“Oh my gosh, this coffee is fantastic. Where did you get this stuff from?” Rainbow Dash asked as she saluted Pinkie with the brim of her Wonderbolt’s coffee cup.
Considering that this was a tea party Rainbow Dash was being a bit of a black sheep. She was the only one drinking coffee among her friends. As the rest of them had selected one of the teas supplied for by their host.
Pinkie smiled wide as she replied. “Maud sent it to me. She got it from her latest rock collecting expedition in Canterda. The brand is Tim Hooftens.”
The host of today’s tea party was none other than Pinkie Pie. She was the usual choice as her tea parties did a good job of appeasing everypony present. She had a wide selection of teas to drink and cucumber sandwiches to eat for those who were into more traditional tea parties. While at the same time offering coffee and donuts for the more radical guests.
Today’s spread was incredibly diverse. There were a dozen different types of teas, a pot of coffee, a pitcher of lemonade, sandwiches, donuts, dainties, scones, and two giant bowls of candy. The candy was divided between gummy bears, and worms.
Rarity took a sip of her tea before looking at Applejack. “Speaking of trips, I was thinking of our last visit to the spa.”
Applejack was in the middle of munching on a cream filled donut, which she swallowed noisily before replying. “Oh and what were ya thinking about?”
Rarity levitated a napkin up to Applejack’s cheek wiping away a smudge of white cream left behind by the donut. “Well actually it had to do with the little problem me and Twilight helped you solve.”
Applejack cocked an eyebrow, “oh?”
Rarity nodded. “Yes I was thinking about why you would possibly own pigs.”
Twilight nodded as she munched on a gummy bear, tearing off the poor creature’s head. “I was actually wondering the same thing. I mean cows give milk, but pigs? What do pigs do?”.
Rainbow scoffed. “Come on guys, are you really that dumb?”
Rarity gave Dash a look. “Excuse me?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “She sells them for meat. I mean we have all met gryphons before right? They eat meat. I mean Fluttershy, you remember Gilda in flight school?”
Fluttershy was in the middle of sipping her tea as her name was called. She jerked up and looked at Rainbow, giving her a curt nod. “Yes, I remember she used to get special meals.” She then added with a grumble. “I also remember how she used to chew them up and then stick out her tongue.”
Rainbow laughed. “Oh man I remember that. Gilda was pretty awesome back in flight school.” She paused for a moment. “But yeah, Gilda used to get meals with meat. I mean its natural guys, some of us eat grass, some of us eat meat.”
Applejack pitched in. “They’re actually telling the truth. I do sell most of my pork products to meat eaters. I even sell some to Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy smiled nervously. “Its for my pets. Mister bear has to eat meat, its in his nature.”
Rarity nodded. “So all of your pigs are used for meat?”
Applejack shook her head. “No, they have other uses.”
“Like what?” Rarity asked.
Fluttershy nibbled on the edge of a cucumber sandwich. “Maybe they can be used to find truffles?”
Pinkie laughed. “Truffles? Like chocolate?”
Twilight rolled her eyes and smiled. “No, truffles are little mushrooms that are extremely rare. They are found in the woods.”
Applejack nodded. “Also true, though I don’t actually do any of that stuff myself. My cousin Apple Juice has a side business like that though.”
Rarity snuck one of the gummy worms, taking a bite off of its tail. When the attention turned to her she slid it strategically behind her cup of tea, not wanting to seem uncouth. “I am also guessing you can use them as leather.”
Fluttershy gasped. “Rarity, you would never use leather, would you?”
Rarity shook her head. “No I would never do that darling. However, I am not blind to other ponies’ developments in the fashion industry.”
Fluttershy looked like she was going to be ill. The mare had far too much compassion for animals and the mere idea of them being slaughtered so some fancy pants pony could have a new gown was to much for her to handle.
Rainbow snorted. “I know there are some weirdos out there who wear leather chaps.”
Twilight smirked. “Says the mare who wears a latex body suit at her day job.”
Rainbow shot Twilight a glare. “It’s spandex.”
Applejack took a sip of lemonade before answering Rarity’s question. “I mean I am sure there are some ponies who want pig leather. That ain’t where my pig skin goes though.”
Rarity’s eyebrow rose. “Then where does it go?”
“Trash disposal.” Twilight blurted out, causing all her friends to stare at her. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. I just remembered that you can use them for trash disposal. I mean you had me feeding the pigs table scraps. That’s a pretty useful feature. Oh and I guess they can also help fertilize the fields.”
Applejack smirked. “Well its about time that a princess got in touch with the Earthpony side of being an alicorn. Those are all nice bonuses, but its not really the features you can make a profit on. I mean I am a business mare, so in the end when I raise one of the pigs I do so with money in mind.”’
Fluttershy gulped. “Isn’t that a bit unethical? You know thinking of them as a product.”
Applejack sighed. “I mean it ain’t the best way to look at it, but they are a good source of bits. They’ve helped the farm weather a couple of storms if I am going to be honest.” Noticing Fluttershy’s discomfort Applejack offered her a warm smile, “We can change the topic if it makes you uncomfortable sugarcube?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Thank you very much.”
Applejack was about to say something before Rarity interrupted her. “Wait, wait, wait darling, where does the skin go?”
Fluttershy let out a soft huff before Pinkie burst out nice and loud. “It’s in candy.”
Everypony turned to face Pinkie Pie before they all broke down into a giggling fit.
“Yeah right, like they put pig into candy.” Rainbow Dash said, grinning from ear to ear.
Rarity contained herself to a few short giggles before looking at Applejack. “Ok but really where does the skin go?”
Applejack however, was not laughing at all. Instead she was smiling nervously. “Um Pinkie was actually telling the truth. They do go into candies.”
Everypony besides Applejack and Pinkie went pale as they stared at the two giant bowls on the table. The bowls which they had all eaten from. Heck, most of them had a couple colourful bears resting on their small side plates.
Rarity gulped, her magic wavering to the point that she needed to place her teacup down. “What type of candy?”
Applejack looked at the table. “I should probably just keep my trap shut.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, no, please let us know. Was it something we just ate?”
Applejack sighed. “Pig by-products do go into gelatin candies.”
“Gelatin?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Pinkie grinned. “Gelatin is in gummy worms, gummy bears, gummy manticores, gummy ponies, gummy alligators. I mean not my alligator gummy, but…...”
Rarity held up a hoof, her vision fixed on the bowl before her. “We get the message darling.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, that can’t be true. That just can’t be true. Just give me a second too.”
Twilight was gone in a flash as she magically teleported herself somewhere else. A silence fell upon the room as the five remaining friends all stared awkwardly at one and other.
Rainbow chuckled. “So uh how about those Wonderbolts?”
Twilight reappeared moments later with a book levitating before her snout. She looked completely frazzled.
“You weren’t lying!” Twilight shouted.
Applejack laughed nervously. “Element of Honesty, Twi.”
“I know, I know. I was just hoping you were lying.” She sighed and tossed the book onto the table before sitting down. The cover read ‘1001 Industrial Products’.
Fluttershy was frozen as she stared at the bowl, her breath coming in shallow bursts. “How much pig?” She said in a meek voice.
Twilight sighed. “You don’t want to know.”
Fluttershy held up a hoof. “Yes I do. How much?”
Twilight groaned. “Gelatin is made of three separate pork by-products, which make up ninety-nine percent of the substance.”
Fluttershy dropped her hoof before replying meekly, “oh.” She looked on the verge of tears, her whole form nearly motionless.
Applejack swallowed, hoping to defuse the situation. “I mean, when it says made from Sweet Apple Acres products on the bag it ain’t talking about the apple flavouring.”
Author's Note
I am so sorry to everyone who read this and lived in ignorant bliss until this point.
