A new god in town

by kuromenoname

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Dark, Human, Romance
Length: 4995

A young human genius ends up in Equestria. Will he survive the culture shock LunaxhumanOC

A young human genius ends up in Equestria. Will he be able to survive the culture shock and will he be able to live with a certain blue alicorn who is constantly around.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-19 18:27:23 UTC

Chapter 1

A new god in town

The humans vision weakly grew back as he began to wake up. As he groaned and got up, he heard muffled talking, as if it came from another room. When his mind finally began to clear up, he found himself in some sort of simple cage. Trough the bars he could make out the bright colors of the pink maned pony. The one that drugged him!, he was so getting his revenge soon. The yellow pony saw him wake up and called out to the other room.”You guys, I think it’s awake, will you all take a look now?”.A mature female voice with a southern accent answered: ” F’course flutters. Let’s all come on over an’ see how it behaves.”  A single moment later ‘Five’ could see five( ironically) other ponies walk into the room, all with curious faces. “ You’re right Fluttershy, it’s finally awake.” A purple unicorn spoke. So her name is Fluttershy huh. The human picked up  a bit bored with how this was going. “You were right, it does sit in a weirdy way, doesn’t it?” A pink pony with a puffy mane practically yelled across the room. They all nodded in agreement, much to the displeasure of the caged human. “Well it doesn’t look very sporty to me” A light blue Pegasus with a scruffy rainbow mane  stated while flying and crossing her front legs.

After a while of staring and random comment the unicorn spoke up” What is it? I haven’t found any books which describes such an odd creature”. Yeah good luck with that.  the human thought jokingly. Now Fluttershy spoke up” I don’t know either, but I think it’s owner knows what it is.” “How do ya know that it’s a pet?” The same southern voice spoke, it came from the orange pony with a yellow mane tied at the end.”Well I figured, since it wares  clothes, somepony must’ve put them on.” Fluttershy whispered while digging her hoof into the wooden floor, though without much success. “What a terrible pony would be cruel enough to put that poor creature in those hideous clothes?” A white unicorn with a stylefull purple mane said chocked. I don’t see you wearing any clothes, so who are you to judge my sense of fashion?  ‘Five’ thought a bit hurt. “We must find its owner, so that we can learn more about this creature. Let’s all come here tomorrow to make a plan on informing its owner, and I’ll write a letter to the princess.” The purple unicorn sated, ignoring the white ones comment.

Not much time passed and all but the purple unicorn said their goodbyes and left. Fluttershy on the other hand wanted to stay, but after much urging of the unicorn she left.” Goodbye Twilight” She mumbled as she was pushed out of the door. Twilight trotted over to a desk and levitated a scroll, inkpot and a feather over and started writing her letter to the princess.

Dear princess Celestia,

My friends went on a picnic today and had a lot of fun, but later that day my friend Fluttershy came to me with an unknown animal. I caged it out of precaution since we don’t know what it is capable of. We figured it must be someponies pet because it’s wearing clothes. I would like for your presence tomorrow when we will figure out a plan.

Your most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

She went up the stairs to see her assistant, a baby dragon named spike. She walked over to the purple sleeping dragon and held out the letter in front of his mouth, and pulled his tail. It was a trick she discovered and used when he was sleeping. The dragon let out a green flare and practically vaporized the letter. Almost immediately it burped and let out another flare, this time a letter appeared in the flames. Twilight levitated it over and opened it.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

This is indeed a peculiar case and me and my sister will come over to help with the plans.

Celestia.

After she finished reading, she put away the scroll in her desk with a smile. She smiled because her princess was going to make another visit, even if it was under these curious circumstances. As she went back down, she heard some movement. She hurried down to see what was happening. Then, there it stood, outside of its cage standing on its two back legs. Just casually walking off to the bathroom. How did it get out, what was it looking for in her bathroom? She just stood there for a moment, when it came out again drying the last bits of water from its appendages which were on its front legs. The sounds of a flushing toilet filled the room, as the creature whistled and walked over to a bookcase and took a handful of books. It then lazily walked over to its cage, went inside, closed it and sat down opening a book. Twilight still stood there, jaw on the floor, not believing what just happened. The creature looked up from its insanely fast reading and gave her a playful grin. Tilting its head a little to the side it asked ”what?”. At this Twilight jumped a lot higher than was physically possible from shock. “Y-y-y-y-you can talk?!” she asked, not believing what she was seeing. “Well, duh. Of course I can talk, I wouldn’t be doing it now if I couldn’t, now would I”.” Of course not, but why didn’t you talk earlier?” she answered in a confused tone. “Well, you all thought I was just an animal so I acted like one. You even thought I was somebody’s pet, just because I wear clothes. Maybe it could’ve meant I  put them on. But no, you didn’t even considered that, now did you?”

After the lecture twilight got, she sat on the ground, looking sad. The human had finished and threw her a disappointed look.” Let’s just start over. Hi” He human held out his hand,  ready to shake her hoof. Twilight just looked at him with a puzzled look. “Um, what are you doing? You can’t just start over after all what happened. Me and my friends just treated you as an animal and even caged you.””I don’t really care, by the way, I kinda tricked you too” The human said while scratching the back of his head. “well, ok then, my name is Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you.” Twilight said while beaming a smile at him. The human held out his hand, again earning a confused look on Twilights face.” This is how we humans greet each other, we hold each other’s hand and shake it lightly” Twilight hesitantly put her hoof in his hand and let him shake it. She giggled and asked: “what’s your name? You haven’t told it yet.” The human sat back down and sighed. “The boys at the agency called me ‘Five’, but I think it’s not really a name though.” “ Then how should I call you?” Twilight asked already brimming with questions to ask her newfound friend. “Just call me … Zane, yeah that’s cool.”

“OK then … Zane, I have a lot of questions for you” Twilight asked all ready  to take notes. “what are you, where do you come from, how did you come here, what are your interests, could you describe yourself, …”  She was bombarding him with questions, asking too fast for him to answer. “Now hold on, slow down a bit. I’m what’s called a human, I come from earth, I like games and for the description, the agency kept calling me a genius, so I guess that’s what I am.” Zane said stopping the overactive unicorn in front of him.“ oh, a genius huh, I’m pretty smart myself even though I say that myself. I’m the princesses personal student.” She said almost glowing with proud.” Could you tell me about earth, please” She asked with puppy dog eyes.” Ok, but I must tell you, it’s a terrible world. We humans defiled its land and destroyed every sign of nature. Out of greed we robbed the planet from its resources. We also held many wars, just out of hate for each other. We build a huge and complex economy and built enormous cities. People live literally on top of each other and crime is the most common thing. When people die, we just don’t care as if it’s the most normal thing. We don’t use magic like here, instead we created many machines for transport, communication, fun, but also war. A lot of weapons were invented, the most used one is a gun. It’s a metal tool that fires a bullet at speeds many times higher than the speed of sound. Our governments consist of lying and corrupt people.”

After the long depiction, Twilight was scared to death. One of these mean creatures was right in front of her. She couldn’t comprehend that a civilization with so much intellect could just destroy their only world. “ Don’t worry, I hate humans and I try not to act like them.” Zane insured her. “But, how can you hate your own kind?” Twilight cried out while trying to stop crying. “because we are mean and corrupt. Now drop it, you have no idea what I went through over there.” “Then tell me!” Twilight argued. “I was captured and forced to create weapons by some agency without even a name. I was taken from society the day people recognized how smart I was. And when I go back, they’ll capture me again.” Zane said, no emotion showing up on his face. “Then stay here, you don’t have to go back” the mare said, a little hope for her new friend glistering in her eyes. “ I can’t, I’ll just taint this world with the human ways” The human said determined . “ You know what, I’ll ask the princesses tomorrow and they will determine whether you’re a threat to us or not. They lived and protected Equestria for thousands of years”. “If that is what it takes for you to believe me, than ask away.”

An awkward silence soon followed. After regaining her composure, Twilight said “Do you want to sleep here and wait for tomorrow?”. “If I’m not too much of a bother, then I’ll just sleep here on the couch. Is that ok with you?” Zane answered awkwardly. “Not at all, I’ll go upstairs and sleep now, I need to be rested for when the princesses arrive tomorrow”. They mumbled their goodnights  and Twilight went upstairs. She fell asleep before even reaching the door to her bedchamber. Zane smiled and picked her up from the floor and carried her to her bed. He tucked her in and she let out a little sneeze. They sure are cute, my heart almost exploded from that. He thought while going down the stairs. He wasn’t going to sleep for a long time. He just picked up a few books and began reading on the couch, flipping through the pages as if he wasn’t reading at all.

Chapter 2

A new god in town

Twilight woke-up in her bed how did I get here? I don’t remember going to bed. She wondered. She just shrugged it off as she got and trotted over to her mirror. She saw her terrible bed hair and grunted as she levitated a comb over and started to brush her mane. It was full of knots and it hurt to comb it, but after a while she had finally put it back in its usual way. She smiled and gave herself a little wink. She turned around and trotted over to spike who was sleeping in his bed and was snoring loudly. Twilight giggled a bit while looking over the sleeping dragon. Her horn started to glow as a bucket of water levitated over from the bathroom. She grinned evilly as she poured the water over her assistant. Spike suddenly jumped up with a look of terror plastered on his face. “whaah!” he yelled, but immediately recovered as he saw an on the floor laughing Twilight. “Jeez, Twi, can’t you just wake me up normally?” Spike grunted. “Of course I can, but then I wouldn’t be laughing like I do now.” Spike clenched his claw to make a fist and held it up to Twilight, glaring at her.

They then heard some rumbling downstairs in the library.” Oh yeah, I forgot, that creature is still locked up downstairs, isn’t it.” Spike stated matter-of-factly. At this Twilights memories of last night came pouring back in her mind, as if a dam had been breached.” Oh no, Zane! I must go check on him” . “who’s Zane?” Spike said as Twilight rushed downstairs. She hurried faster than she ever did, hoping nothing bad happened. A hoof got stuck on another and she started tumbling down. This time it was Spikes turn to laugh. Twilight quickly stood up and started scanning the room. She saw Zane running towards her with a worried look on his face. “Hey, are you okay? Falling down like that isn’t very healthy you know”. “Never mind me, are you okay, did you sleep well? What happened after I fell asleep on the floor? How did I get back in bed in my room” Twilight started rambling. “You sure you’re okay? I picked you up and carried you to your room.” Twilight started blushing at Zane’s remarks. “ As for sleeping, I didn’t sleep, instead I read the books here. You sure got a lot, It took me a entire hour to read them all. The rest of the night was filled with putting them all back. Did I mention you have a lot of books?” . Twilights face suddenly got hit by a very intense look of shock. “You read all the books in just an hour? There must be more than 500 of them here”. She said with shock. “872 books to be exact.” Zane stated matter-of-factly.” You weren’t kidding when you said ‘they’ called you a genius. Even I haven’t read even half of all of the books here and you did it within the hour. That is amazing” .She said while hopping up and down in excitement.

“Hey, twi, are  you okay?” Spike yelled from upstairs. Still a little bit chuckling. As he came down the stairs, he noticed Zane standing there. “Watch out, the creature is out of its cage”. He warned unknowing of the situation. “IT has a name, mine’s Zane. Nice to meet you too” Zane said sarcastically. “Oh my Celestia, it speaks”. Spike said while freaking out. “Geez, thanks for the credit. And your name is…?”. “Oh, um, my name is Spike”. Spike replied, still confused. Twilight then nudged him into another room. “ That is Zane, he’s a human and he came from another reality. Just be nice to him and I think he will do the same”. “Well ok Twi, but only for you” Spike whispered. They then walked back into the room. Zane held out his hand towards Spike. He just gave a confused at the weird display Zane was showing. “This is how we greet each other. You give me your hand and we’ll shake it” ha said while grinning a bit. Spike hesitantly put his claw into the humans hand and they shook it.” Now that wasn’t that hard, wasn’t it”. “You sure are weird” Spike said while pulling his hand back. “Spike, watch your manners” Twilight grunted and shot a glare at him. He just glared back and stuck out his tongue.

After a while Zane broke the silence. “After reading your books, I am left with just one question”. “Ask away” Twilight said with a look in her eyes like the one of a toddler in a candy shop. “why are you ponies so dumb?”. “ uh, um, WHAT? Dumb, what do you mean?” The look instantly disappeared. “ well, you all acquired so much knowledge and done nothing with it. The applications of magic is endless and very easy, yet you just can’t get out of your medieval mentality. Your technology is way behind the human average, let alone my own. You have these goddesses ruling over you that have lived for thousands of years and are as good as almighty, yet why aren’t there any records of them actually helping in the advances of technology. Living for so long, they must’ve a vast knowledge of their world, but they don’t share their knowledge with any of you”. Now Twilight got angry. “Don’t you dare speak of the princesses that way! They helped put Equestria at peace ever since their rule.” “I’m just saying what I’m thinking, don’t rip your head off... You know what, I take everything back”. “Just like tha…”. She was interrupted by Zane continuing talking “And I’ll ask them myself”. “OK, you just do that and hear from them how wrong you are”.

She finally calmed down and asked: “you want breakfast?”. “Sure, what do you have”? Just as Zane finished his question the door flung open and a rainbow trail soon followed. Rainbow Dash raced into the room, but quickly stopped when she saw the creature from yesterday out of its cage and standing near her friend. “Watch out Twi, the creature’s escaped” she said while flying super fast, getting ready to buck him in the stomach. Zane quickly reacted and in a few nanoseconds later, Rainbow was on the floor. “Dang you, I’ll get you for this!” she screamed while trying to get up. “Wait, I can’t move, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?”. “Calm down and maybe I’ll help you” Zane answered while frowning. “Wow, you can talk? Doesn’t matter, what did you do, I can’t move!”. “Oh my Celestia, Zane what did you do?” Twilight yelled while galloping over to her friend to help her in some way. “Oh no, now I’m the bad guy! She was the one who wanted to attack me for no reason, it was just self defense”. Zane tried to defend himself. “By the way, once she’s calmed down, I’ll help her”. “You’d better, or I’ll buck you all the way to the other side of town”. Rainbow said while shooting daggers at him through her eyes. “Zane, what did you do?” Twilight asked now at least less angry at him. “I hit her in a pressure point, she’ll stay like that unless I treat her”. “How do you know so much of pony anatomy after you’ve only been here for less than a day and there aren’t any books here about that either?” “I told you, I’m a genius, I figured that out while she was flying over to me”.

Zane now turned back to Rainbow “calmed down now? I’ll help you and we can start over”. “Yeah, whatever” she answered. He walked over to her and did an incredibly fast move and she started to move again. “Now, all better. Hi my name is Zane, nice to meet you” Zane smiled. “yeah, mine’s Rainbow dash” She answered hesitantly. “I’m the fastest flyer in all of Equestria and you aren’t as weak as I first thought”. She continued, now smiling and shining with self-confidence.

“Hey Rainbow, don’t fly of suddenly like that. You just left us behind”. Rarities voice called out from outside. Only moments later the rest of the mane six entered the library. “Oh, Twilight dear, you do know that the creature has escaped, do you?”. “Ugh, can’t all of you just stop calling me creature, I’m getting pretty annoyed by this!” Zane grunted. “Oh my Celestia it…” “Just stop it! Yes, I speak! Big surprise, AGAIN! Ok, now that the repeating clichés have ended, let me introduce myself, I’m Zane”. “Um, I’m Rarity” The white coated unicorn said. “And ahm Applejack” the orange coated pony said with a southern accent. “ “Hello, I’m pinkie pie. You know, I was just wondering, why weren’t you talking yesterday, what are you, what do you like to eat, is it oatmeal?... in the castle of… and then they… a monster?” Pinkie rambled on at a very high volume and speed that most of it was incomprehensible. “um, I’m fluttershy “ She trailed off at the end. “Fluttershy, I think you are going to have to speak up if you want him to hear your name” Twilight commented. “No it’s okay, I know her name already, and I won’t forget soon, since you’re the one that drugged and caged me!” Zane raised his voice nearing the end of his sentence. Fluttershy instantly jumped and hid behind Applejack.

“Now that all introductions are over, I think I need to explain myself, don’ I?” Zane said while sitting down. “No, not just yet, the princesses aren’t here yet.” Twilight said. Just then there was a bright flash in the middle of the room. Where the flash occurred stood now the two leaders of Equestria: Princes Celestia with a white coat and pastel colored mane waving in an invisible wind she stood well above all the others in the room except for Zane even without her wings and horn. And princes Luna with a dark blue colored coat and a light blue short mane, she stood above all others but Zane and her sister. She too had both a horn and wings. All others but Zane stood there in awe at the sight of their princesses. Celestia turned to face her student “It is good to see you again Twilight”. “It sure is princes” twilight said with glee. The princes now turned to see Zane. She stared at him deeply with eyes filled with interest. “I assume this is the creature you wrote me about yesterday. Why isn’t it in its cage, something the matter?”. “Why does everybody think I belong in a cage, do I really look that dangerous?”.

Now both princesses lost their cool and they jumped back a bit. Obviously shocked the princes of the night, Luna, spoke up “Twilight, you did not say in your letter that it could speak. We are very sorry sir, It was never our intention to be disrespectful”. Zane then bowed to them and said: “No, it was entirely my fault, I tricked your subject in to believing I was some sort of unintelligent creature. It’s is neither yours or theirs fault. Let me introduce myself, my name is Zane and it’s a pleasure to meet you”.

“Well, um yes, I’m princes celestia, ruler of Equestria and bringer of the sun. This is my sister, co ruler and bringer of the moon, Luna”. Now Luna spoke up again “ What are you? In all my many years of experience I haven’t seen anypony like you.” “No, neither do I. Please, inform us, if you will”. Her sister followed up. “I’m what’s called a human by ourselves. I come from a reality where me and my species live on a planet called Earth. From what I’ve seen here, your world holds a lot of what you call magic. Sadly there is no such thing where I come from. Instead we harnessed the power of technology and built cities with …”. He was cut off by Celestia “There is no need to go in detail, I will simply use my magic to enter your mind and project the images of what you’ve seen in your world”. “I’m very sorry, but my mind is a very hostile place for any who intrude. L must warn you that it is not safe to attempt any  of said things”. But he was too late, as Celestias horn started to glow. It kept glowing for a moment, but it suddenly stopped and the princes felt to the ground. “Oh no, princes!” Twilight yelled while galloping to her side. “What did you do to my sister” Luna said with hate. “Hey, I warned her, my mind is not as any other. In my world I was known as an unusual genius. She could not handle the vast amounts of information my mind was processing”. “Princes Celestia lived for over thousands of years! She would never be inferior to a being as young as you!” Twilight snapped back. “Yes, she lived for thousands of years and probably learned a lot in her years, but I process a thousand years of information every single second” Zane answered calmly.

The princes now got up, but still stood a little wobbly. “You truly are a remarkable creature, do you mind telling us more about your world, since projecting it isn’t possible” she said, a little tiredness in her voice. “I’ll show you instead!” Zane said while reaching into his pocket. Everypony had confused looks on their faces as they saw the human pulling out an eyeball shaped orb out of its pocket. “What is that, ooh is it a toy, you wanna play, huh huh huh” Pinkie exclaimed while jumping up and down in excitement, until she was held down by Applejack. “No Pinkie, it’s not a toy. It’s one of my creations. Meet James!” Zane said while activating James. The orb grew larger and started to float. All of the ponies in the room were astonished by what was before their eyes. Then to all the ponies surprise, it spoke: “Good day master, it seems I made a little mistake while unplugging and I’m very sorry for that.” It then looked around the room. “OhmyGod, what do we have here? Ponies, but a lot smaller, in bright colors. Some even have horns and wings!” James then yelled after he spotted the ponies. “Well how ‘bout that, you don’ have to yell like we’re some kind of monster!” Applejack said back. Now James panicked even more “And they talk too, master what is this?” “Urgh, jou don’t have to panic like that.” Now Twilight said, a bit angry by the orbs words. “Now you know how I felt while you were objectifying me.” Zane said with a smirk and he continued: “James, calm down.” As soon his master said that James stopped panicking  and hovered right next to its master. “Good, now let me introduce you to James, my lovely assistant and friend. He was the one that got us here.” “Howdy, ahm Applejack” “And I’m Pinkiepie” “And I’m Rarity” “Rainbow dash here” “I’m Twilight Sparkle” “I’m Flutter…” The rest was incomprehensible as she trailed off at the end. “We are princes Luna and Celestia, we welcome you” the sisters said in unison.

“Good now that this is all over, James?” “Yes master” “I want you to start a projection of a random city on Earth” “Will do sir!”

Soon the room turned black and all ponies were in shock. The blackness soon faded and they were in the middle of a huge city. The ponies stared, mouth agape, at the scenery. “Wow, the buildings are so high!” Twilight said. “What are them carriages without somepony pulling them?” Applejack asked. “Those are automobiles, or cars like we call them. They work on fossilized fuel that powers an engine.” “What is that flying thing” Rainbow asked while pointing with a hoof in the air. “That is a plane, it flies using a similar, but also very different, engine.” “You humans seem to have advanced very well, even though you have no magic” Celestia said impressed. “This may look awesome now, but thanks to those machines, we are polluting our own planet.” “Oh, well I’m sorry to hear that.” Celestia said while looking down. “I think that is enough now, James.” Zane said and the city vanished, startling the ponies again.

“Now that you’ve seen my world, I’ll tell you of our history.” Zane said, making Rainbow gag. “We humans have a history filled with war and murder. I’m not proud of it, but it helped us advance in technology.” He continued telling them about different weapons and gruesome parts of history. The ponies gasped a lot. “Are there any questions?” Zane finished. Nopony dared to ask any questions as their view of the human drastically changed. After a while Celestia spoke up “You haven’t told us how and why you got here.” Now James spoke up with regret in his eye. “I made a mistake in disconnecting from the computer and it lead to us being teleported here.” “Then, do you want to stay or do you want to leave, if you can?” Celestia said calmly. This took Zane off guard. He expected that she asked him to leave after he told them all that. “uh, um, why would you let me stay? We humans are very bad.” “Yes, but that doesn’t say we can just tell you to leave.” Zane was shocked. As he thought about it, he figured either he stays in a magical land filled with ponies, or he went back to Earth, where the agency surely will find him and punish him for disappearing. “I… I guess I’ll stay.” Zane answered with his head hanging low. “If you’re going to stay here, I do want some supervision on you. I know, I’ll have my sister watch over you so that she can stop you at any time.” A Everybody was shocked by this, especially the princes of the night herself. “But, Tia.” She pleaded. “No buts, besides maybe staying here in Ponyville will get your image back on a good place. I’ll take over your duties as a princes, even raising and lowering the moon. See it as a vacation.” “Ugh, ok then. Maybe it won’t be so bad.” Luna said, a little unhappy. “Now that everything is settled, I shall return to the castle. The nobles are probably arguing again.”

Everypony said their goodbyes and now it was just Zane, James, Luna and Twilight. “Sooo... where will you stay?” Luna asked. Suddenly a grin appeared on Zanes face, earning a worried look from the two mares.