Insert Title here.

by Duklin5

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Drama, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Romance, Random
Length: 1795

Seriously I can't think of a good title.

Extremely Random and completely unpredictable adventures of the Duklin Squack and her friends.

Marked Mature for [spoiler]Extreme gore, nightmare fuel, Semi-clop, swearing[/spoiler]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-17 00:57:19 UTC

Chapter I Part I - Only a dream...

I wake up in a cave.

"Hello?" I call, but no one answers. I repeat my words over, and over, and over, but to no avail.

Suddenly, lights flash on all around me. There are four sketchy looking... Weird... Doors, kinda? Well, not really doors, more like pathways, ya know? Like when your in a cave and there are two or more splitting paths you could go through, making it like a maze. 'I can't just stay here...', I think to myself, 'Which one to go through...? Which one to go through...?'

The cave directly ahead of me... There's blood leaking out of the cave (Either that or someone spilled there giant extra-tomato-ketchup bottle while making Hayburgers or something), soooooooooo... "Hell buckin' no." I whisper to myself.

The cave to the left of me... Is blocked off with, uh, a cage door...? 'Wonder who's in there..?' I think, then whisper to myself again,  "No possible way I could get in there."

The cave to the right of me... A lot of extremely sharp stalagmites. "Err... nope." I whisper slightly louder, then think, 'Really think I wanna be impaled by rocks today?'

And the cave behind me... All clear!

"Guess I'm goin' in there." Another whisper from my self-talkin' plot. Honestly, I don't know why I talk to myself when I'm alone. Maybe because I'm alone? I am kinda strange with my personality. I think I have infinite mood swings or something.

I slowly trot towards the cave pathway entrance. Still looks kinda sketchy, weird, and creepy. 'Wish I was a unicorn, then I could make my own light.' I think again, 'Or just have a light.'

And suddenly, a random lantern falls from the tall, tall cave ceiling, and somehow lands perfectly without bouncing, falling over, or even breaking. 'How convenient.'

"A little cliched much?" I shout at the ceiling, "Seriously, who did that? What's going on? This is really rude you kno-"

I gasp. "Shit..." A creepy SCP Face lookin thing opens it's eyes and shows it's evil demonic grin... With absolutely horrible oral hygiene.

(Happy Nightmares! :D)

"SHIT.... SHIT! SHIIIT!" Screaming at the top of my lungs with a lantern in my mouth, I run away from the Shit-Eating grin creature, and find myself in the middle of the large room again.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit..." I turn around to find the whole hairy... ugly... Smiley creature standing above me, drooling blood on me.

I scream and run towards the bloody pathway, and it seals with another cage door like the other one. "WHAT THE BUCK?!"

I keep screaming in a loud high-pitched tone while running to the spiked path, and whaddaya know? It closes too! "NOOOOOO!!!"

And I just look at the cave the monster came in through, boom. Sealed.

Next thing I know I'm in the Monster's jaws, getting my whole torso brutally cut and my right foreleg nearly chopped off. He throws me all the way across the cave room. I land on a really high part of the wall. I am launched slightly upwards after the super gorey impact, just enough to see who was hidden and controlling all this...

MY COLTFRIEND JAMES?!

Immediately I was filled with both mental and physical pain. Betrayal and dismemberment. I don't even care about living anymore. James Heckle. He's now as dead to me as I am totally bucking screwed right now.

The impact on the ground was graphic, loud and painful. But somehow, I'm still alive. I can barely see now. My vision is so blurry and red, I can't even cry. My head waves around slowly at a blurry sight of the Face Monster about to eat me alive. Suddenly I hear a voice.

"Duklin... Wake up!" It cries, "Wake Up!"

"WAKE UP!!!!"

I wake up in my bed - no, on the floor of my bedroom. "WHA?" I Scream.

"Duklin!" My coltfriend speaks, and he sounds relieved that I was awake, "Finally you woke up!'

"What? What....." I yawn "What happened?"

"Looks like you had a terrible nightmare."

"Oh.... It was all just... all a dream..."

"I mean, you were tumbling around the room everywhere, mumbling about cliches or something."

"I was sleepwalking?"

"Sleepcrawling."

"Oh..."

"So do you remember anything about your dream? Maybe about the... Cliches?"

"I whispered to myself that I wish I had a light, and a lantern dropped down from a high ceiling without harm to it."

"Much cliche"

I chuckle, "Very convenient."

"Wow." We both say it at the same time, laughing.

Chapter I Part II - Fogs Games

"What'cha makin'?" James Heckle calls to me.

"Microwaved Marichan Pork-Flavour Ramen." I reply.

"Does it taste good? 'Cause I've had Marichan Chicken Ramen boiled, and it was great."

"Ohhh yes"

"Hmm. Maybe you could teach me the recipe sometime?"

"That sounds nice."

The Microwave beeps to show that the meal is ready. "Well that's my cue." I say, then get the Ramen into a bowl, and go into the living room to eat. James follows me with a bowl of Cheery O's Cereal. I sit on the couch, and pull out my JoyBoy Advanced and got out a Human game called "Pokémon Ruby" that Twilight gave me from the human world. She said it was Spike's Idea. James sits down next to me and turns on the Television.

"Whazzat?" I ask.

"A Pokémon Black & White Season 1 VHS Tape Twi gave me." He replies

"Maybe that's related to my Pokémon Ruby Game"

"Nah, I think it's a different series."

"But... It's Pokémon?"

"A different Pokémon"

"Ohh... 'Kay" I continued to eat my noodles and play my game at the same time. After a while, I finished my noodles right at a good Save-Point. 'All these damn coincidences.' I think to myself. Damn, such a thinker I am. Heh. Rhyme.

I know I have the responsibility to wash the dishes, but I don't do it until after supper, 'cause I hate having to repeatedly wash my dishes over and over and over and over.... I put my dishes in the sink, and go to our room.

CHAT LOG

6/7/20016

7:05

Players Online

Duklin5

PartyPieofPink

CazzyODUNN1

Duklin5: Heyyy!

PartyPieofPink: Hiya! What's up!

CazzyODUNN1: Hello..

Duklin5: Only 3 Ponies here today?

Duklin5: Well then.

Duklin5: That's

PartyPieofPink: I was on for 9 hours and 7 hours in Cazzy joined.

Duklin5: Strange.

PartyPieofPink: for the previous 7 hours before 5:00 NO ONE WAS ON and I was really sad because no one was on.

CazzyODUNN1: I figured you'd be on, so I joined..

CazzyODUNN1: I knew it..

PartyPieofPink: Wby do you always speak with 2 periods at the end of your sentences?

CazzyODUNN1: 'Cause that's how I learned it??

CazzyODUNN1 I always wondered why you speak in one..

Duklin5: Makes sense.

PartyPieofPink: Sooooooooooooooooooo weird!

Duklin5: Pinkie Pie!

Duklin5: No!

b]PartyPieofPink: Makes you sound like you're depressed all the time.

CazzyODUNN1: Same thing I think about your way of typing..

CazzyODUNN1: Saying "Wby" and all..

PartyPieofPink: SHUT UP!!!!

Duklin5: GUYS!

Duklin5: STOP!

Duklin5: You're getting irritating fighting like this!

PartyPieofPink: Sorry.......

CazzyODUNN1: Okay..

PartyPieofPink: I'll stop..

CazzyODUNN1: We'll stop*

PartyPieofPink: Don't Correct me!

Duklin5: You'll BOTH stop ARGUING! >:(

Duklin5: Cazzy, Stop baiting Pinkie Pie and being a grammar nazi.

Duklin5: [ Content Deleted ]

CazzyODUNN1: uhh...

Duklin5: Pinkie, stop making fun of Cazzy's way of punctuation, and getting really ticked off and using all caps.

CazzyODUNN1: What's a Grammar Nazi??

PartyPieofPink: A Grammar Nazi is someone who makes fun of someone's Grammar and/or Speling.

Duklin5: It's a human term

PartyPieofPink: What, didn't you go to Twilight Sparkle's Human Term class a few months ago?

CazzyODUNN1: I though the classes would be crowded..

PartyPieofPink: There is a maximum of 10 Ponies per class.

CazzyODUNN1: Oh...

CazzyODUNN1: Guess I missed something important..

PartyPieofPink: It's Okay!

Duklin5: Twi's still taking classes. It just costs a lot more

CazzyODUNN1: How much??

Duklin5: lemme check online

Duklin5: brb

CazzyODUNN1: k

Duklin5 is now AFK

PartyPieofPink left the game.

Duklin5 is no longer AFK AFK

Duklin5: 26 Bits

CazzyODUNN1: Oh my Celestia!!

CazzyODUNN1: That's alot!!

Duklin5: Yeah.

Duklin5: Wait

Duklin5: Pinkie Left?

Duklin5: Without warning?

CazzyODUNN1: Somehow..

CazzyODUNN1: Mom's saying I have to go..

CazzyODUNN1: bye..

Duklin5: bye.

CazzyODUNN1 left the game

DISCONNECTED

'What should I do now?' I think, 'There's StreamEquestria (YouTube), Ill do that.' So I get on StreamEquestria. I'm thinking of watching or joining Rainbow Dash & Pinkie Pie's Minecraft livestream in 30 minutes when It's planned to start. I watch a 28 minute Trotting Dead video by Dash made a while back.

1 hour later

I've been waiting for HALF A BUCKING HOUR and they haven't got on yet.

"What the hell is happening with them? First, Pinkie Leaves the game without warning and now her and Rainbow Dash are super late to a stream?" I say out loud, "She's never late to a stream. Always either super early or exactly on time."

Friends List

Listed by: 10

Sorted by: Date added*[First-last]*

YOU: {Duklin5} ONLINE "BONUS DUCKS!"

{HecklerofTHEM} OFFLINE "I'm an Oxymoron."

{CazzyODUNN1} OFFLINE "Crazy O'sunny.."

{ClabbyClabbyDance} ONLINE "I named a dance move after myself because it sounds cool"

{StoneCutter764} ONLINE (In Game: *Minecraft)*** "JUST BUCKING DEAL WITH IT!"

{Cloudsdust1123} ONLINE (In Game: *Minecraft)*** "Alicorn Non-Princess"

{DiamondAxe7601} ONLINE (In Game: *Minecraft)*** "YOSHI"

{AWESOMEDASH} ONLINE "20% Cooler then everything you know"

{PartyPieofPink} ONLINE "" "IT'S TIME TO PARTY!!!"

{DJPon-3} ONLINE (In: *MusicS Music Maker)*** "Wubadub dub Mothabuckas!"

{Fluttershy01} ONLINE (In Game: *7 Moons to die)*** "Trying out new games"

Previous          Next

Rainbow and Pinkie are online... But not anywhere else?

"Hey... James!" I call to James.

...

"JAMES!"

"Coming!" He finally replies. I can hear him galloping down the hall. He opens the door really hard. "Yes?"

"Do you have an idea what this might be?" I point to Pinkie & Rainbow's Names.

"Yeah..." He looks at me like I'm retarded. "Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are online."

"Well, what are they supposed to be streaming?"

"Babe." He rolled his eyes, "They aren't streaming."

"Pinkie Left without warning on our Minecraft Server."

"What?"

I pull up their livestream on StreamEquestria. It STILL isn't rolling. I point at the Title. 'MINECRAFT PONYVILLE MINIGAMES LIVESTREAM AT 8:15'. Then I point at the chat, filled with angry fans wondering why it's 8:49 and they aren't on yet. "See?"

"What the buck is going on?"

"I don't know, but I have a theory."

"What?"

"Y'know. The-uh... The thing?"

"The thing?"

"Yeah. The thing."

He thinks for a few seconds, then gasps when he realizes. "They're seriously ditching their fans to fuck each other?"

"Either that or someone got seriously hurt."

"Yeah, that makes more sense."

"No, them having sex does."

"True dat."