RT Ep.3: Bieber Fever

by MasterOfNintendo

Scream as Loud as You Can! Finn Vs. Voodoo Justin!

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Previously on the Review Team,

After a crappy first episode, Cinemacus advances the plot by having Z-Squared bear witness to his mad but possibly justifiable plan to preserve cinema by using a "Review Team" to help out. Everyone has gotten accustomed to each other (more or less) but soon, in the room of Marceline's team...

"Yeah, if I had a childhood crush, his teeth would be falling out by now!" laughed said Vampire Queen.

Tonight, she and the girls decided to have a little bit of a bonding experience by doing the usual stuff. Gossip and sharing some hilarious banter were just a few of the things. The boys, meanwhile, were still sleeping. Well, some if you don't count Discord. He was too busy decorating the place with upside-down daffodils. Don't ask.

"Okay, that was...a bit much." Mothra replied to that last comment. "Now, I was thinking we could play this human game they call 'Truth or Dare'. I heard it sounded fun but I was just wondering if any of you are interested."

"I'm not sure. That sounds a bit too...intrusive." Fluttershy said.

"She's kind of right. I don't see the appeal in any of that." Twilight said.

Marceline just groaned. "Oh, loosen up and live a little, will you? The moth's right. A nice Truth or Dare might spice things up." Mothra looked as if she was smiling.

"Alright, me first." Marceline said. "I choose truth, Mothra. Do you hate humans?"

Mothra looked started. "Wh-wh-what?! Why would you think that? Yes, I know they can do some bad things...terrible things...but there's always hope for them! Did you just ask that because I live with Godzilla most of the time?" Marceline just shrugged.

Twilight looked at the vampire. "Can I go next?"

"Sure." Marceline replied.

"Okay," Twilight began. "I choose truth, as well. If you're a vampire, how come I see you go out in the sunlight, Marceline?"

Marceline began to ponder. "Look, don't look at me like I'm suicidal. I just bring myself a nice hat or a parasol. Works every time."

Fluttershy raised her hoof. "I'd like to go next."

SLAM!

"GIRLS, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!" Z-Squared had burst into the room in an apparently ecstatic state. He looked excited about something but he suddenly looked embarrassed when he saw the shocked expressions on the girls. "Oh, sorry."

"Z-Squared, what is it?" Twilight asked, looking like she needed an answer.

Z-Squared just leaned in. "I'm so glad you asked..."

Marceline rolled her eyes. "Suddenly, we're not." she said.

"But ya' will be!" Z-Squared countered. "Come with me!" he beckoned.

"Maybe some other time?" Mothra suggested about the game they were playing.

"Definitely." Fluttershy nodded.

They later arrived at the monitor room where everyone had their eyes glued to the large television screen. It showed a news story about Justin Bieber being arrested for drag racing in a manner that could have harmed someone. Worse, he was driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol. As is that wasn't enough, he was acting smug about the whole ordeal. The Team just looked and they're reactions were varied.

"So, humanity finally grew another brain cell. I'm actually impressed." Godzilla 2000 said.

"Baby? What kind of a song title is that?" Finn questioned.

"That machine he's using...it does look like it could hurt someone." Twilight observed.

"Serves the guy right. I heard his music and, well, no amount of brain bleach is gonna help me forget it" Marceline smirked.

"Like I said. Humans can do some irresponsible things." Mothra said.

"Are you sure he wasn't drinking apple cider?" Fluttershy asked.

"Uh, on Earth, they have beer." Basil corrected, hearing the part about the drinks.

"How the mighty fall. Hehehehehe." Megatron chuckled.

"Geez, tell the kid to grow up." Discord snarked.

"E tu, Discord?" Mr. Freeze replied.

"Alright, everyone calm down." Sir beckoned. "I know this is a joyous event for some of you and a confusion for others, but I just wanted to watch the news. I did not expect such outcry over a simple child being led the wrong direction."

"Are you kidding?!" Z-Squared countered. "This is Justin Bieber we're talking about! The guy's been getting worse and worse not just with music, but with his whole attitude ever since his balls dropped. And don't get me started on Mistletoe..."

Sir put his hand on Z-Squared's shoulder and replied "Calm yourself. Maybe he will show remorse in prison. The most we can do is return to our business. Agreed?"

Everyone decided he was right, but Discord teleported in front of the T.V. "Oh, come on! I can already see the faces of all those fans everywhere!" He then turned into a creature resembling Golum but with Bieber attire. "We wants the bieber! We wants him back! We likes the music! LIKES!"

Sir zapped him with a lighting spell and shouted "ENOUGH! I cannot believe how rude that was! Not all of his fans are crazy and delusional. Some just want someone to look up to or they just like the music. Understand?"

Discord rolled his eyes and scoffed "Whatever, you geezer."

Meanwhile in a dark warehouse...

"As you know, our beloved has fallen for the dark forces of alcohol. We must have him back. Or else...we have no other purpose in life."

A mysterious hooded man had spoken. He held a golden staff that had the word 'BABY' on top. "We exist to show the world that Bieber's legacy will not be kept the dark corners of the prison cell. It will live through another person. One of Bieber's own flesh and blood."

"But leader! Are you sure this whole voodoo mumbo jumbo is gonna work?" asked one member.

"Of course, you twit. Our love for Bieber will create one for ourselves! He will sing, pose, and look cute in front of us whenever we tell him to! It'll be glorious! All we need is some human blood, this skull I picked up on the way here, a lock of our idol's glorious hair, and this doll made to fit his likeness. The perfect ingredients!" The cultist exclaimed.

Yes, you read that right. They were going to make a new Justin Bieber out of materials used for voodoo practice. All of them were intended for a sinister looking cauldron. And don't ask what was that weird purple stuff was bubbling in it.

"Place them in!" The cultists all shouted as such was done. The cauldron began to swirl, turn, and shake violently as noxious gases erupted from it.

"Praise the anti-water bottle Gods! Praise them!" shouted the fanatical leader and his subjects.

However, instead of a pure white hand devoid of puberty, out came a wrinkled hand with 3 long sharp claws that seemed eager to rake human flesh.

"By Usher, what is that unholy thing?!" One cultists cried in terror as the being rose to reveal its form.

Its hair was disheveled and there was some sort of purple haze coming out of its eyes. The being soon stood up and it was even worse to behold. The eyes were yellow with that same purple haze. The feet were a deformed mismatch of clawed and hoofed form, the rib cage was showing with a red aura where the organs should have been, the arms were long and almost deprived of flesh, and it seemed to only speak in a hiss.

"Whoops! I used purple goop to mend the materials for the doll together! Silly me!" One member slapped his head in embarrassment.

Before we could get into any more banter, the beast let out a shriek that could shatter glass. The words "baby" and "mistletoe" could be vaguely made out. Not that anyone would, as the noise blew up everyone's heads as they screamed in agony. The beast seemed like it was in a perpetual state of rage as it screamed some more incoherent Bieber song lyrics, this time shattering the walls. It ran off into the sunlight...

...seeking a goal: let all souls hear his beautiful voice!

Meanwhile in the Review Team Headquarters...

"Okay," Marceline said. "Lets try this again." Once again, she was trying to continue her truth-or-dare moment with the girls in peace without having to hear about some whiny git.

"Okay," Fluttershy said. "I guess it's my turn. I choose...dare. I dare that Mothra tries to wiggle her antennae." All the girls turned their heads towards her.

"Ummm..." Mothra began. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Fluttershy smiled as she replied "Well, it's easy. All you have to do is scrunch up your head and focus on your antennae. It's hard but I think you can do it."

Twilight then spoke. "Fluttershy, antennae don't work that way. Mothra, I don't think it's wise to t-"

Much to her shock, Mothra was doing just that. "Nevermind." she corrected herself.

Meanwhile in a random news station...

Chaos. Just pure chaos. This abomination born of voodoo was terrorizing a local news station, desperate for all to hear him, only for the dead body amount to grow higher. There were many corpses, all with blown up heads. Some even had slash marks after they attempted to stop him. The beast found a recording station that seemed operational...

...and several T.Vs were affected. No-one was dying but there was a sheer amount of annoyance being brought out of it. Not to mention that only a handful of suburban people had to bear witness to the bloody carnage left behind in the background. No one called the police because they were either too far away or just plain scared...or idiots, depending on your train of thought.

Meanwhile (again!) in Review Team Headquarters...

Twilight was scratching her head. "I don't know...truth or dare...which one?"

"BABYBABYBABYOHHHHBABYBABYBABYOHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"UGH! Where's that racket coming from?!" Marceline demanded to know as the other girls covered their ears. The sound just kept getting worse and worse until Z-Squared burst into the room yet again.

"Hey, I don't mean to spoil your fun again, but you might be asking what's making that abominable noise."

"NO DUH!" Marceline shouted over the noise. Everyone was soon rushing over to the Television once again. What the saw shocked them. It was a horrible creature screaming horrible Bieber related song lyrics over the mic.

"S#*# just got real." Godzilla said.

Sir, who was covering his helmet in annoyance, yelled "UGH! REMEMBER WHEN I SAID FOR EVERYONE TO CALM DOWN?! WELL, CALL ME A HYPOCRITE BUT I SIMPLY WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TO TRANSPIRE! Z-SQUARED! READY THE TELEPORTER!"

"I don't mean to interrupt your tirade." replied an un-amused Megatron. "But when did we start defending Earth from threats? I don't see the point of helping these humans. Yeah. Sue me."

"Well, it does liven up the day." argued Discord. "Why don't we send a human of our own?" He looked at Finn when he said that.

"Me? Defeat monsters? Sign me up!" Finn said.

Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. At least the cameras would be on this fight. "Actually, Discord," Sir began. "This could be fun."

Finn hopped into the teleporter with sword in hand, but then Z-Squared tossed him a helmet. "Here. I think you shall need this. It's able to blot out all sound. I used it during the first Red Scare to blot out any communist signals."

"You do realize those were nothing but over-glorified witch hunts, right?" Mr. Freeze inquired.

"The point is.." Sir interrupted. "Keep your eyes on the enemy."

Finn smiled and nodded in agreement. However, the moment he was reduced to particles in the teleporting process, the machine went dark.

"Ah, crap." Z-Squared face palmed. "The teleporter is defective as hell. Who did that?" He looked at Sir and for the first time, Sir looked quite silly.

Meanwhile at the studio...

The creature was starting to get bored singing in the same station, as evidenced by an actual sigh. He need to spread his words to everyone across the globe, even if it meant annihilating everyone in his path.

(Lyrics correspond with text above, line by line)

ZWIT! Whatever that sound was that the creature heard, it didn't sound good. It hissed a bit more as it slinked into the shadows.

Dad's stuck in the factory, machines are banging all around

"Huh. Looks like one of those conventions Ooo had a week ago." Finn looked around the room. "Then again, Sir's got a bit more. So, no biggie." He continued to look around.

Momma's stuck in the kitchen. She's got the radio on all the time...

"Maybe I should put this helmet on." Finn looked at his new trinket. "So far, this guy's kinda sneaky."

My little sister's screaming, and she's stamping on the ground

Behind him, though, the familiar shape of the Voodoo Justin creature began to rise and open its mouth...

And the radio keeps pumpin' out the same old boring sound!

Finn suddenly felt a surge of pain hitting his ears. He screamed and screamed as the yell continued to hit his eardrums. You could say that's what you get when you don't listen to elders.

ALL I HEAR IS NOISE!

"MUST...GET...HELMET!!!" Finn, with all his strength, grasped the helmet and stuck it on his head. "Much better." He smiled.

CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THE NOISE!

The creature was staring to grow angry at this boy. That thing on his head must be interrupting the noise it thought was cleansing the minds of all those who heard it for at least a second. It stopped shrieking long enough to use its claws to deflect an incoming sword.

CAN YOU HEAR ME ABOVE THE NOISE?!

CLANG! CLANG! The sword kept hitting the claws as the creature was intent on murdering this...this...impure being!

CANYACANYACANYACANYACANYA HEAR ME?! CAN YOU HEAR THE NOISE!?

The creature then jumped backwards and landed on a giant piece of wood. It hissed loudly in anger.

Noise...

Finn readied his battle stance as the creature jumped at him.

CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THE NOISE!

This time, the creature got a direct hit on Finn's chest. Finn gave out a small scream from the pain, but he would not fall.

Noise...

Finn leaped after the agile beast and suddenly, the creature was right in front of him, eyes full of hate and spite.

CAN YOU HEAR ME ABOVE THE NOISE?!

"GAH! NOPE DODGE!" Finn said as he managed to avoid its bite and slash again, this time decapitating one of its arms.

Noise...

The monster howled in pain, but it with a powerful kick, the hero was knocked off back onto the ground. "Okay. Change of plans." He got out his crossbow and loaded it with spare ammo.

CANYACANYACANYACANYACANY HEAR ME?!

Finn kept firing but the creature kept leaping from one place to the other. "Times like this, I wish I had backup!" He groaned as he tried to land a hit. As luck would have it, one of the arrows managed to hit one of its legs. The creature screamed as it fell to the ground.

Banging in my ears! In every direction! Listen to the rock! Dude, that's sick. Hummin', hummin'

The creature realized it was on its last legs (no pun intended). It was charging up its throat to let out the shriek that would rival all shrieks. "You done, yet? I could be doing this all day!" Finn said.

I hear it aloft. 'Hey buddy! Turn that radio down!'

The thing then opened its mouth and all hell broke loose.

Sometimes I get used to it and forget that it's around!

The shriek almost blew Finn away as the building around them started to crumble from all the pressure. Finn stuck his sword into the ground and held on tight as the shriek got more and more shrill, which was something like this: "BABYBABYBABYOHHHHH!!!!!!!"

ALL I HEAR IS NOISE! Noise...

Finn, with the courage that only the best could hope for, started to walk towards the beast, even as his helmet started to crack.

CAN'T GET AWAY FROM NOISE! Noise...

"BABYBABYBABYOHHHHDKJDSLKJLKSDJLKSDJFLKDSJFLKJD-HUH?!"

CAN YOU HEAR ME ABOVE THE NOISE?! Noise...

The shrieking stopped. The creature had just realized it blew out its voicebox with all the noise it made. Struggling to enlighten the being more with its voice, it kept trying to shriek but to no avail...

...and by 'no avail', I meant Finn slashed its head right off. The body convulsed for a while before it started to disintegrate into nothing. Finn smiled as he took off his helmet.

"Should have used your indoor voice." He joked as he was suddenly teleported back.

A few minutes later at a local news station...

"Good evening, folks. This is Randallom News reporting from the wreckage of a local news station. In this place, several gruesome murders occurred. All victims were found with either claw marks or their heads blown up. The cameras that were still operating, however, caught the culprit: a strange demonic figure that various people across Texas heard say caused a stream of annoyance on live TV. They also say the beast was brought down by some cartoon character from the critically acclaimed series Adventure Time. More news will be shown upon further investigation."

Back at the Review Team Headquarters...

Sir clapped his hands in front of Finn. "Congragulations, Mertens. You truly showed your worth defeating such an opponent! You avenged the murder of several dozen people and ended that horrendous noise. If only I had a medal."

Finn just shrugged. "It was nothing. I mean, he was kinda tough but not too much. By the way, sorry about the helmet." He pointed to the cracked and busted piece of headgear next to him.

Z-Squared chuckled. "We can always make a new one. Besides, I made it out of paranoia. Consider this burying the past. Anyway, nice work out there but...Godzilla, take it away."

Godzilla looked at Finn and scowled. "Look, nice job, but you could have done without that stupid pun at the end!"

"Admit it! It was funny!" Finn said defensively.

As the two argued, the girls just looked at each-other.

"As riveting as this is, I say we call it a night." Twilight said.

"Agreed." Mothra said. "My eyes are getting a bit heavy."

"I mean, what that goofball did there kinda made my day." Shrugged Marceline. Thus, they went to their respective rooms.

Later that night...

Z-Squared knocked on Team Marceline's door. "Hey, I just want to say something before I hit the sack."

The team leader opened the door, wearing nothing more then some sweats and a tank-top. "Yeah? What is it?"

Z-Squared looked uneasy and said " I just wanted to apologize about ruining your night with the girls. I have a hunch that you all were enjoying it."

Marceline smiled reassuringly and countered "Nah, you don't need to apologize. It was getting a little boring REALLY fast."

Z-Squared smiled "Good to know. Now lets get some rest. I heard that Sir wants us to look at Frankenstein 1910 next week. It feels shoehorned, yeah, but life's life when Sir's around. See ya!"

"Same." Marceline said as he closed the door.

Sir was looking out the window. This was his form of sleeping. After all, he was a living suit of armor. Then, he felt a disturbance in the air. Someone was calling him...

Someone he swore he would never, for any reason, meet with again...


Author's Note

Warning: The following you just read should NOT be taken as a hate fic against Bieber himself and this is not meant to capitalize on his arrest. This is just for the fun of it and it seems to fit well in parodying Frakenstein (1910), although this only takes few elements from that film in question. Not much of a parody as it is a homage. Whatevs. Also, I don't mean to anger a whole fandom that I don't represent. The point is, please be civil about any complaints you may have and I will see to it that I apologize. This is just a normal fanfic, not a hate crime. Oh, and no POVs. Those got old.

Cast:

Sir and Z Squared-Themselves
Godzilla 2000-Patrick Siez
Twilight Sparkle and News Announcer-Tara Strong
Finn-Jeremy Shada
Megatron-Frank Welker
Discord-John De Lancie
Mr. Freeze-Arnold Schwarzenegger
Marceline-Olivia Olsen
Fluttershy-Andrea Libman
Basil-Billy Zane
Mothra-Christina Valenzuela
Crazy Belieber Cult-Some whiny people across the street

Music:

Girls Night Out-Trophy Gallery from Super Smash Bros Brawl
The Warehouse-Kai from One Punch Man
Voodoo Justin's Rampage-Krystalak's Theme from Godzilla Unleashed
Vs. Voodoo Justin-Noise from The Kinks
The Disturbance in the Air-Gigan's theme from Godzilla Unleashed
Credits Theme-Night Falls from Tekken Tag Team Tournament 2

Nothing except Sir, Z-Squared, and Voodoo Justin belong to me.

See you Soon!