy’s nose.
“Angel says he knows just what you mean,” Fluttershy said. “Tell Twilight he says it will cost fifteen bits.”
“Will he take carrots?”
“He says no.”
“You didn't even look at him!” Spike said.
“He used pheromones,” Fluttershy said. “Do you know what this is all about, Spike?”
“Naw, I’m just the messenger. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s not to ask Twilight questions.”
“Why? What happens if you do?”
Spike shuddered. “Answers.”
“Oh. I thought that was the point of asking questions.”
“Once I asked her why rainbows were those colors, and she spent the next two hours reading to me from Feynmare’s Lectures on Physics.”
“I’ve heard they’re very good,” Fluttershy said.
Spike made a face like he’d accidentally swallowed a bug. “From Twilight?”
“Um… yes, now that you mention it.”
“Yeah. Well, when she was finally done explaining rainbows, I said I just wanted to know why the ponies in the rainbow factory chose those colors. And then she was all ‘That’s what they want you to think!’ and ‘The truth is out there!’”
“Twilight is certainly passionate about physics.”
“Passionate? It’s like a disease! She has this book club with all these pale, nervous-looking unicorns. Once a month they come into the castle dragging their physics books behind them, lock all the doors, draw all the curtains, and sit in a dark room and whisper about gravity.”
“Gravity? What’s that?”
Spike shivered. “Something you should never, ever ask Twilight about.”
After Spike left carrying a small bag for Twilight, the cottage and the woods around it were once again quiet except for the rushing of the brook and the chirping of birds. It was almost evening when Applejack and three earth pony stallions pulled up to the door towing an empty wagon. Fluttershy went out to greet them.
“Hello, Applejack. How nice to see you. And you’ve brought friends!”
“What’s she doin’ here?” a burly ocher-colored stallion demanded of Applejack.
“It’s okay, Stinky!” Applejack said. “She’s a friend.” She unhitched herself from the wagon and stepped up to the door. “Howdy, Fluttershy!”
“I never thought I’d see you carrying a briefcase, Applejack. What’s that strange shiny material it’s made out of?”
“Oh, this?” Applejack said, nosing the black leather briefcase sticking out of her right saddlebag. “That’s for Angel Bunny.”
“How nice! I think it’s too big for him, though. He needs one much smaller.”
“Oh, I think he’ll be pretty happy with that one.”
“If you say so. Would you like some tea?”
“Wish I could, Fluttershy, but we gotta move some crates right quick.” Applejack pointed her nose toward a stack of wooden crates and steel drums up against the cottage’s outer wall. Harry the bear sat on the grass in front of them watching her, along with same the four ferrets she’d seen in Sugarcube Corner, who were leaning against the wall, smoking cigarettes and looking very uneasy.
“Hey!” Applejack called. “Put out them cigarettes, you damn fools! You trying to get yourselves killed?”
Fluttershy frowned and walked over to the ferrets. “Applejack is right,” she said. “Smoking is very bad for you. I’ll give you something much nicer.” She pulled the cigarettes out of their mouths one by one, giving each a dog treat instead. The ferrets watched dumbly and chewed their treats as she ground each cigarette out under her hoof on the grass. “Good ferrets,” Fluttershy said.
Applejack trotted over to the crates. The bear lumbered out of the way, and Applejack began unstacking them. She lifted the lid off each after unstacking it and looked inside. When she’d looked in them all, she nodded, and pulled out the briefcase and set it on the ground. The ferrets immediately swarmed over it, sniffing it all over.
“Didn’t you say that was for Angel?” Fluttershy asked.
“Don’t worry, they’ll get it to him,” Applejack said. She turned back to the stallions waiting by the wagon. “Okay, boys, load ‘em up!” The stallions pulled the wagon up alongside the crates and drums, then began lifting them one at a time, setting each one down very gently inside. The wagon’s floor was covered with a thick layer of straw.
“Why do those crates say ‘DANGER’ in big block letters on every side?” Fluttershy asked.
“That’s so ponies know to be extra careful with them,” Applejack said.
“I guess it could be pretty dangerous if one fell on somepony,” Fluttershy said.
“Oh, yes,” Applejack agreed. “Yes it could.” She tugged at the brim of her Stetson. “Listen, Fluttershy, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. It’s about that bunny.”
Fluttershy’s eyebrows raised in alarm. “About Angel? Oh, no. Has he been getting into your apples again?”
“No, nothing like that. I’m talking about—well, I never thought I’d say this—I’m talking about something bigger than apples.”
Fluttershy gasped. “Applejack! Are you feeling all right?”
“Righter than a radical Republican,” Applejack said. “Fluttershy, your bunny is involved with some bad ponies. Dangerous ponies.”
“Hey, AJ!” Stinky called. “There’s only five drums of Sarin. You said there’d be ten.”
“It’s all square!” Applejack called back. “These’re forty-gallon drums. Set ‘em between the boxes of 50 caliber rounds so they don’t roll.” She turned back to Fluttershy. “So as I was sayin’, your bunny’s running with some bad company.”
“Applejack,” Fluttershy said, “I’m disappointed in you. You know that everypony deserves a chance at friendship.”
“Oh, yes, I know that. And I’m not sayin’ what Angel’s doing is exactly wrong. I believe ponies have a right to make their own mistakes. Ain’t nopony else got a right to poke their nose in. What you do is your business.”
“Um… why? Who else’s would it be?”
“Exactly,” Applejack said. “Let the free market reign, is what I say."
"Except for import tariffs," Stinky called out from behind a crate.
"Well, of course, except for import tariffs. But other than import tariffs, let the free market reign."
"And grain subsidies," another stallion added.
"And the corn-oil heating fuel mandate," Stinky called. "Don't forget that."
"Right," Applejack said. "All this regulating of this and that and telling ponies their business is what we’re really against, except for import tariffs, grain subsidies, the corn-oil heating fuel mandate, prayer in schools, and a few other culturally important exceptions. We don’t hate unicorns and pegasi, you know.”
“I didn’t think you did, Applejack.”
“Course not!” Applejack said. “Well, Stinky there does. And Bushel. But most of us don’t really hate flappers and hornheads. Almost definitely less than half. Anyway, don’t you worry your pretty head about that, Sugarcube. You can be sure I’ll put in a good word for you on the day of reckoning.”
“I’m sure that’s very nice of you.”
Applejack moved closer to Fluttershy and lowered her voice. “What you should worry about is that bunny’s bitten off more than he can chew. His eyes are bigger than his head, is what I’m sayin’. He’s taken over too many markets of too many products, and pushed out too many small-timers. Sooner or later he’s gonna find himself holding the short end of the carrot, and then there’ll be trouble. Royal trouble, if you catch my drift.”
“I don’t think I do,” Fluttershy said.
“What I mean is, speaking strictly as a business-pony, he should have stuck to his core competencies. Not stuck his furry little nose into this and that and the other thing so’s a pony can’t hardly turn around in this town without bumping into him.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to have a good long chat with him about it.”
Applejack’s eyes widened. “Don’t do any such fool-pony thing. And don’t mention my name. What I’m sayin’ is, you gotta put some distance between yourself and that bunny.”
Fluttershy shook her head sadly. “How can you say that, Applejack? You, the Element of Loyalty?”
“Honesty,” Applejack said. “I’m the Element of Honesty. You’re confusing me with Rainbow Dash again.”
“Oh! Sorry. I wonder why everypony keeps doing that.”
“I have no idea,” Applejack lied.
It was after dark when the last knock on Fluttershy’s cottage door came.
“Princess Celestia!” Fluttershy said. “What a surprise! Angel, look who’s here to see us. Princess Celestia and…” She peered into the darkness outside and counted. “… and twenty of her guards. Would you like some tea, Princess?”
“Forty guards,” Celestia corrected, stepping inside. “The others are in the back.” A dozen guards rushed in after her. Three clomped up the stairs, three ran back into the bedroom, and the rest took up positions all around the tiny front room’s walls.
“That’s probably just as well,” Fluttershy said. “I don’t think my house is big enough for forty guards. I don’t suppose Twilight is with you?”
Celestia snorted. “She’s at the hospital, getting her stomach pumped.”
“Oh, no. Again?”
“It seems to happen every time I ask for her assistance lately.”
“That’s very odd. Um… why are you all looking at Angel Bunny like that?”
Celestia and the guards still in the room were all staring at the little bunny, who cowered in the center of the room. He hopped over to Fluttershy and tried to hide underneath her.
“I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but Angel has been a very bad bunny. I’m afraid he needs to be punished.”
“Angel? Surely there’s some mistake. Angel is a sweet little bunny. Just look at him.”
“A sweet little bunny?” Celestia said. A cloud of her magic field dragged Angel out from under Fluttershy, kicking and squealing, to hang in the air facing Celestia. She held him there until he stopped kicking and hung limp, shivering. Then a small, clear crystal that looked like quartz floated up between the two of them.
“Recognize this, Angel? We intercepted twenty kilos of this headed for Vanhoover.”
The bunny leaned forward and sniffed at the crystal.
“Don’t act so innocent. We know your product.”
Fluttershy reached up one hoof to stroke the shivering rabbit’s back. “There, there,” she said. “Don’t worry, Angel. We’ll get this all straightened out in no time.”
“Oh, we will,” Celestia said, “we will.” She leaned in until she was eye-to-eye with the bunny. “I told you before, bunny: Vanhoover is Cadence’s territory.”
Then Celestia marched out the door, dragging a wide-eyed Angel along behind her.
“Wait!” Fluttershy called. “Will you bring him back tomorrow?”
Celestia paused. “Do you already have a winter hat, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy blinked. “Y…yes. A very nice one that Rarity made for me.”
“Then I don’t think there’d be much point to it,” she said before marching off into the night.
Soon the little cottage was quiet again. Fluttershy looked around the empty room, then opened the front door and stepped outside.
She took two steps and stumbled in the dark on what should have been her front lawn. She got up slowly and saw that the turf all around the cottage was torn and trampled by iron-shod hoofs.
She walked around to the back of the cottage. All around in the darkness were pairs of bright spots, some high up, some low along the ground. They drew toward her, blinking, until she could see the dark outlines that went with each pair of moonlit eyes.
Fluttershy sighed. “We’re going to have to move again,” she said.
She stood looking up at the stars, feeling the chill night air on her fur. Animals pressed around her in the dark, leaning against her legs, giving support, taking support.
She reached out one hoof to scratch the neck of a muskrat. It chittered quietly back.
“You know,” she said, “at times like these, I wish you guys really could talk.”
Author's Note
A lot of folks have commented that they're not sure what happened. I'll post a detailed explanation on my blog in a few days.
