Laichonious Raposo and the Quest for Nutella

by Laichonious the Grey

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Random, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1052

Desserts and rhymes, Pinkie Pie and a new pony... something happened.

He was a pony on a mission: Get nutella for EVERYPONY! Who better to help than the logic-defying pastry chef of Sugar Cube Corner.

BEWARE: It's silly, and full of words that sound alike. There are going to be things you don't understand. I hold no responsibility for damage to lungs, desks, computer screens or anything else that might be expensive. I will, however, claim responsibility for crushed dreams and broken psyches, this includes nightmares and happy delusions or hallucinations.

Shameless self-insert is shameless.

Enjoy!

Also, Epic WIN= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGJb2s7fstE&feature=g-user-u

Also, also for the cover, I put it together but Waichy Wubs Wu provided by ThatFatBrony.

Published 2012-06-20 16:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-20 16:34:02 UTC

A Hop, Skip and a Jump, Right Over the Edge

Laichonious trotted down the lanes of Ponyville’s fair views

A particular pink pony, he was out to pursue

His thoughts seemed to rhyme, as it were

This not in the least a non-sequitur

The ponies, they pranced and danced with glee

But they were all missing out, you see

For he knew of a treat

So delicious and sweet

That the thought of them not in the know,

Brought his spirits down low

But if any hope in Equestria were to be had

He hadn’t the time to be sad

Alone, he knew that he would never succeed

Unless he had with him, a pony of a special breed

And so with haste, he made his way

Through the bustle of that important day

A saddle bag slung on his back

A precious cargo rested in that sack

It was his only means to impress the pony of pink

So that she might help him with nary a blink

There it was, the famed portal of wonder

Simply known as Sugar Cube Corner

Through the door he pushed, taking in the sweet scent

Of bread and pastries, ginger and peppermint

Behind the counter, a nice mare greeted him

Nopony would think of her thin

“Where is Pinkie Pie?” he inquired

“In the kitchen, dear. Perhaps in dough her hooves are mired.”

The perplexed expression of Mrs. Cake that caused her to spill some glaze

Was no doubt in relation to the strange turn of phrase

With the tip of an imaginary hat

Laichonious entered the kitchen to find her doing just that

“Pinkie! Just the pony I needed to see!”

“Huh? You mean me?”

With a flourish and a bow, he laid down his pack

For now was to begin the important act

At the rhyming, she didn’t blink

This sort of thing happens more often than you would think

How great it was to live in the land of ponies

Where one could sing to the music of phantom symphonies

Now, Pinkie, my dear, I cannot express my delight

That you are the one

Who understands fun

And brings such great pastries to light

Well, I think it is nice that you enjoy my cake, but first let me get some things straight

It's of utmost importance

The song that we sing

Is something that's funny and great!

Funny, great, you bet!

I have something so wondrous and tasty that you won’t belive

Well try me my friend, you may be surprised, after all, I’m me

Good! I hope you’re ready

Something tasty, greatsy and sweet as could be

Tasty, greatsy? I’m not sure what you mean

Pinkie, have faith

You see, I will bet you

That what I have here is sure to impress you

Really, this might just blow your shoes off.

Hehe! Why not my socks?

Pinkie, you so random.

Chondrichthyes!

You have so many wonderful breads, I just can’t decide

Do you prefer wheat or rye?

That’s what caught my eye

Does it matter? I just want to try!

Maybe not, but I don’t have a lot of this stuff so we kind of have to make it count.

Just gimme!

Wait! There is some bread here

That’s nice and warm and thick

How ‘bout I spread some on here and make it quick?

Oh wow!

Told ya.

Now can’t you just see, the smiles it’ll bring?

If we could share with everypony?

Mmmm is there more I can have?

That’s what I’m here to do, Pinkie

OoooOOOooh!

Laichy, pal, I understand now

I need to learn how to make this stuff

It’s delicious and so creamy

With a taste that defies gravity

Isn’t it great?

And how!

There are several things that I hope won’t be too hard to find

Like some big hazelnuts and cocoa beans that we can grind

Uh-huh, I’m with ya.

Let me see, we’ll need lots of milk and something to blend

We might even need a big copper or a brass vat

Expert timing and great skill

We can not a drop spill

And perhaps even a few more hooves could help us out with that

I can’t wait to get started! But that is a lot of stuff to get.

So much to do, but it will all be worth it

I knew you would see it like that.

The vat will be tricky, but Bon-bon will know what to do

Zecora knows about the exotic plants

Yeah, we might need more than a few

Oooh I’m so excited, what about you?

A party! That’s it! That’s always the way

To get help with a big quest

Have our friends get ready to have their heads explode

To make this spread the very best

Don’t forget volume, that should be considered

Yeah, we’ll need sugar not to make it bitter

This will be the best thing ever

I think so too

This will be the best, let’s find the rest

So a fun quest we will see

And you can be sure this isn’t a jest

How fun it will be

Let the Quest begin

And then we’ll all dig in!

And so with grins that could split a face

The fast friends trotted from the sweet-smelling place

With gusto and much zeal

They ran about the town with their appeal

In no time at all, they had a sizable force

Who were eager to taste the wonder of course

The day dragged on but their efforts would soon yeild

The creamy concoction sure to make them squeal

By the magic of stories, long to short

Twilight Sparkle included this in her report

“Dear Princess of the sun,

Today I had delightful fun

Pinkie and her new friend made today a treat

But they seem to have achieved a mighty feat

For all throughout town, not a soul can be heard

Without somehow rhyming every word

It’s silly, let me tell ya

But you really need to try this ‘Nutella’”

And so, my friends

My little story ends

Do not be alarmed for my sanity

It is only as lost as my vanity

So make of this what you will

Laugh until you have your fill

Or rage if you like

But I have another story to write