Chickens and Mallows

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Fourteen: Конвенція

Our first step into the open, but not so fresh air was relieving to say the least. I'd never felt so relaxed before in my entire life, and since everything has slipped my mind, I-

...my God…

I've completely lost everything in replacement for fame. My part time job has been taken, I'm very behind in my Uni work. Eh, well, take a bullet for the team.

I continue walking down the road with Alex and Milos, and the Crusaders and their older sisters trail behind. I can hear the snapping of photography from the distance, but nothing’s gonna stop me now!

After a twenty minute walk, we reach the convention building, and a massive surge of cheer and applaud engulfs our ears. I've never been this cheered before by people I don't know. Then again why would people, from out of some kind of blue (heheheheh), just start cheering me if I weren't famous in this town, hmm?

Anyways, so there I was, standing at the entrance to the building, being applauded by a bunch of who I presume are bronies, and soon a wave of autograph signings took place. I signed this kids shirt which had a picture of Scootaloo on the front, and she signed it too. A lot of paper wad signed, and some images and gifts were received by the gang. For now, we will not go into details of these gifts because there may be complications…

After signing a bunch of people's stuff, we walk to the ticket stand, present our tickets, and walk to our panel room to set up. Tables were set at the front of the room, with all the special technology, like a projector, microphones, and nine seats behind the tables laid out. Rows upon rows of chairs are sat in front of the panel, around 500, if I were to make a guess on this spot.

After about an hour of clearing up, me and Alex went off to get some drinks for everyone, as the panel started in around 30 minutes. We found a shop selling many drinks inside, I bought a Pepsi, Alex bought a 7Up, we bought Milos a Banana Yazoo (milkshake beverage), and a fuck ton of water for the girls.

We arrived and all hid backstage, as we could hear a crowd already collecting. I went to the announcer and panel host to announce me, Scoot, and Dash as one part, Alex, Sweetie, and Rarity after, then Milos, AppleBloom, and AJ last (but not least).

So the host of the panel, who went by the name of Andy McLean, went up on stage. “Welcome to the panel.” he blurted, obviously meaning he had nothing to say. “I am with three famous men and six famous ponies from our fandom, and we shall get running.” he checks with the technician if everything is operating before going on to introduce us.

“Firstly, we have the man, the Dead Man Walking, the Dane, Brendan Andersen!”

I begin to clap and walk on.

I trip, and the crowd, though concerned, begin to laugh.

…

I mumble profanity under my breath and turn to the crowd. “It always happens! It may be a first time at a convention, but it always happens!”

The crowd begin to laugh and applaud my wackiness. I sit down and speak up.

“So I'm the Dead Man Walking huh? Well, this Dead Man has two fine mares along with him, obviously. You've seen us on our way here, and now is about time to, er, officially, yeah, officially introduce them to this brilliant community. First up. I bring Scootaloo.”

The aforementioned pony trots onto the panel stage and takes the seat beside me. The crowd starts clapping when she sits down. “And for my other mare, the one who actually beat me to a bloody pulp. In a twisted way, if she didn't almost murder me, this wouldn't happen. Rainbow Dash! Come on down!” I announce in a cheesy way.

She flies on and flips over the crowd before landing on her seat. With a slight smile bring to his face, Andy sits down.

“Now for the next man, the Ukrainian Gift, Oleksandr Zelenko!” he struggles to pronounce his name, but swiftly disregards.

Alex walks on casually amongst the audiences applause and goes you the mic. “The name is pronounced, ‘O-leks-an-dr Ze-len-ko, thanks.” He takes a seat. “Ukrainian Gift brings two gifts,” he simiarly announces, “First gift! Small unicorn. I-

...eh for fuck with it, Sweetie Belle!”

Another applaud as Sweetie walks on stage and takes her seat.

“Second gift!” he holds two fingers out, “Big unicorn. Sister of small unicorn. Rarity.” he blankly announces.

Glamorously, she trots onto the stage and carefully makes way to her seat.

Andy clears his throat. “Now we’ve had the two from Liverpool. It's about time for the one from Newcastle to come out. Milos Novaković!”

Milos walks on stage, and differently, AJ and her sister are following him.

“You didn't announce them formally,” I turn.

He proves his point: “Announcing them is like telling me that Darth Vader is Luke's father. About everyone knows that.”

“True…” I say.

“So panelists, Andy begins his question, “how did this happen?!”

“Okay. I'll be one to start as not a lot knows what actually happened. So it was a cold day on the Seventeenth of January 2020, about seven months ago… I arrived home from my part-time job and entered the house, where Alex almost had me cut. Not the best way to start your evening, being assaulted by your friend by mistake.”

The crowd laugh slightly.

“Anyways, when I got him to realise it was me, a pan fell from in the kitchen. So me and Alex, him with a knife in hand, went to investigate. When we discovered Scoot and Sweetie sleeping there, we both were stunned...

...stunned to the point where Alex dropped his knife blade first into my left foot. GOOD TIMES!”

The crowd chuckle slightly. I know I'm not good at telling stories, but this is the best I could do.

“So I snapped back into reality, and naturally I screamed in pain…

The fillies hear my scream and begin to stir.

Alex screams and runs into his room.

They have now woken up, and took a good look at me.

They scream.

Alex runs back in with an empty bottle of what was vodka in his hand. He sees them and screams again.

The three of them scream together.

Meanwhile, I'm standing there laughing aloud. They caught onto my laughing and they stopped and turned to me.

I laugh a bit more in a sarcastic tone, before quickly interrupting them from beginning to laugh themselves. “MY BLOODY FOOT!!!”

Boldly, the white one quickly jokes, “Quite literally.”

Alex and I scream together, and he grabs the now empty bottle and smashes it on his head.

They scream at our screaming.

...so once that little weird moment happened, Alex cleared his head, got me a flannel and we continued on  with our day. Sweetie seemed accustomed to jumping up and down on Alex’s bed.”

Sweetie blushes slightly and Alex quickly adds, “She still does…”

The crowd let out an ‘awwwww’ before going somewhat silent again.

“I don't know how Scoot and I got so close, but I'm guessing to was where we SPOKE FOR ABOUT AN ENTIRE NIGHT!” My sudden outburst makes the crowd slightly shocked, but me and Scoot are laughing, along with the panel.

“So after that we went up to the hospital, shamefully with the fillies in Alex’s bag-” I began to start before Sweetie interrupts.

“It smells atrocious in there, so don't go in Alex’s bag. It was pretty weird, right Scoot?”

“It was, yeah,” she agrees.

“So then they began to speak in the hospital in impatience, and we stormed home, where I gave a helluva rant. We then went to bed and the whole love element between Scoot and I began there.” I turn and ruffle Scoot’s mane and she giggles a bit.

“The next morning it escalated like a lift from there. I won't need to give details. Why would I? Ain't that personal?” I joke.

The crowd started applauding slightly.

“So after I go back to bed, and then Little Miss Rainbow ‘Bloodthirsty’ Dash comes along.”

“Well I thought you were hurting her, so I did what I did back then.”

“But if I hadn't have been so personal with Scoot then I'd be dead.”

“You're joking…” she doubts.

“I had a broken arm and leg, a ripped left knee, a ruptured vein, and I was choking on blood. Would that kill you if you did not know that was happening to you?” I explain fully.

The crowd gasp at the condition I was thrown into by Rainbow, a she apologises once again.

I let it slide.

Andy comes back to Milos and asks for his story.

He thinks for a moment, “Well…”