RT Ep.2: Group Anxiety

by MasterOfNintendo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Fluttershy, Science Fiction, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 3078

Z-Squared arrives and the question "WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?!" is a hearty one indeed. Just ask Twilight and company.

Z-Squared, your average 1000 year old being of energy, had just got word that his idiot Knight brother just assembled the Review Team (including Twilight, Fluttershy, Basil and the dragon, and Discord). Sir, noticing that last episode was crap, decides to remind his members that they have a little thing called "Personality". Needless to say, complications ensue.

Published 2016-06-10 18:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-10 18:10:01 UTC

Let's Fix Things Up, Shall We?

Previously on The Review Team...

Sir Cinemacus went completely insane, captured 10 media characters by use of mind tricks, and now, they might as well get used to each other as Cinemacus plans to snap them out of their trance.

(Z-Squared's POV)

Since when did the house have a teleporter?

I mean, seriously, I'm walking from Whole Foods when suddenly, after I got back from a weeks worth of hanging out in Houston and calling my hair-brained brother about it, I'm suddenly beamed up to upstairs. I decided to check with my brother where he got that. I mean, I wasn't upset. Just unnerved.

Then I looked out the window. It looked like night but it was 1:00 PM. Okay. Now I was starting to get freaked out. I rushed downstairs to find...

...WHAT THE F***?! First, I see the house has been retrofitted with various things you'd see in a mall. Then, and I prayed that I was looking at this wrong, 10 characters that I knew only in media (some of which I just heard about) we're standing in a line as if they were in a trance. My personal idol, Godzilla 2000 (I'm a Godzilla geek. Deal with it.), was the only one who looked slightly unnerved.

Sir must have noticed me and he waved to me as if he was beckoning me to join his line of mindless zombies. I even had to do a double take when I saw that MEGATRON was among them.

I shouted "Bro, what the HELL are you on?! Explain!"

Godzilla glared. "Another human." he grumbled. "Great."

Sir shrugged. "I shall explain when I un-tap them from their trance. The first time they gathered, they acted as if it was no worry. However, I wish to have some fun. They will have their personalities, still, but only Godzilla will know what is happening."

"So we're supposed to forget everything in the first chapter basically?" I asked.

"Yes." Sir said flatly.

"Should I cover my ears?" Godzilla asked. I said "It helps." He did so as Mason snapped his fingers.

The next 5 seconds were precious. They all looked around and then their gaze met me, Sir, and Godzilla.

"Ummmm...." Sir twiddled his thumbs. "Greetings."

Chaos. Just pure undiluted chaos. Everybody was moving back and forth in confusion. Some were wondering why they were there, some angrily demanded it, and one even mentioned someone by the name of Nora. It all stopped when Sir clapped his hands and an array of lighting put them in place.

"Need I explain again? Perhaps this was the dumbest idea I have come up with. One moment, they are fine and the next, thanks to me, they panic. Sigh." Sir facepalmed.

One long and painful explanation that you heard from the first fic later...

"...So. Do we have a deal? Speak one at a time and feel free not to hold back the answer." Sir finished.

I was ready to hit him. Yes, I was aware there was some kind of 'great evil' in the air but I couldn't be sure. However, I couldn't get past the fact that we were in SPACE and Sir basically forced them into contract by trancing them all.

That or the continuity of this series is REALLY bad. Kinda like a bad comic book plot or a bad sequel.

Twilight first spoke. "You promise the safety and return of me and my friend Fluttershy? Because if you do, then the payment will be appreciated. It feels awfully generous that you would donate much to Ponyville and still manage to have me keep in touch with everyone in my universe."

Sir chuckled approvingly. "That I shall promise. And Fluttershy, your animals are doing well. I sent a medi-drone to take care of that."

Wait, we had a medi-drone? Nevermind. I'm still going to ask him how he got all this tech.

Fluttershy smiled. "Thank you, Sir."

The dragon, who's name was Basil, shook hands with Sir. "It's a deal!" he said in a deep voice.

Discord just shrugged and shook as well. "Well, this give me something to so." he stated. "And who knows, maybe it'll be FUN!"

He said that last part in front of Megatron, who glared.

Then Finn spoke. "Will I see Jake and the rest of my buds again?" he asked, concerned.

Sir leaned in and said "Rest assured, hero. They have been notified. I will admit. Their words began harsh towards me but the promise of supplies for Ooo made them understand that this is indeed noble. Besides, you can leave anytime you want after viewing the movie of the week."

Finn shook hands with him. "It's a deal, man!"

Sir shooke his head. "Please. Call me Sir." Finn shrugged.

The vampire, Marceline, still looked pretty miffed at the thought of being tricked. Sir walked over to her with caution in his steps. "Madame Abadeer-"

"I don't want to hear it." she snapped as she then said "I'm nobody's slave. Besides, what's really in this for me?"

Sir thought for a moment before replying "Take your pick. Assorted red items or endorsement for your band. I do believe they were called The Scream Queens. Loud but enough to fit my taste. My brother, especially."

She looked at me and I just shrugged and said "Just roll with it. Not much anyone can do anyways."

She appeared to roll her eyes. Couldn't blame her. Then she had a sly grin. "How 'bout both?" she asked deviously.

Sir sighed. "You bring a heavy bargain towards me. Very well." They shook it.

Next came Mothra, who, having already heard what lies in store for she and Godzilla (food), she immediately shook hands with Sir.

She then she said "I'll be the best teammate I can be! Just promise me Fairy will be okay."

Sir looked concerned as he said "Ah, your daughter. I see. Do not worry. She is in good hands."

Meanwhile on Monster Island....

"So when is mommy coming back?" Fairy innocently asked Varan and Baragon.

"Well," Varan began. "I'm sure she'll be back soon. Hehe. Right Baragon?"

The other monster just whispered in Varan's ear. "This is gonna be painful."

"Yeah," Varan agreed. "I know."

Back to the spot we randomly left for an assurance scene...

Megatron still looked hesitant to speak as he just glared at nothing, like it would do him any good.

"Lord," Sir wisely began. "I assure you. I have the best energon I can find. It will be yours if you do not attack this household."

Megatron thought for a moment before he replied "Promise me that and much more, and I shall concede with your terms."

Sir shook his hand as he said "Then it is settled."

Finally, Freeze was next but he then pointed his freeze gun at Sir. "Where is she?!" Freeze yelled.

Sir, confused, said "Who?"

"NORA!" Freeze answered angrily. "Where is my snow angel?!?! She needs me!"

Sir placed a hand on Freeze's shoulder and said "Victor, your wife is being heavily guarded by a Gargoyle unit. They are powerful machines that could bring down anyone who disturbs your peace in your absence."

Freeze thought for a moment and said, still pointing the gun, "The money will do nicely but I warn you...if any harm comes towards her...let's just say my heart is cold enough to ignore your cries for mercy."

They shook it as Sir nodded in agreement.

Sir clapped his hands. "Alright, I am very hall that we are in full agreement. Now remember your team members! Z-Squared shall escort you to your rooms."

I was glad that Sir still had his manners but seriously. WHERE DOES HE GET THE PAYMENT FOR ALL OF-

"Oh, brother. I should remind you that this is all donated to me by...NoRockUmHardSein. He is an odd entity but he was open to give me this on the site known as EBay for the lowest price. Happy?"

Hot damn. I forgot he could read minds. Or something. I don't know. Still, what kind of person would give all this away? I decided to drop the subject, but then I got even more confused.

I was thinking 'How come this was cheap?' 'Were there any other bidders?' and most importantly 'Who is NoRockUmHardSein?'

I carried out the task with ease but Megatron glanced over and said "Be careful, human. I just might snap. Hehehehehe."

Jesus. I need a glass of water.

(Godzilla 2000's POV)

This was gonna be painful.

I'm stuck in a room with a human and a creature meant to appeal to girls. Little girls. How could I not feel awkward?! I just twiddled my thumbs hoping the silence between us would last. I ask too much, don't I?

"Soooo...." Finn began. "What's your story, Big G?"

I shot up upon hearing that nickname. "Excuse me?" I glared.

He backed a little and said "Sorry, man, but Godzilla 2000 is kind of a mouthful. Plus, you're huge! Not fat, but still."

I rolled my eyes and said "Alright. Knock yourself out. You can call me that."

The name was my least insulting nickname. Trust me. There were plenty of others that get people introduced to my fists.

Twilight looked at me and Finn quizzically. "I'll have to say, I've never seen a human or a...dragon like you, before."

I leaned over to her and remarked "Look, I'm not a dragon, okay? What made you think that?"

Twilight replied "Sorry, it's just that you resemble my friend, Spike. What are you, exactly?"

I decided a little story time couldn't hurt. I told them I was a mutated Godzillasaur but then I went into the general details of my bloodline. From 1954's devastating rampage to the end of the Final Wars. I wasn't very specific, so I guess they thankfully didn't hear the part when Tristar ruined me.

When I was finished, well, to say they looked uncomfortable was quite the underestimate.

Twilight first spoke. "You mean you murdered so many just because you were upset?! Granted, most of it was accidental but...did you at least care?!"

I scowled as I replied "What? And let them come over to me and unleash all their weaponry? Heck, I put my guard down and they soon imprisoned me and my pals on an island!"

Twilight shook her head. "Sigh. I don't know how those humans think, Godzilla, but did you at least apologize?"

I got annoyed and said "They don't understand Kaiju language. It wouldn't work."

Finn then got up to me and said "Look, I don't know if I should slay you or feel sorry for you, considering that freeze cannon they shot at you, but come on! Have a heart!"

I shook my head as I grasped it and said "AUGH! Enough with the guilt trip! Can't we discuss this later?"

They all nodded reluctantly. "Good." I said. "What's your story, Twi?"

The unicorn's story wasn't exactly the girly stuff I expected. There was demonic forces, killer wildlife, and insane amounts of action during that part about the royal wedding. I was somewhat impressed, especially when I heard about the brothers known as Azazel and Rick, but the stuff about friendship was getting lame. Finn agreed with me on that part.

Then he told his tale.

When he was finished, my eyes were bulging out and my mouth hung open. Twilight looked stunned. I mean, holy crap. I did NOT expect that from this kid. There was nuclear armageddon, insanity, perverted goblins, maniacal hearts, undead monstrosities, a major ***hole named Lemongrab, Abraham Lincoln being the king of Mars, and enough broken hearts to end valentines day forever.

"Wow." I gawked. "That was both awesome and terrifying at the same time."

I felt a smile crawl on my face as I said "You've got serious balls, kid." He looked confused but he accepted the compliment.

Twilight dropped from the top bunk (the rooms were standard with a window, a toaster oven, and 2 bunk beds) and stated "I'm going to look around the place for a while. I need to clear my head."

Me and Finn shrugged. "Go right ahead." We said simultaneously. That caused some confusion.

Who cares? At least I haven't got dumber. Except maybe from the details about Pinkie Pie, of course.

(Marceline's POV)

Yep. Life can take you to many weird places. Like now.

I'm in a room with a small Pegasus, a dragon, and a large moth about my size. Not the weirdest thing ever but it came awfully close. I decided to break the ice by saying "So. Wanna talk for a while?"

The dragon, Basil, suggested "I think we should get to know eachother. After all, we are a team now, right?"

I shrugged and agreed.

I told them about how Ooo was made but I decided to keep some...personal info about me shut. I just told them my childhood wasn't much. What I did tell them was how I met Finn and Jake, the times we had, and even a little about my band. As for the rest, I just told you. I'm a little TOUCHY with some details.

Mothra and Fluttershy were glad I didn't suck blood but Basil reared up and said "Look, when I sleep, don't get any funny ideas about sucking on me."

I winked and said "You don't have to worry. Though, I don't exactly keep promises..."

Fluttershy then glared at me and, for a moment, I did kinda feel what little blood was in me chill.

Basil and Fluttershy told us about them. Basil lived in a cave and Fluttershy lived with a bunch of ponies. Ugh. The first time they met was when Basil was larger and smoking the whole land up. Fluttershy had to scold him before an agreement was struck. However, a dragon named Rick decided to play matchmaker and, well it was a long story but Basil and Fluttershy were eventually deeply in love and they lived in a cottage since. Not too mushy but good grief. Mothra looked very interested, though.

Mothra's story wasn't all that good, either. Her list of grandmas and relatives was long and they always ended up dying, getting blown up, or disappearing. Her fight with some butt named Gigan was pretty cool. She still lived even after getting burned up.

After that was over, I got out my axe-bass and strummed a few tunes. The others fell asleep but then again, that was the desired effect. I decided to blow off some steam and hit the sack as well. With the promise of food and endorsement, how could anything go wrong?

Well, if your not me, a whole lot...hehe...

(Megatron's POV)

How low has this knight put me?

I had been captured and tricked into reviewing human movies with 2 idiots who could not tell a blaster gun from a chew toy thanks to this deal. I could have blasted him but his power outmatched mine. I could only hope that the energon was guaranteed.

Oh, look at the mighty Megatron. Completely helpless because of a creature I have yet to slay when his power is no-more. I hope that day comes quick.

The chimera named Discord then slithered to me and asked "Say, Megs, mind telling us about yourself? It's getting pretty lame here."

I turned to him and yelled "Adress me as LORD Megatron, imbecile!"

He looked taken back but he then smiled. I was starting to hate it. "Come on. It's a cute name. Tell us about yourself. You seem like an interesting guy."

Hmmm. I supposed impressing them would cool me down. I told them of my exploits as a Decepticon leader and even some of my past as a gladiator unjustly turned down by the council of Primes.

When I finished with a smile, Freeze gave me a hand gesture that signified gratitude and said "COOL story! The way you annihilated those metal beasts was impressive."

Discord looked content. "Meh. Average origin story." I grimaced at what he said.

Discord then told his tale. His past, he would not say, but he did explain his...odd but effective way of taking over the land of Equestria. Deceit. The way of a Decepticon. He would have been useful on my side. Annoying, but useful. Still, being defeated by friendship was pathetic. And then came his redemption. Humph. The creature was a fool to be moved by such a weak and feeble creature.

Freeze then recounted his tale and it was okay, at the very least. He fought for what he believed in, never letting anything stop him but for the sake of a human femme? Odd. Humans are strange creatures but their unity in bonding is impressive.

Discord went to Freeze and said "Lucky you. At least your love life is more successful then mine. The hottest mare I know probably hates me right now. Plus, she got banished to the moon at one point. For 1000 years, no less." None of us looked into that.

I soon got in front of them and proclaimed "From now on, I make the rules. Follow my commands and you shall be rewarded but if you betray me...so help me, you will end up like this lamp." I soon slashed the lamp with my arm blade clean in half.

They looked impressed but Discord shrugged and said "Big deal. I know magic."

I smiled and said "Have you forgotten? Sir did mention something about your magic being toned down quite a bit." He looked flabbergasted.

It feels so good being in control, doesn't it?

(Z-Squared's POV)

While Godzilla's team was reviewing Jack and the Beanstalk from 1902, I wondered. Is there any hope left for them? I sure hoped so.

Because this was gonna be a long trip...

Author's Note

Welp, still a bit subpar, but trust me...it gets better.

Cast:

Sir and Z Squared-Themselves
Godzilla 2000-Patrick Siez
Twilight Sparkle-Tara Strong
Finn-Jeremy Shada
Megatron-Frank Welker
Discord-John De Lancie
Mr. Freeze-Arnold Schwarzenegger
Marceline-Olivia Olsen
Fluttershy-Andrea Libman
Basil-Billy Zane
Mothra-Christina Valenzuela

Music:

Sir's Space Castle-Onett from Super Smash Bros Brawl
Freakout-Bodies (Instrumental) from Drowning Pool
Monster Island-Gurudo Valley from Super Smash Bros Brawl
Rooms-Wii Shop Theme
Credits Theme-Night Falls from Tekken Tag Team Tournament 2

Only Sir Cinemacus, Z-Squared, and the castle belong to me. Okay. Now, it's just a headquarters. Just work with me.

See you soon!