"I need you to punch me in the mouth. Pretty please?"
Rainbow Dash was used to odd requests from Pinkie Pie. It had only been two days since she'd asked for a single raincloud to hang above her head all day because she wanted to pretend to be sad. Last month's strange Pinkie favor had seen her stuck posing as a statue for two hours because Pinkie thought it would make Sugarcube Corner look "classier" for a visit from Princess Celestia. The fact that the Princess had seen the place before was lost on her.
This request, though, really took the cake–and considering that one of the requests it had to compare to was literally taking a cake, that was saying something. It was so surprising that it made her drop her cup of water, and she grumbled lightly as she watched it roll away.
"Could you repeat that?" Rainbow asked, tilting her sunglasses down and setting her magenta eyes directly on her friend. "I think I had a bit of crazy stuck in my ear."
"Silly Dashie!" Pinkie responded with a smile. "Crazy doesn't have a physical form! It's an abstract concept!" One pink hoof reached over to gently close Rainbow's hanging jaw. "Soooo? Will you punch me in the mouth or not? If not I guess I could ask Applejack or Fluttershy, but Applejack might do a bit more damage than I want and Fluttershy might not do enough."
"Slow down, Pinkie," Rainbow said, knowing that she might as well have been asking a zebra to change its stripes. "You realize this is weird even for you, right?"
"Uh, duh," Pinkie responded. "I wouldn't ask for you to punch me in the mouth if it wasn't super-duper important. And believe me, as far as important things go, this is the most importantest of all time!"
"You mean like the raincloud?" Rainbow asked flatly.
"Even more important!" Pinkie shouted. "Although that raincloud was preeeet-ty important too. Hey, do you think you could get another one of those for-"
"One favor at a time, Pinks," Rainbow said, covering Pinkie's mouth with a hoof. Rainbow was quite experienced in dealing with an excitable Pinkie Pie. If she wasn't cut off, she was completely capable of talking for hours on end without ever even approaching a point. "Now seriously, why in Equestria would you want me to punch you in the mouth?"
~~~~~~~~~~
Two Hours Earlier...
Life for Pinkie Pie was wonderful. Most ponies had to wait to be truly happy until they were doing their favorite thing or seeing their favorite pony. For Pinkie, nearly everything was her favorite thing, and nearly everypony was her favorite pony. Coming across happiness was easy as pie for the perky pink pony, and happiness was exactly what she was experiencing as she bounced along the road from the spa to Sugarcube Corner, Rarity trotting alongside her. Her mane and tail had never felt quite as fluffy and bouncy as they did right now, and she knew that she could easily grow to like this.
"Thank you soooo so much for inviting me to go to the spa with you, Rarity!" Pinkie said gleefully as she looked sideways to her friend. "I can't believe I've never spent any one-on-one time here with you before! Especially since you're always going with Fluttershy and Applejack!"
"Oh, think nothing of it, Miss Pie," Rarity responded with a light grin. "Honestly, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I certainly would have invited you sooner had I known you were interested, but I didn't think you'd be too keen on sitting still for so long."
"What made you think that?" Pinkie asked. Rarity's eyes traced the movements of her energetic companion as she pronked as if she was made of rubber.
"Call it a hunch," Rarity replied, giving her a little wink.
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie responded. "What made you hunch that?" Rarity chuckled lightly. It was hard not to laugh when Pinkie Pie was involved.
"I really am glad you were interested, Pinkie," Rarity said, grinning from ear to ear as they continued along the road. "I do love sharing the wonders that the spa has to offer with the ponies I care about." She glanced down at her friend's hooves, her brow furrowing in concern. "Although I worry that all this bouncing might have made the hooficure you received a waste of time. I don't mean to stifle your individuality, but don't you think walking would be more prudent right now?"
Pinkie stopped in midair, giving a bout of long and hard consideration towards Rarity's suggestion. Rarity barely batted an eyelash at the severe lack of attention paid to basic physics, having grown used to her friend's strange behavior. Pinkie Pie was a good pony, but if there was any law she had no issues breaking, it was the law of gravity.
"I guess that makes sense!" Pinkie stated simply, landing on the ground with a soft thud. She loved bouncing along the streets of Ponyville, but something about the way Rarity put it honestly did make sense. Rarity had this way of making sense when she spoke that Pinkie couldn't help but admire. It was a rare pony--no pun intended--whose gentle pistols of sense could fire through her twin AK47s of logic.
"There you go, darling," Rarity said gently. "After all the work that Aloe and Lotus put into your hooves, I'd hate to see them sullied up immediately."
"Hee...sullied is a funny word!" Pinkie replied, beaming at her dear friend. Smiling came naturally for Pinkie, but seeing the little signs of oncoming laughter in Rarity's face made it that much easier. Rarity was a naturally dignified pony, and as such, it was that much easier to catch the signs of oncoming laughter in her face. The way the right corner of her mouth upturned before the left, the way her eyelids narrowed slightly and showed just a bit more of her signature blue eye shadow...yes, there was no doubt about it. This was a clear level two gigglestorm approaching.
"Oh goodness,," Rarity said, giggling lightly. "You're too much, Pinkie."
"I'm too much Pinkie?" Pinkie responded, gasping. "I thought you liked how much Pinkie I was? How can I be less Pinkie?" This was going to be perfect. The gigglestorm had already reached level two, and a silly joke like that was bound to push it up to at least level four. She paid careful attention to Rarity's expressions, watching for the telltale onset of mirth. The slight roll of those deep blue eyes came first. A classy lady like Rarity typically wouldn't want to be seen by others when lost in the throes of extreme laughter, and Rarity was definitely a classy lady like Rarity. That eye roll was directed towards her own lack of self-control as she knew how helpless she was against what was coming next. Sure enough, a small peal of laughter erupted from her cute little mouth. Pinkie found herself energized as she watched Rarity's reaction. There were times where she found herself thinking she could be some sort of alternate version of changeling that fed off of laughter, because the rush that she got from making her friends laugh was simply invigorating.
"You know what I meant!" Rarity said between laughs. She took a deep breath, that kind of breath that one needed to take in a vain attempt to stop further laughter from escaping. "You're the perfect amount of Pinkie, darling."
Pinkie sighed happily as she watched Rarity's face for further signs of laughter. Her chest felt nice and warm as Rarity's words danced through her mind, twirling willy-nilly through her cerebrum. So concentrated was she on the combination of kind words and lovely face that she barely noticed the rock in her path. Had she been pronking per usual, she likely would have careened right over it, but a more ground-based method of ambulation left her susceptible to whatever the road had in mind for her. Before she knew what was happening, Pinkie found herself rump over tea kettle, a gasp from Rarity just barely audible in the background. Pinkie quickly found herself rolling; an activity she likely would have enjoyed had she been doing it of her own cognizance. Her unintended journey was brought to a sudden halt as she bumped into a signpost, her right front hoof taking the majority of the impact.
Pinkie squeaked as she felt a dull pain at the point of impact. She'd certainly felt worse in her life, but that didn't mean she had to enjoy it. She pouted pitifully as she pulled herself to a sitting position and raised her poor hurt hoof up for further inspection. She stared at the dirty little scuff on her hoof, and her pout deepened. Not only did it hurt a bit, but she had done exactly what Rarity had said not to in ruining Aloe and Lotus's work. It wasn't fair. It hurt and it wasn't fair.
"Oh, you poor darling!" Rarity said gently as she stood at Pinkie's side, her eyes filled with sympathy as she assessed the little wound. After a few moments of consideration, she gave a resolute little nod. "Don't fret, I know just how to fix this! Step one..."
Pinkie looked up at her friend as she stopped down towards her injury. Without another word spoken, Rarity's lips pursed. One pristine white hoof took hold of her pink one, and she watched in silence as Rarity lowered her face to the hoof and gave the wound a gentle kiss, punctuated by a soft, sweet "muhwa." Rarity, the pony who scoffed at the sight of filth, who wouldn't deign to touch mud unless it was imported, had touched her perfect little lips to her hoof. She cared not about the dirt upon it; her only concern was making Pinkie feel better.
"...And step two!" Rarity continued. Her horn lit up, pulling a small bandage out of her saddlebags. Pinkie watched in silent wonder as she carefully and precisely applied the bandage to the wound.
Pinkie was no doctor. She'd tried to be one once, but to say that it didn't work out was a mild understatement. Regardless of status, she was aware that a kiss and a bandage shouldn't have been enough to completely relieve the pain. It just wasn't physically possible. Being Pinkie Pie, though, she was used to the physically impossible becoming possible, and that seemed to be exactly what had happened. The little bit of pain she'd felt from her mishap felt like a distant memory as she stared at the bandage. The warmth in her chest from before had begun to show itself once more.
"That was my mom's cure-all, anyway," Rarity said, giving Pinkie a weapons-grade smile. "I hope I have her magic touch!"
Pinkie's eyes were no longer focused on the bandage. They had found something far more enjoyable to focus on. Rarity was all she was looking at, and as far as she could tell, Rarity was all she wanted to look at. Her lovely features, features which were altered by makeup that was entirely unnecessary on her natural beauty. Her impeccably-styled mane. Her third stereotypical point of interest when describing one's physical beauty. But it wasn't just the physical beauty that caught her eye. It was her beautiful, generous, caring soul that had hooked her and left her utterly helpless and, in a rare instance for her, speechless. Gears churned in Pinkie's head, metaphorical gears whose existence she hadn't even been aware of. For years, she'd been fine with the concept of not having a favorite pony, letting that designation fall upon everypony she cared about. Right now, there was a distinct possibility that this concept was about to change.
"Umm..."
Even her confused utterances were lovely.
"...Pinkie, are you alright?"
Pinkie stared at Rarity, whose expression had turned to one of confusion and slight worry. Pinkie only then noticed the sensation of something fluffy and recently-shampooed pressed between her body and her forelegs. She wasn't sure when her tail had found its way into her grasp, but there it was, its nigh-untamable curls clutched tightly against her chest and even taking up about a quarter of the bottom of her field of vision. Pinkie felt her cheeks become pleasantly hot, and the awkward smile that followed was entirely obfuscated by her tail. The idea of how strange she might have looked was not lost on her; she just didn't really care.
"I'm perfect why do you ask?" Pinkie replied, just a bit too fast.
~~~~~~~~~~
Pinkie nodded resolutely upon the consummation of her story, confident that she'd given Rainbow an accurate description of what had happened.
"...Yyyeah, that's great," Rainbow said. "Now do you think you could repeat that without my hoof covering your mouth?"
"Mph!" Pinkie mumbled in response, pulling away from Rainbow's hoof. She'd wondered why Rainbow didn't just pull it away herself, but she didn't care enough to ask. "I got a boo-boo on my hoof and Rarity kissed it and I think I fell in love with her and I want you to punch me in the mouth so she can kiss that boo-boo! Know what I mean?"
Rainbow stared at Pinkie for a few silent moments before breaking into a big grin.
"Pinkie Pie," Rainbow said, patting her on the back. "You go get her, okay? But you don't have to do any silly tricks to try and get her to kiss you on the lips. Just be yourself and tell her how you feel about her. You're awesome. I'm sure it'll work out without me having to sock you in the face...which is something I'd really rather not do."
Pinkie's smile grew at Rainbow's genuine words of encouragement. Rainbow wasn't the type to throw compliments out left and right. She was nice, but not too sappy, and getting such nice words without having it be backhanded or followed by a joke was not her usual style.
"Thanks, Dashie," Pinkie said, getting up to leave. "I think I'll do just-"
Pinkie's sentence was interrupted as her hoof fell on Rainbow's accidentally-discarded cup. Hooves flailed all over the place as Pinkie flew like a lame duck through the air before landing on the ground with a thud.
"Pinkie!" Rainbow shouted, galloping up to her. "Holy hayfeathers! Are you okay?"
Pinkie slowly peeled her face from the ground, shaking the little birdies that circled around her head. She groaned, touching a hoof to her face. Her thoughts were interrupted by a wince as her hoof touched her bottom lip, which had acquired a healthy little cut. Pinkie's eyes slowly widened upon her realization, and even though it hurt to do so, she smiled.
"I'm perfect, why do you ask?"
