Scootamnesia

by Emperor

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Horror, Dinky Hooves, Scootaloo, Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 4510

My name is Scootaloo. I am an orphan. That's a little bit uncommon but not unusual, right? The toughest part is my mother walking by me and not recognising me as her child.

My name is Scootaloo. I am an orphan. That's a little bit uncommon but not unusual, right? Well, in my case my mother isn't quite dead yet.

The toughest part is her walking by me and not recognising me as her child.

Written for F*** This Prompt #11: Scootaloo is an orphan (Runner-Up)

Published 2016-06-13 21:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-13 21:40:01 UTC

Motherless in Ponyville

My name is Scootaloo. I'm ten years old, and I live in Ponyville. I'm a pegasus. I recently got my Cutie Mark, a wicked design of a shield with a lightning bolt and a wing inside the shield, even if I'm still not entirely sure what it means. I like to describe my coat colour as being a burnt orange, because the word 'burnt' makes orange actually sound cool. I go to Ponyville Elementary with my two best friends, Apple Bloom, an Earth pony, and Sweetie Belle, a unicorn.

I am also an orphan.

Does that sound odd to bring up all of a sudden? If I were listening to somepony else describe herself, I would be confused as to why she suddenly brought that up. It isn't a fact I like to advertise. After all, even though everypony else tells me that I'm an orphan, in my head I still have a mother.

The toughest part is when my mother walks by me and only recognises me as 'Scootaloo' and not 'her precious little Scoots'.

My mother was a bubbly pegasus. Some might call her simple, others might call her clumsy but well-meaning, but I loved her all the same. She appreciated life, living with an unbridled energy that I could not help but to emulate. She loved her namesake muffins, and when I got home from school there would always be a batch of fresh, hot muffins sitting on the table for me, complete with a slab of butter. Blueberry muffins, carrot muffins, chocolate chip muffins...I disliked bran muffins, but anything else was always a delight, a treat that the younger me looked forward to. My friends couldn't wait until the end of the school day so they didn't have to sit in class any longer. I couldn't wait because I knew there would be a muffin waiting for me.

Those were the days, when I would go over to play at Sweetie Belle's place, and she would come over to play at mine. Me and Sweetie Belle go back several years, when I was shier than I am now and Sweetie Belle practically squeaked every word she said. While Sweetie's mother is a fairly nice, caring mare, her father is the most laid-back pony I have ever met, at least when he's not watching hoofball. You cannot help but feel calm when he's around, that's just the effect he has.

Then there's Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom is our mutual friend, being the third member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, devoted to getting our marks until we actually got them. I feel a little bit guilty about Apple Bloom, actually. I think she felt like the third wheel to myself and Sweetie at times, only becoming friends with us later on, and missing out on the numerous in-jokes me and Sweetie had. Maybe that's why she was far more anxious than we were about getting our Cutie Marks, leading to her getting the Cutie Pox that one time. Until Diamond Tiara bullied me over my inability to fly, I thought I had thick skin. Now I know what Apple Bloom must have been struggling with every time Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon called us blank flanks.

It was a nice life. Even after Nightmare Moon's return, I was blind to the possibility of danger. I huddled together with Sweetie Belle and, though I didn't know her at the time, Apple Bloom for a little bit under a table before mother found me. After taking me home, mother stayed with me that entire night, and I felt safe in her grasp. Shortly after Apple Bloom joined me and Sweetie Belle and we became the Cutie Mark Crusaders is where it all went wrong.

Mother was coaching me through the beginning steps of flying when it happened.

I remember that day too well. I wish I didn't.

There was a new student in our class. Her name was Dinky, and she was a unicorn. When Miss Cheerilee asked Dinky where she was from, Dinky said, "I've lived in Ponyville all my life."

That got my attention. Ponyville isn't exactly the backwater that Canterlot ponies seem to think of it as, but it's still not that large of a community. Chances are I've seen every filly and colt who lives in Ponyville numerous times over the years. Yet I had never seen Dinky before that day.

Before school let out that day, I had shrugged it off. Perhaps Dinky had been sick and stayed indoors most of the time, or perhaps she was from a rich family and stayed in the posh part of town. If I had had rich parents with a house like Diamond Tiara has, I know I would have used my swimming pool every day.

When I began to leave school, I saw Dinky was walking home the same was I was headed. I offered to take her on my scooter, and she accepted. On the way, I chatted with her a little bit and learned about her family. According to Dinky, her mother was a pegasus who loved muffins and worked at a store.

I suppose alarm bells should have started ringing in my head then, but really, that was then. Until it actually occurred, I could never possibly have predicted what had just happened to me. It would have required me to be able to comprehend the world in ways I still can't.

Dinky pointed me directions that took me closer and closer to my own house, and I was rather surprised that she lived so close to me. It was only when we reached the end of the street where my home was that everything came together at once, punching me in the gut.

"But...that's my house!" I said. Even then, my mind was rushing through scenarios. Did I have a cousin in Ponyville my mother never mentioned who had been invited over? Did mother adopt a filly without telling me? They were all silly, outlandish ideas, but even still I think them more plausible than what happened to me.

"What are you talking about?" Dinky asked. She was confused. "I've always lived here. Hey, do you want to come in? My mommy always leaves me muffins, you can have one or two."

I walked in with her without saying another word. I don't know why. I think I was too confused to really form words at the time.

The house looked the same at first glance. The walls, doors and windows were all in the same place, the walls were the same colour of paint, the furniture was laid out exactly as it had been when I left home that morning. The pleasant smell of muffins coming from the kitchen was there as always. Mother had said she'd be home a little after I was that day, and maybe a part of me thought she'd come in and everything would be cleared up, to the hearty laughs of all.

Then I took a look at the wall where mother put all her family photos.

I...I'm not proud of what happened next, but in that moment I was blinded with anger. If this was a practical joke, it was one that had gone too far. Many of the photos were of me and mother, or me by myself. I was no longer in them. Instead, the wall was plastered with pictures of mother and Dinky together.

I got into a fight with Dinky. She never even saw the first punch coming, as she was chewing a muffin. That was my plate of muffins! She didn't know what was going on, which gave me enough time for a second, third and fourth follow-up punch. By the fifth, she was pressed up against a wall, curled in on herself, trying to protect herself from my blows by crossing her limbs in front of her body. She was sobbing, and that was what held me back from a fifth punch. That, and the blood. Oh Princesses, there was blood. Not lots of it, but she was definitely bleeding from the nose, her one cheek was already beginning to swell, and I think I may have even knocked out a tooth.

It was this scene that my mother stepped into.

"What are you doing?!" She yelled. It was the horror in the voice that made me jump more than anything, turning around. I was already in tears myself by that point, and I was incredibly skittish. Yet, mother's presence was more reassuring than anything, even though I was practically caught in the act.

But then she went to Dinky and hugged her, pressing

"Shh, my little muffin, it's alright dear. Mommy's here, it's ok, don't worry. Hush, hush, I'm here, does it hurt? Here, let me kiss it away,"

Then she turned her gaze on me. I've seen my mother angry at me at times, but there's always a look of compassion and love behind it. Not this time. This time, her face was of pure rage. She hated me. She loathed me. I disgusted her.

"How dare you," Mother said, "How dare you? Did my daughter invite you in for muffins? It was just her first day at school, and she just wanted to make friends, and this is how you treat her? You mean, mean pony. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Then she turned back to Dinky, attempting to comfort the unicorn filly again.

I was actually wrong earlier when I said I remembered that day clearly. After the fight and what mother said to me, it's a bit of a blur. I think one of the civil watch ponies picked me up and took me to the orphanage. The matron is a kind mare, but first impressions are hard to die. When I first met her, she was livid on hearing what I had done, her normally white coat light pink with flustered rage. She locked me up in a single room with no food, only allowed to come out for a bathroom break, as a punishment for getting into a fight.

That night...I never want to repeat that night. I was locked up in a room all by myself, and I had no idea what had just happened to me. The shock had robbed me of my ability to even really think. I don't know how I managed to get myself to sleep that night, as my eyes burned with hot tears all night long, but somehow I did.

When I woke up the next day, I was no longer grounded. I wonder why ponies use that term to mean somepony is in trouble. To me, 'grounded' has a far worse meaning. I want to be able to fly someday.

Sorry, getting off-track. As I said, I was no longer grounded. But it wasn't because the matron had decided she had treated me too harshly. It was because she had completely forgotten that I had been in a fight the night before. When she found me in the room, now mysterious unlocked, she scolded me for taking a room to myself, and said I wasn't due a single room for another year. I was supposed to sleep in a room with another filly until I was nine years old. She then marched me down to the room with another filly, the room where I had supposedly been bunking for several years already. Sunny Daze was a nice pony, but sadly I shunned her. I didn't yell at her or anything, but I think she realised I didn't want to be her friend. I'm glad she at least found a good friend in Peachy Pie.

I was skittish when the matron sent me off to school that day. I wanted to ditch and go hang out in the newly-built Crusader Clubhouse, but enough fillies and colts were going to school one of them would have snitched on me if I didn't. So I went.

Dinky Hooves didn't have a scratch on her. She didn't remember our fight the day before at all. Nopony but for me did.

As far as everypony is concerned, I have been an orphan since the day I was born, with no identifiable mother or father. Thanks to Pinkie Pie's help, I've been able to see my birth certificate in City Hall. To my eyes, my mother and father's names are clear as day on it. To Pinkie Pie's eyes, my mother and father are both listed as 'unknown'. The doctor who delivered me at Ponyville Hospital doesn't even remember the mare who gave birth to me. I asked her, and her eyes just glazed over before she started talking about something else. If I ask Sweetie Belle about all the times she played over at my place, she doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about.

When I lost my mother, it was a fresh blow to the gut. To everypony else, though, I had been without a parent for my full lifetime. Sunny Daze had no idea why I broke down into tears so often at night. It was a time of darkness for me, and I am phenomenally glad that I never broke down in front of Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. I'm especially grateful to Sweetie Belle: even as I lost my mother, I still had my closest friend. If it weren't for her, I...I don't know what I would have done.

Ponies remember me day-to-day. They know who I am. But they've forgotten me as being 'Scootaloo, daughter of Muffins' and instead know me as 'Scootaloo, orphan, unknown parentage'.

You know what the worst part of it was? Whatever force stole my mother has actively been working against me. I told you already, the doctor's eyes just glazed over, but it's not just her, it's everypony. I talked to Princess Luna in a dream, once. After she helped me get over my fears of a scary story, I tried talking to her about my real issue. She...even Princess Luna was affected by this, this whatever it is. I described my entire situation to her, and she just, she just tilted her head over and said, "Sorry, Scootaloo, what were you saying?"

After Twilight Sparkle ascended, I hoped against hope. She taught us Cutie Mark Crusaders some individual lessons, including giving me a primer on mechanics and building things by hoof. One day, I managed to catch her with a little bit of free time, and I described to her exactly what I'm talking to you about right now. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. The only thing I discovered was that Twilight was suddenly able to notice all her free time was gone, even though she didn't remember a single thing from the last twenty minutes.

I've heard vague mentions about what Princess Twilight's new student did. Apparently, Starlight Glimmer changed time or something? I don't honestly know how that works, but from what little gossip I've heard, in the end the changes were undone and time as it was supposed to be carried on. When I asked her, Princess Twilight said the other timelines were not pleasant, and then she changed the subject.

I don't know about that. If changing time stopped this force before it took away my mother, I would be happy in a new timeline where I had my mother. They can't be that bad, can they?

This all started shortly before you came to Ponyville. The matron talks about how this one pony, Berry Punch, is a 'functioning alcoholic'. Like how we sometimes get hyper and out of control after eating too much ice cream, Berry Punch gets clumsy after drinking too much alcohol. I tried it once, it's too bitter for my taste. But Berry Punch is able to function as a pony even though she drinks lots, doing her job well and generally not being a nuisance.

I still, I guess, 'functioned' even through my misery. I don't know how, but I guess maybe it's like what Berry Punch does. But at one point I thought I couldn't go on. Then I met her.

Rainbow Dash saved me. I sort of knew about her, having seen her perform tricks in the skies a few times, but something just pulled me to her one day. Rainbow Dash just saw me as an annoying fanfilly at first. She'd ask me to do menial labour like take out the trash for her at a picnic, but I hopped to it. Somehow, watching her, both when she was relaxed and casual and when she was training gave me strength. Over the next year, she began to tolerate me more and more. Starting a Rainbow Dash fan club might have helped, I know she likes her ego being fed. I still feel bad about also cheering for the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, but Rainbow Dash didn't seem to hold it against me.

One day, however, it happened. After I managed to convince her into going camping with the Crusaders and their big sisters at Winsome Falls, she took me under her wing as her little sister. Following the year of misery since I had lost my mother, it was the happiest day of my life. That was the same time Princess Luna counseled me about facing me fears.

But after Princess Luna disappeared from my dreams, I had a new fear: what if whatever it was that took my mother from me took Rainbow Dash away as well? What if in the morning I woke up and she treated me neutrally, as someone she was aware of at a distance as a fan who lived in Ponyville, and nothing more?

Rainbow Dash still remembered the pledge she had made the night before to take me under her hooves. But I've never broached the subject of my mother to her. I'm absolutely terrified that if I did, whatever evil thing it is that did this to me would notice Rainbow Dash, and wipe her memories of me as well.

Ever since, she's helped me with the flying lessons I had missed out when mother forgot about me, and she's been the best big sister figure a filly could ask for. I just worry I'll wake up one day and she'll ask me who I am.

Whatever it is that took my mother away from me is insidious. After you were locked away, there was a Sisterhooves Social. It's basically a race that takes part in Ponyville once a year with ponies pairing up and entering. Even though it's called Sisterhooves, you'll see lots of mother-and-daughter pairs, some cousins, and even the occasional brother.

Anyways, point is, I went to watch the race that year to support Sweetie Belle, who after some drama with her sister Rarity, decided to run with Applejack instead. I never did get to watch the race. As I looked at the ponies who were participating, I saw her.

No, not my mother, but Dinky. Dinky was there, and she was racing. She was racing with another unicorn, a mare named Amethyst Star. Dinky called Amethyst Star her 'mother' and gushed over her.

I couldn't stomach what was happening. I immediately fled the farm. I went to find my mother, hoping maybe whatever had happened to her had passed on to another mare and that she would remember me.

She didn't.

That Sisterhooves Social is important for another reason. At the race, there was a mother-daughter pair. The mare was called Golden Harvest, a carrot farmer, and she was racing with her daughter Noi.

Weeks later, Noi was suddenly a part of the orphanage. It was just another blow to the gut. What was going on? I had seen Golden Harvest around town the day before, and she had seemed the picture of perfect health. Maybe there was a chance she had died overnight, but I had a sinking feeling that wasn't the case.

There was a town meeting later that day, where Mayor Mare was talking about Applejack, who was due to go off to take place in a rodeo competition. There I saw it: Dinky, standing next to Golden Harvest and another unicorn named Written Script. They were all one big, happy family.

I wasn't able to see Applejack off. Golden Harvest and Dinky were on the train platform at the time, and I physically couldn't bear to get close to them. Instead, I went out to the edge of the Everfree Forest, away from the eyes of others, and threw up my lunch.

Later on, I went to talk to Noi. I cautiously asked her questions, about her past, and I mentioned Golden Harvest and Noi in passing. Noi didn't remember a thing about Golden Harvest being her mother.

By that time, I had my own separate room at the orphanage. It was a good thing, because I pounded my pillow and my mattress as hard as I could, the only things around that wouldn't hurt to punch and wouldn't break under my hooves. I wouldn't have wanted to terrify Sunny Daze with my tantrum.

I like to blame Dinky for everything. Deep down, I don't actually, but it makes me feel good to curse her name anyways. Dinky doesn't seem to remember a thing herself, just like Noi. Whoever her mother and father is for the day, it's as if they've been her parents her whole entire life, and she doesn't remember a thing otherwise. I've thought about asking her many times, but I've always chickened out when I got close. I hated it when Apple Bloom made fun of me and called me a chicken, but maybe in the end that is just what I am. I...I just can't. She at least seems happy. What if I talk to her, and something bad happens again? It was always better to keep things the same than risking things getting worse, I thought.

Why did she take my mother?! They don't even look a thing alike! Mother is a pegasus, my late father was a pegasus, I'm a pegasus, but Dinky is a unicorn. At least Amethyst Star was a unicorn! I hate her, I hate hate hate Dinky.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle have occasionally talked about colts, and Rainbow Dash foisted me onto Princess Twilight to give me 'the talk'. I've thought about finding a coltfriend, but a momentary thought turned me off the idea: what if the same thing happens to me? What if I have a filly, who in a cliche fashion I look down upon with loving eyes and swear to love her forever, and raise to the best of my capability? Only I don't, because whatever happened to me happens to her as well, and as far as I'm concerned I never had a filly, ever, or perhaps a different filly is my daughter.

I think what truly chills me is that, when I grow up, I'll never actually know if that has happened to me or not. I'll try not to think about it, but every moment of every day that thought will be niggling at the back of my head: 'Am I truly foalless, or did I already have a filly and forgot about her?'

My memories of fillyhood are too strong, too vivid, too numerous for it to all have been a hallucination or a psycho break or whatever you call it like I've read in those fiction stories. I'm pretty sure this actually happened to me, and that I didn't just imagine Muffins was my mother to compun, compern, fill in for my being an orphan for many years.

The other day was the last straw. I saw Dinky taking a walk with another pony named Millie, calling her her mother. I'll be damned if this, whatever it is, works one day longer. Noi already lost her mother and doesn't even remember it. Who will it hurt next? Will I maybe forget about all of this tomorrow, and think that I've always been an orphan?

Give me Nightmare Moon, give me another Changeling invasion, give me the return of Tirek. I'll be scared of them, but at least they're physical beings that I can see. Whatever force it is that robbed me of my mother has stopped me from finding a solution to this, or even answers as to why it happened to me.

I'm sorry, but I was scared of you. I still am scared of you, to be honest. What you did, can do, I can't stop you. I'm not an alicorn, nor do I have a magical thing protecting me. But I miss my mother, and for that I overcame my fear enough to talk to you. I just want her to call me Scoots again. Do you remember what I just talked about?

The draconequus looked at the watch on his wrist. Why did he have a watch? Because. When it came to matters that dealt with him, that was always a sufficient answer. He thought he would have been bored, but for some reason the filly had been interesting. It was as if he was listening to something new every few seconds, and if you added up enough 'every few seconds', you got to just shy of a half hour. Was this Scootaloo really that good a story-teller? Did he maybe feel slightly obligated to her because she was one of the three fillies that helped him to finally get free from his thousand-year imprisonment? Or was there something else affecting him, lingering at the edge of his senses, ready to ambush him when he dropped his guard for even a second, that had spiked his interest in listening to Scootaloo?

"So," Discord drawled, "What were you saying about your mother again?"

Author's Note

I have been told this idea sounds a little bit like shortskirtsandexplosion's Background Pony. Full disclosure: I am aware of the plot of BP and have read the first few chapters, so it is entirely possible I was inadvertently inspired by it.

This story was the merger of two separate ideas. The first part came from a joke in the FIMfiction chat about Dinky having multiple mothers, and 'Will the real Dinky's mother real stand up?' following a recent episode, where Dinky was shown with yet another adult mare (Millie). For the 'F*** this Prompt' I hashed out a few 'Scootaloo is an orphan' ideas before deciding to combine it with the former for a bit of a horror story.

As Scootaloo says in her very first line, she's ten years old, so I attempted to write her voice as close as possible. She'll occasionally use big words but not too many. Scootaloo is also a little mentally out of it and she gets distracted and rambles a lot, since she's used to ponies tuning her out once she starts talking about her situation.