Across the Ages

Chapter 6

“Oof!” Tommy’s lungs had been quickly relieved of their contents by the cute, bubbly, annoyingly gleeful, pink pony rudely bouncing upon his stomach.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

“Pinkie, some decorum, please~! Tommy may be brash but even he doesn’t deserve to be so rudely trounced upon,” Rarity scolded as she pulled on Pinkie’s elbow, though she was ultimately unable to move her.

“But he’s gonna miss breakfast! It’s the most important meal of the day!” Pinkie whined.

“While that may be true, one should never force somepony to do what they are not willing to.”

“Really?! But, we do it all the time!” Pinkie began to count on her fingers, “Discord was forced to be good! Flim and Flam were run out of town, twice! Iron Will had to abandon his payment from Fluttershy! Nightmare Moon-“

“Yes, yes. I see your point. Let me rephrase. Ponies who are not causing trouble should not be force to do things against their will.”

“When you’re done with your soapboxing, maybe you could get the fuck off of me,” Tommy growled.

“There is no need to be rude,” Rarity huffed.

“There sure as hell is. This little pink monster won’t stop jumping on me and I’m not even in a position to enjoy the act or view.”

Pinkie Pie giggled at Tommy, but Rarity was less than pleased. “Why… you… vulgar… rude… horrid… thing!”

“Hey,” Tommy said as he finally managed to roll onto his back and sat up with Pinkie still in his lap and he began to stroke her mane, “words hurt.”

Rarity was taken aback at Tommy’s comment and the, clearly, fake pout. She spun on her heels and flounced out of the room. Pinkie stopped her bouncing, having watched Rarity leave, and turned to Tommy with a pout of her own.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be so mean to Rarity. She’s really nice and one of my best friends. She doesn’t deserve to be made fun of.”

Tommy had never seen Pinkie like this, granted he hadn’t known her long, but the point remained valid. Seeing the normally lively and bouncy (especially in certain areas) girl look so sad hurt Tommy, and that was something he didn’t like. In prison, showing one’s emotions was showing one’s weaknesses.

“Yeah, alright. Hop on down and I’ll meet you in the chow hall.” Pinkie cocked her head to one side like a puppy hearing a weird noise. “You know, the dining room.”

“Oh yeah! I know the way!” Pinkie climbed up onto Tommy’s shoulders, one leg over each one, and pointed out the door. “Now, onward my faithful steed!”

“Steed? But you’re the equine here.”

“Huh? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Never mind. Let’s just see what kind swill they got on the line.” Tommy stepped out into the hallway and followed the directions given by the pink, party-prone pony posted upon him. While walking the halls, Rainbow Dash came up to them and floated alongside them in a lounging posture. “Hey, Skittles. Didn’t know wings worked upside-down like that. Pretty impressive.”

“Hmph, this is nothing. You should see the stuff me and the other Wondersbolts can pull off when we’re in synch.”

“Yeah! They’re awesome! But Dashie’s Sonic Rainboom is way awesomer!” Pinkie bragged.

“Hay yeah it is! It’s no wonder they fast tracked me through their training right onto the team.”

“If you say so.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Dash growled.

“Mea culpa, Skittles. No offense meant. What I meant was simply that since you can fly naturally, it’s no more special than a unicorn performing stage magic. Skill, practice and a lot of hard work would definitely be required, but any flyer could train for fancy flying, too. You should see the fliers of my world though. Now those people are incredible.”

“But you said there was no magic on your home, Tom-tom!” Pinkie said. “How could you have fliers?”

“Machines.” Both mares looked at him with a questioning expression.

“You mean like trains and stuff?” Rainbow asked.

“Yeah, but we had gotten past trains, like, two-hundred years ago. When I came here, we had super-sonic planes that could get you across the ocean in just a couple hours. Back when the economy was still strong, they used to have airshows where pilots would fly fighter jets in formations that left only a few inches between their wingtips. If they touched, they would almost certainly die in a horrible explosion. Those guys had some serious guts.”

“Okay, that does sound pretty cool,” Rainbow conceded. “But what’s a plane?”

“Isn’t that obvious, Dashie?” Pinkie answered. “It’s a flying machine!”

“Got it in one, ya little monster,” Tommy held up one hand, palm open. Pinkie smacked her own hand into it in a high five. Her hand only taking up about half of his.

“Yeah, okay, but then what’s a fighter jet?”

“A war machine,” Tommy responded as if it was nothing. His nonchalant attitude when responding caught Rainbow of guard so much that she fell to the floor.

Rainbow scrambled to her hooves just as Tommy was walking through the doors to the dining hall. “Wait a second! What do you mean by ‘war machine’? You can’t just say something like that and walk away like it’s nothing!” Her outburst had gotten the attention of everyone sitting around the big table inside the hall.

“What’s got you so confused?” Tommy asked as he plucked Pinkie from his shoulders and carefully set her on the floor. “War machine, a machine used for war.”

“What’re you two yappin’ about so early in tha mornin’?” Applejack demanded.

“And did you say something about a war machine? You mean something like catapults?” Twilight asked.

“Catapults?” Tommy laughed out loud as he pulled a seat out for himself that was normally reserved for if Celestia ever dropped by. “No one on Earth has used catapults for real war in centuries. Why hurl a stone a few hundred yards when you can wipe a city off the planet from the other side of that planet with the push of a button.”

The girls stared at Tommy flabbergasted. “H-how horrid,” Rarity said.

Tommy shrugged and held out his hands. “Earth is full of horrid people. Some of them manage to get in charge. I’m sure you all have some ponies like that here.”

“Yeah, but they don’t stay in power long, thanks to Princess Celestia,” Twilight answered.

“Lucky you,” Tommy soured a little at the mention of the dreaded Sun Princess. “We can’t all be fortunate enough to have actually benevolent leaders. Some of us get stuck with what we’re given.”

“That’s awful,” Fluttershy said. “How long has it been like that?”

“Since the very beginning. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Tommy sighed. “Enough of this depressing topic,” we waved as if dismissing an unappetizing meal. “What amusing adventures do you all have planned for today?” They all told him that they were going to go about their normal careers, none of which sounded very interesting, until Applejack mentioned that she would be spending most of her day inspecting and tending to her farm. “Really? Can I join you?”

“Ya’ll wanna join me? On my farm?” Tommy nodded. “No offense, Sugarcube, but why?”

“I’ve never seen a farm. I wanna know how they work.”

“Well, Ah can’t really see why not. If ya really want to, Ah guess that’s okay.”

“Cool. Should be an interesting day.”

“If ya say so,” Applejack said before taking a bite of her waffles with cinnamon apples.

*****

“C’mon, big boy. Move them tree trunks ya call legs ‘n’ catch up.”

“Shut… up… you… mean… pony,” Tommy panted.

Applejack chuckled. “Hoo~wee! Ya’ll need ta get out inta tha fresh air more. A colt your size should be able to rip uh mid-sized tree out uh the tha ground by its roots.”

Tommy flopped onto his butt and gulped for air. “Maybe if I were built like your brother over there,” Tommy pointed with a thumb over his shoulder at a musclebound, red-furred, country stallion toting a barrel of apples that had fallen off the trees over each shoulder as if they were papier mache.

Applejack chuckled again. “Like Ah said, fresh air ‘n’ hard work. Me ‘n’ Big Macintosh have been working here at Sweet Apple Acres since we were little foals.”

“Then why is he so bulky while you look like a fitness model?”

Applejack was stunned for a moment, but she recovered with a sly grin. “Oh-ho~. Are ya’ll getin’ sweet on little ol’ me?”

“Huh? No, no, nothing like that. Don’t get me wrong, you’re cute and all, but you’re far too child-size for me. I would need someone closer to my own size to not fell like a complete creeper.”

“Hmm… Ah s’pose that’s true. Nah, you’d need somepony bigger ta match up ta yur size.” Applejack got another sly grin. “Somepony like tha princesses.”

“Heh, yeah. Someone around their size would be good. But Ol’ Sunbutt worries me. She’s stupid powerful and goes insane whenever I mention this little blue girl I saw in the palace.”

“Oh, ya saw her did ya? Yeah, Princess Celestia is very protective of her, and ya’ll really need ta keep her a secret.” Applejack thought for a second. “Why’d ya call her Sunbutt anyway? Ah mean, Ah get the sun part. ‘N’ since we were talkin’ about the princesses, it was obvious who ya meant, but Ah still don’t get it.”

“Oh, that’s because of her tattoos.”

“Tattoos? What’re those?”

“What do you mean? Your brother’s got one on his shoulder.”

Applejack looked at Big Macintosh, who was headed toward the house, and spotted the green half apple on his shoulder. “That? That’s just his cutie mark. See?” Applejack lifted the hem of her top few inches confusing and concerning Tommy a little. “This here’s mine.” She pointed to three perfect red apples on her abdomen a little above her waist.

“Huh. Well Celestia’s is a sun.”

“Ya mean you’ve seen it?!”

Tommy smirked, “Kinda hard to miss a golden sun peeking out of some woman’s sexy undies.”

“Her undies?”

“Yep.” Tommy smacked the area where his outer thigh became the side of his buttock. “Right here. Tell you what, I wouldn’t mind seeing that sunrise again, that’s for sure.”

“Watch yer mouth,” Applejack warned. “There’s uh lot uh ponies, yours truly included, that wouldn’t take too kindly ta hearin’ anypony speak to callously ‘bout Princess Celestia.”

“Are you threatening me?” Tommy raised a single eyebrow.

Applejack shook her head. “No Ah ain’t. Ah don’t know how ya’ll treat mares, or whatever you call yer females, but here you’ll get along better if ya show ’em respect.”

Tommy stood shakily and forced himself to straighten up despite the petitions from his muscles. “Jackie, I hear your warning and will take it under advisement.”

“Jackie?” Applejack deadpanned. “My friends may call me A.J. but we ain’t there yet and nopony calls me ‘Jackie’. Call me that and I’ll use you to fertilize my apple trees.”

“Alright, that’s it. I’m heading out before I say too stupid for me own good.” He turned and walked down the dirt road toward town. “I’ll see you again soon, I hope,” Tommy waved. Applejack simply watched him leave before returning to her chores. She didn’t see him collapse in pain as soon as he turned the corner.

*****

After his dinner and long soak in the tub, Tommy settled himself into his bed. He was exhausted, but he was in too much pain to sleep. Instead, he pulled out the journal of Starswhirl the Bearded. He hadn’t gotten far into it the night before due to passing out and staining his pillow with drool.

“Let’s see… ah, here we go.”

I still don’t understand what how all this mag stuff happened. All I know for certain is that it all started centuries ago with a bang. Well, Earth shattering explosion might be more apt. After all, it was a meteorite that brought all this weird energy. As messed up as it was before, I sometimes miss the world I knew. I miss Earth.

I used to own a ranch, nothing too grand, but it was home. It had been passed down through my family for generations and I hoped to one day pass it on to my own children, but that dream will never happen. One, it was destroyed. Two, I never had any children. And three, since animals have gotten so smart, it would be too much like slavery to keep them penned up in cages, especially all the ponies we had.

Amongst the ponies he had were two horses, a mare and a stallion. We had hopes that we could breed them to help replenish the population that had been dwindling over the years. Equines of all kinds were all but extinct due to the global economic decline over the past few decades. With too few people being able to afford what is essentially an expensive dog you can ride, and even fewer being able to gamble on races, horse breeding fell off bringing the population with it.

Sadly, we couldn’t get enough buyers to continue paying the staff necessary to keep the breeding program running. We had to let them go. That fact weighed heavily on my parents. We wound up having to sell off a large portion of our livestock to support ourselves, then some of our land. This drove my parents into a deep depression, followed by an early grave. The depression combined with the strain of working the whole ranch with just three hands simply wore their bodies down.

Luckily, the land was purchased by the government instead of some industry. They said that the land was perfect for some experiment they were doing. They told me it would save the whole human race. Some big brains from DC explained that the fact that there were no trees on the flat grounds we used to use for grazing land were ideal. At the time I didn’t get it and I don’t think I’ll ever grasp it fully. Oh well. The money was good and my little ponies wouldn’t be harmed.

It may sound weird, but I really miss my old ponies. They may not have been the best of company, and they were a lot of work, but they were family. We had all kinds, too. There were a few Shetlands, Dulmans, some Kerry Bogs, et cetera. My favorites, however, were the two I always called horses. In truth though, they were Australian Riding ponies. Beautiful ones, too. The male we named Hannibal after the great general, Hannibal Barca. His mate we called Faust, for the legendary German legend about a scholar who sold his soul for the world’s knowledge. True the scholar was a man, but who cares, it’s a good name.

My parents always had a love for literature, which is why the Australians had such bizarre names. Heck, it’s why I chose such a strange name as my own pseudomamma. No, there’s no book with a character named Starswirl the Bearded that I know of, well, from before the meteor anyway. I chose the name Starswirl because it just sounded like something out of some kitschy novel, the beard part should be obvious enough to anyone who’s met me.

It’s been a very, very, long time since I’ve gone by my real name, I don’t think I can even remember it. After all, a human’s brain was not meant to store memories from ten millennia of living. I only remember Faust and Hannibal because they were with me for most of that time. Just a side effect of the meteor striking where it did. Namely, right between the ranch house and the barn, where Faust and Hannibal were in their stalls. It wreaked havoc across the planet (which I’ll get into later), but before it nearly wiped out every living thing, it took out my home.

There are nights I still lay awake thinking about my long lost ranch, family, and home. I’ll never forget my good old Canterlot Ranch.