The Transcredible Exploits of Flash Sentry

by HiddenMac

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Sex, Flash Sentry
Length: 5743

Flash Sentry travels Equestria with his faithful lieutenant Spike seeking glory and the love of Twilight Sparkle while in service to the head-in-a-jar President Celestia.

Flash Sentry has numerous adventures and exploits throughout Equestria that are more than incredible, they're Transcredible! He fights for country, glory, and the love of the enchantress Twilight Sparkle. He heroically battles against nefarious villains and peaceful enemies with his faithful and less capable lieutenant Spike, while earning the affections of countless mares. When Equestria is in danger, President Celestia calls upon the unflappable Flash Sentry! AROOOOO!

An alternate universe where many of the characters have hybrid personalities with those taken from Futurama. Each chapter is its own exploit.
Contains mild expletives and sexual references

Published 2016-07-05 13:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-05 13:10:01 UTC

Treats To Die For

"NYA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!"

Evil Chef Gustave twirled his old-timey villainous mustache while Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Apple Bloom sat helplessly tied to a chair. His nefarious plot involves poisoning the Princess of Friendship and her two friends for no reasonable purpose; and that purpose was to perpetuate evil. The captives struggle in their chairs, terrified, while Twilight kept a brave face in defiance of the dastardly, top-hatted and caped villain. Gustave, ever being the arrogant blaggard, continued to brag of the genius of his diabolical scheme.

"Once The Princess of Friendship is no more, I shall conquer all of Equestria with my poisonous pastries of peril! And no pony can stop me!" he raised his talons in premature triumph.

"Flash Sentry can stop you!" Twilight interrupts his maniacal laughter.

Gustave leans forward and points a ray gun at her head, even though the technology is far too advanced to be Equestrian. "Well, of course FLASH SENRTY can stop me! But he won't arrive in time before I finish this sent-"

"Ha-HAAA!" Flash Sentry kicks in the door to the room and poses in heroic fashion.

"Beep-boop-beep! It's Flash Sentry! Come to rescue us!" the now mechanical Rainbot Dash exclaims in monotone.

"My hero! He's so dreamy!" the tiny, red-maned Apple Bloom adds.

"Oh no! Flash Sentry! I shall surely be vanquished!" Gustave trembles in fear.

"That's right," Twilight grins at the villain, "for my love for Flash Sentry is so great that he can inexplicably find me without knowing where to start looking!"

Flash steps forward into the room, accompanied by his loyal yet useless assistant Spike. Our hero brandishes his own ray gun and points it at the cowardly villain. His heroic confidence is matched only by the fear of Gustave, the love of Twilight, and the admiration of her weak and forgettable friends. Flash is always victorious and this will surely get him another medal and promotion in rank to twenty-eight star General. He can already see the victory ceremony put on by President Celestia as waves of eager fillies throw themselves at Flash's hooves. But first, he must dispatch of this treacherous enemy.

"Surrender, Gustave Le BANNED!" his attempt to cleverly mock the villain's name draws snickers from the captives, "or I shall be forced to shoot!"

"Very well," Gustave drops his weapon, knowing he is no match for the overwhelmingly masculine hero, "I surrender! Please don't hurt me!" He kicks the weapon away and raises his talons in submission.

"I triumph again!" Flash exclaims, "and now that you are defenseless..." He fires his ray gun at Gustave, who instantly disintegrates into a pile of ash. "They'll now be calling him Gustave Le CANNED!" Flash twirls around his weapon before holstering it and striking another heroic pose. "Another courageous battle narrowly won by the indefeatable Flash Sentry!"

"Our hero!" the captives cheer in unison.

"Spike! Be of some use and untie the prisoners! Starting with the sultry Twilight!" Flash winks at Twilight who blushes profusely at her gallant hero.

The weak and tiny dragon comically trips and stumbles about before finally reaching Twilight. Once untied, Twilight jumps into Flash Sentry's embrace and gives our hero a romantic kiss on the lips. The feeble Spike proceeds to untie the other two less important captives.

"Spike!" Flash gives one final order, "inform the rest of the soldiers: I will be having relations tonight!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!"

The black and white illusion disappears as Twilight protests Flash's absurd story to the guards. She was having a pleasant picnic with her five closest friends at a table in the local park. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Big Mac, and Granny Smith also joined in the fun. Gustave Le Grand had even offered to bake some sweets and pastries during his visit to Ponyville. However, Flash Sentry has recently taken a much greater interest in Twilight and often attempts ridiculous displays to woo her. The authorities were now questioning Flash and all witnesses involved as to the assault on Gustave, who now lies against the picnic table with bandages wrapped around his head and being attended to by Applejack and Fluttershy. After her outburst, Twilight briefly summarizes the actual account of what happened.

"We were just having a nice picnic when Flash wanted to show off by sprinting into Gustave and knocking him down. Then he slapped the fruit tarts out of our hooves and claimed he saved our lives... before, once again, asking me out on a date." she was embarrassed to give that last statement.

"I DID save your lives!" Flash interjected. "Those tarts were poisoned! I heard him say so himself: Poison Berries!"

Twilight facehoofed at the idiocy of Flash, "Not Poisonberry; BOYSENberry! They were Boysenberry tarts!"

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash added. "And since when was I a robot?"

"Well, my boy, you've always seemed cold to me."

"BOY?!" Rainbow now grew upset at this accusation. "I'M NOT A BOY! I'M A FULL GROWN MARE!"

Flash appeared surprisingly relieved, like guilt had just been lifted off his back. "Really? Oh, thank Celestia! I thought I was attracted to another stallion; a sexy, seductive stallion!" Flash now started to rub his chest in small, pleasurable circles.

"Bite my magical rainbow ASS!" Dash approached closer before being restrained by Twilight. Not wanting to hear anymore of Flash's insults, Rainbow decided to leave the picnic with Scootaloo following behind. "C'mon Scoots, let's get out of here so you can tell me how great I am!"

"You are great, Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo genuinely admired.

"Shut up, baby! I know it!" Dash pimp-strutted away.

Flash flinched back as a disturbingly enthused and creepy pink pony jumped in front of him.

"Ooh! If Dash can be a robot, can I be something different too?!" Pinkie Pie eagerly requested.

"Uh, sure kid, what do you want? To be some sort of alien?"

"WOW! CAN I?! How 'bout one with lobster claws and a freaky tentacle face!" Pinkie bounced overly excited.

"Sure...whatever. Knock yourself out..." Flash brushed her off before turning his attention back to Twilight with a wink while bobbing his brow.

Pinkie made a perfect imitation of a crab scuttling away as she pretended herself to be the crustaceous alien. "Woop woop woop woop woop woop woop!"

"Well, what about Gustave? You said you vaporized him with some imaginary ray gun, yet there he is! How do you explain that?!" Twilight pointed to the very much alive Griffon.

"Simple," Flash boasted, "he got better!"

"But... you still attacked him!" Twilight huffed as the guards took down notes.

"Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll apologize!" Flash motioned his assistant Spike over to the griffon, "Spike! Go apologize!" After a silent moment, Flash looked around to see what was taking Spike so long. "Spike? SPIKE! Where in the name of velour are you?"

In this reality, Spike grew up in Canterlot before joining the guard as Flash Sentry's shy and nervous assistant. He had never seen such a cute and unapproachable pony as Rarity. His tiny dragon heart pounded in his chest as he couldn't take his eyes off the pony fashionista. He crept his way over to the injured Gustave while never taking his eyes off Rarity. Even while speaking to Gustave, he was really talking to Rarity.

"Um, uh, Hi..." Spike battled his nerves as he tried to keep his lunch down. "I just wanted, er, uh...that is, Flash just wanted to say... you're very sorry. NO, WAIT! I MEAN...pretty. No..." He stuttered and mumbled for a few moments before finally getting it right, "Flash is sorry and thinks you're very pretty!" he blushed and did his best to hide his face from the embarrassment.

Gustave looked at Rarity as he knew what the scared little dragon was trying to say. Rarity figured it out too but decided to tease the nervous lieutenant in a friendly way.

"Well spluh! Of course Flash would think Gustave is pretty, but what do you think about me?" she rested a hoof on his shoulder and batted her eyes as she flirted.

"Well, um...oh geez!" Spike continued sputtering, unable to control his words. His legs grew weak and his stomach would eventually get the better of him. He lost all control as the contents of his stomach were forced up out of his throat.

"BUUUURP!"

"SWEET SPLATTIN' OF MANEHATTEN" Applejack cried in shock of the eruption.

Spike vomited, but not his lunch, much to his relief. He vomited a surge of green flame as he spat fire at the infirmed Gustave. As if to add one final insult, Gustave's mustache became enflamed. The singed facial hair quickly cooled off as Spike apologized, but the griffon was having one lousy day.

"It's all right, darling. It was an accident," Rarity comforted the worried dragon. "I know you're a good little dragon; and you're so cute when you're nervous." She kissed him on the cheek. "Call me next time you're in town!"

Spike melted into the ground with a long and winding smile across his face as the cute unicorn trotted away to help Applejack and Fluttershy take Gustave to the local hospital. Sweetie Belle also decided to call it a day and left for home. The guards continued asking Twilight about the details of the incident.

"So...can anypony else corroborate your accusations, Miss?" the guard asked Twilight.

"Yes! Big Mac, you can back me up, right!" she looked over to the quiet, scruffy looking stallion.

"Second." was all he said while he leaned back and crossed his forelegs.

Twilight grinned and narrowed her eyes at Flash Sentry, thinking she finally had him. Flash had pursued Twilight ever since they first encountered each other and she gullibly fell for his act for a brief time. After her initial infatuation, which consisted of little more than smiling and blushing, she discovered his true arrogant and idiotic personality. It was a personality that somehow got him promoted to Captain, but his cowardice and incompetence usually sends wave after wave of his own troops to their untimely deaths while he takes credit for their sacrifice. Fortune often favors the fool, however, and Flash always manages to escape and often come out victorious.

"Oh yeah?" Flash rebutted to Twilight, "well, this scruffy looking pony, whose name I can't remember or care about, isn't smart enough to remember right! He probably saw what I said happened!"

"Second." scruffy Big Mac agreed again.

"There! You see? He's an imbecile!" Flash accused while pointing at Big Mac who sat reclined, staring into the sky while lost in his own thoughts.

The insult was not lost on Mac as he eventually contributed to the conversation, if only to defend his pride. "These insults wound my sensitive hubris! Woe is my tormented soul in this setting of unpleasantness."

Apple Bloom felt bad for her big brother, but also impressed that he expressed his true feelings so eloquently, even if it was only in monotone. She approached to comfort him, "that was beautiful, Big Mac. It's okay, we can take it from here, if you want."

Big Mac remained reclined as he picked up and read a dirty magazine, unconcerned with reading it in public. "Eeyup."

"And just like that, the moment's gone..." Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

"Good news, everypony!" Granny Smith blindly stepped forward, "it seems President Celestia will sort this whole thing out!" She pointed to the approaching head in a jar.

The monarch reigned a thousand years ago, but was recently reelected by a single vote. Though nobody could legally rule as long as she did, she got around that with the loophole that she technically no longer had a "body". Her proudest moment was taking the office once again with her brief inauguration speech of "LESTIE'S BA-A-A-ACK!"

Celestia approached being carried by her vice president, headless Luna. As always, she had an angry look on her face; she wondered why Flash had been gone so long. New events had emerged and she needed her star military commander to lead the charge.

"Sentry! What in blazes are you doing here! I need you to fight the pacifist sloths of the Hippie Forest!"

"Sorry, ma'am! These simple guards appear to be confused about how I heroically and selflessly saved the lives of these simple ponies...not to mention the sexy Twilight Sparkle!" Flash winked again at Twilight. Twilight groaned in disgust.

"AROOOOOO!" Celestia wailed in frustration, "get back to your troops; we have a war to win!" She turned her attention to the guards, "And you! Get back to work before I put you on the front lines under his command!"

The soldiers scattered as they knew that every mission under Flash Sentry's command was a suicide mission. Though shocked, Twilight should have known something like this would have happened; Flash always gets his way. Before she could protest, President Celestia was already on her way back to Canterlot being carried by the flying headless Luna. Mac continued reading his pornographic magazine and Granny Smith laughed maniacally while waving her forelegs about half-insane. The only consolation she had was the concerned look on Apple Bloom's face.

We now find our hero in bed; the voluptuous Twilight by his side. A satisfied smile stretches across her face while her eyes roll back in sexual bliss. Flash Sentry wraps one foreleg around her while smoking a cigar in the other, proud with his virile performance.

"So...was it as good for you as it was for Equestria?" he blows out a puff of smoke, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, Flash! Let's save Equestria again right now!" Twilight embraces the conquering stallion.

Flash snores loudly, his energy depleted from heroic battle and heroic-er lovemaking. Twilight pats him on the stomach as she rests her head on his chest.

And so, Gustave Le Can't has once again been defeated and the day once again saved by the once again heroic and brave Flash Sentry...once again! Treachery could not win this day; Flash has proven he is much too wily to be defeated by mere false accusations! For wherever there is villainy, wherever there are attractive fillies in nominal distress, wherever there are peaceful enemies waiting to be conquered, Flash Sentry shall be there to save the day!

Join us next time for more of...

The Transcredible Exploits Of Flash Sentry!

Author's Note

A quick introductory story to set the tone and identify which character is which.

These should all follow the format of dream/illusion sandwiching the actual events.

Give Me Liberty or Something Just as Good!

"Oh Flash! You're such a charmer!"

"Of course, baby! I blow the flute and all the snakes stand at attention!"

Flash Sentry twirled Twilight Sparkle as he led them in a seductive tango capturing the attention of every pony around them. Today was the Equestrian celebration for their national holiday; a day where every pony showed their patriotism and allegiance to their home country. The band hastened the tempo as Flash and Twilight took the spotlight in the center of the dance floor. Flash donned his military uniform with countless medals that earned the admiration of every spectator while Twilight wore a sultry red dress, tight in all the right places. The fillies in the surrounding crowd longed to be the one to dance with the dreamy captain but it was the lavender pony who was lucky enough to capture his attention this night.

"Flash, make me the luckiest mare in the world and kiss me!" Twilight begged.

"I'd like to..." Flash stood tall before dipping her in a romantic way, "...so I will." He took charge and went in for the kiss when suddenly a street vendor cart made it's way to the dance floor.

"Fresh Khlav Kalash! Get your Khlav Kalash!" the portly brown unicorn called, hoping to make a sale. In reality, it was just a ruse so that Coriander Cumin get close to the gallant Captain Sentry and surprise him with a sneak attack. He tipped over the cart and brandished an automatic rifle. "HA! Flash Sentry! I shall kill you now!"

Flash jumped in front of Twilight, protecting her like the brave hero he is. His face showed not fear, but confident defiance as he confronted this villainous foreigner. "Ah, Coriander Cumin. Once again, we meet for the first time!"

"Yes," Coriander aimed his rifle at our fearless hero, "but this time it shall be for the last time!"

The terrified Twilight Sparkle hid behind her stallion as she begged to know how they were going to get out of this. "Oh Flash! Whatever are we going to do? How will you save us this time?"

Flash narrowed his eyes as he formulated a plan in his head. The dashing hero jumped at the villain and

Coriander Cumin lay dying on the dance floor. All around him lie broken tables, chairs, and the bodies of ponies caught in the collateral crossfire. Twilight hung onto Flash Sentry's rear leg nearly naked, only the tattered remnants of her silky dress covered her most sensitive areas. Flash posed in heroic fashion while still wearing his clean pressed suit. In his death throws, Coriander made one last threat.

"You'll...never *cough cough* defeat me! I hid ...a...bo-o-omb!" he gasped his last as he died cursing Flash Sentry.

Twilight hugged the dashing hero, concerned at his last statement, "what do you think he meant by that?"

"Nothing we need worry about. Now where were we?" Flash pulled Twilight in as they shared the well deserved romantic kiss. Twilight swooned as she lifted her hind leg, overwhelmed by the masculinity of our hero. Flash explored everyinchof her...

Spike walked into Flash's quarters only to find his captain still dreaming and open-mouth kissing his pillow. He sighed in disgust as he knew he would be the one who would once again have to clean those drool soaked sheets. Flash continued squirming in his bed, lost in the erotica of his dream as Spike approached. He had just received orders from President Celestia telling him they were to oversee a terrorism threat in Ponyville.

"Sir..." Spike called, hoping to wake his superior. No response. Flash continued to slumber in his lightning bolt pajama onesie with the flank-flap open. Spike coughed as a small flame shot out and lightly scorched the exposed flank, which finally caused Flash to jump and turn to his subordinate. Spike pretended as nothing happened so that Flash would believe it was all in his mind.

"Spike!" Flash shrieked, "why in Tirek's backside did you wake me?!"

"We have orders, sir. President Celestia wants us to go to Ponyville. Apparently, somepony has made threats against the celebration."

"Ponyville, eh?" Flash raised a hoof to his chin as he pondered the implications. "That's where Twilight now lives!" He jumped out of bed, letting his onesie fall to the floor and exposing himself to the recoiling baby dragon. "Spike! I've made a decision: we are going to Ponyville!" he raised a hoof to strike another heroic pose.

"Good news, everypony!" the elderly Granny Smith walked toward the picnic table where Twilight Sparkle and her friends sat. "The Mayor has just told me that someone is threatening to blow up the party!"

"How is that good news, Granny?!" Twilight shot back, reviled at the statement.

"Because...she hired us to act as security! We are to observe and catch the culprit before he can do any damage."

The group looked around at each other in confusion. Normally they'd act on missions of friendship or, if that wasn't available, make a few deliveries to pay the bills. Most were unfamiliar with police work. Rainbow Dash was even known more as a thief and a felon; putting her behind a badge seemed more like ironic humor than a job opportunity. Rarity would be more concerned with the uniform or scratching a hoof than keeping an eye out for trouble. Applejack loved the law, but her favorite was definitely the bureaucratic side of it. They didn't even want to know what sort of trouble Pinkie could get into with a gun.

"And best of all..." Granny Smith continued, "we are reporting directly to Captain Flash Sentry!"

"Oh Tartarus!" Twilight cursed as she planted her face into her hoof, "not that egotist!"

"The environment is one of my greatest concerns!" Flash surprised her from behind, but what surprised her more was his response. With him being so thick-headed, he confused "ego" with "eco" and assumed Twilight was complimenting him. "I'm actually KING Ecotist! Right, Spike?!"

"UGH!" his assistant answered with his usual grunt while shaking his head. No matter how long he has served, Spike continually was surprised of how confident yet ignorant his captain was.

Flash leaned in and gave Twilight a few amorous nudges, "perhaps later we can discuss the continuation of species!" He bobbed his brow at Twilight a few times before she pulled free and walked away.

Spike noticed the white unicorn on the other side of the table. It was Rarity, the cute unicorn of whom he fell instantly smitten. She asked him to call her next time he came to town, but due to his severe shyness, he could only grunt and groan when he tried. Now fate had them working together to provide him with another chance.

"Um...hi, uh...Rarity..." he stumbled over his greeting.

"Hi sweetie!" Rarity cheered. "How come you never called me?"

"Well, uh, I did...or at least I tried. But I could never get the words out..." he nervously wrung his claws.

"That was you?!" she acted shocked, "I thought it was just some creep perving on the phone. If I knew it was you..."

"Spike!" Flash commanded, "enough chit-chat! We must unravel the tapestry our hidden enemy has woven in the...museum of... wrongness!" He flourished his hoof around as he tried to come up with a clever line.

The purple dragon sighed at hearing his captain once again attempt to show-off his bravery and fail completely. Worse, this meant he had to leave Rarity right when they began to converse.

"Don't worry, darling! I'll see you at the party." Rarity blew a kiss as the soldiers trotted away.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Rainbow Dash laughed at the thought of the fashionista unicorn hooking up with the tiny dragon. "You're really stringing him along, aren't ya?!" Rarity sneered back as she was genuinely intrigued by the kind, shy, and sweet officer. Dash realized that she wasn't joking around, "oh wait, you're serious! Let me laugh even harder: AH HA HA HA HA HAAAA!"

"This celebration better go off without a hitch!" President Celestia ordered, her jar being carried by her vice president. "This is an election year and I put too much time and effort ensuring my victory to have it undone by some drugged-up hippie communists looking to incite a revolution rather than getting a real job!"

"Not to worry, Ma'am! I'll catch this fiend before you know it! Even if I have to send wave after wave of my own ponies at it!" Flash reassured.

"AROOO-OO-OO-OO! You'd better!" Celestia threatened, "I'd no sooner lose this job than lose my pet phoenix Philomena!"

SQUAWK!

"SHUT UP, DAMN IT!!!" she roared to the fiery bird riding the back of Headless Luna.

"I assure you Ma'am, I have my best pony working on this... me!"

Flash guided her through setup. There was a stage where the orchestra and speakers would present in front of a sloping hill where all the guests could sit or lie down to enjoy the fireworks. On top of the hill was a picnic area where caterers would be brought in from all over Equestria and beyond to serve the citizens of Ponyville and distinguished guests. The entire location sat just a few minutes walk from the outskirts of the town.

Flash guided the group to the catering section. There he found a curious duo of exotic and foreign sounding unicorns speaking in a strange accent. It was a portly brown father and his beautiful and colorfully clad daughter. Flash ogled the graceful pointy-eared daughter while Celestia disgustedly remarked on the food.

"Well now, nothing screams 'long live Equestria' like having foreign food served by heavily accented immigrants!" Celestia sarcastically commented. She glanced over to Flash who was still staring at the exotic filly. "Flash! Inspect the help later! I have to prepare for my speech and Luna's getting cranky!"

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" the disembodied voice shrieked from the headless vice president.

"Of course, Ma'am!" Flash saluted. He outstretched his hoof leading away back toward Ponyville. Before he would follow, he turned back toward the frightened and insulted pair. "I've got my eye on you!" he threatened the rotund father before winking and acknowledging the daughter, "and if all goes well, I'll put more onto you!"

"I don't get it," Rainbow Dash complained as the festival commenced, "who are we looking for again?"

Twilight groaned as she once again had to explain it to her unconcerned friend, "I told you, a foreign unicorn; one we've never seen before."

It wasn't that Dash couldn't remember, it was that she didn't care. She wanted to be out burgling or committing petty crimes instead of having to be the one on the other side of the badge. So what if a few strangers got hurt; she had to be loyal to the only important one there is: herself! So now here she was wasting her time looking for some unicorn she'd more likely want to partner with than apprehend. She leaned back and reclined on a nearby bench while Twilight kept a lookout for any suspicious activity. Bored, she took out a hidden cigar and lit up while continuing to complain.

"Whatever, all you horn-heads look alike to me! Just wake me if anything interesting happens; like a riot... or impromptu cock fight."

"Why would a rooster fight break out here?" Twilight snapped, looking back at the relaxing pegasus.

"Hey, you'd be amazed at how often I can find those!"

While Twilight and Rainbow Dash overlooked from the hill, Pinkie and Rarity observed from among the crowds that were now forming as the fireworks would begin soon. Pinkie occasionally found herself just continually rolling down the hill having fun while Rarity mingled and remarked on some of the beautiful dresses being worn. Every so often, she'd catch Spike trying to sneak a peak and would reply with a smile or a wave while the dragon nervously panicked. Applejack and her scruffy brother served as communication by staying on radio and coordinating between the teams; well Applejack communicated while Big Mac read his dirty magazine. Flash maintained his arrogant presence and flirted with any filly willing to hear him out while his team kept an eye out for suspicious activity.

Overall, the night was turning out to be a great success. Ponies enjoyed mingling, sampling the food (even the foreign food), dancing to the orchestra, and preparing for the fireworks. It seemed the threat might have been for naught as the only thing left was the fireworks finale. Ponies gathered and sat on the hill in preparation for the luminous display. Many even made their way to the dance floor at the bottom of the hill just in front of the stage so they could share a romantic moment with their special somepony. This gave Flash Sentry an idea.

He called Twilight on her walkie-talkie and told her to meet him at the bottom of the hill as it was an emergency. Naturally, the serious-minded pony leapt from her position and sprinted down to see what problem she would be able to assist with. When she found Flash, he was standing beside the dance floor holding a rose in his mouth.

"What's the emergency, Flash?" she queried, looking around for the potential threat.

"The emergency," he seductively replied, "is that you have no date! I've come to rescue you from loneliness in the name of l'amour!"

Twilight rolled her eyes as she took a few steps back and plopped herself on a nearby chair. She folded her forelegs and scowled at the audacity of the clueless pegasus. "We're on duty Flash! And even if we weren't I STILL wouldn't dance with such a braindead, arrogant jerk like you!"

"Suit yourself, babe!" he responded trying to play it cool, "there are plenty of other fillies who'd like a piece of Flash! Or as I like to call myself: The Flasher!" He figured jealousy might get Twilight's heart racing; he quickly looked around and grabbed the closest nearby filly. "Like this one!" he pulled Saffron Masala from a group with whom she was conversing.

Saffron had been having a wonderful time at the celebration, apart from the earlier unpleasantness from President Celesta and Flash Sentry. But now the obnoxious captain forcefully pulled her away from mingling and trying to make new friends in this new land. She had no idea what he wanted or what he intended to do, so she instinctively cried out for help.

Her father, Coriander, heard the screams from the other side of the dance floor and hastened over to come to the rescue of his beloved daughter. "Put your hands off her," he screamed in broken Equestrian as he followed that up with a hurried, incoherent gibberish of his native language. Flash snapped his attention to this new threat as it marched angrily toward him. Not wanting to actually fight, he acted as if he found the suspected terrorist.

"He's making his move! NOW! NOW! NOW!" he screamed into his walkie-talkie as his team of security officers ambushed the confused unicorn.

Panic set in as ponies scattered in every direction attempting to flee the scene. The guards quickly tackled Coriander Cumin and held him down to restrain him while Saffron screamed, fearing for her father. The rest of the team rushed to help everypony escape, with the exception of Rainbow Dash, Big Mac and Applejack.

"Should we go help them?" Applejack looked back to her brother.

"Eeyup..." he replied, then flipped the page and continued reading from his dirty magazine.

Applejack stared for a moment, then turned back around and continued watching the scene from a safe distance. "You're right, we'll be more effective from up here."

The guards now dragged Coriander away from the stage area with Saffron and the rest of the security detail closely behind. The stage and surrounding hill area was now deserted as the guests fled to their homes or other areas of safety. The headless body of Vice President Luna flew in carrying The President, who wanted to see what all the commotion was about.

"Sentry! What's going on? Is this our perp?"

"Uh, yeah..." he lied, "Yes, Ma'am! I told you I'd find the culprit!"

"We don't know that!" Twilight interrupted. "All we know is that he rushed you after you grabbed his daughter!"

"Please, Twilight!" Flash attempted to reassure his President, "If there's one thing I know, it's how to get my stallion! This is our bomber! I mean, just LOOK at him! If that's not a terrorist, then I'm not the best, most handsome soldier in Equestria!"

KA-BOOM!!!

The nearby stage exploded in a ball of flames as empty chairs and instruments shot out into the deserted natural amphitheater. The explosion also caused the fireworks behind the stage to ignite and set off for the sky. From a safe distance, Flash Sentry and the surrounding group flinched as they instinctively ducked for cover. When the flames died down, a pink unicorn with a purple mane transported in front of the startled group.

"Ha haaaa! You could not stop the Militia of Equality! Soon, all of Equestria will follow the M-E!" Starlight Glimmer boasted before teleporting away.

The entire group scowled at Flash for his handling of the situation. All he could do was respond with and innocent and apologetic grin.

"FLASH, YOU IDIOT!" Celestia screamed, "it wasn't foreign terrorists, it was damn commies!"

"At least nopony got hurt..." he pleaded.

"Yes..." Celestia looked around and pondered the implications. "And nopony is around to prove what really happened..." The President formulated a political cover-up, a tactic she was used to, and put her plan into motion. "Sentry! Arrest this terrorist and charge him with attempting to blow up the festival! Let it be known that we stopped him from hurting anypony while under MY supervision! Unfortunately, you'll probably get another medal for this."

"You can't be serious! I'm innocent!" Coriander pleaded, "you just saw the REAL terrorist!"

"Maybe," Celestia explained, "but if ponies think I caught the one responsible, that will ensure my victory in the election! And nopony will believe a crazy foreigner; I've got this all wrapped up! AROOOOOO!"

"What about Twilight?" Saffron pointed out.

"One crazy pony; who cares! She'll just be another one of those conspiracy nuts and nopony will pay attention to her! And if you try anything, I'll throw you in jail beside him! Play nice, and I'll let him out once all this quiets down! Tartarus, I'll even pay you for your trouble and get you a three-hoof rating if you just play ball!" Celestia's offer was quite reasonable, by her standards. She knew they were innocent and couldn't afford having any more unwilling skeletons in her closet.

Both Saffron and Coriander quietly nodded, reluctantly agreeing with the terms they are forced with. The entire group quickly and quietly parts ways, leaving Twilight alone to figure out what just happened.

Flash Sentry danced with Twilight Sparkle under a sky of exploding fireworks; a romantic way to end the perfect mission. Once again, he had single-hoofidly stopped a devious terrorist plot from hurting countless innocent ponies and Equestria would show its appreciation, beginning with Twilight.

"Flash, you're so brave! That was amazing how you stopped that evil Coriander and saved everypony's lives" Twilight cooed while wrapping her forelegs around Flash's neck.

They spun around to face the other side, revealing Saffron Masala dancing in Flash's other foreleg.

"Yes, my father was an evil pony! But I can be evil in a different way; a way we shall all find out later tonight!" Saffron offered them both.

The three danced together under the colorful display of the fireworks, proud that the day was once again saved.

Join us next time for more of...

The Transcredible Exploits of Flash Sentry