We're living in... interesting times? Yeah let's go with that. As I'm writing this with a quill I'm sitting in my room at an orphanage as a 15 year old unicorn-biped.
...don't worry, I'll give you a little context.
It was a normal Tuesday on earth, people were relaxing on their sofas watching TV after a hard,or boring, day of work when something not so normal happened. A weird being appeared on the TV, he looked like a snake but with legs, arms and horns... OK it's Discord, you all know what discord looks like and if you don't google it. Where was I? Oh yes, Discord appeared on the TV and told everyone that he was a god and that he decided to give each human one wish and then poof he was gone. Shocked? Were you expecting something more? We did as well, most people continued to watch for at least an hour,waiting for the return of Discord. He didn't return.
At first, no one thought it was real. Most thought that it was a clever joke played by a brony with too much time on their hands, I mean, really? Discord's not real and even if he was, why would he give a wish to everyone? But then people started testing it, and to everyone's surprise...it worked. By midnight, at least half of the population had lost their wish on stupid things like a beer or a puppy just to see if it worked. Seriously just how stupid are they? All you had to do was watch someone else do it and you get the same results but you get to keep your wish, that's what I did.
Two days later, I now understood why Discord gave each human a wish. Earth was now the definition of Chaos : weird cars in the streets, weird animals in the parks, creepy looking dudes hanging out with stunningly beautiful ladies (and vice-versa), a quarter of the population were now billionaires (how they intend to spend that money when the economy crumbled I don't know), apparently one guy asked for lesser gravity because people were jumping twice as high as normal and because of that the moon had gone to the other side of the solar system (not like we needed it to stay alive or anything...idiot), governments are trying to keep people from wishing things by putting them to sleep and are offering large sums of money if you give them your wish (again, don't see how they'll spend the money), and I think some of them are starting to mess with time. It's at this moment that I knew what I had to do.
"Fuck this shit. I'm out" and I wished to go to Equestria.
To whoever is reading this, it may seem to you that I made a hasty choice under pressure, It's not the case. During the two days after Discord's appearance and while the world was descending into madness, I was thinking, thinking really hard. My thought process went like this : I could wish to undo all of other people's wishes but, first, I don't know if it'll work because it would go against Discord's plan, and second, some idiot could undo my wish...
Ok, so earth is doomed, that leaves me to decide where will I go? From what I gathered the wish can't be too precise so I can't just leave earth and create the world I want. If I wish to leave earth and go to a perfect world it'll be fun for, what, 2 years? No I want something challenging but not TOO challenging...I got it, Discord messed with my world, I'll just mess with his. Obviously not the same way he did but...yes, it's decided I'll go to Equestria.
I'll warn you right now, you who is reading this, I have some strong opinions about Equestria and it's inhabitants. Don't get me wrong, Equestria is a paradise and all, but it has problems. The biggest problem with Equestria is that it's peaceful...far too peaceful. I believe there is a balance in the world between Chaos and Order.Too much Chaos and you can't create a society with bases strong enough too bloom, too much order and you stop evolving because you don't need to. Equestria is of the latter category, I mean, they even imprisoned the god of Chaos for fuck's sake! Everypony is so happy in their little lives that even in the rare events where something happens, they go back to how things where before when it's been dealt with. For example, the Everfree forest, a number of bad things have come from this forest, you'd think that they would do something about it like building a wall that would trump anything you can throw at it, but no, the day after the attack they're having tea next to edge of it. The balance must be rectified and that's what I'm gonna do, not like Discord mind you because what he did fell too much in the total Chaos category. No, I'll do it the best way, I'll do it my way.
I was prepared for a lot of things ranging from the rainbow colored vortex, the blue colored vortex, the red col...all kinds of vortexes, a bright flash, a dark void, in short anything ... except absolutely nothing. Not a sound, not a movement, one second I was in the middle of my bedroom at night and the next I was in a park in the middle of the day. Funnily enough, that disoriented me more than any vortex could ever have and I fell on my ass. After regaining my bearings, I looked around at the park I was in. It was a nice little park with the greenest grass I'd ever seen and a plethora of flowers that littered the ground. Having seen enough to confirm that I was not in the Everfree and therefor not in immediate danger, I took a deep breath and started inspecting myself.
I think Discord made sure that your wish as the most surprising outcome possible because while I expected to stay human or turn into a pony I sure didn't expect to be an anthro... and a teenager? I look like a hairy human with a horn and flat teeth... When I say hairy I'm talking about fur. I have a grey coat, medium length black mane and tail, still has my hands and feet and judging from my reflection in the fountain at the middle of the park, my eyes are dark purple (Byzantium) and fortunately I'm still male. But all that is secondary to the relief I felt when I realized...
"Thanks god I'm wearing cloths" I said with a relieved sigh but then I paused "I just hope other ponies do as well...."
Author's Note
Thanks for reading.
Don't hesitate to leave a comment, positive or not.
Don't expect me to update regularly, I'm just writing this as training for my English class (I'm french).
"Thanks god I'm wearing cloths" I said with a relieved sigh but then I paused "I just hope other ponies do as well...."
After a quick prayer to the god of cloths, I decided that it was time to be a little more concerned about what I'm going to do now that I'm lost in the middle of an unknown city, without money, somewhere in Equestria. Well, the money problem is not something that I can resolve at the moment unless I can make gold appear by snaping my fingers.
.
.
.
Wait, don't tell me... I close my eyes, take a deep breath, concentrate aaaaaand... *snap*... absolutly nothing happens.
"it was worth a shot" I sighed.
So, no magic gold, but at least identifying the city that I'm in should be easy, even if I don't recognize it I can just ask someo...pony? Do they call themselves ponies? Well, it's not something I can find out on my own so I better get going, I have a lot of things to do and not a lot of times before nightfall... I think?
*sigh*
Ok, I have to stop asking questions and start collecting informations to answer them. I looked up and saw that the sun was at it's zenith, so yeah, not a lot of time left. Just has I was leaving the park I felt something at the back of my mind, it didn't speak but somehow I knew what it meant : "look behind you". Now, I played my fair share of horror games and I know that when you here these words, you do NOT want to turn around, but this 'presence' wasn't menacing, it felt more... frustrated.
Not wanting to annoy something that can invade my mind, I turned around. At first I didn't see what 'it' wanted me to find but after a few seconds I noticed a brown leather notebook on the grass right next to where I *cough, cough*'made my appearance'. While walking up to it, I felt the thing in my head turn from frustrated to relieved and then completely disappear from my mind. I wondered why the presence was so happy that I noticed the book but quickly turned my attention back to the book, if it's all it took for 'it' to go away I wasn't about to complain. The book had a blank front, looked new and had an A6 format. As I picked it up I was slightly surprise that it felt like real leather around the book and not some pony-friendly leather imitation since I would assume that it wouldn't go well with them to use the skin of an animal to enfold their books. Intrigued, I opened the notebook to the first page :
"guide #645 : How To Mess With Celly McSunbutt And Get Away With It."
I...I have so many questions.
Fortunately, before I reached the point of no return and delve in the maze of questions that my mind became, I noticed a hastily written note at the bottom of the page that said :
"explanations are on the next page ->"
Well, that's convenient. Before turning the page I threw a look around and went to sit at a curiously placed bench that was away from the main path of the park and mostly hidden by trees and bushes. It was perfect for me since I figured that I didn't want anypony to see me reading a book that talked about messing with, who I would assume is supposed to be Celestia.
After a successful retreat to the Bench of Secrets (TM), I turned the page and began reading :
Dear confused human turned unicorn,
Wait, I'm a unicorn? I lifted my hand to my head and sure enough I felt a horn sitting there. Did I have a horn before?I can't seem to remember...Well, doesn't really matter as long as I don't become an alicorn.
I must begin by congratulating you since from all the wishes your comrades did, yours is the second best. Don't be disappointed about not being first, you just CAN'T beat chocolate candy cloud, it's just not humoristicly possible, the only th...wait, is humoristicly even a word? Well if it isn't, it should be. You know what I think? I think we should not be afraid of saying things even if they make no sense. there was that one time where............
What follows appeared to be a rent about semantics and it's place in society followed by many other subjects written in a barely legible handwriting that continues on three pages. Finally, on the forth page, the handwriting improves to it's original level :
...not unlike the red shark. Anyway that's how I lost my medical licence. What were we talking about again? Ah yes, I really liked your wish and the thoughts that you put into it. I, myself, think that Equestria could use a little Chaos, and since in this dimension I'm still stoned for a little while, I figured that helping you a bit wouldn't hurt. That's why I included in this notebook almost all of the theory on dark magic that I could find. AND, before you scream "SOMBRA!" at my face, none of the dark magic found in this book will consume you or your mind. I wouldn't want my new partner in Chaos to lose his mind, now would I?... Would I? maybe I would actually... I have to think about it, I'll get back to you on that. Anyway, I guess that's it, don't forget to have fun!
PS : there is a spell to duplicate bits if you're interested.
love, DISCORD.
Well that's...
that's...
that's fucking awesome! I mean, I'm sponsored by the god of Chaos himself!
Amidst all my excitement, I felt a little confusion to the fact that this notebook is supposed to contain ALL the theory of dark magic while being so little, but after flipping through the notebook I discovered that it contained a lot more pages than what's visible at first glance. When I first looked at it I thought it had, I don't know, 200 pages...300 tops, but it had at least a thousand pages! First I'll need to separate the useful from the useless, and then prioritize spells by difficulty and importance, all of this while learning light magic, geography, history, politics, laws and pretty much anything about this society... Wow, I'm gonna have a few busy years before I can do anything of importance in this world.
This realization was reinforced by the fact that I was still in the very place that I arrived at. Recognizing the idiocy of sitting there when I didn't even have a shelter for the night yet, I put the notebook on dark magic (that I now refer to as the 'Guide' in honor of Discord's joke) inside the black hoodie that the wish generously gave me on arrival, I stood up and finally left this park.
Author's Note
"use the skin of an animal to enfold their books."
Does 'enfold' works in this situation? I honestly have no idea.
Tell me what you think in the comments 
