Chickens and Mallows

by RB101Official

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Romance
Length: 19923

When the mundane life of two teens get invaded by two little fillies, life becomes just that little bit harder. And they say ponies aren't difficult to care for...

"Who can say where the road goes?"

Brendan Andersen is a complicated university student, stuck in a city he would've never thought he'd be in. At least his roommate is his closest, if not his only friend, Oleksandr Zelenko. These two nineteen year old kids are thrown into fate with a bang…

…well, it's more of the dropping of pans that throws them into this crazy coincidence…

…coincidence? Nononooo that is definitely not it. Brendan has been thrown into this alongside his friend Alex…

…or rather, I have been thrown into this alongside my friend Alex.

Life. You've given us a hard time already… Can't we just relax? It's all we ask for. We did nothing wrong…

Rated teen for some swearing (though attempted to be made minimal, it has to be used in certain places), and for some mild innuendos. (None is described, but it is hinted.)

The first like is through a mis-click; a fault of my own. Liking your own produce is something that shouldn't be done, and because it is irreversible, I have to let it stand. Hey, at least I'm not disliking my own content, right?..

…I should focus on this fiction rather than my idiocy…

I don't have an uploading schedule. I'll just upload Monday mornings, Wednesday mornings, and Saturday mornings (GMT). Technically it is a schedule, but I don't care. I'll just upload the chapters when I feel is necessary. Happy reading!..

…can I say it's happy? Can I say it's reading!?.. :rainbowderp:

NOW COMES WITH FREE THANKS FOR ADDING THIS STORY TO YOUR FAVOURITES!!! :pinkiegasp: Send me a message if you have so that everyone doesn't lose out. Thanks!

Note: A rework is going to be done soon, so that the story drags on a bit more. Thanks to my editor for helping me go through the process of rework. The writing of this version will start in August. Edits won't be released until much later. For now, enjoy what I have made independently.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-06 13:58:40 UTC

1: Coming Back...

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter One: Coming back...

Life goes by in sporadic patterns. One moment you're starting your first day of school, next you've started Secondary, next you've received your GCSE results, next you're walking back to your apartment on the University grounds, from the part-time job you had acquired a month back.

Seriously. Being a worker at ASDA is harder than you think. The hours you get on some days is enough to make you legs turn into jelly. And as everyone knows, jelly cannot support around 75 kilograms, all centered at one point, and it would most likely collapse. I curse the ASDA God for my punishment. Why, Josh, why!?

Okay, for the record, I have no idea how that ASDA thing came to be, but my friends found it funny, and because I work there, I thought it was appropriate. Somewhat historic lessons with the narrator/main character. Woohoo.

Anyway, my name is Brendan, I'm a Uni student at the University of Liverpool, because why not, and I live in a two bedroom apartment on said Uni grounds with my good, and only friend, Oleksandr, or Alex for short. Don't ask me how it works, it just does, okay? We met in Secondary school, in the same class, and despite going off to study two separate things, me looking at Physics and Mathematics, and him looking at History and Modern Politics, we get along quite well, save the shenanigans and debates we have every now and then. I'm actually a brony, yeah, shame me, but I don't really care what others think. Besides, I'm not open about it as much as I was back in school. Alex knows, through the process of me actually telling him back in Year 9, but that doesn't mean he hates me. In fact he supports my decision with the whole ‘do what you want’ approach, so I'm fine with him knowing.

Back to reality, and current events, today is the Seventeenth of January 2020, and I am walking back home from work. I can't say the trip back home was of an exciting experience, but then again I've encountered worse. Then again, it is almost nine in the evening, so I can't really say anything about it, if the only thing you can look at is darkness.

As I step towards the front door, which adorns the number 192 on it, I pull out the keys which reside in my pocket, fumble through said keys to find the one to unlock said door, and I push it into the lock, twisting it clockwise to unlock it.

I swing the door open and the smell of unclean clothing clogs my nose, the small, white hallway, unlit from the rest of the house, and the other junk, sloppily tossed upon the floor, piling up in corners of the room. I place my right foot in first, for it to meet with the beige carpet…

...beige carpet. What else? It's student accommodation. What else do you expect? Bloody cheap-heads, the government. Can't think the best of their future generations...

The carpet is clearly not the focus right now. Trust me, watching paint dry is a better love story than that carpet and my foot, where that story is better than Twilight. Heck. Even this story could be better than that god-awful book…

No intention to offend anyone who actually likes that story.

Anyways, all of the room lights are off, apart from Alex’s room. Of course, he was the only one in the house as of a few moments ago.

I walk further into the house once I had taken off my shoes, and I step into his now open door, and there he is, blond hair, shortly cut, his blue eyes, heavily focused on the computer screen on the desk ahead of him. His headphones are on both of his ears, meaning he hasn't noticed me inside of his room yet. That's all he does, sits at his computer with his much preferred black top and grey trousers of no specific brand in his slouched posture, clicking and modifying things on the screen before him in his black chair. That thing looks bloody comfy, trust me on that.

Then, without looking at me, and unknowingly, like a reflex, his hand darts to the knife that sits on the desk, which I have no idea why it sits there, grabs it, and he leaps out of his chair towards me, and points the point of the knife to my neck. His clearly red eyeballs can tell you instantly that he hasn't enough sleep in years. “You came to the wrong house, fool…” he sternly addresses.

“How can I be in the wrong house if this is my house too?” I ask.

He blinks.

He blinks again.

He blinks for a third time, rubbing his eyelids a bit.

A moment of pause is shared between the two of us,  as we stare at each other in confusion.

“Brendan?”

I nod my head.

He puts two and two together, which obviously makes four. “Oooohhhhhhh… shit I'm sorry man. Thought you were a trespasser, or a criminal.” he apologises.

I take my hand out of my pocket and place it near my head. I respond: “One does not simply mistake his roommate for a criminal.” With that I adjust the glasses on my face, which had been dislodged during his little burst.

We chuckle a little at my statement, before he stops and turns. “How was work?”

“Same old, same old. Stacking things isn't the the most entertaining job you can get. Trust me on that. It's boring as hell.” I answer.

“I'm sure it can't be that bad…”

“Well, try arranging around 100 different cans after staying awake for about 72 hours.”

“That is a hard task to put yourself into.”

“Or in other words, trust me on that.”

“Will do.”

Another moment of silence is passed between the two of us. I honestly have no clue why me and him cannot converse without pauses. It's just how it is. Our mundane lifestyle we have formed for around five years.

The sound of something, most likely a pan, falling to the ground in the kitchen wakes us up.

“What was that?” we simultaneously ask.

He pushes me forward and out of the room. “You first.”

“Woooooow… That was the most reassuring piece of information I have ever received…” I sarcastically respond, “I guess we'll go check it out then.” I start tip-toeing to the kitchen, trying not to make a sound.

Under my breath, I quickly mutter to myself: "What the fuck is going on now?.."

Alex follows behind, his own curiosity getting the better of him, still with his trusty blade in hand, quite literally and metaphorically. I hope it doesn't get in our way.

I slowly and quietly open the kitchen door, with much precaution. What we saw on the other side of said door, we definitely were not expecting...

2: Big Surprises in Little Packages

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Two: Big Surprises in Little Packages

Millions of lies have to be made now that we have discovered this. Now, lying there, are two little horse like thingies. If I remember correctly, these must be ponies, I think. I haven't majorly followed the show that much, but I am aware of who's who, so I think they're two of the fillies…

One was of a orange hue, with a dark magenta-like mane and tail, which are both unkempt and messy, and short eyelashes. She was curled up in a ball-like position, keeping her safe from foreign objects. On the other hand, the other little pony, which was sprawled out a few inches from the orange one, had white fur, a bubbly curly mane and tail, which adorned two different shades of purple, and long eyelashes. This one had a horn upon her head, and the orange one had small and stubby wings, appearing to be unfit for carrying her weight.

A small thought in my mind had made me think that the white one was a marshmallow, and the other like a chicken. I pondered for a bit and decided that they would be their names.

I feel a force push my jaw back into place, and I snap back into reality of Alex standing by my side, now empty handed. Upon this snapping  back, I suddenly feel a very sharp pain in my left foot.

I look down…

...and immediately regret doing so. The knife, which was once firmly gripped in my roommate's hand, is now pointed, point down, through my foot, an inch away from my toes.

I scream in pain.

The fillies hear my scream and begin to stir.

Alex screams and runs into his room.

They have now woken up, and took a good look at me.

They scream.

Alex runs back in with an empty bottle of what was vodka in his hand. He sees them and screams again.

The three of them scream together.

Meanwhile, I'm standing there laughing aloud. They caught onto my laughing and they stopped and turned to me.

I laugh a bit more in a sarcastic tone, before quickly interrupting them from beginning to laugh themselves. “MY FUCKING FOOT!!!”

Boldly, the white one quickly jokes, “Quite literally.”

Alex and I scream together, and he grabs the now empty bottle and smashes it on his head.

They scream at our screaming.

I stop screaming, prompting everyone else's screaming, and I point to my foot again. “It really hurts y’know. I may pass out soon if I don't get it o-AAHHHHH!”

My speech is interrupted by the pegasus, when she, I presume, pulls the knife out of my foot. I have never felt this bad in my life.

This kind of pain I have never experienced, so I could burst into tears, but because I am Brendan, I keep myself from doing so. Blood is spewing everywhere from my left foot, and a few profane words slip outta my mouth. I quickly cover them before I return to trying not to lose anymore blood, by kneeling down and beckoning for a bandage, which the unicorn quickly arrives with.

“Next time something appears outta nowhere,” I wince and complain, “don't bring that freaking knife with you, Alex.”

“I can't keep any promises, Brendan.” he returns.

“Fine. And stop with the bloody bottle thing, you'll start blee-” I begin to say, before I notice a stream of blood pouring down from his head.

“Something the matter?” he asks.

I put my free hand onto my head, and run it towards my forehead, and he copies.

Blood. Lots of it.

“Shit.” he says with a straight face, as he runs to the bathroom to wash the blood, and probably glass out of his head. He then passes me a flannel for my foot, which I put on there once I receive it. It's a shame it's the only one we have in the house, bloody Government.

Soon, one of them had the courage to speak, it being the pegasus. “What are you two?”

“Humans,” Alex answers, “and there are many of them on this planet. We're just two of them, Alex and Brendan.”

“Yep. And who are you two?” I add.

“Oh right,” the unicorn responds, “My name is Sweetie Belle, and that,” she uses her hoof to point to the pegasus, “is Scootaloo.”

“Lesson well learnt.” me and Alex say simultaneously.

“You two friends?” Scootaloo asks.

“Yes we are, Chicken.” I, without thought, tease with a tongue stuck out for emphasis.

“Hey!”

“Affectionate term.” Alex adds blindly, after remembering what used to happen during secondary. Realising what he had just said, he quickly covers his mouth. I simply laugh at his statement and ‘Chicken’s’ reaction: priceless. Goddammit Alex. Sweetie comes out with a “Awwww…” before Scoot approaches me.

“Who you callin’ Chicken, eh?”

I boop her nose, getting the immediate reaction I was expecting: scrunched muzzle and cross-eyed look.

“You.” I grin.

Another “Awwww” is heard.

“No. Stop.” I instruct Sweetie.

“Okay.” she simply replies.

I turn around to whisper to Alex. “That was easier than I thought.”

“Well, they're young, so of course they'll listen.”

“And it's our job to corrupt them…” I joke, fueled with a smirk.

My only response is a stern look from the nineteen year old crazed man. “What? I found it funny.”

“Not all of us did.” he signals to the fillies, confused at what I said before. It appears that the two of them heard what I said, and now they seem curious as to what I meant.

“Ignore what I said, okay?” I ask.

They nod their heads in unison.

“Great.” I sigh, “Alex, can you get me a bandage please?”

He complies, and darts off of his feet to grabs the first aid kit from the cupboard. Upon receiving the bandage, I thank my roommate and I do my best to wrap my foot up as to prevent the bleeding any further. I'm glad they taught us basic first aid at ASDA, otherwise I'd be done for. Thank the ASDA God for adding medical training into their curricular for staff.

Now that my foot is bandaged, I get up properly and turn to the little fillies. “I guess you two are stuck here with us two.” I point to Alex and I, going back and forth with my finger. “So we're gonna have to set some rules…”

Alex and I quickly make some rules up in our head.

“First rule: Sorry, but for your life’s well-being, please do NOT go outside. Humans can be very destructive creatures, so I don't want you getting brutally murdered by one, and for that not to happen, you have to be within the safety of this home.” I state.

“Second Rule: Please don't try anything you know may put you in harm that is around the house. Again, we don't want you getting hurt, so don't.” He adds.

“Third Rule: Get our permission first if you want something, whether it be basic essentials or luxuries. Touching things in this world could be the end of you. The advanced technology here could be sufficient to take one's life away from them.” I assure

“And Last Rule: I pray, just don't interfere with anything that goes on in the house. Unless it's a life-threatening thing, or an emergency in general, then don't mess about.” He finalises.

“Alex will point to where the different things and rooms are, so pay attention. Just saying now, we are in the kitchen, where food is made.” I instruct, seeing as I'm the most responsible one in the house.

I'm just really glad that these two are really good listeners, as they nod to approve what we have said.

“Now, the rules…” Alex tests.

“Don't go outside…” Sweetie Belle starts.

“Don't wreck the house…” Scootaloo soon joins in.

“Don't touch anything you are unsure of…” Sweetie adds.

“And don't intervene with anything unless it's important!” Scootaloo finishes.

“You got it girls.” Alex praises. “Now let me show you the rest of the house.

The three of them go on towards the different rooms, and I hobble over to my bedroom. I believe sleep would be a good idea, seeing as I'm in severe pain, and stress. I climb onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling.

“This day went very differently than normal.” I mutter to myself. “I wonder what tomorrow will serve…”

I start to trail off, before completely zoning out of reality.

3: Questions and Answers

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Three: Questions and Answers

The hour was now five, the sun making its trek across the horizon, shining its first rays of light onto the Student Accommodation buildings, and one particular house, forever changed by last night's events. I, however, didn't get any sleep, because I had to keep watch of my wounded foot, due to Alex’s act of stupidity upon this moment in time.

I also blame one particular filly for my lack of sleep. Trust me, when an adventurous little pony like Scoot would start asking questions about the world she is now in, they seemed to never end. It started with the whole, ‘where are we?’ kind of attitude, until it trailed to ‘why are you in Liverpool?’ and ‘why are you still in school?’. I gave as many answers as I could, because I don't know everything, do I?

I also asked her how they got to this planet, and she said that she had no clue how or why it happened. Fate has decided to keep the information from us. Maybe it was a botched spell? Possibly foreign magic. Or maybe this is all a hallucination. I highly doubt it's the previous statement, because if it was, they would be gone,  and low and behold they're still here, so I think it may have been a chaotic disaster...

Besides, I enjoyed her company, despite her doing most of the talking, and me doing most of the answering. Occasionally,  I would ask her about Equestria, but that I barely asked, yet she would answer without hesitation. Maybe there is a way to get there. The look on Alex’s when I take us to Ponyville, it would be enough to hang on the wall. Simply put, he would rather be in hell than in Equestria. I asked Scoot about her friends, and as expected she went on about ‘The Coolest Pony in Ponyville’ Rainbow Dash, and her friends. She shared her encounters with Princess Celestia, in which I say “I would love to visit that mare.” A ‘why?’ soon followed. With no other choice, I explained why I like her quite a bit, and now she swears next time she sees her, she'll tell her about me. Why, Scoot, why!?

She's such a mischief, y’know, more bark than bite, or maybe they're equal, I'm not so sure yet. However, so far she's a really chatty one in regards to asking questions. Sweetie Belle on the other hand, I can't really say much about her. I'm gonna have to talk to Alex about how she was last night, and no, not like that. At least I don't have work tomorrow, so that's a plus. I can spend all the time I need looking after these rascals, so all is for sure, good. Nothing bad can happen today, I know that for sure.

Enough of me rambling on, I walked out of my room at around half past four, and whaddayaknow! Alex is still at the computer, now accompanied by the white unicorn aforementioned, jumping up and down on his bed. The cute little smile on her face as she does, wow. Then again, she doesn’t seem to care with the mess that is everywhere in his room. Honestly, his room is a mess.

My inner thoughts are cut like a hot knife and butter (or a sharp knife and flesh), when I am called over. “Hey Brendan, come over here.”

I walk to the teen at the computer. It appears he is looking at the National Health Service (the NHS, how you are such a glorious, but idiotic thing) website about stabs. He points to the text below, and monotonously reads: “Bleeding from small cuts and grazes can be controlled by applying pressure to the cut using a clean, non-fluffy pad (preferably a sterile dressing, if you have one) and by raising the injured body part above the level of the heart, so the bleeding slows down and stops. If it’s your hand or arm, raise it above your head; if it’s a lower limb, lie down and raise it.”

He adds, “If you don’t have a sterile dressing to hand, use your hand, their hand or even a tea towel or t-shirt to slow down the bleeding.”

I begin to walk towards the bathroom before he quickly adds, “However, you should seek medical advice from your GP or NHS walk-in centre if:

the bleeding does not stop after 10 minutes of applying pressure.

the cut is long or deep.”

He turns to me. “Looks like you’re taking a trip to the hospital, my friend.”

Fuck! Of all the things I didn’t want to happen, was to have to go to the hospital, because if we have to go, the fillies will be alone in the house. We don’t really want that, but considering the state of my foot, unable to walk on, I have to go there with him to aid my trip, unless…

“Should we call an ambulance to pick me up? I mean, I can’t really walk, and the fillies alone in this house isn’t a good idea.”

“Ambulances are for emergencies only. This isn’t that bad.” he counters.

Fuck!! Not only do I have to go to the hospital, I have to go there by foot! That defeats the whole purpose of the stabbed wound helping. Thanks Alex. I have to get there somehow, unless…

“How about we call a taxi to take us there?”

“You really think that would be okay? Unless you want our wallets crying at us, then it can’t happen.”

Fuck!!! The University funds is getting us nowhere, I have no other choice but to leave the fillies behind! This Universe is against me today.

“Can’t we just take them with us?” Alex proposes.

“...what? Mate, are you insane!? We can’t just let them walk around in the open, it’s too dangerous…”

“Yes, I am slightly insane. Besides, who says they have to be on the outside…”

~~~

I hobble along the stone cold path, with the support of my roommate to my left, with a bag in tow. This must be one of the smartest ideas ever.

“You may think it’s smart.” Sweetie muffles, “But I think it’s kinda weird. It’s horrendous in here! Disgusting! Repulsive! Atr-”

Scootaloo covers Sweetie’s mouth with her hoof inside of Alex’s bag. “What are you, a dictionary?”

Classic Chicken. It really is. Can't get any better than that, in my opinion.

Sweetie spits Scoot’s hoof from her mouth. “I thought Apple Bloom was the dictionary of the three of us.”

How the fuck did she known what I thought?! I quickly come up with my reasoning.

“No. She’s the Mini Apple.” I tease. “The Chicken and the Mini Marshmallow are in the bag.”

“HEY!!!”

A smug smile soon returns to my face, to show the pleasure of annoying those two fillies. Such a good feeling, seriously it is. You should try it…

...wait. You can't. You don't have little fillies in your house. Good for me, and in a twisted way, Alex. You don't want the responsibility of two young ponies in the hands of a person that can't keep his hot pocket in his hot pockets. That wouldn't end well...

4: Hospital Experiences

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Four: Hospital Experiences

About ten minutes later, after hobbling on the sidewalk, we reach the hospital, a grey, towering block consisting of the typical blue and white NHS sign on the front way. The large door and front wall, adorned with large windows, glistened in the sunlight, as the early hours shine on the large and noisy city. We arrived at around half past six, still with my left foot wrapped in the now blood-stained bandage. Before our arrival, we made sure the fillies remained quiet, in which they obeyed. Easy them lot, so young, and so easy to talk into.

We checked in, gave our reason of visit, names, and ages, and we sat down onto the blue chairs in the waiting room, filled with either sick, broken, or pregnant people. The room is silent, save the blurting of the TeleVision in the corner of the room, the radio blurting in another corner of the room, the occasional coughs and winces of pain from other patients, but I sat there, earphones at ears, phone in hand, and Alex sat there, staring at the white wall, tapping on his legs, drowned in the typical grey trousers of his. I was wearing a new top, as I changed out of my workers uniform. I presented a black and white tracksuit with my preferred football team shirt from back in 2016. I'm still surprised it still fits, seeing as it's 4 years old. I guess it shows that I have really slimmed down through the years. I loved the shirt with all the tender and care I had, and I was wearing it today, not covered in blood this time, luckily.

“Mr. Andersen?” the doctor calls out my last name. I go to get up immediately, but the pain of my wounded foot prevents me from doing so, as I slowly get up, wincing in pain. The doctor walks over to me to give assistance. “So it's your foot that's concerning you?”

I weakly nod my head.

“Tell me what happened.” he consoles.

I take a deep breath in, and start. “I had arrived home from work and gotten to speak to my friend. There was this odd noise from the kitchen, like the sound of something falling off of the cabinet.”

“Was it a robbery?” the doctor interrupts.

“No it wasn't. What criminal would want to break into student accommodation?” I joke.

He chuckles slightly, “True, I guess. So what happened next?”

“Me and Alex,” I resume, “went to investigate what happened there, him with a knife in his hand, I guess for self defense. We opened the door expecting someone to be there, but there was nothing. He had ended up dropping the knife when he found out there was nothing. I didn't notice that I was stabbed until I looked down slightly, seeing the knife had landed, point first, slicing through my left foot.” Part of that was a lie, I think the reader can identify it.

“Accidentally stabbed by your friend. Well ain't he a good friend.” the doctor jokes.

I smirk a little from it, “I knew it was an accident. Anyways, it started bleeding when he took the knife out, and I may have lost quite a bit of blood from it.” I spoke the rest of the story as I unravel the blood-stained cloth. A small but deep cut, upon the top of the foot, near the second toe from the left, about 2 inches wide and most likely an inch deep. The doctor winces at my unveiling of it, and he gets up to grab some alcohol and cotton buds for it. Once he had retrieved the items he was after, he started dabbing the now alcohol-covered cotton bud onto the wound, and it was this that stung like hell. I sat tight, wincing in pain from the alcohol making contact with the cut. Once that was over, he got a bandage and started wrapping my foot with it, advising that I take 10 days off to rest the wound.

Great. Not only am I gonna have to take a long break from work, I have to look after two fillies in the process! Woe is me, dearie.

It's not that much of an issue to be honest, I have the help of Alex, and as long as he can live to see another day, we should be good for the time I am rested. The only thing is that I'm glad I'm not dead, so all is well in this unfortunate world we live in.

I get up and shake the doctor's hand in thanks, and limp out of the room. Alex is sitting there, still waiting for me in his typical posture. “How did it go?” he asks.

“Have to stay off of work for two weeks. Apart from that, I'm alive.” I respond in my typical way.

“Being alive is a good thing? Huh. I never knew that.”

I facepalm. Seriously, the stuff this guy says. I guess you get used to it over the years. If there was a phrase to describe how complicated my roommate is, it would have to be one he made up. I do have a book of quotes from the different things he has said over the last five years, so I can always use one of them to describe him. Let's see…

Yes, this one. “Feeling Spain. Feeling it from Alméria to Cordoba and Léon.” It works perfectly, considering I ‘bought Spain’ back in 2016 for fifteen pounds, a packet of salt and vinegar crisps, and a bottle of cherry coke. Seriously, the kind of things we came up with back in the day could be considered as not even sane for a bunch of fifteen year olds in North London.

He chuckles at my reaction. I soon follow, before we hear a whisper from the bag, obviously meaning the fillies are uncomfortable in there. “When can we get out!? It's so smelly in here. What has Alex put in this bag over the years?”

Upon hearing the girls chatter, I immediately grab Alex's hand and his bag and proceed to limp out of the hospital, slightly annoyed. I have no more use there, so why be there? We start making our way home at around seven hours into the fresh day, and into the somewhat fresh air. Now with a slightly healing foot, we get home faster than we got to the hospital, around fifteen minute walk. Not a word was shared between the four of us on our way back...

5: The Act of Stress Relief

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Five: The Act of Stress Relief

The trip back home was very quiet throughout the early morning, and the prolonged and unnecessary silence now dragged on into the apartment and onward past the point the fillies are out of the bag, and onto the carpet in my bedroom, drowning in white walls, posters, shelves, wardrobes of MLP things. The lone desk to the side, looking out and over the campus, accompanied by a black leather chair, a computer of half-decency, a shelf containing many pieces of information useful for studies, my study books, ranging room colours of brown to orange, to red, to yellow, to light blue, to dark blue, the black, and lastly to purple. No words had transpired into the warm, well heated room, until Alex cleared his throat,making us all turn to face him.

“Sorry,” he apologises, “Summin in the back of my throat.”

Silence controls the room once more. It may have been broken, but it has repaired itself in an instant. This is really starting to get on my nerves, especially with my wound, my situation, and the stupidity of the filles back at that extremely boring hospital. Then again I can't really say anything, because I've been through more boring lectures than in hospitals.

I cough, and all three immediately turn to me.

I take a deep breath once I'm done coughing.

“Okay.” I begin my rant. “What the fuck were you two thinking back there!? It may have been one of the most boring experiences you would've ever been through, but couldn't you wait until we were outside the hospital before asking questions. It may not be against the rules, but the circumstances we were in had no appropriate input to my experience. And you! “I point to Alex during my outburst. “Couldn't you have looked after them properly!? Such an irresponsible bastard you can be sometimes! Couldn't have warned them in advance not to say anything, not matter how long it would've taken!? It would've been six simple words, but noooo. You go ahead and keep your mouth shut, zipped away so they can disobey certain requirements. I'm both ashamed of the three of you, sometimes I feel like the only responsible creature in this building. You can clearly tell that I'm hurt and unable to get money, and you go ahead AND TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!!!” I finish in anger.

I take a moment to compose, taking a deep breath in and out. “Okay, everyone just get some sleep. I'm getting a coffee when I wake up. NOW!”

The fillies seem to hesitate to leave the room, but after a stern glare, it eventually wards them off. Alex just shoots a glare at me, and walks off muttering a few foreign words I can't make out.

“Some bloody peace and quiet would really be nice…” I mutter, before laying on my bed and drop my head onto my pillow. The entire role I'm playing in this case is really putting a lot of tension on my shoulders, so I begin to muse over the events of last evening and this morning. Why did I have to be the one they got stuck with? Why was it us that got these fillies? What will happen if the Government find out?

So many questions ponder my mind, that I am unaware that time flew by in the hour. Before I knew it, the sun was high in the sky and the clock had chimed for 1pm. So much for sleeping.

I hop out of bed, holding my head, and I walk into the kitchen for the first time in a while. As I guessed, a pot had been knocked over in the appearance of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. I pick it up with my right hand and place it back on the counter, before grabbing a mug from the cupboard and turning the kettle plug on. I pick up the kettle after I had put the mug on the counter, and I fill the kettle with some cold water. About three cups. I place it back on its stand and flick the switch on it, causing it to begin boiling the water.

I lean back against the counter, tapping my foot to a melody that has popped into my head. Kind of catchy, but nothing over the top. However, this is interrupted by the click of the switch on the kettle to represent the boiled water being completely boiled. I carefully grab a teaspoon and fish out some coffee granules from the pot it's in. I dump them inside the mug, before putting the teaspoon on the counter and picking up the kettle with precaution, leering the warm water pour out into the mug, becoming a solution with the presence of the coffee granules. I go over to the cupboard and get out some Silver Spoon Sugar. I'm pretty sure there's a joke to be made there, but I'm not so sure. Anyway, I measure out two piled teaspoons and dump them into the coffee, stirring it after the second teaspoon. I now grab the milk from the fridge and pour a decent amount in, making the coffee a light brown. I pick up the coffee by the handle and limp back to my room, being careful not to harm anyone or anypony on my way back.

I let out a massive yawn as I place the coffee on the desk and slouch into my leather chair. I turn the computer on and wait for it to load…

...maybe I would wait for it to load if it weren't for Scoot jumping onto my lap and looking at the monitor in confusion.

She extends a hoof. “What is that?”

“My dear Chicken, it is a monitor. It displays things using LED lights, usually used for computer screens.”

“Like a projector, but cooler?” she asks.

“Kind of, yeah.” I answer. “It displays computer inputs most of the time.”

“What's a computer?”

“It is a machine that allows you to do many things on it. Here, I'll show you.” I say as I type in my password.

Once the password is accepted, the screen glows to the home page, showing a display of an image I found on the Internet that I quite liked.

Gotta love a photo of Dean Ambrose watching ponies with popcorn. As a Wrestling fan and a brony, there's no wonder why I picked that photo. Sweetie decides to walk it at this moment and hops over to Scoot, most likely to pass some words. I quickly turn and interrupt them from their gossip:

“Well, Scoot, Sweetie, it is time to teach you about the wonders of the greatest piece of human technology that is, this computer…”

6: Technological Explanations

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Six: Technological Explanations

“Well, you two, you better have notes ready, because this will be a helluva ride, learning about computers.”

The two fillies rush of to, what I guess, is to find a pen and a pencil. I'm sure that there is enough of those in this house. Point is, they have no clue what a pencil or a piece of paper is, so they immediately rush back. Before they can say anything, I have some paper and two pens in my hands, and they grab them and sit upon my lap.

“Right. Time for Technological Explanations. This,” I point to the computer screen. “is a monitor. It displays images using LEDs or LCDs and frames to let me see what is going on in the computer.” The fillies start scribbling notes down on their paper, before Sweetie asks a question: “So that thing there,” she points to the screen, “isn't the computer?”

“Yes,” I respond, as I move my chair back, almost making the girls stumble. I point my finger to the computer. “That there is the actual computer. It's basically a large box filled with different wires, gears, and motors to generate different commands, that can either be self inputted or automatically inputted. It allows me to do many things. For instance,” I begin, before opening to a software that I had downloaded, a music making software called Linux MultiMedia Studio, or LMMS for short. “This software allows me to make different sounds and noises to create music. It's all based off of electronics, the sounds coming out of these speakers,” I trail my finger to the speakers to either side of the computer screen. “which amplifies sound to make it louder, but I normally have a pair of headphones or earphones.”

“What's the difference between headphones and earphones?” Scoot asks.

“Headphones, “I grab my set of headphones, “go over over the head and over the ears,” I place them on my head and over my ears, “like so.” I remove them from my head and grab my earphones. “Earphones have special earbuds, that go inside of the ear.” I put my earphones on, to demonstrate the difference.

“Ahh… right. Got it. Thanks Brendan. ” Scoot soon says.

“Now back to this,” I close the music software I opened. “Computers can't do very much without access to something called the Internet. It basically is a virtual server that allows things to be viewed without the need of any downloading. It allows me to do many things, enhancing the computers use by about forty three times, obviously not an accurate number.” I open Chrome, and it takes me to the Google homepage.

“Goo-gel? Go-ggle?” the two of them start trying to pronounce the word on the screen.

“Google,” I correct,  “the main server host for all your questions and answers. You can search for anything with the use of this server. It is pretty helpful when needing information. Ask me a question and I can type it in with this keyboard,” I tap the keyboard's side, “and I will get the answer for you.”

Sharply, Sweetie Belle comes up with an equation for Google to solve: “Thirty-Three times Forty-Two.”

I type in the equation into the Google search engine, and gives us the answer: “Thirteen Eighty-Six.” I read aloud.

They look stunned at the capability of this new piece of machinery they have discovered.

“Thirty-Four times the Square Root of Sixty-Nine.” Scootaloo blurts.

I type it in. “Two Fourty-Two Point Four Two, rounded to two decimal places.”

They look amazed by its ability yet again.

“It does it so fast! I like this machine.” Scootaloo exclaims before reaching up to grab the mouse.

I quickly stop her from doing so. “Sorry Scoot, but if you look in the wrong place, the Internet can be the strangest place to go to. One wrong move and you will never see things the same way again. Trust me on that, I have first-hand experience from that kind of thing.” I warn.

“It really can't be that bad, can it?” Sweetie asks.

“Just take my word on it, okay? I don't want you looking at things you're not supposed to look at.”

They nod their heads in unison. I sigh in relief before taking a sip of my now lukewarm coffee. “Forgot that was there,” I quietly mutter to myself.

I soon let out a big yawn, indicating that I have had a lack of sleep. “I should really get some shut-eye, I didn't sleep when you all did.” I down the rest of my coffee in the process.

They start to look sad, ears drooping down to the side of their heads, pouting for a moment, but they soon jump off of my lap, ears perked up, and they place their notes onto the desk, before Sweetie Belle walks out, and Scootaloo trots back in. I hop into my bed, unaware of Scoot's presence, only for me to see it as she jumps onto the bed and lays down beside me, taking the covers to drape them over herself. “Me neither, I didn't sleep too. Uncomfortable and cold out there” she whispers.

I chuckle quietly for a bit. She really is enjoying my company. I turn to give her a hug. She obliges and extends her forearms to me, bringing us together in arms. Her fur is very warm up against the fabric I'm wearing, and she has a slight scent of lavender to her mane. Kinda explains the purple. She rests her neck against my shoulder, head rubbing against my cheek. This is a really enjoyable embrace I have shared with a chicken, figuatively speaking, and it seems like it would never end.

Alas, I was wrong, and after about thirty seconds, she pulls back, still with our arms around each other. We look into each other's eyes for a bit, slightly trying to distract ourselves, before I eventually turn to begin falling asleep. However, she tugs me back, so I shuffle around to make eye contact.

I am greeted with a kiss on my lips...

...woah. I quickly return her kiss, indulging in the passion of the both of us. It stops after about a minute,  before she whispers something:

“Who you callin’ Chicken, eh?”

I smile, before shuffling for another embrace, falling asleep into each arms....

7: There's a First for Everything

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Seven: There's a First for Everything

I wake up from my little nap, more relieved than ever, staring at three ceiling with a smile plastered onto my face. Warm and fuzzy to the right of me, is Scoot, snoring away in the depths of most likely a really good and deep sleep. My smile stretches a little at the sight of her, cuddling against my a-

What is that running down the side of my leg? And why does it smell so odd?..

...oh...

Umm… ...fuck.

...what the fuck?! Is she really enjoying my presence that much?! Man, she really must like me for that to happen. Maybe it's what she's dreaming about. If only I could see…

...or not. I don't really want to actually. It may cause a spark in something a-

...Shit. Why!?!

Of all the moments this had to  occur, it had to be now. This might be the worst timing that I would ever face...

...or the best. Depends if you're into that.

“Good morning Brendan…”

Speaking of faces, Scoot has now jumped onto my torso and is now giving me lusty eyes. This might be the end of me if I don't control myself. That liquid running down the side of my right leg, her eyes staring into mine, it's all unbearable.

Hoarsely, I reply. “H-hey…”

She plants another kiss onto my lips, guessing to supply her needs. I can't take it back, I am kinda enjoying myself.

After three minutes of vigorous kissing, I pull back, out of breath slightly. “Someone’s a bit needy today…”

She looks down at my shirt, figuring out how to use it, “Yeah. I think I'm in heat now. Which means...” She starts tugging at my shirt. It's soon she discovers the little snake, no longer hibernating.

She bites her bottom lip, and lustily looks into my own eyes.

‘If she's in heat, she must be old enough to understand, meaning she is at least,  let's say, 10 or 11. No one really knows, so…’ I quickly weigh up two sides.

...well… here goes nothing… They don't tell us to take risks for a reason.

SCHOOL GOT ME LAID! BITCH, WHAT DID SCHOOL DO TO YOU!?

------------Alex------------

I sit at my computer, tapping on the desk in the darkness, headphones wrapped upon my head, staring at the computer screen and waiting for this BLOODY SOFTWARE TO LOAD!!! It's taken way too long already, and I am fed up of waiting. Sweetie Belle is jumping on my bed as per usual, and I completely disregard everything around me apart from the little filly.

Scootaloo walked back into Brendan’s room after Sweetie was taught about computers, and I haven't seen her walk out yet. I worry about what they're doing in that room, but that's not my priority right now. My priority is looking after Sweetie, and keeping myself entertained.

Sweetie starts tapping against my shoulder, which I ignore very well, the music has actually loaded for once and I start tapping on the desk harder. The software has finally loaded and I start playing around with it in joy.

She starts tapping on my shoulder again, harder and faster than before, yet I still take no recognition of it. I would rather be listening to “Needles” than to be conversing with her.

She pounces onto my lap.

...dammit Sweetie Belle.

I pause the track and take off my headphones. “What do you want?” I say with an irritated tone.

“There are some really strange noises coming from over there.” She points to the wall separating mine and Brendan’s room. Okay that really is bad... “My friend is in there, I hope they're okay…” her ears droop down to the sides when she says that.

“I would forget about it. They're okay, I just know they are. Brendan wouldn't harm her, so they should be in good terms.”

Silence takes the room as a culprit, and keeps it hostage for about an hour. During the time I try to figure out the noises on the other side. Is that?...

“It's still going on. I'm really scared.” she speaks with concern.

“Again, they're fine. They're most likely having fun in there…” I reply. ‘I can bloody well tell they're having fun in there.’ I think.

Silence takes the room yet again, and I catch the noises again. ‘Yeah… they are…  They've been in there for a while. Now I'm starting to worry. How long do they last!? The only thing I can really say is that I'm glad that isn't me…

Maybe it might be me. сука Блять.

“Anything about Scoot that I should know involving this time of the year?” I ask.

“Not that I know of.” she responds.

That really is helpful. Thanks Sweetie Belle…

"Oh, Sweetie, how old are you and Scootaloo?" I ask.

"We're both fifteen years old, and Scootaloo''s birthday is in three days, and mine is in two months."

"That's alright then." I reply. 'For Brendan, not so much.' I quickly muse.

A moment passes before Sweetie Belle speaks up.

“What's in that folder?” she says as she points to a random folder, which just so happens to be a folder with contents I shall keep undisclosed.

Let it sink in…

...yeah. That...

“Let's not go there Sweetie Belle. Did Brendan tell you never to use the Internet without care?” I ask.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry Alex. Shouldn't get personal, if that's, umm, what computers are…” she apologises.

“Where mine is very personal Sweetie Belle.” I reassure, after putting my headphones back over my head.

Aside from the music blaring in my ears, it goes silent for another twenty minutes.

“It's stopped.” she finally says after about another ten minutes.

Thank whoever is up there, it was getting really annoying in there. I just hope they're okay...

------------Brendan------------

Man, that really was great. It went on for so long, I feel so much better after that. The sweaty, orange, purple, and minutely white ball of fluff and mess is panting underneath me, as am I. It may be a first for the both of us, but we really got the hang of it after about ten minutes.

Scoot quickly hugs and thanks me, and she races off the the shower first, meaning I have to wait for a bit. I turn my computer on in the meantime, and she rushes back in.

“I can't reach the buttons.”

I get up and head to the bathroom, turning the knobs to meet her requirements. After about two minutes of fiddling with the buttons, she allows me to leave. Turns out she likes her showers like myself. How coincidental. I leave her with a kiss before going to my room to attend my computer, which had turned on and loaded by the time I return.

It smells really bad in here, so I get up and grab the air freshener to hide the scent. I quickly clean the mess we left, and she walks back in once I've cleaned it. “That was relaxing. I really enjoyed what we did.”

“We both did. And I'm glad you glad you enjoyed it as much as I did.” I scoop her up into a hug.  “I love you Scootaloo “

She muzzles my neck with her muzzle and wraps her forelegs around my torso. “And I love you too Brendan.”

We kiss once again.

My god that was bad, wasn't it?7tttttlrhu

…uhhhhhhhhhh, what the fuck happened there!?

It's one of your glitch episodes that your keyboard has every so often.

Thanks, whoever you are.

You're weluucimyeu…

...I, er, think yours did it too.

Yeah it did. Shit.

Heh. This job is actually harder than I thought.

Tell me about it.  But you're the most qualified to tell it, so get on with it.

Okay boss…

8: Caught Red-Hoofed

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Eight: Caught Red-Hoofed

A violent and loud knocking at the door soon breaks the embrace we periodically enjoyed, and a soon slamming noise of the door hitting the wall further scares us simultaneously. Alex is standing at the doorway, looking quite irritated. His eyeballs are a faint shade of red, and his hair is topsy-turvy, flying in all sorts of directions. The atmosphere in the room goes dead serious, and dark, meaning that whatever I found pleasing, doesn't make him satisfied. I'm in deep trouble...

Sweetie Belle hops in straight after,with a cheery smile and with her eyes shut. She seems so innocent, that she has no idea what's going on. I'm just glad they're young, and that I have an advantage. I don't think Alex gets what I meant yesterday. Glad it's a Sunday though, I'd be in even more trouble. The time reads 4:20pm, and I'm pretty sure I should make a joke about my friends eyes, but now isn't the time. I should rather focus on my friends angered state.

Alex takes a few steps towards my tired body. “What. The fuck. Did you do?” he sternly asks.

My response involves my hands darting above me, to present my palms to the annoyed man. “Can't I do what I want in this house?” I reply, “Surely we pay half and half, so this room is my property, right?”

“Well, you can't go round f-”

I cover his mouth with my left hand, and I quickly intervene. “Watch your profanity, Alex. We have children in the house.” I glance over to Scoot and give her a wink. I receive one from her. ‘Yeah,’ I internally joke, ‘actual children. Like babies and crap.’ I chuckle at my own joke silently, and Alex doesn't notice, thankfully.

He spits my hand out. “Well she,” he points to Scoot, with emphasis “isn't so much of a child now, is she? And fuck you and your profanity. You've done the worst palm of all.”

I quickly give him a stern look and remind him of a thing: “Do you remember what I said?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he responds, “I remember it as if it were yesterday…”

“That's because it was yesterday, Dummkopf.”

~~~

I turn around to whisper to Alex. “That was easier than I thought.”

“Well, they're young, so of course they'll listen.”

**“And it's our job to corrupt them…”* I joke, fueled with a smirk.*

My only response is a stern look from the nineteen year old crazed man. “What? I found it funny.”

“Not all of us did.” he signals to the fillies, confused at what I said before. It appears that the two of them heard what I said, and now they seem curious as to what I meant.

“Ignore what I said, okay?” I ask.

They nod their heads in unison.

“Great.” I sigh.

~~~

“Let's get things clear.” I begin, “Not all the time I actually mean what I  say, so truth be told, maybe I wasn't joking…” I clarify, quickly giving him a wink.

He stutters for a moment, trying to find his words, and eventually speaks up. “You’re telling me, that this wasn't a joke!?”

“Indeed it wasn't sir. If a brony makes a certain joke, they always take it back when they realise how much of a benefit it can be. That's why I don't trust myself, and that's why you shouldn't trust me on making early decisions involving ponies.” I finish my rant by placing my hands on my hips, and my right eye twitches.

He stands there, mouth agape from my double-bluff, which I recently explained to him.

He walks to me and whispers: “You. Are. An. Idiot.”

“I know.”

The fillies start laughing at my joke. Maybe because of the name calling. I don't understand how they heard, but I guess ponies have really sensitive hearing. Damn you proper anatomy.

Then again it is barely existent in those fillies, so just forget I said that, okay?

Anyways, I give him a pat on the back and he goes back into his room. Sweetie and Scoot are conversing in the corner, and I sigh, walking towards the kitchen. I quickly pull out my earphones, plugging them into my phone, and I begin to play one of the tracks I made when I was younger, called ‘MisTechnic Galactica'. It was, and still is, my favourite creation of mine so far. The wackiness of its name, the slow build-up, to drop, then its end is soothing and skilled for my experience back then, being eight months into the whole music production scene. It's eeriness is enough to question yourself.

The whole music thing began when I was first sat at a piano which was at the age of around five, or so. I really loved playing it, so I took it upon myself to learn advanced. However, when I was 9, I realised I was lacking the bother to follow the curriculum, so I decided to quit taking lessons, and go my own way. Soon after discovering LMMS, back in 2015, I became glued to it, and I started making all sorts of tracks, with the first being named, ‘Across the Arctic’, a seven minute and sixteen second of pure trial and error. I've become much better since, and I still use it every now and then, despite not being so big on it now.

Anyways, back to the current day, and not writing my autobiography this early, I start to boil some water in the kettle, and I let out a massive yawn. I check the time and date again, Sunday, realising I should be asleep. Work is tiring, so I should really get some rest. Having to carry shelves worth of tins (full of screws in it) around a massive supermarket is really tiring. I turn the kettle off, cancelling my early night tea, and I hop into my bed, which Scootaloo is laying on, fast asleep. I let out a long yawn, and I take myself to the depths of sleep...

...only this time, I don't wake up the next fine morning.

9: Seeing Colours

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Nine: Seeing Colours

“Brendan. It's a shame that you have missed work today. This will not affect anything about retaining your job, but we here at ASDA are concerned as to what has happened. Just give us a ring when you can and I hope you feel better soon. Thank you, and have a nice day if you can, Brendan.”

------------Alex------------

The sound of some sort of hitting and banging woke me up at around 3am, and Sweetie was also disturbed from her slumber, though she isn't fully aware of what is happening. ‘I know Brendan and Scootaloo wouldn't start hitting each other because of last night, so there must be an intruder in the house!’ I quickly come to my conclusion and grab the knife on my desk. Before I have to opportunity to rush out, a sight I hope I'd never see lay out before the opened door.

Another two ponies, however both bigger than the fillies that had ended up here two days ago. One had a light blue fur and a rainbow mane and tail, and it had some shades of red on its fur. Her eyes were a shade of magenta, and she looked pretty angry. The other was a bright white, adorning a horn upon her head, and with and curly purple mane and tail. This one had blue eyes, and it had no particular emotion shown. However, the unicorn had Scootaloo on her back, so this must not be good for whatever the situation is. From what I can remember Brendan telling me, this is Rainbow Dash and Rarity.

I mentally swear, before gripping my weapon and quietly whispering, “You came to the wrong house fools…”

Rarity speaks up. “What have you done to my sister, you, you,” she hesitates to find the right word, “APE!”

“You would never be forgiven, and I can show you a piece of my own demolition, monkey.” Rainbow quickly follows.

I put my hands up in protest. “I didn't hurt the fillies, I swear! Neither did Br-” my sentence is cut when my mind made four. ‘Rainbow has blood on her fur, there was a beating noise in Brendan’s room…’

I drop an f-bomb on the building, before rushing past the mares to see how Brendan is.

There appears to be blood pouring out of his arm and head, his right arm looks to be broken, and twisted in and funny way. His left knee looks torn, and his torso is covered in his blood. Some of said blood is on his throat, chin, and by his mouth, but fortunately, he is breathing, but slightly rushed. ‘This doesn't look good,’ I thought to myself, ‘it could end in death. How is he not dead?..’

After wandering about Brendan’s survival of death-threatening injuries, I immediately call for an ambulance to come and pick him up, before going back to the mares, with a now confused Sweetie Belle on Rainbow’s back.

“Please forgive me and Brendan, we did nothing to harm the kids.”

“And what makes us believe we should trust you, fool?” Rainbow counters.

“First of all, my preferred weapon of annihilation is this knife here.” I show them my blade. “Is there any blood on it?”

They shake their heads. Rainbow soon goes for a retort, "How can we trust you? You could've washed that knife!?"

I hold my hand up and shake my head.

“I am certain that I didn't do anything. Just look at Exhibit B: just look at them for and moment. No scars, cuts, or intentional pain committed, am I right?”

They examine both fillies, and turn back to me and shake their heads.

“Thirdly, please stop calling us monkeys. That may be what we look like, but ‘humans’ is the correct technological word.”

They look at each other in slight guilt.

“Finally, you have to hide.”

They ask why in unison.

“The doctors are turning up to this building, and because your kind isn't expected here, I suggest you hide real good, before the dirty side of humans is presented to you, on a plate.”

“So what I just did was for no purpose at all?” Rainbow asks.

“AND you hurt my best friend too. He is in a really bad state now. He could be on the verge of death for fucks sake! He's going to miss a lot of his school work, his part-time job won't pay for him, which in turn won't be beneficial for this household, and it's going to take him a while to get back into health.” I reason.

“My word…” is all Rarity can say.

“We are so sorry, Mr… uhh...” Rainbow then apologises.

“An apology won't cure my friends state. Also, my name is Alex, and the guy you just beat up, is Brendan, most likely the nicest guy I've ever know.”

I can hear the ambulance sirens from the distance, so I turn to the girls: “Hide now. It's for the better.”

They listen to my advice and make way to find somewhere to hide, and it works effectively, despite it being under my bed. About five minutes later, the men come in with a stretcher and some blood, and they carefully carry Brendan out of the building, and much to their protest, I had to remain behind. All of the girls were now fully awake, and they seemed to be catching up over certain events. It's only be two days, jeez.

Once the people had left and driven off with Brendan to take him to the hospital, I turn around and say that they can come back out now. They carefully step out of their hiding place, and I give a stern look at Rainbow Dash.

“You,” I point with my finger, “have made a terrible mistake.”

“I am desperately sorry to know that I've beaten an innocent kid.” Rainbow apologises again, as her ears flop down to the side of her head.

I roll my eyes at the word ‘kid’. If anything, we're young adults...

“Brendan is such a nice guy too, Rainbow Dash! He's really good at explaining things, and he answers things honestly. I love him, and you took that away from me temporarily.” Scootaloo turns back on her ‘sister’.

“I'm just glad no one got hurt.” Rarity turns around.

Instantaneously, every being in the room turns around to look at her.

“...so somepony got hurt?”

“Why did you think the doctors had to come in and take away a shattered man?” I start to raise my voice at the unicorn mare.

“Wait. He is your friend?!”

I facepalm. ‘Seriously, this mare…’

10: Hospitality

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Ten: Hospitality

The feeling of a fast yet equal force was inflicting on my unconscious and twisted body. My entire body had gone numb, and I felt weaker than glass. I couldn't tell the difference between anything. Then again I can't see, hear, or feel anything. All I know is that I can breathe, and that the remainder of my blood, overdosed with adrenaline, is rushing across my veins.

After about after 50 seconds… or was it 50 minutes? I think it's the latter. Anyways, after about fifty minutes, I guess I was placed onto a bed thing, and some things were in planted into my skin. From the franticness of the way they were put in, I am guessing that I've been taken to a hospital.

Huh. So whatever happened, is bad. This isn't good. I am expecting a long recovery during this, whatever this limbo land is. I have no clue what attacked me, but whatever it did to me could be life threatening. From what I can taste, because that hasn't gone, there must be a lot of blood in my airways, mouth, and oesophagus.

I must've been out for a long time, because after what felt like days, though it most likely was, I finally could hear things. The miracle of gaining your sense of hearing.

The heart beat monitor was beeping in time with my heart's beating, and the machine was to my left. The flow of, what I'm guessing is the medicine and blood is also to my left, and to the right is a lamp, because I can hear the subtle, but noticeable noise of the light bulb. Footsteps were being taken outside, and an ongoing conversation was ahead.

“--t for a long time, hasn't he Alex?” a voice that I couldn't recognise said to, I guess to Alex. I have no clue what the context is, I guess I will just listen.

“It's been about 10 days since the attack, in which I do not want anyone big prosecuted. However, the fillies and their sisters are said in the hands of the both of us. Yet clearly, it has had to be a one man job.” Alex responds.

Wait… does that mean I'm famous now? Jeez, what has he done to get me like this?

“So how abouts did this entire legacy start?” the man says to him.

“So it was a dark night on a Saturday, and Brendan came back home from work. Then we greeted each other again, and there was a clash of some pans in the kitchen. Me and him went to see what it was, and then the two fillies were there.” he replied, not long after taking a deep breath. “Then because of the encounter, his foot got met with the point of a knife that was in my hand, and he started bleeding. We treated it the best we could, and we got to know the girls after he had been fixed at the hospital. The next day, I was on the computer, and Sweetie was jumping on my bed, as usual for the past day. I decided to go to bed, and after about three hours of rest, the sound of punching and kicking woke me up. I got up to check on him, but then the older girls were there, and one of them appeared to have done the damage to Brendan. So I got up and found him I'm the state has was ten days ago. I phoned the ambulance and they took him to where he is now. In the past ten days, I've had to spread the news of their arrival to be able to help him recover as soon as he could. It's just a matter of time of when he'll be better.”

“So all of the bronies watching. Do you have anything to say to them for Brendan?” I presume the interviewer says back.

“If he had something to say to them, I'd guess that he'd maybe say to stay off of Scootaloo, due to reasons I shall remain undisclosed. Otherwise, I hope you all stay well and protected, and on my behalf, I wish him a quick recovery.” he says.

Yep. That would be what I would say to the press if I were famous. And rumours would be spread and the speculation of the press would be a lovely feeling. Alex knows me so well, y’know? I'm just glad that I am on my way to re-

My pain sense is the next sense I receive, and holy smokes there's a lot of it. My right arm feels completely shattered, and my left knee doesn't feel any good either. Anyways, I'm still alive, bearing the pain, and enjoying my heart beat increase…

…

Everyone in the room must've turned to face me and the beeps on the heart rate monitor starts increasing at a drastic speed. “That isn't good. He must have gotten his pain sensors back.” Alex says after. You don't fucking say Alex. They turned back to talk to the interviewer.

I try to open my eyes, and in success of that, my eyes are flooded with the hospital light on the ceiling burning my retinas three times over.

No one has seemed to notice that I have awoken…

I mentally grin to myself, and I prepare myself for this funny experience I will do.

“So do you have any clue when he'll be awake?” the interviewer says to Alex.

I wait for them to turn their attention to me.

“I think it will be soon…” he responds.

Now I am certain that they are looking at me. Cameras at the ready...

Without any warning, I sit up quickly and stare forwards.

All of their faces, including the cameramen are completely back at me just staring into the depths of the camera lens.

I look around in sarcasm to identify where things are, and from what I could hear, I was right.

I look straight back at the camera, give a little smirk and wave, with an accompanied, “Sup?” and then I lay back down and fall asleep…

All of the people in the room, albeit myself, are looking at each other confused.

“You have just witnessed the most confusing moment in television, everyone…”

11: Looking Back...

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Eleven: Looking Back...

My time at the hospital was very uneventful, apart from the frequent visits from Alex, and now accepted in society, the ponies that live with us too. Alex having to spread the news like he most likely did may have been a great turn around for me, but now that I have an arm covered by a light blue cast, and a wheelchair to accommodate my leg. Unfortunately, I had to quit my part-time job, due to my conditions, which is just. However, they said that they hope I do well in the future, and I'm just glad I have enough pay for the remainder of the time here in the University of Liverpool. Asides from that, being met in public isn't uneventful, as many people come to say hello to me and the girls, but asides from that nobody, or nopony got hurt.

It will take me a fuck ton of time to recover from this, but at least I'm still loved and/or appreciated by the four girls. Just be glad that your life is positive after a good six months out of action. And fame. Don't forget fame.

I haven't been taking advantage of my fame, because that's what all idiot celebrities do. Okay, maybe I am, but hey, I don't give two flying fucks. Apart from knowing almost all the bronies in Liverpool, and now there is a convention I must go to tomorrow. It's convenient, how I've healed up fully, and my first convention visit is the next day.

That's not what's important right now. I've just learnt how to walk again, and I've gotten my things packed to go to this convention with Alex. He's not particularly happy about it, but if it's free, then who can complain? If I had to go to some sort of convention for free, why the fuck not!? You understand where I'm going at?

Enough of rhetorical questions, me, Alex, and the rest of us are in a hotel near the convention building, with our passes at hand, or hoof in certain cases, and we are all just laying back relaxing. At least me and Scootaloo are. Alex is using his laptop, sitting on the bed, and as usual, Sweetie Belle is jumping on the bed in her cheery and carefree state. Rainbow Dash is watching Alex on his laptop, and Rarity is at a desk, drawing something, which I am unaware of. Most likely a new clothing idea that she got from mine and Alex’s body shape.

The silence is broken when Rainbow asks Alex a question. “What is in that folder over there?” she points with her hoof.

I have an out of body feeling that that's been asked b-

“Let's not go there, Rainbow Dash.”

...oh yeah. I remember when that happened. It was when I w-

…uhh.

Of all the things I had to start envisioning, it was that. I mean it was enjoyable, but now that I go back, it's kinda strange.

I glance over at Rainbow Dash, who is trying to find out what is in the folder she mentioned, and an idea comes to my head. I pat Scoot on the head, and say, “I'll be back in a bit,” before slowly creeping up to her.

I prepare my basic things in my pockets without anyone asking, and I creep up behind Rainbow.

I whisper into Rainbow’s ear, “Heeeeyyy~...”

She turns around, and suddenly jerks back from seeing me. Annoyed, she asks, “What?”

I shoot a cunning stare at her, and slowly inch closer to her.

“What the hay do you want?” she says, before staying calm, and looking back at me very confused.

I soon am face to face with the pegasus, and still with a cheeky grin and cunning eyes, I whisper slowly in her ear.

“I'm boning your sister…”

I immediately run out, screaming “LOOOOOOOOL” as I do so.

I run out of the hotel frantically, and I hop into a McDonald's nearby. I have no idea how Rainbow Dash reacted to what I said, but she hasn't flown after me, so I think I'm safe. I quickly order a large Chocolate HoneyComb Iced Frappe, and sit down to look out of the window. The rain has now started to come down, and it patters against the window and dribbles downwards. The almost absent traffic outside makes no major sound, as it is 10pm, and the streetlights light up the tranquil streets. The light coming from behind me has no real effect on the scenery before me, but I see my own, depressed looking figure in the reflection of the window.

“Hey.” a voice calls from my left.

I turn to face where the voice came from, and see a black man sitting down with a milkshake in his right hand. He has straight black hair and brown eyes, and from what I heard, it seemed that he had some sort of accent, as if he was visiting the UK for his own good. “You Brendan Andersen, right?” he asks.

“Das ist moi, ja,” I reply, “Might I ask for you name, and why you'd like to talk?”

“Oh. Of course.” he responds, with a distinctive Australian accent, “My name is Matthew Williams, and I just wanted to see how you were doing. You don't look too well.”

“To be honest, living with all of these ponies is difficult, so I'm going through a lot of stress,” I admit, “I can't get some time to myself, despite actually enjoying my time with the others, yet a day of relaxation seems almost unnegotiable, considering I have so many to look after.”

“Well,” he says, “you have this convention thing coming along tomorrow, and I shall say, try and enjoy yourself. You may be feeling down, but you can never have a day where you can do nothing. Every day seems to be a normal day for all of you, yet whenever time feels it's right, it will throw obstacles at you. It's what it does, and time has thrown four ponies at you this time. See it like a test: whoever is up there wants to know how you can cope with an object in life, and how you would deal with it. It's like walking for the first time; challenging, but you can overcome it.”

After a speech of wisdom by this man, a tear rolled down my right cheek. “Yeah.” I respond, “you're right. I should be enjoying life despite my troubles. Thank you Matt.”

“You're welcome,” he accepts. And with that I get up, shake his hand and walk back to the hotel, enlightened by this man's wise words.

Life is a complicated thing to overcome. Time is a puzzle around a small world, in a small universe, among a collection of universes. Never will a hard moment be able to throw you down, and never will an easy moment push you any higher than you already are. All actions, all days, and all the time, will a simple memory cross your mind, and always an easy life you will see. A life never so complicated, could be more, than the one of my own...

12: Randomness Ensues

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Twelve: Randomness Ensues

Once I run back into the hotel and open the door with my key, immediately I'm met with five pairs of eyes, all staring at me. Rainbow Dash had a look of confusion, Rarity looked more concerned for me, Alex giving me the ‘Really?’ look, Sweetie Belle, just like her sister, and Scootaloo looked slightly angry.

It takes ten seconds before Alex speaks up, “Why the fuck did you do that?” he asks.

“What!?” I throw my hands up in the air (sometimes!) to show my innocence, “I thought it was funny in my mind, but I guess it didn't work.”

“So it was a joke,” Rainbow asks.

“Not exactly,” both me and Scoot say simultaneously.

Everyone turns to Scootaloo immediately upon hearing her voice accompanied with mine.

Stumbling for words, Rainbow eventually finds her words, “Scoot! How? When? Where?”

Scoot simply holds her hoof up.to silence her ‘older sister’. “How? Heat is a bitch. Lucky nothing happened because of it. When? About seven months ago. Where? At our apartment. As for how it was, it was amazing.” she answers.

“Nice to know you enjoy the services I deliver.” I joke.

“They say human sperm banks are the best for a reason,” she winks, continuing the joke she created.

She hops over to my side, and I lean down and give her a passionate kiss. She rushes in to join in, and I pick her up in my arms once we were done. I start stroking her mane. “Life and taboos cannot separate us.” we both say simultaneously.

“It's like you two were meant to be!” Sweetie squeaks. “I like that.”

“Indeed” both Rarity and Rainbow say, and now that the case was resolved, I sit back on my bed and I put Scootaloo back down, beside me. Alex goes back to using the computer and Sweetie does what she does, jump up and down on Alex’s mattress. Rainbow goes back to talking to Rarity, and a knock on the door is followed by “Brendan! You forgot your drink!”

I hop up and get the door, and Matt is standing there with my Frappe in his left hand, and his milkshake on his right. He stretches his left arm and I receive my Frappe. I nod with a “Thanks” and we part.

After turning around once I had shut the door, I grabbed my watch to check on the time; 10:36. I quickly take my jacket off and I unpack my belongings, before walking over to my bed. I take off my shoes at the base of the bed and hop under the covers. Scoot does the same, and the others get the hint that we are after sleep, so everyone in the house prepares for rest. Rarity and Rainbow walk into the next room to get their own sleep, and Alex shuts off his laptop, and settles in his bed, which is to the left of mine, in my perspective.

“I guess free things are actually alright, don't you think?” Alex mutters from his bed, signifying that he thinks the bed is comfy.

“Sometimes,” I reply, “free is the only way to go. It's our freedom, you see…”

“Yeah. Goodnight, my King,” he jokes, before making his way to his slumber.

“Goodnight Sweetie Prince,” I mockingly respond, “and goodnight to Sweetie and Scoot.”

Both ponies wish us a good night simultaneously, before I close my eyes and battle the depths of sleep.

~~~

The morning light shines into my closed eyes, which forces them to open. The concentration at first makes me squint for a bit, before I can fully open them. I yawn quietly and look to my right side.

As expected, Scootaloo isn't th-

...wait. Where is she?!

I panic internally, and frantically get ready to shout the others awake at her disappearance, before a thud in my side instead let's out a wince, and I look to my left.

Now as expected, Scootaloo is there. She's looking up at me in disappointment and confusion, most likely wondering I panicked when I saw my right side.

“What the hell was that for, Scoot?” I ask.

“You looked panicked when you realised I wasn't to your right. I had to knock some sense into you.” she replies.

“It's the morning. Lay me off.”

She lowers her eyelids slightly and gives me a smirk.

“IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH.” I shout, waking up Alex and Sweetie.

“Блять! What was that?” Alex tiredly asks.

“Sorry. I was given suggestions a-”

I am interrupted by a singing Ukrainian. “Running the ships ashore, the orange light that follows…”

He continues singing the remainder of the verse, and by then both mares had tiredly stumbled in. They have no idea what the scene is in the room, but they seem to be soothed by Alex’s singing.

Once he has finished his verse, a long awkward silence takes the room. Everyone starts looking at each other as in to say something, and I do the same.

After a few more moments of silence, I turn around and even more awkwardly say, “ASPARAGUS!”

The room, albeit me and Alex bursts into laughter at the sheer randomness concocted by me. I just look at Alex and shrug my shoulders.

He rolls his eyes at me and winks.

I mouth, “What was that for?”

He does the same back to me, “You'll see…”, and he winks again.

Once I find out that two plus two is equal t-

I've done that before…

…+1 for original phrases to describe realisation.

Anyways, the gears working in my head come to a stop, as I soon discover what Alex has done. I take a quick whiff of the air. Yep. Love was in the air last night. I can't really blame him, then again I was the first. Unless that isn't what he was mentioning, then I've no clue of what to make of the situation.

Once everyone has recovered from their little bursts of laughter, we get our things together and make our way out of the door, before a phone call is received by Alex. He mutters his preferred swear under his voice in his native language.

He turns to me, “It's from Milos...”

“Is that bad?” I ask.

“He says it's urgent…”

13: Milos Novaković

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Thirteen: Milos Novaković

“Pick the fucking phone up then!” I start to panic. Milos never really talks to us in urgency, but this is a rare case.

Milos Novaković is someone who was part of our secondary school, but he went off to study in Newcastle. We still talk every now and then, but if he says it's urgent, then it's bad. Milos is normally laid back, chilled, and not really bothered about anything minor, but this means urgency.

Alex picks up the phone and starts talking to him, in Ukrainian, for that. Translations will be given in brackets.

“Привіт?” he picks up. {Hello?}

After a brief gap, he says something again: “Ти жартуєш…” {You are kidding…}

Another interval: “Нас теж.” {We also/Us too}

Another long interval: “Ні лайно…” {No shit}

A brief interval: “Конвенція?” he asks. {Convention?}

An agreement must've been made: “Гаразд. До зустрічі, Милос.” {Okay. See you, Milos.}

He hangs up and turns to us. “Milos is on his way here as we speak, and he says that he's with a mare and and filly too.”

My expression goes blank. “Does he know their names?”

“He says the little one is called AppleBloom, and the older one, AppleJack.”

All the ponies in the room seem excited by the two sisters’ arrival, and I just seem surprised at their coexistence in England. I quickly hijack Alex’s computer, much to his protest, and I look up news in Newcastle. As expected, Milos, AppleBloom and AppleJack is on the front cover as they announce that he's going to the convention in Liverpool. They also write if that me, Alex, and our ponies will oppose them.

Obviously we know the answer to that.  Of course not! Why fight just because we have similar life problems, when we can help each other get through it?

It's the perfect plan. And he's arriving in a few hours too! Let's take the Wirral a storm!!!

...is that too enthusiastic about a bunch of ponies? Well, I can't really tell because of how long I've been with four, so, er, ummm…

...FUCK IT!

The hotel room goes back to its usual state: me using my phone on my bed beside Scoot, Alex on his laptop with Sweetie bouncing beside him, and Rarity and Rainbow chatting on the side. During the hours in which we waited for Milos, I went out and bought myself another Iced Frappe, and it certainly worked me to proper awakening. I went ahead and bought Alex a 7Up, in which he thanked me for. I also managed to do a little research on how Milos’ attitude is in recent years, and from what I could tell, it's the same as from what I remember from secondary school, back in London.

As for why we went our separate ways, that I am not sure of.

After about two hours Milos calls again, and as usual, they speak in Ukrainian again.

Alex picks up and again, “Привіт.” {Hello?}

A brief moment passes, “номер 203, та.” {Number 203, yes.}

From his tone of voice he must be here very soon: “Гаразд. До зустрічі, Милос.” {Okay. See you, Milos.}

He turns to me again, “Give him five minutes.” he says.

So during the little time we had, we managed to beaten up the hotel room, and, believe it or not, after five minutes he arrived.

“Hello once again, Brendan and Oleksandr.” he formally greets. He's wearing a blue pool t-shirt and a pair of grey jeans, and his hair has been grown a bit from last time, which goes to just under his eyes. His hands are in his pockets and he seems to have picked up the Newcastle accent a bit.

I stand there and wave, not wanting to cause a fuss. Alex does the same.

Soon, both AJ and her little sister burst in and immediately start catching up with the other mares and fillies here.

My… fucking… ears. They must've burst ten-fold from the volume of the three fillies. I can't hear myself breathe!

Then again they're young, and they haven't seen each other in seven months. Maybe not young, but teenagers can be very noisy.

So have the older mares, who are now on the floor in the corner, discussing things.

I look around. Not one of the ponies that have been with Milos has said hello to us. Great…

...not fucking recognised, that's the bloody point.

I feel somewhat left out as soon as Alex and Milos start having, yet another conversation in their native language, and I just decided to go back on my phone.

Phone, you are my only friend sometimes…

After about twenty minutes, I decided to check the time, 10:24. The convention starts at around 13:30, so we have a few hours to prepare and get there. It's convenient that the building it's being hosted in is about a five minute walk away.

I'm lost in a realm of deep musing, until a, “Howdy.” wakes me up inside.

I sit up and look at who was greeting me, and AJ is looking up, wondering why I am not fully focused.

“Y'alright there sugarcube? Ye look a bit dazed…”

I shrug it off and hop out of bed, “I should be good. It's normal for me, so don't question it.”

I go to step down, and I almost crush AppleBloom in the process. I felt the fur under my foot, thinking it was the carpet, and went to press down, before I heard a quiet, “Stop it…”

I foot recoiled and I looked down at where my foot had been placed: on her stomach.

...oops.

No wonder she said it quietly…

Wait…

“Be careful, she's sensitive…”

I turn around to shoot a death-threatening glare at the apple mare, who is giving me a smug look.

Scootaloo butt's into our conversation with a smooth line, “Be careful, he's mine…” She turns around and shoots a smug look at AJ, and she gives the same glare I delivered.

I look at the orange pegasus and shoot a quick wink, and I turn back and step down onto the carpet.

“At least the room is cleared up…” I quickly thanked mine and Alex’s work before stumbling over to Alex, who is using the laptop with Milos by his side.

“So, uhhh, being celebrities and all, should we get to the convention early?” I quickly ask the two men, who appear to be occupied by Europa Universalis Four.

Alex looks up at me and then checks the time on his laptop. “Yeah, we could go get something to eat from the McDonald's across the building whilst we're at it too.”

“Not anything too meaty; they're herbivores.” Milos turns around to me.

“That,” I reply, “er, kinds defeats the whole point of going there. McDonald's is a burger restaurant for a reason…”

“It's not really a restaurant, is it?” Alex states.

“It says s- WHY DO WE CARE!? Let's just go.” I quickly burst out.

Milos nods his head, so I gather the ponies up for the trip to the convention, we all gather our belongings, and we depart the hotel, locking our rooms up behind us.

14: Конвенція

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Fourteen: Конвенція

Our first step into the open, but not so fresh air was relieving to say the least. I'd never felt so relaxed before in my entire life, and since everything has slipped my mind, I-

...my God…

I've completely lost everything in replacement for fame. My part time job has been taken, I'm very behind in my Uni work. Eh, well, take a bullet for the team.

I continue walking down the road with Alex and Milos, and the Crusaders and their older sisters trail behind. I can hear the snapping of photography from the distance, but nothing’s gonna stop me now!

After a twenty minute walk, we reach the convention building, and a massive surge of cheer and applaud engulfs our ears. I've never been this cheered before by people I don't know. Then again why would people, from out of some kind of blue (heheheheh), just start cheering me if I weren't famous in this town, hmm?

Anyways, so there I was, standing at the entrance to the building, being applauded by a bunch of who I presume are bronies, and soon a wave of autograph signings took place. I signed this kids shirt which had a picture of Scootaloo on the front, and she signed it too. A lot of paper wad signed, and some images and gifts were received by the gang. For now, we will not go into details of these gifts because there may be complications…

After signing a bunch of people's stuff, we walk to the ticket stand, present our tickets, and walk to our panel room to set up. Tables were set at the front of the room, with all the special technology, like a projector, microphones, and nine seats behind the tables laid out. Rows upon rows of chairs are sat in front of the panel, around 500, if I were to make a guess on this spot.

After about an hour of clearing up, me and Alex went off to get some drinks for everyone, as the panel started in around 30 minutes. We found a shop selling many drinks inside, I bought a Pepsi, Alex bought a 7Up, we bought Milos a Banana Yazoo (milkshake beverage), and a fuck ton of water for the girls.

We arrived and all hid backstage, as we could hear a crowd already collecting. I went to the announcer and panel host to announce me, Scoot, and Dash as one part, Alex, Sweetie, and Rarity after, then Milos, AppleBloom, and AJ last (but not least).

So the host of the panel, who went by the name of Andy McLean, went up on stage. “Welcome to the panel.” he blurted, obviously meaning he had nothing to say. “I am with three famous men and six famous ponies from our fandom, and we shall get running.” he checks with the technician if everything is operating before going on to introduce us.

“Firstly, we have the man, the Dead Man Walking, the Dane, Brendan Andersen!”

I begin to clap and walk on.

I trip, and the crowd, though concerned, begin to laugh.

…

I mumble profanity under my breath and turn to the crowd. “It always happens! It may be a first time at a convention, but it always happens!”

The crowd begin to laugh and applaud my wackiness. I sit down and speak up.

“So I'm the Dead Man Walking huh? Well, this Dead Man has two fine mares along with him, obviously. You've seen us on our way here, and now is about time to, er, officially, yeah, officially introduce them to this brilliant community. First up. I bring Scootaloo.”

The aforementioned pony trots onto the panel stage and takes the seat beside me. The crowd starts clapping when she sits down. “And for my other mare, the one who actually beat me to a bloody pulp. In a twisted way, if she didn't almost murder me, this wouldn't happen. Rainbow Dash! Come on down!” I announce in a cheesy way.

She flies on and flips over the crowd before landing on her seat. With a slight smile bring to his face, Andy sits down.

“Now for the next man, the Ukrainian Gift, Oleksandr Zelenko!” he struggles to pronounce his name, but swiftly disregards.

Alex walks on casually amongst the audiences applause and goes you the mic. “The name is pronounced, ‘O-leks-an-dr Ze-len-ko, thanks.” He takes a seat. “Ukrainian Gift brings two gifts,” he simiarly announces, “First gift! Small unicorn. I-

...eh for fuck with it, Sweetie Belle!”

Another applaud as Sweetie walks on stage and takes her seat.

“Second gift!” he holds two fingers out, “Big unicorn. Sister of small unicorn. Rarity.” he blankly announces.

Glamorously, she trots onto the stage and carefully makes way to her seat.

Andy clears his throat. “Now we’ve had the two from Liverpool. It's about time for the one from Newcastle to come out. Milos Novaković!”

Milos walks on stage, and differently, AJ and her sister are following him.

“You didn't announce them formally,” I turn.

He proves his point: “Announcing them is like telling me that Darth Vader is Luke's father. About everyone knows that.”

“True…” I say.

“So panelists, Andy begins his question, “how did this happen?!”

“Okay. I'll be one to start as not a lot knows what actually happened. So it was a cold day on the Seventeenth of January 2020, about seven months ago… I arrived home from my part-time job and entered the house, where Alex almost had me cut. Not the best way to start your evening, being assaulted by your friend by mistake.”

The crowd laugh slightly.

“Anyways, when I got him to realise it was me, a pan fell from in the kitchen. So me and Alex, him with a knife in hand, went to investigate. When we discovered Scoot and Sweetie sleeping there, we both were stunned...

...stunned to the point where Alex dropped his knife blade first into my left foot. GOOD TIMES!”

The crowd chuckle slightly. I know I'm not good at telling stories, but this is the best I could do.

“So I snapped back into reality, and naturally I screamed in pain…

The fillies hear my scream and begin to stir.

Alex screams and runs into his room.

They have now woken up, and took a good look at me.

They scream.

Alex runs back in with an empty bottle of what was vodka in his hand. He sees them and screams again.

The three of them scream together.

Meanwhile, I'm standing there laughing aloud. They caught onto my laughing and they stopped and turned to me.

I laugh a bit more in a sarcastic tone, before quickly interrupting them from beginning to laugh themselves. “MY BLOODY FOOT!!!”

Boldly, the white one quickly jokes, “Quite literally.”

Alex and I scream together, and he grabs the now empty bottle and smashes it on his head.

They scream at our screaming.

...so once that little weird moment happened, Alex cleared his head, got me a flannel and we continued on  with our day. Sweetie seemed accustomed to jumping up and down on Alex’s bed.”

Sweetie blushes slightly and Alex quickly adds, “She still does…”

The crowd let out an ‘awwwww’ before going somewhat silent again.

“I don't know how Scoot and I got so close, but I'm guessing to was where we SPOKE FOR ABOUT AN ENTIRE NIGHT!” My sudden outburst makes the crowd slightly shocked, but me and Scoot are laughing, along with the panel.

“So after that we went up to the hospital, shamefully with the fillies in Alex’s bag-” I began to start before Sweetie interrupts.

“It smells atrocious in there, so don't go in Alex’s bag. It was pretty weird, right Scoot?”

“It was, yeah,” she agrees.

“So then they began to speak in the hospital in impatience, and we stormed home, where I gave a helluva rant. We then went to bed and the whole love element between Scoot and I began there.” I turn and ruffle Scoot’s mane and she giggles a bit.

“The next morning it escalated like a lift from there. I won't need to give details. Why would I? Ain't that personal?” I joke.

The crowd started applauding slightly.

“So after I go back to bed, and then Little Miss Rainbow ‘Bloodthirsty’ Dash comes along.”

“Well I thought you were hurting her, so I did what I did back then.”

“But if I hadn't have been so personal with Scoot then I'd be dead.”

“You're joking…” she doubts.

“I had a broken arm and leg, a ripped left knee, a ruptured vein, and I was choking on blood. Would that kill you if you did not know that was happening to you?” I explain fully.

The crowd gasp at the condition I was thrown into by Rainbow, a she apologises once again.

I let it slide.

Andy comes back to Milos and asks for his story.

He thinks for a moment, “Well…”

15: Milos' Story

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Fifteen: Milos’ Story

University is a bitch. Just saying that now. I cannot handle how incomprehensible everything is, and how unachievable their actual expectations are! Then again this is Newcastle, and I'd expect a twenty-four year old man ranting at us for not doing ‘our best’ if it were.

What I'm doing is perfectly fine: I'm doing the work that's needed, I have the money because of my part time job, and because I'm so far ahead, I can have the job.

So after being shouted at by our lecturer for the two hundred and fifty sixth time, yes I did count from the two years I've been here, I make my way home on a chilly March day.

The twenty minute walk from the ground isn’t too much to bother about, as the lateness of the night and the darkness and dullness of the street is not much to care about. If I could really describe the scenery, it would be that the shops’ luminescent lights are glowing in the street, the snow crunching under my feet the only steps of the road, the shutters closing from some restaurants and corner shop making the only mechanic noise. The street lights, glowing a bright orange lead my way to my house by the river. The Tyne is slightly frozen, but it truly has no purpose but to supply some water to Newcastle.

Anyways, my way to my house comes to an end as I, miraculously, reach my front door. I pull my keys out and go to unlock the door.

I wasn't expecting an orange pony with a blonde mane and a brown stetson to open the door upon my arrival, and say, “Howdy.” I also wasn't expecting for there to be a smaller, cream coloured one with a red mane and a pink bow in it, hopping in place behind her.

I am aware that I know that miracles happens, but shit like this makes you think you're tripping. Hard.

I go to step into the passageway before the orange mare speaks up, “Hello?”

So we're following sapient ponies now. I am gonna have a good talk to someone I vaguely know when I can.

I lift my hand and give it a wave. “Hello,” I repeat, without the questioning tone.

The little one also speaks up, “Hello, tall thing that can talk.”

I chuckle a little. “You couldn't think of anything else?” I ask. Before letting her answer, I speak up again. “My name is Milos, and this is my house.”

“So you live in this house?” the orange one asks.

I nod. “You've got my name. Now I want yours.”

The orange one looks back and turns to me. “Yeah sorry mister. My name is AppleJack. Excuse my little sister, AppleBloom, too.”

I mentally take note of their names and I walk into the house.

I formally give them a tour before returning back to my room, and I make sleeping arrangements. That guest room that I haven't converted always comes in handy sometimes, whether you find a passed out friend on the street during your walk back, or whether you want to, er…

I have no other use for it than to let drunk friends get rest. Then again it's only this one guy who ends up in that state, and I heard he's going through rehab to stop the addiction.

Looks like he took my advice well.

Anyways, I go to my calendar on my phone and check the date. It reads, ‘January the 21st, 2020.’

No biggie, I can look after them.

Immediately taking words back isn't what I like to do, but holy shit I really cannot cope with this. I've been watching the news recently more often with the girls, but with an empty fridge, and nothing else to do, aside from using the computer, which I got really tired of, hey.

I zone out for a brief moment until I hear shouting from my left side.

“THE OTHER CRUSADERS ARE IN THIS COUNTRY!!!”

I snap back. I stare at the screen for a moment.

“Heh, Rarity and Rainbow are here too. Apparently they're being looked after by, er, Olekzar…” she stutters to pronounce the name on screen.

They're easy. Brendan Andersen and Oleksandr Zelen-

...kooooh my God…

My friends from secondary school are in the same situation.

I really start to engage myself in this news report and it reports them being in Liverpool, where they were when I last checked, and that Brendan is in hospital.

‘Why is Brendan in hospital?’ I think to myself.

“Rainbow Dash doesn't think ahead, so I guess she's the one who did it.” AJ says, answering my question, which was quite frankly thought aloud.

“Those two men are my friends, the two older ones are your friends,” I point to AJ, “and the little ones are friends with AppleBloom.”

They've taken their announce to the world, and it's taken them positively so far.

Suddenly, Brendan, who is in the hospital chair, just sits up, looks to his left, then right.

He waves at the camera with a smirk as it focuses on him.

“Sup.” And with that he falls back asleep again.

What the fuck was that? He just, ugh… I need to think straight...

...I know what to do. Follow in their footsteps and our lives can be built from scratch.

It wouldn't surprise me if they never find out until I phone them. I know them, and I know they don't read the news.

Okay. I wasn't expecting this much of an uproar in Newcastle compared to the one in Liverpool, but it appears we're evenly matched. Our lives have gotten much better since I announced their existence, and I have no more than the sisters to thank. I've learnt that AppleBloom is 16, and that AJ is 23, so there's no real dispute. I can always pick.

Why am I even considering dating one of them? I'm a human being who should love other human beings, for fucks sake. Then again, it could happen…

There's a chance…

...and then I heard of the convention here and here I am!” Milos finishes his story.

The audience, now given the story of Milos, claps slightly, before the panel host turns to them.

“Okay, we’ll take questions one at a time at the microphone set up here, and please queue behind it. Well try to get through as many as we can, so don't be too long.”

Well, here we go...

17: Moving Day

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Seventeen: Moving Day

Sitting in a car on the way to Norwich with two other people and six other ponies must be a bore, but being me, I'm always prepared, and my music player is running smoothly on my phone. The current song, ‘A City in Florida’, quietly drumming into my ears, seems to fit the fast motion of the scenery on the outside. Alex is sitting to my left, tapping on his lap, and on his left, Sweetie Belle. To my right, you guessed it, Scootaloo, and to her right, Rainbow Dash. Rarity, AppleJack, AppleBloom, and Milos are sitting opposite, and the driver is in the drivers seat. Where else would he be? Me and Scoot are sharing this pair of earphones, and Alex and Milos have their own pairs, where Milos has his shared with AJ, and Alex having his to himself.

The journey consisted of a seven hour car journey, with a couple of stopovers to allow toilet breaks, food stops, and, of course, saying hello to fans at those stops. The actual car journey was around five hours, but when you have waiting fans along your way…

“So,” Milos spoke up, “how do you think doing this will benefit us?”

“Firstly,” answered Alex, “we have our own property for all nine of us to be at peace.”

“I can professionally get a job now that I'm fixed, but it's not like I need one, eh?” I added.

“You may as well, more money for us, huh?”

“True,” both me and Alex replied.

“Where is the new house?” Scootaloo asked us eventually.

“It's in a place called Norwich.” I responded.

“Is that a different country!?” Sweetie Belle then also asked.

“No it's not,” Alex replied to her.

A sigh of disappointment shakes the three crusaders.

“At least it's somewhere different than where we were.” Milos tries to excite them.

“There's a massive garden too!” Rainbow excitedly says.

“And a fabulous view too.” Rarity says happily.

“Well, that's what the photos showed us,” AJ says truthfully.

Now a different song drums into my ears. Upbeat, very bass-oriented, and in general one of my favourite song. If I can enjoy a song like this, then so can other people who are into dance music like me. There is around an hour left of car travel before we actually encounter our new house and unpack. Those details won't be very important, so we can just skip ahead…

...I feel like I've just broken the fourth wall again. Eh, not an unusual occurrence, so fuck it.

Anyways, skip ahead another day, and arrangements are made:

The house comprises of two floors, with four rooms on each floor. The rooms are equally divided in space, and on the top back two rooms there is, more of a curtain, than a wall. For that reason I proclaimed the far top left room, and Alex claimed the far top right. Milos has a separate room, the near top right room, and the bathroom is by mine. Doesn't help that I got first pick, and that there is a direct door from my room to the bathroom.

Far left room on the bottom floor is the kitchen, and the one to the right of that is the living and dining room. The front room is one big room, where we can all mess about for all we care. We mainly use it for the ponies, but I digress. The walls are coated in a mint green and brown combination, and the ceiling is a smooth shade of cream.

My room has a balcony on the outside too, which looks on into the large field we have for a garden.

So I am sitting at my computer, Alex is most likely at his, and from what I can tell outside the crusaders are playing around in the garden, and AJ is setting up a mini apple farm in the far corner. Milos is taking a nap on the sofa downstairs, and Rarity is sorting his room out. Heavens know where RD is; she's most likely that high up.

As the night approaches the new household of Andersen, Zelenko, and Novaković, the Crusaders, and Rainbow, come back down into the house to stay safe from the dark. Though this place may be isolated, albeit the nine of us, we feel that we should keep them in, just in case people do find us.

I sit down at my computer and turn it on, and Alex rolls the curtain to disclose our separate rooms.

I turn to him and compliment, “Your room is looking decent.”

“Yours too,” he returns.

“Cheers,” I reply, “how do you think life will pan out now that we've got the money for it?”

“And the qualifications,” he adds, “I think life will be great.”

“Yeah,” I slowly nod my head in agreement, “it will.”

I load up LMMS again, and turn away from the screen, and I stare at the wall, whilst sitting on my bed.

Alex has the same program loaded up, and he's doing the same.

He turns to look at me. “You trying to listen for inspiration too?” he asks.

“Yeah. I gotta get something out…” I respond.

“I'll get us our usual drinks, I'll be back.” He gets up and walks to the kitchen.

I close my eyes and think for a bit. ‘Great… my life has been brilliant, hasn't it?’

My thought seemed to have been said aloud, as Scootaloo replies with a, “It's certainly changed since we arrived. I'm just starting to miss home.”

I turn to face her. She seems worried that she may never see PonyVille again.

“I know how you feel Scoot, I moved to Liverpool, by leaving my family and belongings behind. I know what's it's like to miss an entire town. For hell I miss Transport for London bus and train services.” my face goes straight. “If there was a way, I would help with i-”

Before I can finish my sentence, she rushes off. I have no clue what that was about...

16: Graduation (somehow)

Chickens and Mallows

Written by RB101

Chapter Sixteen: Graduation (somehow)

Questions were taken and answered, and the convention went pretty well. Some of the questions involved our ideas on how the ponies arrived, what they do to pass time, if the Crusaders go Crusading in this world, and how I got close to Scoot. I, obviously, did not reveal the entirety of the legacy, as the reader can probably tell (holy shit Brendan broke the fourth wall again).

Aside from that, me and Alex returned to our accommodation and Milos went back to his house in Newcastle. All of the fundraising has given us quite a lot, and when I mean quite a lot, I mean enough to buy a three bedroom house in Norwich, large enough for all nine of us, in an isolated location. That costs us around £650,000, and we still had £100,000 left. That would be enough for supplies for a while, and to move everything from here to there won't be too much, surely. At most £100 for us, and £125 for Milos.

That's how our future pans out after graduation day, which is tomorrow. Welcome to the Fifteenth of July, 2020, lads and ladies.

Anyways, we have packed everything away and we are beginning to move it all, and we are preparing to get some rest for the party tomorrow. I hop into my bed and Scoot follows, Alex has gotten into his bed and so has Sweetie. Rainbow and Rarity hop onto our chairs and fall asleep straight away.

I turn to Scoot. “Tomorrow,” I address, “for me, is a big day. It's the day where we get out of this house and go into the real world.”

“So it's the end of your schooling days,” she replies, “Real life will be fun for us.” She winks.

I chuckle a bit. “Sure,” I roll my eyes.

“Goodnight Brendan.”

“Night Scoot. Love ya.”

“Love you too.”

The rays of sunlight shine into the window as the morning has begun to awaken. The household of Mr. Andersen and Mr. Zelenko is lively, in celebration, and the residents are preparing to make their way into the graduation hall.

Our belongings now sent off, and fully packed away, I lock the door and leave the flat for the final time. Goodbye, beige carpet. (Heh) Goodbye, blood stain on the kitchen floor. Goodbye, old memories, and new.

Walking into the graduation hall immediately begins with a rupture of cheers and applause shake the hall as soon as we walk in. The ponies follow suit, and we all look confused.

With a single hand movement, I silence the crowd. “Excuse my profanity, but what the fuck was that?”

The head of the university walks to us. “Brendan and Alex.” he politely addresses, “You two have made and wonderful journey with us. And what more to say that you have all successfully completed the courses in flying colours.”

I look over to Rainbow and quickly wink.

The manager catches on and laughs. “Of course.” he smiles. “Speaking of courses, do you two mind walking up with me to collect them?”

Me and Alex make our way to the end of the hall, and we walk onto the stage in confidence. The audience is applauding and the head turns to us.

He mouths the words “Thank you.” before presenting us with our qualifications. We happily accept them and turn to the microphone standing on the same stage.

“Okay.” I begin. “We joined you here in 2019. We were two friends from London, unaware of life here in Liverpool, but we focused on what was important, our studies.”

Alex takes over, “But this life has taken a drastic turn. For starters, look at who we have accompanied with us!”

The crowd erupts again, and the ponies all bow. Rainbow jumps into the air with a hoof-pump instead.

“Heh.” I look over. “You're right to punch the air.” I change my tone and facial expression to a serious one. “Punching the air with the same hooves in which you almost murdered me.”

A gasp.

“Can you stop rubbing it in before I do it twice?”

“In which I would rub it in twice as hard.”

The crowd goes insane as Alex does it again: “OOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!”

With a sly look, I turn back to the audience. “I may not have introduced myself properly, but you know me already.” I clear my throat, which silences the crowd again. “My name is Brendan Andersen, and I am the Dead Man Walking.”

“And I am Oleksandr Zelenko, the Ukrainian Gift.”

The crowd applauds us.

“Thank you for your non-existant contribution into ruining our lives. That has been done already, but it took a turn for the better. Me personally, I have no clue how I received these qualifications when for the majority of them I've been either sick, in hospital, knocked out, or all three. I'm not complaining, I'm just confused as to how I got them.”

I signal that Scoot and Sweetie should go to the microphone to say something.

I step aside to allow the two to get to the podium. "And now a word from our sponsors."

A small giggle is heard from the crowd.

They gallop onto the podium and hop onto the top, by the mic.

“HI!!!” they say simultaneously.

The crowd says hello back.

“You know us already,” Sweetie says, “but let's just remind ourselves, right?”

The crowd nods.

“I am Scootaloo, and this is Sweetie Belle.” Scoot reminds them.

“We are the reasons why you respect them, and it's a hard job to maintain that.” Sweetie trails.

“And we hope you've enjoyed our limited time here.” Scoot finishes.

The crowd gives them a standing ovation as they hop off of the podium.

I smile and start laughing awkwardly, which silences the crowd.

“ASPARAGUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Laughter consumes the room.

Alex starts to ward me off. “ So, uh, yeah, СПАСИБІ, ДОБРАНІЧ І УДАЧІ!” {Thank you, goodnight, and good luck.}

He quickly ushers us all outside and the celebration takes itself outside. The crowd is left flabbergasted as to the occurring events.

I mean, I found it quite boring in there, so hey, it isn't that bad.

Besides, ‘Boredom is like a virus. It slowly takes over your body and mind, and deteriorates your essence of humanity, whilst leaving your unwanted body to starve for help and care, only to receive more of said pain, and it slowly banishes you to hell…’

Don't ask me the true meaning of that. It's complicated to explain…

This is the word of a younger me. I wrote it in another fiction, which I cannot post on this website for the reasons of breaking the rules. So that's half a loss and half a protection thingy. Woohoo!!!

Great minds and great lives make a really fucked up mess of spaghetti, and a shit ton of complications…

Well, not exactly…