Day of the Derpy

by nobody_in_particular

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves, Sad, Roseluck, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 2040

Derpy is feeling horrible ever since her husband, Doctor Whooves, and Roseluck started going on missions together. To get herself friends, Derpy goes to the Mirror Pond. You can guess what happens next.

Derpy and the Doctor are married now, but that doesn't mean Doctor Whooves is going to give up having adventures in the TARDIS. He makes Roseluck his new companion and they leave,sometimes for weeks at a time.

Derpy has no friends in Ponyville since she's always screwing up. Knowing they're won't be anypony in Ponyville, she recalls the time when Pinkie made copies of herself and gets a brilliant idea.

Published 2016-06-15 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-15 01:00:01 UTC

Day of the Derpy

I sit at a little mushroom table, not sure what to do.

The Doctor is gone again, and that’s normal for me. I’m used to not having my husband with me 24/7. It was the fact that he took Rose with him that I’m mad about. He assured me it was for ‘safety precautions’ but I’ve seen how close Rose stands next to him and always gives me a menacing look, as if saying “He’ll be mine.”

I see Fluttershy walking with little three year old Screwball to the market. Only now do I realize that she’s talking to me. “Um… Derpy?” she asks.

I look up. “Oh, sorry Fluttershy.” I say. “I guess I’m a little out of it today.”

“Yeah. I saw the Doctor and Rose leave a few weeks ago. Sorry.” she says.

I wave my hoof dismissively. “It’s fine.” I lie.

She keeps going down the path. I sigh.

All around me I see couples and best friends hanging out. Lyra and Bon-Bon are sitting together on that bench they like. Applejack, Apple Sprout and Illuminate Maximus are playing a game of cards. Twilight is away on official Canterlot business, so the Apple family agreed to watch Max for the time being.

I wish I had friends. I tried to make friends with Rainbow Dash once, but that wasn’t very effective. Neither was trying to make friends with Matilda and Cranky. I’ve heard the expression ‘be your own best friend’ as a foal, but what does that really mean? “If only there was more of me to go around. Then I could be my own best friend, or make friends with other ponies.” I mutter to myself.

My ears perk up. “More of me to go around?” I say. Then it dawns on me. “More of me to go around!”

I stand up. I know exactly what I’m doing… I think.

If I know Ponyville correctly, which I do, Cannibal’s Crest should be around here somewhere. Cannibal’s Crest is the most deadly part of the Everfree Forest. I don’t know if this will work or not. I walk past the DANGER sign, knowing what I’m going to do.

I hope I’m remembering what Pinkie Pie told me. I see a giant clump of black thick brambles. Yep, I’m definitely in the right place.I try to fly over them, but the wall of brambles is too high. One thing about me is that I can curl up into a really small ball. I crawl into a gap in the vines. Finally I’ve past them, and they’re no longer a problem.

Then I see it. The old rock that Twilight put over the entrance to the Mirror Pool. The rock is old and crumbling now. I try to dig around it, hoping that the rock will be easier to move, but no such luck.  My patience is wearing thin now. I stand on the rock and jump as hard as I can.

The old boulder splits down the middle. I stomp again. Some of the boulder falls into to the hole underneath it. The entire rock starts moving, and before I can take flight the rock falls into the hole, along with me. It feels like every bone in my body is breaking as the rock rolls over me several times.Finally I land on the ground. I open my eyes and see the Mirror Pool in front of me. I wipe the dust off me and walk towards the Pool slowly.

Is this really the best idea? Probably not.

Before anypony can stop me, I’m reciting the words to the spell.

“And into her own reflection she stared, and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly there.”

I see a head-my head-pop out of the pool. I pull me out. Her grin is freakishly wide. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… I think.

She looks at me. “Will you be my friend?” she asks. I nod.

“But we need a few more me-s. Or a few more uses.” I say.

A few minutes later there are four of me. “Alright, let’s go have fun!” I say, flying out of the ditch.

I’ve flown past the brambles when I realize nopony is following me. “Um, guys?” I call out.

A hear a low rumble, then one by one tons of me-s shoot out of the hole. I gasp. I didn’t want that many. Only a few.  I fly back to Ponyville as fast as I can.

I knock on the door of the Friendship Castle. Twilight comes to answer. “Oh, hi Derpy.” she says. “What can I help you with?” “Oh, I’m so sorry Princess. I didn’t mean to, honest! But the way Rose acted when she was with him. It made me so mad. And now she gets permission to go with him on little adventures, while I’m stuck here with nopony else!”  I shout.

“Derpy.” she says. “What’s going on?”

A group of up to thirty me-s run past us, shouting “Muffins!”

“Derpy, what did you do?” she asks.

I lower my head. I probably look like I’m about to cry. Which I almost am. Almost.

She sighs. “Derpy, I don’t understand. I’m sure Rose means well.” I lower my head even further. “You need to give her a chance.”

That sets me over the edge and around the corner. “No!” I shout. “I’m done giving her chances. For years everypony’s been walking all over me, and I’m sick of it!” I fly away, not able to stop the tears falling down my face. I fly to the corner of Ponyville where a cottage lies.

It’s where we live when we can’t live in the Tardis. I walk into the house.  I slam the door behind me, not wanting to see anypony. I don’t know what they’re going to do about the clones, but I’m not coming out until they fix it.

In the middle of the town, the Tardis appeared.

Twilight was currently outside trying to find the real Derpy.She tensed up as she heard WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH“Oh, no.” she thought “Please come back later.”

The Doctor and Rose stepped out, Rose laughing at something the Doctor had said. The Doctor gasped as a herd of Derpys ran past them. “Great whickering stallions!” he exclaimed.  “This could be a problem.”

Twilight was trying to push through a crowd of clones. Finally she managed to get to the Doctor. “Princess Twilight, what is going on?” he asked.

“I don’t know exactly.” she admitted. “We’ve got to find the real Derpy. She could be any of these.”

He doubted the real Derpy would be in this crowd. None of the mares seemed to be interested in him. He slipped away to the edge if Ponyville and found the small cottage. He knocked on the door. “There’s nopony home!” Came a voice-unmistakably Derpy’s- from the inside of the house.  He could tell it was the real Derpy by how she spoke. She was a bit frightened, but her voice had love in it too.

He banged on the door again. “Dear, let me in!” he said. “No.” Derpy said, her voice cracking slightly.

I’m hiding in the house, leaning up against the door. I locked it, but it’s better to be cautious. My ears perk up as I hear his sonic screwdriver buzzing, signaling to me that he’s unlocking the door. I move out of the way, knowing that I don’t want to get hit with a door.

He creaks open the door and I flinch, wondering what will happen next.

Pinkie is in Sugar Cube Corner mixing up a new cupcake recipe using the special rocks that Maud found for the rock candy.

Somehow she and Cheese haven’t heard about the Derpy storm yet.

Pinkie looks up as Twilight runs into the room.

“Hey-Pinkie-remember-that-time-you-made-a-bunch-of-clones-of-yourself?” She asked quickly.

“Um, maybe. Let me check my mental scrapbook.” Pinkie said. She stood there for a moment before saying, “Oh, yeah. That was crazy!”

“Well, Derpy made of bunch of clones for some reason, but that’s not important. How can we tell the real Derpy from all the rest of them?”

Pinkie tapped her chin, deep in thought. “Well, I remember wondering if you would ever believe me if I told you I was the real one, but I also remember having to watch paint dry to stay with you.”

“I was thinking about trying to find Derpy the same way I found you, but Derpy, she doesn’t have friends. Except you maybe. And Doctor Whooves.”

Pinkie’s whole face lit up. “I’ve got it!” she said. The Doctor and Derpy were walking into the town. He was certain they had found the real Derpy.  Derpy was flinching every time somepony spoke and darting her head around as if she had a secret that could be found out at any moment.

“Are you all right?” he asked her. Derpy gulped and nodded.

Twilight and Pinkie ran over to them. “We’ve found out how to find the real Derpy!” Pinkie said happily.

“I thought we already did that.” Doctor Whooves said, motioning to the mare by his side. “I’m certain she is the real one.” Derpy was biting her hooves and looking more than nervous.

“Are you all right?” Twilight asked. Derpy nodded very quickly. After a minimum of thirty quick bobs she stopped.

“So what was this idea you had?” Doctor Whooves asked.

Pinkie and Twilight smiled. “Let’s just see if you are the real Derpy.” Twilight said to her with a somewhat out of character evil grin. “Oh, Derpies!” she called out.

One by one, they all turned their heads to look at her.

“I was wondering your opinion on this stallion here!” Twilight said, motioning to Doctor Whooves. A murmur went through the crowd, mostly things like, “He’s fine, I guess.” and “Why should I care?” or in one instance, “I like his bowtie. Bowties are cool.”

But one pegasus flew straight at the Doctor like a canon ball. It was like she had the intention of knocking him over, but when she reached him she flung her arms around his neck and sobbed into his coat. “I’m sorry.” She said through chocked sobs. “I never meant for this to happen.” In those words, he heard everything.

“Derpy.” he whispered, holding her close.

The Derpy standing next to Doctor Whooves finally lost it. “Alright, I’m not the real Derpy. And neither are they.” she said, pointing to the herd of Derpies. “She’s the real one.” she pointed to the one with the Doctor. “You can do it now, Princess. We are ready.” She said to Twilight.

“Do what?” Twilight asked.

“Get rid of us, you know? We don’t belong here.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that part.” The last time this had happened, Twilight wanted the duplicates         (and triplicates and quadruplicates) to be all gone, but she didn’t know they really had… feelings. This Derpy had the mind and memories of the real Derpy. But now it felt as if she was killing off the real Derpy.

“I... um.” Twilight stammered.

“Just do it!” the clone yelled. Twilight flinched.

“Are you sure? We might be able to-“

“No. I belong in the mirror pool. Just like all the Pinkies did. I’m not meant to be here.”

Twilight sighed. Her horn lit up and in a flash all the Derpys were gone. All except for one. The clone opened her eyes and saw she was in a rocky terrain. Things were gray and dull. This was a world of survival, of adventure. The clone had heard about this place. “The Other-Dimension?” she said in a hushed tone.

A colt walked up to her. He had a sand timer Cutie Mark. “Excuse me.” he said. “Do you know where the nearest bus stop is?”

She smiled. “Actually, that’s what I need to find, also. You wanna go together?”

The colt smiled a bit. “Alright, I guess so.”

Derpy looked up at him with tears going down her face.

He wiped them away with his hoof. “You promise you won’t do that again?” he asked her.

She nodded. “I promise.” she said. He smiled and kissed her muzzle.