A Brief Glance At The Papers On Princess Luna's Desk

by Neon Czolgosz

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Random
Length: 2432

Princess Luna should invest in an in-tray.

Princess Luna should invest in an in-tray.

Part one of a three-part series.

Published 2016-06-08 22:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-08 22:50:02 UTC

First Available Surface

Dear Auntie Lu,

Got diplo. meeting w/ the buffalo tribes to-morrow, leaving on the 5am from Farrier Station. Want to set up trade & gift-giving, put a stop to unsolicited encroachment from pony settlers, & the like. Dreadful rummy case of nerves. Could use a stiff tipple & sound advice. Can I trouble you for a drink in the eve?

Your nephew,

BB.

[A sketch of some wheat]

[A group photograph of Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, Philomena, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, and Prince Blueblood, pinned to a charcoal sketch of the photograph]

Ball & Crystal Applied Augury for the Social Sciences, page 178

A note on the validity of Berryshine fructic haruspex: these tests and their results provides a model of the form and function of a threat provided these conditions:

1) The likelihood of the threat has been established to P < .05
2) The threat is unidirectional
3) The auguric indices for the non-model threats (Pear & Compote, 967) are both correct and comparable, i.e. the thaum emissions for all are non-heterogenous, portents are normally distributed, et cetera.

If the first condition is not met, the chalk vectors will only reflect sampling bias and random error, and all subsequent results will be invalid. If the second condition is not met, the results may be internally valid, but only due to self-fulfilling prophecy (Speardancer, 912). If the third condition is not met, the intra-threat modelling of intentions will collapse (because the final part of the haruspex is for all intents and purposes a standard analysis of variance, see p1106) and the direction, acceleration, and mass of each vector will no longer represent the type, time, and danger of each threat--instead, they will only show that type, time, and danger exist for the threat. Note that this cannot be solved simply by use of a non-parametric analysis of variance; the assumptions will not map correctly to the rest of the haruspex and any results will be nonsense. Instead, consult chapter 30 for instructions on augury under non-standard conditions.

Directions: Draw a casting circle in chalk under standard conditions, and keep relevant data on hoof. Gather wax, alum, a sharp knife (copper or steel, NOT silver), and five ripe passion fruits. In a clockwise direction--

[The writing on this page of lined paper has been scribbled over to the extent that it is entirely illegible, but from the structure of the lines, it appears to have once been poetry]

Canterlot Palace Internal Memoranda
Clearance Level TS
03/03/1005
Sender: Accnts Rcvbl
Recipient: HRH Luna

Your Highness,

Per your request I have collated and attached the Equestrian Intelligence Service evaluations on relevant states and non-state actors, as well as possible environmental, criminal, and magical threats to internal security. The yearly audit for the prophetics department is also included, as is the latest cryptomancy review. Our analysts have advised that I bring special attention to recent uprisings in the griffon-deer-camel border states, as these will likely lead to diplomatic tensions in the coming months.

Your faithful servant,

Soft Spoken.

...alchemical preparation appears to be a dead end, I’m afraid. To my knowledge, chiral separation in mind-influencing potions is technically possible but entirely impractical, as any split of cis/trans isomers between 51/49 and 72/28* will revert to 50/50 by means of dynamic chemical equilibrium in the time between ingestion and absorption, and a concentration of cis or trans isomers above 72% would render the mixture thaumically unstable, breaking down the compounds and releasing energy as emotional radiation. While preparations of up to 99.8% cis isomer have been synthesized, they exist for less than a tenth of a second under standard conditions. As a matter of theory, chiral preparations provide fertile ground for magical development, but practically speaking they are a curiosity, like industrial diamonds or self-driving carriages.

Your explanation of the mechanics of the... construct? Spell? The thing that we call ‘Nightmare Moon,’ was far less disturbing than I had anticipated. No offense intended, of course. As I’m sure you’ve learned over the past few years, your insurrection and banishment have played a role in Equestrian mythology, in storytelling, art, and music, that is hard to overstate. Many myths suggested outright blood sacrifice as a cause! At the very least, a rogue construct ala the Alicorn Amulet, or the Inspiration Manifestation was suspected. To find out it was an--admittedly elegant--emotional amplification transformation based on the desire for respect and determination is both relieving and humbling. I now feel I would not dare use such a spell except in truly dire circumstances, but then, neither did you. Perhaps I am wrong, then, and the better alternative is to test such a spell long before circumstances require it, so that we might be talked down before we fall.

Have you considered Turnip Tester’s** simulations of magical constructs for proving such a spell? The principles behind the Turnip Test (also known as the Spot Which One Is Really A Pony Game) should hold for measuring the difference between a given intellect and a given intellect plus enhancement. Not a perfect solution given the dearth of calculational power available, but perhaps a useful start.

A pleasure to hear from you, always,

Twilight Sparkle.

*72.3/27.7 under standard atmospheric conditions, to be precise. Although many of the practical applications of alchemy and chemistry were developed in your era, the yeomare’s work on theory, synthesis, and integration has been done in the last four centuries. I’ve listed several fascinating texts on the subject in the bibliography.
** As of last Wednesday, he’s engaged! Braeburn Apple’s brother (his name escapes me at time of writing, I confess) proposed to him in the Manehattan Indoor Gardens. They don’t have an exact date for the wedding yet, but I’ll be sure to pass it on!

[A photograph of Princess Twilight Sparkle, and the dragon Spike]

[Various sketches of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony]

Dear sister, do come and meet us for afternoon tea with nephew and the buffalo ambassador. We have ganache!

Love, Cel.

STAR SWIRL BINDS THE FIRE FLIES
Translation by Token Jar
Canterlot University Press, 918.

1 Hark! Hear of Star Swirl, Sorcerer and Sayer of Sooþs,

Bewhiskered, Bold and Wary, Bewildering Nobles

by Taking þeir Treacherous Trials as þe Trickster,

Spell-Stitcher, Traipsing Þrough Time and Aiding þe Ailing,

5 When Bryorde-Land Lit Up Lively with Lake-Edge Ley-Lights

He Came Þrough in þose Days, From Sun-Scorched Souþern Sand-Seas,

In þe Hierophant's Halls þe had Harkened High Wisdom,

Now He Returned, Spear Shouldered, Homeward, Hæt on His Head,

9 In Bryorde Town, Pænicked Ponies Plied Him with Mead Mugs,

Fire Flies, Alighted Flame Sprites, Delighting in Arson,

had Swooped from Snow-Capped Stone Spires, Toasting Þætch and Farmer’s Fields,

Fearless and Un-Feeling, Lunar Hoons of Hot Cæprice,

13 Ponies of Soft Soil, Earþ’s Offspring, Þey Could Not Wind-Weave,

and Douse þe Devil-Sprites in a Downpour, Nor Knew Þey

Unseen Sights of Aeþer, Horn Hexes and Wizard’s Wards,

Þeir Ærrows and Æxes Were Foal’s Toys To Fiery Foes,

17 Þey Sung Sorrows to Star Swirl, War-Wise and Weaþered Was He,

Yet Tightly Teþered to a Noble Heart, and Said He,

You, Bold of Bryorde! Hark my Trap to Trick þe Fire Flies,

With Great Guile We Shall Guide Þem, Elide Þem, And Bind Þem!

[A sketch of Princess Twilight Sparkle]

CHAPTER EIGHT
Classical and Modern Analysis of Fussy Strides’ The History Of The Palamino-Friesian War, and The Birth of Strategic Magical Military Planning.

Fussy Strides’ History has influenced military thought for three millennia, from Clover’s The Science of War to Von Nebelkriege’s Let’s You And Him Fight. Reflections of its ideas appear even in works it could not possibly have influenced. For example, despite being a century and a continent apart, Fussy Strides’ notes on siege warfare are tantalizingly similar to those of Rising Sun in the other seminal text of military strategy, How To Beat Enemies And Subjugate People.

In recent years, there has been a renewed interest in the sections of the text regarding high-magic beings. Though many historians and tacticians saw these parts as either exaggerations, myths, or simply tactically unsound, there has nonetheless--

Dear Your Highness, Princess, Luna.

Thank You, for your Purchase, of two hundred and eighty nine, apple Turnovers. I hope they, were too your Satisfaction, and look, forward to doing business with you, again. It goes Without saying, that we would be glad, to, extend a line of credit, at a rate Free of interest, should you wish to set up a Regular purchase of any apples, jams, preserves, juices, presses, ciders, brandies, conserves, pastries, & pies from, Sweet Apple Acres .It is an Honor, to have the opportunity to, do business with Equestrian Royalty.

Yours Faithfully And Sincerely,

Applejack C. Apple

DEAREST SISTER:

The game.

-Lu

Your Royal Highness Princess Luna,

My deepest thanks for your assistance in setting up the new cross-training program between the Wonderbolts and your Night Guard. Attempts to create something like this have been made on and off for decades, and until now they have always fell into military bureaucracy and failed to thrive. I consider myself both lucky and incredibly honored to be the Wonderbolt captain to see this endeavor take off.

Guardponies Fang, Ashwing, and Fluffles are settling in well at the Wonderbolt barracks as part of the fact-finding and program planning mission. They have joined us on exercise twice already, and are clearly excellent soldiers and fliers. Their counterparts will arrive at the Canterlot Aerie at 2100 hours tonight. I have sent Airponies Fleetfoot and Soarin, and Probationary Airpony Rainbow Dash. They are fliers of the highest calibre, and I am certain they will not disappoint, so please, feel free to put them through their paces.

Thank you again, your servant,

Captain Spitfire, 1st Wonderbolts Regiment.

PINKIE PIE, TREASURED FRIEND, We have greatly enjoyed your many mead-meets of past, and our presence is assured at your next gathering, where I shall indulge incessantly in garrulous gabbling, bull-headed imbibement of brewed bottled boozes, & scurrilous song-singing of sisterly strifes.

We look forward to your presence,

Princess Luna.

Polymer Quantum Dots As Markers In Biological Transformation Spells: A Review
C. Twinkleshine, A. Beaker

Received 10 April 1002, Revised 2 June 1002, Published October 1002.

Abstract

Quantum dots are crystalline fluorescent semiconductors only a few nanometers long, and are used in imaging in science, thaumaturgy, and industry. Early iterations had limited use in medical and biomagical applications because they were built from heavy metals, but developments in polymers and chaotic-harmonic enhancements have allowed the creation of a new generation of quantum dots without the toxicity. This review examines 29 papers on the use of quantum dots as markers in biomagic, and provides an overview of relevant models, theories, and explanations. Modern quantum dot techniques have made a sea change in transformation magic possible, but the field is facing a its own Grassmeadow-Bluewing problem, where techniques are only viable at very low (sub-millithaum) and very high (gigathaum) magic levels. Further avenues for research, and possible theoretical limitations are discussed.

[A watercolour painting of Princess Twilight Sparkle]

~~Mauve,~~ amaranthine, lilac, ~~plum~~, ~~lavender~~, ~~lavender~~, lavender, violet, periwinkle, amethyst, ~~perse~~, magenta
need more synonyms

[A sketch of half a fresh fig]

...finished reading the theory circles for your lunar magics yesterday, and excuse the terrible pun but they left me spellbound! I’ve seen the math for linking runic casting with magical topology, I mean, Olive Oiler’s second equation* demonstrated that they share the same metaphysical basis in the same manner that calculus and trigonometry share the same basis, and I’ve conceptually understood spells that combine the two (though rarely without seeming gimmicky and overcomplicated), but your spirit-to-shape transform... It is beauty itself. It feels as if it were crafted purely for the purpose of demonstrating the connection between runes and topology as cleanly as A^2+B^2=C^2 demonstrates the connection between the two sides of a triangle and its hypotenuse. To say nothing of its applications!

I have included diagrams for six new** spells derived from your theory circles, mostly a set of theoretical scribbles from late in the evening, but the possibilities have me shaking with excitement! With your permission, I should like to share your theory circles with Lovely Lace and Chopped Cabbage, at the Canterlot Clockwork Institute. I’ve mentioned their work on the difference engine before, and though not a magic bullet (again, excuse the pun) I believe your work might turn their theoretical Supermassive Mechanical Mega-Abacus out of the theory stage. If such technology could be scaled down, well, that is the realm of speculative fiction†.
.
Always a delight to hear from you, your friend,

Twilight Sparkle

*Two-hundred years after your time! I’ve recommended a few books for light reading on Oliver Oiler in the bibliography overleaf, the palace library has them all in stock.
** “New,” says Twilight Sparkle, exaggerating shamefully! To be perfectly clear, three are simply transforms of well-known telekinetic-topographic spells into runic preparations, one is a useful-but-banal counterspell, another is a paradoxical proof which cannot be cast but confirms well-known laws of magical theory, and only the sixth can grudgingly be termed a novel spell. I’ll hopefully be able to design some more impressive applications over the coming weeks.
† A whole genre after your time, at least as I would recognise it! Dozens of recommendations overleaf.

Dear auntie,

The new Trotholm MoT is an utter berk. Real rotten egg, & voice like a bow saw. Don't think Auntie Cel can put up with the chap for much longer. Just a horns-up.

BB

Dear sister, could you sit in for me at a meeting tomorrow? Something has come up and I can't attend. It's just an informal brunch between a few of our ponies in the Foreign Office and the Minister of Trade from Trotholm. Daisy will have the briefing for you. Ever so grateful,

Cel

FLUTTERSHY, DEAR FRIEND, We are greatly pleased to hear of your sanctuary for bats in wake of the fire-beetle swarm in the Everfree. The Royal Treasury has disbursed 1000 bits to spend on your project as you see fit. Though I know you are a skilled caretaker, I have dispatched one of the Night Guard’s veterinarians to Twilight Sparkle’s castle, to provide advice and assistance as you see fit. You have done a fine deed.

Your friend,

Princess Luna.

[A crude caricature of Princess Celestia, guzzling an entire barrel of white wine while belching loudly]