“You just had to one-up me, Pinkie.” Twilight looked up at the airship parked in front of the castle. She walked up to the hull of the ship and slammed her hoof against it. “Ack!”“ she winced and shook her hoof.
“It’s not fake, Twilight.” Pinkie replied
“Pinkie Pie, that air balloon I use is one of Celestia’s. It would cost three hundred bits to actually rent one for one ride, and considering that this is a huge step up it the only way you could afford this is . . . please tell me you didn’t rob a bank” she sighed and held a hoof to her forehead.
“Nope! I bought it!” She proudly held up a receipt and shoved it into Twilight’s face. “See?” Twilight grabbed the piece of paper with her magic and read it under her breath.
“War Machines International . . . win a free platoon of automatons to do your bidding . . . and the Warship co-” She looked hastily across the paper and blinked a dozen times, but the number stayed the same.
“You want to know how I got 200,000 bits?” Pinkie snickered. Twilight nodded slowly with a blank expression. Pinkie looked around and found no other pony was there. “Well, I do more parties than you guys think I do. One time I accidently fell into the mirror and I met the other Pinkie Pie. I told her what I wanted to do and we immediately thought up a plan. We started doing a ‘trick’ at parties where Human Pinkie Pie split into two. When people saw it they told their friends to cancel their current party planner/entertainer and just hire us. Our act soon flooded the market for parties and began to hurt the sales of rival party companies. We bought out the ones that didn’t go bankrupt and watched as any new companies fell to our might.” Pinkie laughed maniacally and lightning struck as she stood in front of her airship.
“And how’d you convert all that money to bits?”
“Well, the human money isn’t known about so, a lot of ponies wanted it and I traded it for bits. You probably don’t want to hear about that”
“Why not?”
“This story is rated E”
“Pinkie quiet!” Twilight sneered
“Oh right, don’t want the dimension tearing again” A dimensional rift suddenly appeared in front of the castle. And the sky turned red, the wind picked up, and the sound of maniacal laughter rang around them.
“Darn it Pinkie! The threads of this reality were already weakened from last time you broke the fourth wall”
“It’s fine, stop being so dramatic” Pinkie pulled a gigantic roll of duct tape out of nowhere and tore off a piece. She laid it down on the rip in reality and smoothed it out.
“Good as new. Now can we get back to the conf- I mean the airship’ Pinkie asked. Twilight sighed.
“Sure, whatever” Twilight rolled her eyes.
“Okay, I was thinking that since me and you are the least tied down to Ponyville we could go around and solve non-friendship problems. The rambunctious wild card and the purple nerd travel everywhere, Equestria and beyond, on this airship” she put swung her hoof around Twilight’s neck. “So, whaddya say chum?” Pinkie gave her a cheeky grin.
“I guess we could do this but, I’m not free on weekdays” Twilight
“Is there a reason?”
“I have to smile and wave at a few places”
“Oh right. Wait, I thought you didn’t do that anymore,”
“Why would that change?”Twilight asked in a sarcastic tone
“I guess you’re right” Pinkie scratched the back of her head nervously.
“Well, bye”
:Wait, I gotta show you the-” Pinkie was shut up by the sound of the gigantic crystalline door slamming.
“It’s time for an adventure!” Pinkie yelled.
The dynamic duo stood on top of the airship with their saddlebags on their backs. It was complete with wooden rails on both sides and a wheel on the upper deck. It was still parked in front of the castle.
“So, where are we going?” Twilight asked.
“Hey! How’re you guys going to get back when the map calls?” Rainbow yelled from a cloud above them.
“Turned it off with a spell. It’s still on for you and the others” Twilight yelled back.
‘Alrighty then. Bring me back some souvenirs!” Rainbow flew off.
“Weird how Rainbow was here just to ask that” Pinkie said aloud.
“Don’t you dare start” Twilight gave her a scowl.
“Okay, okay. Miss bossy-pants” Pinkie huffed and wished she asked Rainbow to come instead. Twilight pulled out a book with her magic and sprawled out on the deck. The book plopped onto the deck as it was released from the lavender aura and it opened with the same aura once again.
“So, are we ready to go? Pinkie asked. In her juvenile-like joy once again. She was at the helm of the ship at the wheel
“Yup, let’s go” Twilight answered without looking up from the chapter book she brought.
“Cool . . . er- Twilight?”
“Could you help me with the wheel? I’m not sure how it works”
“I thought you said you went to the Human World” Twilight got up and closed the book with her magic. It flew back into her saddlebag as she walked up to the wheel. “How’d you even get it here if you couldn’t fly it?”
“Some guy from the store flew it for me”
“Of course they did. Get out of the way” she reached the wheel and grabbed it with her magic.
“Now just turn it to the right until the levitation runes on the bottom of the ship cut on. Once that happens will float up. When that happens turn it all the way till the left till the back propellers turn on. Then we can start steering to lands we never knew!”
Twilight started pulling it to the left. “So as the pony who drove this thing at first a Unicorn?”Twilight asked.
“Uh-huh”
Weep-Woop!
“What was that?” Twilight asked.
“Think that was the runes. Start turning it left” Twilight did as she asked. Pinkie looked over the starboard side and saw that the castle was now starting to get below them.
Whoosh!
“The ship jerked forward and Twilight hit her nose on the wheel and Pinkie held on for dear life on to the railing.
“OOOOOOOOWWWWWW!” Twilight yelled out in pain. The ship was now going forward and Ponyville was now behind them.
Pinkie unhooked her front legs from the railing and ran to Twilight”
“You alright?” she asked.
“Yeah, let’s just get this trainwreck started. She rubbbed her snout and her horn glowed. Taking hold of the wheel again and starting their adventure.
“
“
“So, I have a map here” Pinkie pulled a modestly sized rolled up paper out of her saddlebag with her mouth-
“Did I hear rolled up?” An african american man with sunglasses and dreadlocks appeared out of nowhere.
“Get out of here you stupid reference joke!” Twilight yelled.
“Fine, but, only because there ain’t any of the good sh-”
“E-rated story!” Pinkie yelled at him.
“Whatever, I’m out!” he jumped off the ship and flew off using his dreadlocks as propellers.
Pinkie dropped the map down and she plopped down onto her stomach. Gliding her hooves across both ends she smoothed it out until the whole picture was visible. The map showed places other than Equestria.
“Labyrithia, The food islands, Hive-thorax-stan and the cross over triangle,” Pinkie read aloud the name of a few of the other countries she saw.
“No dimensional rift?” Pinkie looked up at Twilight from the map.
“Not this time apparently. Guess something worse is going to happen soon”
“So, we’re we going?” Twilight looked away from the wheel at glanced at the map Pinkie had. It had more than just Equestria on it. It was a bit surprising to see other places than a few cities and some hick towns.
“Twilight! Eyes on the road. We’re about to hit that inexplicably placed island with a rocky outer area!
“Wait wha-” The sound of the airship hitting the inexplicably placed island interrupted Twilight’s inquiry.
“Lazy bum!” Twilight yelled up at the sky.
“Who’re you yelling at?” Pinkie cocked her head and looked up at Twilight from the map.
“I thought you knew about them”
“Twilight, I thought you didn’t want another dimensional rip. I mean it’s fine. I’d be perfectly fine having the universe turn to chaos for a friend!” Pinkie gave her a toothy smile.
“No, forget it. Let’s just explore this place before we explode or something else as juvenile. Now how do I stop this thing?”
“”Hmm . . . I think you-”
KACHUNK!
When the ship hit the island it immediately upturned from the back and rocketed the two through the air
“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“I DON'T WANNA DIE! I DIDN'T READ ALL THE DARING DO BOOKS YET!
“Urrrrg, what happened?” Twilight woke up and marveled at how she lived to survive another day of torture. Taking a look at her surroundings she saw that she landed on a patch of dead tree leaves and was in the middle of the dense forest of tropical fauna. With a yawn she got up and noticed Pinkie Pie wasn’t with her.
“Pinkie?” she yelled into the bundles of trees. She wasn’t met with the any type of a response.
“Hopefully, I can find her” I don’t think living out the rest of my days alone would do well for my sanity . . . and neither is talking to myself” Twilight her temples and sat onto her haunches.
“Now if I were a party animal, where would the first place I go be?” she sat in silence pondering this thought. Until she heard some rustling in the bushes.
“That you Pinkie?”
“No, this is me” Pinkie answered from behind.
“Gah! Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to sneak up on you?”
“Mom had two rules. Don’t pick up rocks too heavy for you and not to put cracks in rocks”
“”Figures, let’s just go try to find some way to get off of here”
“So, what’s the plan?”
I’m . . . not sure yet”
“You’re the archetypal brain character. You have to know” Pinkie looked around.
“No rift again?”
“”Well, I guess the universe decided to stop overreacting to stuff like that
“Cool! Hold on I have some stuff to let out! This place wasn’t ever colonized despite a pegasus being easily able to find it. Hands. Sentence fragment I just done did.The conflict in this story is weak due to the author not taking it seriously. And Snoop Dogg memes are somehow acceptable as jokes”
“Well, that sums up most of my thoughts too. Now, let’s get on with this contrivance of a st-”
Twilight was slapped in the face by Pinkie Pie.
:What the heck Pinkie?”
“I didn’t do it. I think we just hurt the guy’s feelings”
“Who cares about that jerk’s feelings?” Twilight scoffed. Pinkie turned around and bucked Twilight.
“Ack!” she hit the ground and got a mouth full of dirt. After getting up she spat out the dirt?”
“You call this slapstick? I’ve experienced much worse in gore fanfictions!” suddenly they both heard a high pitched sound.
“What’s that?” Pinkie asked Twilight.
“I don’t know but-” Twilight looked up and saw an anvil “Why did I have to say slapstick?” The anvil landed on top of her head and fell onto the ground. Twilight hobbled left and right with a dazed expression on her face. After a few seconds of this she collapsed.
Pinkie sighed and pulled out a bucket of water. She poured water on to Twilight's face.
“Oww . . . What happened?” she rubbed her head and winced.
“Let’s just say you had a not-so-happy accident”
After a few hours of walking they came upon a clearing.
“Glad to not have to look at palm trees anymore but, we’re still lost” Twilight looked around. It was just a place where the trees didn’t envelope. There were some tall grass but, nothing of note.
“I think we should set up camp here. What do you think?” Tiwilight turned to Pinkie and she shrugged.
“Wait, hold on. I’m a friggin’ alicorn” Twilight grabbed Pinkie and teleported both of them back to the castle.
“That was anticlimactic”
“Yeah no kidding. See you next week”
“Shouldn’t we discuss where to-” Pinkie was met by the castle door slamming in her face again.
“
