“Luna, get out from under there. Please?” Celestia begged, her head angled and neck outstretched as she attempted to peek around the bed leg.

“No. You can’t make me,” her sister whimpered.

Celestia sighed; it was already hard enough to see with the only light in Luna’s bedroom seeping in from the hallway. To make it harder—for a reason beyond her—Luna had taken refuge under her bed and was committed to not coming out. “Luna, it’s your birthday. All your friends are waiting downstairs for you. Don’t you want to open your presents and play games with your friends?”

“No. I don’t even know those ponies,” Luna said, followed by a squeaky “hmph.”

Celestia groaned; she didn’t need to see her sister to know she was in her usual pouting pose: chin up, forelegs crossed, and her signature bottom lip puffed out like a swell—just as adorable as it was irritating. “Whatever could that filly want? I don’t remember being so unhappy on my twelfth birthday, or any birthday come to think of it,” she thought.

“You need to come downstairs.” Firm as her voice, Celestia jabbed a stringent forehoof onto the marble floor, standing as straight as a soldier.

“Go away, Tia. I want to be alone,” Luna whined, softer now.

Celestia’s stature held abiding. She pressed her lips into a line, and gritted her teeth. A barely audible simmering, like a leaky tire, escaped her. “I put a lot of time and effort into this party for you. Now don’t make me say it again. Come downstairs. Your friends are waiting on you.” She pointed a stern foreleg towards the door, and her eyebrows curled inwards.

A few tense moments passed, and Luna hadn’t budged.

Celestia had had enough of these shenanigans. Standing tall and chest puffed out, she marched towards Luna, “That’s it. Luna, you’re going to get down there, and you’re going to—” Her eyes fell pitifully on her younger sibling. Tears rolled down Luna’s flushed blue face as she frantically tried to wipe them away.

In a beat, Celestia’s voice softened, “Lulu, what’s wrong?” She lowered her head to be by her sister’s side.

“Go away, Tia,” Luna choked out, staggering over her tears.

An overwhelming weight fell on Celestia’s heart, and feelings of sympathy flooded her chest. Her eyes softened and she whispered, “Lulu—”

“Go away Tia!” she shouted, uncoiling herself from her fetal-like position to lash out, only to be stopped by a sharp, painful collision with the bottom of the bed frame. “Ow,” she whimpered, and clutched for the top of her head.

Celestia struggled to see her sister like this; it made her heart wrench. The longer she looked, the more her heart tightened, until she couldn’t take it anymore. Celestia wrapped her forehooves around Luna and embraced her in a bear hug. Hesitantly, Luna embraced her back, and hung onto her sister with as much strength as she could muster as she continued to sob.

Luna kept on, irregularly taking harsh breaths, sniveling and bawling like a newborn foal. Celestia leaned in and kissed the bump on her sister’s head and caressed her back. Slowly, but surely, her breathing steadied, and her eyes dammed. Luna pulled away and rubbed the rawness under her eyes as the last of her tears traced their way down her cheeks and dribbled onto the floor.

With glossy, quivering eyes Luna stared at Celestia’s chest, then moved her way up to look her sister in the face before her eyes cowered back to the floor. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s alright, we all get upset sometimes.” Celestia offered a comforting smile despite knowing Luna wasn’t going to see it.

Luna looked up innocently. “Not that,” she pointed to Celestia’s chest with a droopy foreleg, “I got snot on your coat.” Her gaze fell back to the floor in embarrassment, and she wiped away at the remaining wetness in her eyes.

Celestia went cross-eyed and peered at her chest awkwardly. No doubt about it, there was a mixture of snot and tears smeared into her coat, quite a bit of it too. Celestia scanned the room and spotted a box of tissues on Luna’s nightstand. With a sparkle of her horn she plucked a few sheets and levitated them to her side. “Don’t worry about it; it doesn’t matter,” she said, and wiped herself off.

“Look up,” she instructed, and Luna complied. Celestia cleaned off her sister’s face until all that remained were blush cheeks and nervous glint in her eyes. Celestia balled the tissues up and threw them away in a nearby trashcan.

“Do you want to tell me what that was about or…?” Celestia mused.

Luna, eyes glued to the floor, mumbled, “You wouldn’t understand…”

Celestia furrowed her brow, “Oh really? Why not?”

“You just wouldn’t,” Luna said, even more distorted than the first time.

“What makes you think I wouldn’t understand?”

“Because…” Luna’s twirled a forehoof in thought, her eyes moving across the floor, “you’re different.”

“How am I different—”

“Because you don’t get scared, Tia!” Luna exclaimed, catching both herself and Celestia by surprise.

Celestia’s flinched, and her mouth unhinged slightly to speak, but she was stricken with silence.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

Celestia remained quiet. She only stared at her sister while she asked herself the same question over and over again. “Why doesn’t she think I get scared?” She pondered, until finally—unexpecting of Celestia—it snuck past Luna’s lips.

“Because, you’re never scared. You don’t act scared.”

Celestia blinked.

“Don’t you think I was scared just now?”

Luna’s eyes paused, and she stared blankly at the floor.

Celestia waited.

Luna’s quiet response emerged from the silence, “Yeah…”

“Then what is it you don’t think I’d be scared of? You can tell me.”

Luna paused for a few seconds, then sighed. “It’s complicated,” she muttered, her eyes affixed on Celestia’s chest.

Celestia blinked at Luna, and blankly stared at her head as her mind ventured elsewhere. About half a minute passed before she reacquainted herself with reality; she opened her mouth to speak, then clamped it shut again.

Celestia opened her mouth once more, but once again, flinched. She took a deep breath and placed a comforting hoof on her sister’s shoulder. “Lulu,” she managed, “What are you scared of?”

Luna scratched the back of her neck and swallowed. “Growing up—I guess.”

“What’s wrong with growing up?” Celestia asked, placing her haunches beside her sister.

Luna pushed her two hooves together mindlessly as she fumbled for an answer in her head. “I don’t know,” she said softly.

Celestia squinted, “So, you’re scared of getting older, but you don’t know why?”

Luna paused, her forelegs dropping back to the floor. “No, I mean—” she pressed her lips together and thought “—I mean, it’s hard to explain. I don’t know if I want to be a princess. I mean, I do! But sometimes… I don’t…” She traced little circles across the floor with her hoof.

Celestia watched her trace for a few moments without speaking. “You know…” she started, “I think that all the time.”

Luna’s head snapped around, and her eyes widened at Celestia. “Really?” she shrieked. Celestia grimaced for a quick second, then nodded, a gentle smile across her face. “I don’t believe you. But y-y-you’re also so, so, so—”

Celestia interrupted with a smirk. “Proper? Professional? Punctual? Sickeningly enthusiastic? Responsible? Elegan—”

“I was going to say bossy, but those work too.”

Celestia’s smug grin quickly turned into a frown, her eyes narrowed.

Luna giggled, a hoof raised to conceal her sheepish grin.

“Ha, ha, ha, very funny.” Celestia rolled her eyes. “But yes, believe it or not I have days I don’t want to be a princess at all. I may not be a kid anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the days I was allowed to be.” She sighed, looking off in the distance, sifting through her memories.

Luna cleared her throat, pulling Celestia back to reality. “That’s great, Tia, but what about now? Now you’re grown up, you’re not a kid anymore. You’re always busy. You’re in court all day! I’m turning thirteen next year. That means I’ll have to start going to court, too! I don’t want to go to court.” Celestia opened her mouth but was cut off before she could speak. “And don’t tell me it’s ‘what I have to do’ because I know I have to do it,” snapped Luna, upset. She sighed. “I don’t want to be a princess. I see what you have to go through, and I don’t want to.

“At least not that soon. Most fillies my age don’t have to start worrying about jobs or anything like that until they’re eighteen. That’s five more years than I get. It’s eight more than you got. It’s so unfair…” Luna wilted, her head hanging hopelessly. Celestia stretched her leg around her sister and pulled her close enough so Luna’s back was resting against her chest. “I know there’s nothing you can tell me to make it any better. It is what it is. I’m just upset about it.”

Celestia squeezed her sister lovingly. “Maybe I could talk to the council about it—”

“You’re not allowed to. You know that.”

“I’m the princess, I’m the authority.”

Luna tilted her head back and peered at Celestia. “They don’t take orders from you until you’re fifty. Remember the rule Star Swirl made?” Celestia had sighed as soon as her sister said ‘Star Swirl.’ She loved the old wizard dearly, but he made it rather hard to run a monarchy by limiting the power of the monarch. “It’s okay, Sis. Like I said, it’s fine.”

Uncomfortable, Celestia shifted herself, released her grip on Luna, and lay back against the frame of the bed. “Think Celestia, think.” It wasn’t often she was at a loss for words. She would spend all day speaking with diplomats, citizens, guards, and councils, so it was rare she’d go a long time without talking. Now that she needed to speak, she was clueless as to what she should say.

Suddenly, an idea sprouted in her mind. She sat up as straight as a yardstick, “Lulu?” Luna tilted her head back just enough so their eyes locked with one another. “You have the most vivid dreams, don’t you?”

Luna appeared puzzled, scrunching her face together, “Uh… I do, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

“Hm.” Celestia nodded. “When I started court I was excited, I thought about all the problems I’d be able to solve, all the different ponies I’d meet, all the adoration I’d get. I had already decided it was going to be a dream come true before the first day.”

“Heh, I wish,” said Luna, followed by a huff to blow her messy mane out of her eyes.

Celestia cracked a smile. “I said at first. I was nervous, yes, but I was excited more than anything. And do you want to guess how long it took before my excitement turned to boredom?”

“Tia, this isn’t making me feel better—”

“Forty-five minutes. It took me forty-five minutes before I wanted to quit. I knew very little about the issues that were occurring, I was in a constant rush to eat, change clothes and even use the bathroom. Guards followed me everywhere around the castle, and by the end of the day I’d exhausted my entire vocabulary. Do you know what ‘risible’ means?”

“I’m guessing it means something like miserable?”

“That’s what I thought too, but judging by the reaction I received from the council, that was an ‘inappropriate’ way to describe a tragic divorce settlement.”

Luna blinked. “Divorce settlement—”

“Never mind that,” Celestia interrupted, “by the end of the day I was done with being a ‘princess.’ I never wanted to do it again, but I still had one more court session to get through before I could go back to my quarters. During that session I met a stallion by the name of Marco Foalo. He was a positive soul, chipper, and he had so many bright ideas. I was enthralled by him; he talked about voyaging across the seas, discovering new land for Equestria, making Equestria rich with salt, tons of ludicrous things. The council told me he was a nut, and said it would be stupid to fund his expeditions, his dreams, but he was just so passionate I couldn’t say no.

“Today, he’s made Equestria a much better place, resources are plenty and our horizons are wider, and this was only nine years ago.” Celestia smiled at Luna, who had turned a full hundred and eighty degrees since she’d started her story.

“That’s great, Tia…” Luna raised her chin slightly so she could look Celestia in the eye. “But what does that have to do with anything, or dreams?”

Celestia’s dimples puffed out like marshmallows, “Since that first day I’ve decided to focus on not the task at hoof, but the ponies involved with the task. Whomever my decisions may impact, I think about them, and I think they’re really no different than myself. We share similar thoughts, similar feelings, and like everypony else, they have a dream. And I know, whatever I’m doing, whether it’s funding a voyage, passing a bill to unite tribes, or even something as small as buying the Filly Scout cookies, I’m helping whomever in some way.”

“And that helps you?” Luna asked.

Celestia gave a simple nod. “Absolutely,” she said, rising to all fours, “it reminds me why what we do is so important. Think small. Though court may be dreadfully boring, most times you’re helping somepony who really needs it. If you think about the individual you’re helping, it seems less like a chore, and when it’s over you feel all giddy inside; trust me.”

Luna rubbed the back of her neck, “Yeah, I guess that makes me feel a little better.”

Celestia sucked in her lips then clicked her tongue. “What is it, Lulu? It doesn’t sound like it makes you feel any better.”

“It does! Honest!” She stopped.

“But?” Celestia leaned in.

“But… what about my dream? Helping ponies is nice and all, but it’s a lot, you know? I still want to be me, and me isn’t sitting in a throne room all day, and meetings, and all that other gobbledegook you do.”

Celestia chuckled. “Ah, a ruler’s sacrifice. They must give up their own dream for the greater good.”

Luna kicked her hoof into the ground, “Yeah...”

“Well, what if I told you that isn’t true?”

“Then you’d be a liar, Tia.”

Celestia burst with laughter. “I’m not lying, Luna. I promise.”

“Oh yeah?” Luna sneered, “Then why is it you’re always busy? Like you said, you’re busy all the time. You barely have time to yourself.”

“Well, how much time do you think it took for me set up that party of yours going on downstairs?” Celestia said, watching as Luna’s cheeks flamed from within. “I have more free time than I lead on; and when I said the guards were all over me that was just to begin with. Over time they become less and less suffocating, I promise.”

Luna returned her sister’s warm smile, but only for a second. She blinked as another question emerged from her head. “What’s your dream then?”

Celestia raised a hoof to her chin, cocking her head slightly. “Honestly,” she said, “I really don’t know yet. I really, really like tea. I also like science, but I like politics too, so maybe I lucked out.” Celestia shrugged.

“Well…” Luna sat poised for the first time of the conversation. “I like painting.”

“And that’s why your night is always so beautiful.”

Luna’s blush intensified. “Thank you,” she whispered. A moment later she threw her forelegs around her older sister and squeezed as hard as she could, earning an “oof” from Celestia. “Really, thank you.” Luna repeated, nuzzling Celestia’s chest with her muzzle. “You’re the best older sister I could ever have!” she cheered, pulling back just enough so Celestia could see her toothy grin.

It was Celestia’s turn to blush as her white cheeks turned rosy. “Well, I’m glad I could help.” She patted her sister on the back with one hoof and used the other to ruffle her mane.

Luna withdrew from her embrace, swatting her hoof away, giggling, “Stop it, Tia. You’re messing it up.”

“No, I’m fixing it,” she said smugly, warranting an eye roll from her sibling. “So, do you think you want to be a princess again?”

Luna held a pensive expression, waiting for a moment before waving a dismissive hoof. “We’ll see.” She shrugged casually. “I still have a year to think on it.”

“Well alright then.” Celestia beamed. “Now, how about that party? I’ve really wanted a slice of cake since it came out of the oven this morning.”

Luna sniggered. “You eat a lot of cake, Tia.”

“Call it one of my princess perks,” she said with a wink, then gleefully trotted out of the room.

Following her sister’s lead, Luna skipped out on her own accord.

Author's Note

Well, I'm finally posting. And it's something I'm proud of.

Thank you to all my followers for being patient with me, it means the world, thank you for my wondeful friends for supporting me and pushing me to write. And especially thank you to the those who've taken the time to read. I'm really grateful for all of you.