PRINCESS PREGNANT!
According the sources who wish to remain anonymous the recently crowned Princess of Friendship, Princess Twilight Sparkle, is confirmed to be pregnant. Who the father is or how the other Princesses are reacting to this information is unknown but rest assured these question will be answered as we here at Equestrian Times will not rest till we know the full story.

Many theories of who the father of the Princess’ foal is abound, some believe it is another officer in the Equestrian Defense Force as the Princess has strong ties to the military. Others believe it to be one of the nobles who work closely with the young Princess.

According to a source within the castle the Princess of Friendship has spent a lot of time….

Twilight glared at the morning paper as she read the article that took up most of the front page, the rest of the page was taken up by pictures of her at her coronation and a few of the events she went to as a Princess.

Someone had talked, while she was sure Dr. Helpinghoof hadn’t as he firmly believed in doctor patient confidentiality, the reason she had chosen him as her primary doctor through her pregnancy, the nurses were another thing. Anyone of them could have sold the story to the press as a story like this would pay a lot of bits, or they could have been working for one of Twilight’s enemies in the Game of Houses who were using the information to try and ruin her name.

As she reread the article the scowl on her face only grew deeper till when she finished reading she ignited her horn and a moment later the paper burst into flames. A second later a pile of ash fell to the floor and Twilight began to stomp on it and grind the ashes into the floor of the dining room as she growled. The more she thought of the article the more her blood boiled.

Spike walked into the dining room and blinked as he found her priming a brick of plastic explosive on top of the pile of ashes. “Uh….Twilight, what are you doing?” he asked a bit uncertain.

“Taking out the trash.” She said firmly as she placed the last wire in the brick, now all that was left to do was detonate it.

Before she could push the button Spike grabbed the detonator from her hand. “Ok, I think you need to calm down.” He said soothingly.

Twilight glared at him for a moment before she blinked as what she just about did sunk in. Had she really been so mad she was going to detonate a brick of plastic explosives while she was standing over it? The hell was wrong with her?

Sighing Twilight started to disarm the explosive. “Sorry, something in the paper just really made me mad.” She said apologetically as she worked.

“Well I think it’s safe to say we reached the mood swing stage.” The young drake said with a small chuckle as he placed the detonator on the table and went to start breakfast.

Twilight grumbled, it had been about a week since her visit to the Refuge and thus she had been pregnant for about two and a half months. After a few more tests Dr. Helpinghoof had managed to determine about how far along she was. According to the tests she had gotten pregnant sometime in the week after her coronation, that left only a few points that it could have happened as her and Chrysalis had only slept together twice that week, once as a sort of celebration as Twilight being crowned a princess had caused her political enemies to nearly shit a brick, the look of horror and fear on some of their faces absolutely amazing that Twilight had barely kept her wings under control, thank the gods she had researched certain aspects of pegasi biology in her study of medicine so knew what to expect when she had wings.

However even if her wings did stay under her control the look of absolute fear on some of their faces had been too much and thus her and Chrysalis had celebrated her coronation once everything had calmed down so they could slip away, it had almost been painful as the ceremony and after party took hours as everyone wanted to meet and congratulate her.

The second time had just been a bit of stress relief as she had to be tutored in all things Princess as running an army and running a section of the country were drastically different. Still despite the stress Twilight had adapted to it like she adapted to everything else.

Twilight was sure it was one of those two times as they were the only two events that fit the time frame.

Twilight finished disarming the explosive and placed it back into her pocket dimension along with the detonator. If she really was at that stage she would need to be extra careful as she had kept her true nature hidden by keeping her emotions under careful control, this incident proved that she was losing some of that control.

She was drawn out of her concern by Spike belching green flames that formed into a scroll that missed the floor as the purple alicorn caught it in her magic.

Unrolling it she didn’t need to read who it was from as only Celestia still sent messages this way, even with the advancements in technology the Princess of the Sun still preferred this method of communication as it was more personal, Twilight liked it as well for that reason but also because there was no way anyone could intercept the message.

Unrolling the scroll Twilight began to read.

Dear Twilight

I hope this letter finds you well. I know the meeting you had with the EDF Command Staff was scheduled for this afternoon but something has come up that requires your immediate attention her in Canterlot and I ask that you arrive as soon as possible.
Celestia

Twilight eyes widened at the message, Celestia didn’t send urgent messages often, something major must have happened. With thoughts filled with all the possible scenarios Twilight shot to her feet and headed for the door.

“Twilight you need to eat.” Spike said somewhat firmly. Twilight knew she’d never hear the end of it if she skipped a meal in her condition and so ran back and grabbed an apple and some bread that she put peanut butter on before rushing out the door leaving a satisfied dragon behind her as she ate while heading out the door, she had given her pilots the morning off as she didn’t need them till this afternoon and thus it would take too long to find them so she headed for the train station hopping whatever disaster had happened could be dealt with by the rest of the command staff till she arrived.

<<>>

Twilight was going to kill Celestia that was simply a fact. While many saw the alicorns as goddesses, which simply wasn’t true. Yes they did not age past a certain point and they most likely would live forever facts were they could be killed like anyone else. It was only difficult because of the large amounts of magical power they possessed which allowed them to use extremely powerful healing spells and the like. But a little poison in her cake would take down Celestia as surly as a sniper’s bullet from range.

Thinking about it Twilight would most likely need to deal with Luna as well as she probably had something to do with this as well so it looked like Plan 77 would be a ago and Twilight would be becoming the sole ruler of Equestria by the end of the week.

What had brought about this decision of a coup was what Twilight found when she arrived at the castle in Canterlot. With her mind racing with all possible disasters and plans forming to counter them all the alicorn had failed to notice the gate guards’ smirks as she walked by.

When she arrived to the castle she had been guide to where Celestia waited, that had been the first red flag as rather than being escorted to the throne room or Celestia’s study she was taken to one of the ball rooms. She suspected something was up.

Walking into the ball room the suspicion had been proven correct when there was a cry of “Congratulation Twilight” from the group of ponies, the two royals included when she entered. Twilight had assessed the situation in an instant, food spread out on the tables, non-alcoholic drinks, balloons, streamers, all her friends and everyone else she knew and a massive banner reading “CONGRATULATIONS!” hung above a pile of presents wrapped in various bows and wrapping paper. Her mind could only come to one conclusion. This was a party to celebrate her status of being pregnant. Twilight hated most parties that were not Pinkie Pie style parties and that meant she hated all parties and being the center of attention in these parties only made it worse.

The smile on Celestia’s muzzle and that spark in her eye reveled who had arranged this and the slightly smaller but still matching spark in Luna’s eye proved who helped.

Yes they were both going to die. Maybe not today or tomorrow but at some point when they least expected it she would deliver a killing blow and rule the land for all time with no fear of the Royal Sisters arranging this sort of party for her ever again.

Putting on her friendliest smile Twilight looked around the room more noticeably. “What is all of this?” She asked, feigning ignorance and surprise.

One of the castle servants closes to her smiled wide. “It’s a party to congratulate you on your pregnancy.” They said happily.

Twilight blinked and looked around. “Really? All this just for me?” She looked at the servant. “You really shouldn’t have.” She said with a smile. And she meant it to though not in the friendly way she said it.

Celestia chose this moment to walk over with the same smile on her face. “Of course we should have it’s not everyday someone you know gets pregnant and it’s all anyone in the castle can talk about what with it being in the paper and all.” Celestia said.

Twilight stared at her, while she knew Celestia would have respected her privacy enough to keep the pregnancy secret till Twilight chose she knew the Sun Princess was not above taking full advantage of the fact everyone knew now to tease her.

“While I’d have liked to have wait before announcement it seems fate has deiced everyone should know now.” Twilight said, she made a mental not to track down who told and lock them away in a deep dark hole in Irongate Prison Complex up north.

“Yes it seems that way and with that announcement we simply could not have a party for the newest Princess to celebrate her growing family.” Luna said walking up to join the two of them.

Twilight nodded. “Of course not, I’ll simply have to find a way to thank the both of you.” Twilight said with a smile and the other two smiled back, war had officially be declared and while Twilight was still new to this type of war she knew she could hold her own against ancient alicorns. All she had to do was keep her wits about her and use the rescores available to her.

Twilight spotted a mass of black chitin near the refreshments table. “If you two will excuse me I think I’m going to go grab a drink.” She said and when the two royal nodded she split off from the heading straight for the mass of chitin that was the changeling queen trying to avoid detection two bad the only other changelings in the room were considerably smaller and looked nothing like her. “Hey Queeny so good to see you here.” Twilight said as she walked up to the queen.

“Yes, it’s good to see you as well.” Chrysalis said as her eyes darted around looking for an escape route.

Twilight nodded. “I bet it is, this was a total surprise to walk into a party like this without a single word of warning or hint what so ever.”

The queen broke down. “They made me Pinkie Promise not to warn you.” Just maybe if she told the alicorn it was a promise then she could survive.

Twilight nodded once more. “Oh no doubt they did as I don’t think you’d have kept me in the dark about this ambush otherwise.” She said and leaned closer to the queen the same friendly smile on her face. “Still though I think I’ll show you just how much this party really means to me the next chance I get.”

The Queen swallowed and nodded before sighing in relief. Seems her plan paid off as she dodged the chopping block and would just receive a standard punishment. Though what that could be was anyone’s guess as it all depended on the mare’s mood at the time of giving it.

With that out of the way twilight relaxed. “Anyways how you been Queeny?”

“Oh fine all around. Showed up here for the staff meeting and got dragged into all of this.” She gestured with a holed hoof to the party around them. “By the two leaders of the nation’s I’m sworn to protect and made to promise not to send a changeling to warn you.” Chrysalis said.

“So….pretty much a normal week?” Twilight asked.

“Pretty much though usually it’s you roping me into some sort of scheme so this is a breath of fresh air.” Chrysalis said.

Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof as she thought. “Yeah actually your right, this probably is refreshing as usually I’m the one screwing with people.” She said thoughtfully. “So this is what it feels like to be on the receiving end.”

“Well I wouldn’t say the exact same but probably relatively close.” The queen said.

Twilight looked at the queen flatly. “What does that mean?”

“What you find amusing is different than what most other people find amusing.” She said. “You tend to use a more psychological approach.”

“Is it my fault it’s fun watching people squirm?” Twilight asked as she grabbed a glass from the table and started to fill it with some of the punch.

“No, not really but still this isn’t really the same.” Chrysalis said as she followed the alicorns example and grabbed a drink.

“So how much of the rest of the command staff got roped into this?” Twilight asked as she made her way away from the table so others could get drinks if they wanted.

“Just me as far as I know.” The queen said.

Twilight nodded as she sipped her drink. She stopped beside on of the windows and turned to face the party. She felt naked as she had rushed from the library so fast she didn’t have time to grab her uniform and while she still had a spare in her pocket dimension it would be very unprofessional to dress during the party. So she was stuck in just her fur. While most ponies went around without clothes Twilight had worn her uniform for over five decades, it was more natural to wear it when not home then it was to not wear it.

“Well I see some of the staff is here so if the rest show up then I guess we will have the meeting here as it would be ridiculous to all be here and then go elsewhere to talk.” Twilight said as she saw half the staff was here, she was looking for a specific member for what she had planned.

“You sure that is wise to talk so publicly?” Chrysalis asked.

“It will be fine as this meeting is just talking about each Divisions budget in a general manner and a few other things that will be public record tomorrow anyways.” Twilight said as she spotted who she was looking for. She downed the rest of her drink and headed two the two who stood slightly apart from the rest of the party against the wall.

Before she reached them Celesta stepped into her bath. “Twilight why don’t you open your gifts?” She said with the same amused smile on her face that made Twilight want to punch her former mentor in the face, she wouldn’t, maybe.

Twilight sighed. “Yes, yes fine.” She said as she was lead over to a table beside the stack of gifts. How people bought gifts this fast was beyond her.

The gifts were what she expected from a party such as this, toys for a foal, some clothes, blankets and all manner of foal related items. Every bit of it was gender neutral as not even twilight knew the gender of the foal as it was still too early to safely tell if they even could.

As far as she knew no one had ever tried to determine the gender of a foal of an alicorn before it was born and with her foal being half changeling queen who knew if it would even be possible at all. As she opened gifts and had the standard “d’awws” and picture taken of the happy expectant mother, thank the gods she had perfect the same sort of mask Celestia had that hid her real emotions. Granted twilight’s had been crafted for a different reason then Celestia, least she was pretty sure the older alicorn wasn’t a psychopath, hard to tell as after a millennia she’d have perfected hiding it.

After the gifts came cake and food, while Twilight hated to admit it the cake tasted beyond amazing and she ended up having several slices everyone else watched with amused smiles as she ate her sixth slice. She just glared at them which made them laugh as she was still taking bites. Not her fault it tasted so good.

In the end it took almost two hours for her to be left alone so she could approach the two who still stood apart from the rest of the party sipping drinks. “Director Griltan, Director Star it’s good to see you.” She said with a smile.

“Good to see you too Commander.” Griltan said as he sipped his drink. Griltan was the Director of the Military Intelligence Division, what the changeling infiltrators became when the hive was absorbed into the EDF so long ago. As an infiltrator Griltan was slimmer than the standard solder and worker changeling as their entire purpose was to avoid detection and thus was slimmer and smaller.

Though Griltan looked different than a standard changeling infiltrator do to the scar that ran down from the base of his horn, just past his left eye and along the left side of his jaw. A rare sight as changeling healing slaves didn’t leave scars as the chitin healed completely under its effects.

The changeling had received his distinction when he was just a young M.I.D operative assigned to infiltrate a sort of cult based in Manehatten who worshiped Luna and planned to overthrow Celestia to place the Lunar Princess on the throne.

Griltan had received a kill order for the leader of the cult but an unfortunately arrival of one of the cultists has alerted everyone to who he was. The fight had been fierce and Griltan had taken out several of the attacking cultists down before one got a lucky slash across his face with a knife. They had beaten him severely and tossed into the river that fed into the ocean.

Somehow the changeling had survived and made it to short and despite his injuries succeeded in carrying out his kill order earning himself a medal and a long stay in the hospital.

The stallion beside him was Director Blinding Star, head of the Biohazard Containment Division of the EDF. The BCD handled any and all biological and chemical outbreaks that happened all across the world. The ponies and changelings of the BCD had seen some of the most horrifying things on the planet and had a very large respect for nature that bordered on worship just do to the sheer power of nature and what it could do with its viruses and bacteria to living being.

Blinding Star had a fist hand experience with such a virus while dealing with an outbreak in a small Saddle Arabian village when a patience he was examining had attacked him. The ensuing fight resulted in his hazmat suit being ruptured and the stallion being infected with the flesh eating virus that was everything in the village.

Despite everything Dr. Star had locked himself in one of the mobile labs that had been set up and continued to work as the viruses slowly ate away as his flesh, running tests on himself as a live subject. In the end he found an anti-viruses but not before a large part of his own flesh had been eaten away and even with the anti-virus dealing with the flesh eating virus the unicorn had nearly died of infection as almost 70% of his skin was gone and just wrapped in bandaged he had no way to change. According to the reports he had actually used duct tape as bandages when his ran out.

He lived but was more scared up then Twilight was as everywhere the virus had been was now scar tissue as he had refused skin grafts on the ground the survivors of the village needed it more than him. Thus along the rise side of his jaw, down most of his neck, his entire chest, all of his right leg and most of the left as well as everything down his body and stopping just before his Cutie Mark of a microscope and down one back leg was nothing but scar tissue.

“How are you two enjoying the party?” She asked the two Division Directors.

“I do not like being around so many people.” Director Star said as he watched the crowd. The BCD doctors where famous for the total displeasure of being in large groups of people and with all they had seen it was understandable.

Twilight nodded. “I know, after out meeting you can return to your facility.” She told the stallion and he nodded in thanks. Twilight then looked at the other director.

Griltan just shrugged. “Enjoying it as well as you’d expect.” He said, as an infiltrator he naturally did not like being in his natural form around so many non-changelings as he felt exposed.

Twilight nodded. “Well after the meeting is dismissed you can return to work.” Twilight said and then smirked. “Actually Director can I talk to you for a moment?” She asked and the director nodded and followed twilight a little ways away from Blinding Star.

Twilight leaned close to the head of the M.I.D. “I got a mission I need taken care of, one that will be the highest levels of top secret, a total black operation with no traces left behind.” She said and the Director nodded.

“Alright, I think I have a team in mind, what’s the mission?” He asked and twilight smiled.

<<>>

In the dead of night when all but the Lunar Guard and the few night servants and Princess Luna herself were awake with in the castle much of the castle sat empty. One such place was Celestia’s persona study. Empty and with no lights on the room sat quiet.

Till a very faint clicking could be heard from the door that lead out tonto the small balcony. After a short time the clicking ceased and the door knob turned. The door opened silently as the dark figure outside silently placed the lock pick set back into a pocket of his vest. Slowly two figures slipped into the room and silently closed the door behind them.

“Team two, infiltration successful, no sign of guard activity, proceeding with objectives” the changeling infiltrator said over the link to the first team that was infiltrating Celestia’s privet bedroom.

“Confirmed Team Two, proceed with caution, after this enter link silence till we contact you.” The leader of team one replied. Link silence as a lot like radio silence only with the hivemind and usually meant an infiltrator was doing something incredibly dangerous and needed full concentration. Infiltrating Princess Celestia’s privet bedroom while she slept to steal the slice of cake she always kept in her fridge more than qualified as dangerous.

Team two didn’t reply as they moved through the room, their eyes naturally adjusting to the low light allowing them to see as if I was early dawn.

While one of the two infiltrators made for the small hidden fridge to recover the cake hidden within the other carefully booted up Celestia’s computer. The infiltrator had the thanks the Mothers that modern computer were silent when they booted up and not like the old ones that made an awful noise when they booted up as that would surely alert the guards patrolling the halls.

Once the computer was booted up the infiltrator hooked up a small device to it, the device linked the PC to a fifth infiltrator hidden in another part of the castle that then proceeded to hack the computer and then open up the messaging system.

The infiltrator watched as the hacker typed out the message they were supposed to send, it had to be perfect and match Celestia’s writing style perfectly, it did.

“I have decided to go on a small diet so for the next week no cake is allowed with in the castle. It is important that I stay on this diet so no matter what I say you are not to give me any cake till the week is out.

Please send a message to all bakeries and other shops that sell cake and tell them the same thing.

Under no circumstances are you to give me cake.
Princess Celestia.”

With the message sent to the kitchen, the night staff would carry it out and inform the day staff and ensure the word spread, the infiltrator unhooked the device and shut down the computer before looking at his fellow infiltrator who was half way through eating a slice of cake.

“What are you doing?” The first whispered angel.

“Disposing of the cake.” The second whisper back and the first facehoofed.

“We are taking it with us, not eating it.” The first said.

“oooohhhhh.” The second said quietly and wrapped the cake up and placed it in his back.

The first rolled his eyes. “Why do I always get stuck with the F.N.Gs” he said, F.N.G standing for fucking new guy.

With the cake now properly secure team two headed onto the balcony and relocked the door, the room complete undisturbed as if they had never been there.

With the door locked team two made their way down the wall to reach the rendezvous point to wait for team one.

Half way there team one reported completion of their objective and they were on the way.

Once they arrived the team disappeared into the night their mission complete with no one the wiser.

Author's Note

Commander Twilight Sparkle doesn't play games, even during a Prank War, she going right for the throat!