Princess Down

by PseudoFiction

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 6237

Lance Corporal Sure-Shot meets some of the guardsponies from the Twilight Guard… and regrets it shortly after.

Lance Corporal Sure-Shot – a unicorn fresh out of the Sol Guard academy, intended to be one of Princess Celestia’s elite protectors – is transferred to Shield Team of the Twilight Guard. Under Corporal Steel Block and accompanied by privates Mercury and Brute Force, the lance corporal will serve as Princess Twilight Sparkle’s elite close-guard on a diplomatic mission to Saddle Arabia.

And in keeping with the usual 'first mission' tradition, all sorts of dookie hits the fan.

Rated Everyone for the lulz.

Published 2016-06-09 21:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-09 21:10:01 UTC

Princess Down

The problem with being in the Royal Guard was all the common misconceptions other ponies had of you.

Take the pegasus on the airbase on loan to the Equestria Royal Guard from the Saddle Arabian sultan as a prime example. Being a Twilight Guard pegasus, there were a great deal of assumptions made about him.

The general population of Equestria thought he was one of those mean-faced, gruff voiced, lavender clad stallions who never smiled, who groomed with immaculate care and flew high risk missions for the protection of the nation and her princesses in far off foreign lands.

The pegasus’ parents thought he spent all day playing soldier with miniatures, him and his buddies laying out their silly battle strategies that would never be deployed. They knew full well Equestria would never go to war with her neighbours.

His friends thought he ran around smacking high-hooves with his fellow Twilight Guard all day just like in that corny old movie about the Wonderbolts.

Even the pegasus had preconceptions about himself, thinking he ought to be out on some sun baked airfield, walking in slow-mo and looking cool with his helmet tucked under a wing and aviator sunglasses on.

All those assumptions were of course false. As it turned out, the pegasus was a military-grade desk-jockey. A quill-pusher. A desk-clerk.

Though the official term was ‘desk officer,’ it was just a fancy title for a pegasus in the field of ‘hey, you, get me some coffee, black, no sugar.’

So there the desk officer sat. A pegasus pony seemingly permanently grounded, wearing dress fatigues with his neglected armour stacked in one corner, trapped in a stuffy admin office in the back end of Saddle Arabia with only a buzzy old fan and stacks of orders, transfer papers and unfiled air recon sortie reports to keep him company. At least, that was only until the wooden lattice door was suddenly pushed open.

It swung into the room lit brightly by the scorching sun beaming through the single window behind the desk officer’s desk to reveal a young unicorn stallion framed in the doorway. He was Royal Guard to be sure, judging by his straight posture and field equipment. He had a light grey coat, his white-grey tail cropped short and his mane buzz-cut at the looks of it. Perched on the unicorn’s head was a lavender baseball-cap, a hole in the forehead making space for his horn. Worn over his body instead of the standard plate armour was a light desert-recon outfit. Lightly armoured boots and a plate carrier containing light ceramic inserts, coloured light purple as was the Twilight Guard uniform requirement. Adorning his flanks was an imitation of the cutie-mark of the princess in their charge, a purple six-pointed star, and strung across the plate carrier were a set of saddle-bags and a handy document pouch pinned to his chest.

The only non-issue gear on the unicorn was his scarf, a red and white shemagh wrapped around his neck to keep the relentless sun from burning his neck off.

Marching in and gently closing the door behind him with an amber glow of his magic, the unicorn guardspony stomped to attention in front of the pegasus. His horn’s light did not extinguish as his magic manipulated a small stack of papers from his document pouch and unfolded them for the desk officer.

Despite all professionalism in his appearance and stature, the young unicorn couldn’t help wear a mighty grin as he announced himself.

“Lance Corporal Sure-Shot reporting for duty, sir!”

Without so much as a ‘hello,’ the more sombre pegasus desk officer snatched the papers out of the air and started scrolling down a personnel list clipped to a board at his side.

“Lance Corporal… lance corporal…” Eventually the desk officer’s pen paused halfway down the list. “Give me the name again?”

“Sure-Shot, sir!” the lance corporal barked.

“Ah.” The quill’s tip tapped the clipboard twice before he inked a tick-mark next to the relevant name. “There you are. You’re riding shotgun on the royal chariot today… at ease, kid,” he added off-handedly with a glance over the top of his reading glasses, noticing the unicorn was still standing to perfect attention. As he noticed Sure-Shot visibly relax, the pegasus continued to say, “I just have to sign you in and you’ll be ready to go. Are you rested?”

“Yes sir.” Lance Corporal Sure-Shot stood relaxed like that for a good while, watching the desk officer sign off on transfer orders in triplicate and made sure there were no errors. Eventually though, Sure-Shot couldn’t contain himself any longer.

“What’s it like sir?” he blurted out.

The desk officer didn’t look up from what he was doing. “What’s what like?”

“Saddle Arabia, sir,” Sure-Shot pressed excitedly. “The rebellion. The fighting!”

The desk officer stopped what he was doing and stared for a good while before he scoffed and returned to shuffling, checking and signing. All the talk of ‘fighting’ in Saddle Arabia between the sultan’s loyal forces and the rebellion seeded deep in the population was all rumour and hearsay. What some called a combat zone the desk officer called a sissy-fight. They were chucking rotten fruit, veg and pies at each other for crying out loud! The deadliest weapon of mass destruction in the rebel arsenal was the odd rock or brick.

There had been no real fighting of the swords and sorcery kind in the world for aeons. Heck, there had been no real use for the Royal Guard of Equestria for decades. Not really. Not since Princesses Celestia and Luna could handle anything thrown at them with their godlike power. Even the power of friendship and power of love proved more powerful than a guardspony division geared for assault.

The field of battle had changed. It had evolved from brutish warfare to careful diplomacy, friendship and threat of annihilation by a sun controlling princess… yeah, it was exactly like the guardsponies often joked about in the barracks.

‘When you control the sun, stuff gets done!’

“I wouldn’t know,” the pegasus said to answer Sure-Shot’s eager question. “Nopony on base would.”

Sure-Shot looked confused. “Why not, sir? Aren’t there any hooves in the sand? Shouldn’t we be taking the fight to them and keeping the peace?”

The desk officer let out an almighty sigh as he stopped everything, slamming his quill into the desk and blotting the surface with some excess ink. Locking eyes with the young unicorn he lowered his voice to sound deadly serious, hoping his point may finally drill through the lance corporal’s thick, un-educated skull.

“You look like you’re out the academy, what? One, maybe two weeks? So let me Fisher Price this for you. The Twilight Guard is not to be engaging in hostilities with Saddle Arabian rebels. Our job is to escort Princess Twilight Sparkle to the sultan’s palace, and once she’s had her little friendship summit we run her back to the safety of Equestria. Royal Guard do not fight. We look good.”

About done making his point and hoping his tone did the trick, the pegasus finished ticking the boxes, signed the dotted line with his name and the date, then straightened up looking quite proud of himself. Paperwork had become something of an art for him.

During Nightmare Moon’s scramble for the throne the second time, he had been filling out deployment forms in triplicate. When Discord struck he had managed to chase the dancing quills out of the room and finished the requisition forms for recon sorties of the Ponyville region. During the Changeling assault on Canterlot he had barricaded his office just long enough to finish up the incident report on how exactly the Changelings had snuck past Captain Shining Armour’s shield. When the Crystal Empire returned and Sombra threatened to enslave all ponykind he had been checking the orders for re-deployment of the Crystal Guard. And while Tirek was tearing Equestria a new one – let’s just say the coffee wasn’t going to make itself…

I think you get the point.

“There. Welcome to Arcane Regiment, the only one in the Twilight Guard thus far, but there’s time to grow, right? You’re temporarily assigned to the close protection team ‘Shield’ in Stonewall Company. Your team is on standby already. Bring these to Corporal Steel Block on the princess’ chariot.” The desk officer held up a stack of papers containing Sure-Shot’s identification and a field copy of his orders in one hoof. As he held them out, he reminded the lance corporal, “you didn’t sign up to the royal guard to fight, son. You signed up to be window dressing.”

His horn glowed amber as Sure-Shot took the papers from the desk officer and folded them neatly into the flat admin pouch mounted to his chest.

“That’s where you’re wrong sir,” Sure-Shot informed the desk officer calmly, a smile slowly spreading over his face.

With a cocked eyebrow the desk officer gave a gruff chuckle. “Is that so?”

“Yes sir.” Sure-Shot’s smile didn’t falter. “I signed up to kick butt.”

Sure-Shot was living the enlisted pegasus air-corps recruit dream as he walked onto the sun-baked strip, strutting in slow motion through the shimmering heat between the parked chariots, sunglasses tinting his eyes and his tac-gear in immaculate combat-ready status. All he was missing were his wings and a few buddies to smack high-hooves with.

The royal chariot of friendship as kind of a misleading name, as the chariot was originally requisitioned and built by the Solar Guard to transport civilians and high-value targets. It was a basic two wheeled golden model, pulled by a single pegasus and dressed by a pair of wing designs along the flanks and Princess Celestia’s cutie-mark decorating the front.

The chariot stood idle on the tarmac, inhabited by a trio of earth-ponies in similar garb to Sure-Shot. They all had off-white fur and lavender coloured armour, interlocking heavy plates as opposed to the light plate carrier Sure-Shot wore. Their helmets rested on their backs and they carried “iron-wing” shields on magical mounts affixed to their left shoulders.

Despite the bulk of their typical earth-pony musculature and heavy armour, Sure-Shot was surprised to see there were still plenty of space to move about on board the chariot.

Marching right up to the open back of the chariot, the unicorn stood to attention and saluted. “Lance Corporal Sure-Shot reporting to Shield team as ordered, sir!”

The biggest of the trio, an earth-pony of immense promotions turned his head and wore a smile one might expect of a typically friendly giant. “Orders?”

Sure-Shot did his best not to be thrown off-guard by the mighty rumbling voice of the giant and produced his paperwork. The earth-pony gave it a quick once over and immediately nodded.

“Yeah, looks good. As you probably guessed, I’m Corporal Steel Block,” the giant introduced as he tucked away the lance corporal’s orders and gave back the ID-card. “That’s Private Mercury.”

The androgynous mare polishing her iron-wing with an old rag glanced over at the unicorn and flipped him a casual salute.

“The one with the dopey grin is Private Brute Force.”

Hopping down off the chariot the smallest of the trio, Private Brute Force, scooped up Sure-Shot’s front leg and shook his hoof vigorously like he was trying to break a water-pumping record. “Hiya, new fella! Welcome to the team. You look very well groomed. Is it your first day?”

Steel Block shook his head slowly, batting Brute Force in the side of the helmet and giving the new pony enough reprieve to restore feeling to his leg. “Don’t mind him. He gets over-excited before every operation.” Steel Block patted the floor of the chariot beside him. “Upsidaisy, lance corporal. We’re riding shotgun with Princess Twilight Sparkle as close protection, so be on your best behaviour. I’m lookin’ at you, Merc.”

The quiet mare scoffed. “Hey, I’m always on my best behaviour.”

“Agreed nopony with you, ever,” Brute Force chortled like a little colt, then suddenly stopped to think about whether what he’d said made sense or had been correct.

“Stand to, degenerates,” Steel Block ordered. “Princess on the deck!”

As the earth ponies straightened, Sure-Shot lifted the brim of his cap a little to watch. Strutting across the sun-baked air-strip like he had been doing earlier was a lavender mare. She was pretty in the cutest possibly way. Built like any other average mare, the alicorn had a lavender coat and darker purple mane and tail streaked with a single line of lighter pink.

“Talk about eye-candy,” Brute Force snickered, earning a face-to-face meeting with the back of Mercury’s armoured hoof.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was just eye-candy as Brute Force pointed out in his dreamy, doe-eyed state – and Sure-Shot would never know the stallion felt that way about every princess that crossed his line of sight. Were it not for the combination of the wings and a horn she might have been an average unicorn or pegasus.

She wasn’t the larger-than-life kind of girl you’d expect from a person of her station. Going by looks alone she was a ‘pony’s pony.’ Average fair. Conventionally handsome. She was only extraordinary if you counted her brains… and, you had to be close to her all the time to comment on anything to do with that. Something Sure-Shot couldn’t boast to be just yet.

This would be, in fact, the first princess whose presence he’d be in. In his first couple of months in Canterlot he hadn’t even laid eyes on Princess Celestia. He was a sharpshooter unicorn after all. He was reserved for sentry duty on the castle guard towers and posted on far off rooftops during any of Celestia’s out of doors functions.

The academy had trained him on how to react to being in the presence of royal alicorn; but it was one thing to train, another thing to apply yourself in the real world. And shield team’s greeting Princess Twilight Sparkle was anything but by-the-book.

“Top of the morning, princess,” Steel Block greeted with a chipper smile.

“Good morning, boys… oh, who’s this?” The princess smiled when her eyes fell on Sure-Shot.

The lance corporal opened his mouth to reply, but his tongue felt like it had shrivelled like a sun-dried prune. He honestly wasn’t entirely sure how to react anymore. Training told him to avert his eyes and bow. Steel Block’s example told him to introduce himself casually.

He was saved by Brute Force wrapping an arm around his neck. “This is Lance Corporal Sure-Shot,” the earth-pony replied. “Isn’t he well groomed!?”

“Uhh…”

The Saddle Arabia capitol looked quiet from the air. With their pilot, a pegasus mare code-named “Whiplash,” tethered to the magical chariot they zoomed over the flat rooftops and narrow streets. On the edge of the city directly to the north was the sprawl of the Saddle Arabian sultan’s palace, an enormous structure with bulbously designed parapets and towers of silver and gold.

The earth ponies of Shield were casually seated in a loose formation aboard the chariot. Twilight Sparkle was going over her notes for her meeting with the sultan and Sure-Shot never left her side. With his front legs hooked over the side of the chariot he looked down to watch the rooftops zoom by.

Something felt off for the unicorn. Something he couldn’t place his hoof on.

And by the time he realised all of the city’s streets were too quiet – abandoned in fact – it was too little too late.

He saw the missile close in rapidly and felt his eyes widen. He kicked himself for hesitating. Back int eh academy he never hesitated. Why should ne now? bucking himself into action he flung himself sideways and shoved Princess Sparkle to the deck while yelling “INCOMING!”

The cinderblock as big as Steel Block’s head launched from a rooftop unseen somewhere below collided with the chariot tow-bar. Sure-Shot had his eyes squeezed shut as the deck bucked like a mule trying to kick off a heavy pack. His stomach lurched and with a scream of frustration from Whiplash they dropped clean out of the air.

It was a blurry spiral downward. Cracking an eyelid he caught a flash of sky, then a blurry rooftop rapidly growing in his view. Sure-Shot blinked, then all he could see was purple and a pair of wide, panicked eyes.

Then they hit the ground.

…

So this is what an aerial crash feels like, Sure-Shot thought quietly in the darkness. Memories of air-corps pegasi in training at the academy going down hard bobbed through the murk of pain clouding his brain.

It felt topsy-turvy. Everything was upside-down, back-to-front and – most probably – inside-out. But more than that, it hurt. It hurt like hell! There was a volcano raging in his brain and a geyser going off somewhere in his gut. He tore open his eyelids and waited for the whiteout of light to fade.

As he lay there staring at the sky he could hear voices. Whiplash’s crackly voice cut through all the buzzing and ringing in his ears.

“… command, do you hear me!? Princess down! We have a princess down, we have a princess down!” She circled where they hit the street, banking through Sure-Shot’s peripheral vision without a single flap of her wings.

The reply came in a stallion’s gruff and crazy-calm voice. “Solid copy, Whiplash. This is Sergeant Major Buckshot. I need you to calm down and give me a sit-rep. What is Princess Twilight Sparkle’s status?” The sergeant major articulated like he was speaking to a filly having a panic attack.

In a way, Whiplash kind of was. The princess she was towing just went down hard, so the panic was kind of warranted. “Unknown! Unknown command! Her status is unknown!”

“Stand by for plan of action.” The sergeant’s calm voice continued reassuringly. “Whiplash, begin orbiting the crash site and feeding intel.”

“Copy! Don’t worry, command, I’m all over it!”

A pair of hooves grabbed Sure-Shot and shook him hard enough to clear what was left of the groggy mist gumming up the brain-works. Blinking hard, the lance corporal stared into Mercury’s androgynous features.

“Shake it off, pretty-boy!” she cried, forcefully pulling the unicorn to his hooves before speaking into her armour’s ballistic collar. “Sarge, Shield Team reporting in. We’re green! Full status on the princess to follow.”

“Copy Shield. Secure the crash site for CSAR.”

Only now did Sure-Shot get a good look at the chariot. It was a mess. The tow-bar had broken like a toothpick. One wheel had snapped off completely and was nowhere to be seen. The other hung in the air, spinning uselessly and missing several spokes. The entire right side of the chariot that had hit the ground was crumpled and splintered, turning the purple alloy into a twisted mess of metal like the remnants of tinfoil after the devouring of a packed lunch.

The sight of the vehicular carnage reminded him of something and reaching up, Sure-Shot touched his face. He expected his sunglasses to be there, and if they were twisted, shattered and/or broken he could have dealt with it. Unfortunately they were gone completely.

There’s two-hundred bits I’m never gonna see again, he thought with dismay. At least he still had his baseball-cap.

Sitting next to the chariot were Twilight Sparkle and Brute Force, both looking a little worse for wear. Like Mercury and Steel Block, Brute Force’s armour was dented and scuffed, but he still had his helmet on at least. Twilight looked frazzled, like she’d stuck her hoof in an electrical socket, then rolled around in the dirt for a while. Her feathers were ruffled and she held her right wing at an unnatural angle. Even her horn wasn’t right, visibly cracked down the side.

“Brute! How’s it look?” Steel Block asked while checking the surrounding area.

“Twilight’s got a splinter, a fractured horn and thoroughly ruffled feathers!” Brute Force reported, then added with more concern, “I’m particularly concerned about that splinter though. Those things can be nasty!”

“I’m fine, Brute Force,” Twilight Sparkle told the concerned stallion. “Nothing that won’t heal. Unfortunately I’m not going to be doing much flying or magic for a while.” She spread her sprained wing a little, winced, then folded it back down again.

Satisfied the princess under his charge was at least breathing and not brain-damaged, Steel Block reported into the enchanted collar of his armour. “Command, Princess Twilight Sparkle is mobile but injured. Teleportation and flight impossible. Scramble that CSAR ASAP.” As his voice was broadcast to Sergeant Major Buckshot, Steel Block looked to his team’s unicorn. “Sure-Shot, can you teleport the two of you out of here?”

Sure-Shot scoffed involuntarily. It was just sort of an automatic reaction to a request so ludicrous.

Teleportation was kind of a ‘master skill.’ Being proficient enough to teleport yourself and any other to a position beyond line of sight was a feat that required both great focus and skill, and was a proficiency reserved for very select, highly skilled unicorns. Needless to say while Sure-Shot was trained to be able to teleport himself within line of sight, doing Twilight Sparkle and himself was kind of… how to put this delicately… impossible.

“Do I look like a princess, sir?”

That got a chuckled out of Twilight Sparkle. That was good. Good spirits was a start.

“Can you walk, princess?” Sure-Shot asked her.

“Mm-hmm.”

Brute Force and Sure-Shot helping her onto her hooves, the lance corporal suggested, “We should vacate the area in case rebels are looking for us.”

Steel Block opened his mouth to agree when Whiplash interrupted him.

“Shield, Whiplash. I got hoof mobiles converging on the crash site from all sides. I give it two mikes ‘fore that chariot is overrun.”

“Sounds like there’s a party heading our way, Shield,” Brute Force said.

“Sounds like what I signed up for.” Sure-Shot charged his horn with a glow of amber light, earning an enthusiastic laugh from Mercury.

“Hoo-ah to that, new guy!”

Satisfied his guards were well enough riled up and motivated to shake the crash off and get their princess out of dodge, Steel Block gave a firm nod. “If we stay put we’ll be overrun. Our best bet is to keep moving. Whiplash, track our position for command and give us intel on the path ahead.”

“You got it, Shield. Start by heading west. If you’re quick you can slip into the next alley before the rebels box you in.”

“Let’s move, Shield. Let’s really move!”

With a hop, a skip, then a jump the ponies departed the wreckage of Twilight Sparkle’s once faithful chariot and sprinted into the street to their west. The street in Sure-Shot’s view bobbed and rocked as he ran ahead of the formation and kept his eyes peeled on the top of the road.

There he saw it… or rather them rounding the corner. A mob of Saddle Arabian ponies, all hefting bulging bags full of rotten fruit and vegetables, as well as the odd rock they intended to brain the Royal Guard and their princess with.

“Contact!” Sure-Shot yelled as he ran to the corner of a perpendicular alleyway and raised a magical barrier.

He got it up just in time before a hail of rocks and other projectiles came raining down on the ponies. The impacts sounded hollow, like they struck an empty metal vessel. None of them got through, but the mob of Saddle Arabian rebels still kept on chucking all their ammo.

Mercury, Twilight Sparkle and Steel Block slipped into the alley behind Sure-Shot in that order before Brute Force ran past, tapping the unicorn on the tac-vest. backing into hard cover, Sure-Shot dropped his shield and legged it.

In the rear now he watched Brute Force carefully so he wouldn’t get separated. They turned right, left, right again then followed a curved road towards the south that would hopefully take them all the way home unimpeded.

Their luck was not that good.

“Cover!” Steel Block suddenly shouted. His iron-wing fanned out and he pulled Twilight Sparkle behind him to form a physical barrier. Mercury lined up beside him and their shields interlocked in time to break a wave of rebel projectiles.

Sure-Shot bumped into Brute Force who did the same a few metres back, and the unicorn leaned around his battle-buddy to take shots at the rebels fifty metres ahead. Bolts of amber energy zipped from his horn, past his squadmates and smacked into the rebels. Most shots hit, knocking the rebels over and singing their eyebrows. Others swatted the ground by their hooves to either interrupt them mid-toss of a projectile, or breaking their nerve and making them turn tail and gallop for home.

“How we doing back there, kid?” Steel Block asked over the clatter of hard debris hitting his iron-wing.

Sure-Shot smirked. “Launching warheads from foreheads, sir! Bring ‘em on!”

While Sure-Shot thinned the herd, Steel Block pinged their eye in the sky again. “Whiplash! This area is crawling! What gives!?”

“Horseapples! Sorry, Shield. There’s sleepers all over the place! It’s impossible to tell who’s a rebel and who isn’t. You’ve drawn the attention of the main force and they’re bringing up your rear. You’d better get out of there quick.”

Sure-Shot scoffed. “Yeah, easier said than done!” He patted Brute Force on the back and sidled sideways behind a pile of crates. “Brute, I’ll cover you. Move up and secure Twilight’s rear.”

Nodding, Brute Force kept his shield fanned out and turned, galloping towards where Twilight Sparkle took cover. Only when he was halfway there something akin to a brick smacked into his exposed side. The clang of rock on metal grated on Sure-Shot’s eardrums and he saw the private stumble. His iron-wing became unlatched and clattered to the deck, but as if he didn’t notice, Brute closed the remaining distance between him and Twilight.

“Ponyfeathers!” Catching sight of the Saddle Arabian rebel on a rooftop he didn’t notice, Sure-Shot craned his neck to see if Brute Force was hurt. “Brute! Are you okay?”

Brute was either fine or he didn’t hear, because he got to his hooves again and ran back for his shield. At the same time the rebel on the rooftop readied to chuck another brick at him.

“No, don’t go back!” Sure-Shot aimed and unloaded a burst of energy at the rebel. One of the sparks hit the Saddle Arabian’s flank and poofed all his hair with static electricity before he dropped googly-eyed out of sight.

Looking back down he saw Brute had secured his iron-wing and made it back to Twilight Sparkle to secure her exposed side.

Breaking cover, Sure-Shot charged up behind them, charging his horn at the same time. The moment he reached the huddled squad turtling over the princess, he unleashed his largest bolt of magic of the day. It sailed over the heads of the rebels and hit a building behind them, exploding into a fantastic display of sparks and lights.

The firework spell wouldn’t hurt anypony so long as he didn’t launch it directly into their faces. But all the fire and explosions made one heck of a statement. Enough of a statement to break the rebel ranks and send them running for now.

Mercury laughed at the sight. “That’ll give ‘em something to think about!”

As they retracted their iron-wings to get moving again, Whiplash pinged in again. “Command says the extraction chariot is one mike out. We need to get you to higher ground.”

“Copy! Ascending now!” Steel Block reported leading the group to a cluster of debris piled up against a wall.

He clambered up some crates, over a loaded cart and then mantled to the rooftop. Mercury followed and they helped up Twilight Sparkle while Brute Force and Sure-Shot scrambled up at the same time.

The moment they were up, Sure-Shot looked back and spotted the main force of rebels that had been chasing them at the beginning had finally caught up. They hadn’t witnessed the fireworks spell and were pretty riled up to catch up to Shield.

“Contact rear!” Sure-Shot called putting some shots their way before following after the others.

It was a desperate dash to the finish for the five ponies as the rebels ascended after them. Looking to his side he could see a contingent of the lighter, faster Saddle Arabians – who were more familiar with the terrain as well – free running up their left flank. Sure-Shot fired some sparks at them on the run but the shots went wide. He couldn’t keep his focus steady while weaving between clay chimneys and jumping from roof to roof.

He looked back and saw the pursuers gaining on them too, only losing speed when they attempted to hurl anything between broccoli to tomatoes at the ponies.

“Big gap coming up!” Steel Block yelled just as he made a leap for it.

It was definitely a big one, a street-wide gap between their rooftop and the next. Mercury dashed up to the ledge alongside Brute Force and they both jumped. Steel Block slammed into the opposite end and had to roll with the impact, the other two earth ponies doing the same.

Sure-Shot was pretty sure he could make it, but glanced at Twilight Sparkle with a pang of panic. The princess was panting and spluttering. She’d probably never run this hard or long in her life! And even if she had, even Sure-Shot was feeling the burn under the unrelenting desert sun.

He slowed a little and let her jump for it first, leaping directly after her.

At first it seemed the princess would make it, but ten she kicked and screamed in a panic and Sure-Shot saw why. She was falling too soon and she’d fall short.

Thinking fast, Sure-Shot fired up a telekinesis spell and gave her a push. Unfortunately the laws of physics were against him.

He pushed Twilight allowing her to clear the gap with a loud clang as she landed on top of Brute Force. Sure-Shot on the other hand was slowed by his actions. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

The armour in his tac-vest buckled where his mid-sections truck the ledge. His hooves couldn’t find any purchase on the next rooftop and he slipped back, plummeting a good twelve feet and smacking into the road below.

He immediately groaned, trying his best to ignore the pain and rolled to his hooves.

Shaking away the little stars exploding in his vision, Sure-Shot lifted his gaze to see a crowd of Saddle Arabian rebels marching down the street towards him. One of them, a young mare cried out, pointing at the Royal Guardspony.

“There he is! One of the lazy sultan’s supporters! Get him!” she cried.

Several of her fellows reared up and chucked a mixture of projectiles. A few tomatoes broke on the pavement at Sure-Shot’s hooves and he was pretty sure he even saw a yellow rubber duck roll by, squeaking on each bounce.

The joke was over when a large rock cratered the wall right beside his face.

“Uh-oh.”

Sure-Shot erected a shield and a fresh wave of projectiles crashed against the energy barrier. He turned to run the other way, but coming up the far side of the street he spotted the shadows of more rebels just around the corner. He was boxed in.

“Oh, boy.”

He backed up until his rump hit a door and he looked to see sweet escape. Bucking the door off its hinges, Sure-Shot turned and galloped. Behind him he heard the rapid beat of hooves as the rebels gave chase.

As he was running a gem in the side of his cap glowed projecting Steel Block’s voice into his ear. “Sure-Shot! Are you okay?”

The stallion staggered through somepony’s kitchen, the mare feeding her foals screaming at the sight of him. “I’m just peachy!” he yelled pushing through and up the stairs on the other side.

“Can you make it back to the rooftop?”

“With respect, sir; I’m blinkin’ working on it!”

Sure-Shot burst through a door to find himself on a balcony and he ran as fast as he could along it. the rooftops were too high for him to leap to, so he aimed for a fire-escape ladder at the far side.

“Are you a unicorn or what? Teleport out of there!” Mercury offered helpfully.

A window by Sure-Shot’s side exploded into shards and the Saddle Arabian lunging through made a crab at him. The unicorn ducked and slid under his attacker before finding his hooves again and galloping without missing a stride. At the same time another rebel sprinted up behind him.

Sure-Shot charged his magic and cried out at the same time, swinging open a window shutter behind him and smacking it cartoonishly into the pursuer’s face. “I’m a little too busy to focus here!”

Leaping clean over the balustrade at the end of the balcony, Sure-Shot connected with a fire escape ladder and climbed as fast as his sore legs would let him.

“We’re aboard the extraction chariot.” Steel Block reported. “Sure-Shot, where are you?”

“Is the princess on board?”

“Affirmative.”

“Then pull out we can’t risk losing another chariot!” Sure-Shot huffed and puffed as he hooked a leg over the top tread of the ladder and dragged himself upward. “I’ll teleport to you once I get visual!”

Looking down when he felt the ladder shake, he saw several rebels leap after him and begin climbing. It got him into action again and Sure-Shot found his second wind.

With renewed stamina and vigour the young lance corporal threw himself into a fresh gallop across the flat rooftops. His hooves rattled over segments of corrugated plastic and metal as he ran across the shantier buildings and leapt across the small alleys between the tightly packed blocks.

As he was running he cast an eye to the sky. Streaking high above him was a chariot, a larger model than the one they had flown in, drawn by two pegasi instead of one. Whiplash was keeping a keen eye out, hovering by the chariot’s side.

Mercury was hanging out the back waving him up with a hoof.

“C’mon! Teleport up here!”

“I’m trying!” Sure-Shot shouted back, his hoof already alight with amber light. He was spooling up his teleportation spell, focusing on the chariot. It was a long range one and onto a moving target, but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t done in emergency extraction practice at the academy before.

Then it all went horribly wrong.

“Watch your six!” Whiplash’s voice screamed.

Sure-Shot’s head jerked around just as the Saddle Arabian collided with his flanks, tackling the young stallion to the ground. They both slid to a halt, the rebel wrestling to brain the Royal Guard with a stick of celery, Sure-Shot wrestling to just get away.

He caught the rebel’s hoof in his own, pushing away the offending vegetable and swung around with a right hook, conking the Saddle Arabian in the face. He followed up with double-kick to the face, sending the rebel sliding away before Sure-Shot rolled over and ran again.

Already he was running out of rooftop. Up ahead were the outskirts of the city, a sheer drop off down to where the glistening ocean foamed over jagged looking rocks at least a hundred feet straight down. The buildings were built right up to the cliffs, giving Sure-Shot fifty metres to get his teleportation spell right.

But at his gallop he had covered the space in mere seconds and he was only half ready.

Aww, heck, he thought to himself.

Jaw gritted, Sure-Shot ran right up to the edge and leapt into the air. Behind him the pursuing rebels skidded to a halt and narrowly avoided plummeting to their doom after the unicorn.

Falling through the air, Sure-Shot kicked his legs for balance and squeezed his eyes shut. On a wing and a prayer he charged and released his magic.

His whole body vanished from sight on a flash of amber…

… then a second later he reappeared aboard the extraction chariot.

Unfortunately his momentum carried over through the teleport and the poor colt nearly ploughed through Princess Twilight Sparkle who had to jump out of the way. Sure-Shot then smashed head-first into the front of the chariot.

“Gah! My brain!” he cried, cradling his head.

As he was getting over his latest headache-9000, the other ponies gathered around cheering.

“Geeze, are you alright, new guy?” Mercury chuckled helping the lance corporal up. “And I thought Brute Force had a thick skull.”

Brute chuckled. “Yeah, I thought…” his expression suddenly changed. “Heeeeeeey-y!”

Even Twilight Sparkle gave a breathless chuckle, patting Sure-Shot on the shoulder.

“Thanks for the push, Sure-Shot,” she said with a smile.

The lance corporal just gave a little half grin. “Any time, princess.”

Their panicked hearts slowing down and the chariot tearing off into the sky in the direction of home, everypony sagged with relief. Except for Brute Force who suddenly seemed rather energetic.

“So… that was fun! Who wants to go again?”

They laughed and took great pleasure in punching Brute Force upside the head.

“Sarge, this is Shield. Princess secure. All members of Shield present and accounted for. We’re coming home.”