Twilight’s Love Volume Three: Scootaloo’s Love

“Mommy!” shouted the green Pegasus colt, “I can’t find my Crusader cape! We have a meeting after school.”

“Emerald,” said Diamond Tiara walking into the colt’s room, “you’d lose your tail if it weren’t attached to your rump. It’s right here in your closet, where it’s supposed to be.”

“Oh yeah,” said Emerald blushing, “I’m just excited about the party tonight. Do you think Scootaloo Dash will let me sit by her?”

“She’ll probably have you sit in her lap,” said Diamond laughing.

“Do you think so?” said the colt.

“No,” Said Diamond still chuckling, “but I’m sure she’ll show you all the attention she can. But it’s her and Sil’s party, so you’re just going to have to share her.”

“Do you think I can wear my cape to the party?” asked Emerald.

“I’m sure Scootaloo would be honored if you did.” Said Diamond, “The Cutie Mark Crusaders may be an Equestria wide organization now, but she, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle started it, and at my cute-ceañera.”

Emerald had never heard that part before, his eyes lit up.

“So you were a Crusader too?” asked the colt.

Diamond’s face turned a little sad.

“No Honey,” said Diamond, “you might say I was the reason they started the club. Unfortunately mommy wasn’t very nice to them back then.”

“But they’re your friends,” said the colt, “aren’t they?”

“Yes Emerald, they and Sil are my best friends,” said Diamond, “they tried to be back then too. But your mommy had a lot of growing up to do before she realized the value of real friends.

Enough of this for now, you need to get your things together. Windy Daze will be here any moment to walk to school with you.”

“Do you think Windy’s aunt will be at the party,” asked the colt.

“Yes, I’m sure Shady and Sweetie Belle Daze will be there,” said Diamond, “and before you ask, I think Apple Bloom wouldn’t miss it either.

Now get down stairs and make sure Randolph has your lunch packed.”

“Yes mommy,” said the colt giving his mother a kiss, then rushing through the door.

“Emerald!” shouted Diamond, “your cape!”

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door; Emerald was there in a flash. There stood a pink Unicorn filly with white and gray mane and tail and wearing a CMC cape.

“Windy’s here,” said the colt, “see you after the Crusader meeting.”

The two walked together down the path toward the school.

Diamond stood at the door watching as the kids walked out of sight. She was regretting, once again, the fact she had to face the issues of her past without the support of a ‘significant other’. Not necessarily a father for her son, but a pony she could share the responsibilities of guiding her son to a normal life. It wasn’t that her parents weren’t supportive. But somepony that’d be closer to her than her parents, a pony she could love in more than the physical aspect of the emotion.

However, after the way she’d been used in the past, she was in no way open to another stallion coming into her life, using her only to cast her aside when he got what he wanted from her.

Never again.

She wasn’t so closed minded to think all stallions would treat her as such. But the past pain was enough for her to decide she couldn’t take the chance in case she chose wrong again.

Nevertheless, she wasn’t quite sure if she could accept a mare as a partner. She didn’t see anything wrong with it anymore. She was just uncomfortable trying to wrap her mind around being intimate with another girl. She also knew sex was sex, and she could just as easily be used and dumped by a mare as she could be by a stallion.

She’d built a wall around her heart to protect her from a repeat of the massive pain she’d gone through once. ‘Once but never again’, she swore to herself.

But the tradeoff for all this guardedness was a hurting heart yearning to be loved. Longing for somepony to ease the pain of the certain loneliness which wasn’t cured by being with family and friends.

So it appeared her longing to feel the embrace of a special pony would never be.

“What’s wrong Honey,” asked Spoiled Rich, Diamond’s mother, interrupting Diamond’s thoughts.

“Every time I have to talk to Emerald about my past with my friends,” said Diamond, “I feel so awful. I think how different things would be now had I just pulled my head out of my flanks and been the friend Silver Spoon needed. Not to mention Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

But then I think if I had, then I wouldn’t have Emerald. I can’t even imagine that, I love the little guy so much.”

“We can’t undo the past,” said Spoiled, “we can only make the best of now and try for a better future. Don’t begrudge the past. I know I wouldn’t want to be without my grandcolt. And your friends love him as well.

All in all, I think you turned out alright. And the choices you’ve made were because you learned your lesson from the past. It’s what’s made you, you.”

Diamond looked at her mother, a small tear in her eye.

“Thanks mom,” said Diamond, “I needed to hear that.”

“That’s what moms are for,” said Spoiled giving her daughter a little hug, “now you need to go to Sweet Apple Acres. Your dad says the Zap Apples are due anytime now, so he wanted you to go and make sure his standing order of Zap Apple jam is still in place.”

“I’m sure it is,” said Diamond.

“So does he,” said Spoiled, “but it’s a respect thing to the Apple Family. He wants to make sure they know he doesn’t take them for granted.”

Diamond walked the distance to Sweet Apple Acres. When she was younger, she would’ve demanded Randolph to pull her in a carriage, but now she valued the time in the fresh air and meeting ponies along the way.

She really had a hard time coming to terms with the way she’d acted as a filly.

Apple Bloom was doing her chores, pulling a wagonload of apples to the barn. The heavy wagon wasn’t a problem. After all these years on the farm, she could pull, push, buck and lift as well as Applejack or Big Mac.

The load which was bothering her was the thought of the party tonight.

She was looking forward to being with her friends and celebrating Scootaloo and Silver Spoon’s happiness. Sweetie Belle will be there with her husband as well. Yet another reminder of the happiness she knew she could never have.

It hurt to know, through no fault of her own, she couldn’t be in a relationship others could celebrate. Fate had dealt her a hand she had a hard time coming to terms with.

She was told by all her friends and many other ponies, she was a very attractive pony. Stallions were all the time asking her out. This had to be the cruelest part. Stallions clamoring over her to go out with them and her knowing she couldn’t take the chance of accepting any of their offers.

Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon knew her ‘issue’ and so they did understand why their friend didn’t go to many parties and outings.

She could deal with her own hurt, but she was sure the disappointment and scorn which would be the result of her taking the chance would be beyond any heartbreak she could handle. If she was laughed at or considered a freak because of something she couldn’t change, there was no way she could deal with it.

It was the reason Apple Bloom hardly ever went to social gathering anymore. She’d even find a reason for skipping the annual Apple Family Barn Dance. But with this being for Scootaloo and Silver Spoon, she couldn’t let them down.

She also felt bad because her sister and Rarity would try to ease her discomfort by having herself go out with them, as if she was still a little filly who needed to have chaperones. Her condition shouldn’t stand in the way of her sister and Rarity’s time together.

As Diamond came up the lane, she saw Apple Bloom pulling a wagonload of apples. Apple Bloom saw her and called out to her as she waved. Diamond waved back as Apple Bloom slipped her harness and trotted over to meet her friend. As always, the hug Apple Bloom would give was warm and honest. Diamond thought what a friend she would’ve been in school. So much could’ve been different.

Many of Apple Bloom’s school chums were jealous of how the filly had ‘grown up’. She was prettier than just about any mare around. She never wore any makeup except when her sister’s partner made her wear it for important occasions. But most ponies agreed she really didn’t need it. Even the ‘cowpony’ hat she wore now instead of her old trademark bow was slightly more girlish than her big sister’s.

“Diamond,” said Apple Bloom, “what brings you by?”

“I’m here for my daddy,” said Diamond. “I need to talk to Applejack.”

“She’s in the house,” said Apple Bloom, “got lots of paperwork she has to take care of. Big Mac ain’t so hot when it comes to fig’ers. I’ll walk with you, if’n you don’t mind. I need a break anyway.”

“Sure thing Apple Bloom,” said Diamond smiling, “I’m glad for the company.”

They made small talk as the two strolled to the house and went in. There at the table was Applejack and a stack of papers, she looked up and saw her sister and Diamond.

“Howdy Diamond,” said AJ, “what can I do you for?”

“My daddy says the Zap Apples should be here soon and he wanted me to make sure his order was still in place.”

Applejack gave a short chuckle.

“I’ve learned Filthy Rich askin’ ‘bout the Zap Apple harvest is as much a sign the Zap Apples are comin’ as the timber wolves howlin’ at night. You can tell Filthy our best customer’s one hundred jars always comes off the top.” Said AJ, “but he knows it.”

“Yes but he wanted to let you know he doesn’t just take the Apple Family for granted,” said Diamond. Apple Bloom and AJ both smiled at the sentiment.

Then Apple Bloom got quiet and had a sad look on her face. It didn’t go unnoticed.

“What’s wrong Apple Bloom?” asked Diamond.

“It’s the first year I have to make the Zap Apple jam by myself, now that Granny’s gone,” said Apple Bloom.

“I forgot about that,” said Diamond, putting a foreleg over Apple Bloom’s shoulders.

“I really miss her,” said the younger Apple.

“We all do,” said Diamond.

“Well,” said Applejack, “I’m glad she’s gone.”

“Really?” asked Diamond.

“Yeah,” said AJ, “her rheumatis’ had been botherin’ her quite fierce. The doctor told her the dry desert air would do her good. In her last letter, she said Braeburn and all the Apples in Appleloosa were happy to have her help out there.”

“Well I guess it would be better,” Said Diamond, “and because the jam will be all Apple Bloom this time, I’m sure it’ll be the best Zap Apple jam ever!”

Apple Bloom smiled at Diamond, she knew here was a friend who really understood her.

“Well I got to get the wagon of apples into the barn,” said Apple Bloom, “so if’n y’all will ex-squeeze me.”

“I’ll go help,” said Diamond, then looking at Applejack, “I’ll tell daddy what you said. Have a good day; hope to see you at the party tonight.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” said Applejack. “See you there.”

The two walked out to the apple wagon.

“You really don’t have to help,” said Apple Bloom.

“It’s okay,” said Diamond with a smile. “I’m not in a rush to get back to the store and we never get time to talk.”

Apple Bloom smiled, nodded and slipped back in the harness while Diamond helped push from the rear.

It didn’t take long for the two friends to get the wagon unloaded. Apple Bloom went and got some cold cider and the two sat under a tree in the shade.

They talked for a while about little things which weren’t of any importance. Then Diamond asked a question of Apple Bloom the Apple was hoping wouldn’t come up.

“So, are you going with anypony to the party tonight?”

“No,” said Apple Bloom, “I’ll be there, but I ain’t goin’ with anypony.”

“Why? Hasn’t any stallion asked you out?” asked Diamond, “I really can’t see why they wouldn’t.”

“Yes,” said Apple Bloom, looking uncomfortable, “plenty have. I just ain’t wanted to go out with any of ‘em.”

“Is it that you like mares,” asked Diamond, without the prejudice of the past, “like your sister?”

“No,” said Apple Bloom, blushing.

“Okay,” said Diamond, “I can see it’s none of my business. I’m sorry I asked.”

“It’s ‘kay,” said Apple Bloom, it looked like she was going to cry, “it’s somethin’ I ain’t talked to anypony outside the family.”

“I understand, something’s are just too personal to share. Celestia knows, I’ve had my share of them,” said Diamond. “Forget I said anything about it, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Diamond put a foreleg around Apple Bloom and gave a friendly hug of comfort.

Apple Bloom looked at Diamond oddly. Perhaps with what Diamond went through, here was a pony she could talk to, plus they had ‘history’. She’d held it in for so long, it’d be nice to get it out. Apple Bloom took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I need you to promise you won’t laugh,” said Apple Bloom. “Or say somethin’ ’bout it to anypony.”

“I promise to be silent, and I wouldn’t laugh at a personal problem,” said Diamond, then trying to lighten the mood she continued, “at least I haven’t for some time now.”

Apple Bloom did smile then she decided just to come out with it.

“I don’t go out with anypony because...

I can’t”

“What,” asked Diamond, “your brother or sister won’t let you? Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“No,” said Apple Bloom, “that ain’t it. Of all ponies, you should understand. If’n you go out with a pony, it doesn’t matter stallion or mare, eventually there’s kissin’. Then if’n there’s kissin’, eventually it can lead to… Somethin’.

Well, I can’t do the somethin’.”

“You afraid to get involved?”

“No Diamond,” said Apple Bloom a little frustrated and embarrassed, “I can’t have sex.”

Diamond just looked confused; Apple Bloom took another deep breath.

“The doctor calls it Vaginal Agenesis. I was born without a vagina or a uterus.”

Diamond sat there with an open mouth.

“Don’t take this wrong,” said Apple Bloom standing up.

She turned her flanks in Diamond’s direction, moved her tail aside and with a fore hoof she spread one side of the closed lips of her marehood.

There was nothing between the lips except the small hole Apple Bloom peed through. But no vagina, no clitoris.

“I have ovaries inside.” Said Apple Bloom, turning back around and sitting back down, “so I am a girl. I got the normal mare’s nipples; I got a mare’s voice and muzzle. But other than that, I ain’t got any of the equipment a coltfriend or marefriend would want. I guess I could do that oral stuff, but what’s in it for me? And forget the ‘back door’! There ain’t enough hard cider in Equestria for that.”

Apple Bloom looked down; a tear was running down her cheek, so she didn’t see the one going down Diamond’s cheek.

Diamond thought about it. Could this really be the answer to her prayers? Could her loneliness come to an end?

Here was a pony who wouldn’t want to use her for their self-gratification and then leave her to deal with the consequences. A pony with honor and heart. A pony who wouldn’t expect anything but, to Diamond’s mind, what was really important.

Diamond thought hard about to say next.

“Look Apple Bloom,” said Diamond, “Emerald is beside himself because you, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle will be at the party tonight. It’d be a bigger thrill to him if you were to go to the party with us. I’ve no desire for sex myself. I don’t want to go out with any stallion because I’ve been used before, but I’ll never let it happen again.

And I’m not of the mindset to try mares yet either. I don’t see anything wrong with it anymore, but I’m not ready for that.

But I’d be happy to go out with a pony I’d feel completely safe with. You can be sure I’ll be completely safe for you. No expectations, no pressures.

All I want in a pony is one who wants to be together and supportive, maybe a cuddle once in a while. But I know most ponies would, like you said, expect more eventually. I’m not for that at this time, if ever again. I think you’re a pony who could understand all of that and be alright with it.”

Apple Bloom was finding in Diamond’s words the kind of pony who wanted a relationship which wouldn’t be in conflict with her condition. A pony she could be comfortable with. A pony, if true to her word, would be the kind of pony she could feel good with. Not having to expect she’d have to ‘perform’ at a later time. Apple Bloom could just scream!

And after all that had happened in the past, who’d have ever thought it’d be Diamond Tiara.

Diamond then continued:

“It’d also be okay with me if you or anypony else called it a date. You’re my friend and I could deal with it.”

Apple Bloom smiled even more.

“Plus me being with the best looking mare in Ponyville,” said Diamond with a sly smile, and sounding like the ‘old’ Diamond Tiara, “it’ll make ponies jealous!”

Apple Bloom finally laughed.

“’kay Diamond,” said Apple Bloom with a smile, “it’s a date.”

Diamond and Apple Bloom hugged. Diamond didn’t know what came over her, perhaps the joy of her heart in finding a pony that so closely fit the kind of pony she wanted in her life. A pony she’d convinced herself didn’t exist.

Diamond felt in her heart an urging to do something she’d not done for years. Diamond kissed Apple Bloom, a respectable kiss. No girly peck on the lips, it was a kiss Diamond had longed for, for so long. Diamond was also thrilled Apple Bloom didn’t pull away. The rush inside was at such a deep level. It put the kisses of the past into perspective, this was real.

Apple Bloom felt it also. She’d never allowed herself to kiss another pony; yes there were family kisses, and the girly kisses between friends, but never a kiss like this. The feel of Diamond’s tongue made her feel something she’d never felt before. And she was doing her best to return the kiss in kind. For the first time in her life, Apple Bloom allowed herself to feel ‘normal’ as far as this kind of stuff went.

They broke the kiss and embraced again.

“I’ll be by to pick you up this evening,” said Diamond, “okay?”

“See you then,” said Apple Bloom with a smile.

They shared another quick kiss and then Diamond turned and happily trotted down the lane.

Apple Bloom returned to her chores. But her mind wasn’t on what she was doing. She’d just had her first real kiss, tongue and all! And who’d ever thought it would’ve been with Diamond Tiara.

After a bit AJ came out and walked over to her sister.

“Apple Bloom,” said Applejack, “I’m so glad you’re goin’ to the party. Rarity wanted me to see if’n I could talk you into wearing a dress. I know you won’t be with anypony so you can go with us so you don’t feel left out.”

“Sis,” said Apple Bloom, “tell Rarity I’d be happy to wear a dress, and even makeup. But I ain’t goin’ with y’all.

I’ve got a date.”

“You do!” said AJ genuinely surprised. “Who’s the lucky pony?”

“Diamond Tiara,” said Apple Bloom.

“Diamond Tiara?” questioned Applejack, “as in the pony who was just here, Diamond Tiara? The pony who used to give you and your friends such a hard time, Diamond Tiara? The pony who tried to embarrass Silver Spoon because she liked mares, Diamond Tiara?”

“Yes sis,” said Apple Bloom, “that Diamond Tiara. Do you know of another one?”

“Does she know... ’bout you?”

“Yes sis, I told her all ’bout me.”

“And she’d be ’kay with it?”

“I don’t know,” said Apple Bloom snickering, “she didn’t say much, she just kissed me after I told her.”

“Huh?” said AJ a bit confused, her entire preconceived notion about a pony had been shattered. “And are you sure she’s ain’t goin’ to be wantin’ anythin’... Sexual?”

“She said she’d been used in the past and she couldn’t go through it again.” Said Apple Bloom, “she said she wasn’t ready to go out with mares either. But with me, she’d feel safe and she guaranteed I’d be safe as well. No expectations, no pressure.”

“Really?” said AJ, “no expectations? That’s a lot to ask of a pony.”

“Well she did say one thing which could have been an expectation.”

“What’s that?”

“She said all she wanted was a pony who wants to be together and supportive. And cuddle once in a while.”

Applejack started to have tears rolling down her cheek.

“What’s wrong sis?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It sounds like my lil’ sis has finally found a pony who could really understand her.” Said AJ, “I’m so happy for y’all.”