It started with a question.
"You want to fly?"
Of course that's how it started. I've always been inquisitive, curious, so of course things would start with a question. My question, of course - directed towards one Princess Twilight Sparkle. It's funny, how hard it is to think of her like that. She doesn't act like a princess at all.
"Well, I suppose you could rent a balloon or ask one of the local pegasi to take you up for a while. Not me, please - I don't think I'm confident enough in my flying to carry somepony else alongside me, certainly nop - body who doesn't have wings of their own."
Then again, what do I know? Princesses are people too, even back home. They're just celebrities like everybody else, and everybody - human or pony - has their own quirks and oddities. I'm willing to bet Twilight puts up a more regal front when actually doing her duties. It's kind of touching, really, that she's so relaxed around me and the ponies around town.
"I... suppose there's a spell for that, but it's really quite tiring and the results are kind of fragile. Did we ever tell you about the time Rarity fell from Cloudsdale because she flew too high? Still, if you're sure, why don't you come by tomorrow morning? It should be pretty interesting to see how the spell interacts with your morphology anyway!"
Princess Twilight Sparkle.
"Alright, have a nice day!"
I really should thank her one of these days for all she's done for me. Properly thank her, that is - I haven't really done anything like that in a while. Would it be forward of me to offer to take her to lunch? Well, no, she would take it in the spirit with which it was given, I'm sure. Considering her nature, I doubt the thought would even enter her mind. It probably says something that it entered mine. But what does it matter, really? Lunch is one of the few ways I can think of to thank her, properly. To thank her in a manner that is both personal and heartfelt, without being overly... needy? Pushy?
I don't know.
"Oh, you're here! Sorry I took so long getting the door. Are you ready? This should only take a few moments."
Still, point is, I need to thank her.
"Amazing! I never expected such unique wing structure! I wonder if this is a result of your unique thaumic signature or an adaptive component of the spell itself? There is that one fiddly bit I still haven't deciphered yet... I'm sorry, what? Oh, yes, you're very welcome. Please be careful, they could be vulnerable to the same heat and strength issues the other specimens displayed."
And come to think of it....
"Hey! How'd you get those awesome wings, huh?"
Well, I suppose I should find a way to apologize. That entire spectacle was just such... such a mess.
"No, no, no, you're doing it all wrong! Alright, see the way you're trying to stretch them all the way out before flapping? You need to have them bent slightly so that you can get the proper force, and the way you're bending your legs just disrupts your concentration and flow when your wings start hitting the ground. They're too big for you to try and jump up like that - you need to lift with the wings and your back, not the legs."
I suppose a card would be a good way to start. A nice and neutral method to get things moving. Eventually I'll see her and she'll probably comment on the card - and that's when I can try and apologize personally. But... is that too indirect? Would she talk to me? Or would she just ignore me? What would I do then, just... continue on my way? I... I don't want things to end like that.
"Alright, see, now you're getting there. Hey, what do you say to a break? Flying gets tiring real fast and if you don't feed yourself properly, you won't be able to learn anything. Particularly since none of your muscles have gotten used to getting into the proper positions."
But what else could I do if that was the case? I don't want to be pushy, but at the same time, don't I deserve to at least try and get closer? She's always been hot-headed, but she's not going to get all pissed off at me just for trying to make things up to her and get back to normal, right?
"Huh? Nah, of course I don't mind. I used to know a griffon. Heck, I've eaten the stuff before - it's not all that bad, but it's way too hard to chew. Guess that's not a problem for you, huh? You got those little vampony fangs in your mouth. What? I don't see any dogs - oh. Really? That's weird. Anyway, yeah, it's fine."
I guess there's not really all that much I can do but go for it and hope for the best. Except... that's what got me into this mess in the first place. God, why do I always have to be so indecisive? Here I've been sitting for, what, two hours? Just arguing with myself over absolutely nothing, try to figure just what it is I'm supposed to do. Just what it is I need to do. And yet I haven't come to a concrete decision yet.
"Yo! You ready to get flying today? You've really improved, y'know. I'm actually surprised those wings haven't disappeared yet - did Twilight say how long they would last? Nah? Eh, whatever. If they disappear I'll catch you and we can just have Twilight recast the spell."
Or... well, no, I suppose I have. It's just I don't want to. I don't want to deal with all of this. And isn't that just like me? Figure out the perfect - or at least the best - way to handle things, and then just let it sit around while everything falls apart because I'm too much of a coward to ever do anything. Why can't I be like her? Why can't I actually do something!? Why do I have to be so
"Careful there, buddy. Thermals are fun, but getting lazy on them is a good way to crash."
Freaking
"Aww yeah! Look at his face! Bwahahaha, that was awesome! What was it, high five? High five, buddy!"
Pathetic!
"So what do you think of my place, eh? Pretty awesome, right? You can eat a salad, right? Alright, we'll eat and then get back to dunking some poor ponies."
Always! Every single time, every single time I've always messed everything up! Even when I get an entire new life, when I've accomplished what I dreamed of, I just... I'm....
"Hey, hey, it's alright, man. Fluttershy is... sensitive. I know you didn't mean to hurt her, and she knows it too. You just gotta remember to keep it low around her, 'kay? C'mon, quit it with the tears. Totally un-cool, y'know. We'll head to her house tomorrow and apologize, alright?"
I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for her. I don't know why I ever bothered to try when it should have been obvious from the very beginning. When it has been obvious from the very beginning. I've been a waste of space and a burden on everybody I've known - I always have been. Nothing but a lazy piece of crap.
"Alright! Great job, buddy! Man, those things are seriously impressive. Not as awesome as me, of course, but wow you can put out some force."
I just... I just wanted something special, I guess. I wanted to finally accomplish something on a personal level. I wanted to... I don't even know. I wanted trust. Care. I wanted somebody - somepony - who knew me just as well as I knew them, who had my back through thick and thin. Somepony who thought I was... important. Special. Different. I just....
"Hey, buddy! What'cha need to talk about?"
I just wanted somepony who loved me.
"I... I don't know what to say, uh, buddy...."
I wanted somepony to love.
"I'm... I'm sorry, but... I just...."
I wanted somepony to give me meaning. To tell me I'm important.
"I can't... don't... not with you."
To tell me they loved me.
"Hey!"
What?
"Yeah, I see you up there! What do you think you're doing, huh!?"
I - I'm - but you - what the -
"Oh shut up! C'mon, we're going flying."
I - alright, I guess....
"So."
What?
"I wanted to say I'm sorry."
What! I'm the one who should apolo -
"Hey, shut up! I wanted to say I'm sorry 'cause... well, things didn't come out right when we talked, okay? Everypony's been talking about how you've been all depressed and I figured I should give you some time, but then I talked to Fluttershy and I got to thinking, well... I didn't explain right."
I... you explained perfectly. I understand, reall -
"No, you don't! You're a great pony - guy, human, whatever! And honestly, anypony would be lucky to be with you, okay? But not me. I - I can't be with you that way, okay?"
B - uh. I... just... sorry.
"Stop apologizing! Grrugh! I suck at this! Alright, listen. We're friends. Great friends. And I get where you're coming from, hay, I've thought about this kind of stuff too. But you've gotta understand, this kind of thing... I've tried before, okay? And it doesn't work. I'm not... I'm not built for it. I don't... I can't...."
...Sor - Listen, it's just... we've been friends for a long time, and... I love you, alright? Romantic or not, you're the best friend I've ever had. And... and I've always dreamed of finding somebody who I could just... be... like this. With.
"I get that, I really do! But... dating... that's different, okay? There's all kinds of expectations and there's a lot of things you've gotta start sharing and... and I'm sorry, but... you're not a pony. You're nothing like a pony. I wouldn't even know where to start with... well... y'know. It's not that I don't like you or think you're a great - whatever - but I can't... be like that, and force myself, and... and change."
...I understand, Dash. I think I understand. I... I thought about this all a lot, but I always assumed that, well, I'd be the one trying to get past the whole... body thing. And I always thought that you... no, that I'd be able to change however I needed to for you. Become... I dunno, more courteous, or challenging, or something. But really, I just... I needed... I don't know. I always felt like there needs to be more to be happy. To be satisfied.
"Me too, okay? But that's not the way it needs to be. I love you too, buddy. But I've tried dating before, and I just... maybe one day I'll be the right kind of mare, but - "
Hey, shut it. It's not about being the right kind of person, okay? It's about being comfortable with yourself and eachother. And... the reason I wanted this is because I'm not comfortable with myself. I love you, Dash, okay? And I'm sorry I freaked out, because this is both of us we're talking about here and all I could think about was... was how terrible I am.
"And I'm sorry too, for not trying to talk to you about this earlier. I should've seen how upset you were and realized how badly I'd explained myself. Listen, buddy... I love you no matter what, okay? You're not terrible. You're awesome. Even awesome ponies screw up sometimes, and even awesome ponies need support. We don't need to be dating to love eachother, alright? C'mere."
I... just... thanks, D-Dash. I love you too. Friends?
"Best Friends. Now, how about we head to my house? I've got the new Headless Horse movie~"
Heh. Y-yeah, sure. That sounds great, Dash. Just try not to piss yourself, yeah?
"You know very well that was soda!"
Sure it was, Dash. Sure it was.
Author's Note
Believe it or not, this was originally going to mock the common scenario of a human gaining a "herd" harem.
