Where Parallel Lines Converge

by FanOfMostEverything

Rating: teen
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Magic: The Gathering, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 6199

Ditzy Planeswalker has perhaps the worst experience in the history of tourism.

Ditzy Doo has gone through a lot over the years. She's been a planeswalker, a wife, a mother, a savior of worlds, a postal worker, and more besides. But a routine delivery route is about to lead to a very novel experience for her.

Not enjoyable, no, but definitely novel.

This story is in the same continuity as Elementals of Harmony, but reading that isn't necessary to understand this.

Written for Estee's Swift Selections contest. Graciously edited by themaskedferret. Rated Teen for unpleasant things happening to minds, bodies, and souls.

Image credits: Ditzy's mark | Equal Four marks | Starlight's mark | Colorless mana symbol

Published 2016-06-21 18:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-21 18:30:01 UTC

The Doom that Came to Our Town

Ditzy Doo wasn't like most pegasi.

Aside from the obvious, she also lacked the internal compass that allowed most of her ilk to navigate even when there were no landmarks but the horizon. She could manage well enough in two dimensions, but adding a third meant all bets were off, as she knew all too well from past Winter Wrap-Ups. Unfortunately, until Special Delivery got his act together, she was the only member of the Ponyville post office who was cleared for the cross-country deliveries that were too big or too unstable for Address Unknown to teleport.

Fortunately, Ditzy Doo wasn't like most pegasi. She might not be able to tell north from south, but her eyes were good for more than just starting awkward conversations. She could see magic itself, and could navigate by the glow of Equestria's urban centers. Memorizing the national map meant that she knew their positions, letting her use cities like they were ground-level stars. She might not know in what direction she was headed, but she knew what lay ahead.

At least, so went the theory. As Ditzy flew her way back from a Manehattan delivery, she hit a chance bit of turbulence. It would have been an easy correction if she weren't pulling a big, awkward trailer behind her. Instead, the extra momentum sent the cargo trailer spinning, dragging Ditzy along with it. Every conventional attempt to correct the situation wasn't working. Pegasus magic could make the trailer lighter, but not less massive, and momentum was the issue at hoof. That and the approaching mountains.

However, Ditzy Doo wasn't like most pegasi. She was a planeswalker, able to travel to other worlds, and capable of much more active magic than the rest of her tribe. She pulled magic from alien skies, from seas beyond her home universe, and her eyes glowed blue as she shaped that mana into a spell. A similar aura enveloped her and the trailer. They slowed and halted, hanging in the air. Once Ditzy collected herself, she started hovering and released the antigravity effect. Then she groaned.

Ditzy looked one way, then the other. Lights shone all along the horizon, but the spinout had completely disoriented her, and the lights all looked the same. If she were closer to somewhere, she'd be able to pick out individual mana signatures: the red-white approximate lawfulness of Mild West towns; the stark black-and-white aura of dog-eat-dog Manehattan; the... eclectic blend of blue, red, and green of Ponyville. But out here in the middle of nowhere, she couldn't tell Canterlot from the Crystal Empire.

She looked up at her plan B. The sun sat smack in the middle of the sky, as unhelpfully as possible.

Ditzy sighed. "I really need to start carrying a compass." She checked the ground for a decent landing spot. Her eyes widened. "Whoa."

It wasn't much of a town. With just a dozen buildings facing one another, capped by a thirteenth on one end, it barely qualified as a street, so small a community that it only put out a wan, colorless magic aura. But it was still a lot more than Ditzy had expected to find in the middle of a mountain range. She glided down to the open mouth of the settlement.

Another pegasus met her on the approach, a dark blue mare with a nearly white mane. "Welcome," she said with a wide smile.

After an uncomfortably long time with the other mare's teeth filling one eye's field of vision, Ditzy said, "Uh, hi. Hang on." She focused on the landing, being careful with the trailer's wheels. The last thing she needed was to break the wheels in a place where ponies could see her magically repair them. Once she came to a stop, she looked back up at the other pegasus. "Okay, so—"

"Welcome."

"Welcome."

Two stallions had appeared below the other mare, smiling just as wide, a blue-on-blue unicorn and a white-on-white earth pony.

After another few seconds of amateur dental exams, Ditzy said, "Not to be rude, but could one of you unholster me? This is one of those obnoxious setups where it's hard to do on your own."

"Allow me," said the unicorn.

"Thanks. So, I'm Ditzy Doo. And you are?"

"My name is Double Diamond," the earth stallion said in a dazed tone, "and these are Party Favor and Night Glider. What brings you to our little village?"

"Well, I hit a little turbulence, almost spun out, and..." Ditzy gave a nervous laugh. "I don't exactly have the best sense of direction."

"Well, you found us well enough."

Ditzy's eyebrows rose as she walked out of the harness. That was a lot more polite than she'd expected. "I suppose I did. I was going to have to wait a few hours anyway. I don't suppose anypony might have a compass I could borrow for a few seconds?"

After a moment, Double Diamond shook his head. "I don't think anypony here would have one, other than Starlight Glimmer. Why don't we take you to her?"

"Thanks. That's quite nice of you."

Double Diamond's smile somehow grew. Ditzy had never seen facial muscles strain quite like that before. "Always happy to help a new friend."

"Uh... huh." Ditzy followed, glancing at Party Favor and Night Glider, each next to her and smiling as wide as Pinkie Pie when the Cakes got a new kind of fruit to bake with.

"Welcome," said another pony as she walked by.

"Welcome."

"Welcome."

Ditzy's eye twitched. "Is that really necessary?"

Party Favor turned to her. "We just want to make you feel—"

"Welcome, yes, I got that. The first few times were nice. Now it's coming off as creepy. Especially when those foals all did it in sync." The foals who, like everypony else in the village, had an equals sign for a cutie mark. Ditzy figured it was best not to point that out at the moment. The whole place was coming across like that one goblin tribe on volcanic, dragon-dominated Jund for whom "god" and "delicacy" were synonyms. The bared teeth everywhere weren't helping. The last thing she wanted to do was push them to the point where they broke out the ceremonial marinades.

"We're just excited to meet new ponies," said Night Glider. "We don't get many visitors."

"You are rather out of the way. I don't suppose there's any outgoing mail I could take with me?"

"I don't think that will be a problem." Ditzy filed that away as Double Diamond went on to say, "We're here." "Here" meant the thirteenth house, the one that defined one end of the town's one street. Double Diamond and Ditzy walked into a starkly decorated room, the others waving goodbye as they left by some unspoken understanding.

"Starlight?" said Double Diamond. "We have a visitor."

A unicorn mare opened the rear door, smiling more naturally than anypony Ditzy had seen thus far. "Welcome!"

Ditzy smirked. "Believe me, I have been thoroughly welcomed."

"We like to think of ourselves as being the friendliest little town in Equestria, Miss..."

"This is Ditzy Doo," said Double Diamond.

Ditzy nodded. "Nice to meet you." Starlight and she bumped hooves. "What's the name of this place, anyway?"

"We just call it Our Town." Starlight's smile got a bit more manic. "We even have a town anthem."

"That sounds... lovely, but I'm not planning on staying long. I just got a little discombobulated on my way home."

Starlight nodded. "I see. But did you ever consider that you may already be home?"

Ditzy tilted her head. "Excuse me?"

"We accept everypony as equal here. We don't judge, or demean, or flaunt any unfair advantages." Starlight shifted a bit to the side, the better to display her equal mark.

"You..." Ditzy's mouth worked silently for a few seconds. "Wow."

"I know. Our little paradise is hard to believe at first, but it's as good as it sounds."

Ditzy shook her head. "No, I didn't mean 'Wow, that sounds great." I meant 'Wow, you're a condescending jerk.'"

Starlight took a step back, eyes wide. "What!? I... Did I offend you somehow?"

"Let me guess. You took one look at my eyes, heard a pegasus admit she got lost, and you just assumed the rest."

Starlight managed to get a smile back on her face, albeit a nervous one. "W-well, I was just offering a welcoming hoof." She cleared her throat. "Still, I'm sorry if I provoked your insecurities about any qualities you may have that society views as inferior."

Ditzy gave her a half-lidded look. "I'm sure. For the record, I have a loving husband and daughter, a job I love, and friends who I respect and who respect me in turn." She leaned in until she was a few inches from Starlight's muzzle. "In other words, I would be missed."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're implying," said Starlight, her face a neutral mask.

Ditzy matched the expression. "I never said I was implying anything."

"Well. I hope you enjoy your stay in our little village, brief though it may be."

"Thank you." Ditzy looked around the room. "Where'd Double Diamond go?"

Starlight barely spared a glance away from Ditzy. "He probably left at the beginning of our little... misunderstanding. We have so few conflicts in Our Town, most ponies aren't comfortable around them."

"I see." The two settled into an uneasy silence until Ditzy's stomach chimed in. "I don't suppose there's a restaurant of some kind here?"

"That would be Sugar Belle's contribution to our community. Third house from the left as you leave my house."

"I see." Ditzy gave a shallow nod. "Thank you."

Starlight returned it motion for motion. "You are, of course, welcome."

Ditzy began backing out of the door, her eyes locked on Starlight's. "Have a nice day."

"You too."

Ditzy did not slam the door. She did linger for a few moments, but no villainous monologue seemed forthcoming. She shrugged her wings and backed away, keeping the door in her sights until a "Pardon me" got her to face forward again.

Sugar Belle's establishment would've been easy to find even without the directions and so few possible wrong choices, being the only building with a table in front of it. Sugar Belle herself, a unicorn mare, was happy to seat and serve Ditzy.

"What can I get you today?" she asked, pencil and notepad in her magic. "We have muffins..."

Ditzy waited through the least uncomfortable pause she'd sat through since landing here before smiling and saying, "Sugar Belle, you are easily the best part of this stopover thus far."

Sugar Belle waved a hoof. "Oh, stop." Her eyes bugged out as she leaned closer and hissed, "Really. Stop." Her eyes flicked towards the other side of the street.

Ditzy followed and saw Double Diamond, who waved. "Ah. In any case, I'll have two muffins."

"Right away."

Sugar Belle didn't take long, returning with a tray—well, a plank of wood—in magical tow. She set it down, letting Ditzy get a good look at the... things. They weren't muffins. They couldn't be muffins. To call them such would be an affront to baking. They were grey, fluffy as cement, and totally odorless even as steam wafted off of them.

Ditzy leaned forward and nibbled a bit off of one. She chewed the gravelly morsel. She shut her eyes as the total absence of flavor settled on her tongue.

A bolt of lightning stabbed out of the clear afternoon sky and reduced the pastries to cinders, slightly improving their flavor in the process.

Ditzy waited a moment for the red glow in her eyes to fade, then opened them and gasped. "Oh no!" she cried with passable sincerity. She looked to Sugar Belle and offered an apologetic grin. "That happens to me more often than I'd like to admit."

Sugar Belle looked back and forth between the sky and the table. "It does?"

"It's a pegasus thing. Very rare, kind of embarrassing." Ditzy hummed. "You know, I'm something of a muffin maker myself."

"You are?"

Ditzy nodded. "If you'd like, we could go inside, compare recipes."

Sugar Belle glanced at Double Diamond, who was enduring one of her creations with every sign of enjoyment. "I... I'd like that."

Ditzy beamed. "Great!"

The inside of what, for lack of a worse word, could be called a bakery was... stark. Not quite barren, but even more Pegasopolitan than Starlight's house, stripped of all but the barest necessities. Ditzy's gaze lingered on the surprisingly modern oven until she realized it was designed to run off of unicorn magic. The area bordered on wasteland. There probably weren't any other viable fuel sources nearby. Actually...

"Where do you get your ingredients?"

Sugar Belle looked at her like she was crazy. "You... You didn't actually come in here just to discuss muffin recipes, are you?"

"No, just curious. But you're right, we have more pressing matters. Like how you managed to make muffins quite so... that."

Sugar Belle looked away. "Well, they're no better than anypony else can make them. Not anymore."

"So you're fully cognizant of just how bad they are and you still have to make them? That's downright cruel." Ditzy winced. "And I'm probably rubbing salt in the wound. Sorry."

"It's okay." The moisture in Sugar Belle's eyes said how not okay it was.

"What did this to you?"

"Well..." Sugar Belle bit her lip, then brushed aside a drab rug and pulled open the cellar door underneath. "Follow me."

"Following a stranger into her basement in the middle of the creepiest town in Equestria," Ditzy muttered. "Surely no harm could ever come of this." She sighed and descended, saying more loudly, "I should warn you, I'm not as harmless as I look."

"We don't mean any harm!" said a male voice.

Ditzy blinked. "Party Favor?"

"We just want to look at your cutie mark a little more," added another mare.

"And Night Glider. Well, you guys were looking for outsiders. I guess this makes sense." Ditzy shrugged her wings, then spread them. "Feast your eyes, I guess?"

The three did so, the only sounds coming out of them for a few seconds longing sighs. "Wow," Sugar Belle finally said. "Your cutie mark really is amazing."

"I know!" said Night Glider. She moved closer to Ditzy's face. "It was so exciting to see you come in for a landing. Those bubbles are just, just wow."

"Uh, thanks. Yours are all..." Ditzy bit her lip as she moved out from between them. "Consistent?"

"Oh, these aren't our cutie marks," said Night Glider. "Starlight put these in their place after she removed them, to show that we rejected the false promise of special talents."

Ditzy blinked. "Okay, no offense meant, but speaking as someone from out of town, everything you just said sounded horrifying and insane."

"No, no!" said Party Favor. He gave a smile just as genuine as the one he wore while admiring Ditzy's mark. "The Cutie Unmarking is a beautiful process. Starlight uses the Staff of Sameness to remove our marks and all of the burdens that come with them."

"Uh... huh. Could I take a closer look at one of your, er, non-cutie marks?"

The three traded looks for a bit. Sugar Belle stepped forward. "I suppose."

"Sorry in advance for any awkwardness." Ditzy leaned close, squinting at the symbol. Once she was just a few inches from Sugar Belle's hips, she could see a faint, light blue outline along each blocky rectangle. "White and blue," she mumbled. "Control and suppress. Not surprising." Then a voice started trickling directly into her mind, bypassing her ears.

Conform.

Submit.

You are chattel.

You are fungible.

You are nothing.

Ditzy flinched back, eyes wide and wings spread. In all her years, she'd never heard magic before. "Okay! Well! That told me all I ever wanted to know." She cleared her throat as she gathered herself. "So, what does Starlight do with the marks after she removes them?"

"She puts them in the vault," Sugar Belle said, "where we can see them wherever we want."

"How thoughtful. Where did you say this vault was?"

Double Diamond shadowed Ditzy when she left the "bakery." He wasn't even subtle about it, though it was hard to be subtle at anything with that kind of grin.

She returned to the trailer and glanced up at the sky. The sun was a bit off-center now, but not enough that she felt confident about leaving. She turned to Double Diamond. "I'm just going to rest my eyes for a bit."

"Sleep well."

"You're going to be watching me the whole time, aren't you?"

Double Diamond just grinned.

Ditzy sighed and curled in on herself, getting as comfortable as she could on the ground. Her breathing soon became slow and regular. Double Diamond did indeed keep watching her.

The real Ditzy, invisible, watched him in turn, taking a moment to make sure the illusion held. Creep, she thought to herself before walking away as carefully as she could. She took off once she was far enough that he wouldn't notice the air currents, then followed the hoofbeaten path leading out of the village and towards a nearby mountain.

The path lead to a cavern within the peak. It went on for a few twists and turns until—

"AH!" Ditzy shut her eyes and turned away. Whatever lay at the end of the cavern was so bright, she was still seeing spots even after glancing at it for less than a second. She looked down. There was a shadow in front of her, but a wan thing compared to the sheer luminance she'd seen. What her eyes were seeing as blinding light was really high-density magic.

"Okay," she said. "This is probably the cutie mark vault. Now all I have to do is break it without looking at it. That's... actually pretty simple." She started walking backwards. Eventually, she'd hit the vault rump first. If that didn't sunder it, a solid buck infused with the mountain's own destructive red mana would.

Ditzy was about halfway there when she noticed the blue glimmers around the mouth of the chamber. Glimmers that almost looked like...

"I knew I felt the security wards go off." Starlight Glimmer rounded the bend, a scowl on her face. "What do you think you're doing, interloper?"

Ditzy wingshrugged. "Oh, you know. Seeing everything your little village has to offer. Getting the full Our Town experience."

"Destroying the utopia I've worked so hard to build?"

"I never said that."

"Let's say you were implying it." Starlight lit her horn. A two-pronged length of wood floated over Ditzy's head and to Starlight's side.

Ditzy crouched, wings spread, mana streaming into her. It wouldn't make her eyes glow until she cast something, though she already knew what. Starlight was almost as bright as the vault behind them, as powerful a unicorn as Twilight Sparkle at minimum. Unprepared as Ditzy was, her best option was clear.

"You'll thank me for this." Magic poured out of Starlight, through the staff, and towards Ditzy.

The pegasus's body flared blue as she committed to her plan: tactical retreat. Space warped as Ditzy planeswalked, prepared to return in Ponyville.

Then the spell hit struck her, locking her in place halfway out of the universe, her magic blending with the green light of the spell, making the whole cavern look like it was underwater.

Starlight smirked. "Not sure what you were trying, but once this spell has you, there's no getting away."

Ditzy's only reply was a pained gasp. Her hips burned, but that was a mild accent on the agony that wracked her every inch, the bite of the space between spaces blending with the blunt axe Starlight was taking to her soul.

Starlight snorted. "What, no snappy comeback? No bubbly repartee? I look forward to hearing you trip over your own tongue."

The pain redoubled. It felt like nails were trying to poke through Ditzy's skin. "Stop..." she croaked.

"It's for your own good." Starlight glared. "Now stop resisting!"

"Wh-what?" Ditzy could barely speak, much less resist the spell. She had no idea what Starlight was talking about. Then motion in her peripheral vision managed to drag her attention away from the pain. Off to her side, connected by a tendril of sea-green magic, were seven very familiar bubbles. The matching set floated on her opposite side as well. The magic surged, the knives under Ditzy's skin became swords, but she kept focusing on her left cutie mark. It pulled further away, but the length of magic barely stretched at all before thickening.

"No!" Ditzy's eyes aligned in her shock. She looked back to a snarling Starlight, the staff shaking and smouldering in her magical grip. "Starlight! Stop!"

"Not until I save you, you ungrateful foal!"

Ditzy heard something inside of her creak. Then she heard it crack.

Starlight gritted her teeth and poured even more magic into the unmarking spell. She'd never seen somepony so reluctant to part with the literal symbols of her misery before. It wasn't that Ditzy Doo was unwilling; Starlight had had to forcibly enlighten ponies more than a few times in the past, and their marks had come off as easily as anypony's. But this infuriating mare insisted on making the process far more difficult than necessary with her ludicrously elastic ties to her marks.

"You're sick, Ditzy! Let me cure you! Let me show you a better way!" Starlight's forehead burned with the force of her channeling, her eyes squinting shut with her efforts. "Be happy, you ungrateful feather duster!"

Finally, Starlight heard something snap. She forced her eyes open. Ditzy's cutie marks were almost brushing the sides of the cavern, and were still connected. "Then what—" Starlight's jaw dropped when she looked at the mare herself.

Cracks spider-webbed across Ditzy Doo's body in far too neat a display. A look of shock was frozen on her fragmented face. Even as Starlight watched, Ditzy's pieces slowly began drifting apart, revealing a single line of magic spanning from one cutie mark to the other.

Then that line started to expand like an opening eye, wind howling as it sucked in air.

Starlight backed away, eyes wide. "What's going on? What did you do!?"

Ditzy's shards fell into the widening gap. Once the last went through, her cutie marks snapped into one another and the entire rift collapsed into a fading mote of magic, taking mare and marks with it.

Starlight fell to her knees, the desert twig falling at her side. "No. No, this wasn't supposed to happen." She knelt there, staring at nothing.

"Starlight?"

She blinked and looked up at a pale blur through tear-blurred eyes. "Is everything alright?" the blur asked in Double Diamond's voice.

More voices rang out around her.

"It must have been half an hour since you went in here."

"What was she trying to do to the vault?"

"Are you alright?"

"Did you help her see the error of her ways?"

Starlight couldn't distinguish the voices. She supposed she shouldn't try to. She got to her hooves haltingly, brushing off Double Diamond's extended hoof, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I am so sorry, my friends. I had hoped this day wouldn’t come for years yet, but it seems I must erect the village’s first tombstone.” She held up a hoof, cutting off the others’ murmurs. “I was the one who used the Staff of Sameness on her. I was the one who kept using it, even when it became clear that something was wrong. This is my responsibility.”

A scream from outside made everypony turn their heads.

Purpose refilled Starlight. Her ponies were out there. She still bore the burden of her mark on her withers, so it was her responsibility to keep them safe. "Come on, everypony!" She led the charge out of the cave.

Outside, more of the villagers stared up at the sky, mouths agape.

"What is it, everypony? What's wrong?" Starlight followed their gazes and gasped.

To Ditzy's great surprise, she still had the capacity for great surprise. She took stock of her surroundings. All around her was an infinite, chaotic void, energy and matter roiling without form or reason. Bubbles of stability hung here and there throughout the madness, dwarfed by the sheer immensity of their surroundings.

Oh good, thought Ditzy, I'm on familiar ground. She'd been thrown out of the plane and into the Blind Eternities, the space between spaces, in which every plane of the multiverse lay. Ditzy could handle this. Planeswalking was her special talent. Her eyes kept misaligning because they were trying to focus along axes that didn't exist in Equestria. Her sense of direction was designed not for three dimensions but eleven.

However, something was wrong. Even a pony destined to navigate this realm was alien to it. Ditzy's planeswalker spark protected her from getting immediately dissolved by the Eternities, but she still felt a burn as they wore away at her. Now it felt more like a warm bath.

Ditzy tried to take stock of herself, only to find there was nothing to see. As far as she could tell, she was a disembodied awareness.

She turned to the nearest bubble, Ungula, her home plane. There lay the light of a magic born of her own, Dinky, waiting for her in Ponyville. There, hanging like higher-dimensional smoke, was the trail of disturbed æther Ditzy had left as she fell out of the plane, leading back to Our Town. Yet the whole thing seemed smaller than normal. And... tastier.

Jace Beleren, Ditzy's mentor in the ways of planeswalker magic, had told her about beings other than planeswalkers who could travel the Eternities. They were born here, wandering infinity and consuming mana from any planes they encountered. They were more ancient and powerful than mortal minds could conceive, beyond time or space or color or comprehension. Even the mightiest planeswalkers paled in comparison to the creatures Jace called the Eldrazi.

And if you tear out a planeswalker's soul and throw it outside the universe, it becomes one. This would be fascinating if it were happening to someone else. Ditzy thought through the motions of a deep breath. It helped a little. Well, let's see what happens next. The æther trail was fading, but she could still follow it easily enough.

Forcing herself against the skin of the universe felt a lot different than what she was used to. There was much more resistance, bits of her form flaking off like grated cheese, still part of her awareness yet separate from her body. Then, with one last push, she was through.

Starlight had never seen the entity's like before. It was at least as large as a full-grown dragon, but one gone horribly wrong. The head of the creature seemed to be nothing but a tremendous, lidless eyeball with seven different pupils wandering about the sphere at random. Behind it was a stalk-like body, mottled in ash gray, bruise puce, bile yellow, and colors that Starlight perceived yet her mind refused to identify. The enormous form branched into three pairs of wide arrays of tendrils, like the blood vessels of vast, invisible flippers. Their subtle flexing as they impossibly held the creature aloft made it clear that there was no more to them than those undulating, mazelike complexes of flesh. The tail branched into trailing, dangling lengths of living tissue. Some brushed against the peak that housed the Cutie Vault. Where they did, the rock turned iridescent, its edges visibly softening like an ice sculpture in an oven.

Screams tore Starlight's attention away from the monstrosity. Ponies were backing away from her, some galloping in no clear direction other than away. She looked down and added her own screams to the cacophony. Hideous vermin, longer than her horn but thin as string, scuttled about and even over her hooves. They looked like millipedes, each tipped with an unblinking eye, which thankfully had but one pupil apiece.

"I told you not to do it."

Starlight looked back up, shocked by the familiar voice's accusing tone. "Party Favor?" She gasped.

One of the smaller creatures had wrapped around Party Favor's horn, nestled into its grooves. He glared at Starlight despite the vacant look in his eyes. One started drifting out of alignment even as she watched. "I practically begged you not to do it," he said, "but you didn't listen. Now I have to hijack this poor stallion's body just so I can communicate with you without making your brain dribble out through your ears."

Starlight's gaze darted between Party Favor, the thing on his horn, and the monstrosity overhead a few times. Finally, she cried, "Ditzy!?"

"Yeah. Hi."

"What— How— You're not dead?" After a beat, Starlight added, "I'm very happy to see you're not dead, but you kind of imploded."

Party Favor's eyes glared at her. "Yes, because of you."

"What happened to you?"

"Not even going to apologize for imploding me?"

"I swear, that sort of thing has never happened to me before."

Party Favor's body sighed. "The thaumophysics involve concepts that are built on concepts that are built on concepts you've never heard of. Also, I'm not exactly in the mood to discuss them at the moment. Can't imagine why. Suffice to say, there are two kinds of beings that can move between universes, the relatively nice kind and the definitely bad kind. You turned me from the former to the latter."

Starlight's mouth worked silently for a few moments. "What?"

"Not that this isn't riveting, but I need to do something about this before I take your fundamental essence from you, not that you'd know anything about that."

Starlight couldn't help but glance at the mountain. Rivulets of shimmering fluid were flowing down its side like badly mixed industrial rainbow. She moved her gaze up a little to see whatever Ditzy became begin receding somehow. It didn't move, it was just progressively further away.

"Oh," said Party Favor's voice, "and could everypony please direct their attention to Starlight's flanks? Thank you."

As Ditzy vanished, all eyes turned to Starlight. A millipede creature clung to each of her hips. Rainbow-tinged fluid dripped down from beneath them, revealing Starlight's cutie marks.

Starlight looked up to see a sea of angry faces. "Uh..." She flung her head back and put a hoof to her forehead. "Oh no! That cruel monster cursed me with my cutie mark once more!" She cracked an eye open. The expressions hadn't shifted, save for getting angrier. "Ah. Well then."

She teleported home.

"Hey, Twilight."

"Hmm?" Twilight blinked as she suspended her thought experiment and rejoined the rest of her mind in a walk about Ponyville. "Oh, hello Lyyy..." She trailed off, eyes locked on the millipede-like staring at her while wrapped around Lyra's horn. "You, uh..." Twilight swallowed against her rising gorge. "You have a little something on your—" She put a hoof to her mouth as her cheeks bulged.

Lyra's head nodded. "Yeah, I know. This is Ditzy speaking, by the way."

Twilight swallowed. "Ditzy?" Disgust forgotten, she backed away a few steps, eyes still on the apparent parasite. "What's going on?"

"Long story short, a monster's going to appear above the Everfree soon. You and the girls are going to need to harmonize it."

"So you haven't succumbed to the temptation of your power and started mind-controlling ponies as part of a plot built around magic from another universe?"

Lyra's eyes blinked. Her mouth frowned. "When you put it like that, it sounds like you're expecting it to happen."

"Well, yes, but with Pinkie Pie."

"Oh." Lyra's head nodded. "Yeah, I can see the concern there. So, we're good on the rainbow?"

Twilight returned the nod. "I'll get everypony together. Do you have a more specific time of arrival than 'soon'?"

"Will twenty minutes work?"

Twilight gave the other mare an uneasy look. "Yes, but the fact that you can schedule this monster is not filling me with confidence. Still, I'll get the girls." She turned, but then hesitated and looked back. "Uh, is Lyra okay with this?"

The thing around Lyra's horn uncoiled and scuttled down her body, making Twilight shudder. Lyra blinked and staggered, then said, "She called in a favor. I'm fine. You should get going."

Twilight nodded. "Right."

The optic monstrosity manifested above the Everfree almost exactly twenty minutes later. It was easily among the five most grotesque creatures Ponyville had seen that month, its feeding tendrils drooping into the hell-forest and gouging iridescent pits into the self-sustaining topsoil. Most of the town took one look at it and boarded themselves in their homes with speed borne of long practice. The Flower Trio glanced directly into one of the vast, wandering pupils, then started writhing on the ground, foaming at the mouth and reciting area codes.

At the edge of the Everfree, the Bearers of Harmony stood proud, the Elements entrusted to them shining resplendent. "Together!" cried Twilight.

The incredible magic lifted them off their hooves and brought them together in a brilliant sphere of harmonious energy. The rainbow sprang out from them and arced up to the horror overhead, encircling it in a winding vortex of color and virtue. With the Bearers in the half-dreaming state that came with using the Elements and the town on monster alert, few saw the sky twist on itself, light bending around the entrapped entity as a silver radiance leaked out around the edges of the rainbow.

Finally, the Bearers landed once more, dazed but still standing. Ditzy Doo spiraled down to land before them. She smiled and gave them a nod. "Thanks a lot, girls!" She trotted towards town, humming to herself.

They watched her go. After a few seconds, Rainbow Dash said, "I can't believe I'm asking this, but Pinkie? Please explain."

Pinkie hummed for a few moments before nodding. "You want the long version or the short version?"

"Short, please."

"I'd kind of like the long," said Twilight.

"I'll tell you later. Basically, Ditzy got turned inside out somehow, and we just turned her inside in again."

Twilight frowned. "That didn't explain anything!"

Dash wingshrugged. "Good enough for me."

A week later, after conferring with Twilight to find the rough location, Ditzy returned to Our Town. It was a lot easier to find it. The rail line expansion definitely stood out en route, and the town's aura, while still faint, now had all five colors pulsing like an aurora. Plus, Ditzy wasn't alone.

"That the place, boss?" Special Delivery asked, the redheaded stallion hitched to the other side of the two-pony trailer's harness.

A shadow passed over them. As they looked up, a voice spoke from beneath. "Sure is. Follow me." Night Glider brought herself to eye level. After a moment, she gave a cocky grin, winked, and added, "Slowpokes."

Party Favor, Sugar Belle, and even Double Diamond awaited them at the open end of the village's street, their cutie marks restored like the rest of the Ourtowners. After getting unhitched and exchanging greetings and introductions, Ditzy said, "What happened to Starlight?"

"It wasn't easy," said Double Diamond, "but we ran her out of town."

Party Favor nodded. "One unicorn against dozens of ponies doesn't end well for the unicorn."

Sugar Belle cleared her throat. "She, uh, may have said something about swearing eternal vengeance against that which you had become."

"I'll keep that in mind," Ditzy said with a nod.

"Kind of can't help but notice you aren't a giant floating eye anymore." Sugar Belle looked her over, as though expecting to find tentacles somewhere.

"I got better."

Special Delivery looked around. "I'm kind of surprised you all chose to stay—oof!" He rubbed his side as he took in Ditzy's look. "Never mind."

"It may not look like much," said Double Diamond, "but it's our home."

"And we brought something to make it even better," said Ditzy. They all moved to behind the cargo cloud, where Ditzy opened the doors and revealed the contents. "You'll probably need an a earth pony or two to move it, but once it's in, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it." She smiled. "Enjoy your new mailbox."

Author's Note

Since this is part of the Elementals of Harmony continuity, have a Card of the Story:

Ditzy, About to Burst 1UR
Planeswalker — Ditzy
+1: Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
0: Double the number of loyalty counters on Ditzy, About to Burst.
-15: Exile Ditzy, then return her to the battlefield transformed and under her owner's control.
2
Ditzy, the Unheld Center
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Eldrazi
Flying, haste, indestructible
When Ditzy, the Unheld Center enters the battlefield, each player exiles all cards from his or her hand, then draws seven cards.
Whenever Ditzy deals combat damage to a player, you may put a permanent card that player owns from exile onto the battlefield under your control.
A mind as capricious as luck itself.
9/6