The Knight's (Not-so) Brilliant Idea!
Several weeks ago...
(Sir Cinemacus's POV)
Freedom is a poison and a blessing. It can send a man into ignorance and eventual poverty, while it can grant another so many ideas and ambitions, good and otherwise. I myself would hardly know that after all the years of being buried 6 feet under ground.
My past? It feels like a broken mirror. All the pieces are scattered on the ground. I would have to pick up every tiny fragment if I were to uncover it. That appears to be a doomed exercise, as I only remember the man that I left behind. He is my brother.
Z-Squared, if I am not mistaken. Quite a difficult man to decipher. He can be sarcastic and crude, even violently verbal, but suddenly wise and understanding. I would hardly know anything about the teenage demographic these days.
Perhaps I should stop rambling and access my current situation.
I am floating in space. Accessing my next move. Of what I shall do, I have decided. My duty is to seek out film. To explore them through the course of time. After all, with a name like Sir Cinemacus, what else do you expect? A bit of a rushed decision but life is wasted unless you take action.
Now to find team members....the less than enjoyable way...
Several days later...
(Godzilla 2000's POV)
I'm not the emotional type. I'm just not. If I was, like Mothra, I'd be bawling my eyes out due to all the devastation I caused to a smaller and very annoying race: mankind.
Since I've got some time on my hands, I might as well break myself down. I'm not my grandfather, who truly embodied the threat of the atom bomb before being melted down to a skeleton. I am not my father's previous self, who went from destroyer to some kind of superhero before and back to destroyer before getting erased by future androids (how the flying f*** does that work?!). Finally, I'm not my father, who was awakened by a nuclear sub, went on some rampages, adopted me, saved the earth, died, and gave his energy to me. Yeah, my family tree is pretty messed up. At least I didn't fall out of it and hit every branch.
I'm not in the mood to smash a city just because I feel like it. I'm beginning to enjoy the silence of the island I live on. Ebirah isn't here to complain, Varan and Baragon aren't plotting anything retarded, Mothra is probably at home raising Fairy, Kumonga is sleeping, and my kid, Minya, is snoozing the day off. I don't blame him. The rest of the guys are doing god-knows-what.
Well, see you later. I might as well waste the day by hanging out with Anguirus and Rodan. Those are the only 2 guys besides King Caesar that don't annoy me to the breaking point. Then I hear something...
Wait, IS THAT A-.........
(Sir Cinemacus's POV)
Tranq. If you must know, my fallen Gojira. My quest is now only half complete. Now to bring him home to introduce him to the others...
(Godzilla 2000's POV)
Ugh. I feel like s***. It feels like I just got out of bed. I can't remember what happened after, I wish I was kidding, a purple blur knocked me out cold with some kind of dart. If this is the Global Defense Force acting up again, they're in for-
I stop dead in my tracks as I awake. The bright blue room looks like its fit for 2 or 3 of me and the metal doors in front of me are just my height. Is this place some twisted Kaiju hotel room or am I going nuts?
I waste no time in trying to smash the doors with my fists, feet, and tail. It takes it like nothing. Time to up the ante. I breath some thermonuclear breath but that only leaves a white hot mark on it. I roar but, what should be a roar for humans to hear and a question for Kaiju to hear becomes...coherent for both. "What the hell is going on?!" Don't ask me how that works.
Then I notice a chip embedded in my skin. I can make out some writing but it's pretty much a translator. Okay, whoever trapped me is defiantly human. Maybe.
The doors, as if some outer entity heard my cry for answers, opened. I had to make sure I was seeing this right. It was a large knight clad in purple and black armor with a large cape to boot. He even had a sword I swear looked to big for him to even wield. When I looked into his helmet, I saw only a blue orb. Either he was a cyclops or- oh, what the hell am I saying?! I decided to use my words in a way I would, well, what else to I need to elaborate?
"Hey, jackass! What's the big idea?"
"Good. I see you are awake." The knight spoke in a deep voice. I swear there was some British accent but maybe that part was forced. "I have known you for quite some time, Gojira."
I winced. I knew I had some fame around the world but was this guy some kind of creepy fanboy? I decided to humor him. "Look, I don't know who you are, but if it's an autograph you want, well- wait, one question."
"Yes?"
"Are you a Kaiju? You seem to be only a few inches shorter rather than tiny."
He seemed to look like he was clearing his mind. "Well, it should be noted that I am not exactly...human. But you should know, I have shrunk you down in order for you to fit into the house."
I froze with fear. I was at the mercy of whatever this thing was, the size of the very beings I hated, no less! This was beyond humiliating! I wasn't this guy's pet! "What the hell?! Why would you do that?!" I yelled angrily.
He started to chuckle. Damn him. He then spoke "I have a proposition that I have already made with 9, ahem, volunteers. Perhaps we can make negotiations? Oh, and by the way, I am Sir Cinemacus."
Proposition? Volunteers? Negotiations? Who does he think I am? Some gullible idiot who thinks he can manipulate me? I decided to settle things my way. My spines started to glow. I was ready to blast this loco straight to hell!
"I am afraid that will not be necessary." He said as he outstretched his hand towards me. Suddenly, I felt like I was floating upside down in the air. Then he slammed me down with an audible 'THUD!'. I've been punched many times before but for some reason, this hurt the worst. I nearly blacked out before I regained consciousness as I laid out on the floor.
"Okay. What do you want?" I asked. Might as well get this over with. "If it's money, prepare to be disappointed."
He shook his head and said "It is not gold, silver, bronze, or any currency I want. It is giving you something to enjoy that I desire." I suddenly got interested as I said "Okay, lay it on me Sir...whatever."
"Sir is fine." he assured. "My proposition is that you become a member of a well paid team I have orchestrated. I call it...the Review Team. We watch a manner of science fiction, horror, and fantasy throughout the course of time to preserve them. For I feel a great evil rising that wishes to damn them into oblivion. Having a team solidifies the process of purification as well as preservation. Commentary, especially on less than successful items, is most appreciated."
What he just said blew my mind. Just how high was he? Great evil? Films? What have I got myself into? I'm a Kaiju, not a film critic!!! "Look, I'd like to join your little psychotic charade, but I've gotta go. And don't do that...whatever you did."
I tried to walk past him but, in the blink of an eye, he was right in front of me with a contract in hand. "Why did you not just say so? The contract to help you leave is right here!" he exclaimed.
Without hesitation, I grabbed a pen he was holding and signed it. And that...
...was the biggest mistake I have ever made. Because then I realized something. What kind if idiot wouldn't read a contract before signing it? I did read soon afterward and I realized....I JUST SIGNED MYSELF IN TO THE WHOLE DAMN REVIEW TEAM THING!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!
"F*******************K! YOU CHEATING A**HAT!"
He looked stunned at my response as he said "My word, I did not expect you to react in such a way. I only require your services for one or two days a week. I shall even pay you."
I felt relieved I wouldn't be stuck here forever. Might give me something to do. I still wanted to let him have it. "Yeah, that's great and all but WHAT WOULD NEED MONEY FOR?!"
He grasped my mouth with his large hand as he said "Hush. Behavior like that is semi-intolerable. Let me ask you something. Are you and the inhabitants of your island starving?"
I loomed back for a moment. Food was defiantly running short ever since the Final Wars and I swore I smelled the scent of dead whale in the room next to mine. I love that stuff. Maybe I could make a killing out of this.
"Alright. I'm in." I said. I made a mental note to kick him in the nuts after a week or more.
He then looked jubilant as hell. "Excellent!" he exclaimed. "I shall introduce you to the other members. One has been dying to see you."
I wondered about the last part but I followed him nonetheless. As I did, instead of a shanty prison, I found...
...a pretty impressive mall-like interior. There was a large cafeteria in front of me and a post that had arrows leading to guest rooms, a master room, house controls (whatever that meant), and (my favorite) the exit. I would rush over to there but I had I feeling I didn't want to get on this knight's bad side. I looked up to the ceiling and I realized the stars looked brighter than usual.
"Ah," Sir said. "Did I mention our location? It known by you as...outer space."
I looked out one of the windows and saw he was right. I gasped when I saw Earth in close distance. I did a double take and looked the other way. Sir was in the center.
"Everybody! Out of your rooms!" he spoke. "We have a new member!"
I began to hear a flurry of noises. Footsteps and even metal clanking. He even heard some words.
"This had better be worth it..."
"I wonder who it could be..."
"I hope he's friendly"
"...who could it be?"
"...wonder if he's any fun?"
That was the precise jumble of words before he geared witness to the weirdest group of all.
They were all in a straight left and right line. Beginning from his left was a small purple Unicorn with some tattoo on her flank, a noodle armed humanoid in some kind of odd outfit, a giant silver robot with glowing red eyes, a floating cartoonic chimera, a man in a ice-related get-up, a pale teenage humanoid with fangs, a small yellow Pegasus with another tattoo, a red Dragon, and...
"Mothra?!" I exclaimed.
"Godzilla?! You're here! Thank Goodness you're in good hands." She replied as she looked happily. I had no idea what convinced her that we were in "good hands". If Mr. Cosplay did something to her head then I swear that there will be blood.
Sir soon appeared in front of me and said "Allow me to introduce me to each."
He pointed to the Unicorn. "This is Twilight Victoria Sparkle of Equestria. Gifted in magic and knowledge."
Twilight extended a hoof as she said "It's a pleasure to meet you but...what are you?"
I stared at her. Ponies were for little girls. Why was I here? I just shook it and said "I'm a Kaiju. Daikaiju to be precise. As in Giant Monster."
She nodded her head. "I see." she agreed.
Then Sir pointed to the humanoid in the costume. "The is Finn Mertens of Ooo. A young one that has protected his home world from countless threats."
He waved a hand as he said "Nice to meet ya, bro!" I never liked the idea of working with humans but hey. What can I do?
Sir then pointed to the robot. "This is Megatronus-"
"Megatron." the robot growled in a raspy voice. I had to admit, I was pretty intimated. He was my size, after all. I mean, I was no giant but this is ridiculous.
Sir coughed and spoke. "I meant, this is Megatron of Cybertron. Decepticon leader and gladiator warrior." Megatron stood silent with a permanent glare. I wouldn't blame him. He didn't seem to be happy to be here either.
Sir moved on to the chimera. "This is-" POOF!
The chimera was suddenly next to me. My eyes widened at the moment before he said "Getting tired of the old fart? Let me take over. Name's Discord. God of Chaos, Prince of Puns, Tyrant of Trashtalk, the whole shebang! By the way, nice spines."
He teleported away back to his post. I just stood there, shellshocked.
Sir looked annoyed before pointing to the ice man. "This is Victor Von Fries of Joel-verse Gotham City. Call him Mr. Freeze, for he is skilled with cryogenic weaponry."
Mr. Freeze, or whatever, shook my hand. It felt cold as hell as he said "You seem tired. Maybe you should CHILL." I rolled my eyes at the pun.
Sir then pointed to the girl, who didn't seem interested in the whole . "This is Marceline Abadeer of Ooo. Vampire queen and renowned musician."
She just waved at me and said "'Sup."
"You not happy to be her too?" I asked.
"Kinda sorta." she shrugged.
Sir pointed down to the Pegasus, who looked fearfully at me. The Dragon appeared to be comforting her. "These are Fluttershy Angelus Carinton and Basil Shadowclaw Carinton of Equestria. One embodies kindness and innocence, the other is a powerful dragon with a heart of gold."
Fluttershy meekly said "Hi." Okay. This is awkward.
Basil extended a claw as he said smiling "Hey, buddy! Nice to meet you!"
I groaned "Likewise."
Sir then chuckled "And I am very sure that you know Mothra of Infant Island." Mothra nodded her head. Good. The idiot was playing smart.
Sir floated up into the air in front of us all. He exclaimed "I now declare this team ASSEMBLED! Now I shall divide you into 3 groups. First, Megatron will lead Discord and Mr. Freeze"
Megatron smiled as he realized he was leading a god and a superhuman. Discord just shrugged in annoyance while Freeze rolled his eyes.
"Marceline will lead Fluttershy, Basil, and Mothra." Sir continued.
Marceline did a fist pump as she said "Oh, sweet! Who would have known I was getting a dragon?"
Basil looked at her suspiciously as he said "Ms, I'm not a pet."
Sir continued as he finished "And finally, Godzilla will lead Twilight and Finn." I thought this guy was doing everything he could not to piss me off.
I looked at my new...teammates. "Well, you got yourself a new leader. Dibs on the room."
Finn corrected me as he said " Uh, we share a room you know, right?"
I facepalmed. This was going to be a long allegiance.
Sir floated to Megatron. "Your first film will be the classic A Trip to the Moon. To the theater! The other teams will sit in the backseats." Everyone hurried over.
Yep. This is going to be a LONG allegiance.
Author's Note
Cast:
Sir-Himself
Godzilla 2000-Patrick Siez
Twilight Sparkle-Tara Strong
Finn-Jeremy Shada
Megatron-Frank Welker
Discord-John De Lancie
Mr. Freeze-Arnold Schwarzenegger
Marceline-Olivia Olsen
Fluttershy-Andrea Libman
Basil-Billy Zane
Mothra-Christina Valenzuela
Music:
Monster Island-Gurudo Valley from Super Smash Bros Brawl
Godzilla 2000's Cell-Brinstar Depths from Super Smash Bros Brawl
Sir's Space Castle-Onett from Super Smash Bros Brawl
Credits Theme-Night Falls from Tekken Tag Team Tournament 2
Yes, yes. The first two episodes are awful, though the second IS better by a long shot. Let me fix that.
Only Sir Cinemacus and his castle belong to me. I hope you all like the huge developments this will make.
See you soon!
