Disco Dancer

by Gowak

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Moondancer, Comedy, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7383

Being a god of Chaos is fun. Really fun. Alchemy-lab-filled-with-bubbles-and-foam fun. Unfortunately, it tends to make social skills and knowledge of proper interactions a little rusty. How does an god woo a mare? Well chaos lessons and Disco.

What happens when a draconequus Chaos Spirit tries to seduce a nerdy unicorn?

There are questions that are best left unasked and if asked, unsolved. Unfortunately, Equestria is the kind of place where these questions are not left ignored. Chaos and mild property destruction ensue.

Illustration by me.

Published 2016-08-13 09:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-13 09:10:01 UTC

Think of the shippers!

Discord was troubled.

His mind was full of junk. Literally. It was slowly but surely piling under his scalp which was now a few centimetres above his head. But more than his troubles, it was the fact that he was troubled that troubled him. For the first time in quite a long, mostly petrified, time, he was free and not under any threat whatsoever. Well mostly free, but such details were for nitpicking, stuck up, ponies with a violet scheme gone overboard.

No, he had no reason to be troubled. No reason at all. Yet he couldn't deny that something was bothering him. Maybe it had to do with that strange mare reading in the library the other side of town. Yes, maybe she had something to do with it. He should probably ask her. Or he could also just keep looking at her from afar.

Yep. That sounded like a fair plan. Foolproof.

"Discord?" said a nagging, purple-ish voice.

He didn't answer. The mare was arranging a bang. That seemed important.

"Discord," the voice insisted.

He was not allowed to take ponies' mouths anymore, but he had made promises about making his own ears disappear. He was strongly considering it. Wait... maybe he could send them to the library and...

"Discord!"

The world suddenly became uniformly purple. Discord took off his goggles to clean them of whatever had come on them, only to see a lavender alicorn standing in front of him, with an annoyed expression on her face.

"Twilight?" he asked, genuinely surprised. "What in Tartarus are you doing here?"

"Are you serious? You asked me to come and see you."

"I did?"

"Yes." she deadpanned. "Yesterday. During my potion preparation. And you still owe me a new laboratory."

"Oh come on Princess." he chuckled as two potions of chocolate brown and cream like liquids appeared above his head. "Chemistry is boring when everything goes well."- both the contents and the recipients of the potions poured above his head, forming a glass of chocolate milk -"Even you must know that..."

"That was not a reason to change my laboratory into a literal bubble bath," she retorted, way more calmly than she felt.

"Such little pleasures are best left unannounced."

He drank his chocolate milk of glass and sent the leftover milk flying behind him, right into the home of an unsuspecting family.

Twilight right hoof met her face in a fluid movement that showed her mastery of the discipline. This was the most predictable result of getting into an argument with the master of chaos... In the distance, two adult unicorns were losing a desperate battle against soap bubbles, while their foals laughed and jumped in and out of a growing mass of foam.

"Okay, since you obviously don't need me, I'll take my leave..." she let out with an exasperated sigh.

"Wait! Okay! -" Discord took a deep breath. "- Twilight... I need your help."

Twilight froze. Discord never rarely genuinely asked fo help. This could be another on of his pranks... but this could also be one of the few times the master of chaos really relied on her...

"What for?" she asked cautiously.

"Herm... Okay," he began, obviously nervous. "You're a mare, right?"

"Well, I identify as such, yes..."

"And you love books right? And magic?"

"Yes..." she answered cautiously still.

"And erm... let's say that you would have to seduce a mare who loves books how would you proceed?"

Twilight brain froze, rebooted, encountered another unexpected error, rebooted again then tried to process what was happening.

"Are you coming onto me?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous!" he rejected. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Gee... I don't know..." she said, rolling her eyes. "Maybe it would help if you explained things to me. You know? So I don't come to that kind of frightening conclusion?"

"Okay, let's say there's a mare that I find kinda interesting and..."

"Wait, what mare? Who's she?"

"I don't know her name! I never even talked to her! But that's not the problem she's..."

"But can you at least tell me what she's like?" the alicorn insisted.

"I don't know much! I've only seen her from afar!"

"Well, what can you tell me about her?"

The draconequus sighed. "Unicorn, mare, her fur the colour of perfectly prepared custard with a cutie mark in the form of a moon crescent completed with stars, gorgeous purple eyes that are constantly focused on books about magic, unkempt eyebrows, cute glasses, broken in the middle, that are kept together with some duct tape, always wear a dark sweater and the most chaotic fiery mane with purple bangs, attached with some kind of pearls thingy. See? I didn't have the time to see much."

It took a moment for Twilight to connect the dots, mainly due to the incongruity of the situation, but she somehow managed it. After seconds of silent work, the cogs in her mind finally clicked.

"Wait... Moondancer?" she exclaimed. "You've fallen for Moondancer?"

"Moondancer? Is that her name?" Discord asked eagerly before stopping himself, realising that he was showing way too much interest in front of Twilight. He cleared his throat and watched the back of his paw in a comical attempt to look as disinterested as possible. "Well it's not as good as Stary Moonflank, but I guess it'll do..." he commented, with a calmer tone.

Twilight stood speechless. She hesitated a full 2,3 milliseconds, but her integrity and will to help a friend (albeit an obnoxiously annoying one) was no match to the memory of a chemistry room full of foam. A smile crept up her face. There was a very promising opportunity here.

"I would help you, but I am so terribly busy with my duty as a Princess... not to mention cleaning my laboratory... and those random chaos occurrences, which seem to happen during my most crucial experiments... so many things to do..."

The situation hit him like a cold shower. Literally. A bucket of cold water appeared spontaneously above his head, pouring its content on him. "You wouldn't dare to bargain on my love life?" the chaos spirit said, dumbfounded. "Come on Twilight you wouldn't let me hang out to dry?" he added as he snapped a hair dryer out of thin air.

"Me? I would never..." the alicorn answered with her most innocent smile.

"I'm telling Fluttershy!"

"You mean that she already knows you're the one who switched her bird seeds for coffee beans last month?"

"... Are you sure you're not Chrysalis?"

Twilight grinned.

"Does Pinkie know this side of you?" he tried, using his last joker.

Twilight's grin intensified.

Discord sighed. This was already less fun than he'd thought it would be. He almost considered leaving Twilight outside of it, but strips of purple mane surrounded by a sea of orange hair dissuaded him.

"Alright..." he sighed, resigned, "what do you want?"

★☽★☾★

There was a section rarely used in Canterlot public library. One topic so rarely researched, only the oldest and most knowledgeable of librarians knew what it was about. It was the perfect hideout, for ponies having sudden urges to "further their knowledge in anatomy", and draconequi. Today it was occupied by an emotionally unstable version of the latter.

Discord's mood was a mix of indignation, impatience and apprehension. His negotiations with Twilight had not gone well. And that was a euphemism. She had produced a binding contract that forced him to practice "planned chaos". PLANNED CHAOS. This was the most ridiculous, nonsensical concept he had ever heard, and HE was the master of ridiculous nonsense! He was supposed to give a one week notice before any chaotic outburst inside Twilight's castle. A WEEK NOTICE!

He would have a serious discussion with Pinkie Pie about how her marefriend used her power. A metres-long list appeared in front of him. The Chimaera took a quill from behind his ear and scribbled "Denounce the purple jerk to her pink marefriend" right between "Find a flaw in the binding contract" and "Convince Pink Prankster to prank Blackmail Princess all week".

But before that, he had a mare to impress. (Indeed, a few items before in his list was "Convince Moondancer you'd be the perfect draconequus in her life"). Twilight had given him some advice to make sure he had good chances in this endeavour. That and some little information on the mare. Nothing too creepy, just the basic he could reasonably be expected to know. Like her name, that she had been a student in Celestia's little unicorn school, that she loved books and was a talented magic user. Well, he could have guessed all this already... However, he had learned that she was not adverse to romance, that she was currently single (at least as far as Purple Jerk knew) and that, at some point, she had dated a griffon, so she could consider dating a draconequus. Before that, though, he would test the waters in his unicorn form. Just to be sure.

There was no way such a handsome, powerful, funny, godlike entity like him would be rejected... But... It never hurts to take a few precautions. Some individuals would ask themselves silly question such as "What if she doesn't like me?" or "What if she isn't into draconequi?" or even "What if she is into draconequi, but I'm still not good enough?". But that was for lesser beings. He was Discord!

But a little prudence never hurt anyone.

With a snap of his finger, Discord changed from his elongated serpentine form to the one of a grey-maned unicorn. Discord checked his new body for any missing part. First head? Here. Second head? Not here. Four hooves? Here. So far so good. Draconequus tail? Here. Cutie mark? Not here.

Wait... There's been some kind of mismatch here...

He was about change that when hurried hoofsteps came closer to his hiding spot. He went further into the shelves while he tried to convince his magic to cooperate.

★☾★☽★

Moondancer was excited.

Her mane and tail were even more of a mess than usual and her sweatshirt was struggling to stay in place. But she didn't care, or rather, she cared even less than usual. For the first time in days, her detection spell had worked. The magical phenomenon had surged again, and this time close enough for her to have a clear location. The phenomenon was here! In the library! This time she had a chance to catch it!

Moondancer ran between the shelves, as silently as running hooves permitted. The familiar sections of the library slowly give way to more obscure topics that even her hadn't fully explored. Yet.

If her detection spell was true, the magical anomaly was located in the next section. With impatience, she leapt between the unfamiliar shelves.

What she found was... well it was really underwhelming. It was a grey unicorn, with a grey mane. Nothing out of the ordinary. The magical remnant of the phenomenon was dissipating in the air. She had missed it... again. But all may not be lost.

"Have you seen it?" she asked.

"Huh? Are you talking to me?" the stallion answered.

"Yes. Have you seen it?"

"Seen what?"

"The phenomenon." she enunciated slowly.

"Herm..."

Moondancer sighed. Of course, he had not seen it. For all she knew, the phenomenon could as well be invisible. There was no reason to harass that poor unicorn. Her disappointment didn't last, however. She gave a quick look to her surrounding, trying to determine her position in the library. It took her a while to translate the "cigaM soahC" sign into "Chaos Magic". The topic was unfamiliar... she didn't even know there were books on the subject. She quickly realised that she had, somehow, never set a hoof in this section of the library, which could mean only one thing: her "to borrow" list of books was growing. A (not so) comprehensive approach to Chaos Magic, The ways of Chaos, a non-euclidian reference, One hundred non-application of Chaos Magic... So. MANY. NEW. BOOKS!

Maybe she had not totally lost her time.

She extended her hoof toward the closest book, Rules and rudiments of Chaos by Spiky Shadow.

"I wouldn't recommend this one..."

The voice made her jump. She had already forgotten that she was not alone.

"Why is that?" she asked distractedly, her hoof still in the air, getting closer to its goal.

"Well, for a start, Spiky Shadow was a charlatan."- Moondancer caught the book -"I mean look at the title! There's 'Chaos' and 'rules' in the same sentence and it doesn't even say 'Chaos rules'"- Moondancer looked eagerly at the cover. -"But more importantly..."- Moondancer finally opened her prize. -"...it's booby trapped."

The words no sooner left his mouth that the pages of the book came alive. The paper folded furiously, as if in a hurry and flew out of the book. One after the other they left the hardback cover forming a rapidly growing flock of crane-like origamis turning furiously, above and around her. Moondancer watched the spectacle in awe. She was an avid practitioner of magic and, while not as gifted as other unicorns such as Twilight Sparkle, she could hold them a candle when it came to spell patterns. What she was seeing defied anything she'd ever witnessed. The pages were literally coming to life while staying for any intent and purpose, paper. It didn't make any sense and probably broke laws about magic that she didn't even consider before. Yet it worked. So engrossed she was in the spectacle that she didn't even hear the hardback cover fell on the ground. So much that she almost didn't realise the change in the flight pattern.

The pages dived on her like a swarm of papery wasps. They were on her in a fraction of a second. It took her a fraction of that to protect herself behind a magical shield.

The pages crashed on it like rain of pavement. Moondancer had a sigh of relief... The paper creatures "looked" at her with undecipherable intents. They probed her shield with their tiny corners like they would with hooves. The contacts made ripples on her shield and a small tingle in her horn. A totally unprecedented effect. This newly found magic was really interesting.

If only I had taken my notepad she castigated herself. This is ridiculously unprofessional Moondancer!

A small pinching sensation on her forehead interrupted her train of thought. The "pagelings" were starting to attack the barrier with increasing aggressiveness. The pinching sensation repeated itself. Then again. At some point, it stopped being individual feelings to become one dull headache. This was clearly not the kind of book-induced migraine she enjoyed.

A sudden snapping sound echoed. The attack stopped as suddenly as it had started. At first, she didn't understand why, but soon the answer didn't elude her long. The cover of the books that had laid down inert so far was now in the air, flapping its "pages" like a bird and catching back its rightful content. The "pagelings" had apparently decided that their freedom was worth more than picking on the unicorn. The book, pages and cover alike, flew around her for a moment before finally disappearing in the shelves.

"Are you okay?" the stallion inquired, concern evident in his voice.

She felt a little dizzy, and her horn hurt a little, but other than that, she was okay. "I'm fine..." she finally answered, popping the protective bubble. "Too bad you didn't let me deal with it, however. It will be harder to study it now..."

"Well, I thought you were in trouble so-"

"What? No" she interrupted him with a categorical, dismissive nod. "Though I admit for a moment I was worried I would have to be drastic... But one should never harm a book."

"I'm pretty sure that count as self-defense," he pointed out.

"Nonsense." she sentenced.

There were several seconds of awkward silence.

"Well, you did help me, so I suppose I should thank you."- she looked at him solemnly and nodded. -"Thank you."

The scene made the stallion chuckle. He answered with a smile, borderline on smirk, and a bow. "For such a beautiful mare, anytime."

Moondancer tilted her head in confusion. She carelessly dusted her clothes and replaced her glasses correctly on her face. A thought seemed to hit her at that moment. She turned toward the silent stallion, her left ear perked in interest. "What spell did you use, by the way?"

"Oh you know.." he eluded, avoiding her gaze. "A little zap of unicorn magic..."

"Nonsense." she sentenced again. "Whatever you used, it was pretty advanced. I doubt you would cast such a thing with 'a little zap of unicorn magic'."

Her attention was now fully on the stallion. She had never seen him in the library before. Grey unicorns were not that uncommon, but his cutie mark, a typhoon, was rather peculiar. Meteorological events were more common with pegasi. She'd have noticed that.

"Well..." He hesitated, scratching the back of his head. "Now that you mention it, it was not really a spell..."

"What do you mean?" she insisted, her curiosity getting more and more intense.

The stallion sighed, resigned. "It was Chaos magic. Let's just say it's my special talent."

Moondancer unconsciously leant closer to him, until they were barely hooves away. She was fixing him as if she could read his thoughts with enough concentration. Or force him to do her bidding by staring into his eyes. "Teach me."

The stallion stared back at her. The silent confrontation lasted a few seconds.

"I don't know..." he finally said. He theatrically put his hoof under his chin in a mock thinking pose. "Why would I do such a thing?" Moondancer opened her muzzle to defend her case, to tell him that she was a great student and a quick learner and that she'd do whatever it takes, but before any sound came out, the stallion turned back to her. "Oh well, you've convinced me! That's okay," he conceded.

Moondancer didn't try to understand the sudden shift in attitude from her new professor. With an ease born from habit, she cast a silence bubble then proceeded to celebrate by prancing around the grey unicorn. For some reason, the spectacle seemed funny to him, but she didn't care. She was about to learn about Chaos Magic!

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she finally said after a few circles. "My name's Moondancer."

The stallion chuckled, revealing an impressive-looking canine. She decided that she like that uniqueness.

"I'm Disco," he said with a toothy grin.

★☽★☾★

Days had passed in a blur of untamed magic. Moondancer had requested 'Disco''s presence every day until she could grasp the basics of it. A goal that, to Discord's surprise, she could very well be achieving in her lifetime. Maybe even before the end of the year. The mare had more affinity with the elusive magic that way more powerful ponies could wish to grasp in millennia. And he had fun too! Once he had passed that adorable too-serious-for-her-own-good, book-loving, magically-gifted, facade, Discord had found an almost childish and enthusiastic mare. An almost childish and enthusiastic mare who, with the right guidance was more than willing to unleash uncontrollable chaos on a massive scale! Well, more of a controlled and supervised chaos in a small room. It was a work in progress.

And even outside of the lessons, Disco and Moondancer had had very fun times together. They had more than once finished their sessions with some doughnuts and coffee at a local bakery.

To sum it up in five words: things were going pretty well.

Yet Discord was unsatisfied. Even his Tuesday tea with Fluttershy couldn't help it.

"Herm... a little bit of tea Twilight?" Fluttershy asked awkwardly.

"Thank you, Fluttershy." said the aforementioned and purple guest.

Somehow, purple princess was here too, and he could easily guess why. Discord sighed. The questions were coming in 3... 2... 1...

"So, Discord, how has it gone with Moondancer?" Twilight asked, cutting through a chase that had not even begun.

Discord merely grumbled and poured himself some more tea. The silence grew in the room. Twilight sent a pleading look at Fluttershy.

"I think we are out of tea," she said calmly. "I'll make some more. Discord, could you be a dear and make the conversation to our guest while I'm gone?"

The draconequus grumbled again.

"Discord?" She sent him a gentle but firm look.

"Yes, dear Fluttershy," he resigned himself. Damn my fatal weakness to her adorableness...

"Thank you so much."

She left without another word, taking the tea set and the now empty plate of crumpets.

Silence reigned in the room once more. This reign was short lived, overthrew by the wordy equivalent of a proletarian revolution.

"Come on Discord, I know I took advantage of you about it before, but I'm genuinely concerned. I know love is more in Cadance's alley but I like to think you're my friend. A chaotic, obnoxious, prankster spirit of a friend, but still, a friend. And Moondancer is also my friend. I just want to help you, not make fun of you or sabotage you. So let me help you if I can... please?"

The draconequus sipped his tea and finally talked, a small smile on his face. "You've been rehearsing this one isn't it?"

She put both her hooves close to each as if to say "a little". Discord smiled a little broader then sighed.

"Okay purple princess. You win."- Discord took a deep breath. -"Things have really gone very well with Moondancer. She's funny and interesting, and... well she's even more gorgeous up close. But it doesn't even matter because she's just so... how do kids this day say it... cool! We have a really great time studying chaos magic. I'm not sure she'll ever be able to use it, but she grasps it. I'm not sure you can understand. This is the first time since I've been encased in stone that I can talk to people about it! Really talk about it! She totally guesses it! She doesn't try to bend to her will, she just flows with it and tries to understand it! If only she could use it..."

"That seems really good," Twilight interrupted, fearing what this train of thought would bring, "then why so glum?"

Discord didn't answer.

"It's because of your species? Or appearance? If it's about your past, I can vouch for you!"

"No that's not it..." he dismissed with a wave of his paw.

"Then what?" Discord stayed silent and Twilight thought about it. It didn't take long for her neurones to connect. "You didn't tell her!"

Discord merely grumbled at that.

"You didn't, did you? Oh, Discord..."

"Well no I didn't and, for your information, I had very good reasons not to do so."

"Like what?" she answered, raising an eyebrow.

"Like the fact that we were having a pretty fun time and I didn't want to mess it up," he let out.

"That's the first time I see you being ashamed of your appearance. Or ashamed of anything for that matter," she teased him.

"I'm not ashamed!" If indignation had a face, one would reasonably mistake it for Discord's at that moment.

"Then why?"

The draconequus sighed again. "It's just... okay listen to me." His tone was uncharacteristically serious. This got Twilight unflinching attention. "I am very powerful. I can summon pretty much anything I want and even thing I don't want."- As a proof of that, he made a parasprite made of cotton candy appear next to his head with a snap of his claw. -"but friendship and... other stuff... I can't. Call that the shortcomings of disharmony. That's why Fluttershy made me change my mind so quickly the first time. That's why I cling to all of you despite the fact that you could turn me to stone at any time. That's why I support your aggressive purple theme. Because friends are... kinda hard to get, and even more to keep, for a chaos spirit."

"Oh..." there was an awkward pause. Twilight thought carefully about what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it. "You know... it doesn't have to be a win or lose situation. Quite the opposite in fact."

"A lose or win situation?" he asked, scratching his head. "I'm not sure that's very different..."

"No! I mean...Think of it this way. You can either win a friend or win a marefriend. You do not have to lose anything. Even if it's not what you want, you'd be satisfied with just being friend with her right?"

Discord pondered upon it for a full minute. White smoke started to get out of his ears and the noise of heavy cogs grinding against each other grew in the distance. Twilight smiled at the sight. It was nice to see Discord being Discord once again. Well, as long as he was not trashing any of her properties.

"You know what? You're right for once!" Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but Discord didn't let her the opportunity to do so. "I'm going to seduce that mare or die trying!"- he turned toward Twilight with a complicit glance. -"And by "die", I mean befriend her."

Discord took a deep breath and also a comically exaggerated hero-with-their-chest-out pose and walked out of the house.

"Toodles!" he said.

A snap of his claw later, he was gone. Fluttershy left the kitchen and sit beside Twilight.

"Did I do well?" the alicorn asked anxiously.

"Oh! Of course! You did perfectly Twilight." Fluttershy reassured her. "I tried to encourage him, but I guess he needed something else. Thank you for helping him..."

"Don't mention it," she said with a smile. "Or maybe do mention it when he's about to wreck havoc into the castle..."

★☾★☽★

Chaos classes (or Disco lessons as the stallion liked to call them) had quickly become one of Moondancer's favourite moment. The walk toward Twilight's old room had become very familiar and always too long for her taste. And it was not only because the topic was Ô so interesting (Chaos magic was unlike anything she'd seen or experimented on)... She had to admit that she loved the company as much as the lessons. The stallion was funny, witty, as random as the magic he used and yet, strangely wise. There was something about his attitude that let transpire that he had seen a great deal in his life. She never questioned him directly about it. Twilight had shown her the result of her work on Friendship, and boundaries seemed to be important.

So she'll hang out with him regularly until he felt comfortable enough to share a bit of his past with her. And at the same time, she'd learn about one of Equestria most elusive magic. Win-win-win.

The familiar sound of Disco's irregular hoofsteps broke her reverie. Without noticing it, the mare passed a hoof in her mane, somehow messing it even more. The stallion barged into the room, full of his usual enthusiasm. He came to her and took her hoof to kiss it.

"Moondancer, my dear, you look ravishing today!"

Moondancer smiled at that. If she was to believe him, she was ravishing every day. She appreciated the compliment none the less.

"Hello Disco," she greeted him with a smile. "Ready for our next lesson?"

"Alas! I cannot do that..." he said, putting his hoof on his forehead with all the intensity of a Canterlot drama actor. "I'm afraid... I'm afraid I have caught the most dreadful affliction! I am not sure I will have the strength to teach you!"

"What is it?" the mare inquired, worried. "Is there a cure? Can I help?"

"Funny that you'd ask! The only cure for this terrible, TERRIBLE, disease is a kiss from a beautiful mare."

Moondancer's expression shifted from worry to confusion, from confusion to blushing understanding and from blushing understanding to amusement.

"You almost got me here," she giggled.

"In more ways than one," he mumbled.

Moondancer tried not to pay attention. The stallion endless flirt was nothing serious. Right? "We should totally be a thing," he had said merely ten minutes into their first lesson. "Come on think of the shippers!". The mere memory was enough to bring a smile on her face. She chased the thought. It was not the first time it had invaded her mind and it would likely not be the last.

"I have something I want to show you!' she spouted, trying to distract herself from the invasive thoughts. "It's a project I have been working on for weeks now, and thanks to you, I made a decisive step in the right direction!"

"Oh? What a coincidence! Thanks to YOU I just came to the conclusion of a really important project of mine."

"Really?" She was smiling now. Somehow it felt good to know that their exchange had not been selfish. It made her strangely happy. "Show me!"

"Oh no! Ladies first!" he protested, somehow embarrassed.

"Okay!" she giggled. She looked a few seconds in her bag, until she found what she was looking for. A scroll, as long as she was high, tightly rolled and sealed. She eagerly unsealed it and spread it in front of her mentor who scratched his head in wonder.

"What is it?"

"This, dear Disco, is the most accurate detection spell ever created!"

"A detection spell?"

Moondancer began to prance and proceeded to explain, in an increasingly fast pace.

"Yes! I've been detecting abnormal patterns of magic all across Canterlot these recent days. I tried to pinpoint them and identify the phenomenon; you must remember the phenomenon I asked you about when we first met? All my previous attempts were enough to detect it, but my previous spell has proven very unreliable at best. But after a few classes, I understood why! It was not regular magic, answering to neatly ordered patterns! It was Chaos Magic! I was trying to catch air with a net instead of using a vacuum! And here it is! My ultimate detection spell!"

The stallion watched the fine lines engraved in the paper. The meticulously written curls of ink on the blank canvas, the circles and arabesques, the straight lines cutting through them and symbols directing the magic in the right direction. Moondancer swallowed nervously. She had checked, double checked and triple checked her spell to be sure everything was perfect, but her knowledge of chaos magic only covered the basics...

"Did... are those... are those lines animated by magic? Have you created an evolving spell?"

"I did!"

"You're awesome you know that?" he said matter-of-factly.

"I am!"

"Let's test this marvel!" he said, putting a pair of sunglasses on.

"Yes!"

Moondancer took a deep, calming, breath and gathered her magic. Her horn lit and magic slowly poured, following the pattern drawn for it. This was the first technical part. She had to put enough magic into the graph to animate it but not too much so the spell would not gain sentience and go rogue. Moondancer closed her eyes and focused on it. The lines started to move on their own, indolently, purposefully. Light now pierced even her closed eyes, proving her success. Her creation was alive and active and it was now sucking on her magic to sustain itself. This was the second technical part. She was to slowly shut down her magic, so the spell would feed on external bursts of chaos magic instead her own. Too fast and the spell would fail, too slow and it would drain her and probably knock her out. And she'd wake up with the headache of the century. It was hard, but she did it. When she opened her eyes, it was there, floating in the air, the purple diagram illuminated the room. It was everything she hoped, and even more. The spell was already picking up something! The phenomenon was active! And it was close! In fact, it was very close. In fact... it was here...

Moondancer slowly shifted her gaze from the spell to Disco.

The stallion was glowing, his features replaced by a kaleidoscope of colourful lights. Music came from an unseen source and under her incredulous eyes, he started to transform. His body started to levitate and spin. His body grew longer as two mismatched wings appeared on his back. Ribbons of magic surrounded him and formed a tight sailor top, completed with a blue skirt. His forehooves were next. He crossed them in front of his forehead as they became mismatched, changing into a claw and a paw. The same happened to his hind hooves, now a lizard and a goat leg. The last part of him to change was his head, which stayed pretty similar, save for the antler, the blue horn and the now apparent fang.

The transformation took an abrupt end with the previously-pony-now-draconequus taking a victorious pose as Moondancer's cutie mark appeared behind him.

"Tada!" he exclaimed. "Oh, sweet Chaos... You can't imagine how much I wanted to do that!" "Disco" chuckled, stretching to all its size. Moondancer didn't react. She wasn't really sure how to react. The phenomenon leant toward her, his face merely a few centimetres away. He was so close she could feel his breath on her face. "Hello? Equestria to Moon!" he said, waving his hand in front of her face. There was still no reaction. "I do hope you're positively stunned by my graceful appearance and not stuck in terror..."

"Disco?" Moondancer finally asked, confused.

"Oh! Right! I forgot to introduce myself! Well... reintroduce myself really. I am Discord."- the creature bowed -"Just like Disco, with a colourful dash of awesome. Glad to meet you in this form."

The draconequus produced a bouquet of roses which he presented to the mare. Moondancer instinctively took them. The smell distracted and appeased her. Strawberry and mango, her favourite doughnut flavour.

"What have you done to Disco?"

"Oh but nothing really!" he answered, still smiling. "I am him, and he is me."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh Moondancer," he chuckled, "You're way too intelligent for this kind of question."

The remark was enough to make her out of her stupor. Of course, it was him. Chaos Magic, his close proximity to the phenomenon the first time they met, his strange knowledge of past event... There was a million question bubbling in her head, but one came out before all the other. "You lied to me?"

"I would never! Wait... does pretending to be somepony else and omission count as a lie?"

"In that case yes."

"Poo!" The draconequus sighed. "Okay I may have lied to you, but I swear I had no bad intention! Not even mischievous one!"

"What were your intention then?" She was still unsure if she trusted him.

"Herm. Romantic ones?"

It took a moment for Moondancer to connect the dots, mainly due to the incongruity of the situation, but she somehow managed it. After second of silent work, the cogs in her mind finally clicked.

"You were trying to seduce me?" she asked incredulously.

"You know, I thought that part was pretty obvious..."

Moondancer blushed slightly, at the thought of all the innocent compliments that were maybe not so innocent. Then she blushed a lot more. "But why the disguise?" she asked, trying to mask her embarrassment.

"Well... I wasn't sure you'd date... you know"- he showed his mismatched body -"this."

"Nonsense," she sentenced. "You're a splendid specimen of draconequus," she started to enumerate, "you're funny, clever and a surprisingly good teacher, even though your methods are really convoluted, to say the least. No. I am more disappointed by your lack of trust. We were supposed to be friends! Furthermore, most studies show that a few exceptions aside, trust build better relationships. And you should know me well enough now, to know that I have a soft spot for the uncommon. "

"Huh..."

"What do you have to say for yourself Discord?"

"Okay, for what it's worth, I'm not really good at this," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I'm usually more of a comic relief, not a romantic interest, so..."- Discord cleared his throat and took a deep breath. -"Let's get together Moondancer! Come on! Think of the ship! We could be Disco Moon!"

The mare stared at him unphased. Then she smiled. "I think Disco Dancer sounds better."

The draconequus fixed her intensely and smiled broadly. "I think I'm in love. Wait... does that mean you accept?"

"Of course. I mean we obviously have a nice connexion and learning exotic magic one on one with coffee and doughnuts? That totally count as dating in my book." She stopped on her track as the sudden realisation hit her. "Oh no! That mean that we have been dating for more than a week now and I was the only one to choose what we'd do?"

"Oh, I don't mind. It was quite nice to watch you wrapping your lovely head around my magic."- Moondancer blushed again. These compliments didn't have the same effect all of the sudden. -"And there were also the doughnuts remember?"

"Still! I can't hog all the dating plans! That doesn't seem fair!"

"I really-"

"No, I insist! Today we do what you want."

"Well, I... -" Discord suddenly shut up. A bright lighting bulb appeared above his head and a mischievous smile slowly grew on his face. "- You know what? Maybe there's something we could do..."

★☽★☾★

Princess Twilight Sparkle should have been angry. Her castle was full of custard creatures. Full of custard creatures who were leaving trails of sweet cream everywhere. But after a few years in Ponyville, one learned to relativise. Hideous hybridisation of a wasp and a bear? Obviously dangerous. Cute flying creatures with oversized eyes, uncontrollable appetite and incredibly fast reproductive system? Deviously dangerous. Food brought to life by insane methods of cooking or magic went overboard? Annoying at best.

Almost distractedly, Twilight zapped the 'creamonsters' one after the other while progressing into the castle. They disappeared with a wet 'plop' and a small sugary explosion. Twilight then proceeded to clean off the resulting mess with another spell.

Eliminating, cleaning. Eliminating, cleaning. Eliminating, cleaning. She repeated the process, again and again, progressing in her castle, room after room. It took her a few minutes to reach the thrones' room. There, she stumbled upon a very strange, yet oddly expectable, spectacle.

Right in the centre of the room, atop the central table, was a Pinkie Pie, trapped, pinned under an impressive amount of animated custard. Trapped but not too unhappy about her fate. If Twilight interpreted the signs correctly, she had apparently fended off several creatures, which had led at some point to her capture and immobilisation. And by fending off, it was meant that she had eaten them. Right now, she was still trying to devour her captors, or at least, to negotiate their surrendering. Fortunately for the foodlings, even Pinkie's tongue had a maximum reach. With a smile, Twilight zapped the creatures, freeing the pink pony.

"Twilight!" the earth mare shouted enthusiastically, rolling on her back to better see the alicorn.

"Hello, Pinkie." Twilight grinned, getting closer. "You have a little something... everywhere in fact."

"Oh! Let me get rid of it."

In an anatomically impossible feat, Pinkie proceeded to clean herself up, in one lick, entirely.

"Wait... why didn't you do that earlier?"

"Huh... Hum... I wanted to be saved by a princess?" she tried with a sheepish smile.

Twilight's smile grew wider and warmer. "You missed a spot."

"Really? Where?"

"Here," she said.

She then leant for a peck on her lips. Pinkie giggled, got on her hooves, then proceeded to get off the table.

"Is that your doing?" Twilight asked calmly.

"Nopper," the pink mare giggled, placing her hoof on her too serious marefriend muzzle. "Discord's in your magic laboratory," she added as if it explained everything. Well duh! It totally does.*

Twilight sighed tiredly. Why can't he just take an appointment like everypony? she thought, knowing full well the answer to the question. We had a DEAL. He better has a good excuse. "Okay. I'll be going then."

"Take your time!" Pinkie Pie said distractedly. She then started to glare at the jellymentals outside the room, unaware of the vicious predator once again free. The pink terror chose a target, flexed her forehooves, wiggled her flank then jumped out of the room.

Twilight watched the spectacle, shook her head in amused disbelief then proceeded to meet Discord.

Twilight found him in her lab, just as Pinkie had told her. The draconequus was in the middle of the room, sporting a frilly, pink, "kiss the cook" apron and a tuque. In his paw was a mixing bowl full of yellow cream, while in his claw was a whisk which he used furiously, yet distractedly, on the cream, splashing the ground, walls, furniture or, to Twilight cringing horror, books.

"Oh! Hey Twilight!" he said happily, waving his claw at her while the whisk continued its messy business.

Twilight said nothing. Instead, she took a document from her mane and put it into his face with her magic. "We had a deal," she simply stated.

"Yes, indeed. And you'll find that I had respected every part of the contract."

Twilight hoof found her face. "How?"

"Well, I told you more than a week ago that I had started chaos lessons with Moondancer. And you told her several months ago that she was welcome to conduct experiments in your laboratory. So this means that Moondancer testing the limits of my chaos magic during our chaos lessons inside your castle is part of our agreement."

"This require Moondancer's presence to work."

Discord smile grew wide enough to compete against Pinkie's best. "You mean her?"

The troublemaker moved aside. Behind him Moondancer was laid on the ground, a huge afro on her head, a white disco suit and several books in front of her. The animated cream was surrounding her, watching her work like curious pets. Regularly she would get one of them in her magical grasp, analyse it, put it back, then scribble furiously on her notepad. After a few times doing that, she finally noticed the princess.

"Oh! Hey Twilight!" she said, totally oblivious to her current costume.

"Hey..."

"Thank you so much for your invitation! This room is perfect for chaos magic studying."

The hoof reacquainted with the face. Then the other forehoof joined it. And two wings, for good measure. I need rest, she thought tiredly. Far, far away from Ponyville. I think I sense a Friendship problem in the Crystal Kingdom. I should totally go and check on it. Pinkie's presence is absolutely needed.

"I want everything cleaned up when I come back," she said, leaving the room. Discord chuckled softly.

"Having fun?" Moondancer asked with a timid smile.

"The time of my life, my dear!"

★☾★☽★

The night was young and peaceful. The few clouds above Ponyville were flirting with the moon. This is probably why Discord was changing their shape into draconequus. Fluttershy would surely scold him on the work "those nice pegasi were doing" and how he should "respect that and let the clouds alone". But the smile, and slight blush, on Moondancer's face, were worth the trouble.

"Having fun?" he asked while snapping another cloud in his form.

"The time of my life," she answered.

"Glad to hear it." Discord slowly wrapped around Moondancer, protecting her from the rising night wind.

"Oh my," she giggled, "You're really spoiling me!"

"For you," he said, getting closer to her "I'd change the moon into a Disco ball."

She chuckled softly and kissed him. "I'd love to see that."

__________

__________

* Hey! Don't do that!
Come on silly! Don't be a meany!
*Sigh*

Author's Note

A little fluff I wrote after a friend gave me the inspiration (and motivation) to write it. ~~Also the name of the ship was so funny I couldn't resist.~~

Funny story : I had to rewrite some parts of it from memory because I accidentally erased the corrected version and put my draft instead...

Illustration coming.