My Best Friend, Stella

by Flammenwerfer

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Anthro, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Bat Pony, Comedy
Length: 323268

Fredrick and Stella decide to take their immeasurably strong friendship to the next level. Ultimately, they feel it would be little different than now... just more intimate. Are things really that simple?

Two weeks after Fredrick Himmelreich's arrival, he meets and befriends a Lunar Guard named Stella Sabre... a beautiful, cute-accented, and foul-mouthed batpony mare. Simply asking for directions is the start of a powerful, yet equally unlikely friendship between a sarcastic, stubborn, yet level-headed human, and a headstrong, fragile-tempered thestral guardsmare.

Such a friendship will prove bloated when both parties, as dense in their own rights as they are, wish to ford the next step in their relationship. It's a simple combination of experimentation, adventurousness, and ultimately trust and faith in one another...

...but are things truly that easy and straight-forward?

NOT A SEQUEL TO 'MY BEST FRIEND, LUNA' NOR ANYTHING ELSE. THERE IS NO REQUIRED READING.

Cover art done by the ever amazing Pusspuss. The FULL picture sourced to his DA.

Published 2016-06-24 21:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-23 20:37:21 UTC

3. Of Cunts and Crushes

Author's Note

Hey guys! Early update for you all, this time with more dialogue and introspection before we get into some more world building. We introduce a familiar character that some of you may know from the first 'My Best Friend.' Enjoy!

Also, I haven't been responding to comments as much as I normally do, and for that I apologize. I don't want to discourage other comments so expect me to respond and react when its called for again, like I fuggin' should!

3. Of Cunts and Crushes

[The Next Evening…]

If there was one place that Fredrick could find refuge at any hour of the night, it would be the chambers of Princess Luna, who resided just down the hall from him. Of course, this was not the only time he’d visit her, as the two would often have time together during the day ever since she opted for a schedule more in line with that of Princess Celestia. Regardless, her tendency to still be a night-owl made her the perfect pony to confide in when it came to late-night conversation and company. Often she would reciprocate and visit his room once in a while.

But her room was much larger than his, making it the more optimal location for their get-togethers.

So, there Fredrick lay on her enormous bed, arms folded behind his head as he gazed at the ceiling, which was masked by a rather realistic-looking spiral galaxy. Wearing a more casual t-shirt and shorts this time around, he quietly let his thoughts roam with impunity while his friend finished what she was doing. The dim-to-nonexistent lighting in the room, as Luna preferred it, was easy on the eyes and conducive to his mental ramblings.

Princess Luna, garbed in a casual, sky-blue sleeveless dress, sat at her desk and messily scribbled some notes down for her to revisit come the following day. Large bouts of silence between Fred and Luna were commonplace, and were always welcome, as a matter of fact. Fredrick considered Luna that one friend in which he could entrust his life with, but by the same token, could have just as good a time saying nothing as with speaking incessantly.

A strong friendship indeed.

Fredrick let his head fall to the right and look upon Luna still diligently working, catching a small glimpse of her powerful back and shoulders. He always had a thing for fit girls.

Jeez I’ve got good looking friends.

“Hey Luna?”

“Yes, Fredrick?” came her smooth reply without a hiccup in her momentum.

Her ethereal, midnight-blue, mane fluttered as majestically as ever about that familiar, nonexistent breeze… twinkling as if it was a true microcosm of the very night sky which she controlled. Fred had yet to run his hand through either hers or Celestia’s, but damn it he would at some point.

With exaggerated hopelessness, he simply asked:

“Where the hell do I go from here?”

Luna hummed softly before her equally soft, sweet reply came:

“Explain to me the issue, my dear?”

“Well, the shortest version of it is that I think I have a major crush on somepony… and I have no idea how the fuck I’m gonna go about it,” Fred reiterated.

Resting his eyes momentarily, he heard Luna delicately place her quill on her desk and giggle… giggle as if she was a high-school girl told a juicy bit of gossip.

She then pushed away from her workspace and swiveled around in her chair, revealing the soft features of her face. Opening his eyes and turning his head to face her, Fredrick noted the expert application of teal-blue eye-shadow to complement her identically teal eyes. The somewhat higher cheekbones of her face gave way to a slightly sharper chin than Celestia’s, but with a shorter muzzle. Her face—as blemish-less as her older sister’s—still always stunned him.

Fred found Luna incredibly gorgeous. He didn’t even wish to get started on the time she flipped her hair in its lifeless state.

She nearly had him at ‘fuuuuucking hell.’

“Is that so?” the Princess asked coyly, crossing one leg over the other and folding her arms under her chest.

This emphasized an already sizeable bust with modest cleavage to boot, and Fred was careful to only steal a single glance.

The left corner of Luna’s mouth turned up slightly, and she cocked her eyebrow. She then delivered her opinion on the matter smoothly and controlled:

“Of all the issues I felt you would face in your new home, I figured one of the last would be courting a mare. Your exotic nature already gives you, as you say, a leg up amongst the competition. Do elaborate.”

“Well, more specifically, she happens to be a lunar guard,” Fredrick revealed.

Luna tilted her head.

“Oh? Then perhaps I can be of assistance. Tell me more.”

Fredrick knew for a fact that Luna knew every guard in her force by name. How, he’d never know, but she would always talk about certain soldiers specifically as if the recollection was second nature to her. So, surely she’d know how to approach this.

“It’s Stella,” he said flatly.

Luna instantly hacked into her fist. After regaining her composure and clearing her throat, her level-headed, albeit rapid questioning of the obvious began.

“You fancy Stella Sabre?”

“Yes,” Fred replied with a resolute nod.

“The thestral?”

“Mhmm.”

“Your best friend?”

“Yup.”

“The one whom I just promoted to Lieutenant?”

“Oh yeah.”

“The batpony who could single-handedly convince an army to surrender with sheer force of lexicon?”

“That’s the one.”

“…Verily?”

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

Luna hummed thoughtfully, placing her hands behind her head and stretching her back and chest out as she undoubtedly formulated words of wisdom.

Again, Fredrick took little qualm with stealing a glance.

Uncrossing her legs, she leaned forward with another, final question.

“Tell me, Fredrick. Do you have a reinforced pelvis?”

The human blinked thrice.

“Ummm… no? That’s a weird question, why do you ask?”

Luna stood up and dismissively waved her hand at him.

“N-No reason, just an odd thought. At any rate, before we continue, would you like something to drink?” the Night Princess offered over her shoulder, sauntering over to her personal armoire.

She opened the doors to reveal a vast collection of wines, spirits, liquors, and pretty much anything Fredrick could ever want. Of course, he recognized none of the brand names so it would’ve been useless to say ‘Gray Goose martini’ or something of the sort. So, he opted for something easy.

“Uhhh, actually I’m not feeling alcohol. Got any soft drinks?”

Luna peered back into the bottled abyss.

“I have… lemon-lime, root beer—”

“Say no more, I’ll take a root beer please!”

The Princess nodded and produced a single bottle of Fred’s requested elixir. As for her, she hummed a gentle tune as she mixed herself a gin and tonic before rejoining her friend on the bed. There, the two sat on the edge, sipping their drinks in a small bout of silence while listening to the natural ambience of the outside, nocturnal world through Luna’s open balcony door.

After closing her eyes and taking a comforting sip, she exhaled and looked to Fredrick with a gentle smirk.

“So. You and Stella, hmm? Most unprecedented but after rationalizing it in my head for a few moments, I could see it working.”

Fred reoriented his body to face Luna more.

“Oh yeah?” he asked.

The alicorn nodded once.

“Yes. However, you will have your work cut out for you…” she began , then gestured to Fredrick with an open palm.

“She respects you, Fredrick. This I know for certain. There is a specific way in which anypony acts amongst their peers, as opposed to formal company. Stella often defies that prediction, as she has few qualms with treating friends with the same language she treats those she cares little for. In a way, that’s admirable.”

Fred averted his gaze slightly, considering her words. He then smirked sideways.

“Oh yeah? So what you’re saying… is that she hates everyone equally?”

Luna chuckled, applying some magic and rendering her mane lifeless and a lighter shade of blue. She ran her fingers through it to ensure order about her face and ears, and Fred could not help but notice how silky and smooth it appeared. He had to suppress an urge to grab a handful of it and see for himself.

Luna continued with the same, hybrid friendly-lecturing tone… and just a hint of a playful edge.

“I would not go so far as to say that, my dear human,” she said, blowing an errant lock of hair out of her face and itching the side of her muzzle momentarily.

She then sipped her drink again and lifted her right hand, palm up. Focusing some teal-colored magic with her horn (a concept Fred was still wrapping his head around) a plain, holographic silhouette representation of a batpony mare was birthed into existence above her palm. Fredrick reeled slightly at the materialization of the mysterious, magical thestral mare barely a foot tall, but still watched keenly… especially as the princess willed her creation to saunter in place.

Certain of having his attention, Luna continued with an almost prideful grin.

“Here stands a mare who was not born into a life of privilege, but nevertheless, came into a family with an extensive lineage of service to the crown. In fact, a distant relative of hers, also bearing the Sabre name, was a rather important pony in Equestrian military history,” she noted.

Fredrick observed that the hologram walked with the same charisma-laden amble, borderline sashay that Stella often employed.

“Huh… Stella’s told me some stuff about her personal life, and I’ve told her stuff in return. I figured she’d tell me more as we grew into a stronger friendship, or more,” he added with a more hopeful upturn of his voice on his last words.

“Worry not, I shall not divulge anything she would not wish anypony to know without her permission. I shall be quite vague,” Luna reassured him, then promptly continued.

“Here is a mare whose driving mission in life is to make a name for herself… to etch out a place in society that would make her—and her family—proud.”

The hologram ceased her walk and placed her right hand on her hip.

“She has little tolerance for the undisciplined, and her loyalty to her kin, and me, is unquestionable. She holds her head high and her virtues higher, but is not opposed to getting, as the young ones say, ‘down and dirty’ when the situation calls for it.”

The hologram faced Fredrick and crossed her arms, adopting an almost chiding stance.

Luna’s next words were laced with a noticeable increase in pride.

“This mare respects strength, perseverance, and has a fond spot for dark, vulgar humor… and is not above being, herself, the butt of the wit. She is a mare of impulsive spontaneity, yet one of order and meticulous precision. A mare with such contradictory traits would often confine themselves to insane asylums, but this one… this one finds solace in it. Her attitude feeds upon it and in so doing, has helped shape her into a certainly unorthodox and often much-too headstrong, yet dependable, rugged, and fierce catch of mare.”

To Fredrick’s surprise, the hologram held out her right hand and beckoned him towards her… to which he obliged, leaning in to be nearly at level with her.

Luna took this as her queue to move on.

“This, Fredrick, is a mare who has a deep respect for one who can find themselves in the darkest, most hopeless situations and claw their way into the light…” she began anew, then looked to him knowingly.

“…and create a new life for themselves. This mare is proud to stand by your side as your best friend, and would have it no other way. She wears that badge with honor.”

Her words sunk deeply into Fred’s head and permeated his thoughts as his eyes focused on the hologram, who struck several funny and often teasing poses. His face lit up (both from the light given off, and figuratively) when said hologram gave a single twirl and touched her ‘snout’ to his nose, as if nuzzling him.

“But…” Luna added. “Not all hope would be lost if you desire something more. She adores you for who you are. In our society, mares are more likely to make the initial move for more intimate relations than stallions. Use this to your advantage. Recall, Stella respects strength and tenacity. You clearly mesh well with her when it comes to humor, subtleties, and general personality; I’ve seen how you two interact.”

Fredrick flicked his eyes up at the lunar alicorn.

“You think so?” Fredrick asked. Extra reassurance never really hurt anyone.

“I know so,” Luna stated. “My advice is to simply go to her. Be yourself and naturally amble towards your goal. You may find that she may be more than open to what you seek.”

The hologram took her hand to her muzzle and appeared to giggle silently into it. She then blew Fredrick a kiss just before Luna cut off her magic.

And with that, the magical projection fizzled out of existence.

Fred sat back up with a much broader, more confident smile and overall complexion. He nodded to himself.

“Yeah… yeah okay!”

Luna raided her head imperiously.

“To conclude, do you truly fancy this mare, Stella? Are you absolutely sure about that?” she asked.

To Fredrick, this seemed like the most obvious question, and that Luna was just asking him for dramatic effect. But the lack of any jesting tone of voice from her actually sent him into a frenzy of thoughts. He was able to isolate a single one though, namely a certain foul-mouthed batpony mare. Attaching her face to the plain magical projection that Luna had shown him, his stomach reacted immediately in the form of butterflies. Next were his lips which forced him to smile at the mere idea of Stella’s face.

Her face, her body, her personality… all combined to form quite literally the greatest mare in existence, in his mind. The amount of vulgar moments and words exchanged between them with glee only added to the heat that was quickly diffusing through his body, further made noticeable through the gentle night air entering from outside.

That, and she was really the first real friend that readily accepted him in this new world. That counted for a lot.

Fredrick huffed with an impressed smile.

I guess I have my answer!

“Yeah. I really, really do. I just don’t want things to devolve should she say no, though.”

Luna, herself, grinned that knowing grin at Fredrick.

“I would not worry about that. Stella’s character dictates that she would not fault you for your eventual proposition. Should she say ‘no,’ it would just be that at face value. In the end, I believe my time for advising is done… and your time for action begins. When shall you see her next?” she asked, facing her body to Fredrick and leaning forward.

“She’s getting settled in right now in her new Lieutenant role, so probably in a week or so she’ll have some time, she said.” Fred replied.

Luna’s face adopted a rather coy expression as she further leaned forward. Again, Fred called upon self-control to not attempt a down-shirt.

“If you are not completely certain, why don’t you find her and ask her? Take initiative, you fool! I’ll have you know that she takes a very hands-on approach when working with subordinates. You’ll find her in four days’ time on the Castle Proving Grounds at night starting at exactly twenty-two hundred hours,” she hinted, then fluttered her eyelashes and exaggerated her toothy grin.

Fredrick smiled back comfortably.

“I guess I’ll mark it on my calendar.”

Luna held her arms open, and Fred accepted the gesture instantly, throwing his hands around her. The two embraced each other eagerly and tightly.

“Very good. I wish you the best of luck,” Luna spoke softly in his ear.

“Thanks again, Lu. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” Fred said in return, and he meant every word of that.

They separated and he figured it was his time to do some of the talking.

“So, how’ve you been? How’s governing the nation?” he asked.

It was Luna’s turn to sigh out and flop her back down on the bed with a bounce, arms splayed over her head.

“Ugh, Fredrick, what do I do with my life?”

The human looked down upon his prone friend and laughed, also flopping next to her, placing his arms behind his head.

“Tell me more.”

[Four Days Later…]

With Luna’s advice fresh in his mind, Fredrick threw on some casual clothes at around ten-thirty at night and set out from his room. Many deep breaths were had but he knew there would be nothing to worry about; it wasn’t like he was formally asking her out or anything. All he had planned was to just ask her when she was free to hang out… like they would normally ask one another. That’s it.

This was the first, pivotal step to lay the groundwork for his eventual plans.

Fredrick sported a noticeably bright smirk as he strutted with a purpose. Waving to the occasional maid or lunar guard that he knew, he kept making sure that his hair was parted to the left, the way which he felt it looked his best.

He then did a little bit of introspection when he caught himself ‘fixing’ his hair for the fifth time… and he hadn’t even left the castle!

Dude, fucking relax. You’re not taking her on a date, you’re just stopping by to say hi like you always do.

You were friends with majority women back on Earth, can you NOT sperg out?

…Okay. I’m good? I’m good.

The little pep talk was successful, and he continued onward, exiting out of the northern arch into the assembly area.

Thankfully, Luna had provided him with the most direct way to get to the Castle Proving Grounds, so he didn’t get lost and accidentally run into a live-fire exercise or something. Fred doubted that would happen, but his track record for luck since he was sent here by jacking off to anime tiddies wasn’t the most sterling on paper.

The Northern Courtyard was another sight to behold, with just a perimeter-encapsulated expanse of the most well-maintained grass he had ever seen in his life. Wind rippled through it, creating variable patterns of waves that he’d liken to the ocean, but much neater. Fred definitely had to stop and take in the scenery for a little while; Stella only showed him in passing, so he never really had an opportunity to admire its majesty.

There were still plenty of places he hadn’t explored in his meager six-month tenure here.

What Fred didn’t realize, however, was that upon crossing this seemingly barren ‘courtyard,’ there was a massive set of stairs that led down to the proving grounds: another vast expanse of more-variable topography. In his field of vision, Fredrick took in the grassy knolls on the right-hand side, lined with several crates of small arms and some heavier caliber guns. Just to the left of it was a firing range and even further to the left was a small arena-looking section of dirt.

And that’s when he spied his target.

Around forty lunar guards, the majority batpony, were lined up in an orderly fashion around the dirt arena. In the center, two of the guards went at it in what Fred guessed was some sort of Close Quarters Combat training; one-on-one… and from Fred’s point of view, even from the distance, he could see they were really getting into it.

Channeling his inner child and sliding down the long railing present in the center of the stairs, it was then that he was able to focus on the mare he was looking for.

There stood Stella Sabre, back facing him and her hands on her cocked hips as she observed her soldiers sparring. All present were, surprisingly, not garbed in their armor, but their more standard soldier’s uniforms and helmets. The lunar camouflage with its mixture of different shades of blue actually looked nice and seemed somewhat practical, in Fred’s eyes. Her lieutenant's stripe was displayed proudly on both her helmet and shoulders.

But he had to remember that he didn’t care about colors and uniforms. He was much more interested in Stella herself… and that glorious ass of hers quietly observing her new unit. All seemed to fade away, especially the grunts and yelps emanating from the battle circle as Fred focused on the suited-up mare. Her mane was not in its usual ponytail, instead flowing freely under the brim of her helmet and ending at a perfect point on her upper back. Her tail seemed to flutter with the wind, occasionally curling up at tense moments.

Advancing forward to get her attention, Fred was violently ripped away from his ogling state when Stella smacked her hands against her temples with a metallic clang. She looked like she wanted to claw her own head off.

“Oh fuck me…” came her muffled groan into her hand, but her voice suddenly raised several decibels when she marched right into the circle.

“Alright stop. STOP!,” she ordered. “This isn’t a fucking fight, fuck me two mares eating each other’s cunts would put up a better fight than this shit.”

Fred observed as she brushed past her troops and yanked out a lone soldier—a pink-maned batpony mare—by her collar and tossed her out. The poor guard was hyperventilating, attempting to regain any semblance of normal breathing but Stella was instantly upon her, kneeling down to be at eye-level.

And a tiny chill ran down his spine at seeing his friend’s signature ‘bollocking face.’

“You are the first line of defense for the Princesses against would-be assassins. What. The. Fuck. Was that?”

The reeling mare only looked down and shook her head, unable to form any coherent words through her fatigue and embarrassment.

Stella slapped her helmet to get her attention, and went right back to her scolding.

“Is this your best? Huh?”

“N-No, Lieutenant Sabre…!”

Stella didn’t buy that one bit.

“I think it is. Is that what you’re gonna fuckin’ combat enemies of the state with? Not even protecting yer own face with your hands? You’ll just get yourself killed, Private. I think you’re done.”

Forcing out a sob, the nameless batpony stood ramrod, defiant.

“No Ma’am! I’m not done, that was not my best!”

Stella crossed her arms under her chest.

“Then why the fuck are you not giving me yerr best? I’ll ask again! Are you done?! Do you wanna fuck off home?!”

“No, Ma’am. No!”

Stella placed her finger right in her subordinate’s face.

“I swear tae fuckin’ Luna if you hold back this platoon… I’ll tell ye, I’ll boot yer ass so hard yer children’ll be born with acute enlarged shithole syndrome. Are you holding back this platoon, Private?!”

The Private growled and fought through her tears. Her stance was still rock-solid.

“No, Lieutenant!”

Fred watched, on the edge of his figurative seat as Stella slowly leaned in, nearly pressing her snout to her soldier’s.

“Then show me some fuckin’ fight in there. FIGHT BACK. Get. It. Together. FOCUS! Don’t gimme bullshit excuses. Gimme results! Hit the fucker!” Stella ordered with bared teeth.

That seemed to do the trick. Perhaps all she needed was some Stella-patented motivation.

“Yes, Ma’am!” the pink-maned thestral said with the most determination thus far, saluting and charging right back into the ring against her adversary…

…and slugging him hard in the face, thus restarting the rather brutal ‘sparring’ match.

Stella huffed out approvingly, but then her ears twitched when she caught wind of Fredrick behind her. She then glanced over her shoulder and turned around, her stern face melting instantly into a bright smile.

“Oi there!” she replied with her normal, higher voice with that cute rasp.

“Hey!” Fred replied, stepping forward and into Stella’s awaiting embrace.

He had to make sure his chin didn’t smack right into the top of her helmet, so he took extra precautions. They separated to continue watching the practice-brawl in front of them, but she still held her arm around his shoulder.

Not that he minded. Fred gladly kept his hand around her waist… and could still feel the muscle through her thicker uniform.

“Fancy seeing you around here. What’s the occasion?” she asked.

“Not much, just thought I’d drop by and say hi, is all. Glad you didn’t die from a hangover though from four days ago,” Fred added.

This earned a light-hearted chuckle out of the mare.

“It’ll take a lot more than that to kill me, mate,” she admitted with the highest confidence. “Oh, hold on one second,” she added, about to address her platoon.

“Alright you muppets, that’s enough! We’ll continue this later. Take two minutes and then we’re heading down the mountain!”

“Yes, Ma’am!” came the, strong, uniform reply.

That’s when the odd duo separated in full to face each other.

“So what’sup mate? Pretty sure ya didn’t just come out here to watch us drill.”

Fredrick shrugged and arched his stance a little bit, giving himself away.

“Y-Yeah maybe not. I did, however, want to know when you’d be free next to hang out while it was still fresh on my mind.”

Stella cocked her head and her right eyebrow, averting her face slightly yet keeping her eyes squarely trained on his.

“At quarter to eleven?” she asked, then put on a toothy grin. “Methinks ya may’ve enjoyed me plastered touching a bit more than you let on…”

Fredrick paled instantly.

“W-What?? You actually remember that?!” he blurted out.

It took a lot of Stella’s willpower to not bust into gut-grabbing guffaw right then and there.

“Of course I remember! Fuck me, mate, it’d take a lot more fuckin’ alcohol for me to black out and not remember me pretty much verbally sexually harassing you and giving your ribcage a drunken titwank. ‘Ave I ever told ye you’re hilarious tae rile up? Oh, and you underestimate my power. I’m offended!” she faux-chastised him, starting up another giggling fit.

Well… she’s taking this in stride.

She playfully punched Fred in the shoulder whilst he marshalled his thoughts… but his sudden stiffness garnered an odd look out of the batpony mare.

“Mate, I’m just fuckin’ with ya… shit son, why’re you actin’ all skittish like ya shat out yer twin?” Stella inquired, but punctuating with another cheeky smirk. “Bad time at the gay bar last night?”

Fred rolled his eyes with a less-than-impressed huff.

“Oh fuck you, hehe,” he began. “And no, I just couldn’t sleep. Needed some fresh air, which is why I decided to kill two birds with one stone and come find you here. So, when’re you free next?” Fred yanked the conversation back on track.

Stella shifted her weight to her left leg and spaced out as she drummed her thoughts.

“Ummm… Like, maybe… I’d say I have time off next week around Thursday? What did ya have in mind, love?”

Seemingly, the way she said ‘love’ sounded a lot more personal than it normally did.

“Not sure. I was maybe thinking about getting some food brought in and we can watch those shitty horror or comedy movies and add our own dialogue whilst bitching about life in general… ALL while possibly getting drunk?” Fred vaguely, yet so specifically detailed out his idea.

Stella’s eyebrow raised yet again, and her jaw slackened slightly.

“Fred…” her quizzical look then became a hearty smile. “That literally sounds like the best fuckin’ night off a mare could ask for. Fuckin’ hell you treat me too well,” Stella replied with an enthusiasm that Fred always loved seeing.

“The only thing missing would be a nice bukkake,” Stella added casually.

Fredrick quite visibly recoiled.

“Wait… what the fuck?!”

“I said ‘fuck yeah, I’ll be over at your room on Thursday!’ Clean out all that crusty spunk from yer stubby fuckin’ ears. Fuck,” the mare shot back with a friendly nuzzle to his cheek.

Fredrick blinked a few times before just simply shaking his head, opting to let Stella just be Stella with no questions asked.

His much more eager demeanor shined through once again.

“Awesome! I’ll buy some imported beer and other liquor. You bring the shitty movies, how’s that sound?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Stella agreed.

She then spontaneously jumped him and threw her arms around his neck. Fred, by reflex, ended up supporting her with his hands dug right under her butt.

A detail which was not lost on the mare, even when she shifted to a more traditional bridal style holding.

Stella fluttered her eyelashes up at him.

“Easy there, mate. I know me flank's bangin’ but don’t give the troops a show. If ya wanted to grab it, why didn’t ya fuckin’ say so?” she waggled her eyebrows at him, and extorted a deep crimson blush to Fred’s cheeks.

This mare was gonna be the death of him.

4. She's the Goddamn Batmare

Author's Note

Used one or two of my favorite lines from around. Bonus points if you can identify them and tell me where from (HINT: Not obvious or 'well known.')

Enjoy!

4. She's the Goddamn Batmare

[Next Thursday Evening…]

The cool, fresh water broke apart and reformed upon each and every stroke of her arms, ripples sailing towards the sides of the pool as Stella completed the last lap of her swimming circuit.

Wings folded tightly, the mare’s back muscles flexed whilst maintaining perfect breast-stroke form. The sunset and the impending dusk cast a vast, brilliant stream of orange and golden light through the large-paned windows, causing the rippling water to shimmer with a majestic sheen which permeated even underneath. Stella was treated to an almost breathtaking lightshow underwater, one of the many reasons she chose to do her swimming at this time of day...

…which was technically when she would wake up. She was a lunar guard, after all, so her sleep schedule was maintained accordingly.

The Guard Recreation Center (GRC) was sparsely populated at this time, with the majority of other ponies being solar troops who had just finished their shifts for the day. This, more often than not, left Stella as the only batpony present during her twice-weekly swim circuits.

With one last thrust, she reached out and clasped both of her hands to the edge of the pool and opted to just float with her head above water. Spacing out, she caught her breath and allowed her muscles the cooldown they deserved; the oh-so amazing chill that the water provided her hot body did wonders for her pleasantly achy self. After a few moments to herself and with a small huff, she hefted herself up entirely, having her legs to do the rest of the work in extricating herself from the water.

Her mind wandered to nowhere in particular.

Hooves on stable ground now, the dripping-wet Stella—garbed in a plain, gradient -blue bikini—just stood there with her hand on her hip whilst she continued to rein in her breathing.

Her swimwear clung to her body exquisitely, especially since her coat was soaked. From the curvature and natural valley of her bosom (which heaved slightly with each breath she took) down to her more critically acclaimed backside, her curves were accentuated beautifully, and would never fail to draw wandering eyes in more public settings. Her ass drew most of that attention with how shapely her ‘lower’ cheeks were, courtesy of powerful muscle and natural fat being in perfect equilibrium.

And boy, did she enjoy flaunting that butt when appropriate.

Stella’s musculature was much more defined thanks to her exertion and being drenched. Vague six pack definition— normally not entirely visible—could be seen through her coat as the last remnants of the sunlight bathed her taxed body. Toned shoulders, lean biceps, and notably large triceps were often the envy of her fellow mares, but there were just some perks that a career-life as a soldier provided that other occupations could not.

All of this, combined with her flowing, navy-blue mane clinging persistently to her neck and back, as well as those piercing, golden eyes painted the picture of a mare who was truly dangerous... dangerous in a fight, dangerous by virtue of intimidation factor, and dangerous by just the sheer power she could have over any stallion or mare she desired.

But, there was only one individual in particular on which Stella cared to employ this ‘power.’

“Lieutenant Sabre,” a deep voice suddenly destroyed Stella’s calm, pensive stupor.

Instantly looking up, she found a rather tall lunar guard in full armor. He snapped to attention, saluted, and presented her a scroll, one which Stella instantly recognized as one with High Command letterhead.

“At ease, I’m not on duty,” she spoke, reaching quickly for a towel and drying her hand before taking the scroll.

Unfurling it, her eyes scanned over the words with immense scrutiny, but said words did not fail to bring a tired smile to her face upon conclusion of her reading.

As she handed back the scroll, her reply came quite level-headed and nonchalant:

“Look’s like I’m doing something right. Sounds like a plan. Now, do me a favor. Stop staring at me tits and get this back to both Captain Nightshade and Princess Luna. Tell ‘em ‘it’ll be done,’ aye? Or I’ll fuckin’ stuff this up your inbox.”

After saluting once more, the newcomer guard’s stature was much less confident.

“Y-Yes, ma’am!”

“Very good,” Stella replied, then gestured toward the door with her thumb. “Now fuck off.”

And with that, he skedaddled.

Stella watched him go, letting herself crack a smile and an eventual chuckle before she finished drying herself off. All the while, she exited out of the GRC and headed back to her barracks with her towel slung over her shoulder. It was an easy walk, and she passed by an occasional guard or castle staff, who paid her little mind in her less-than-public attire.

Well, not overtly at least.

After a couple of minutes, she found herself back in her own ‘castle’ and was stripping out of her swimwear. She was a little hurried at the moment, considering her hangout with Fredrick was scheduled in about twenty minutes, so the objective was to undress, re-dress, grab the videos she rented, and get to his room. Simple stuff.

Her top already off by now, a realization had struck her, forcing her posture to suddenly sag, frustrated.

Shit… I smell like sweat and water. And Fred’s a clean cunt so I need a fuckin’ shower.

It wasn’t that Stella was unclean; quite the contrary. She religiously took care of herself, both in body and in mind (though the latter would prove debatable, depending on whom one asked). Sometimes she’d bathe twice a day if she felt the need. But she was not above practicality. If things were not so bad on her end, and she was pressed for time, she’d forego a shower and take one later. No harm, no foul.

Fred was one of two of her best friends. She knew he wouldn’t care in the slightest.

But, this was a special circumstance.

And it was at that moment that her ‘bunk’ mate, Emeralda, unlocked their door and entered in… finding Stella standing in front of her bed in a pensive gaze with tits out.

The newcomer—an appropriately emerald-maned and eyed thestral—instantly slouched her once rigid posture with a furrowed brow, clearly less than amused.

“Ugh for fuck’s sake, Stella how come every time I come in here you’re half or entirely naked?! Are you planning this shit?”

Stella faced her fully and, pursing her lips, threw her arms out to the side, putting her top half entirely on display to her bunkmate of several years.

“Oi, wouldn’t you like to fuckin’ know!”

She then waggled her eyebrows as she proceeded to squeeze her chest between her arms, smiling seductively.

“Don’t act like ya don’t want a couple slices o’these juicy melons,” Stella punctuated, shimmying her torso invitingly at the increasingly uncomfortable Emeralda.

The latter partially blocked her vision with her hand, turning away.

“I’m quite straight, fuck you very much for the mental image. You know, I can stand occasionally walking in on you, and I’m no prude, but by Luna it’s literally every goddamn time you’re letting your tits and vag just air out…

“…and can you stop wiggling your tongue at me!?”

Her reactions were priceless to the foul-mouthed batpony, and a hearty laugh was had at Emeralda’s expense.

“Oh re-lax, Em. I’m leavin’ for the night anyway, so you won’t have to worry ‘bout that,” Stella replied, bending down and retrieving her bikini top to put back on.

She tied that up, then slung her towel back over her shoulder and retrieved a few specific items of clothing from the closet, also making sure to grab the few movie tapes for tonight’s planned activities with Fredrick.

Emeralda still wasn’t entirely convinced at Stella’s acquiescence.

“Yeah yeah… just like you said a month ago and then I walked in on you railing yourself two days later?” Emeralda called out after her colleague.

Before Stella was out her door, she turned around and pointedly remarked with that toothy smile of hers:

“Hey, for the fuckin’ record, I offered you the chance to join in. There was plenty of room on the other side of the dildo so you’ve got no business feeling left out on that one, love.”

Emeralda growled and flung her hands downward.

“JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Stella giggled impishly into her palm as she scampered away, dressed in nothing more than her aforementioned swimsuit and towel.

As with just a few minutes earlier, any passing lunar guards paid her little heed; Stella was not one to care how she was dressed in front of others, though most ponies had to learn that fact about her the hard way.

Stella’s initial plan was to make her way to the showers, clean up, then dress herself before heading off, but at the last second, she formulated a much better idea.

Hmmm…

Chewing gently on her upper lip, Stella beamed mischievously, immediately high-tailing it out of the barracks.

Back in Fredrick’s room, the human scurried around, cleaning up anything that might’ve been redundant and fixing what might’ve been out of place as he prepped for the relaxing evening with his friend.

He was normally a clean person anyway, as even back on Earth he could not tolerate when things got messy; it would make him feel cramped in his own room, so he did his best to keep everything as orderly as possible. Besides, Fred felt that it said something about his character when one time, he had to wade through a sea of empty bottles of beer and vodka during his college days.

Not one of his prouder moments, especially since it was one of the first times he brought a girl back home.

Regardless, he wasn’t too worried tonight; Stella wasn’t one to judge him on anything, really—something that he always loved about her. Though, she still took the time to jokingly chastise him for anything, as he would the same to her. Such was their relationship.

Fred stopped in his tracks as that thought skated the periphery of his mind.

You’re thinking about her way too much, dude. Cool it, or you’ll drive yourself insane.

He followed this up with a resolution.

Drop the question tonight. No ifs, ands, or buts.

And as if shaking hands with himself, he nodded once curtly and continued setting things up. Since his room was in orderly fashion, Fredrick made sure his clothes—consisting of merely a forest-green t-shirt and some black cargo shorts—were also neat before moving to get the food ready. Just as he had said he would do, he picked up an assortment of fresh fruits that were laid out on a catering-sized circular tray, among other things.

Fred set this ensemble on his dresser and disposed the plastic covering. With sliced pineapple at the center, the appetizing technicolor sampling tray would offer the perfect light snacking opportunity for he and Stella… though more so Stella.

As Fredrick found out several months prior, batponies weren’t actually of the vampire variety (a common misconception, apparently), but more of the fruit-bat variety.

She then promptly told him that she, vampire or not, was still ‘world-class at sucking.’

The human fondly recalled that exchange while he set out more drinks and snacks.

He remembered vividly, that he then followed up cheekily in inquiring if she was the ‘homo’ fruit variety.

Now that earned him a hilarious deadpan and a slug to the shoulder.

With setting a box of chocolate bars out on the edge of the dresser, Fredrick stood victoriously with his hands on his hips, eyeing the (partially literal) fruits of his labor. Everything was set up perfectly, and the video player was ready to go. All that was missing was a certain thestral mare.

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

Fredrick grinned, turning towards the door and calling out as he made his way over.

“Fuck, you’re punctual! How the hell do you happen to show up whenever I wonder about your arrival?”

“I felt a disturbance in the force,” came the muffled reply from beyond the thick, wooden veil.

The human giggled heartily, gripping the handle.

“Dude I showed you like, the first of the original trilogy on my phone. You got no right to be making jokes about it already!”

“I am the fucking force! Now open the door or I’ll force it open, you twat.”

Rolling his eyes with a smirk, Fred did just that. With a mighty creak, the door opened inward.

“Alright, so everything is…” he began to say but upon seeing Stella quite underdressed, his words trailed off a cliff.

And his eyes, in turn, trailed downward.

In front of him, with a towel slung over her left shoulder, was a bikini-clad Stella, and boy did that swimsuit fit her just right. Most notably, the cups of the top expertly pressed her sweater puppies together so enticingly, that Fred would most certainly not mind getting smothered right about now. It wasn’t that Fred was not often privy to Stella in all of her glory, but oddly enough, he could not remember a time when he had seen her in a swimsuit. He explicitly remembered her donning typical t-shirts, booty shorts, skimpy tank tops, loose midriffs, and the whole nine yards…

But never a bikini.

Huh.

This only complicated his already-muddled mind even more, further reinforcing just how gorgeous this mare was, while simultaneously highlighting his own insecurities.

“Oi yeah, about this…” Stella cut in after feeling his eyes linger, shifting her weight onto her right leg and consequently striking a cocked-hip pose.

Her expression was as nonchalant as ever.

“…mind if I use yer shower, mate?”

“Uhhh… yeah of course!” he managed to sputter out after some mental jogging.

Fred gestured towards the restroom whilst scratching the front of his hairline.

“You umm… you know where the bathroom is.”

Stella instantly perked up with a bright smile, skipping forward and tightly embracing the dumbstruck human. Fredrick could feel her breasts squishing against him just under his own chest… by anatomy they always had to when they hugged. He just noticed it more this time around. This was drowned out when the mare nuzzled her cheek against his, a (much more common, in pony society) gesture that he had come to appreciate.

Further, he was about sixty-nine percent sure that he felt the tiniest fringes of her nipples through the cup fabric.

Oh lawdy…

From his perspective, Stella seemed rather unaware of this fact, even as he reciprocated the smile and hugged her just as tight. Then again, Stella was not one to refrain from teasing him platonically, though admittedly this instance would not really qualify under ‘platonic.’ So, he opted to elect the former scenario.

As for Stella, she found Fredrick’s naivety rather cute. She never let her opinion on this slip throughout the last few weeks, of course, nor did that change when she separated to look at him fully.

“Thank you.”

She pecked him on his left cheek.

“Very much, love.”

And on his right, before bounding straight towards the bathroom, depositing the three videos on the dresser on her way over.

Fredrick scrunched his nose as he took in a lingering, foreign, yet not entirely pleasant combination of scents.

“You smell like sweat and water.”

“That’s what I’m sayin’! Oh, those’re the movies for tonight. Be done in five!” she called back as she shut the door, beginning to run the water.

“Uhh, okay!” came his eager yet unsure reply.

But internally, things were made worse (or better, all things considered) when what Fredrick endearingly referred to as ‘that ass’ had pranced by on full display… all accented by her bikini bottoms.

Jesus Christ. I never asked for this…

Fred had been thinking a lot about Stella in a physical way… much more so than he normally had, and as the human jumped onto his bed and idly lay back, he pondered this. He almost felt bad for doing so, considering how much respect he had for his best friend. He saw her as more than just a good looking mare by all accounts, so he had to remind himself that Stella also thought the world of him; he knew this to be demonstrably true through her own actions, even though his own oblivious twattery.

The amount of times she came to his defense without asking or needing to was a sure sign of this.

But even through the self-reassurance, Fred was not blind to the fact of what lay ahead of him if things did go according to plan.

He sighed out pensively, laying his head back against his folded arms.

“What the hell are you getting yourself into, man?”

Staring at the ceiling again and letting his mind continue to meander with the help of the shower sounds as white noise, Fredrick considered other ‘avenues.’

If you wanted to begin dating, there are quite literally a bunch of other beautiful mares ready to court you should you show even a modicum of interest… if only because you’re different.

You had no attention of this sort back on Earth, mind you.

But no, the one ‘batmare’ army was a good choice.

No matter how he framed it, he knew his decision had been made. Any attempts at last-minute dissuasion ultimately played into his former rationale anyway; each reason he listed that could potentially ‘cause problems’ was almost exactly a reason why he liked this thestral mare in the first place.

Fredrick wanted Stella. That was the simple matter of fact.

The running water abruptly cut off.

“Oi! Shithead! Where the fuck’re yer towels??” Stella yelled through the closed bathroom door.

Opening his eyes, the human angled his head towards said door, smirking at his next words.

“You had a goddamn towel slung on your shoulder when you showed up looking like a competitively-priced call girl, open your fuckin’ eyes!”

“OoooOOooh bringin’ out the banter guns already, you cheeky spunkbubble? And I forgot that I used it to dry off when swimming, so it’s sopping wet!”

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Fred replied flatly. “Oh, also: that’s what she said.”

He could barely hear the curt, stifled snort emanate from the bathroom, but he did hear it.

“Oh fuuuck~ off…

“…Ah! Found ‘em! Why’re they in the fuckin’ cabinet above the shitter?” Stella immediately questioned despite her sudden burst of exuberance.

Fred looked almost offended by that inquiry.

“The Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen, and you don’t keep your towels in the closest, easiest to reach place from inside the shower? What kind of savage are you?”

A small bit of silence prevailed as Fred figured his friend was drying herself off. Still, she had every intention of replying to that with her own bemusement.

“The year of our… what?”

“Nothing. Just get out here already!”

The bathroom door swung open on his command, residual steam rising up out of the doorway and disappearing into the room proper… and out sauntered Stella. She rocked a simple, loose black tank top with an identically colored bra underneath and some navy blue mesh shorts to top it all off. The latter matched her mane and tail perfectly—both of which were still damp. Like silken rivers flowing downward over the gentle cartography of her coat, her mane clung to her neck and collarbone, devoid of its ponytail form in which Fred was more accustomed to seeing.

Beautiful.

In the end, the main takeaways were her breasts intermittently, and often tactically on display, as well as those perfectly contoured, powerful legs perpetually on display. That, and he felt she should wear her hair down more; it certainly suited her in a relaxed state.

“I…” she began, holding her arms wide.

“…have arrived.”

Fredrick sat up and leaned his back against the headboard, cocking his eyebrow. He crossed his right leg over his left all the while…

…not like he was trying to hide anything.

“You done?” Fred asked.

In response to Fred’s sarcasm, Stella’s complexion became much smugger.

“Nah mate, the question is: are you done eyeing me up so we can watch the first fuckin’ movie?” she asked, smiling cheekily and returning that raised eyebrow to sender.

She picked up the first video from the stack on the dresser, shaking it idly in her grasp as she stared down her best friend.

Fredrick sat up completely, leaning forward while rolling his eyes.

“Oh you friggin’ wish I was eyeing you up,” he countered.

Stella rolled her eyes in return.

“And there ya go talkin’ shite out yer bunghole,” she shot back, making her way casually over and—putting on her teasing cap for the moment—added some extra sexy sway when she crawled onto the bed, never breaking eye contact.

And despite Fredrick meeting her stare with a stoic one of his own, she could literally smell the insecurity in him, and the subtle coloring of his cheeks proved to her that she won. Again.

She sat next to him on his left and laid back against the headboard before dropping the aforementioned movie in his lap.

She then flashed him that signature smirk, folding her arms back behind her head.

“Play it, bitch. Let’s get started.”

Fredrick examined the plain-black movie box, questioning what they were gonna be watching first.

He flicked his eyes up to her.

“What are we even watching, anyway? This is a blank video case,” he noted.

Stella blinked, and went silent for a moment. Looks like she, too, was not entirely sure.

“I think that’s Tittilating Trannies of Trottingham 2: Electric Boogaloo,” she wagered.

Fredrick, understandably, recoiled quite visibly.

“Wait, you actually serious?”

Stella, for the record, almost looked disturbed at that assertion. As such, she delivered unto Fredrick a friendly, if stern slap to his shoulder.

“Ow!”

“You really think I’d bring over kinky porn and watch it with you?” Stella asked, doing her best to not laugh; she knew exactly what Fredrick was doing.

“Well… yeah, actually,” Fred replied, raising an eyebrow at her whilst nodding as if she was the weird one.

“Dream on, mate. Now play the fuckin’ movie, ya shriveled tackle.”

“Yeah yeah yeah…” Fred grumbled, crawling to the foot of the bed to fiddle with the projector, which would display the movie with (surprisingly, he found out in the past) good quality.

On his way down, Stella smacked him right on the left ass cheek.

“GAH!”

“And don’t be whingin’ all mad because I’m hot and caught you looking… for the millionth fuckin’ time,” Stella teased.

“Uh huh, don’t flatter yourself,” Fred flatly riposted, to which Stella offered a hearty giggle coupled with a faux-flirtatious fluttering of her eyelashes.

It was an easy task to set up the movie, as the magically-powered projector worked almost identically to a VCR, and while those were admittedly not as common by a longshot anymore back on Earth, Fred still grew up with them. Ergo, he knew how to work them well, and by extension, this projector contraption was little different.

The movie playing seamlessly (which happened to, in fact, be a cheesy horror flick), Fredrick slunk back into his position, setting some pillows against the headboard so he could lie down somewhat. Stella opted to do the same, and after she brought an entire plate of fruit to nosh on, they lapsed into what one would consider a usual movie-watching routine.

That is, they often formed their own satirical or mocking dialogue to the movie, or simply criticized it and bantered with each other all the while. Their record of doing this was about six hours in the past, and how things were going now, they might’ve been on par with that record come the near future.

“Oh fuh fuuuux sake!” Stella spoke exasperatedly with her mouth full of pineapple.

Shoulder-to-shoulder with her human friend, she slouched against the headboard and gestured open-handed towards the movie projection. She swallowed her food before continuing:

“Seriously, why do ponies feel so fuckin’ compelled to ‘investigate’ when they hear a creepy as fuck noise? I mean, ‘ave a look at this dumb cunt!”

Fredrick nodded softly in agreement, angling his face to Stella.

“Cogent point. Though it wouldn’t really make a difference because apparently it’s a ‘killer ghost,’” he air quoted. “Bitch is dead… oh! There she goes now, let’s see if my theory is proven correct.”

Both of them turned back toward the projection with rapt attention, witnessing a busty unicorn mare in too-tight of a night-gown tip-toe into the mysterious, dark room.

“H-Hello…?

“Anypony t-there…?

Hel—HUH?! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

And after that sudden, shrill scream, the creepy-looking ghost ripped her throat out, splattering her blood all over the walls. Neither Fred nor Stella flinched at the gory scene. In fact, they actually nodded simultaneously, their expectations confirmed.

“Yup. RIP in peace. Never forgetti,” Fredrick weighed in, crossing his arms as a father would, disappointed at his daughter’s poor life choices.

“That’s another thing, aye? Killer ghosts. I don’t fuckin’ understand the concept,” Stella began, mimicking Fred’s arm orientation.

“It’s a ghost that kills peop—ponies. Therefore, ‘killer ghost.’ Not sure what’s not to get?” Fred questioned.

Stella shook her head pointedly.

“Nah mate. How the fuck can a ghost kill you? It’s an apparition!” she exclaimed, flinging her arms out and letting them drop in her lap.

She then turned to Fred, gesturing her hand down an imaginary pathway.

“Have a little walk down to the graveyard and look along the graves. Know how many say ‘here lies Mrs. Pony, she was fucked to death by a ghost?’ None? Because nopony dies from fuckin’ ghosts!”

Fredrick laughed. Hard. He then faced her, ready to weigh in with what he considered the greatest irony.

“I find it hilarious that we live in a world where you can move and do shit with an often unseen ethereal force known as ‘magic’… and the idea of a ghost that kills things baffles you.”

“Oi, magic actually makes sense; there’s legitimate theory behind it,” she reminded. “This is just absolute fuckin’ bollocks.”

“It’s a shitty movie. What’d you expect, honestly?” Fred genuinely asked.

“Absolute twaddle. Fucking shite… let’s keep watching,” Stella said in an about-face most quintessential of her.

Fredrick loosed another chuckle, and Stella pleasantly surprised him when she scooted a little closer and lay her head on his shoulder. This, also, was not an uncommon occurrence, though Fred knew for a fact that Stella wasn’t much of a cuddler unless the planets aligned properly and a virgin was sacrificed.

In response, Fred lay his head atop of hers. This was as far as it went, and he was more than okay with that.

For now.

“Your ear is tickling my neck,” he noted.

“Pfft! I bet that’s yer fetish, innit?” she countered, chortling.

Fred pursed his lips, deciding to respond the only way he knew how to in these situations with friends: exaggerated, mocking voices… particularly Stella’s accent.

“Oh you know me, Stel’. Aww yeah gurl, gimme dat ear ticklin’. Shite gets me harder than diamonds.”

Stella nearly busted out laughing.

“Mate, if yer gonna take the piss outta me at least have the fuckin’ common courtesy to not have me sound like fat, dying cow. I mean, come on.”

“Yeah well I’m not as sophisticated as you, so…” Fredrick added with trademark sarcasm.

“Oh you’re so very fuckin’ witty, Fred. Now pass me the goddamn gin and let’s finish this movie so we can go to the next one,” the batpony requested in her own way.

Fred was pleasantly reminded that he indeed bought a really nice bottle of gin to go along with tonight. It stood ready to drink on his nightstand, along with two glasses as well as tonic water.

“Right!” he exclaimed, leaning over to his right and fetching the aforementioned bottle off of the nightstand. He would fix himself a drink once he served Stella so he only fetched one glass.

He sat back up and handed both to her.

“Gin and—”

Stella snatched the bottle out of his hand without warning, leaving the glass on its lonesome.

“Cheers!” she stated with a smile, then unscrewed the cap, attached the lip of the bottle to her mouth, and chugged away.

Fredrick’s eyes went as wide as the diameter of the unused glass, and as if watching a train wreck with a horrified reverence, he could not look away from Stella downing a third of the bottle in one go.

The suction gave away with a satisfying pop on her end, and Stella cooed once she had her fill.

“Ahhh, fuck me that went down smooth,” she said, clicking her tongue. “Smooth like cock down a skank’s throat, lemme tell ya.”

Fredrick snorted, slapping his hand to his forehead as he let laughter take him over.

“Have I ever told you that you slay me?” he asked rhetorically through an involuntary grin.

Stella considered his words for a moment, playfully tapping her finger twice against her chin.

“Maybe once or twice,” she answered, then promptly offered him the one-third depleted bottle of gin.

“Have a drink?”

“You know it! Lemme just get my tonic,” Fredrick said, about to lean over to grab the bottle.

Stella, however, had other plans when she gripped him by the shoulder, intercepting his motions and shoving the bottle in his face.

“How ‘bout nae. Drink.”

“But my tonic…”

“Fuck yer tonic. Let’s play a drinking game,” Stella proposed with a child-like smile. “It’s called: ‘drink straight from the bottle you fuckin’ poof.’ Drink it all, you slut!”

Fredrick pursed his lips for the umpteenth time in their friendship.

“I don’t have a throat of steel… which must take ‘practice’ to get, by the way,” Fred countered, garnering a light deadpan out of the mare.

“Ugh so fahnny joke!” Stella replied with a jesting voice, but then switched to a much more ‘sophisticated’ tone, with accompanying exaggerated body gestures:

“But dear me I’m so terribly sorry you have the mouth and throat of a toddler. Please, can I offer you something else, good sir? Perhaps a cup of apple juice? A bottle of milk? A shot of sperm?”

“Alright fine! If you’re gonna be a lil’ shit about it, gimme the damn bottle,” Fredrick huffed, snatching the bottle of gin back and taking a nice big swig, though ‘gulp’ would be a more appropriate term in this case.

After fighting through the instant burn combined with the subtle ginger after-taste, all sliding painfully down his gullet with a distinct lack of delicious tonic water, he released his hold on the bottle and regained control of his breathing.

Considering he almost spit up on himself, Stella was in hysterics, pounding the bed in any effort to contain her guffaw at Fredrick’s expense.

“HAHAHA ahhh fuckin’ hell Fred I love you,” she groaned out, wiping her eyes. “But, now that you’ve proven you at least have knob, let’s finish this movie already!”

Fred decided not to reply, and with that, the mare retook her place leaning her head on his shoulder. Likewise, Fredrick lay his cheek against the top of her head and they continued the movie in earnest. That consisted of the same behavior, namely making fun of the overly-dramatic actors and their crappy decisions which inevitably got them killed.

Starting up the next scary movie, the two felt the need to start ramping their own replacement dialogue.

That was all well and dandy for Fredrick, especially since Stella was the master at coming up with the most hilarious shit on the fly. He honestly did not know how she did it, but he knew for a fact that his life was much more complete with someone as insane as her by his side whenever he wanted or needed…

…and intermittently, when he least expected it.

As the next movie progressed and their joint lethargy exponentiated proportionally to the amount of alcohol flowing through their blood, the two began to relax a little more into each other. This also entailed scaling back their snarky wordage at the video and between each other. Again, this was not an uncommon occurrence, and Fredrick actually looked forward to these little moments that he had with his good-looking friend. After all, though he was a cuddler and—as previously reflected upon—Stella wasn’t, he still enjoyed the tamer physicalities of their strong bond.

It was just a perk that this time, due to a combination of their position, his height over hers, and her clothing, he was treated to one of the greatest bird’s eye view downshirts in all of human history.

Fred, no…

Fred, yes.

A simple flick of his eyes from the movie downward treated him to her smooth, supported breasts in full real-life HD definition. Her cleavage did not look forced in the slightest, as her bra only served to do its intended purpose: support her modest yet still sizeable mounds. Ergo, nothing looked bloated or less-than-perky. Fredrick’s eyes delicately traced the curvature of her mammaries, starting from her upper chest and following their periphery down into her simple bra… where he knew exactly what lay underneath but still did not detract from his desire to see for himself.

Then he settled his vision squarely on her cleavage, which held nary a blemish nor roughness to it. Just smooth, continuous skin (and a thin layer of coat) from both of her breasts compressing together to form that mouth-watering slit… so simple in nature yet tantalizing for those like him who gave more than their fair share of appreciation to boobs.

He knew exactly what he was doing, perving somewhat on his best friend. Even so, he knew he wasn’t objectifying her, but if the eye-candy presented itself, he saw absolutely no issue in stealing a glance.

Or in this case, a goddamn buffet helping.

“You’re not being sneaky, I hope you know that,” Stella suddenly blurted out, and the slight upturn of her inflection told Fred all he needed to know.

Straight. Up. Caught.

And he figured he’d take the most common approach to weasel out of something like this: play the idiot.

“Dude, what’re you talking about?” he replied with a rehearsed confidence, though he had to get control of his internal temperature immediately.

Their positions never changed, and Stella only sighed out and chuckled.

Fred could practically feel the incredulous eye-roll.

“Oh don’t fuckin’ gimme that load of bollocks, mate. You honestly believe I can’t tell when you’re staring at me tits or arse? Come on I thought we established this when I was gashed! I know. Every. Time.”

Fred was about to reply, but Stella turned her head up at him, took one look at his face, and snickered loudly.

“And you looking like you’re about to sweat out yer own spinal fluid tells me all I need to know.”

At this point, Fred knew he wouldn’t be able to play this off, so he figured the second best approach now was potential damage control.

He took a deep breath (under Stella’s cheeky gaze) and broke the pregnant silence with a resounding:

“Sorry.”

He then turned back to watch the movie and hope this would all blow over, but Stella wasn’t quite done yet. Her face was as nonchalant as ever… mixed with her trying not to laugh her ass off.

“Oh fuck off with your ‘sorry’ you know you’re not! And you shouldn’t be! They’re kinda… in the open” she said, nudging her left ‘girl’ for emphasis.

Again, she had something else to append.

“I’ve been waiting but I guess I gotta spell it out: if you’re gonna ogle me at least put some goddamn effort into it and have a real look up—or down—at them and stop being, as you say, a lil’ bitch!” she challenged, sticking a finger in his face.

Being honest with himself, the sudden prodding, even in its joking roots, began to annoy him ever so slightly.

“Oh really? You’d just let me look at your tits and ass just like that? Hmm?” he retorted with sarcastic cautiousness.

Stella, for the millionth time this evening, rolled her eyes… and after huffing out in blatant irritation, she swung her left leg over Fred’s legs and straddled his knees. She then gestured, open-palmed, to both of her breasts which were barely a foot in front of the increasingly ‘frustrated’ human’s face.

“Right here. Go on then! I don’t fucking mind and apparently you’re too daft to get that,” she spoke with more solemnness in her voice.

She placed a lone hand on the stunned, blinking Fred’s shoulder.

“You’re my best mate. I trust you with me life for fucks sake so how about you not be a hot penis about this and just look when you want!

“My. Best. Mate. If it brings you that much pleasure then fucking take a privilege for once in yer fuckin’ life, you shaven twat!

“…And for the record, I’m actually flattered. Fuck me, sometimes yer just so fuckin’ dense it’s like light bends around your head!” she ended her rather gentle tirade.

As for Fredrick—with literally all the permission in the world given to him—he let out a massive breath and took Stella up on her simultaneous challenge and demand, though not without glancing back up at her face. A few of her navy locks veiled portions of her eyes as she stared back at him, urging him onward.

So, he looked.

No, he stared; ogled. Like he had been staring not even a couple minutes prior, Fredrick allowed himself a much more intimate, closer look at the half-covered breasts that he had been (secretly) fantasizing about over the last week or so. With them so close to his face, he was privy to a few extra details, such as her boobs gracefully heaving with each and every breath Stella took… which seemed oddly deep and long, now that he thought of it.

And, Fred felt he should not be surprised if Stella felt something else ‘long’ in her field of vision should she decide to look down.

No matter, she probably knew anyway.

He just decided to take the opportunity afforded to him on a diamond-studded golden platter and just… stare to his heart’s content.

Just… wow.

This is it. You won a universal scratchcard lottery somewhere.

Oh how he’d love to just smash his face into her chest right now, press his nose to her sternum and breathe in her scent as her pillows enveloped his cheeks. Thoughts like these, as well as those of the much lewder variety ran marathons through his mind… and as much as he’d love to just slide his hands up her taut torso and palm both of her breasts to bloat that cleavage of hers, he knew proper restraint.

Thus, subconsciously, he settled on just resting his hands comfortably on her thighs. No one protested.

Though all things considered with his luck at the moment, he figured Stella would not have minded if he did just go for her tits in full.

And he would’ve been right, actually.

Stella enjoyed every bit of him staring straight into her ‘canyon,’ as it were… if her victorious, toothy grin was anything to go by. She even stretched her tank top down to make it a little tighter fit up there and give Fredrick that much better of a view; she knew he’d appreciate it. After all, he wasn’t the only one getting pleasure out of this. She was not shy about her appearance, and knew that she looked good, but still being able to get a rise (literally and figuratively) out of someone like Fredrick was exciting in its own right. A pleasant heat rose above her diaphragm and coalesced in her cheeks, knowing that her human friend found her both physically attractive and enjoyed her personality to boot. She meant every word she said; he could look any time he wanted and she would not mind in the slightest.

For now, she waited patiently until Fred would have his fill, and all the while, her smile refused to wane.

“Ahem,” Stella spoke up again, breaking Fred’s concentration on that magnificent chest of hers just enough to meet her gaze.

“Welcome back, cunt! Like what you see?” she asked.

Fred didn’t even want to warrant that with a response, but felt he was obligated to in the moment.

“Is that even a fucking question? They’re perfect,” he admitted, which extorted another giggle out of the straddling mare.

A very feminine one at that.

“Ahh, so he does have some spine, innit? Thanks, mate… but, there’s also one other thing I’m wondering,” she began anew, and the sudden onset of suspense was putting Fredrick on edge.

This didn’t seem like a normal, playful question.

Treading carefully, he asked:

“…Yeah? What’s that?”

Stella tenderly let her palms snake up Fred’s arms and firmly grip his shoulders. Her golden eyes bore into his own and at that moment, he felt that she could read his mind… see into his very thought process.

She lidded her eyes and flashed those fangs of hers… and with one last, deliberate movement, she flipped some of her mane out of her face.

“I’m wondering… when you’re gonna manufacture a proper ballbag on the assembly line and ask me out like you know you want to, hmmm?”

In an effort to curtail how surprised and stunned he had become in a small time interval, he did his best to stare back blankly… and though he was able to control his inner temperature, it did little to sway Stella’s accusations and superior ability to read others.

That, or he was just retarded, which was also likely.

Still, this few-seconds deliberation did nothing to detract from the sudden onset of awkwardness. What was he supposed to do? Just… go for it? He figured that half the charm came from her not expecting it. As a result, Fred tried one last time to salvage things in his favor.

“That’s an oddly specific wonder, I have to say.”

Naturally, Stella was less-than enthused at that response.

“Are you really gonna make me do this myself? I’m giving you wider opening than a fat whore’s fuckhole and you’re gonna throw dodgy sarcasm at me?”

She released his shoulders and crossed her arms under her chest.

“Look love, you can either take the initiative that you and I both know you want to, or I can do it m’self and it’ll be less fun, OR you can actually surprise me and prove me wrong… that you don’t actually like me,” she offered.

Fredrick’s eyes locked squarely with Stella’s, though this was interrupted when she tantalizingly leaned her trunk forward, exposing herself partially to him again.

She pressed the tip of her nose to his, and smiled quite knowingly.

“So, what’s it gonna be, dickead?”

There was absolutely no way out now. Fred had planned to drop the question during the middle of the next movie when both of them were much more tranquil, but it seems that fate, going by another alias ‘Stella Sabre,’ had other plans. As much as he did not care for the current situation to drop something pivotal (he was more than fine with her straddling him in any circumstance), it appeared that he’d just have to face the music and get this over with.

This would be simultaneously the most eventful yet uneventful courting, ever.

Fredrick looked away for a split second, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath to line up his thoughts.

“Hey Stella?” he asked.

The mare in question righted her posture to get a better look at the whole ‘happening.’ Her response was almost sarcastic.

“Hmmm? Oh! Yes Fredrick, how can I help you?”

Fredrick took in another breath, and like a child being forced to admit his crimes, he added:

“I’ve… kinda liked you for a little while now for many reasons, none of which I’ll get into right now. I was wondering if you’d let me take you out to dinner? Or do something out that you like?”

His words came out without a stutter or a hitch in his breath unlike he initially planned. Then again, Stella was quite literally extorting what he wanted to say out of him, so words weren’t really a problem anymore.

As for Stella, she tilted her head cutely to the left. Her tone of voice remained, annoyingly, exactly the same.

“Whaaaaa?? Fuuuck off~ you wanna take me out?” she asked, placing her hand on her chest. “As in… you want me to be your marefriend?”

“O-Okay are you seriously doing this right now?” Fred asked, expressionless.

This was not how any of this was supposed to go. Why did he expect anything to go according to plan with Stella?

“But my answer to your sudden question, Fredrick…” she continued, ignoring Fred’s little interjection.

“...is ‘what the fuck took you so long?’ Mate, I’ve been waiting for like, two months for ye tae make a move. I was gonna give you another two weeks before I fuckin’ did somethin’ about it!”

Fred genuinely looked curious at that statement.

“Wait, you mean you like me too?!”

Stella looked like she wanted to strangle him for stating the obvious.

“Fucking duh!” she exclaimed. “You think all the extra teasing was just because I felt like it? Nah mate. You told me that it’s usually the male who makes the first move on whatever place you're from; it’s not evenly split like us, or I’d’ve tried to snag you at least a month or two back, you idiot!”

Of all the things Stella had called him and others, ‘idiot’ was probably the most generous. Further, Fred had to stifle the urge to blurt out ‘why?’ in response to her assertion that she liked him in return.

And why did he feel like he was back in high school or some shit?

“Well… this is the most awkward yet not-awkward mutual-interest exchange I’ve ever been in,” he reflected out loud, running a hand over the back of his neck.

Stella was more than inclined to disagree with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Nah mate, shit’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Golden rule. But on a more important note...” she said, her voice becoming much softer.

Her entire visage seemed to soften, actually, and she cast a warm smile unto Fredrick, who could not help but return the sudden gesture.

“Dinner does sound nice, by the way,” Stella admitted.

Fred’s hands subconsciously regained their tender hold on her lower thighs.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, ending with a somewhat goofy grin of his own.

Jesus, is that it? Do I have a girlfriend now? Just like that? Where’re the butterflies and rainbows and shit? My tax dollars not at fucking work.

Stella nodded.

“Yeah, it does. I’ll think of something, don’t worry. But I feel there’s something more important I should let you know…”

Fred leaned his head back against the headboard, and unlike other times, he had no problems with holding eye contact.

“Whaddya mean?”

Stella placed a single lock of her mane behind her ear.

“It’s no secret I like to move fast with things; I’m not really shy about that aspect of my life with you,” she began.

Fred grumbled under his breath.

“Whoa, really?”

“Fuck off,” Stella addressed his less-than-public words. “Anyway, even so, I know that you’re… a little more cautious with things and life in general. Pussy.”

“Ayy.”

“Either way, I’m willing to slow things down for you. In the end, I honestly don’t think things will change much at first, but, being completely honest, if this works out, we’ll take things more at your pace. Alright?” she clarified.

Fred, however, was left with an amused smirk.

“Damn, Stel’. Never seen you so… emotional. And you’re getting right down to the fine print.”

“Oi!” the batpony barked. “I’m baring my fuckin’ soul here. This poofery is hard enough as it is for me without you poofing it up and takin’ the piss outta me, you fuckin’ poof!

“Ahem.

“Now, I believe here’s where I’m legally obligated to disclose something to you.”

That certainly caught the human off guard.

“Oh god… do I even wanna know?”

Stella lidded her eyes sensually…

...then slowly leaned in.

Is this bitch really…?

Still, he felt compelled to meet her half-way, and he angled his face towards her muzzle.

Only for her to immediately deny him and slip past his cheek, her mouth right by his ear. Thus, he was left with his lips slightly parted, looking like some schmuck who got denied a random kiss.

Figures.

“I have no issues taking shit slow,” she whispered into said ear with a massive, dimple-laden smile.

“But I suggest you strap in, ‘cause it’s gonna get fuckin’ weird, love. In the best of ways.”

As usual, Stella always had something else to add:

“But I promise that you’ll love every minute of it,” she concluded, and punctuated by flicking her tongue against his earlobe before pulling back entirely.

Fredrick, by all accounts, should’ve been jumping for joy right now. He got exactly what he wanted.

But his expressionless face played host to a profound uncertainty and an even stronger desire to know more about what Stella meant by her last words.

Oh Neptune…

5. Date Night (Gone Stella)

[Ten Days Later | Princess Luna’s Chambers]

“Oh joyous occasion!!” Luna bellowed, followed up by a squee as she wrapped Fredrick up tightly in her embrace with an accompanying yelp from him.

He had to viciously tap out on her shoulder as she was squeezing his chest cavity into his intestines with her alicorn strength… all which came to pass after he told her the news of the following night’s plans. Like Luna had predicted (though he did not divulge exactly how much of his hand was forced by Stella), the mare had said yes to his proposal.

And it was time to prepare for the first date night.

Luna finally released the hyperventilating human from the tight confines of her chest.

Oh the agony.

“So,” Luna began, clapping her hands together all giddy like. “I trust when you retrieve her in the morrow, that you shall go looking handsome and bearing a little something for her, yes?”

Hands behind his back, Fredrick, in casual clothes, nodded deeply to his demi-goddess of a friend with all the confidence he could muster.

“Wouldn’t dream of not doing it! It’s also how we did it back on Earth, so I was happy to hear that the practice was little different here,” he confirmed.

He then sat on the foot of her bed, gesturing with his hands as he revealed his further plans, and Luna joined him in kind.

“I figured my work clothes would be fine, so I’ll wear a set of those. Flowers are very much in style here, so in speaking with Celestia, she and I felt that the safest bet would be just that. The only issue with that is me not knowing what the hell her favorite flowers are.”

Luna adopted a much more condescending look, though Fred knew well that she meant nothing malicious by it… and in the end, he knew well that he was about to be told how wrong he was.

She chuckled audibly.

“Oh my sweet, coatless daywalker,” Luna said, cupping the right side of Fredrick’s face and stroking his cheek with her thumb as she got back to her hooves.

Smoothing out her less-formal, sleeveless dress, she sauntered straight towards her desk with a purpose.

And of course, Fredrick had to respond to that. Rolling his eyes, he fell back onto the bed, splaying his arms as he took the bait:

“Alright, I’ll bite. What am I doing wrong?”

Her back still turned to him, Luna’s silhouette was outlined pristinely by the bright moonlight from outside, showcasing her willing a bit of her magic into existence. Her ethereal touch grasped ahold of a spare piece of parchment paper and a quill.

Demonstrating her ability to multitask brilliantly, Luna called back over her shoulder whilsts scribbling:

“I am merely wondering whether or not you know your greatest friend… suddenly turned marefriend, as well as you should. I mean, flowers? Stella? Verily?” she questioned.

Fredrick snickered.

“Flowers for Stella. That’d be a best-selling book…”

“Hmmm?”

“N-Nothing, just talking to myself,” Fred quickly dismissed. “But okay fine, so maybe flowers are a bit… inappropriate for a mare like her. Okay.”

He then added with a sarcastic huff:

“What do you suggest for a first date presentation? Alcohol?”

Luna only glanced over her shoulder, eyebrow raised, and nodded very slowly.

“Ummm, yes? What else does she love to do… aside from threatening to rip your genitals off?”

Fred had to concede that point, at the very least.

“Fair. But I've gotten her alcohol all the time in the past, and she gets me the same. How would this be any different? I wanted it to be just a little more special this time around, ya know.”

Luna chuckled as she punctuated her markings on that slip of paper, turning to Fredrick and retaking her seat back on the bed.

“Oft giving of alcohol and giving alcohol as a pre-date offering are not mutually exclusive. And in this department, I truly wonder what you would do without me,” she said, jokingly chiding him whilst handing him that mysterious piece of paper with only four words on it.

“Here.”

Fredrick took the note between his fingers and reread those fateful words several times over, not finding them familiar in the slightest.

“‘Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie.’ Huh, never heard of it.”

Luna pursed her lips, not particularly surprised at Fred’s selective obliviousness.

“And that is why you’re a terrible friend,” she teased before elaborating.

“This is Stella’s absolute favorite alcohol, produced only in her home of the Northern Mountain Range. You shall find a sufficient-sized bottle at the alcohol shoppe next to the theater on Chrysanthemum Way.”

Fredrick struggled to contain a hearty giggle at his out-of-touch friend’s expense.

“‘Ye olde alcohol shoppe?’ Jesus, Luna we really gotta bring you up to speed on the modern concept of a fucking liquor store,” he declared, turning loose his laughter once he witnessed Luna widen her eyes and roll them comically.

Then, she tilted her head towards him, laying her cheek on her shoulder. Fred could sense the impending cheek about to ooze from her mouth.

“It would be wise not to play the condescending age card with me, my love,” she began, crossing her legs and facing him in full with a cocky smirk.

“I have had sex which lasted longer than your entire expected lifespan, while you would be so lucky to get your dick swallowed at a house of ill repute on a Friday evening,” the Lunar Princess painfully shot back, emphasizing more modern wordage she had picked up.

Fred had absolutely nothing to come back to that with, if his recoiled head was anything to go by. He just got dunked on by a mare who had been absent for a thousand years. He deserved whatever fate brought him at this point.

He held both of his hands up with a traumatized look.

“Okay, I’ll admit defeat there but fuck me you went straight for the jugular.”

Luna shrugged with that impish smile that betrayed her princessly image.

“I must keep you grounded somehow! Nevermind that, however. You just focus on purchasing the largest bottle of this that you may find. It is somewhat pricy, but since I know for a fact that my sister pays you well for your skills… and further, I never see you spend money on quite literally anything, I’m most certain you can manage.

“And trust me, Fredrick. You will receive unfathomable amounts of favor with her for such a simple gesture that you take for granted,” she said, gesticulating marvelously.

Fredrick, in jest, looked from the note, back to Luna… then back to the note, and back to Luna.

“Alright… I’m trusting you here…”

“Oh stow your tongue, you. When have I ever steered you wrong?”

One instance came to his mind.

“When you helped Stella prank me two months ago, actually,” Fred noted casually.

He reminisced about that very time when he came back from Celestia’s office after a long day… only to find his entire room and belongings coated in an invisible, magical field that would deliver a nasty static shock when he touched it, as well as massive, randomly exploding party poppers at odd hours of the day and night.

Fred dealt with that for the greater part of the next week until the effects wore off entirely.

Luna blew him a raspberry as she flopped back on her bed, arms stretched overhead. Fred quickly joined her in similar flair and fashion.

“You really are no fun sometimes, you know that? If it would make you feel better, I could possibly help you in a counter-prank against her in say, two weeks?” Luna offered.

At first, Luna had Fredrick’s curiosity. Now she had his attention.

“A counter-prank?” Fred asked, his voice a couple octaves higher.

Luna nodded once, and Fred turned to face her completely on his side, more than curious about Luna’s little offer.

“Do tell~... and preferably not something that would get me broken up with immediately.”

The Lunar Princess giggled maniacally and mirrored Fredrick’s body position. She blinked once and Fred was instantly lost in those deep, reflective pools of teal that were her gorgeous eyes… eyes framed by immaculately curled lashes that only masked the faux sense of immaturity she was putting forth with sophisticated, radiant beauty.

“Tell me, are you familiar with a certain flower known as ‘Poison Joke?’”

It was little secret that Stella was head over heels, balls deep in her job.

Soldiering was the life for her, and she did not think her duties as a royal lunar guard could have become any more involved or intriguing… Until she got a promotion to lieutenant. Then things became just so. Gone were the days of being a grunt, and in place, she received more than just a modicum of power; she was in charge of an entire platoon now. Of course, this came with all the flair of some upgraded armor, more badges and stripes on her soldier’s uniform, and a requisite (and nice) pay raise. But even more than that, it came with another sense of enormous pride for her, as well as leadership that she so craved.

Contrary to what one might think of her leadership abilities solely based on her attitude, she had developed a generally love/hate rapport with her subordinates overall. Despite it having been barely a month of leading, it had become somewhat of a rite of passage amongst the enlisted troops to get their asses chewed out by her at least once.

Asking any of them would reveal that Stella’s sterling record spoke for itself. Stella herself, in response, would openly claim this was because nopony had the balls to take her to a superior for being ‘too harsh.’

Regardless, she made sure her unit was taken care of and that she showed them just how much pride she had in them.

“You. Fucking. Cockwomble.”

Well… most of the time.

Stella, in standard lunar armor sans helmet, had her platoon lined up in the rally hall in the heart of the barracks. It was exactly that: a place to organize the troops and deploy out from within the lunar barracks, so it was inherently a spartan, flat room of nothingness.

As of right now, the foul-mouthed mare’s sights were locked straight onto her taller, lead Sergeant’s face… laced with indignation that could write novels.

“What did I ask you to do for me, Sergeant Nova?” she asked pointedly.

The armored-up stallion went completely red in the face as he attempted to give his explanation.

“Y-You asked for a list of, ummmm… A list of underperforming guards from my squad, Ma’am.”

Stella nodded once, her eyes playing host to a mare who would tolerate nothing today.

“Aye. I wanted a simple report of ‘who’ and ‘why.’ Well? Where’s my fuckin’ report?”

“I… M-Ma’am… I d-don’t have it.”

Stella groaned, digging her fingers into her temples.

“I swear to Luna’s luscious tits… Nightshade let you get away with a lot of fuckassery when he was in command, but you fuckin’ bet yer bollocks that if you fuck me on this again,” she growled, baring her teeth.

The sergeant sunk lower in his posture in the wake of her growing irritation. She got right in his face.

“...you better drop yer pink frilly fuckin’ knickers ‘cause my fist’ll be going in so dry I’ll start a fuckin’ fire. I will do things to yer asshole that that’re banned under international treaties. Is that clear?!”

The sergeant nodded weakly, gulping nice and hard.

“Y-Yes Lieutenant Sabre.”

“I ASKED ‘IS IT CLEAR,’ FUCKWIT?!” Stella roared.

Even her other troops flinched harshly. And quite the lot of them wore expressions of the deepest pity imaginable for one of their noncoms. It was also neither confirmed nor denied that two stallions and a mare actually shit themselves at Stella’s imperious bellowing.

“Y-YES IT’S CLEAR, MA’AM!” the offending stallion sternly replied, immediately snapping back to attention as well.

Stella righted her own posture and folded her arms behind her back, huffing. That snagglefang that Fredrick always found so cute this time emphasized her signature ‘bollocking face.’

After acknowledgment, she had one last polite ‘suggestion.’

“Good. And for that, you can take yer squad down the mountain and back up here before they’re dismissed. Sound good?”

“Yes, Lieutenant…”

She nodded once.

“Aye.”

She then addressed her less-than thrilled subordinates under Nova’s direct command, though with an odd, prideful smirk and her head held high:

“Unfortunate, laddies an’ lassies, but that’s how ya know it works in the military: yer cockup is everypony else’s cockup. I won’t have insubordination in me ranks, but feel free to give Nova dirty looks and sarcasm whilst you follow his commands. If he gives you shit for it, lemme know in confidence.”

Then came the immediate, coed, uniform and unison reply:

“Ma’am, yes Ma’am!”

“Very well. Nova, it’s your lucky day! I’ve got a hot date tonight so I expect that report dropped through my personal mail flap by midnight tonight!” Stella ordered.

Then, she narrowed her eyes.

“And if you keep this shit up, you can piss off back to the Border Guard and go back to getting spitroasted by Zebra’s an’ Changeling agents.”

Stella thumbed towards the exit.

“Now fuck off, the lot of you.”

From all her order concerned, a unified salute was returned before they all filed out of the rally hall, ready to get a head start on their early-dusk, unprecedented exercise.

Stella watched her ten soldiers file out in two straight lines, and once the sound of their boots droned out of earshot, she faced the rest of her platoon with a much softer, gentler expression.

She began pacing up the line, left arm folded behind her back and gesturing with her right as she spoke:

“As the rest of you lot know, after the initial warm-up exercises and rally, tonight is not our night to either be on station, on patrol, nor to drill.

“SO!” Stella grinned giddily, turning on her left hoof to face her troops, doing her best to make eye contact with all of them as she continued to speak.

“I’d just like to say that in spite of what you all just witnessed, you all are progressing marvelously. Platoon performance is up considerably since last month, and rest assured… those of you who do need that extra wee bit o’ help will get it. You’re fuckups, but you’re my fuckups. That’s an important distinction, mind you.

“That being said, you’re all dismissed!”

Again, she thumbed towards the exit.

“Now you lot fuck off,” Stella gave her last command of the night to a round of chuckling and some hearty claps.

She filed out with the rest of her platoon, exchanging a few handshakes and high-fives (and a couple of ass slaps for the willing mares) but ultimately separated from them to slink into her room. She had planned her regimen today to coincide its ending with twenty-minutes after sunset, which would be exactly when Fred would arrive to fetch her for their little evening together.

Stella reflected on this as she shut herself in her room and, with one fluid motion, shed her entire armor set. She specifically made sure to take part in as little physical exercise as possible today (deciding to be more authoritarian with her commanding this time) so she would not break much a sweat, and consequently, would not have to shower.

She was pretty much as clean as she was after she bathed upon waking, and Stella confirmed this for herself whilst standing in front of her bed in a rather bland black bra and panties.

No really, she smelt fine.

Seriously.

“More than passable,” she declared with a shrug, staring herself down in the mirror and posing in odd positions to determine presentability. That did not take long, and after splashing some water on her face and ensuring coat and mane (in its usual, perfect ponytail form courtesy of going helmetless this evening) were in order, Stella was ready to throw some clothes on.

Now this was the hard part. She normally did not care what she wore, or only cared because she would get a rise out of Fredrick. Now, she actually had a desire to look nice by hers and his standards.

Stella had a little bit of time left, so she stood with her hip cocked, chin resting in the crook of her thumb and index finger as she stared into her small, meticulously organized closet.

Short sleeve?

Blouse?

Tank top?

Midriff? Nah THAT can fuck right off.

She waved her hand around indecisively, furrowing her brow before said hand just happened to fall on one of her tank tops. With her decision made, she snatched out the soft-teal (Fred’s favorite color) garment and wasted little time in pulling it over her upper half. Unlike her loose, sleeping one that she used to draw the human’s attention last week, this one was much more form-fitting and appropriate for an outing. There were thin vertical ribs that ran from collar to hem… which widened tantalizingly when the fabric stretched in kind over the peaks of her chest.

A simple pair of short shorts would go with this, and that was easily accomplished with a few shameless shimmies as she pulled them up over her butt. Doing up the button and zipper and feeding her tail through the rear, Stella placed her left hand on her hip and had herself another look upon the mare in the mirror…

...after adding just a touch of eyeliner.

That mare who stared back was identical… yet maybe just a smidge more reserved than normal. Her eyes drew across her own form with an extra scrutiny that she only afforded to herself when armored or suited up. She paid careful attention to just how well her body played with her current clothes, tracing her noticeable yet in no way overbearing curves through the snug fit of her tank and shorts. Her tail swayed gently with the cadence of her natural breathing, in tandem with her subtly heaving chest as she quite literally stared herself down… searching for even the most minute of imperfections.

Her arms sported that sexy muscle tone that she knew many fawned over, and knowing that Fredrick had a bit of a thing for ‘fit girls,’ as he said, Stella was more than eager to capitalize on that.

She stuck her butt out and flexed her arms in a strongmare fashion with one of those cheeky smiles of hers… then quickly devolved into raucous laughter at the ridiculousness of her antics.

Shaking her head after recomposing, she whispered to herself:

“Fuck’s gotten into ya? You’re hot and he’s always found you hot.”

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

Eh?

Stella glanced at the room’s clock, reading the time exactly eight-o’clock, as had been agreed upon.

She glanced back at herself in the mirror.

“Guess you lost track o’ time being a vain cunt… though you’re lookin’ awesome,” she softly spoke to herself, winking at her reflection and then gliding towards her door.

Taking a single moment, Stella smoothed out her tank and pulled it taut against her body before beaming her usual smile and throwing open the door with great flair.

Fredrick took one last, deep breath, steeling himself for the excitement of the moment.

Those butterflies in his stomach did well to act appropriately for the situation; that tingling sensation within him refused to quit. It did not deter him in the slightest, however, and Fred was as resolved as ever to make sure tonight went well. This was his best friend, after all. In his experience, he felt there was more at risk than if this was just with some random mare he met a week ago… he and Stella had a short but admittedly already accumulated history thus far.

Dressed in black slacks, an emerald dress shirt and coordinating tie, Fred ran a single hand through his dutifully parted brown hair and made sure that there was nothing out of place for tonight. He knew Stella would not mind; this was essentially just two best friends heading out for dinner… but still, there was just a little more meaning behind this evening, and as such, Fredrick would like to look and play the part.

He held Stella’s little gift behind his back securely with both of his hands… along with some extra ‘Fredrick’ presentation.

Relax.

You’re calm.

It’s just Stella.

You’re fucking ZEN right now.

Let’s go.

So, he delivered three firm knocks unto the door and waited patiently, shifting back and forth on his heels and toes as he waited for a response. His eyes glanced around, and two guards happened to pass him by, one mare and one stallion. Though not in uniform, both certainly-in-military-grade-shape gave him odd looks based on his attire as well as what he had behind him… and whose room he was standing in front of.

Fredrick was polite enough to return the patented ‘white man smile.’

His attention was instantly forced back towards Stella’s room when the door was flung open, revealing the mare in question dressed up and ready to go.

Her arms were flung outwards and that smile of hers promised good times ahead.

“Awrite there, handsome! Right on fuckin’ time, you predictable twat you!” she greeted.

“Hey! Definitely not looking bad, yourself… you, ummm, unpredictable slag, you,” Fred replied in kind, his eyes instantly drawn to her choice of attire for the evening.

He also could not help but notice that the vertically ribbed tank top she was sporting was exactly his favorite color. Fred had to wonder if she went out and bought it just for him, or if she just happened to have one lying around. The world may never know, and he felt safe in assuming she just had one to spare.

Combined with her ever meticulously maintained ponytail, Stella looked undeniably beautiful and, well, Stella-esque. Yet, the less-casual tank top added a sense of extra sophistication to her visage.

And that was a word he never thought he’d use to describe her.

Stella’s face lit up brightly with a jovial giggle.

“Hey! You’re broadening yer vocabulary… this pleases me!” she said.

She was about to bound forward and throw her arms around Fredrick but she saw the subtle shift of his right arm behind his back and stopped in her tracks. Further, her ear flicked when she heard the gentle sound of crinkling plastic…

...thin plastic that often came with the wrappings of a bouquet of flowers.

She shot him a wide-eyed, disbelieving look, and Fred stared back with a high-lipped smug face.

“Did… did you fuckin’ get me something?”

Fred didn’t answer, but kept that same, infuriating face which told Stella everything she needed to possibly know.

“You actually fuckin’ did. And you bought me, flowers, didn’t ye?” Stella nearly demanded.

Same response from Fred.

The thestral chuckled, and then giggled… and then legitimately laughed out loud, placing her right hand on Fred’s shoulder for support.

His look never wavered in the slightest.

She recomposed herself and locked her eyes with his, donning a much softer, warmer expression.

“Heh, the sentiment is appreciated but seriously mate, you didn’t have to get me anything fer tonight. And I hate to say it, but I’m not really a whole ‘flowers’ kinda ma—”

Fredrick dutifully kept his expression fixed, but with some sleight of hand that neither of them knew he was capable of, he revealed his present to her: a massive bouquet wrapping, but instead of flowers holstered inside, there was an equally gargantuan, familiar bottle of alcohol resting on tissue paper at its center.

Stella’s eyes went comically wide and her jaw dropped immediately. Her final word from her sentence droned on as her mind became muddled at an instant.

“—aaaaaare…”

Stella, dumbstruck and on the verge of salivating at the mere sight of the label, flicked her eyes between the bottle and Fredrick.

The human presented it forward, and having gotten the reaction from Stella that he was hoping for, his expression morphed into a much warmer one… one much more fitting for a beautiful mare.

“Just a little something for you.”

Then, the unsuspecting human witnessed something that he had never once seen in the entire tenure of their friendship.

She blushed. And Fredrick had to cough into his hand to mask laughter when Stella tried to cover it up.

She glanced everywhere but at him, and her cute gratitude turned into light protest:

“Umm… Yeah, uh. Thanks love. You eh, heh you really didn't have to. I mean, haha whod’ve thought you'd bring me my favorite fuckin’ alcohol in the world you bastard this shit’s expensive!”

Fred rolled his eyes, huffing out with a gentle snicker.

“Oh don’t change the goddamn subject. That doesn’t matter in the slightest. It’s for you,” Fred insisted, handing Stella the ‘bouquet bottle’ completely.

The mare took the giant alcohol container and held it close to her chest for a moment… then locked eyes with her best friend.

“This… erm,” she began, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. “This is one of the nicest fuckin’ things anyone’s ever fuckin’ gotten for me.”

The two shared a small ‘moment’ before Stella set the bottle down on the inside of the door and closed it behind her.

“Tell me, love. You fuck on the first date?”

“Wait… what?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just talking to myself,” Stella covered her previous words, finally throwing her arms around the human and planting a peck on his cheek.

The odd duo pressed their cheeks together and just held each other for a small while. Little moments like these were cherished by both of them equally as much; a sense of ‘calm before and after the banter,’ as it were. With Stella’s arms wrapped around Fred’s back and his around her waist, the two relished in the unspoken comfort that the other brought them, and though moments like these were commonplace, this time was different. This time there was some extra emotion and feeling packaged with the general shipment of friendship.

“Alright,” Stella said, breaking off and gesturing towards the exit.

“Let’s go.”

“Got somewhere in mind?” Fred asked, quickly falling into step with her on her left.

Much to his surprise, Stella slinked right up next to him and, ever so nonchalantly, linked her left hand with his right. Now it was his turn to blush, though thankfully the batpony mare wasn’t paying much attention.

“Oh you fuckin’ know it! Come on!”

“WHOA!”

Fredrick was promptly yanked out of the barrack’s entrance by an exuberant Stella, dragging him off into the early evening.

“So, lemme get this straight,” Fred began with an incredulous tone over the hustle and bustle of the restaurant.

The two sat side by side at the expansive bar in the center.

“You hype up the night, our first date, mind you… and it’s quite literally the same place that we went to last time. You wanted to come back here? Really??”

Indeed, it was the exact same restaurant. Nothing had changed much in the span of about two weeks, and that was to be expected. Their circular bar sat right at the center of the establishment, while booths lined the perimeter. The rest of the floor was used for dancing to the surprisingly not-annoying music, along with the dim ambient lighting. One advantage of the latter was that Stella’s eyes were magnificently brought out by the darkness.

Stella set her drink down after downing half of it in one gulp, and she replied simply and with an accompanying nod.

“Aye.”

Fred pondered this for a few moments, facing forward and taking a couple of sips from his glass all the while.

“Fair enough I guess.”

Stella fluttered her eyelashes back at him and scooted her chair closer so their arms could brush up against one another. The silence was comfortable, though both parties could sense a slight awkwardness in the air. Neither were here for just a friendly dinner, after all.

“So… ummm,” Fred spoke up again, drawing Stella’s attention. “Lovely weather we’re having.”

Stella had to stifle her laughter right on the spot.

“PFFT fuck you,” she riposted.

Fredrick joined in on the mutual snickering as well, but ran his hand over her forearm before continuing.

“Nah I’m just fucking with you… but we’re on our, well, first date I guess. What’s interesting is that the purpose of these is to usually get to know one another. But I think we know each other pretty well,” Fred voiced.

Stella tilted her head to him, a lone eyebrow raised.

“I let you know what I want you to know about me. Mate.”

Fredrick returned the facial expression, nodding yet quite visibly unconvinced.

“Right. Considering you never shut up when we’re together, talking about anything that runs through that mind of yours. I’d say I’ve got a pretty good working knowledge about you.”

Stella slowly shook her head, that same confident look never abating.

“Heh, right. Whatever helps you wank off at night,” she added.

“Besides, I have something much better in mind for tonight,” she declared.

She brought the rim of her glass to her mouth and shotgunned the rest of her drink but suddenly went wide-eyed. Her attempts to look ‘in control’ died spectacularly when she launched into a coughing fit, the remnants of her drink having gone down the wrong pipe in her carefree act.

Of course, Fredrick would be a terrible friend if he didn’t find the ordeal hysterical... and so he began laughing at her expense. Stella, in response while still in the midst of hacking up her lungs, returned the middle finger to him. This gesture was not native to Equestria, but it was one of the first things that Fred had taught her in their little ‘cultural exchange.’

Cheekily alluding back to the implicit question, he asked:

“So. You were saying?”

Stella took a few deep breaths.

“I’m okay… I’m okay.

“And, as I was saying, we know enough about each other. Fuck small talk. Let’s go dance!”

Fredrick stared at her, blinking, whilst Stella had already dismounted her stool and dramatically offered her hand.

“Wait… Really? Since when can you dance??”

Stella cocked her head, sighing out before delivering her response, her voice gradually raising a few octaves:

“Since the last seven fuckin’ times I've told you that me parents forced me through dance classes fer eleven years and didn't I tell you tae clean out the fuckin’ cum from yer ears?” she asked.

The memories of her telling him those details came back to him, but Fredrick was still a bit uneasy. Dancing was not really high on his ‘particular set of skills’ list.

Still, what was a little spontaneity in his life? That's one of the reasons he wanted to date Stella so badly, right?

Fredrick returned a half-smirk, getting off his stool and grasping Stella’s hand. Responding with some friendly snark, he said:

“Guess I don't have much choice, huh?”

Stella blinked, then smiled warmly as she closed the distance between the two of them. Looking up at Fredrick, she ran her fingers tenderly through his hair.

“My dear Fredrick, you always have a choice. You get to choose how ye say ‘yes.’ Say it in a different language, an accent. Go crazy with it,” she said, lidding her eyes and flashing her teeth.

Fredrick pressed his tongue into his cheek, chuckling at his arms being tied, though it wasn’t really a burden on him. Of course he’d dance with this mare if she asked… or implicitly ordered him to.

He finally grasped her hand.

“So, you’re saying I can dance if I want to. But you’re not gonna leave me behind.”

Stella rolled her eyes, leading him away from the bar.

“Aye, but if I let you choose, you’ll say ye don’t dance. And if ye don’t dance, you’re no fuckin’ coltfriend of mine, mate.”

“Alright~... but just as a forewarning, I actually can’t dance worth a goddamn,” Fred pointed out.

Stella continued dragging Fred into some free space on the dance floor, undeterred.

“You can learn by doing. Just follow me lead and don’t step on me fuckin’ hooves, ya feet-havin’ cunt.”

Fredrick sighed exaggeratedly once they found a suitable spot, surrounded by other fun-loving ponies.

“Ehhh, yeah~ I get that alot.”

Stella released his hand and kept those bright eyes of hers trained squarely on Fredrick, the latter who beared witness to the mare getting right down to it once the new song started up.

He was already engrossed by her opening movements. Stella placed all emphasis of her fluid, experienced dancing in slow, dynamic moves through her legs, arms, and hips. While Fred tried to get his two left feet going to the admittedly catchy beat, he was having a hell of a time with this gorgeous creature in front of him opting for more sensual, sexy technique just for him.

He and Stella both knew that.

And Fredrick was taken completely when Stella ended her little set with running a single hand up her leg, over her butt, and over her chest, ending at her chin.

Just for him.

Fuck. Me.

The worst part was: she probably wasn’t even trying. Stella always had a subtle gracefulness about her. He had seen her perform in sparring matches and hand-to-hand combat and noted how in-control she was at all times. Perhaps dancing from a young age as a forced hobby helped hone this skill of hers… and the more Fred lent credence to this, the more it seemed to make sense.

She sashayed to the beat closer to him, leaving barely two inches between the two of them.

“You alright, mate? Lookin’ a bit red over here,” she so cheekily noted, continuing to sway to the rhythm.

“W-Well yeah. Look at you. Show-off.”

“Not even!” Stella replied running her fingers from face to hips.

“So! You’re a soldier, you can dance, and I know you enjoy karaoke though I’ve never heard you sing… I’m sure you can. What else can you do that you haven’t fuggin’ told me??” Fred wondered.

The two took each other’s hands for a few moments, circling one another before separating again.

“I told you, mate! You know only what I let you know,” she said, winking. “I’m a mare o’ many talents!”

That smug smile of hers never seemed to dissipate; perhaps this was Fred’s punishment for similar treatment when he gifted her her favorite alcohol. Regardless, he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Stella had some words of encouragement for him, and she leaned her mouth close to his ear.

“Just get the figurative buttplug outta yer arse and find a rhythm. Don’t have to look professional so long as yer havin’ fun! Now actually dance with me, twatboy!”

Apparently that’s all it took. Shrugging, Fred decided to, as Stella suggested, have fun with it. He poorly copied moves and technique that he had seen in the past, as well as things meant to invoke laughter… which they did from the mare. It was an odd sight to see for any who might’ve been watching at the moment.

Nopony was.

Fredrick had absolutely no technique to his name, while Stella was as fluid and graceful as ever; a true natural and a seductress at that. He had already dwelled upon it previously, but the way her body moved in that fitted tank top and those shorts…

Just… MMPH!

As the songs went by, and little breaks came and went, the two managed to work up a tiny sweat from not only the physical exertion, but the blush that accumulated in both of their cheeks as well as the overall stuffy environment, since more ponies had filtered in.

Not that they cared.

“You’re right!” Stella shouted out in the middle of the third song, drawing herself in close again.

“Hmm?” Fred asked, in the midst of a terrible interpretation of the robot.

“You can’t fuckin’ dance!”

Fred broke out into brief guffaw, throwing his head back.

“Told you! But you’re also right… I’m having a lot of fun here with you!”

Stella performed a cute little twirl with the aid of her tail for some extra flair, then quickly stole a peck on Fred’s cheeks.

“Likewise!” she said in return, trotting tantalizingly away to the drum beat, just out of Fred’s reach.

This did not help the fact that Fred had to call upon enormous control to keep his boner at a reasonable level. Seeing a mare whom he was close with emotionally, and one who harbored all the physical traits he adored dancing so sultrily was not an easy feat to overcome in this regard.

“You’re being a real tease right now, you know!” Fred noted.

Stella fluttered her lashes, again twirling into Fredrick and planting her ass right onto his crotch, which forced his breath to catch in his throat. The batpony angled her face properly so that she could glance up at him, her lips grazing the front of his cheeks with one hand on the nape of his neck.

“Am I?” she asked oh-so innocently, adding a pointed wiggle to her backside.

Fred’s hands fell naturally to the front of her hips and held her there, though that confidence was merely a reflection of reflex, rather than him taking extreme initiative. He was doing all he could to make sure he did not sperg out at the moment. Again, it wasn’t that he had not been with women in the past in an intimate manner, but goddamn none of them were as overt or forward as Stella was… not by a long shot.

An incredible blessing, and often a hilarious curse all the same.

“Y-You’re not helping your case here,” Fred replied.

He masked his little word-slip and stutter quite well, but of course, Stella always had to have the last word.

She angled her head back and made a little chomping motion right next to his ear.

“Be a good human and keep having fun with me tonight, an’ I’ll show ya real teasing.”

She pressed her butt much more firmly into him, and made sure that she could feel what lay underneath those trousers right where she wanted it. That’s when she pushed off of him and returned to her initial position just in front of him.

As for Fred, he was about to add some witty reply to that when he witnessed Stella accidentally bump into a mauve-coated pegasus mare who was dancing behind her.

“Whoa! Whoops! Sorry ‘bout that, mate!” Stella apologized over her shoulder.

“S’all good, girl!” the mare replied with a smile.

It should’ve ended there. But both Fred and Stella heard her add a few more words:

“Just watch where you’re dancing, next time!”

Fred pursed his lips and looked away the moment those words left the unfortunate mare’s mouth.

Oh hell…

Stella turned a confused face back toward the mare, and delivered her counter in an ever nonrelenting string of profanity quintessential of the thestral:

“I said I was sorry. My bad. Don’t get yer panties in a fuckin’ tussle over it, aye? Now shut your fuckin’ gob an' fuck off before I staple yer tits to the fuckin’ counter with yer own fuckin’ teeth you cunt!”

The mare’s face went absolutely blank at those words, and quickly turned around back towards her onlooking group.

Mercy… What a woman!

About-facing in a way Stella always knew how, her bright, giddy smile instantly bounded back from an expression that threatened hellfire.

“Now…” she began, gripping the human’s hands and pressing herself flush against him. Their mouths were an inch apart and the two could practically feel the heat radiating off of each other.

“Where were we?”

Thankfully, no more incidents happened that evening, which allowed Fredrick and Stella to dance the night away with one another… or, at least a fair portion of the night. An early start meant that the two of them were done by half-past one in the morning. Any drinks that either of them had seemed to have no effect on one another, but that was not an issue at all.

They kept each other warm on the small journey home.

The giddy—dare they both say, stricken—couple, glided back through the main castle entrance with nary a single care to their collective names.

Engulfed in rapturous laughter from a story from Earth that Fred had concluded, he and Stella leaned into each other with a vague sense of coherence and understanding of the world around them. To say that the night had gone well would be a gross miscarriage of the Equestrian language… and to both the human and the thestral’s great surprise, they felt even closer than they originally were!

And all things considered, that was pretty close.

Stella still dutifully cuddled Fred’s right hand in her left, their shoulders supporting one another as they strode mindlessly towards their destination.

A textbook case of ‘high on life.’

“So yeah. That was the second time I almost got killed because of my dipshit best friend,” Fred recalled the conclusion to his ‘stunning story,’ much to Stella’s contagious amusement.

Which, by that token, did not help her giggling fit at all. The mare snickered heartily to the heavens with a shamelessly open mouth, allowing Fredrick to guide her uncharacteristically sober body back towards her barracks. She had always found Fred funny; their senses of humor meshed quite well, after all, which aided in no small part to their titanium-grade bond.

But tonight, he seemed extra funny. She had a small idea as to why that was.

She wiped under her eyes.

“Hehe, never knew you of all ponies were such a risk taker! Did yer appetite fer adventure as well as yer ballsack evaporate on the trip over?”

Fred huffed, leaning in a bit more and fielding his sarcasm with a smirk that just wouldn’t quit on account of the night’s events:

“That joke gets funnier when you repeat it three times a day, you know.”

“Mhmm!” Stella nodded cutely. “Didn’t I tell you not tae question my methods of endearment, you fuck?”

“Right. I totally forgot about that,” Fred added, sarcasm dripping from his mouth.

This allowed for an easy change of subject.

“Had an awesome time tonight, by the way. Hope you did too…” he voiced.

His company nuzzled her cheek into his, wrapping her arms around his midsection with what sounded strikingly like a coo.

“Oh believe me,” Stella replied. “I had a wonderful evening with you.”

Fred was not able to come back to that, though. Stella, right then, stood ramrod.

“Oh!” Stella chimed in. “That reminds me, come here, I need to show you something,” she said, dragging him by the hand yet again to wherever they were going. They deviated from the path to the Lunar Barracks slightly, and oddly enough, the batpony led the two of them to an abandoned capillary archway.

By nature, there was absolutely nothing… and the time of night ensured that nopony was around at all.

“Umm, so what’s over here?” Fred asked, turning to his mare.

The latter, however, only donned a much sultrier gaze, those golden eyes being veiled by her eyelids as well as those perfect bangs of hers. Her bright smile disappeared behind her lips of that lascivious grin, and she advanced upon him.

Sexy? Oh hell yes.

Somehow terrifying? One can imagine.

“Uhhh, Stella?”

No answer from her. Instead, she spoke with actions, placing her hands on his shoulders and pressing him into the stony wall with that same lustful look. Further adding to it, she pressed herself up against him, making sure her chest was nicely wedged into his, whilst never breaking eye contact up at him.

She bit her lower lip with that little tooth of hers, and Fredrick was made aware of their mouths being less than an inch apart. Their hot breathing broke upon each other’s faces like steam in a shower, raising their internal temperatures into the heavens.

Fred’s hands fell onto her lower back.

Both knew what was happening at the moment… what they both wanted, courtesy of Stella’s foray into the field of initial intimacy. Hell, even so, Fred had been simultaneously craving yet dreading this moment. First kisses were still a sort of ‘first impression,’ as it were. And from this gut feeling he was getting, and that subtle message of ‘lust’ being conveyed through those large, golden orbs of hers, this was no trick. This was no prank, and this was no tease.

This was the real thing, one which he didn’t want to screw up.

And in following Luna’s advice, as well as the advice he gave to himself which worked with other (few) women in his life, it was the perfect time to take initiative.

Alright, you’ve done this many times before.

This is Stella… you’ve been wanting this for a good while now.

Do it. Kiss her. Just fucking do it.

JUST.

DO IT.

Fredrick cupped Stella’s cheeks in his hands and pulled her face to his, pressing his lips to hers firmly, yet delicately. That warmness that both of them had felt the entire evening was, at an instant, multiplied by unquantifiable factors.

Stella’s eyes went from wide to shut in mere milliseconds as she took over, deepening the kiss that Fredrick had been so brave to initiate first. The human switched their positioning, pressing Stella up against the wall whilst their lips did all the glorious work. They did not separate their craving mouths after the first fifteen seconds… instead, they merely opened them to inhale the air they both so desperately needed, affording them less distance to smash their lips together anew. Blushes returned full force, and upon recharging their lung reserves for the fourth time in about a minute and a half, they were back at it, this time with a much more aggressive thestral.

Months of straight-up denial and teasing were brought to the forefront. From every smack of their gentle separations, to their coos of delight and gentle moans of pleasure from whenever they would reconnect to each other’s warmth… the fledgeling couple was every-bit as consummated in their friendship and new relationship as they had hoped to be.

Fredrick’s hands roamed back down to her lower back and evoked a little shiver from the mare. In response, Stella raised her right knee and wrapped her leg around the human’s waist, keeping him right where he was. By the same function, her arms were wrapped right around his neck, with her fingers pressing into his nape, and alternating with playing with his hair.

Stella wished to press her tongue forward and taste him completely. Hell, she had to resist the urge to shove herself down his throat the moment he made first contact. That could come later though.

This was more than satisfying at the moment, especially when Fredrick’s hands dipped lower onto her butt, giving her cheeks a firm squeeze.

That forced her to separate immediately for air.

“Hah! Heh…” Stella chuckled, and Fred was in similar straits.

Their cheeks were flushed furiously, eyes lidded and maintaining perfect contact with their counterparts. Stella’s bangs continued to give her that almost primal look, carnal pleasure building up within her and appearing to demand release through those bright, golden eyes of hers.

“Looks like you grew a fuckin’ pair, eh?” she fielded the rhetorical question, licking her lips and running her tongue emphatically over her top fangs.

“Heh… Was tired of you taking all the glory,” Fredrick responded, pressing his nose into hers, a gesture both of them appreciated in the moment.

“So,” Stella began anew, lowering her leg yet retaining a single arm’s hold on Fred. “Wanna come back tae my room?”

Fredrick gulped, but still loosed a post-kiss-fueled laugh.

“You’re not tired yet???”

Stella cocked that silly eyebrow of hers, flashing him a knowing smile.

“Whaddya think this is? Some children’s movie where we kiss and fuck off on our separate ways? Fuck that. The night’s still young. Again, wanna come back to my room, have something to drink, and make out some more?” she proposed a counter offer.

Fredrick couldn’t and wouldn’t argue with that option, and his eyes seemed to gleam at her words.

“Well, hot diggity hell yes!”

Author's Note

HE DID IT. HE FUKKIN' DID IT.

THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN.

6. Making Out Is Nice, But Have You Had Garlic Bread?

6. Making Out Is Nice, But Have You Had Garlic Bread?

Author's Note 1: Dropped the lewd tag idea. [Clop] tag on the chapter will only be reserved for actual clop.

“Jesus, Stel’. You’re definitely not pulling any punches tonight,” Fred voiced with mild concern between his snickering fits at her last comment.

Stella shrugged, uncaring.

“Nae I don’t see a problem. I think calling her an ‘unripened vegetable’ is a very fair, very legitimate comparison to get across just how fuckin’ retarded she is.”

Fredrick wheezed, shaking his head as the two leaned into one another’s body heat via their shoulders.

It was safe to say that the night had gone spectacularly.

Fredrick and Stella both mutually and silently agreed that any outing that ends with two individuals slinking away and making out for a couple of minutes ranked pretty highly on the ‘good nights’ scale. Even better, the night did not have to end right then, especially since the thestral—exuberant as ever—had a much better idea than to part ways for the remainder of the evening.

“Here, now try this shit,” Stella offered, changing the subject and presenting her glass to Fredrick right next to her.

The two were leaned up against the headboard, arm-to-arm on her bed, and the batpony had made it her first priority to prepare a drink of her newly gifted alcohol.

Fredrick took the iced glass in his hand and examined the liqueur, noting its deep namesake sapphire color… which he had to admit, looked ‘really fuckin’ cool like, holy shit.’

“Alright, let’s see if this ‘Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie’ lives up to your hype,” Fredrick said.

He brought the brim of the glass to his mouth and took a gentle, tentative sip whilst Stella looked on, eagerly awaiting his judgement on what she would consider her elixir of life. Fred first noted how cool the liquid was, which was expected considering it was on ice. Secondly, he noted its distinctively smooth taste… similar to Irish Creme that he was fond of but there was some other flavor that he just couldn’t place.

Whatever it was, it made this drink pop, and his eyes widened in pleasant surprise as his taste buds were assaulted with some odd hybrid of sweetness and light spice. He could taste the alcohol within, but it was mixed so perfectly with the other ingredients that he felt compelled to take an even larger gulp, much to Stella’s glee. Further, it slid down his gullet with nary a burn nor a struggle… but a tingly, fizzy feeling diffused throughout his esophagus; identical to what it felt like having magical energy act directly upon him.

He separated his lips from the glass.

“Fuck that went down smooth. Holy shit you weren’t joking that is good!” he exclaimed.

Stella gestured forward, giggling like a little child.

“Told ya, mate! You c’n finish that one. I’ll make one fresh in the glass when you’re done,” she added, crossing her legs into a lotus.

Fredrick did not need to be told twice, and he did just that. After downing the remnants and swirling the glass for any drop that he may have missed, he passed the glass back to Stella, who promptly refilled it for herself.

“Thanks!”

Stella only shot him a wink as she too was busy drinking down a full glass. Once finished, she clicked her lips and separated with a refreshing ‘ahhh,’ angling her gaze back towards her coltfriend beside her.

For some reason, she was incapable of not smiling at the moment.

“Sure thing, love,” she said.

And in that moment Fredrick caught himself staring, and not at her boobs or booty this time. No, his eyes were solely focused on that breathtaking, beautiful face of hers.

Had Stella always been this gorgeous? That was the question he was asking himself as he visually traced over her facial features. That immaculately tamed mane of hers… how her bangs trembled and swayed with gentle breezes and her own movements, gave him that constant urge to run his fingers through her sea of silky, navy blue.

Then there were those cheeks of hers, and those perpetual dimples she sported when she would smile her usual smile… which was all the time. Her teeth; those four sharp fangs of hers added to her intimidation factor, but in the sexiest way possible. Finally, he locked onto her eyes. Those golden, enigmatic pools and predatorial, vertical pupils promised him fun times to come.

Stella’s voice invaded his pensive staring.

“And just what do you think you’re lookin’ at all nyaffy like?”

Fred cocked a cheeky eyebrow of his own. It was time to get a little counter-rise out of her.

“A gorgeous mare.”

Stella recoiled subtly and her eyes widened for the briefest of moments. She pursed her lips and tore her gaze away from Fred’s as an annoying heat rose unbidden to her cheeks, providing them with a certain color that she did not wish to display.

She felt compelled to scratch the underside of her chin at the moment, and in a trademark ‘Stella fashion,’ she hesitantly replied:

“F-Fuck off.”

But, Fredrick knew exactly what that meant when he translated her words to proper English. He merely chuckled and leaned back against the headboard.

“You’re welcome.”

After fancying another sip, Stella took a calming breath and turned her attention back towards her best friend-recently-turned-coltfriend, to which Fred looked back in kind. Silence was common between them in tranquil moments, but this particular silence felt much too bloated to be one the standard, garden-variety times in which they just took a breather from conversation.

No, they were still very much conversating.

Stella lidded her eyes just a little bit, and in response, Fredrick placed his left hand atop of hers… all while still taking the liberty of eyeing up the mare next to him.

His mare.

By reflex, their fingers interlaced.

“You should take a picture. It’ll last longer,” Stella added with that mischievous upturn of her voice.

Fredrick halted his ministrations for the moment, and perked up as he remembered something.

“Well, now that you mention it…” he began, reaching for his right pocket.

Stella looked on inquisitively as the human fished out his ‘smartphone’ from his pocket; that odd-looking device that had captivated her over the months. It was the first piece of human technology that Fredrick had introduced her to, and though she understood how to operate it, Stella was still at a complete loss as to how it even existed or functioned. So, she took it as is and left the thinking to someone smarter than her.

She did enjoy it for his music collection, though.

“I did happen to catch a good picture or two of you.”

Stella cocked her head, eyes gleaming with eager curiosity. She then scooted up right against him so she could see the screen

“Aye? Show me show me show me! I’m normally not that fuckin’ picturesque in my opinion,” she voiced.

“Well, I hate to say it but you’re like, really wrong. Like, reeeaaaally fuckin’ wrong. Maybe you’re the one who’s the ‘unripened vegetable,’” Fredrick countered as he opened the photo app on his phone.

“Y’know, if I wanted my own comeback I’d stuff me hand down me pants,” Stella noted, laying her head on Fred’s shoulder as he oriented his phone landscape.

Scrolling through the pictures, he found the appropriate one and displayed it full screen. In front of her, Stella found a picture of herself in full Lunar Guard Soldier’s uniform, which fit her as immaculately as both of them expected. She had been leading from the front after a small marching drill that she had invited Fredrick to observe. They had been back in the rally hall and Fredrick had managed to capture a shot of her alone and facing forward. Rifle in her hand and at the low-ready, her face was not her usual cheeky nor confident smirk, but was instead one of business. Gone was her toothy demeanor, replaced by a soundless, snarling stoicism.

She was fierce.

“Huh…” Stella huffed. “I do look hot.”

Fredrick chuckled then wrapped his left arm around Stella and lay his head atop hers. He wasn’t gonna rub her concession in her face… at least this time.

“You should wear your uniforms more often; you look good in them.”

“You mean I look hot in them,” Stella corrected so pointedly, poking his stomach.

She then separated from him on account of being a tad warm from their shared body heat, much to Fredrick’s chagrin. As for the human, he only rolled his eyes and adjusted his position to face her easier.

Exaggerating his words, he replied:

“Why yes of course. You look sooooo hot. Do forgive me for the nuance.”

Stella, however, was unfazed at the sarcasm, and welcomed the words. Despite how he delivered them, she knew well that Fredrick’s assertion was genuine. After all, she determined at a very early stage that Fred was pretty stoked on her physicalities, among other things.

“Thas’ more like it, mate. Cheers.”

Fredrick glanced back to his phone screen one more time before he was to lock it… but then found something most disturbingly hilarious.

“Wait a minute…” he said somberly, narrowing his eyes at the picture.

Of course, Stella was curious about the sudden change in demeanor.

“W-What the fuck is it?” she asked, scooting right next to him again.

“Well then…” Fred began, exaggerating his surprised finding. “Look what we have here!”

He zoomed in on her hand by the stock of the rifle she was carrying and noted something quite amateur with massive, impending cheek.

“Is that your finger in the fucking trigger well?!”

The blood appeared to drain from Stella’s face as her eyes honed in on exactly what he was seeing; she surely was seeing it as well. Her pupils constricted to pinpricks as the denial surged forth.

“Fuuuuck off… bullshit I did that. LIES AND DECEITS!” she declared, crossing her arms.

“I’ve got no editing software,” Fredrick pointed out. “So this picture is exactly as is. I probably caught you when you were moving your fingers around.”

Stella pushed him away, pouting and deadpanning.

“Nae. Get that witchcraft outta m’face.”

Fredrick locked his phone and set it aside, then gazed back at the thestral, eyebrow raised and corner of his mouth slack.

“You guys literally perform magic and you call this witchcraft? Fuck outta here with that shit.”

Stella nudged Fredrick’s shoulder with her own, mildly upsetting his balance on his ass.

“Fuck you, twatboy.”

Of course, Fred had no intention of taking that lying down, so he reciprocated said nudge with a harder one, jolting Stella harshly as she nearly fell onto her side.

“Nah, go to your room,” he stated.

He, however, nearly fell off the bed when Stella pendulously nudged him back with even greater force.

“Oi’re you fuckin’ daft, mate? We’re in my room!” she exclaimed with a playful snarl.

This was not even Fredrick’s final form.

“Well…” he began, righting himself into a lotus position and running a hand through his hair. His stoic mouth devolved into a devilish smirk.

“Go to your room harder, bitch!” he declared, and on his last word, he nudged into Stella with all his might.

She was taken completely off guard, and Fredrick, as a result, ended up shoving her clean off the bed. The batpony yelped out shrilly as she met the cold, concrete ground with a mildly painful ‘oomph!’

It was Fredrick’s turn to pale, as the errant thought of him actually hurting Stella careened through his forethought. He scrambled to the edge of the bed.

“Shit! Stella, are you alright?” he called as he looked down over the edge of the bed, but instead of seeing an injured, damsel in distress in needing of some comfort…

...he found the usual Stella. Though he recoiled and crawled back as the mare in question sprang back onto the mattress with a predatory gleam in those golden eyes. She slowly began to advance on Fredrick on all fours.

“Oh, ye wanna play fuckin’ hardball, you cheeky cunt?”

This was about the time where the human felt it was wise to rethink his life choices.

“N-No, I really don’t…”

“Oh, I think you do, mate,” Stella shot back, pinning Fredrick under her by his shoulders, straddling his legs.

She leaned in, furrowing her brow impishly.

“We exploring personal boundaries now, hmm?”

She flashed him all of her teeth, revealing those pristine-white fangs in all of their glory. In return, Fredrick could only really stare back up at the thestral in an odd sense of anticipation. What he felt was about to lead to a vicious wrestling match between the two of them (it happened often; Stella won every time), instead ended up with the mare nigh-sensuously holding him down with all of her strength…

...at her mercy.

Her whim.

Fredrick donned a flirtatious smirk.

“M-Maybe we should.”

With that same, beamingly predatory smile that sent his stomach into a frenzy of butterflies from a latent, primal fear of sharp teeth.

And as those rapidfire thoughts concerning fight-or-flight began to wane in place of reason and logic, the more and more okay Fredrick was with this predicament. His breathing rate slowed considerably as he allowed himself to just get lost in those pools of scheming, gleaming gold above him. Those vertical slits for irises, in conjunction with everything, suddenly got him going again… though blood was instead rushing south for the winter.

Stella had to have felt it against her inner thigh… because if she didn’t, she either had nerve damage, or she was intentionally ignoring it.

Suddenly, Stella relaxed her posture and sighed out, looking away forlornly.

“Fredrick… what’re we doing?” she dared to ask, pursing her lips.

Fredrick's heart and stomach simultaneously sank into the lowest pits of his body and nearly came out his ass.

Oh please don’t fuckin’ tell me! Bonerkill…

He gulped once before delivering his trepiditious response.

“Y-You’re having second thoughts about us, Stel’?”

She looked down at him with such a bemused expression, taken aback like he had just insulted her mother.

“Fuck nae! I’m just wondering what we’re doing… as in, why we’re knocking about with smalltalk and there’s a distinct lack of mouth suckin’ at the moment!”

Fredrick stared back blankly, hands finding their mantle atop Stella’s thighs.

Boner resurrect!

“Where have you been all my life?!” Fredrick demanded. “And don’t fucking scare me like that, holy shit.”

Stella chuckled, leaning forward with her much more usual smirk and putting a little extra emphasis into her arms squeezing her chest.

Fred noticed. He always noticed.

“It’s my job to keep you on edge… in all senses,” she added, lidding her eyes and tracing her upper-right fang with her tongue.

Her sensuous little act elicited a subconscious, reciprocal lip-bite from Fredrick, who was keen on keeping his eyes perfectly trained on hers. He ran the palms of his hand firmly against those tough, muscular, yet velvety smooth thighs of hers in response.

His turn to re-raise that eyebrow and one-up the flirting.

“Oh really?” he bantered. “I’m really liking the sound of that… especially coming from you.”

The two chuckled (if a bit awkwardly) whilst Stella leaned in and softened her gaze, running the side of her muzzle against Fredrick’s nose and just letting them feel each other’s steamy breath upon their faces. Fredrick could feel the tiniest fibres of her coat brush against his hyper-sensitive skin, sending the most innocuous, yet powerful tingles through his face and goosebumps making themselves obvious.

Their eyes were barely open by this point, and both opted to exchange sight at the moment for raw feeling. Stella lay herself flush atop of Fredrick, putting extra emphasis on pressing her chest against his whilst their mouths remained negligibly apart.

“You’re gonna love a lot of things coming from me… mark me words, love,” she alluded with nary but a whisper…

…and with that, she tightened her grip on Fredrick’s shirt and pressed her muzzle forward, joining the two of them at the lips for the second time this evening.

And at that moment, the world around Fredrick melted away, leaving only him and Stella to exist in their little physical and metaphysical reality. Her initial touch radiated a profound warmth through his entire body, diffusing outward from his chest like a birthing puddle... sending his heart into a renewed flutter and a lustful heat to his core. His stomach did flips and his brain did flops as he struggled to match Stella’s lip aggression with aggression of his own, though to admittedly little avail.

Thus, in one of his last coherent thoughts before the ethereal veil of hormones took him over, he transferred all mental processes to his reflexes and instincts.

Still, her lips hit such a wonderful spot on him, that he could not even stifle a small groan.

Stella apparently heard that, as she loosed another chuckle upon a one-second separation, then dove back in once both had their fill of some air.

The thestral mare planted her knees on either side of Fred’s hips and slid both of her hands up to his face, gingerly cupping his cheeks as she lowered her hips to meet his. Both sets of eyes remained dutifully closed as their lips continued their all-out war against one another, the aggressiveness of their fusions and separations absolutely refusing to plateau. Stella was not in any better straits than Fredrick, as she too was flooded with so many emotions that she did not know she even harbored until now.

She knew she liked Fredrick in this way; that never changed. But the previous kissing session—as well as this one—were the figurative opening of the floodgates to more profound feelings about the human beneath her, and just how much she had come to respect and care for the odd creature she called her best mate.

The sounds of lips smacking together in conjunction with pleasurable sighs and inhales continued in earnest as the new couple further melted into each other’s embrace. Gone were the whimsical, flirtatious smiles, with ones of determination and a carnal need for satisfaction dominating in their stead.

Fredrick’s hands homed in on her back, right under her folded wings as he began to trace lines up and down through her tank top… all while doing his best to make sure she did not completely dominate his mouth. It still was taking time to process that his incredibly hot best friend (who was now his de facto girlfriend) was literally subjecting him to her will at the moment and trying her damndest to suck his lips off. Knowing that she could do whatever that crazy mind of hers desired sent untold amounts of hybrid anticipation and pleasure shooting through his veins.

Stella pulled back a mere centimeter and parted her lips, to which Fredrick mimicked in kind. Their synchronized breaths rushed into each other’s mouths and bade each other to continue onward… nay, exhorted them to reattach themselves at the mouth and release the pent up inferno that had been held at bay for so long.

Tit for tat in who would initiate what, Fredrick inched his tongue forward… and Stella hers. The tips of their wet muscles touched for the first time and took little hesitancy in acquainting themselves with one another. Their mouthscape a microcosm of their bodies, their tongues melded into their mutual, welcoming embrace, and their sizzling makeout continued in earnest.

Fredrick placed both of his hands on the nape of Stella’s neck and held her there as both parties conscripted their tongues to wage their ferocious, lust driven battle on their behalves. Gentle coos and hums competed for supremacy in the heat of the now-warmer night, vying for dominance as to who could extort more emotion and lust out of the other.

Though their hands held firmly on each other on the off chance any of them had bright ideas of leaving, biology still won out in the end… and the two felt the pleasurable rush of cool, night-air enter into their lungs upon separating fully. Looking upon each other for the first time in well-over five minutes, Stella and Fredrick found one another with visibly colored cheeks and impossibly obvious smiles.

Out of breath, panting, and faces playing host to a surreal lightheadedness, both were more than satisfied.

Stella broke the silence first with a dreamy inflection:

“Fuck me… you’re not so bad at this, y’know~.”

Fred lidded his eyes, yet still managed a deadpan.

“You do know I’ve done this before, right? Heck you know I’ve had sex before. A fair amount of times, actually,” he noted.

“That proves fuck all,” Stella countered, running her right index finger over his chest. “You can make out and fuck all you want… still won’t change the fact if you’re terrible at it.”

“True,” Fred conceded.

No more needed to be said at the moment, and Stella was back in business with her mouth right where it belonged: against his. But, that didn’t last long as she separated with an erotic, wet-sounding smack before burying her muzzle in the crook of Fredrick’s neck.

“Fuck…” he groaned at feeling her breathing and her lips in a spot he did not wish to admit he was sensitive in.

Like Stella gave a single shit.

Confidently in control, the batpony mare barely grazed her lips against his subtly perspiring skin, up his neck and cheek, all the way back to his lips… but promptly removed herself yet again to deliver a long, tantalizing lick up the side of his face.

“Jeeesus, Stella…” Fredrick nearly blurted at the sudden, foreign gesture.

He didn’t tell her to stop, though.

However, Stella did bite her lip and release a pent up groan, pressing her crotch right into his bulge as she took a long whiff of his scent from the same crook of his neck. Her eyes rolled back a bit behind her eyelids as she sought to take in more of him… he was clean and smelt prominently of a formal cologne, but it made no difference to her.

She wanted him.

By Luna’s beautiful Night Sky did she want to just rip her bottoms off and bury that hard dick of his deep into her swollen depths.

But she knew well that could come later, whenever Fredrick felt like not being risk aversive. For now, she was perfectly content with getting her kicks by opening her mouth against him.

And Fredrick felt a surge of raw adrenaline when he felt all four of her fangs against his neck, to which Stella only scraped their tips as she gnawed her way up. He could feel her, grazing those sharp fangs that could easily puncture his skin, up and down one of his most vulnerable spots.

The faucet wasn’t the only thing leaking at this point.

And in one final bit of sexually enticing torment, Stella actually did bite down hard, right on his shoulder. He could feel that the slightest bit of extra force would send her teeth straight through his shirt and deep into his deltoid…

...but she refrained, and released her hold on him. There would be four distinct marks on him in the morning.

But only then did they truly separate, with Stella sitting up fully and leering down at her prey.

Fred let his hands roam down to her waist and pressed the lower half of his palm up against the exposed flesh and coat of Stella’s toned midriff, which had ridden up slightly during their little… oral altercation.

She took notice of his hand placement immediately, her eyes showing of inquisitiveness combined with that deathly cute ‘o’-shape of her mouth as she glanced downward.

She then flicked her eyes upward to meet Fred’s… all with that same confident, toothy smile that he had come to absolutely love about her.

“Night after the first date an’ you’re already gettin’ handsy with me, eh?” she teased, running both of her hands over his chest, which further pronounced her chest between her biceps.

“Speak for fucking yourself,” Fred shot back, his eyes trailing down her enticing form to notice just how ‘handsy’ she was being with him.

“True~,” she admitted, but her features—somehow—became even more playfully sinister.

Trailing her hands down his chest to his abdomen, Stella then beelined straight for the hem of her nicely fitted tank top, linking her fingers underneath before purring to the man beneath her:

“Mind if I get more comfortable, stud?”

Like Fred even had to think of a response to that.

“By all means, hotstuff” he said with a horny grin of his own.

His face showed naught but hunger for the mare unrelentingly keeping him pinned by the torso, but internally, he wanted to kill himself at his last spoken word.

Did you really just call her ‘hotstuff?’ You wanna dry her up? That’s how you dry her up.

Stella apparently did not hear or did not care to give credence to his odd choice of word, as she only bit her lip and leaned forward, shimmying her chest enticingly for a mere second… too short of time in Fredrick’s opinion. Righting her posture and sitting up straight, her hooked fingers began peeling that tank top over her head with a certain grace yet lack of restraint that only someone like Stella was capable of.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl for Fredrick as the teal-blue fabric gradually covered less and less of her torso. He watched raptly as her slim stomach became on full display, and how her toned and vaguely defined musculature through her coat framed her cute little navel. Then with one final motion, Stella disregarded all inhibitions and tossed away the now-useless garment as her bra-clad, full breasts bounced free of their first restraints.

As he previously noted, Fredric had seen Stella in quite the lack of clothing, especially in her bikini which was kind of the same idea. Still, somehow this time felt… different. Her mouthwatering cleavage was perfectly framed in the bland, black-bra as he would come to expect, but there was just something extra magical about having this powerful, lithe mare atop of him.

Knowing full-well that she commanded his entire attention, Stella re-equipped that seductive complexion and ran her hands up her own body. She traced similar lines up her tummy but took little qualm in cupping both of her covered breasts and squeezing them together, ever emphasizing the more-than-modest cleavage that she possessed. Stella had Fredrick exactly where she wanted him, and she lost count of the times that she wished she could just tease him so cruelly like this.

But it would not have been for nothing…

She’d’ve let him have his way with her.

Fredrick’s lips parted as he struggled to keep a coherent, consistent breathing rate; he could probably score an 11 on the Mohs Hardness Scale. He dared not peel his eyes from the hypnotic display that was happening right on his bulged pants.

His eyes widened moderately when Stella ceased massaging her mammaries and slid both her hands behind her back.

“One question,” she purred.

There was a distinct sound of a harness unclasping.

“Bra on or off?”

Fredrick’s mind went blank for a moment as his response of ‘TAKE IT OOOOOOOOFFFFF!!!’ refused to materialize. His throat was sufficiently dry at the moment and he had to clear his throat, though in the meantime, Stella wasn’t particularly amused.

“I swear to me fuckin’ minge if you say ‘keep it on…’ you fuckin’ prude…”

She, unfortunately, gave Fred an opening to fuck with her… one he never turned down, even with this new prospect of seeing tiddies.

“Hey, you gave me the choice, don’t get mad if I make a friggin’ selection, sheesh,” his natural elements of sarcasm and banter spoke on his behalf.

Stella re-hooked her bra and let her hands fall to her sides with an exasperated sigh.

“So do you enjoy wetting the fuckin’ garden and not planting a goddamn thing?”

Fred couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that analogy, though he sought to deliver some consolation by way of continuing to hold her waist tenderly.

“Nah, I just like to mess with you for all the times you sexually harass me… and everyone else for that matter,” he quickly corrected upon a second thought.

Stella pointed a lone finger at him.

“Oi, I don’t ‘sexually harass’ everypony…”

She then snatched up both of his hands and planted them directly onto her tits, and by his bodily reflex, he squeezed them nice and firmly.

Though half of his touch was taken up by fabric, the tips of Fred’s fingers sank softly into her firm, velvety pillows… but before he could enjoy it at all, Stella batted his hands away.

And her erotic smile returned full force.

“...I only sexually harass you.”

Fredrick would find out that he would pay dearly for his little joking act of defiance: she kept the bra on, as per his undisclosed desires… but further, that was the only time she let him touch her glorious chesticles that evening.

And true to her nature, Stella would do everything to ensure Fredrick received midnight-blue balls.

Needless to say, he learned his lesson.

[Three Days Later…]

Work was… well, work.

But here in Equestria, Fredrick always reflected on the idea that he was given a job that he loved to do. That wasn’t to say that he did not like his profession back on Earth; quite the contrary. An applied econometrician paid quite well starting in his particular field and company.

Here, however, the differences were noticeable instantly.

Fredrick entered into his room humming subconsciously to himself, all with a perpetual smirk on his face. All the while, he continued to note those same differences: Back on Earth, his job entailed him staring at a computer screen quite a bit. The lack of computers here in Equestria made his job a little more interesting, especially when Celestia would task him with something more quantitatively analytical. Still, Fred did not go to university and do the amount of analysis on ‘all this fuckin’ paper’ for nothing… so he made do.

But that wasn’t the entire charm of his job.

Fredrick continued to let his mind wander off with some stranger in a white van as he sealed himself inside his room and began the nightly ritual of dressing into something more comfortable. Celestia was an absolute joy to work with, and he could eagerly say that he had learned a plethora of new things and perspectives working under her. Further, he was not confined to just his desk; his duties often entailed him tailing her (and Luna, since their setting up of a ‘Combined Court’) during her sessions and offering his aforementioned analyses and insights when appropriate.

Tossing aside his work clothes and jacket, Fredrick was content to just jump into bed and rest his eyes for a few moments before this evening.

Stella had two nights off, and tonight she’d spend with him.

Awesome possum.

As he actioned his previously mentioned game plan with a plain-white, baggy t-shirt and his boxers, his mind drifted appropriately from work reflection to something a little more somber.

Light complacency often brought back some good memories of a world seven months past.

Thoughts of his parents, his best friends, and his sister entered into his forethought and did a proper job of depressing his mood; thoughts like these tended to be shit company, after all.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to go for any alcohol to help bat these less-than-welcome-at-the-moment memories, as his door opening and slamming inward did a much better job than any elixir could at startling him ramrod.

“FREDRICK!” came Stella’s raucous, excited bellow with barely a second passing before she slammed the door shut behind her with equal force.

As he calmed his heart and sat in a lotus position on his bed, Fredrick wondered why he even bothered with doors with this mare. Flashing an annoyed, if tired glance at his marefriend, such a face could not withstand the ethereal force of Stella’s beaming face, sexy exuberance, and gorgeous body garbed in a rather standard black V-neck and coordinating short shorts.

Nevertheless, Fredrick’s sarcastic response came:

“Yes, my dear?”

At his beckoning, Stella was not hesitant in the slightest to sprint towards him and flop down on the bed next to him. Lying down next to him, she stared up at him with those large eyes and fluttered her lashes, to which Fredrick only stared back down at her with a goofy, early-relationship love struck smile.

“Can I help you?”

Still, Stella wasn’t really forthcoming with answers. Instead, she held up two fingers in a ‘v’ and presented them to Fredrick’s face. The human eyed her digits with a raised eyebrow as the batpony caressed his cheek, then his chin… and then his lips.

Fredrick thought he’d be playful and chomp at her two fingers, but the moment he moved to action that, Stella thrust said digits forward into the back of his throat. His eyes widened comically at the sudden activation of his gag reflex, and he promptly pulled away from her.

“GHAAACH! Jesus Christ what the hell was that for?!” he demanded.

Stella dutifully continued to hold up those (now saliva-coated) fingers. Finally speaking, she simply stated:

“Two weeks,” she said with a more neutral tone, ignoring Fred’s irritated outburst.

“Wait… until what??” the human asked, scooting back up next to his prone marefriend and looking down at her. He had every intention of asking her if her action was at all necessary to relay that point.

But this was Stella. Of course it was necessary.

He, by reflex, ran his fingers across her forehead and brushed some bangs out of the way of her eyes, a gesture she appreciated by way of closing said eyes to relish in his touch. Still, she playfully batted his hand away with a tiny giggle.

“Heh, fuck off… but coordinate with Princess Celestia Sunarse and request five days off, two weeks from tomorrow,” Stella stated so bluntly.

She then rolled onto her side, stretching her arm up and out with a cute yawn.

“We’re going on a trip.”

“A trip?” Fred asked, then bobbed his head in consideration. “Huh, I could use one. Sure! Time off shouldn’t be an issue at all. Where’re we headed?”

“Well,” Stella began. “I’ve got some leave time saved up and since you and I are pretty much together now…”

“ ‘Pretty much?’ ” Fredrick interjected sarcastically, to which Stella rolled her eyes.

“You know what the fuck I meant… Nae actually, ‘pretty much’ is right: I still frequent gettin’ flogged by three minotaurs at the same time on Tuesday afternoons,” she returned fire with her own sarcastic comeback.

Fredrick considered this reality through a series of lighthearted chuckles.

“I actually probably wouldn’t even be mad… I’d be more impressed that you’re still alive, to be completely honest.”

“ANYWAY!” Stella regained the reins of the conversation before they derailed further.

“Since we’re, as ponies say, an ‘item’ now, and since I usually go back home when I have extended leave available, you...”

She poked Fredrick’s nose.

“...get to come with me to the bright, sun kissed and happy frolicking fuckin’ pleasantries-filled Northern Mountain Range!” she concluded with a grandiose gesture of her hands outward.

That normally should have been a cause for rejoice; a several-day long trip with the mare of his affections would be exactly what he needed to recoup his thoughts after hard work.

The deeper implications of her extended invitation, however, were all that dominated his now frozen mind.

The lack of immediate response from Fredrick, who was just staring at her stoically, was cue enough for Stella to continue once again:

“And by ‘bright, sun kissed and happy frolicking fuckin’ pleasantries-filled,’ I mean foggy, rainy, angry, and sometimes claustrophobic. Further, you get to come with me…

“...because me family wants to meet you!”

Fredrick blinked.

“...Wat?”

Stella beamed once again with an almost oblivious smile.

“I know, right?! They've never wanted tae meet any of me colt friends in the past… and it’s only been four days since we became ‘us!’ So I'd consider it a massive honor, ya lucky fuck!” she said, pressing her fist into his shoulder.

In the shrouded depths of his mind, however, Fredrick was exactly the opposite of honored. He was terrified on two levels: firstly, he’d be meeting her family, and most importantly, her parents. He had little idea how they would take to him, especially in a new society such as this.

Secondly, he had always found Stella intimidating, though that diminished gradually over time.

He was gonna be in a room of ponies related to this bitch.

The genes that spawned her.

He remarked under his breath:

“This is how I die, huh?”

“Hmm?”

“Nothing! Just pretty excited actually!” he lied with a nervous smile.

“If the rest of your family is like you, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

Stella giggled into her hand, then pointed towards his bathroom.

“Y’know you’re supposed tae shit yerself in there, not here, right?” she stated, barely keeping her composure at seeing right through Fred’s nervous fib.

His deadpan could sink navies.

“Oh you know what??” Fredrick began rhetorically, eyeing the mare beneath him with a playfully sinister smirk.

He then launched himself on top of her and began digging his fingers into her sides, unleashing a tickling barrage to span the ages. The reaction was immediate as Stella burst into uproarious laughter, flailing her legs and pushing against the man above her in any attempt to stifle his sudden burst of courage.

“GAHH!! FREDRICK GET OFF ME YOU CUNT!” Stella squealed, though her demand appeared token at best.

“I’LL SHIT MYSELF ON YOU, BITCH!” he declared through barred teeth and devious smile.

Once she had actually gotten a proper grip on his wrists was when he decided to let up on his onslaught. The two were left panting and in a mutual giggle, though in stark contrast to how they would normally end with Stella being in the more dominant position.

Neither seemed bothered by this in the slightest, and in fact, that heat that had become all too familiar over the more recent past began to well up within both of them. Fredrick was still much more bashful about it, and had to divert his attention elsewhere whilst Stella continued to stare sultrily up at him with an equally-colored complexion.

She honestly never failed to send his heart racing.

“So,” the batpony piped up. “You gonna stop worrying for once in yer fuckin’ life and get down here an’ kiss me like you know you want to?”

A final lip-bite with that stroke-inducing snaggle-fang and a wink were all the convincing Fredrick needed to take the gorgeous pony up on her words.

“Oooh! Mmmm…” came Stella’s immediate surprise and coo at his eagerness.

Ever since that first night, she had been amazed at the change in confidence he exuded. Fredrick always took an enormous sense of pride in what he did and how he carried himself, which was something that Stella continually admired about the displaced human.

His cheeky sarcasm was just a bonus.

As they slipped into another heated makeout session with Stella being the submissive one (more than fine by her at the moment), she was again reminded as to why she even felt the way she did about him… why every time she looked at him, she had the strongest urge to impress him with her bravado and abrasiveness… to tease him and goad him to elicit those reactions that were the tell-all to how much he wanted her. One such reaction was to the attention he was lavishing her with currently.

She cared what he thought of her.

Like… a lot.

And she was quite okay with that.

“Ah! Right there, mmph! Bite me neck there again!”

Author's Note

I bet you thought they were gonna bone already.

Nope. Chuck Testa.

Oh, what was the picture Fredrick managed to capture? Pretty much this:

Done by my good friend Ravvij. You can see more of his awesome work on his Deviantart! Seriously, go see that shit!

Also, I went a bit ahead and published without the entire thing being preread by the awesome Eppie, so don't be shy to point out if I missed any errors... I can't find any after going through this twice but I know they're there, waiting to embarrass me. All I ask is that if you do point out errors this time, kindly leave a comment or critique on the chapter itself as well if you feel so inclined :scootangel:

Oh also, Fred is l'fucked.

7. ♫ I'm Blue (If She's in Heat I'mma Die...) ♫

Fredrick was no shut-in by any measure, but that did not mean that he had to particularly enjoy his time around other people.

Back on Earth, he had a small circle of best friends, namely five individuals, with whom he’d go to dinner, gallivant around, or get into general friend shenanigans. And as circumstances would come to pass, he would not necessarily hang out with each of them all at once, but perhaps some combination of the five others.

Other than for the occasional girl, he made no conscious effort to expand his central group. He had acquaintances and general friends, certainly, but he never wanted to add to what he currently had. This was born not out of isolation or getting burned in the past by someone. No, it was, to him, a matter of necessity. Somehow, the universe deemed it so, that he would be subjected to often the strangest, most odd turns of events that could befall anyone.

Case in point, him getting transported to Equestria.

But much to his chagrin, he learned that his penchant for ‘interesting’ life events and encounters followed him to another goddamn dimension and universe altogether.

He quietly lamented this as he held pleasant conversation with Stella’s equal best friend: a lieutenant in the Canterlot Police Department named Moral Highground.

Though, through some hilarious joking on Stella’s part, Fred learned quite well that the newcomer preferred just her last name.

Their setting was one Fredrick had become accustomed to over his tenure in Equestria and with Stella in general: The Stalactite. The trio of two batponies and one human sat at the main bar with Fred at the center. His conversation continued in earnest with the CPD officer whilst Stella had turned around to mingle with a group of foreign batponies with equally as funny an accent as her.

“So,” began the plainclothes Highground smoothly after taking a gentle sip of her drink.

Her voice was smooth, mature, if somewhat cynical. Still, Fred knew he liked her the moment he was introduced; she gave off the ‘cop that’s too old for this shit’ vibe, and he appreciated it.

She then looked at him directly, her body orientation still facing the bar itself.

“You and Stella, huh?”

Fredrick bobbed his head, silently accepting her subtle congratulations along with the implicit sympathy that was conveyed with her tone.

He replied with equal tone:

“Eeyup. Believe me, I know.”

Highground’s countenance deviated little from her resting stoicism that Fred had heard so much about from Stella… though she did manage to sport a half smirk at his remark, so he was more than willing to accept that.

“Here’s my question though, that’s been keeping me up,” she started anew, this time swiveling in her stool to face him fully.

She rested her head on her open palm for support.

“You seem like a smart kid. Got a good head on your shoulders. Structured. Laid back. And, I’ll concede, you’re decent looking—just not my type. Still… an-and these aren’t jabs at you… I’m just still trying to figure out as to how and why Stel’ is completely taken with you?”

Fredrick chuckled awkwardly under the praise, but Highground’s words struck a small chord with him. Those were excellent questions, ones which he never actually asked himself. He knew that Stella thought he was good looking enough, that’s for sure, but anything else was fair game.

Things had been going well so far, so he had no reason to even question her methods to her madness.

Fredrick shrugged, sipping his beer.

“I think ‘completely taken’ is a bit of an exaggeration… though your guess’s as good as mine,” he replied.

Highground’s visage only slackened as she grinned even more, shaking her head. To Fredrick, this was the exact look someone would give when they’d say ‘Oh my sweet summer child…’

“Stella has a weird way of showing affection if it’s not overt like a hug, a kiss, or a nuzzle,” she explained.

She cleared her throat before continuing:

“And by ‘weird’ I mean really fuckin’ weird. Like, if she doesn't insult you at all, you're probably a piece of shit.”

Fredrick was more than inclined to agree with this assessment. In fact, having it laid out so simply extorted a hearty giggle from him.

“Very very true,” he said.

The rugged (yet still attractive) officer shifted her weight to her other leg, shotgunning the rest of her soda. She then raised her right index finger pointedly.

“You’ve known her for seven months. I’ve known her for five years. Believe me when I say that she’s absolutely smitten with you… just the way she’s snuck glances at you behind your back in the last five minutes tells me all I need to know,” she gestured with a tilt of her muzzle.

Fredrick blinked hard and cast his glance over his shoulder. There, he spotted a black-shorts, turquoise v-neck-clad Stella leaning against the counter shooting the shit with two other batpony stallions and a mare.

His marefriend’s ear flicked and she angled her face towards him, locked eyes, smiled, and delivered a lone wink before turning back to her new acquaintances with renewed conversation.

Fred, in kind, turned back to Highground, shrugging, once he got rid of the little bit of color that had settled in his cheeks.

“Fair, but she’s like, always smiling, so… I just click with her?”

“She's generally a happy individual. It goes beyond that, though,” Highground countered.

She continued:

“If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that you can make her laugh. Hard. Yeah, she's told me about other things she likes about you but there's always been one common denominator: Your sense of humor.”

It was Fredrick’s turn to smirk, though with pride. Still, he had a bit of cheek to add.

“That’s some deep insight for someone who claimed to not know why Stella likes me.”

Highground huffed, then shrugged.

“I could be completely wrong. But I’m also a detective, so it’s part of my job to draw conclusions based on my knowledge and evidence. I’ll just end it with the fact that you’ve got it pretty good right now.”

Fredrick considered her words as their conversation stalled for a moment. She was being a bit cryptic and as he came to voice, he wasn’t entirely clear on the point of that whole exchange.

“Fair enough and… thanks I guess? To be honest I’m not really sure where we were heading with that.”

Highground leaned closer in once she flipped her crimson locks back into place, her scrutinizing, stoic face peering straight into Fred’s very soul. He, naturally, felt compelled to lean away from her as he kept his eyes keenly trained on the batpony whom he did not know nearly as well as Stella.

And she lidded her eyes with a requisite simper.

“I get my ears talked off because of you… I know all about you from that one over there, Mr. Himmelreich,” she said, again gesturing to who Fred would affectionately call the ‘Scotsmare.’

“But what about you in relevance to her? Is the enthusiasm requited?” Highground added.

Fredrick suddenly felt claustrophobic, as he could easily press his nose to Highgrounds with barely a measurable movement forward. The mare’s countenance bore no semblance of emotion, and the only way Fred knew that she was asking him a serious question was through tone.

Very stern, yet curious.

So, with a tugging of his t-shirt collar, the human delivered his honest, if anxious response.

“She—Stella was my first and is my best friend. She at least deserves that much, don’t you think?”

The left corner of Highground’s lips tugged upward; nary a single change otherwise. She then leaned forward further, actually pressing her muzzle to his nose.

And for the first time tonight, she bared her teeth in a full smile.

“Good answer.”

Fredrick nodded and chuckled uneasily, knowing full well that he just got Highground’s trademarked version of the ‘hurt my best friend and I'll fucking castrate you’ talk.

But with that out of the way, he felt there were much smoother waters ahead with her, so he figured conversation did not have to end after that oddly meaningful yet meaningless exchange all the same.

“So… how long’ve you been with the force?” Fred asked, feeling it was a rather neutral question to begin anew.

Having ordered another drink, Highground took her first sip, gulping as she turned to Fred once more.

“Twenty years.”

“Only twenty years?”

The jab at her age was not lost on her in the slightest.

“Oh you’re so goddamn funny, you know that? Same old age jokes that I totally haven’t heard, ever. Maybe I can see why she likes you.”

Fredrick laughed out loud, raising his glass toward the mare, to which she promptly clinked hers against his.

“I can drink to that. Cheers.”

“Cheers, Fred.”

Upon taking a nice sip of his elixir of choice, Fredrick was just happy to get the implicit blessing from Stella’s close friend. That was one potential problem that he felt he could cross off the list of ‘shit that could go wrong.’

Highground spoke up again:

“Don’t get me wrong though. She’ll take good care of you, even if it sometimes seems like she’s trying to get you killed,” she said.

She then appeared to reminisce, and with the subtle grimace, it did not look like the associated memory was entirely a pleasant one.

“Believe me. I know that too well,” she chuckled, shuddering at the memory.

Fredrick easily felt he could contend with a little anecdote. Nonchalantly, he noted:

“She threw me off my room’s balcony in the castle. Just to catch me.”

Highground didn’t appear phased at all, and she only sipped her newly topped off drink.

“She replaced my sidearm with a water pistol,” she flatly said. “Imagine whipping that out on inspection in front of the Equipment Controller.”

Fredrick had little ability to stifle the giggle in his throat, so he attempted to cover it with a sip of his drink, though with little success.

That for sure sounded like garden-variety Stella antics.

“Well, if it’s any consolation…” Fred began.

He then cleared his throat and leaned in close, Highground cocking an eyebrow as she lent him her ear.

“Tonight, I’m actioning my counter-prank against her as payback for an earlier prank of hers. Got a little help and blessing from Princess Luna herself, as a matter of fact,” he declared.

Highground’s curiosity was a little more than piqued, to say the least.

“Reeeeaaaally…? What’s the plan?”

Stealing a glance over his shoulder to see Stella still engrossed in conversation, he turned back to Highground and relayed his little scheme.

“It’s a simple, apparently timeless classic: Poison Joke.”

The batpony officer huffed approvingly whilst taking another swig of her beer.

“Heh, definitely is timeless, that’s for sure,” she said.

She then pursed her lips curiously.

“Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever remember her getting struck with PJ. Otherwise, I’d tell you what to expect in terms of effects on her.”

Fredrick shrugged, facing forward.

“Meh, I figured that’d be the fun part.”

“Well, either way, I hope she doesn’t kill you. I can’t guarantee your safety if the effect is bad enough,” Highground warned.

“Noted,” was all Fred had to say.

Conversation resumed without much flair as the evening progressed, and Fredrick had to admit that it was times like these that he truly appreciated. It was little moments like these that made him truly realize that his new life wasn’t all that bad. From current living situation to the friends he had made… and now to his best friend turned girlfriend, there had been plenty of hurdles to ford but all in all, things were just swell.

What especially reinforced this was when Stella introduced the two groups together so they could all shoot the breeze. The bombastic mare gravitated to Fred’s side and leaned against him, allowing the human to place his arm around her waist.

Upon questioning by the newcomers, Stella happily introduced Fredrick as her coltfriend… though with some usual Stella-esque words to go along with it.

And that made him feel amazing, filling his insides with a warmth he had never experienced truly thus far… as well as touching him in ways that no woman ever could.

What he and Highground had found amusing was that Stella and these foreign ponies seemed to have their own language of sorts; clearly they were all from the Northern Mountains, as the slang that they used for the most mundane things and the commonality of their vernacular was demonstrably the same.

Then again, the Stalactite was modeled after the cavern networks of the North, of which encompassed several different societies of batponies. It was only fitting that they would run into thestrals who were from the same groups as Stella, Fredrick figured.

Hilariously, they had some of the same quirks and mannerisms as she quite proudly sported, minus a few more personal touches, of course.

But that came with the same penchant for being a bit too… bellicose.

Case in point, when after some seemingly mindless and harmless banter, the mood somehow turned sour.

“Oi mate, the fuck you runnin’ yer gob ‘bout Breeze, aye?” came a sudden, nearly indecipherable inquiry of the new thestral mare.

The tone of those words told Fredrick enough, and he knew well that Stella would not back away from challenging words—doubly so when she was drunk.

He knew his marefriend well.

“Ah said he’s a fukkin’ twat with a lil’ bawbag the size of a boysenberry innit? An’ you fukkin’ know it ya tint slag!” came her response with an accompanying point of her index finger.

Fredrick shot a questioning look over to the other two batpony gentlecolts who mirrored the exact same confusion. Highground only looked on with amused interest.

That all changed, however, when the lighter-coated thestral mare lunged for Stella… but was quickly blunted when her friends restrained her by the arms within milliseconds’ notice. Likewise, Fredrick and Highground had to bound out of their chairs and hold Stella back from counterattacking.

Despite both batponies flailing belligerently in their comrade’s holds, what remained wholly unrestrained were their mouths.

“Oi ya little cunt, take tha’ back wit ya tae Tartarus you fuckin’ cumstain I'll fuckin’ twist yer twat off!”

Stella’s intellectual rebuttal was much more grotesque:

“Lick mah sticky flaps, ya fuckin’ flat-titted inflatable cunt, ye!”

Fredrick felt it would be wise to interject at that point.

“OKAY… yeah it’s getting late, we’re gonna go now. Sorry about this,” he announced, he and Highground gently leading their lovably aggressive friend away.

“Not yer fault, mate! We don’t even know what the fuck happened either!” came the response from one of the other nice fellows.

Stella and her equally ‘Scottish’ counterpart continued to incessantly spew obscenities from their mouths; Fredrick figured that if the US and USSR went to war, it would look something like this.

“Have a goodnight, guys!” Fredrick called out as they dragged a raging Stella up towards the exit.

“Cheers, mates!”

“Ah’ll shite on errythin’ you love ya snagglefanged fuck!” came the pleasant well-wishes of the visiting mare.

Highground immediately weighed in with:

“Stel’, don't rise to that.”

“Fuck off back to Thestralshire an’ garble a fukkin’ pumpkin-spiced wang, ya cuntbadger I'll fukkin’ whipple yer maw right fukkin’ red ya fukkin’ sperm deposit box!”

The CPD Officer merely sighed out, shaking her head.

“Amazing self-control, as always.”

The duo finally dragged Stella out the exit and into the cool, refreshing night air, and the effect was immediate. The guardsmare took a few deep breaths once her friends released her to her own devices, and as if the moonlight itself had power over her, she was completely calm.

Though still very, very drunk.

“Well…” she spoke, leaning against Fred for support. “Those were some lovely ponies. But let’s go home? I’m fuckin’ beat, love, aye?”

Fredrick smirked down at his mare, wrapping an arm around her before he faced Highground… who held a much softer expression at their small display.

“Guess that’s our cue to head back.”

Highground nodded.

“As is mine. Stella’s got the right idea: sleep,” she echoed her best friend’s sentiment.

Adjusting her jacket, she extended her hand to the human, who grasped hers in kind. He nearly got his hand crushed to a pulp by one of the strongest handshake grips he had ever experienced.

“Good to meet you, Fred… and I’m sure I’ll be hearing and seeing much more of you in the future.”

She then nodded gently.

“You’re alright. And Stella, you take care as well—hang out next week, okay bitch?” she added, tousling the inebriated mare’s mane.

Stella batted her away, tiredly nodding. Apparently, fatigue had caught up with her in a hurry once she let out all her excess energy in trying to fight somepony.

“Aye. Don’t die ya fuckin’ slag.”

The cop rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah… same phrase for the last few years. See you guys!” she strode in another direction with a wave.

Fredrick and Stella returned her farewells and headed back to the castle. Yet again, Fred found himself hefting his drunken now-marefriend back to her barracks, though he took little qualm with it. When she was drunk, she tended to be a little more handsy, and by extension, cuddlier and generally more affectionate in a softer manner.

“Well, that was interesting,” Fredrick voiced flatly, still sure to hold his mare close.

She leaned into him more, sighing out blissfully.

“Yeah. Seriously though; they were nice ponies.”

But one question was burning Fredrick from the inside out as they strode through the less-crowded streets without a care in the world.

“Dude, what the fuck were you two ready to slug each other over?!”

Stella’s much more placid state was no more at the mention of that subject, and she burst out in raucous laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

“Fuckin’… okay, so. That batpony mare was from the same network as me in the Northern Mountains, aye?” she began.

Fred nodded, keeping rapt attention on her.

“Okay…”

Stella coughed and cleared her throat, giggling as she continued:

“Well, back in the Northern Mountains, the network where we’re from is called ‘Thestralshire.’ When I was growing up, there was a hard candy that was locally produced… many fruity flavors an’ really fuckin’ good. Addicting as shit, I’ll tell ye.”

“Right…”

“But,” Stella said, raising a single index finger pointedly. “Fast forward fifteen years later and the twats change the fuckin’ recipe. It’s… different,” she added with a slight grimace.

The two entered onto the home stretch toward the castle.

Fredrick understood completely, evident by him nodding deeply with a sense of recognition.

“Ahh, so it was like the whole ‘new coke’ and ‘coke classic’ with my parents’ generation,” he mused.

“Okay, go on…”

Stella nodded, still smirking like a drunken madmare. Her cheeks were cutely blushed and those dimples of hers never quit.

“Whatever that means, mate… but this candy was so popular, so influential, that those who embraced the change and those who told ‘em to fuck off were split right down the middle.

“There was literally almost a civil war over fuckin’ candy. Just imagine that. And the scars of that tension still remain to this day…” Stella finished oh so cryptically.

Fredrick was not in the slightest surprised, actually.

“And which side of this global conflict did you happen to be on?”

“Fuck the change! If the shit ain't broke, don’t try tae fuckin’ fix it fer fuck’s sake, lads!” Stella declaimed with the highest authority to anypony who happened to be around them at the moment.

Fredrick, of course, had little say in the matter when he busted a gut laughing.

“Batponies ready to take up arms over candy. I guess there are worse things to fight over but good lord you all have too much time on your hands.”

“Ayy, fuck you, mate.”

He placed a lone kiss atop Stella’s head.

The mare in question, however, had something else in mind at that.

“Oi, fucker if yer gonna kiss me gimme a real fuckin’ kiss, ya cunt!”

And with that, she angled his face towards hers and pressed her alcohol-soaked lips to his, though there was little time for him to relish in the unexpected yet pleasant experience—Stella promptly invaded his mouth with her tongue.

And though Fredrick could not refrain from groaning at just how much power she truly wielded over him, her tongue was probably the equivalent of a fifty-proof shot at the moment.

The duo separated from the PDA after a few moments with a satisfying ‘mwah!’ and not a care in the world.

In a fashion most befitting of her, Stella remarked with a bright smile:

“Whew lad! Now that’s what I'm fuckin’ about, aye?”

Fredrick harbored similar enthusiasm.

“Heh, that’s my Stella! By the way, based on your empirical analysis, how drunk are you?”

Stella took all but a single second of research and inward reflection before delivering her analytical response:

“Ah’m pretty fuckin’ drunk, mate.”

“That’s pretty fucking drunk, mate,” Fred parroted with a self-satisfied chortle.

And as they were about to enter into the main archway of the Castle, Fredrick’s expression morphed into one much more devilish.

“Well, are you drunk enough to do me a favor for my own amusement?” he asked, bringing them both to a gentle stop.

Stella, naturally, gazed up at him curiously.

“Ummm, maybe?”

“Just shout at the top of your lungs ‘Scotland forever!’” Fred stated.

Stella’s look only intensified.

“The fuck’s that even mean?”

“Just do it for me, please!” Fredrick demanded impishly, barely able to contain a forthcoming giggling fit.

The thestral rolled her eyes and turned towards Canterlot in it's entirety, quickly glancing back to Fred.

“The shit I do for you,” was all she said before she let loose a powerful war cry to all who would hear:

“SCOOOOOOOOTLAND FOOOOOOOOREVER!”

Fred doubled over in bellowing guffaw; it literally could not have been any more perfect if there were bagpipes involved.

Stella had a tiny giggle, if that, but more so because she had no idea what the hell it meant, and why Fredrick nearly choked to death on his own spit saying ‘perfect’ repeatedly. Perhaps it was just a human thing. Like Fredrick had with her, Stella also knew not to question some of Fredrick’s antics, though those usually revolved less on actions and more on pop culture references.

It was a quick trip back to Fredrick’s room after that; they opted for his room mainly because Stella was off the next day and her sleep schedule ‘was pretty fucked as it were.’ There was little flair involved in their little ‘homecoming,’ as Stella just threw open the door and dove-to-prone on the bed, flopping onto her front.

No one noticed the soft glow of the candles, nor the gentle breeze that animated the sheer curtains… the only thing the batpony did was regret her little burst of exuberance as more alcohol processed into her system.

“Fuck… that wasn’t a fukkin’ good idea. I think I’m m’re drunk naw…” she mumbled through her pillow.

Fredrick observed from afar, much like a parent would their rambunctious child finally giving up on their existence for a few moments. He chuckled and shed his jacket to the floor as he strode up along the bedside.

Stella’s shirt had ridden up her torso a modest amount and Fred placed his left hand on the small of her back, then running his palm up to her neck.

“You alright, Stel’?” the human asked, burying his face into her mane.

“Nnnph.”

“You really drunk, hun?”

“Mmph.”

Fredrick had a distinct inability to not smile at the moment, and he massaged the back of his marefriend’s neck as he tried anything he could to possibly help her through her titanic-level slogging.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Mmph.”

“Water?”

“Cunt.”

“Water it is,” Fredrick said, nodding.

He then glided over to his bathroom with a tall glass in tow to fetch Stella just that. However, he had a bit of an ulterior motive:

Stealing a glance out the door to make sure she was still facedown (and breathing), Fredrick cackled inwardly as he produced a small vial that he had left in the bathroom vanity drawer—pure, concentrated Poison Joke.

Courtesy of Princess Luna.

Fredrick securely held the small vial of glimmering-blue powder, powder which twinkled as he rolled the container in his palm.

And with one motion, he popped the top off and dumped the entire serving’s-worth, the substance instantly darkening the water to a cobalt-blue color. Following Luna’s simple directions, he made sure to grab a spoon that he had tucked way for the purpose to stir.

Using his finger like he would be so inclined to do would yield disastrous results for him.

To his satisfaction, the newfound color of Stella’s to-be drinking water cleared away entirely, leaving her beverage as crystal clear as one would come to expect from an ordinary glass of water.

Perfect.

After that, it was little effort in reemerging from the bathroom with the glass and delivering it to the questionably suffering mare… who had not moved a single inch from the spot she flopped down on initially.

Fredrick placed his right index and middle finger on the crook of Stella’s neck.

You know, just in case.

“I'm nae fukkin’ dead ya arsehole.”

Fred giggled, patting her butt.

“Juuuuust checking,” he said, then placed the glass on the nightstand.

“Your water. Drink.”

Stella grumbled as she rolled over cutely, especially as she thrusted her v-neck-clad chest in the air to stretch. Her eyes lidded in drunken fatigue having caught up to her, she eyed the tall glass of water like her last lifeline.

Fredrick did her a solid and handed it to her as he sat next to her, to which Stella smiled softly at him.

“Cheers love,” came her equally soft reply.

And then she brought the rim of the glass to her lips and gulped down the entire thing.

Fredrick looked on with a small sense of victory, more than eager for payback at the mini hell that was Stella’s last prank on him. By the same token, however, he still harbored a vague sense of guilt; feeling bad in implementing his prank when she was in such a state, but then again, the effects were supposed to take over a few hours to appear. They would then remain for an undetermined amount of time, so getting some sleep would be the perfect way to pass the time until then.

“Ahhhh,” Stella cooed when she finished her drink, setting the glass aside.

Fredrick gave a half-smirk, shuffling over her and laying down on her right.

“Better?”

“Fer now, yeah.”

In a move that evoked a cocked eyebrow from Fredrick, Stella snuggled right into his side and lay a hand on his chest. She inserted her muzzle right into the crook of his neck.

He could feel the no-small amount of heat radiating off of her body, especially her face. Her gentle, steady breaths broke apart on the most sensitive area of his vulnerable spot, doing well to make him to hum in approval.

The thestral smiled.

“Now Ah’m really better, hehe.”

Fredrick chuckled at her little actions, and knew words were not necessary. However, actions spoke infinitely louder, so he left his left-hand rest around her back and dutifully keep Stella where she was. As he had lamented over many times in the past, Stella was never much of a cuddler—he took advantage of these moments whenever they arose.

He thought it ended there for the evening, that the two of them would fall asleep in each other's embrace.

Apparently not.

“Oi, you awake Fred?”

“It's literally been fifteen seconds.”

“Shaddup.”

“Fine. Be that way.”

Stella giggled all girly-like for a moment, then planted exactly three kisses on the underside of Fredrick’s jaw.

She lay her head back where it was with a blissful sigh.

“I've never really cared if ponies came or fucked off in me life… but it's always nice when somepony like you stays for more than just dinner.”

Holy shit.

It was a simple assertion, but Fredrick inhaled sharply at her words… words which were tantamount to saying that she more than simply enjoys having him in her life. She said that so clearly and coherently that Fred was beginning to wonder whether her inebriation had vanished into thin air!

And then came the heart flutter.

And the heat.

And the blush.

Fuck me this is so gay. Feelings ‘n shit.

There was nothing to say to that that would not sound in the slightest bit cheesy, but thankfully, Stella intercepted any attempt to say something stupid:

“C-Can I sleep here t’night, mate?” she asked with uncharacteristic timidity and fatigue.

Fredrick let his eyelids fall closed, and he pulled Stella that much tighter against him.

“Never had to ask in the past, and the same holds true now. Of course.”

No response.

“Stel’?”

The tiniest, audible breathing/borderline snoring could be heard over the quiet ambiance of the room and the nocturnal world outside… and the steady rhythm in which her back rose and fell with cyclic breathing told Fredrick all he needed to know.

It took little push to send Fredrick on his way to his dreams as well, and with mutual, tired smiles adorned on both of their satisfied countenances, the night ended then and there.

Neither bothered to change into anything more comfortable.

[The Next Morning…]

The blinding, initial golden rays of Celestia’s rising sun could not have come soon enough.

It was always a treat to see a softer side of Stella… for it was a side of her that she rarely showed anypony save for the ones whom she held so near and dear. Of course, she was pretty drunk, but Fredrick was a staunch believer of the whole ‘drunk words/actions are sober thoughts’ mantra, so while he took some stuff with a grain of salt, the rest he took to heart.

And words like those coming from a mouth like hers would do well to warm him on even the coldest nights Equestria could offer.

It wasn’t that he felt she didn’t care about him… oh no, she had her ways of showing that. But, it was just the sweetest thing to see her act timid and bear her soul once in a while. Just like with her cuddly nature (or lack thereof), he treasured each and every one of those moments that had come to pass in their aggregate relationship.

And as creepy as it sounded, even in his own eyes, Fred felt she looked gorgeous sleeping.

Both were keenly aware that Stella’s sleep schedule was screwed up for the last couple of days and would be for the next few. The culprit was what Stella claimed to be a nightmare about something that scared the shit out of her while she was deployed in the Badlands years ago. Whatever it happened to be, he knew for a fact that there was no resurgence of it last night, and Stella slept like a petrified log.

With the tiniest remnant sleepiness in his eyes, Fredrick continued to let his head be embraced by the pillows as he gazed upon his mare. Stella, who had lay on her back with her head tilted towards him, remained peacefully asleep with her mouth ever-so-slightly slack. Fredrick almost fell back asleep in the Saturday morning sunlight just by how comforting a cadence her rhythmic inhaling and exhaling provided, but he valiantly resisted.

Planting the most miniscule of kisses on the tip of her muzzle, Fredrick scooted closer to her and cupped her exposed cheek. He caressed her lovingly with his thumb, stroking her cheek with a wide arc and feeling how velvety smooth her coat felt. As he parted the tiniest follicles with his thumb with his little gesture, the human just could not stop staring.

He was so lucky.

This mare was so terrifyingly quickly becoming his entire world.

But as if his thoughts took a left turn at ‘nope-ville,’ Fred realized that the Poison Joke that he administered last night should have taken effect by now. At least on her face, there were no obvious deformities or anything comical about her.

He even lifted the blankets to check under them.

Nope. She looked exactly the same in her shorts and v-neck as she did the previous night. Her tail and mane were still styled in their usual fashion, albeit a bit frizzy from sleeping.

Nothing.

Guess it failed. Bleh.

Stella’s eyelids fliched lightly after all of Fred’s shifting around, and she groaned whilst stretching her arms wide over her head (even smacking Fred in the face without a care in the world).

He didn’t care though; she more than made up for it with that heart attack-inducing yawn which exposed those four immensely cute fangs of hers.

Clicking her tongue a couple of times and yawning again, she turned to Fredrick… and the way her eyes and entire visage lit up at just locking eyes with him nearly sent the poor human into another blushing spree.

She smiled the quintessential ‘Stella Smile.’

“G’mornin’ poof—ahem I mean darlin’ coltfriend,” she greeted in a style most reminiscent of her, fluttering her eyelashes.

But, she topped it off with a peck on the lips.

All was normal.

“Good morning to you, cutie,” he replied, lying back once again and facing the ceiling.

Stella pursed her lips and considered his words for a few seconds.

“Not so sure how I still feel about that word, to be honest… but then again, I was probably sappy as fudge last night. Shirt I got so goshdarn drunk.”

Fredrick’s eyes snapped entirely open, and then he raised the hugest eyebrow he had in a long time.

He slowly turned to her with that same expression never wavering.

“W-What the hell did you just say?”

Stella scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“I said I got fudging slogged last night, didn’t I tell ya get the corn outta yer ears like thirty flippin’ times already?” she spit out without much thought.

Then, she blinked. Hard.

And a grin of hellish proportions began to slowly but surely worm its way on Fredrick’s face.

“W-Wait, what the flop did I just say?!” she demanded of herself, sitting up straight.

Her hand instantly covered her mouth, and Fredrick was quick to sit up and confirm if his suspicions were indeed correct.

Even so, he was having a hell of a time suppressing an impending giggle fit.

“Stella… what the fuck are you saying?”

His little high-pitched squeak that he tried to masquerade as a cough did not persuade Stella at all, however, and she instantly homed in on him with a glare that could commit genocide.

“What. The. FLIPPER. Did. You. Do?!” she demanded to know, but she had no control over what her third word came out as.

She recoiled off the bed and stood up, grasping her cheeks.

“I can’t curse…?” she inferred, beginning to pace back and forth parallel to the side of the bed.

She repeated those words over and over.

By now, Fredrick was barely making any effort to hold in his snickers.

“Well, by my observations…” he began sarcastically. “You do indeed seem to not be able to swear.”

Stella ignored him and decided on a simple test of tongue:

“Fudge. Shin. Darn. Cat. Wait. Shinfudge… what the shudder Fredrick?!” she devolved into a pleading mess when her litmus testing failed spectacularly.

She bounded over to him and gripped him on the cheeks.

“WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!”

Fredrick had little cause to be afraid, however, and his expression remained a constant battle between composure and laughing through his teeth.

Still, he had enough sense to utter a single word:

“Payback.”

Only right then did it dawn on Stella what he meant—payback. Payback for the prank she pulled on him over a month ago. Her eyes widened and she stumbled back.

Whatever witchcraft he performed on her, to say she was ‘not pleased’ at its results would be the understatement of world history.

“You…” she hissed, pointing directly at him. “You gee-darn MONSTER!”

She then grasped him with all her strength by his shirt and yanked him to his feet on the floor. Despite the couple-inch size disparity, Stella was determined to resolve this matter immediately.

Coyness was Fredrick’s most hilarious friend at the moment:

“Can I help you?”

This mare was not having it.

“You piece of shed laced scabby twangbag ye GIMME BACK MAH CURSE WORDS!”

“Mmmmmmmmm no.”

The thestral looked like her face was gonna explode from how red in the cheeks she was. Her eyes looked like they were boiling on the inside, and she violently shook Fredrick where he stood.

“THIS IS NOT FLOGGIN’ NEGOTIABLE YA PRISSY SHED!”

Continuing to test the limits of Stella’s wrath on layaway, Fredrick glanced upward at the ceiling, then began tapping his chin with his index finger.

Stella probably would’ve shot him by now if she had the means.

Cryptically, Fred had his response:

“Tell you what. I’ll tell you how to cure it if you do one thing for me…”

Remaining silent yet vigilant, Stella only blinked a couple of times, teeth remaining bared. The human took this as his cue to reveal his one condition:

“Stella, I want you to call me a ‘cunt.’”

Her eyes shone of true fear for the first time Fredrick had seen, but never one to back down from a challenge, Stella dropped into a much more bellicose stance. She raised her hand and pointed right at his face, shaking her head.

With a deathly-low tone, she said:

“You…”

With a smug simper to rival some of his favorite animes, Fred infuriatingly tilted his head to the left and simply replied:

“Yes…?”

“…are an enormous…”

Fredrick blinked between parts of Stella’s sentences.

“…saggy…”

“…shriveled…”

“…incomprehensible…”

“…infected…”

“…c-c-c-c…”

Fred continually interjected and egged her on with a faux-cheer routine, jumping up and down like a giddy child:

“Come on, Stella… call me a cunt!”

That first letter was all Stella could muster, and a small vein throbbed on her forehead as she fought with all her might to say a word that was likely her first ever spoken word. She fought, she strained against the disconnect between her mouth and brain that the Poison Joke unknowingly trifled with.

All the while, Fredrick tucked his lips inward at the display and was on the verge of losing his shit entirely.

That is… until Stella’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed like a rag doll, hitting the floor with a deafening, hollow smack.

Fredrick stood there stiff, jaw slack, and eyes bugged out.

“Oh shit…”

[Castle Infirmary]

“Well, she definitely collapsed as a result of a stress-induced fainting spell… first I’ve ever seen Miss Sabre faint,” said one of the castle’s main medical staff: a familiar Nurse Nightcross.

The older, uniformed mare glossed over her clipboard of Stella’s information and vitals in front of an understandably worried Fredrick while the mare in question lay resting on a hospital bed next to them.

The Lunar Residence Hall was thankfully close to the infirmary, and Fredrick was able to scoop up the downed batpony in his arms and heft her there, bridal style. She received a room with no issue and within minutes, she was on basic IV fluid drips and some magical stimulants to be safe.

The human breathed a sigh of relief, running a hand through his wholly unkempt hair.

“That’s a relief. Shit… so, about the umm, Poison Joke?” he added.

Nurse Nightcross nodded understandingly.

“That wasn’t a problem. When magical scans detected it in her system we administered the antidote through the general IV package. She should be good to get back on her hooves in an hour or so,” she informed.

The nurse then flipped through the last sheets of her clipboard and placed it under her arm.

“In the future, I’d suggest avoiding pranks involving the wretched flower… for her sake, mostly,” she weighed in, giggling.

Fredrick chuckled awkwardly at that, because he knew that, while Stella was in perfect health despite what happened, he was now worried about his own safety when she would eventually wake up.

Thankfully, though, such an untimely demise never came. Stella, ever the bombastic yet reasonable mare, was unusually quiet when she walked out of the infirmary at Fred’s side. She proposed a small ‘ceasefire’ of sorts in terms of pranks, and promised to put a few things off limits in exchange for ‘never letting her get near Poison Joke ever again for the rest of her natural fuckin’ life.’

Fredrick agreed wholeheartedly. Thus, the rest of the day was spent with Stella having a new, powerful appreciation for her ability to articulate swear-phrases like some pony-Shakespeare.

Relatively normal, all things considered. However, Fredrick was alerted to just how naïve he still was at times… especially expecting things to continue a little more normally during the final week before their trip.

Six days came and went since that eventful, hilarious, yet indubitably plot-twist-y day.

When Fredrick would get off work for the day, he had come to expect a certain bit of normalcy when he would make his way back to his room via his usual, leisurely stroll.

Briefcase in tow and jacket slung over his shoulder, the human had would assume (though this varied slightly depending on the day) that he'd run into some castle staff that he had become acquainted and decent friends with, so maybe he'd stop and chat for a few moments…

...Or perhaps he would have dinner with Princess Celestia or Luna at the culmination of his work shift. All told, there wasn't a whole lot that would go on at the end of a particular business day, but there was some variety and figurative Hot Bobby Sauce to spice things up a bit when Stella wasn't forcefully making Fred’s life more… enriched.

But even with Stella popping into his life as his best friend and now girlfriend/marefriend, one thing that Fredrick could say for certain that would not happen on any form of regular basis would be finding a large, rectangular, two-way military service radio sitting on his bed, occupying space like some protesting hippies.

But, lo and behold, that’s exactly what was discovered when Fredrick opened his door.

Standing there in white dress shirt, black tie, and black slacks, he stared blankly at that very device that he knew for one hundred percent certain did not belong in his room.

And after what seemed like a small eternity of wrapping his mind around this, Fred dropped his briefcase.

“The hell…?”

He shut the door behind him and took tentative, calculating steps towards the oversized, magically-powered device. He knew for a fact Stella was responsible for this… he could practically smell her having meddled in his domain.

But still. This was a damn huge radio.

As Fredrick stood beside his bed and looked down upon the foreign object, he ran through his mind if it was beyond Stella to bomb his room.

Yeah, probably beyond her…

So with that thought easily put to rest, Fredrick still had to figure out exactly why this radio was in his room, or more specifically, why Stella put it there and buggered off without letting him know.

But in placing his palm on the smooth, flat surface and running over it, his fingers felt something paper-like on the other side.

Looking curiously, Fred found a small little note taped there, with some rather familiar handwriting scribbled onto it. Knowing now that he was not in any imminent danger from pranking or bombing, he detached the note to read its contents.

Turn the magic frequency dial to exactly halfway beyond the seventh notch after ‘5’ and establish contact when you read this.

Cunt.

;)

Fred’s jaw slackened and he raised a lone eyebrow.

“O-Okay…?”

Still acting out of caution rather than adventure, he took a seat on the bed and found the receiver. Assuming the simplicity of how things worked, he brought it up to his face while he searched for the ‘magical frequency’ dial. There were several knobs to choose from, but he figured his best bet, after powering the device on, was to tune the center one which had ‘MF’ embossed above it.

“...halfway past the seventh notch…” he mumbled, trying to get it exactly right.

There was some activity in the earpiece of the receiver as it whirred to life, as if someone was physically strangling the static, though it did not sound like ‘normal’ static or interference. Fred surmised this was because of the magical component of this.

Suddenly it disappeared, leaving a completely open line, free of interference.

Yet, nothing sounded.

Fredrick listened awkwardly, full of suspense and not having an inkling of an idea whether to just speak or let fate take its course from here.

His intuition for the weird proved correct.

“I see you figured out how to work it. Knew you would,” came a certain, oddly smooth, Scottish drawl layered over the gentlest static.

Fredrick cracked a half smirk and loosed a chuckle at the sound of her voice, laying back on his bed and kicking his shoes off after deeming the whole ordeal safe.

With an equally tranquil tone, he replied:

“Yeah, took a little bit of tinkering… though I was sure it was a bomb.”

Fredrick heard her click her tongue a couple of times, and he could practically see her shaking her head.

“So sure that you’re one step ahead o’me, are ye? Haven’t I told you that yer not fuckin’ sneaky?”

The human ran his free hand through his hair, placing it behind his head as he relaxed his eyes. He grinned as his next words filtered out:

“That only applies when I’m staring at your tits and ass. I’m quite sneaky otherwise,” he noted.

A genuine, hearty laughter came from the other side of the line.

“True… they are sights to behold,” Stella agreed.

“How’s yer day, love?”

Fredrick continued to relax to his marefriend’s accent, falling into the conversation as if the odd medium were not a factor at all. Hell, she could probably just whisper ‘cunt’ into his ear over and over again and he’d most likely be fast asleep.

“It was pretty good, just a bit tiring,” he said. “Been chasing Celestia around all day because it’s court season, so I’ve definitely been getting my exercise in.”

Typical with Stella, her witty response was fronted immediately.

“Bet yer gettin’ a nice heapin’ of solar ass with that view from behind…”

By now, Fredrick knew better than to get worked up over Stella’s teasing and prodding, though that did not stop him from slipping up often. This wasn’t one of those times, and the fact that she was not physically present likely contributed to his confidence.

Having also learned from the queen of banter herself, Fredrick replied nonchalantly:

“Oh you fuckin’ know it, babe. I think even you agree that she’s got a nice butt,” he then proposed.

A snort broke through the receiver, followed by a very girly giggle.

“Better tits in my trained opinion, but not a bad ass by any means…” she voiced.

Fredrick raised an eyebrow.

“‘Trained?’”

“Yes. ‘Trained.’ Fuck you.”

Fredrick huffed victoriously, recognizing the telltale tone of having gotten under Stella’s skin for once.

“So what’re you up to?” he asked. “How’s your day, and why talk like this when you can just walk or fly over? And how the hell did you get this military radio? I’m pretty sure this is not legal somehow.”

The second one was the question of the night, actually; Stella was not shy about coming over whenever she pleased, and often dropping by unannounced. Why the sudden change this time?

Fredrick had his answer within the moment:

“Well, firstly, my day was… okay, thank you for askin’, love. Thirdly, it’s only illegal if ya get caught. No one will notice. This is a frequency nopony uses. And secondly…”

Though her reiterating the questions out of order amused him, Fredrick became a tad curious when Stella suddenly stopped speaking, and cleared her throat. Of course, this was no cue to interject, and Stella promptly continued:

“My day was okay because me heat started today. That ties into why we’re talkin’ like this… it’s really really really fuckin’ wise that yer not around me right now,” she expressed.

Fredrick’s curious complexion returned, bobbing his head as he considered her words. Her explanation begged a question though, one which Fred was all too eager to investigate:

“Huh… your heat? I thought those lasted for like, one to two weeks. I’ve never really gone without seeing you at least once a week.”

An affirming ‘mhm!’ sounded from the receiver, followed by Stella’s lecture-esque response:

“Yeah. Fer normal ponies, the lucky shitfucks. Batpony heats last only two or three days... however, they’re much MUCH more powerful, borderline crippling.”

That explained it.

“Ahh… gotcha. Makes sense. Does it like, hurt?” Fred asked.

“It can, with how hard me fud throbs... like right now. Ugh, fuck me, it’s like havin’ a second heart between m’legs!”

Stella then alluded with trailing words:

“But yeah. As much as I’d really love to be there right now for a number of reasons, for both of our sakes, it’s best that I’m not…”

But of course, Fredrick was practically handed an opportunity on a silver platter to play coy with his obviously struggling marefriend at the moment.

He smirked deviously before speaking his mind.

“Yeah? Why, would you just jump and bang me or a random girl or dude who happens to cross your path? Guessing that’s why you isolate yourselves,” he teased.

The batpony on the other line answered without missing a single beat:

“Nae. Just you. I’d probably fuck you into the stone foundations of this castle to be completely fuckin’ honest,” came her candid response.

Just the way she said it sent a heat that ebbed from his core through his entire body. He blushed heavily as his eyes lidded at the thought.

“Hmm… that doesn’t sound so bad, actually.”

Another giggle from the other side, this time a high, sultry one.

“Yeah?” Stella replied. “I’m sure you’d enjoy me barging in there, tearing me clothes off, pinning you to the bed and stabbing m’self with that rock hard cock of yours as I ride you like nopony else…

“And don’t even try tae tell me yer not diamonds right now,” she added cheekily.

Fredrick looked down at his prone form and found that, indeed, he was sporting a fairly prominent bulge in his pants.

Huh… would ya look at that.

“Yeah. Guess I am!”

“Hmmmmmmmmm…” Stella pondered sultrily. “Good. Perhaps you’d even like to toss me on yer bed and cozy up between me legs, huh? Rip me knickers off and just jam yer dick into me minge over and over and over again?”

The heat in Fredrick’s cheeks rose proportionally to the amount of shits he did not give. Was this how it was gonna go down? Was this like… phone sex?

Radio sex?

“That doesn’t sound like a bad place to be, come to think of it,” he mused playfully.

He then added with as much cheek to match his marefriend:

“Something tells me, though, that you’d be the one to prefer me burying my dick into you… with your personality, you’re definitely a sub at some point,” he prodded.

“Hmmmm on occasion…” came the response.

Such a response, however, was quickly followed up with a teasing tone that only mares of Stella’s caliber were even remotely capable of:

“Would ye like to find out which position I prefer, Fredrick?”

Fred’s heart rate shot up immediately, and he could feel it pounding in his ribcage, rattling its prison bars and demanding release from his chest cavity. He gulped once, his earlier confidence waning only a teeny bit. While he didn’t like rushing into one-night stands in the past, this was well past that point. To say that he did not want to have sex with Stella would have him sanctioned under the mental health acts of Equestria.

“I really would, Stel.’”

Another conniving giggle emanated from the earpiece, along with a cute yawn.

But further, Fredrick felt he distinctly heard a struggled whine, borderline moan. His ears had never really failed him and that sounded much too strained to be a side effect of her yawn… so that would mean…

“Are… are you touching yourself??” Fred ventured to ask, genuine curiosity lacing his features.

“Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe mind yer own fuckin’ business.”

After loosing a pent up laugh of his own, Fredrick borrowed some confidence from his future self and, shakily, presented an alternative as smoothly as possible:

“W-Well, maybe you could, you know, get your ass over here and I'll do it for you?”

Instead of provoking a sexy reaction like he had hoped, Stella, instead, burst into rapturous laughter.

She was lucky that her specific laugh was always contagious.

“Fuck me, mate, you sound like a school colt askin’ tae see his first set of tits,” she giggled out through pauses in her fit.

Fredrick rolled his eyes and flushed away any unnecessary embarrassment that that little episode lavished onto him. However, Stella beat his response with a prompt follow up once she calmed down with a pleasant sigh.

“Yeah, well, yer just gonna have to wait, mate. As much as I’d love to just pin you down and suck you dry, among other things…” she began, pausing for dramatic effect as well as to elicit some reaction from Fred.

His disappointment was palpable.

“Oh… yeah?” he asked, cueing her to continue.

“...I don’t particularly find gettin’ knocked up so good for my career. Nor do I think you wanna be a dad at the moment. Ovulatin’ like a motherfucker I’ll fuckin’ tell ye.”

In a moment of clarity, Fred’s nerdiness shined through and as such, he felt the need to correct the record.

“Well, actually, I was curious about this when the topic of ‘heat’ came up four months ago with Celestia and Luna. I’m actually not genetically compatible enough for human sperm to fertilize an egg viably, though it can be done,” he explained.

He then finished off with:

“It’d require magical intervention.”

After his last words, it sounded like the line went dead. There was nothing.

Not a peep.

And the only indication that Stella even heard the question was her suddenly breaking the silence with a resounding:

“...What?”

“Yeah!” Fred replied. “Can’t knock you up even if I wanted to.”

This time, he knew for a fact the line went dead. The interesting thing was that before the connection abruptly cut off, he could have sworn he heard something that sounded like a door slamming.

“Stella?” Fredrick called through the receiver.

Nothing, as expected.

“Hm. Bad connection,” he thought to himself, hefting the device off his bed and setting the receiver close by.

He figured that Stella would re-establish connection within a few moments. But, those moments turned into minutes… and he then gandered that she would not be coming back on the line.

Shrugging, he set the receiver aside and lay back on his bed to get comfortable as he had before. Resting his eyes yet again to attempt to quell his still-present erection, his mind drifted back to the latter half of the conversation they were having.

Then it hit him.

His eyes shot open when he distinctly remembered hearing the door slam on his end of the line.

And coincidentally, his door then rattled on its hinges with an enormous crash, forcing him ramrod on his ass.

“Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick~...” came a drawn out, sultry call in an ever-familiar Scottish drawl that was always the harbinger of ‘interesting’ things to come.

Not this time.

Still, despite the sudden rush of unease that broke over his body, Fred had to remind himself that it was just his marefriend outside of the door.

“Uhh… the door’s unlocked, Stel’.”

He barely got her name out of his mouth before the mare in question barged in and slammed the offending slab of ebony wood closed.

Fredrick had to come to grips with what he was looking at.

There stood Stella as she had many times before, though she was breathing very heavily, like she had just done a PT regimen. Clad in, surprisingly, only a plain indigo bra and mesh shorts, her coat and mane complemented the choice in attire with neither being neatly groomed at all. Though in its typical ponytail fashion, Stella’s locks were messily put together, frizzy and unkempt. Her eyes, though, were what took the cake:

Her irises were enormous currently… and Fredrick was not entirely sure if they were even the same size.

Stella sported an, admittedly, unnerving, teeth-baring smile… just to top it all off.

While there was some innate sexiness in seeing this mare so unkempt and unmade in so little attire, Fredrick couldn’t stave off the fact that she looked almost disturbed.

He stared, slack-jawed, at his marefriend who looked even more unpredictable than ever.

Said marefriend’s right eye twitched, and in a move completely unexpected to the gawking human, she pulled a small pistol from her waistband.

As would be thought natural, he reacted a bit harshly, falling off the bed and quickly shuffling to his feet whilst putting distance between her and him with his hands raised.

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

He calmed down immediately after, however, when he saw that the barrel was much too narrow.

“Okay that's definitely not real. What the shit is wrong with you??” he dared to ask.

She, however, only closed the aforementioned distance.

“Whip yer fukkin’ tackle out,” she ordered, the ‘r’s in her speech much more heavily accented.

She lazily pointed her pistol at him, and Fredrick rolled his eyes, opening his arms and shrugging in complete confusion.

“You know you don't have to demand right? Besides, where's the ‘please?’”

He flinched harshly when his face was suddenly splattered with cool stream of water three times in quick succession.

Stella gave him no chance to react with words, though, and she quickly made any remaining distance between them negligible. She backed Fredrick right up against the wall.

She then declared flatly:

“It drops its trousers to its shins or else it gets the squirt again.”

She squirted him anyway, and Fredrick grunted and batted the infernal contraption out of her hands.

“Fuck! Can you stop?!”

The batpony appeared to care little for the sudden loss of her little offensive weapon, and instead relied on brawn to tenderly (yet firmly) press Fredrick flush against the wall. She gazed hungrily up into his eyes as she pressed her torso against his in kind, eliciting an equal, reciprocal reaction from him in the form of his hands around her waist.

The almost whiny aspect of her tone made her seem like she was begging:

“Come on, Fred… this shit’s killing me and I’m so fucking horny right now!” she exclaimed.

“Jesus Christ though, you didn’t have to point a fake goddamn gun at me to get me to have sex with you, you know,” Fredrick pointed out.

Stella only looked to him almost condescendingly, cupping his cheek as she further pushed her chest and lower-abs into his own.

“Now tell me, where’s the fun in makin’ a boring entrance, hmmm…?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair, tracing her nails against his scalp.

Fredrick always enjoyed the head-scratches, so he gave her a pass solely based on that.

He lowered his grip down to her butt, and Stella appeared to subtly shudder at the contact; she really was sensitive today.

Fred then countered rhetorically:

“Guess it wouldn’t be ‘you’ if you didn’t make such an entrance, huh?”

“Nope!”

And with that, Stella—quite aggressively at that—smashed her lips against his with a rather profound moan. At barely an instant thereafter, her tongue was already worming its way into Fredrick’s mouth, and while a violation of the sovereignty of his mouth would often be called into question, this was the only exception.

“Mmm…!” Fred groaned in return, pulling Stella as tight as he could against him.

Though, realistically, it was clear who was really in control at the moment.

That’s when his irritation was cast aside, and Fred was suddenly very aware of a smell… a subtle, yet pungent aroma that wafted up from where Stella stood. It was not bad by any means, and in fact it was actually quite… intoxicating. Where once he was in a clear state of mind, his head felt like it was swimming, lightheaded, almost like he had a low-grade fever or a headache though he retained enough clarity to know this was certainly not the case.

And the resurrection of his length confirmed his suspicions.

Putting two and two together, he realized it was she who was indeed emitting this smell… and whatever it was (he had a pretty good idea), it was muddying up his thought process and lowering his inhibitions.

So, he separated and buried his face in the crook of her neck, then took another deep whiff.

Oh boy did Stella smell good.

Whatever hormones or magical fuckery she was emitting with that heat-stricken, pulsing vagina of hers… he did not think he’d get enough of it. He likened it to a cross of fermented sweat (which usually was associated with ‘disgusting’) and a thick, overpowering fruity smell.

Fredrick chomped down on Stella’s neck nice and hard, sinking his teeth against her skin as if he could physically eat the smell by proxy. Naturally, this evoked a more than pleased groan from the batpony, who shuddered mildly at the new, welcome contact.

After a few extra seconds of exchanging little nibbles, giggles, and groans, Stella separated from her coltfriend (though she had to squirm longingly against him first) and gripped him by the nape, digging her nails into his skin whilst staring straight through his eyes.

She had one last tidbit of information to share:

“You know… Equestrian law dictates that all employers grant at the minimum two days every six months of ‘heat leave,’ for both stallions and mares for obvious, amazing reasons…”

Fredrick stared back blankly.

“Wait, you shitting me?”

Stella shook her head, smile as wide as her face.

“Nope! So guess what, I’m calling in yer heat leave right fuckin’ now!” she exclaimed, gripping him by the shirt and hurling him towards the bed.

Fredrick’s knees buckled backward when his legs contacted his bed, and he landed on his back softly, gawking up at a yet-again advancing Stella.

The mare bit her lip, predatorially yet sexily sashaying her way between his legs and leaning right over him.

“You’ve got food, water, an’ alcohol in yer room… whaddya say you gimme a proper fuck?” Stella suggested.

It wasn’t a suggestion.

Fredrick felt he was being naïve at the moment; after all, heat was not exactly glorified as much as he thought it would have. Stella was quite literally throwing herself at him, and since it was painfully obvious (aside from way of erection demanding release from his slacks) that he found her physically attractive, he would be willing to go along with whatever she had planned.

This was a day he thought would not come in a good while… and he was wise to stow his tongue this time around since he actually wanted to get his hands on her boobies this time around.

He lidded his eyes and bit his lower lip in kind, the blood swelling to both his face and crotch, his heart racing beyond levels he thought were possible.

This was it.

He was gonna get some…

…from Stella.

“Hell yes I am!”

Stella grinned lasciviously, her heat-stricken eyes gleaming at his eager answer.

“Good… because yer fuckin’ mine fer the next day and a half, aye?”

“Hot-fucking-diggity giggity fuck yes!”

Then, Stella pounced…

Author's Note

Oh boy HERE WE GO!

Y'all know what's next!

Feel free to leave a comment on this chapter especially, because there's a lot of stuff here that I wanted to cover. Shouldn't be this crowded in the future.

Thanks guys, hope you enjoyed!

8. [Clop] She's the Goddamn Batmare 2: Electric Boogaloo

Stella loomed over Fredrick’s prone form, the latter eyeing her up with a most inviting lip bite.

Though she was more concerned with getting relief in a certain area as top priority, she was not deaf to her own emotions and feelings entirely. With her hip cocked to the left and her tail swishing anxiously at what would soon transpire, Stella could practically feel Fredrick’s penetrating gaze roaming over her form… bending her over the bed in spirit.

She could feel how much he wanted her… how much he so wanted to just give into her very whim and allow himself to be used to her liking. She knew she was the sexiest mare alive to him right now.

And she absolutely loved it.

She craved it.

Just as she craved him.

The lone thought of Fredrick wanting to expend all his pent-up sexual desires on her—and her alone—sent an enormous tingle up her spine and a forceful surge of blood southward. Further, it filled Stella with enough motivation to quite literally pounce once Fredrick delivered his final affirmation.

Her wings had expanded to their full span, as well.

As for the poor man, the last thing he saw clearly was Stella losing her shorts (leaving her in plain-black thong) and throwing herself on him with all her weight. She slammed her lower body into his when she straddled him, and damn-near evacuated his lungs of air.

He whined as his diaphragm compressed unwillingly.

“Jeeeeeesus…” he wheezed.

Her response was a simple, breathy assertion:

“I’m gonna milk you fuckin’ dry.”

Fred’s pleads for air were answered instead with Stella’s own lips, as she affixed them right onto his. Any attempt of his to struggle into a more comfortable position was quelled the moment Stella’s tongue pressed forward.

T’was familiar and always welcome incursion into the sovereign territory of his mouth.

Both groaned the instant their tongues began their rehearsed dueling routine, and Fredrick’s hold on Stella tightened considerably.

Their crotches still pressed firmly together, the fire in their loins remained ever-desperate to connect in shared euphoria. All ten of Fredrick’s fingers traced firm lines down Stella’s backside, digging his nails into her skin to emphasize just what she did to him.

He tugged playfully at her bra, to tease at what would eventually be the inevitable, before continuing his descent downward… eventually sinking his grip into that perfect butt of hers.

Unlike through shorts or pants, her thong offered no clothing with which to grab through, thus Fredrick was afforded essentially her bare ass to fondle with impunity.

And fondle he did.

Once his fingers sunk into that heavenly rear of hers, Stella shuddered harshly, which only spurred the human on further. His fingertips memorized just how far he could sink into her before resistance from rock-hard muscle, and he used this to deep-massage her to his liking.

Fredrick learned a little fact: Stella loved her ass played with, and he giving her the deep-tissue massage of a lifetime only served to extort involuntary pants and groans out of the mare’s mouth.

Then, he gave her a nice, firm swat on the left cheek, feeling just the right amount of jiggle.

“Mmmph!” Stella moaned deeply, nipping on Fredrick’s lower lip and nearly drawing blood with her fangs.

Neither cared though, and Stella was given the green light to assault Fred’s face with her mouth and teeth once again.

Her hips developed a gentle, slow bucking rhythm, pressing deeply forward and back. She grinded her covered slit against her human coltfriend’s imprisoned, completely-hardened rod.

She could feel his entire length throughout her movement, and her already-soaked nethers were practically screaming for the attention their counterpart could provide.

Stella’s movements were needy. Desperate. And she fought to get every little bit of her tongue inside Fred’s mouth (to the point of suffocating him) as if it would bring her any relief between her legs.

In the end, she settled for prying her lips off his and running the flat of her larger tongue up his neck and over his cheeks.

She marked him like he was hers.

He was hers. Hers and hers only.

And he knew it.

As Stella dragged her tongue up to his hairline, she exposed yet another vulnerable spot that Fredrick loved to exploit: her neck. He seized the opportunity like a child with free candy, and sunk his canines directly into her collar once he adjusted himself into a more comfortable sitting position.

Her moan was gentle, pleading… yet it flowed unbidden.

She still straddled his waist.

“Ooooh fuck!”

Fredrick lavished her with the same treatment she bestowed him, if only partially. He soothed her little bite with his tongue before delivering his breathy reply.

“Always figured you loved things a little rough…”

Stella clasped her hands around the back of Fred’s head, and the latter took a deep whiff of her scent.

“I love rough. I’ll be yer dirty slut if you just make me cum Fred please I’m dying!”

She punctuated her words by continuing to sway her hips in every direction, pressing herself against him. Fredrick was guilty of the exact same thing, and they both moved with each other’s lower bodies for any measure of relief to their aching loins.

They spent the next ten seconds in pure silence save for their strained breaths, letting their intimate environment dictate their pace of lust.

The magical candles cast flickering light off each other’s eyes as the two stared at one another with a sexual hunger so profound they could practically taste each other in the air: powerful, commanding golden eyes meeting their wide, light-green counters in silent communication.

And as they strained in vain to come together through their clothing, the two lidded said eyes simultaneously.

Their mouths were open, panting and groaning at each little movement that hit them in that special place… only to sensually fuse their lips together yet again.

They sighed loudly into each other’s mouths as they let themselves enjoy in a true intimate kiss not orchestrated solely by carnal desire. They relished in their combined touch, the pure electricity shooting through every nerve at the thought of how naughty they were being.

Perhaps Stella’s heat clouded her mind, but she could not recall a deeper longing, an almost biological need for the one in her grasp.

Her victories with both sexes were fair and many, yet how he made her heart flutter and her crescent throb continued to surprise her.

Fredrick was in the exact same straits…

…except without the whole ‘having a vagina’ thing.

Luckily, Fredrick had the most mental clarity at the moment.

“Mmm… How about we lose these clothes then?” he suggested with a lascivious smile.

He nipped at the underside of her jaw, and Stella responded with another groan… though at the mention of his final words, her eyes lit up and she beamed a massive smile.

Her wings sprung out again like wound toys.

“Now we’re talkin’, mate!”

Without warning, she returned him to his back with a mighty shove and gripped his shirt by the plackets. It was a simple manner of yanking the two halves apart and sending every single button shooting off into a different direction, each with a hollow ‘pop’ much to Fred’s immediate horror.

Adding insult to injury, each landed on the polished stone floor with plastic-sounding bounces and rolls, never to be found again.

Fredrick was less than enthused at his marefriend’s lack of discretion.

“What the fuck, bro… that was one of my best shirts!”

Stella’s reply was husky and indifferent while she planted her hands on his bare chest.

“I’ll buy you two more shirts.”

Running his own hands up her arms and squeezing her firm biceps, Fredrick curtly riposted under his breath.

“You fuckin’ better…”

“I’ll fuckin’ buy you two more shirts an’ destroy ‘em in front of you if ya don’t stop bein’ such a whiny bellend an’ start playing with me boobs right fuckin’ now, aye?”

It was Fredrick’s turn to smile brightly, and he only shrugged.

“As you command! Lose the bra.”

“Yer goddamn right, cunt!” Stella exclaimed, pumping both her fists in the air.

She pulled back said hands and reached behind her. With a single, fluid motion and no teasing nor leadup, she unclasped her bra and tossed it aside with a cocky, victorious smile.

Fredrick’s eyes widened as Stella’s breast bounced free of their brassiere constraints, and yet still held their distinctive perkiness. They were nigh-perfect teardrops with hardened, smaller nipples a shade darker than her coat adorning their peaks. Even without the aforementioned bra, there was still a fair semblance of cleavage to behold.

Fredrick had to lay back completely to take in their sight, like when he visited the grand canyon for the first time; the garment really did not add much size to them… she really was at the perfect size of ‘handful,’ as it were.

Stella knew from the day she met him that he was a ‘tit man.’ While she had the greatest pride in her ass that she loved to grind against him, she could not fault him for appreciating her chest.

Besides, she quite enjoyed getting her girls lavished with some attention here and there, something she was in the mood for now.

Lidding her eyes and snagging her lower lip with her fang, she cupped both her arms under her orbs and squeezed them together between her biceps.

The inviting canyon of cleavage she created with pert, suck-able nipples standing at attention all dared Fredrick to throw all his resolve at her and conquer her.

Stella lightly shimmied her torso for extra effect, and judging by Fredrick’s heavy breathing and trained eyes, she had him right where she wanted him. She gyrated the cleft of her ass right onto his throbbing, still-covered dick, then pressed her palms into the sides of her tits and hefted them upward.

She gazed upon him with such faux-innocence, it would defeat a lesser man.

“Well? Do I need to hold yer hand, love?”

Fred wasted little time, and he slid his hands up to her shoulders then down her chest to cup her breasts in full.

He was not hesitant to touch them either, as hesitance in a situation like this would likely irritate the mare trapping him to the bed. So, his fingers sunk into her firm, fleshy chest and he felt just how they morphed around his touch.

He was handed his fantasy on a silver platter, so there was no sense in not enjoying it.

Stella’s gentle sigh and leaning over him more were the cues to continue his actions.

However, her new orientation put Fredrick’s face (and by extension, his mouth) in perfect position to broaden his assault on her chest. As such, he felt this was a deliberate move on her part, and he formulated his approach while continuing to caress the current objects of his affections.

It was true, Stella did enjoy when foreplay and sex got on the rougher side, but she was not opposed to targeted, gentle ministrations such as this. Even she had to admit that, while it was cute that Fredrick was enjoying himself by using her, it still felt good.

Each time he squeezed her two tits together, he would press his thumbs into her puffed-up, perky nipples… and she already found a favorite technique as a result.

In the end, she still wondered why she would get surprised when Fredrick could—once in a while—read her mind.

“Mmm… yeah, do that again,” Stella encouraged, biting her lip and arching her back.

Finally finding something that made her tick, Fredrick glanced back with an equally lust-driven expression. Coyly, he asked:

“What? Oh, this?”

And he once again created a beautiful, mouthwatering expanse of cleavage as he pressed her two orbs together. Like his thumbs would a video-game controller, he expertly worked her nipples and pressed them into her breasts themselves.

That feeling was just perfect for Stella. While it would by no means get her off, that tickling, tingling sensation that shot through her chest and core each time he massaged, squeezed, pressed, or pinched, just touched on the fringes of her precipice.

It only enticed her further, and further exacerbated that burning heat between her legs.

Her thong was already ruined by how much she had been leaking already, if that was any indication.

“Ahhh~, yes, just like that… that feels nice.”

Her gentle, if stunted groaning was the greatest musical encouragement Fred could hope to hear thus far. So, he decided to advance things further.

He lifted his head up just enough to take her right nipple into his mouth.

The gentle suction of his suckling was just enough to drown out Stella’s hitch in her breath. His forward little foray drew more, pleasant words of encouragement from the mare’s mouth:

“Mmmm… Freddy baby’s hungry,” she cooed with a teasing giggle.

She knew just how to get to him.

Fredrick stopped sucking immediately, and opened his mouth to reply tersely with an almost disgusted look… though his mask wavered when he struggled to hold back a tide of laughter.

“Shut the fuck up I swear to god…”

Stella threw her head back in guffaw, her chest heaving as she lost her shit entirely. Fredrick was not opposed to this in the slightest, and he joined in.

He then tugged at her nipple tenderly with his teeth, circling it with his tongue while Stella composed herself, though his little ministration quickly sobered her up.

“Mmph! Oh don’t be like that,” she said, pulling his face into her cleavage.

She used her arms to help squeeze her breasts around his face, and Fredrick helped the whole act along by continuing to massage those perfect sweater puppies.

The extra pressure on his face from her two tits keeping him nice and warm… how could anyone want to leave such a prison?

Well, he certainly hoped he had life without parole.

Fredrick tugged a bit more harshly at her right nipple this time, squeezing her tit and giving him much more surface area to run his tongue around. His desire to be much more aggressive with her stemmed from when he took another whiff of that alluring scent she gave off.

He personally didn’t think he could get any harder at the moment, and if he could, his pants would be destroyed.

Stella was more than okay with that; her breath caught in her throat once again and she bit down on her lip by reflex. She also allowed her head to fall back and eyes to flutter closed, all while Fredrick reoriented themselves so he could comfortably work her over.

“Yeah… Mmm, there we go, Freddy,” she cooed.

Part of her was keen to continue to let him play with her tits to his heart’s content… it had been a fair amount of time since somepony lavished her with a breast massage, after all. But in the end, she would only let him do so for the next few moments.

While she would love to continue relishing in her girls receiving more attention than they had in a good while, the thestral had other plans for this one.

As for Fredrick, he had little inclination of when Stella would eventually advance them to the next stage of their night. Thus, he was poised on enjoying himself a little longer.

Wrapping his arms around Stella’s back and thumbing the joints of her wings (which came as a mite, pleasant shock to said mare), he pulled her down and smothered himself into her cleavage.

He pressed his nose to her sternum, just as he always wished to do, and took in her smell. It was clear that she had not showered today, but Stella was a clean mare, and most of her stench… no, her musk was generated from her heat.

While pungent, it was by no means unpleasant; quite the contrary.

Fred’s pupils dilated as he ran his tongue through her cleavage in a desperate attempt to just get his mouth on her and taste the mare of his dreams.

Stella, however, had other ideas once she felt him lick her.

She giggled mischievously, tracing her fingers through Fred’s hair before murmuring cheekily:

“Well if ya wanted tae lick somethin’, I can easily put yer mouth to good use, love.”

Fred pried himself from her bosom and met her gaze with an impish one of his own. He wasn’t going to be bested just yet.

“Yeah? And just what did you have in mind?” he said, playing dumb.

His right hand dutifully remained attached to Stella’s left breast, continuing to squeeze and caress it as if it was a delicate stress-ball. Their eyes, just as when they had full view of each other’s faces, never left one another.

Stella rocked her hips needily against his for extra emphasis, then leaned in close to his ear. Her steamy breath broke upon the side of Fred’s face in gentle waves.

She flicked his earlobe with the tip of her tongue, sending a pleasurable shudder up his spine before whispering:

“How ‘bout I get on me back, you get that cute face o’ yours between m’legs, and ya lick mah dripping cunt ‘til I’m screamin’ fer ye tae stop, aye?”

She finished her little suggestion by pulling back and bestowing upon him her usual, garden-variety, challenging ‘Stella Stare.’ That innate cockiness that she espoused no matter where she went was probably one of the larger turn-ons for Fredrick.

And his earlier hypothesis was wrong. He could get harder.

Mohs would be pleased.

Fredrick raised his right eyebrow up at her.

“Then why don’tcha get off me, huh?” he countered.

His fingers firmly drew meandering lines on her thighs of steel, running his palms over the leg musculature of a goddess. Stella knew exactly what he was doing, and she let a little extra blush mar her face at Fredrick’s admiration.

She flashed both rows of teeth widely.

“Awrite! Switch!” she proclaimed, pumping her fist in the air.

Extorting a yelp out of Fredrick, she grasped his shoulders and inverted their positions with such abruptness and equal grace, that the human experienced mild vertigo.

When he blinked out the remnant dizziness that had onset from ye-olde switcheroo, Fredrick had discovered himself exactly where Stella had prophesied the two of them earlier: Right between her legs.

There was only one problem that was reintroduced to the forefront: their respective bottom garments were useless and plenty in the way.

Before Fredrick could even take the initiative, Stella lifted her hips and shimmied out of her thong, slipping it off and tossing it aside.

It fell against the floor with a wet slap.

With that same defining smile, she appropriated a pillow for her head and proudly spread her legs wide for the human’s viewing pleasure.

And there it was… his prize.

Staring back at Fredrick was Stella’s perfect crescent, a shade darker than the rest of her coat by just how wet she was. The human’s jaw slackened in carnal hunger, and his mouth salivated as he burned this image into his brain with a blowtorch.

Her entire slit twinkled in the dancing candlelight, afforded by the extra bit of sheen that covered her lower lips. They opened just barely, revealing the fleshy, vulnerable pink inside while her clit remained hidden… just waiting to be sought out.

As much as Fredrick wanted to rip his pants off currently, that same smell—more powerful than ever before—graced his nose.

Biting and licking his lower lip, he could not deny his hunger any longer.

Stella only urged him on, placing her right arm behind her head and snaking her left hand down her toned tummy. She rested her fingers between her legs and prodded at her own netherlips, then spread them apart with her index and middle fingers.

Her needy tunnel was now on full display for him. That, plus her lean, muscular build combined with those magnificent boobies of hers having fallen to rest all perky on her chest, made for a sight he would carry with him until the day he died.

“Well mate?” Stella asked cutely, biting her lip in kind.

“All yours!”

Fredrick wasted no time in laying on his front, hooking his arms around Stella’s thighs, and planting his lips straight onto her begging pussy.

Further, he drew a tantalizingly slow, firm lick up her slit for the first true taste of her.

Stella’s eyes widened comically at the unexpected, enormous influx of electric pleasure shooting directly into her lower torso.

Her hand went instinctively to the back of Fred’s head.

Oh, this was exactly what she needed… a coltfriend who could not impregnate her and could quell those crippling desires during her equally crippling heat cycles?

How many advantages could one mare have?!

“Hooooly shit mmmmmph where’d that come from?!” she cried.

One lick was all it took for Fred to stop just below her clit. He separated his lips from hers—the lower half of his face already covered in a sheen of Stella’s essence—and tilted his head to the left.

He then clicked his tongue. Her taste was as familiar as it was distinctive.

P-Pineapple??? Oh hell fucking yes!

His pause, however, gave rise to some concern in the batpony currently being serviced.

She lifted he head up and gazed down at the pensive human questioningly.

“Fred? What’s going o—OOOH! OKAY THEN!”

She was swept off her guard when Fredrick dove back in without a shred of warning. He lapped at her labia, licking up all he could of her juices that leaked onto his palate.

Ravenously, Fredrick pressed his thumbs into her inner thighs (earning a less-than-dignified yelp out of the mare) and parted her lips with his tongue.

If he was gonna drink up all she had to offer him in her arousal, he was determined to get it from the well’s source.

What could he say? He fucking loved pineapple.

And if this was how she tasted on a normal basis (likely attributed to a large fruit diet) then she better prepare herself.

Stella’s hand clenched tightly around the bedsheets, and her other hand dutifully maintained a fistful of Fred’s hair. Getting nearly assaulted with pleasure through her hypersensitive nethers was not expected at this magnitude, and she made this clearly known.

“Luna’s Moon fuck YES! Right there… Mmm right fucking there lick me right there you hot fucker, you…”

The verbal encouragement certainly helped to boost Fredrick’s morale. With a fire having been lit in his core, he parted Stella’s lips with his thumbs and pressed the flat of his tongue directly against her throbbing hole.

Her moans were angelic to his ears, and he longed for nothing else than to keep hearing them. Even so, there was still something on his mind that sent him into a giggling fit.

Fredrick lifted his head from between her legs, struggling to keep his composure.

“Is it weird that with, you know… your ‘accent,’ I thought you'd sound a bit more…”

Stella, to her credit, only rolled her eyes.

“Are you fuckin’ retarded? What'd ye expect!?” she questioned.

“Oh, but if that's yer fetish, sure!” she continued, then began faking her pleasure with a horrifically exaggerated twang as Fred looked on:

“Oh aye! Roight there, mate! Tongue me fukkin’ cockholster! Mmm yes lick me beefcurtains ya dirty bastard ye! Ooooh if yer a good little lad I'll let ye spunk in me shitter, bruv!”

Her mockery of herself ceased.

“That good enough fer ya? Fuck.”

Fred pressed his forehead into Stella’s stomach, doubled over in wheezing laughter.

This was the shit he lived for with the entire time they had known each other. It warmed his heart that even while he was eating her out for the first time, their dynamic had not changed much.

But even after he managed to get a grip on himself, he had to admit that Stella had hammered her point home quite well.

“Fair enough… though it was only a thought, good lord.”

Stella lidded her eyes, almost condescendingly, then smiled ever so sweetly whilst cupping Fredrick’s cheek in her palm.

“How ‘bout you quit runnin’ yer gob an’ put it back to work, ya tool?”

Fredrick saluted her proudly.

“Yes ma’am!” he said.

And with that, his tongue was tracing a single line up and down her slit. He barely prodded his tongue inward, but because of her protests and whining, Fred latched onto her clit once he exposed it. He knew he was doing something right when her hand’s grip on his hair tightened considerably.

And as he began sucking on it and continuing to toy her little button, Stella’s forthcoming words were quite the corroboration.

“AHH YES! Right there, love…” she pleaded, rocking her hips in tandem with whatever direction Fred’s tongue took.

Her eyes were clenched tight and that snaggle-fang of hers held a vice on her lower lip as her chest heaved. As much as she loved giving Fredrick shit for a perceived ‘lack of experience,’ she knew that he knew what to do; at the very least, she never had to redirect him.

Then again, that tongue of his was the water to her heat, the oil to her burn, the antivenin to her bite—the cure.

Feeling that firm muscle of his dirtily slobber all over her sopping pussy (with some decent precision) would heal her affliction.

“Lick me… LICK ME! MMPH! Fredrick don’t you—AHN!—fuckin’ stop just do that… do that do that do that…”

“Mhmm!” Fredrick moaned in response, sending little vibrations directly into her clit, which, unbeknownst to him, nearly pushed Stella over the edge for the first time.

Not that he cared much anyway… and he never thought he’d say that.

While, of course, he did care that Stella was feeling amazing (and that he was the cause of that), he was more concerned with just having his fill of her essence. She tasted that good, almost like that viscous juice that came with pineapple fruit cups—actually, when he thought about it, that made him even hungrier.

“Right there, Fred… please just right fucking there right fucking there! Mmmah! Don’t you dare stop!”

Oh he had no intention of it. Fredrick inserted his middle finger, slipping it completely into her depths and pulling her slit downward so he had better range of motion to lick.

“FUCK!” she cried out the moment the flat of Fred’s tongue pressed firmly inward.

Fredrick thought the vice on the back of his head could not get any tighter, but he was wrong… so very wrong. Stella’s lower body went into a gentle spasm and her powerful legs tightened around his head.

Through Stella’s deep, yet in no way ear shattering moans, she could not hear the poor man attempting to tap out from her suffocating death grip. He could’ve sworn the sides of his head creaked, like a watermelon on the verge of bursting from pressure.

The palm of his right hand slammed against the comforter with the force of a man getting choked by pussy, though Fredrick figured that this would not have been the worst way to die, given the circumstances.

Stella’s hands and legs finally released him (though not by Fred’s volition), and she lay back to catch her breath from that sudden orgasm. Her hands instead found their oldest friends: her breasts, as she cupped and played with them, further facilitating what little remained of her first orgasmic high of the evening.

As much as she sunk her fingers into her orbs and massaged her tits and nipples, it paled in comparison to having someone else actually touch them.

Fredrick gazed up from between her legs, thankful to not have been killed by a spasming Stella. He chuckled and uneasily voiced:

“Jesus you came already? Thought you’d be near impossible to get off without like, slapping your ass or something.”

The thestral chuckled in kind, ready with her own words to counter those.

“Ahhh, mate I’m in heat. I’m super sensitive right now, so don’t get flattered too much,” she teased.

Still, she just came gorgeously, so she had little right to complain.

Stella hummed approvingly once her breathing was under control, but she wasn’t finished yet—this was her heat, after all.

Thinking about it, she’d probably be rearing to go in about a minute or—

“AAAHHNNMMM! FREDRICK!” Stella cried out when Fredrick dove back in unexpectedly for the second time.

Her fingers dug into her tits, pinching her nipples between her digits while Fredrick had wormed his tongue deep within her. He slurped audibly, collecting each and every little bit of that unbelievably-sweet nectar of hers.

His fingers, in contrast, pressed deeply into her inner thighs to foment that extra strong tickle in the lower half of her body—effectively attacking her from two places in the same area.

Stella twitched, writhed, and moaned under his (now admittedly, somewhat) skilled touch.

“FUUUCK ME MATE! Ahhh~! There, there! Oooh I fuckin’ shoulda jumped you ages ago—ahhn!”

Fredrick meant what he said months ago: everything that came out of Stella’s mouth was worth twice its weight in gold. It was no different as he was quite literally sucking her slit.

While he tried to fit as much of her most vulnerable crescent in his mouth as possible, he giggled inwardly at some of the funny shit she said or alluded to in her cries of pleasure.

“Freddy fuck! MNNGH! I’m gettin’ close again I swear tae fuckin’ shit if ya stop I’ll fuckin’ flagellate you with my tail—MMM!”

Yeah, something like that.

But Stella’s warning was one to be heeded, and it meant that Fredrick had even less time to consume her sugary juices than he’d have hoped. Nevertheless, he intended to make do.

He shifted focus back to her clit and utilized his previous technique by inserting his middle finger into her hungry, pulsating pussy. Going just a little bit further than that, he added his ring finger to stretch her out a bit more and allow him better access to her depths.

Even so, Fredrick was still having fun at Stella’s expense. All he knew was that when he would get out of his pants, he’d be giving it to this mare hard.

So, he pressed his technique, tongueing her clit as best he could while he began spearing his fingers into her depths. His digits would drive and drill deep into her up to his knuckle, all while curling them upwards for added effect.

Said effect worked magical wonders for Stella. Her head was swimming in random, assorted colors and curse words courtesy of the beautiful treatment her nethers were receiving. She never had much of a word filter to begin with, but any semblance of one had long been cast aside; her mouth blurted out whatever came to her muddled mind during her moaning.

One thing was for sure: she thoroughly enjoyed a good fingering. It was simple and it did the job well; she was a mare of practicality.

Stella stifled what would’ve been an inappropriately loud moan as she came a second time. This time, however, instead of holding Fred in a death grip between her legs and hands, she pried him off completely.

In his new position, Fredrick had not taken stock in his air supply—he and Stella shared in mutual heaving, though for entirely different reasons.

Stella’s eyes fluttered open and instantly honed on Fredrick; to say she was glowing was an understatement. She affixed those partially-fatigued, hungry orbs on her coltfriend and breathed a temporarily relieved sigh.

She still massaged her chest idly, if only for the human’s pleasure.

“Mate…” she began, her smile spreading wide like a gorgeous, impending sunrise.

“If there’s more where that came from, you may just make me rethink my view on marriage, lemme tell ya,” she teased, giggling all girly-like.

Fredrick laughed heartily at that, as the two of them were in sync with their views on ‘tying the knot.’ They felt it was unnecessary… and at best, only good for tax purposes.

Nopony judged.

“Hey, I told you several times… I know somewhat of what I’m doing,” Fred replied.

Stella let her head fall back completely against the pillow. A remnant twitch crawled up her spine.

Despite Stella’s placated state, Fredrick left himself open for a scathing blow.

“Oooh… who’s the lucky guy?”

And as Fred's jaw slacked and his hand went to his chest in faux-insult, his banter could still stand up to Stella in the right situations.

“Oh you're just so fucking funny, huh? Guess you don't need me here to entertain you…” he said.

Stella jabbed back playfully.

“Well it's not my fault you act like the national gayweight champion sometimes!”

He moved to stand up from between her legs, but Stella sat upright at an instant to intercept him, wrapping both her arms and legs around him. Her face shone of legitimate fear.

“No, don't! Okay okay I'm sorry!”

Fredrick glanced down at the suddenly clingy mare, smugness etching itself permanently on his face.

“Thought so! Now I better be able to get in on this because I think my boner tore a hole through the space time continuum,” he noted.

Stella pulled her cheek away from his chest and shot her gaze upward. Her expression devolved into a much more lecherous one, and she flashed her fangs once again.

“That's what I like tae hear! Cuz Stella ain't fuckin’ satisfied! Stella demands more!”

She harshly nudged Fredrick away, nearly putting him on his ass, as she made a quick tweak to her orientation: she merely flipped onto her stomach and lay her front on the bed. The edge of said bed acting as a pivot, she planted her hooves to the ground and spread her legs wide.

Lastly, she swished her tail from side to side, affording Fredrick the smallest glimpses of her rearing-to-go crescent through an artificial veil.

“How ‘bout ya drop those trousers an’ bury that throbbing cock inside me?”

As steel as the sight made him, Fredrick was struck by the sheer simplicity of her request.

“Really?” he questioned, almost suspiciously. “That’s it? You don’t want to pin me to the bed and destroy my pelvis? Or… bite the shit outta me? Or…”

Stella huffed out and stared back at Fredrick, more than annoyed at the moment at the snark while she was in a less-than dignified position all by herself.

Her response was as quintessential as it brooked no argument:

“Fredrick if you don’t get the fuck over here right now and start fuckin’ me lips raw I swear to the fuckin’ North I’ll half-inch yer fuckin’ tackle an’ dig me own fuckin’ well, ya cunt!”

“Works for me!” Fredrick announced, and with little grace, he stumbled out of his pants and boxers, setting his throbbing rod free to the elements.

In his own perspective, he was not so self-conscious about his member, though that probably was because he was with his best friend and horny as shit at the moment.

Adrenaline coursed through his body at the anticipation of doing something that he had only imagined in his dreams…

…and in the shower every other night.

And as Fredrick shimmied his now-nude body behind and in between Stella’s legs, the latter watched with bated breath and bitten lip. She committed the general image of her coltfriend’s penis to memory; she’d have more of an opportunity to explore it later, but right now, she just had to get fucked.

Still, that didn’t prevent an impish smirk from involuntarily making itself known.

“Heh, it looks like me helmet, only pink! How cute, love!”

Fredrick, breathily, scolded her at once.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up?”

He pressed his leaking head against Stella’s swollen, begging netherlips. Her labia folded inward somewhat under his tentative intrusion, and this let out a little reserve of her juices to begin coating him in return.

The mare shuddered and held her breath at the sudden feeling, stifling her snarky giggle.

She still had enough sense about her to purr at Fredrick’s words.

“Rrrrrrrrr… I love it when you talk fuckin’ dirty to me, baby,” she playfully cooed, wiggling her butt and facilitating his entrance into her about an inch.

She fluttered her eyelashes, refusing to let up her jesting words now that she had him.

“Gimme twelve inches, Freddy, and make it huuuuuuuuuurt~,” she cooed.

Their breathing near-synchronous, Fredrick grabbed himself two handfuls of Stella’s hips. He then cocked his eyebrow at her, meeting her gaze.

“Sure! How ‘bout I fuck you twice and deck you in the mouth?”

Stella nearly lost it at that, but she had a better reaction: she purred yet again. Instead, both of them lost it, bursting into joint, gut-busting laughter.

Fredrick lay himself atop of her for a few moments as the two fought to recover their sexy bearings—it was a testament to how attractive they found one another that their little exchange did not kill the mood at such a pivotal point.

But, upon their calming, Fredrick finished what he had set out to do at Stella’s request: he hilted himself completely within her tight, molten depths.

While Fredrick was much more reserved when they finally connected together on the most intimate level, Stella took no such reservations. She groaned through her bitten lip; a high pitched whine that conveyed to the human just how desperate she was for relief for yet a third time.

Fredrick did renege on one part of Stella’s command, and instead of immediately going to town on her, they locked their gazes for, in reality only a couple of seconds.

To the two lovers, however, such an exchange of silent feelings lasted hours. Lidded eyes met lidded eyes once again, and their slackened, breathing mouths spoke volumes in silence.

Stella bit her lip and cleared her throat.

“Y-You gonna get to work or do I gotta do everythin’?”

Wordlessly, Fredrick retracted his entire length and pressed forward with a fair portion of his weight behind the thrust. Stella’s body lurched forward with an accompanying, cute yelp as he bottomed out in her yet again.

He pulled out to the tip, and thrust forward again, with the same result.

And again… and again, and again…

“Mmm… Fredrick, juuuust like—Ah!—that…”

Her leaky, velvety pussy formed a tight, snug seal around his rigid and equally throbbing member.

As he developed a steady rhythm of fucking, she felt like she was sucking him back in, refusing to let him exit completely. As his pace increased and he slammed into her with greater and greater force, he placed his hands on her hips and squeezed for better leverage.

He could feel the rock-hard oblique muscles tightening as she fought to take his entire dick in her on each thrust.

Wasn't much of a fight but it had been awhile since her last intimate moment with some pony.

A steady stream of groans, moans, and words of encouragement fell from her lips as she stared intently back at him. She sported a hungry, open-mouthed smile and did her best to keep her wings in check.

“Yeah... mmmph! Fuck me Fredrick, like you—OOH!—always wanted to, love… come on!

“Pound that fuckin’ cock into me!”

Fredrick adjusted his hold on her, never ceasing spearing his aching cock into her hole with an angelic, soft, wet squelch.

He then slapped both of his hands onto her tight, flexed ass, digging his fingers into them and earning another, powerful groan out of Stella.

“Yeah? Like—mmm—this? You’ve wanted this too, don’t lie—ahhh…”

She bit her lip again.

“I've wanted it—ach!—since week one! Luna—Yeah! Right there!—I’ve wanted your dick so fuckin’ bad!”

“All yours, Stel’!”

Stella pressed her tongue into her cheek, rocking her hips back against Fred’s thrusts for the added feeling of being pumped extra full.

“Mm!... Mm!… Mm! Just what I want tae hear! Fuck me! Hard!”

Fred was by no means a moaner… and he made sure that was the case after watching a few porn videos and the guy just wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Nevertheless, Stella’s slit was on par with a metaphysical natural wonder of the world. He could feel the beat of her heart upon every downstroke into her.

Combined with her incessant need to tell him exactly how she was feeling and to keep going, this certainly wouldn’t be a half-hour session.

He made sure to also guide his dick down against her upper wall for added effect; courtesy of a little trick that an old friend with benefits taught him.

Fredrick was relieved and pleased all the same to find out that such an anatomy-based technique worked just as well here.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck yes! God fuck just keep hitting me there!” Stella demanded, snaking one of her hands under her chest to toy with her breast.

“Right…” Fred began, realigned himself, and plunged his dick down and into her right at the very spot he aimed for last. “…there? Fuck you’re tight…”

Stella pursed her lips in an effort to stifle her groaning, and then she nodded vehemently.

“There! Just fuck me there ‘til you cum!~”

Fredrick was way ahead of her, and without her direction he had already been plowing her fertile crescent with abandon.

He was more than self-aware about his endurance, as it were: he was not going to last much longer—with Stella’s sensitivity due to her ‘scalding’ heat cycle, she wouldn’t either.

Still, it was not a command Fredrick was used to hearing so readily.

“Mph! You want me to shoot inside you?”

Stella’s head nodded with even more voraciousness than before, though the change was that she smiled brightly in anticipation.

Her expressiveness never failed to change on a dime, even while getting railed.

“YES! Ohhh fuck—just fill me up an’ cool off me fuckin’ womb, yeah!

“Fuck! Pull m’tail!”

Fredrick blinked, and his rhythm suffered a single hiccup, though he quickly got things back on track.

He understood her request, no… demand perfectly, but his hands had already warmed to their holds on her perfectly sculpted ass. No man in their right mind would ever wish to dislodge them from such a treasure.

“Wait… really?” he questioned.

“PULL MY GODDAMN TAIL AN’ HAMMER ME SILLY, YA SHITFUCK!”

By automation, Fredrick took his right hand off her cheek (still thrusting deeply into her) and grabbed her tail by its base.

“OH FUCK YES, PULL, BITCH!”

He yanked back harshly as he bucked his hips forward, using her tail as an alternate hand hold.

Stella reared her head back and let loose a hybrid of a hiss and a moan… though it was sexy nonetheless for Fredrick. Her tongue then lolled out of her mouth as the latter continued his ministrations.

Her words of encouragement were no longer necessary since Fredrick took off running.

Fred’s hand kept a firm hold on her ass and massaged as best as he could while not sacrificing any leverage he needed.

Easier said than done, unfortunately, but he made do nonetheless.

His dick ached like no other, yet he glided easily into Stella’s pussy by virtue of being completely drenched in her nectary essence. Each thrust was accompanied by a most beautiful-sounding wetness, culminated with his hips and her ass making hard, powerful contact.

Stella angled her head back to look at the human ravaging her pussy just right. Eyes lidded and hands digging into the comforter below, she watched and internalized all the little facial expressions Fred made as he had his way with her.

He was enjoying himself… perhaps a bit too much, but Stella was only enthralled that he could use her in such a way that brought him this much pleasure and on the verge of climaxing.

And on that thought, this was about her! She had the heat, not him!

“Come on!” she said, yelping out when Fredrick slammed into her fairly hard. “Cum inside me!”

Fred had really nothing to say to that that would add to the situation at all, and he kept his focus on taking the two of them to their end.

Calling upon all reserves of his energy, he pistoned his swollen cock in and out of her tightening sheath with all he had. The sounds of sex were on par with their groaning, though Stella’s words easily rose above all.

“Use me, Freddy!—UHHN!—Fuck me harder! HARDER!

“Fuckin’ shoot that hot—MMPH! AHH!—load into me!

Oh, she’d get her wish very, very soon. The two locked eyes firmly for the umpteenth time this night, and Stella egged him on with her sultry look alone.

That bitten lip never failed to get him.

“Cum for me, Fredrick! Mmm…! Please I want yer fuckin’ cum! Spunk inside me an’ paint my walls!

“Cum, Freddy!

“CUM!”

And so he did.

Fredrick growled as he injected what remained of his energy into his thrusts, slamming his dick into Stella’s depths as hard and as deep as he could.

With that final motion, he could no longer restrain the inevitable, and biology had its way with his self-control. He erupted inside Stella’s quivering pussy, ejecting his pent up ejaculate with such force that some actually slipped out of her from the get-go.

Still, his motions never ceased as he groaned, and with each consecutively less-powerful thrust, he pumped her tunnel to capacity.

Stella fared little better when she felt the first deposits of his hot cum enter her womb.

She moaned through clenched teeth, nearly shredding Fred’s sheets in her grip as a lone shiver rode waves up her spine… and that shiver morphed into one of the most satisfying, heat-quelling spasms of sexual height that she had experienced in a good, long while.

The onset of her sudden orgasm milked Fredrick further, continuing to drain his balls dry, just as Stella had planned in the first place.

Their mutual climax was, in all honesty, a relatively quiet one… instead focusing on relishing in their connection and relief from pent up desires that had been harbored for so long.

It was already out on the table how much sexual tension had been surrounding their corporeal forms in friendship.

They just had to act on it, and perhaps Stella’s heat was the perfect catalyst.

Even Fredrick had to admit as they fell atop each other, that that was probably the most satisfying sex he had in his life.

Moans faded away into gentle groans, which in turn gave way to heavy breathing. Fred’s face lay on Stella’s back between her wings while the used mare lay in a trance.

Her eyes bore a far-off look and her tongue still refused to be contained in her mouth. The area below where her slit stood its ground was an enormous, sticky patch of dampness; a testament to their fun.

Fredrick was more than in the mood to rest up and cuddle for a while, though suffice to say by Stella’s next, unexpected words, that idea was not in the cards.

“Heh… round two, love?”

His eyes shot open, and he rolled off of his mare to find her eyeing him with a youthful, horny eagerness. Her wings were still spread out wide and throbbing, and she then began advancing upon him ravenously.

“A-Already? Seriously dude?”

“Oh yer fuckin’ mental if ya think I'm done with you...” came Stella’s cryptic response.

She tantalizingly traced figure eights on Fredrick’s damp chest, and her smile absolutely lit up her face.

“And about crushing your pelvis…”

9. Cuntfusion

Author's Note

Moved a few things to next chapter, as it was getting a little crowded. Though I promised 11k, after edits, it only went to just at 10. That's okay, though. A lot more shit to come in the following chapters. We're gonna get more dialogue-heavy and less-imagery laden as a result, to avoid needless clutter in character development.

Do enjoy!

9. Cuntfusion

[One Week Later…]

Little things like this never failed to make him grin… to the point where his cheeks ached something pleasant.

Fredrick gazed down upon his marefriend, the latter lying against him as they snuggled up in their seats. The sight was enough to draw his attention—undivided—from what lay just outside the window pane. Competitive beauty, at that.

The trip northward would take over ten hours, so it necessitated the duo waking up extra early… which did not sit well with Stella at all. The end result was the mare wishing to catch up on some of her lost sleep as of late.

As such, this was their preferred position for the trip thus far.

The train clacked comfortably along the tracks and a somewhat empty car carried the silence diligently. The human was left, more or less, alone with his thoughts and his beautiful, sleeping girl.

Stella’s mane was, of course, in its usual ponytail, and her silken locks veiled her sleepy eyes like gorgeous curtains would a window to the most breathtaking view in the world. She had opted for an emerald colored V-neck t-shirt as well as a light, black jacket—with a Royal Lunar Guard insignia sewed on the upper left of the chest—zipped up to just under her bosom. Said bosom steadily rose and fell in gentle rhythm as Stella slept lightly, yet peacefully in her coltfriend’s embrace.

She was getting used to this treatment.

Equestria’s majesty crawled by as the train sped northward, and turning his attention away, Fredrick observed with silent awe at just what his new home had to offer in terms of scenery. He had always meant to travel at some point, but he never found much in the way of time. Further, Stella tended to occupy most of his extra free time, and that was more than alright by him.

With his right arm wrapped tightly around her, his left hand’s fingers wove delicate lines through Stella’s mane. From her hairline to her ponytail, he would firmly drag his fingers over her scalp, occasionally incorporating the use of his fingernails.

Stella would occasionally emit a gentle hum if he touched her just right, and his ministrations became idle as he found a comfortable pattern. Whatever she needed to help her catch up on lost sleep was okay in his book; no one wanted a cranky Stella by any means if they could avoid it.

But that wasn’t really his motivation at all.

Fredrick would simply do anything for her.

After what seemed like a steady two hours of snuggling and scalp massaging, Fredrick’s gaze was drawn from the gorgeous Equestrian countryside just outside the window. Stella had finally stirred from her nap. Her eyes barely fluttered open as she remained on the fringes of sleep, kept awake by Fredrick’s little ministrations yet placated just enough by those same fingers of his.

She remarked with blissful fatigue:

“Mmmm, that feels amazing, Fred… ya keep doin’ that and I’ll suck yer dick fer eternity.”

“I know,” he replied, chuckling.

He then patted Stella’s arm and lay his head atop hers, casually resting his own eyes for a few moments. Checking the time on his watch, it would be another five and a half hours before they reached the Northern Mountains. With Stella somewhat drifting back to consciousness, Fred figured he’d field his desire to know a bit more about the impending, fateful meeting of her family.

“I don’t think you’ve told me much about your ‘familial unit’…” he mused out loud.

She quietly clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth after she yawned.

“I mentioned them a few times, but nothing major,” Stella replied.

Eyes still closed, she rubbed her cheek against the side of Fred’s chest, a gentle smile returning to her features as Fredrick’s body heat served to keep her comfortably warm; her fluttering heart did the rest of that job.

She uttered through droned, slurred tiredness:

“Pretty standard, really. Got me mum, me dad, and me sis. That’s it.”

Fredrick bobbed his head, considering the rather simple, nuclear family arrangement.

“Older sister?” Fred asked.

Stella shook her head against him.

“Nae. Younger by three years,” she corrected. “Three years, two months tae be exact. But the bitch is taller than me so she can go fuck herself.”

Fredrick ran two fingers through the part in his amber hair and redirected his gaze out the window; he noticed how what was once wind-whipped, rolling, and beautiful green plains had given away to more golden color as the outside temperature undoubtedly dropped. They would have to pass through the Frozen North and tangentially touch the Crystal Empire to make their way to the lusher Northern Mountains. He’d expect to start seeing snow and crystal formations soon.

Fredrick continued the conversation.

“What’s her name?”

Stella shook gently against him as she chuckled.

“Lookin’ to go prepared, love?”

“In a manner of speaking,” he alluded, smirking.

Stella giggled more audibly, and Fredrick knew her ‘teasing’ tone from a mile away. Her volume never changing, she simply declared:

“Pussy.”

And of course Fred wasn’t going to take that lying down.

“Slag.”

“Hairless fuckwit.”

“Loudmouth bitch.”

“Stubby-eared cuntbadger, ye.”

“Snagglefanged cockgoblin.”

Stella choked up, stifling what would have been an imminent burst of laughter in her throat.

She nodded deeply in reverence.

“Not bad, mate… you’re learning well.” She then added sultrily, “And only for you after last week, I’ll be yer ‘cockgoblin’ any day.”

Fredrick nudged her with an impish chuckle.

“I think I’ll have to take you up on that soon,” he alluded.

Stella rolled her eyes once she opened them finally, meeting his gaze above her.

“You fuckin’ better, twatwaffle! I didn’t spend all this energy teasin’ you fer you tae not fuck me whenever you want!”

The mention of that triggered a tiny spasm in his lower-most area, and Fred pressed his palm into his inner thigh to soothe a bruise.

“Fuck man, I’m still sore from that night,” he exclaimed in a whisper, as to not alert other passengers of their ‘activities.’

“Remind me to never go more than five rounds with you… I thought having a temporary nympho as a girlfriend would be a dream come true,” he lamented.

Stella beamed lasciviously up at him, fluttering her lidded eyelashes.

“And what did we learn, hmmm?”

“That your endurance outclasses mine by a shitload, that’s for sure,” Fred answered.

Stella chuckled; that was certainly one of many right answers. With a cryptic tone, she booped Fredrick’s nose with her index finger and said:

“Ahh… you’re learning much!”

She then chomped right next to his cheek, pecked him, and giggled before returning to her original position.

“Nah mate, to answer yer first question… you’ll find out when ya meet ‘er, aye?”

“Well, I guess aye have no choice then,” he prodded with a half-smirk.

Stella stealthily clutched his inner thigh and dug her nails into his work pants, jabbing him with her batpony ‘talons’ as the human so fondly referred to them.

“OW! Hey!”

Stella capitalized on his momentary disarray and angled his chin with her left hand so he faced her. Controlling the position of his face with a thumb and index finger, she then smiled softly and caressed his left cheek with her free hand.

“I know yer a wee bit nervous, but fuckin’ relax, aye? It’s just me family, not a firin’ squad,” she reminded.

Still in her vice-like grip, Fredrick nodded and bobbed his head in understanding as much as he could.

He sighed.

“Yeah yeah, I know… but still, you’re crazy as hell and I can only assume your family is somewhat like you. Plus, I just wanna leave a good impression, you know?”

The thestral shrugged, smiling innocently. Stella nuzzled his cheek and bore a much gentler complexion that only Fredrick and a select few others were privy to. The green-eyed human knew it all too well:

She was being serious.

“Now where would the fun be if they were all clones of me, hmm? And as I said: relax.”

She reclaimed her rightful mantle, leaning against him for warmth with an elongated, soothing sigh.

“Remember, handsome… I’m not tryin’ tae drag yer dick through glass shards—they invited you. You’re not just along for the ride, you’re here…”

Stella gripped his right bicep that much tighter, punctuating with a sweet smile.

“…with me. As a guest in our home for five days. And we’re gonna have a fuck-all awesome time together with me fam. Trust me, they’ll enjoy you, and if for whatever unlikely reason they don’t, then fuck ‘em!” she added nonchalantly.

“So ya don't have tae be a whiny nyaff about it.”

Fredrick couldn’t very well argue with that logic.

“Fair enough. Even so, would you at least tell me of any pitfalls I should be aware of with your family?”

Stella nodded, her usual smile plastered on her muzzle.

“Aye, that I can do. Pretty easy: I’m not sure what farm you were raised on, but make sure ye shake me dad’s hand when you meet him.”

As if Fred wasn’t going to do that.

He gestured appropriately with his hand to convey the obvious.

“Well, no shit. I have manners, after all.”

“Then you an’ him’ll get along just fine!” Stella replied. Then with a stern warning, she added:

“For me mum, don’t call her ‘Mrs. Sabre.’ Just… don’t, you’ll be sorry. Just call her whatever she asks of you, which will either be her first name or the shortened version of it.”

Fredrick nodded, glancing out the window briefly. In the absence of his attention, he saw that the endless fields began to wane and become replaced with pattern-less patches of snow. These came in increasing frequency as their train approached the Frozen North.

“Noted. And anything I should know about with your sister?”

Stella pursed her lips, drumming her fingers on Fredrick’s bicep.

“Hmm… well, nothing that could be weird for you, really. She’s mostly like me personality-wise, to be honest.”

“Huh.” Fredrick pondered. “If I’m being honest, I expected her to be like, the complete opposite of you or something. So, shy as fuck and a shut in.”

Stella pinched his cheek with a condescending expression.

“Life’s not like a movie or those animoos you watched back on Earth.”

Fredrick blinked, then glanced back down at her for clarification.

“You mean ‘animes,’ right?”

“Oh whatever!” Stella exclaimed.

Fredrick exhaled blissfully, laying his head back against the rest and resuming dragging his fingers across Stella’s scalp.

That topic of conversation ended on a good note, as Fredrick had some nice information to take away from Stella’s vague advice. Trusting her reassurances, he was confident that things would go as planned and that her family would like him as an individual. He had met parents before with previous girlfriends he was serious with, and it was always somewhat nerve-wracking since family always had the power to make or break a relationship.

Such musings were pleasantly interrupted, however, when Fredrick’s wandering eyes ran over Stella’s chest. Her usual v-neck shirt combined with her position produced some modest cleavage for his eyes only… but even more interestingly, that was cast aside when he discovered Stella’s boarding pass in her grasp, on her lap.

It wasn’t that this was an odd thing, but specifically, he saw the name emblazoned in bold letters right on the front:

Stellaluna F. Sabre.

Stellaluna.

Oh. My. God.

His pupils widened and a nefarious smile spawned on his face at the opportunity to harass his marefriend on another front.

He pinched her right oblique.

“You holdin’ out on me? You never told me your full name was fucking ‘Stellaluna!’” he giggled out, nudging into her.

Stella recoiled but immediately looked down to her boarding pass and saw exactly what he was talking about. Her entire face appeared to fold on itself with lack of amusement.

“Ahhh fuck…” she sighed and collected herself. Then she nodded.

“Aye, that’s me full name. It’s only me birth name for use on legal documents. I, friends, and my family never use it.”

Fredrick’s deep, silent giggling continued in earnest, but that left only one question on his mind. He mused to himself for a few moments, but figured the easiest way to know was to ask.

“So what’s the ‘F’ stand for? Fuck?”

Stella chortled once, sounding like she choked on her own spit. She pressed her cheek into his once.

“Heh, very good. But no. It’s ‘Falchion.’”

Fredrick’s features became much more pensive in nature, and he pondered that name… it rolled off the tongue but it also made sense, considering her last name. But even, so, there was still one part of this whole exchange that made the whole experience worthwhile.

He struggled to contain his glee.

“Stella-fucking-luna… that’s amazing!” he wheezed.

Stella jabbed her elbow harshly into his right side, extorting a less-than-dignified groan out of the human.

“Oww!”

She stuck her index finger in his grimacing face.

“Alright, I never was one fer house rules, but in light of events, this is me only rule!” she cautioned with utmost seriousness as with before.

“Never… ever refer to me by that name. I fuckin’ hate it. Stella is as Stella will be.”

“That last part didn’t make any sense.”

Stella promptly replied with little change in her tone.

“No sex fer the next two weeks, shitwomble,” she declared.

Fredrick was unfazed, and in fact, nearly busted out laughing at the irony of her statement.

“Stell’, you’d probably suffer the most of the both of us,” he countered, flashing her a knowing gaze.

Stella turned away, pouting. What was even more heart attack-inducing was that her snaggle fang always revealed itself when she made that face.

“Fuck, you’re right. Forget I said that. Point being: don’t call me that.”

Fredrick leaned his head in and pressed his lips to the top of Stella’s head as he would a newborn, and the latter let her eyes flutter closed. The mare may have had her own, sometimes unorthodox ways of bestowing affection on somepony she cared for, but she hadn’t a shred of qualm about the ways Fredrick did.

Further, her right hand and his left interlocked with one another.

“You got it Stel’…” Fred replied genuinely.

Then, barely a few seconds passed before that impish complexion of his regained a foothold on his visage.

“…laluna.”

Stella’s eyes shot open and burned like an inferno.

“Alright, listen ‘ere fucko, ya round-eared piece o’ shit…”

[Five and a half Hours Later…]

Fredrick was colored quite impressed when the train billowed through the Equestrian Plains. Hell, he was even more impressed when they made their way through the Frozen North, and Stella pointed out the Crystal Empire in the distance. It’s natural shimmering along with being framed almost like a portrait with the native crystal formations made him want to travel immediately; certainly worth more than a third and fourth look.

The Northern Mountains, however, were something else, in his opinion.

Lushness was his favorite thing in the world, which is why areas of the northern United States were always his favorite; he could overlook the cold. Yet he knew he was ‘home’ when their train parted the silken blanket of mist that had fallen over the land, and revealed the four jagged mountains that made up a section of the ‘Northern Range.’

They were absolutely caked in forest and viridian green; virtually no shred of stone nor dirt could be seen.

The mountains themselves were not that tall relatively speaking… but with the perpetually low, porcelain white and meandering clouds, the peaks pierced the artificially low firmament. In fact, the entire surrounding area was also caked in dense forest with nary but a small two-way path for the train to traverse. Perhaps it was an optical illusion of sorts, but with the misty air and the movement of the train, it appeared that there was literally a sea of green, ebbing and flowing as the powers that be pleased.

Or perhaps, this place just had a fuckton of trees. That could be an accurate and succinct summary for him. The best part was that the mountains gradually took up more of the view as they drew closer.

Stella looked on like a parent watching their children play as Fredrick’s eyes roamed over the landscape. She then ran her fingers over his exposed forearm, triggering a pleasurable tingle up his arm.

“See something you like, love?”

“This place is gorgeous why would you ever wanna leave?!”

The batpony chuckled, then scoffed.

“Fuck me, mate, I haven’t even seen you look at me like that,” she jabbed with a lopsided smirk.

Fredrick turned to her with the cannons of his counter-cheek ready to fire.

“Babe, have you seen those curves?” he asked, gesturing pointedly to the mountains themselves.

“Fair point,” she conceded.

Stella then leaned forward toward him and grasped two meaty handfuls of her covered chest with a wide, sultry grin.

“I’m sure you prefer these, though…”

It was Fredrick’s turn to concede fully, though not without a riposte most like him.

“B-But… lushness,” he added, pointing out the window.

Stella leaned in close and raised a lone eyebrow impishly.

“We can play with them later if you like, love,” she suggested, lacing her allusion with a drag of her tongue across her fang.

Fredrick had little say in the eager smile he returned.

“Yup I prefer yours! So down!”

The man drew his attention back out the window towards the quickly-approaching mountains. In scanning the scenery he’d be hard-pressed to get tired of, he noticed something… peculiar to say the least.

“Hmm…” he hummed, then clicked his tongue.

“What is it?” Stella asked.

Fredrick squinted his eyes as he attempted to be searching for something specific… something he expected to see as their approach vector took them ever closer to the mountains.

“I’m noticing a distinct lack of dwellings and towns n’ shit.”

“The fuck’d you expect, Fred?” Stella asked, curious at his reasoning. “The city’s inside the mountain, mate!”

Fredrick stared at her, unblinking.

“Wait… really?”

Stella’s incredulity could smite entire armies.

“We’re bats, you oaf!”

The realization hit him as hard as the train they were currently traveling on.

“Oh right… duh!”

Stella sprung back to her usual, bright self.

“Right! So, pepper yer angus, love… ‘cause it's about to get better!”

And like many times in his short life in Equestria, Stella was right. Their train continued on its course and passed harmlessly through a tunnel at the base of the mountain, which shrouded the entire car in complete darkness. That is, save for the fixed light on the tunnel roof whose beams would pass through and briefly illuminate the duo’s surroundings.

Fredrick’s gaze meandered eagerly in an attempt to focus on something… anything that could draw his attention and feed his desire to explore. The whole experience thus far reminded him of some roller coasters at amusement parks that would take him underground or through artificial mountainous structures. If the anticipation was getting him this worked up, then perhaps all would go well in the end!

Said anxious eagerness reached its apex when the train began gradually decreasing in speed.

He spared a sideways glance toward Stella who confirmed his suspicions with a simple nod. They were close to what she had told him was the main transit hub of the Northern Mountains: Crescent Moon Station.

Soon enough, their train entered what Fredrick expected was the station, considering the light fixtures, familiar looking operations and ticketing centers, etc. Their lane of tracks cut straight through the center, and on either side stood one-story buildings that weren't dissimilar to Canterlot's hub, save smaller.

What was still trippy to him was the fact that this entire experience was all in the mountain. Looking up and out the window yielded no sky nor clouds, but precisely chiseled and carved cave surface, snuffing out all light save for the ones placed artificially.

There still wasn't too much detail that Fredrick could make out, though he did note a modest amount of ponies going about their day, preparing to board the next train either out of the Range or deeper into the mountains and beyond.

As he had expected, all but maybe two individuals were batponies. Further, the temperature had dropped to the point where he was glad he had brought his jacket with him. There were some expectations that had been dashed, though, namely that nopony was yelling “SCOTLAND FOREVERRRRR!” nor beating the shit out of each other while charging a column of British soldiers.

There was, however, some pleasant, peaceful ambient music playing as ponies waited patiently.

It’s… oddly peaceful.

The duo finally stepped off the train and onto the stone platform, Fredrick having his backpack slung and Stella with… nothing.

This realization dawned on him once he breathed in the fresh scent of inner-mountain air; it smelt of a dense forest and oddly clean, like the ozone smell after a fresh torrential downpour.

“Wait, you didn’t bring anything?” he asked.

Stella stretched both of her arms over her head and yawned, tensing her body up and thrusting her chest out as she did a full body stretch.

Her back popped as she contorted, accompanied with a near orgasmic-sounding sigh.

“Nah, I’ve got clothes an’ other shite back at home. I’m good. But, prepare for trip o’ yer life!” she declared.

Stella snatched his hand and dragged him along running, nearly forcing him to kiss the ground with admittedly less grace than he would kiss her. But that was a negligible drawback to seeing Stella so… uppity. Fredrick met her and knew her as this spry, excitedly crazy (often batshit) mare, and it always brought a lightness to his chest and a smile to his face when he’d see her eyes light up that same way in which he first met her.

Her eagerness was easily understood as they sprinted through the rustically carved tunnel path, one which was large enough to fit a tank and several groups of ponies heading in both directions.

Stella was showing him her home. She had every right to hold herself with the greatest pride.

Artificial light from circular lamps above kept them well lit in what would surely be perpetual, abyssal darkness as Stella’s lead never wavered. They weaved through ponies with the greatest of ease and with the combined dexterity of a beautiful swan dragging an algae-laden stone.

Fredrick’s curiosity spiked, however; artificial light was no longer needed when their access tunnel opened into something much larger. As he could see while the two decided to power-walk the rest of the way, their path seemed to abruptly drop steeply into what looked like an enormous open-area… but of what, he could not say through the lessening darkness and haziness.

This was getting progressively weirder by the moment, but he trusted Stella with his life.

The mare carefully drew his attention from what was to be seen as they stood on the precipice of their descent. She cupped his face and flashed those pearly whites.

“Fredrick, I’d like to welcome you to my home: Thestralshire…”

She then gesticulated grandly with her right hand out towards the scenery, allowing Fredrick to take in and process exactly what he was seeing.

Within the heart of the grand mountains he had entered via train, there was a city. An actual city.

“Holy fuck…” he whispered.

Through the omnipresent veil of moisture that had settled as a gentle fog, the giant ‘opening’ they had come to was the hollowed out insides of the mountain. Behind those beautiful peaks that were enchantingly hidden behind the low-lying clouds on their approach was what he was looking at right now: a dome. An artificial valley carved out with hundreds of years of seemingly impossible engineering. Buildings much like in Canterlot rose up in the center with what looked like residential suburbs around its perimeter and expanding outward.

Perhaps he was overstating the majesty in his mind, as this ‘city’ was not as large as Canterlot by any means. But even so… what literally lit it up was the giant, gaping opening above from what once was undoubtedly another mountain peak. The clouds rolled past like an atmospheric river and the residual floated down and continued to aid in the blanketing of the city proper. Along the edges even more structures were built into the internal mountain edifice.

If he had to fancy a guess, this in-mountain batpony metropolis was probably only twenty, maybe thirty-thousand ponies at most; the size of a large college campus in terms of population.

That still did not stop the feeling of general hustle and bustle from such a self-contained community; ponies still made their way up and down the stairs, slipping past the observing duo and not paying them more than passive annoyance for possibly getting in their way.

And the thing that made Fredrick even more amused was that he heard Stella’s accent perfectly… all around him in different octaves and tones.

“Well?” Stella cut into his conversation, an ever-knowing smile present on her face. “Whaddya think, mate? Pretty fuckin’ cool if I do say so m’self, aye?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips as she, too, admired her hometown from this vantage.

Fredrick was at least marginally inclined to agree.

“I'll say… Jesus this is the most beautiful thing I've seen in terms of scenery!”

Stella raised a lone eyebrow.

“What about me in that bikini you like so much?”

Fredrick held up his index finger pointedly.

“...This is the second most beautiful thing I've seen in terms of scenery!”

“That’s more like it!” she exclaimed, nodding, and then brought him in for a peck on the cheek.

Stella took his hand once more, and made the first tentative step down the inner edifice of the mountain.

“Alright love, let’s get to the ground. It’s time fer you tae meet me fam—”

“Oi! Can yae fukkin’ cunts move yer arses outta the way, yer blockin’ everypone who’s got shit tae do fer fucks sake!” came a sudden, masculine interjection.

The startled couple looked back and found an older batpony male with a graying mane and faded coat shuffling indignantly around them to make his way down their path.

Stella, of course, was quick to reply to native tongue with native tongue. She called after the descending older stallion.

“How ‘bout ya fuckin’ go back tae molestin’ middle-schoolers ya overeasy hemorrhoid? I’ll fuckin’ put you in a fuckin’ morgue—don’t trip on yer saggy bawbag on the way down, ya old wrinkled twat!” she yelled through her cupped hands.

The departing stallion only grumbled back in return.

Fredrick’s impressed face only admired Stella where she stood, nodding in approval. To him, she just had this sonorous way with words that could make strong men buckle at the knees for her attention.

Stella’s expression bounced back to nostalgic, and she took a deep breath. Shutting her eyes, she exhaled and looked back at Fredrick.

“It’s good tae be home. Come on, let’s get to the ground!”

Stella then lead him down at least eight different flights of stairs to an elevator hub, which took them the rest of the way down. Conversation at this point tapered off to a more pleasant quiet as Stella allowed her coltfriend to just take in everything he was seeing. The elevators themselves were see-through, so Fredrick was treated to just as breathtaking of a view as before, all while they descended to heights that were much more conducive to a human who could not naturally take flight.

Perhaps a little too soon, their elevator gently rested them on the solid ground, facing one of the main streets of Thestralshire.

“Alright, I’ll give ye a full tour later, but let’s head to my place first.”

Fredrick reached for Stella’s hand and, after wading through the initial wave of ponies switching places on elevators, the mare gestured towards a smaller boulevard lined with residential homes. Said homes were built with a mixture of stone, wood, and other materials into sturdy structures not unlike houses and townhomes seen in Canterlot and Ponyville.

Street lamps lit up the cobblestone roads just enough and the light from the ‘natural skylight’ above. The foggy veil that Fredrick had seen from above was now omnipresent around them, and vision was obscured to about two hundred feet in front.

In addition, the temperature dropped about ten degrees, and the tiny hairs on his neck and forearms bristled at the sudden change, despite his warmer attire.

“Alright. Where do you live?” he asked as Stella whisked him away on a journey full of magic and wonder.

“Not too far from here. Just a few streets down this way, which makes things easier,” she answered, then donned a cheekier smirk.

“Better prep yourself now, because you’re about to meet the ponies who made me!”

That comment didn’t exactly ease his nerves but her previous reassurances were fresh in his mind, so he decided to just wing it, as he always had when meeting parents. Fredrick, even from a very young age, seemed to get along swimmingly with adults, and so far his ability to relate to the adult generation that he was now a part of continued to hold.

And as the two of them finally approached a particular, wide one-story house, he hoped that this would continue to hold true.

All the streets looked the same to him, and their brisk, fifteen minute walk led them to a certain ‘Nocturnal Street’ and the aforementioned house which held the address number ‘713.’ Said house was, as he previously noted, only one-story as opposed to the many two-story houses that existed on the street. However, this one was much wider, and likely was built farther back, as it occupied the same amount of land, so to speak. Being inside a mountain, lawns were not really conducive to growing, but rather there was a small section of luminous, twinkling navy-blue crystals that lined the perimeter of the lot.

A small path led straight from the sidewalk to the front door, which in turn was flanked by two windows on either side, as well as a much larger window pane on the right-most side. The stony exterior reminded him something of the Flintstones, but it was much nicer, much more deliberate and conscious quality and builds-manship.

In short, it was quaint and Fredrick liked the look of it. Further, light emanated from inside the windows, indicating that whoever lived there was indeed home.

Stella nudged her shoulder into Fredrick’s, looking up at him.

“Well, here we are!”

“So we are. Let’s do this!”

“I like that enthusiasm. They’ll like you, trust me!” she reassured one last time, leading the still somewhat-unsure human through the crystal ‘gate’ and to the front door.

Stella then reached out and grasped the glass door handle. She was about to turn, but perked up when she remembered to fish her key out of her pocket and insert it into the lock. Turning it with an accompanying unlatching sound, she then deliberately turned the knob with nary a click.

She glanced at Fredrick over her shoulder and nodded once with an eager simper, beckoning him to follow her in.

Light on her hooves, she gently pushed open the door and entered the common room with Fredrick backing her up. The latter closed the door as stealthily as Stella opened it, and decided to have a look around.

It was a simple common room, with a massive area rug in the shape of what appeared to be a coat of arms in the middle of the rectangular living area. Ebony-wooden cabinets, armoires, and miscellaneous tables with little trinkets and other useful and aesthetic objects adorned the perimeter. A gentle, soothing light seemed to emanate from the walls themselves much like the Stalactite back in Canterlot, and Fredrick honestly preferred this form of ambient light for the room. A three-seater couch, a loveseat, and three arm chairs made up the remainder of the empty space along with a coffee table to top it all off.

One thing that also dragged his attention to the left was an enormous picture frame, and what lay in it appeared to be a family portrait.

He had no time to scrutinize the picture, though, when Stella suddenly announced:

“Mum, Dad! I’m home!”

Fredrick dutifully (if fidgeting a tad) took his place next to Stella with his arms folded behind his back in preparation for what was to inevitably transpire.

Not a sound was to be heard in response, but a single moment later yielded the calculating, delicate hoof-falls from the next room over. Said hoof-clops got progressively louder until a lone figure emerged from beyond the veil of the rightmost doorway.

And to say Fredrick was taken aback (in a good way) by what he saw would be an understatement.

The female thestral came into the light and her golden eyes were as radiant as he had ever seen in Stella’s own pools of gold. Her coat was the same color as his marefriend’s and even her stance… her walk was as deliberate and perfected as Stella’s natural sashay.

This newcomer was perhaps a couple inches shorter than the guardsmare, however, and her face bore an almost uncanny, if modestly aged up familiarity. A petite figure complimented it all, gracefully hidden under a layer of red blouse, shin-length skirt, and light coat; the latter were all black as night.

Two shallow creases lined her dimpled cheeks, further prominent when her entire fanged visage seemed to beam brighter than the moon.

If this was what Stella looked like when she got older, Fredrick hit the fucking jackpot.

“Hey, Mum!”

“Always wonderful to have my little Stella home!” the mare squeaked out with the excitable, Scottish-accented glee that only a mother could have.

She spryly bounded forward and embraced Stella tightly, and the latter returned the hug with equal vigor. Fredrick felt it was best to give them some space, and he looked on with a pleasant grin.

It’s like she’s coming home from two years at war or something, heh.

Mom held Stella’s hands as they separated. She nodded as she looked her daughter over, a mirror image of herself save for larger breasts, posterior, and muscular build in general. As Fred had noted before, petite by any definition.

“I see yer eatin’ well, aye?” she followed up with a voice as smooth as the finest champagne. Not a hint of rasp was to be heard.

Stella nodded in kind.

“Aye, that I am.”

Mom then pecked her daughter’s cheek and then promptly nudged past her. Her tone was no longer nostalgic as she turned her full attention to Fredrick… who suddenly felt like a deer in the headlights of a freight train.

“Alright now that’s enough with all the fuckin’ ‘pleasantries,’ love. How ‘bout you introduce me to who ya brought with ye? This ‘im?” Mom spouted, meeting Fredrick’s taller gaze as she stepped fully in front of him.

Somehow, she still felt like the predator.

“Right!” Stella exclaimed excitedly. “Ahem… Mum, this is Fredrick, my coltfriend.”

Mom produced an exaggerated blink and recoil. Regardless, her attention never turned from Fred.

“Mate yer datin’ her?” she asked, thumbing over her shoulder at Stella. She then placed a comforting palm on his shoulder.

“Love, I am so sorry, ya poor bastard. Please…” she leaned in. “...where did she touch you?”

Stella scoffed and nodded with faux irritation. Yet that smirk on her face never quit, giving credence that this happened often. Still, that did not make it any less hysterical for Fredrick, who in turn nearly threw his head back in laughter; he instead settled for a hearty chuckle.

“Ma’am, Stella’s a wonderful mare, I’ll have you know!” he replied with equal enthusiasm as the other two, feeling that the ice was already sufficiently broken.

She smirked and nodded at the comment; compliments about one’s children tended to go farther than direct compliments to themselves.

He was about to offer his hand to the shorter mare, but she beat him to it, delicately presenting her right hand to him.

“Schiavona Sabre,” she introduced with a smile… that same fucking cocky smile that Stella sported casually.

“But please,” she continued, lidding her eyes confidently. “Call me ‘Vona.’”

Their hands met in a firm, yet gentle embrace, and Fredrick shook hands with parent one of two in what he considered a successful meeting thus far. His own smile could not hide his relief at how smooth this was. Moreover, that look she gave him was telling, though quite unlike the coy-laden one Stella employed more often than not. No, this was the harbinger of something else, namely an intensely scrutinizing gesture that was hell-bent on seeing if Fred was truly good enough for her daughter.

“Fredrick, as Stel’ had said. It’s an honor to finally meet you, Vona.”

She scoffed through her teeth and rolled her eyes, giggling.

“Oh fuck off with yer honor, Fred! Heh, keep talkin’ like that and ye might have tae sweep me off me hooves, too!”

She then glanced at an observing, elated Stella behind her.

“So what got ye so wet over this one, eh?”

Fredrick had to stifle a deep chortle. Stella, though, merely shrugged.

“Ehh what can I fuckin’ say? The cunt’s smart, makes me laugh mah fuckin’ panties off, and hasn’t run away scared! He’s stuck with me!” she noted so articulately.

Fredrick was more than okay with those reasons.

Vona turned to her in full and let her hip fall cocked, her face suddenly unimpressed in the slightest. Countering skillfully with an accompanying point toward the door, she said:

“Oh my sweet, beautiful daughter… if that’s all it fuckin’ takes to get into yer knickers I think we’re gonna have tae take a family trip down to the fuckin’ clinic and have ‘em get a good look up at you.”

It was about that time when Fredrick launched into a massive coughing fit in any attempt to not laugh and endure the wrath of Stella. Even so, this was something he did not know he needed in his life.

My god she's a roast master supreme!

Stella deadpanned.

“Wow, Mum… and here I thought we had a good relationship,” she joked, and then participated in the laughter as well when she saw a mixture of both hilarity and discomfort in Fred’s face.

Vona ignored her and began pacing around Fredrick where he stood. This extorted a casual raise of his eyebrow as he followed her movements.

The mare’s look scrutinized him from each conceivable angle, her muzzle resting in the crook of her right thumb and index finger.

“Hmmm let's see… aye, decently tall, a bit o’ muscle, looks like ye can hold a wee bit of drink too, not too poofy lookin’…” she rattled off pensively.

Vona then stepped in front of him and pressed her face to the forefront of his vision. Fredrick, by reflex, recoiled his head back at the foreign presence in his personal space.

“Green eyes. Hmph. Oh yer most definitely her type,” she claimed, nodding as she retracted her posture.

She then glanced back and forth between Fredrick and Stella before promptly interjecting into the silence with the utmost nonchalance:

“So. You fuckin’ me daughter?”

Fredrick blanched immediately, and at that moment, Thestralshire was one of the more humid, warmer cities in Equestria.

“W-Whaat?! Ummm… I uhhh, well… I don’t think...” Fredrick struggled to piece together a coherent sentence, and while Vona was patiently awaiting an answer, Stella had no qualms with bursting out laughing.

Said laughter was a little contagious, and Fredrick was able to utter a giggle as he tugged at his shirt collar. Vona’s peering gaze refused to waver though, and the human was silently pleading with Stella to save him from this question to which there was actually no right answer.

Salvation came from a most unlikely source.

“I recognize that bubbly fuckin’ laugh anywhere!” boomed a much more masculine, but not profoundly deep voice that was yet the true quintessence of Scottishness.

Fredrick felt like his balls dropped for the second time in his life just by hearing that manly rhasp that tickled mares in a five-mile radius. It’s source: a lean, yet muscular stallion who entered in from the left archway.

Fredrick expected somepony with glorious facial hair, a kilt, and a bagpipe entrance… but quite the opposite: a few inches taller than him, a clean, well-trimmed and slightly-narrower face, comfortably-fitting dark jeans, and an accompanying fitted, long-sleeved crew-neck shirt.

Also, no bagpipes.

The most notable difference from everypony in the room was the lighter, distinctively blue coat with a teal-colored, immaculately combed mane. Deep, sapphire eyes commanded the attention of the entire room and the stoic, steely exterior with the rigid posture screamed ‘military.’ Said lean musculature reminded him distinctly of Stella’s, and shone through his shirt nicely, further corroborating the ‘military’ thought. Overall, Fredrick had to concede that, as a man, this was a very good looking stallion. This is what his stallion-crush would probably look like, in all honesty.

And Fred was rethinking whether Stella got her good looks from Vona.

His fangs were much longer than his wife’s, as the human found out when it was the newcomer’s turn to brighten upon laying eyes on his daughter.

“Stella!”

“Dad!”

Stella, this time, took the liberty of bounding forward and throwing her weight against her stonewall father as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Dad gladly returned the gesture by swinging her around merrily once, then chuckled while he set her down. He placed a kiss on her forehead.

He then tousled her mane; unheard of for anypony to do that to Stella lest they had a deathwish.

They separated and he placed both his hands on her shoulders, bestowing a most admiring gaze upon his eldest daughter.

“Lieutenant, hmmm? We’ll have to celebrate that now that you’re fuckin’ here finally! This place is a little warmer now that you’re home,” he fielded, cupping her face with is right hand.

Stella leaned into all his gestures, and her eyes reflected the very essence of a ‘daddy’s girl.’ There was no question she loved her mother, but Fredrick could see right there that she had a special father-daughter bond and dynamic.

“Aye,” Stella nodded. “You were right though; the shit only piles on with rank!”

Dad produced a lone, deep, sympathetic nod.

“Mm. Be happy yer not in another branch o’ Special Forces.”

The two separated and, simultaneously, stood tall and saluted one another.

Once their little amusing dynamic had concluded, however, Dad’s sight was instantly drawn to Fredrick… who felt the need to righten his posture even more than it was. It was time.

He thumbed towards the human.

“Who the fuck is this poof?”

Yup, they’re all related.

Stella nudged her elbow into his arm, scolding him.

“Dad, that’s Fredrick, fer fucks sake.”

Dad’s eyes widened.

“Oh… OH! Oh right, whoops! I forgot about that, fuck me…” he quickly softened, then marched right up to Fredrick, who irrationally (or perhaps, rationally) feared dismemberment.

Thankfully, he was able to clear his mind and offer his hand to the patriarch of the household.

“Fredrick, sir… as Stella said. Pleasure to meet you,” he introduced.

Dad took his hand and delivered a firm, yet crushing grip that Fred was able to adjust appropriately.

“Vampir Sabre,” he said, shaking Fred’s hand. The human carefully noted that it was pronounced ‘fam-peer.’

“Ahh, so you’re the one she’s written so much about. Very lovely tae meet you, Fredrick. Now, I’ll let ya know… I’m not very good at these so I’m not gonna cocktease an’ just ask it: Are ye drillin’ me daughter?!”

Fred could not even respond with pleasantries before he was blindsided with the same question. Stopped in his tracks and blanched even more than before, Stella’s uproarious, borderline breathless laughter could not even allay his fears for his physical well-being.

His mouth attempted to put some words out, but failed spectacularly as his eyes roamed everywhere, refusing to meet Vampir's. It didn't help anything that he actually had drilled Stella… numerous upon numerous times that night.

Fred’s lips moved but could not produce sound; he had no mouth and he had to scream.

Vampir joined his daughter in a chorus of deep chuckling and placed a rather large hand on Fred’s shoulder.

“I’m just fuckin’ with you, mate…” he interjected, but his expression quickly darkened.

“But no funny business with her as long as I’m around, aye?!” he added sternly. He did not raise his voice at all, but his tone was unquestioning, promising hellfire if this unknown creature was to defile his daughter.

Stella cleared her throat, uttering a very specific sentence that, despite the odd choice, she was confident in.

“Dad, he can’t get me pregnant.”

“Correction!” Vampir decreed. “You may drill my daughter to yer hearts entire fuckin’ content… literally. Please, come, come have a seat! Welcome to our home!”

He did an immediate one-eighty with a bright smile, and gently nudged Fredrick towards the couch.

“Aye!” Vona added in, laying an arm around his shoulders and neck as they sat. “Want somethin’ tae drink? Water? Juice? Gin? Cum?”

“Umm…”

“Cum??” Vona clarified knowingly.

Fredrick’s face shone of someone who was conflicted; he was beginning to have little grasp of what was going on… and he then found himself sitting on a surprisingly comfortable couch.

Did… did I just get eager permission to bang Stella? These times we’re living in.

And did mom just ask me if I wanted cum to drink?!

Is it Stella’s?

“NO!” he countered a bit too loudly, but corrected his volume. “I’m okay… thank you,” Fredrick squeaked. Vona shrugged.

“Suit yerself, Fred!”

“Oi, Stell’,” Vampir interrupted, turning to the mare in question. “Yer arms are a little bigger; still training?”

Stella beamed, then posed strongmare style.

“Of course! It’s how I get me frustrations out when dealin’ with subordinates.”

Vampir understood completely.

“Mm. I’ll say. But yer lookin’ great! Keep it up an’ maybe you’ll get bigger muscles than me,” he teased with some flexing of his own.

Stella rolled her eyes.

“Too bad there’s no workout tae make me tits bigger…”

Fredrick cocked his head to an almost ninety-degree angle. But he had no chance for input as Vona cut in with her opinion, scoffing.

“Oh fuck off, yer one tae complain ‘bout small tits. I got fucked on that end!” she jokingly lambasted.

One of the more amusing things about this dynamic thus far was that ‘tits’ was pronounced ‘tets’ via their accent. Regardless, if this was how they were speaking to each other on a regular basis, he would be treated to a dinner and a show.

Stella went on the defensive.

“Oi, don’t fuckin’ blame me! Sveta has enough tits fer all of us and dad! The bitch stole ‘em!”

Fredrick wished he could add something to this, but truth be told, he didn’t have anything to say… he was still in shock that the current conversation talk was the size of the family bosoms. This would be impossible on Earth without other guests thinking that you had a mildly incestuous thing going on.

“On that thought,” Stella wondered. “Where the fuck is she?”

She then turned towards the left-most door whence her father came from, cupping her hands around her muzzle and calling out:

“Svet’! Fer the love o’ shit, girl… Get yer tit-thievin’ ass out here and come meet me coltfriend!”

“She’s not home,” Vona informed, shrugging.

“Ugh… then where the fuck is she?!” Stella demanded.

Vampir’s turn to weigh in.

“Where do ya fuckin’ think?” he asked. “Crescent’s Club. Been there most days since school’s been on holiday.”

“Why don’t you and Fredrick go bring her home?” Vona suggested, gesturing towards the door. “I’ll get supper started so we can feast tonight!”

Stella raised a lone pointer finger.

“Right! Come along, Fredrick!” she exclaimed, dragging the human by the shirt collar until he fell into step with her. “Time tae go an’ meet Sveta and bring her cunt ass home!”

The knob of the front door began to turn, and the front door opened inward.

“Or not,” Stella added, and everyone’s attention turned towards the individual who just entered.

In her stunned stupor at the small gathering and guest that they had, the new mare closed the door behind her and Fredrick was able to get full look at her. Immediately he noticed the teal-colored coat, navy mane with ponytail, and sapphire eyes… all with a standard v-neck and denim pants. Like Stella had informed him earlier, she was about two inches taller than her with and a much slimmer profile. By ‘slimmer,’ he meant in terms of musculature; this new mare was certainly in shape akin to a woman who worked out at the gym a lot, but was by no means a hardened soldier.

Her slimmer profile gave her more of an hourglass figure, though it was lopsided more towards her rather large chest, as had been previously ‘discussed.’ A narrower face than Stella’s reminded Fred of Princess Luna, though this one had a proportionally smaller muzzle. No cute dimples to poke, either.

As far as Fredrick was concerned, the ‘Sabre’ family had some excellent genes.

The newcomer’s eyes flicked between Fredrick and Stella… and then it dawned on her. She grinned brightly, and revealed to Fredrick just how they were all related: that identical smile was most certainly hereditary through Mom.

She pointed to him, but addressed everypony else.

“Is this who I fuckin’ think it is?!” she asked with an eagerness that Fredrick wished others had when meeting him.

Her voice, though… it was as smooth as Vona’s yet higher in tone; less mature-sounding, even more-so than Stella’s. That distinctive drawl was ever present and unmistakable.

While Vampir and Vona stood together off to the side, Stella thrust Fredrick to the forefront of attention, proudly displaying what was ‘hers’ whilst earning a pained grunt from the human.

“Sveta, meet the ‘dickhead’ Fredrick! Fredrick, Sir Dickhead esquire, meet me younger sister Sveta!”

Not one to shirk on introductions, Fredrick beamed pridefully and presented his hand.

“Sveta! Super awesome to meet you, I’m FRED—!”

The poor sap’s hand was totally disregarded, and Sveta instead lunged and enveloped him in a crushing hug around his midsection. Though she was still shorter than him, she was able to nearly take him off his feet without seemingly much effort, smashing her chest into his diaphragm whilst constricting his torso with an exuberant squee.

Contrary to the erotic thoughts involved, boobs actually hurt when they were sufficiently large and ramming into you with the full-force of body weight.

“YOU’RE THE FREDRICK! Gahh I’ve heard sooo much about you! I'm Sveta Sabre!” she exclaimed, finally giving him some reprieve when she released her iron hold on his torso.

Her stare turned cold.

“So. You plowing me sister?”

Fredrick threw his hands up, rolling his eyes and turning around once to find Stella snickering heavily.

Fucking… seriously?!

Sveta’s elastic expression bounced back, and she joined in on the giggling.

“Nah mate, just teasin’. I mean, of course you are!”

She then gave him a quick look up and down and shuffled energetically in place.

“It’s been so wonderful to have somepony make her so happy! Come! Come! Make yerself at home! Keep her as happy as she is an’ we’re gonna get along amazingly well!” she added, grasping Fredrick by the forearm.

She then glared at her older sister.

“And ya don’t fuckin’ show him to yer room or where’ll be stayin’? The winner of ‘not my goddamn job’ award goes to me! Grow some fuckin’ manners, bitch, he’s yer coltfriend!”

Stella blew a raspberry in return, more than eager to return minced, sisterly words.

“Oi, fuck you, cunt! And before ya ask, no, ya can’t share him either. Find yer own dick ya useless pair o’ udders, and stop tryin’ tae eat his ass!”

Fredrick glanced back and forth between the two, unease written all over his face along with a permanently cocked eyebrow.

Sveta still had a grip over his right forearm, and Vona and Vampir only leaned against one another and looked on, like new parents watching younger children play with each other in the grass.

So weirded out was he, that Fred did not even think to steal a look down Sveta’s shirt… and that was some cleavage.

That would’ve been better written on Charlotte's Web, in his opinion.

No seriously, what the fuck is going on?

Sveta’s visage played host to the word ‘unimpressed’ in all of its forms.

“I’m a little too old fer you tae boss me ‘round. And quite frankly I’ve stopped takin’ orders from a fat-assed, loud-mouth midget.”

Fredrick’s eyes shrank to pinpricks.

Oh lawdy…

Stella’s hooves pounded the ground as she trudged over to her sister, sticking her muzzle right into Sveta’s. Neither party was mindful of Fredrick’s presence.

“We fuckin’ explorin’ personal boundaries already ya fuckin’... fat-titted, ‘fuck a stallion once and turned him gay,’ fuckin’ college educated bitch?!”

“It’s so wonderful to have the family together again,” Vona sighed out blissfully.

Vampir nodded, holding her closer with his arm around her waist.

“Aye.”

Fredrick thought, at that very moment, that somepony was going to die. But, his expectations today having been expertly dashed many times, the two mares exploded in gut-busting laughter, all while throwing their arms around one another along with some intelligible garble.

“Fuck I missed ya, Stel’...”

“You too, Svet’.”

The two sisters relished in their tight hug, eyes shut for a few moments as they rekindled whatever little bit of their bond may have been lost through distance and negligible time.

“Sveta’s right, though,” Vona piped up, and all attention turned to her.

She gestured to the left-most doorway of the common room.

“You two go on and get Fredrick settled. Food’ll be ready in an hour or so.”

“I’ll help,” Vampir offered, and the two made their way to the kitchen.

And so, Fredrick was left with the two Sabre sisters, and a deep, primal instinct within him was afraid for his life as four predatory eyes set their sights on him. His heart began to beat rapidly and he felt an inexplicable need to pivot his foot on the floor.

“Aye! See? Told ya not tae worry, Fred. You’ll get to know everypony better in time.”

She kissed his cheek and nuzzled him playfully.

“Besides, turns out I also have another quick job to do!”

“Oh yeah?” Fredrick asked, eager to get his mind off of first impressions. “Whatsup?”

Clearing her throat and coughing lightly, she then explained:

“When the Princess found out I was coming north, she asked me if I could bring back a couple boxes of documents regarding potential new recruits from the area. It would be cheaper than having them mailed to Canterlot, and she said I could keep half the savings! A thousand bits, mate? Fuck yeah!”

Fred shrugged.

“Can't argue with that logic!”

“Nope!” Stella said, grinning.

She clapped her hands together.

“So. Tomorrow you get to hang out with Sveta for most of the day. She'll make sure ya don't get intae trouble, aye?”

He turned to the mare in question, who nodded tersely.

“Oh really?” he bade clarification.

“Aye!” Sveta affirmed, saluting.

Stella continued.

“We’re gonna give ye a grand tour, but I'll have to split off early to account fer this shit. So she'll be with ya the whole time, even when you eat, nap, wank, or take a shit.”

Sveta scoffed, then crossed her arms under her chest.

“More like even if I take a shit, and lemme tell ye… I shit a lot, mate. Coffee just goes right fuckin’ through me but keeps everythin’ clean in there,” she said, gesturing appropriately to her slim tummy.

Fredrick knew that feeling all too well.

“Coffee goes in and out for you too! The struggle!” he declared, smiling.

He held up his hand and Sveta high-fived him promptly.

“Yeeee.”

Stella then got a head start toward the left common room exit, beckoning her sister and Fredrick along.

“Alright shitloafs. Let's get Fred settled.”

Sveta was right behind her on that.

“Aye!”

Fredrick offered his own affirmation, but his attention was drawn back to where it was before the fateful, familial meeting: the family portrait hanging high on the left-most wall.

His eyes roamed over the ultra-detailed, hand-painted picture. It featured an Equestrian Special Forces uniform-clad Vampir in the center, standing ramrod though with a familiar smile adorned on his face as well as visor-cap atop his head. To his right was Vona in a more formal, navy blue sleeveless dress.

In front of both, stood two young girls, Stella and Sveta on the right and left respectively. Each had their cute little school uniforms. Even at that age, Fredrick could tell that Stella was already ruler of her classes, and her sister probably had a line of colts following her. Training his vision on Stella's younger self, he took in how little about her had changed, save for physical proportions in accordance with her age. Part of him felt that, despite only knowing her for seven months, he could relate to the early adolescent girl in the portrait... like he had known her his entire life. Something about her personality, her aura she carried resonated with him so well that, though their actual romantic relationship was fledgling, part of him felt he was with a childhood sweetheart.

He noted that even here, Vona and the girls shared the same smile.

“WELL ANYTIME TODAY, PRINCESS FUCKIN’ SUNSHIT! DON’T KEEP YER MAREFRIEND WAITIN’ YA BIG FUCKIN’ PRICK!" Sveta roared, ripping Fredrick violently from his pensive stupor and yanking him along by the arm out of the common room.

Her chest bounced lightly through her effort, and if she was going to give him an attitude like that, Fred took little issue in stealing a single glance.

Heart attack aside, Fredrick understood and appreciated the sentiment and protectiveness from Sveta of her older sister.

“You know, when I first met you not even three minutes ago, I thought you were the nicer of the two sisters.”

“Oh believe me, I'm plenty nice. Fuck yer thoughts, cunt!”

10. Comparisons and Cuntrasts

The relative silence of the west wing of the Sabre house was annihilated by the powerful crack of Stella’s room-door being booted open. The door swung inward and the inside handle slammed against the inner-most wall, likely adding another millimeter to the already-present divot, if not already a hole.

“Well, here we are!” the matriarch of the room proclaimed, and reached into the familiar, welcoming darkness along the aforementioned inner wall.

Fredrick casually noted the subtle indentation by the doorframe exactly where she kicked, as well as the strike plate worn, dented, and morphed from time and abuse.

There, Stella felt around until she found exactly what she was looking for: the dial that controlled the illumination crystals and magical candles. Turning it to the right, her room was now doused in a soothing, artificial lavender light. The crystals themselves could not be seen, and were likely embedded in the walls, just like the rest of the house, as far as Fredrick was concerned.

Stella beckoned everypony inside with a tilt of her head, but Sveta had to make a quick stop, to which her sister had something to say as she strode on by.

“Oi! Where ya goin’, Tits McColt?” she questioned.

Fredrick let out a single, stifled, high-pitched chortle at Sveta’s implicit nickname and its painfully obvious, underlying reasonings.

Thus far from the maybe ten minutes of interaction he had had with Stella’s family, their dynamic was one of the most entertaining he had ever seen… akin to if Braveheart was a sitcom. Also thus far, Stella and Sveta demonstrated a strong, yet very sisterly bond if their unrelenting banter was any indication; two superpowers not attempting to topple the other, but merely prod each other for the ‘lulz.’

Politics.

Knowing what he knew about her sister, Sveta would not take Stella’s words lying down.

“Droppin’ by me room fer two seconds. I’ll be back; shut yer cockholster. A-An’ keep yer knickers on while I’m gone, slag. Think ye can handle it?” she riposted with equal measure as she continued down the hall.

Stella twirled her fingers exaggeratedly around one of her bangs, and in a sing-song tone, replied:

“No guarantees~!”

Stella huffed and yanked Fredrick into her room by his shirt collar, where she then spread her arms wide in grandiose gesticulation.

“Fredrick, welcome to me sex dunge—ahem… me room!” she declaimed, then proceeded to throw herself onto her bed with a nostalgic sigh.

With the initial introduction over, Fredrick allowed his eyes to adjust to the new light and roam over Stella’s room… her domain.

He had been to her barracks before to shoot the shit, as it were, and her room bore perhaps causal similarity to her ‘work room.’ That is, aside from the already differentiable navy-blue wall color. Here, there was still much more… personality present, beyond the still-admittedly plain-looking dresser and desk. Much more than any bunk could demonstrate.

And by ‘personality,’ Fredrick figured that included, but was not limited to a boy-band poster on the right-most wall overlooking the vanity. The hanging wall-scroll displayed five rather… beautiful looking young batpony and unicorn stallions who all looked like Kaiser Edgelord von Edgmeisters to the extreme.

And in harsh lettering, the name ‘No Direction’ stood out to him most prominently. Fredrick would be lying if he did not spare a chuckle.

Letting his vision continue surveying his new surroundings, Fred drifted from the poster to her desk, where right above it was hung Stella’s familial coat of arms. Right above it was a pristinely cleaned, shiny like-new sword.

More specifically, a falchion.

The longest wall was directly parallel to the entrance, which was where her double-bed lay by the right-most corner, with the dresser making up the rest of the space between the bed and the left wall. This quickly became of little concern to him, especially when he spied a modest-sized dildo sitting right on the dresser erect… that had apparently gathered dust from lack of use.

Or at least, he hoped that was the case.

Of course, Fredrick figured this would be the greatest conversation topic at the moment, so he pointed directly to the current object of his affections.

“So… you either had one last wild ride before you left here last time, or you have a really dusty vagina, Stel’… Jesus Christ what the hell is the matter with you?!” he said, drawing Stella’s attention to the sex toy standing rigid and proud on her dresser.

And as Fred had come to expect with numerous things in his life, Stella’s dismissive wave and roll of her eyes meant she could not give a single shit.

“Hey,” she began with a shrug. “You’re in my room, and you knew the fuckin’ risks. You made yer bed, now sleep in it, cunt,” she finished, patting the side of her equally navy-blue comforter.

Fredrick coughed once, masking some laughter, as he moved to join his mare on her bed.

“I assure you, I was not given any disclaimer and I, in fact, opt out of this fuckery,” he declared, plopping down on her thighs.

She did not even flinch, and in fact, sunk more into her bed with a relaxed sigh. She enjoyed the extra weight. Stella also had the perfect fact to point out:

“Our whole relationship is a non-opt-out disclosure agreement. The only terms are: go fuck yerself and deal with it, ya twat. I am Stella.”

Fredrick looked down upon the resting thestral and poked her nose right in the center.

Now she flinched.

“Ow!”

The human giggled, then cupped the sides of her face with both hands, scrunching up her oh-so cutely dimpled cheeks.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way…” he added with mock condescension.

His expression morphed to one of almost paternal concern as he released Stella’s face from his hands’ soft vice. Her expression bounced back elastically as he vocalized said concerns.

“...but please tell me that the dust collected naturally on the stainless-steel dong and did not in fact stick there… right?”

Stella playfully lunged for his hand and nipped at him, though he pulled away just in time. She then met his concerned expression with her own smug one.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, babe? Maybe I just have a dusty minge? You didn’t seem tae mind all that much a week ago.”

Her eyes lidded further upon Fredrick’s nigh-horrified reaction.

“I can call yer cock ‘Broom an’ Pan’ if that’ll make ye feel better?”

Fredrick only shook his head and turned away, muttering under his breath:

“...fuckin’ hell.”

And despite his readily apparent discomfort, that whittled away under the sheer hilarity of the entire situation, and Fredrick opted to move off of Stella and lay next to her. Parallel to one another, the two stared at the ceiling and emitted a simultaneous, fatigued sigh; today had definitely been a long day of traveling, but so far, it was worth every minute of getting their asses fused to the questionably shitty train seats.

“So,” Stella voiced, turning her gaze to Fredrick and folding her arms behind her head.

“Hmm?” Fredrick responded, mirroring her motions perfectly.

With a genuine inflection lacing her tone, she asked:

“What ye think so far after fifteen minutes? Havin’ fun, love?”

For extra, teasing effect that she knew for a fact never failed to get Fred’s heart in a flutter, she, in kind, fluttered her eyelashes. For somepony who prided herself on being tough and not taking a single shit from anypony but herself—a tomboy, by all accounts—Stella surprisingly held a firm mastery on the art of classical femininity.

And such femininity, while a deadly weapon, always merited a response.

A kiss to the lips and a nibble on her snout was such a riposte, which earned him a cute little wrinkle on her part.

“So far, your family’s nice. Mom and dad seem pretty chill and Sveta’s cool, if a bit on the aggressive side… though I never thought I’d say that when you of all ponies are right next to me. I like her,” he added resolutely, snuggling further into her bed and reveling in his relaxed state.

Stella, however, always had some words to add. Rolling onto her stomach, supporting herself by her forearms, and leering down at her prone coltfriend, she smiled... unimpressed.

“Of course you like ‘er… she’s got big tits and nice fuckin’ legs,” she quipped, but then added with an incredulous, faux-innocent tone:

“Oh please, good sir, what did ye notice first? Her fuckin’ eyes?,” she punctuated with a click of her tongue.

Stella knew exactly what she was doing… and the batpony was one who felt that she would be a shit partner in a relationship if she did not prod her better half’s weaknesses at least the recommended dosage of three times a day.

In this case, she knew Fredrick loved sweater puppies and smooth, lean legs. Sveta had plenty.

As was often the case, Fredrick found himself unable to respond. This time, two firm knuckle taps on the door drew both their collective attention, and they found Sveta peeking with a lone eye inside, cautiously surveying the scene. Fredrick just truly noticed how her front bangs were brushed to either side, split right in the middle with a small widow’s peak fashionably adorning the center of her forehead. Her locks framed her face like a partial veil.

Her higher-toned voice intruded on the couple’s banter further.

“You fucks finish diggin’ the well yet?”

“Nah mate! Just gettin’ started, care tae watch?” Stella so graciously offered.

What could she say? She was a giver, after all. But despite her generous offer, Sveta was less inclined to take her up on it.

The taller mare shook her head as she entered into the room in full, and this time Fredrick’s attention did not settle on any intimate parts... but rather, the acoustic guitar in her left hand’s grasp.

“Nah mate, I’ll pass. He’s tainted with yer bullshit; he wouldn’t know good pussy if it sat on his face at this point,” Sveta shot with as little a thought as Stella had when she spoke… at all, really.

Good lord, this is top quality, Sabre brand-name banter!

Fredrick was taken aback in the best possible ways at the sheer magnitude of their insults to each other; and neither appeared to have any qualms with going for the jugular in a figurative sense… though probably also in the literal sense, if their combined aggression being enough to cave in the remnants of their mountain-metropolis was anything to go by.

And as Sveta took a seat at the foot of Stella’s bed, scooting up, and joining the two of them by leaning against the wall, Fredrick opted to just observe. He likened the experience thus far to watching a show on Animal Planet, and getting a close-up of majestic creatures in their natural habitats.

What a beautiful sight.

So much so, he almost forgot about his marefriend’s impending counterattack.

“Ye may want to sit on some good dick first before ya comment on his taste… ‘cuz I don’t think you ever have, you salty slag,” Stella suggested, returning to her back and facing the ceiling, much like the raptly listening Fredrick next to her.

Sveta did not decide to follow up immediately, so Stella took the opening once more:

“...Because I don’t think ye would know ‘good dick’ if it smacked you across the muzzle.”

Sveta paid her absolutely no mind, sitting lotus position on the bed and pulling her guitar firmly against her chest, further resting it in her lap. Without even sparing a glance toward her older sister, Sveta calmly spoke:

“Ya know, if I wanted me own comeback I’d wipe it off yer mum’s muzzle.”

Fredrick and Stella raised a simultaneous eyebrow at that assertion, though naturally the latter had everything to say.

“We share the same mum, ya scabby bellend,” Stella so obviously pointed out.

“I know what I said!” Sveta reaffirmed her position.

And that last line nearly forced Fredrick to evacuate his damn lungs in guffaw.

But the truth of the matter was, despite the magnitude of the giggling fit tearing at his abs, he had a lot less energy to laugh than he had thought. This was in no small part due to the entire day’s worth of traveling; this would remedy itself upon the consumption of food, but for right now, Fredrick was more than comfortable to lay on Stella’s perfectly-made bed and relax his eyes… all while listening to the sonorous white noise of two batpony sisters sling shit back and forth like trebuchets.

He could probably fall asleep to it, in all honesty; there was no better white noise in his mind.

But, no further banter ever came… just a ‘yeeech,’ out of Stella and she, too, promptly lay her head back in full to rest her eyes. She resumed her previous position, but only for a few short moments before scooting closer to Fredrick.

Talk died at that point, and Sveta took the newfound silence as the ripe opportunity to pluck at a couple random strings of her guitar.

There was no rhythm at first, but she eventually found one in a gentle, harmonic strumming. With her eyes half-lidded in barely-veiled ease, her digits glided over her strings and a soothing, acoustic piece was the product. Placid smirk adorned on her muzzle, she let the meanderings of her mind and the accompanying wandering of her fingers fill the void of the lack of talking.

Especially so when she began softly humming along… and then ‘oooh’ing.

Literally music to Fredrick’s ears.

While Stella never really talked about her family during their time together, it took little mental clarity to confirm that Sveta was the musically gifted one of the family. She did not strum aggressively, nor play Wonderwall thirty times in a goddamn row.

To him, it was the right amount of gentility and care applied to each and every note.

There were undoubtedly many years of practice under her belt, and Fredrick, while barely able to keep his eyes a mite open, felt compelled to say something on the matter after a little while, if a bit groggily.

“That’s some gorgeous playing, Sveta… I could fall asleep to that,” he voiced, placing his right arm behind his head for support so he could at least have the decency to look at their personal guitarist.

“Cheers, Fred,” Sveta replied, beaming him a brief, toothy smile. “It’s meant to relax, so I’m glad you like!”

Stella remained silent, snuggling into Fred’s side and resting her face on his chest. All the while, Fredrick began running his fingers up and down her side. He would walk his fingers up to her shoulder, then drag them tantalizingly slowly down to her waistline, gently prodding the teeny amount of exposed midriff Stella sported from their positioning.

And every once in a while, she would let one pleasureful tingle run through her body… a tingle that always manifested itself when Fredrick would barely graze his fingertips over her skin. A tickle, yet not. A touch, yet so fleeting.

Stella was never the most intimately physical mare, but after her time with Fredrick, she was more than willing to make some exceptions. Her sister’s background music provided ample ability to lose herself in her muddled, tired thoughts and just hang with her colt and her family.

Nothing else mattered.

Well, to her at least.

Fredrick pursed his lips tight when he began hearing what sounded like a faint, low-pitched rumble. Upon further tuning his ears and never ceasing his ministrations, he realized it was a purr—an actual purr—emanating from Stella’s mouth whenever he touched her near her shoulders and traps.

And such a sound was amplified the more he dug his fingers in massage-like purpose.

In the end, as near as he was to giving into the pressure to jokingly lambast Stella for her cute bat noises, he did not want to ruin this moment; he lived for ones like this.

Thusly, he would let her have it… later.

As for Sveta, she only smiled fondly, if nostalgically, at the duo’s semi-public display.

She continued letting her fingers tango with the strings, and seemingly expended no effort in gliding her left hand up and down the fretboard with the precision of a seasoned veteran.

She was no Jimi Hendrix in Fred’s eyes, but based on the soothing yet moderately complex tune to his untrained ears that she was hammering out, she was damn good.

“You play any other instruments?” he ventured to ask.

Sveta kept her eyes dutifully trained on her own motions, and took a few seconds to finish her a few chords before formulating her response.

Fredrick had to have underestimated how tired he actually was, considering he paid nearly no mind to Sveta’s instrument squeezing her bosom tight against her chest—a portion of her tight, natural valley easily visible through the aperture of her v-neck. Her teal coat continued to contrast perfectly with her black t-shirt.

“Just this an’ electric guitar,” came her smooth reply… as if in tandem and synchronous cadence with her own playing. All the while, she went back to her humming and one-vowel singing when her voice was not being used to converse.

That was something else that struck the human. Her voice helped to carry the melody to new heights, and on some of her high notes (though not particularly loud by any means; relaxing, after all), his forearms did not fail to get a mild bit of the chills.

“And you can sing,” he noted with a friendly, amicable inflection. “Musician through and through, huh?”

Sveta ceased her strumming at an instant and focused her sapphire eyes on the opposite wall, considering her next words for a few moments. Without fail, she returned to her playing right where she left off.

“I love it, but it’s not what I want to do with me life. It’s a really addictin’ yet constructive hobby, if ye will,” she answered, then nodded to herself. “Relaxin’, too.”

The music trailed off as the end of her song was upon them, but not all was lost, as another one started up in earnest.

Fred took his previous assertion back; this was the perfect white noise.

“Even so. Could’ve fooled me,” he replied.

And to that, Sveta could do little to sway the tiniest tinge of color to her cheeks. Her fingers were not affected by the compliment-induced stutter, however.

Fredrick had to also concede that, like Stella, Sveta sported a nice smile… she had to; they were identical, after all. But their different facial profiles meant that their features were accented and accentuated differently and accordingly.

That did not equate to an identical personality, though to the untrained eye and ear, it may have seemed that way.

Fred liked to feel that he knew Stella at least modestly well by now. He had never seen her without some measure of a smile kissing her facial features… and even when she was frustrated or chewing out her subordinates, she always found a way to smile about it in the end, usually in the form of sardonic and crude humor. It was one of the things he admired about her most.

Sveta, however, in her calmest state had barely a fraction of that same smile that was so innate to her personality, as well. Even as Fredrick cautiously observed her mannerisms, there was little more than that subtle upturn of the corner of her lips. Those lidded eyes and her narrower face brimmed with one-track concentration.

He was beginning to note the discrete differences between the ‘Sabre Sisters,’ as he already affectionately began referring to them.

And so far, he could live with a little vacation that included Stella being oddly extra affectionate to him, and her attractive sister playing what sounded like (at the moment) Scottish lute tunes on a six-string guitar.

What a magical place.

After what seemed like an hour of the most peace and serenity that could ever be had around the equivalent of a high-explosive mine and an entire navy of sailors, a new, feminine voice ripped through the silence… it built upon its own wake and expanded through the empty corridors of the household in a most sonorous yet simultaneously cacophonous decree:

“FOOD’S FUCKIN’ READY, CUNTS! GET THE FUCK DOWN ‘ERE BEFORE I UNBIRTH THE LOT OF YE!

Sveta let her guitar fall from her lap with a complete about-face in her gracefulness. Her music ceased just as abruptly.

“Later, dickheads!” she declared with a simple wave, bounding to her hooves and strutting out the room back towards the kitchen.

Stella then sat upright and stretched both her arms over her head, groaning as a few wayward pops sounded from her back. Twisting the extra tension out of her lats and her spine, she turned and peered down upon a barely-awake Fredrick.

“Let’s get some food, aye?” she rhetorically suggested.

She yawned cutely and then delivered a single swat to Fredrick’s crotch. Stella did not fuck around when it came to good food.

“GAH!” he groaned, lurching his upper half upward and grasping his nuts by reflex at the sharp pain that ebbed away as quickly as it came.

T’was a love-tap.

“The fuck was that for!?”

Stella stood upright and bounced a few times on her hooves to get more blood flowing through her. She then twirled once and delivered the most random pistol point to Fred that he had ever seen, winking all the while.

“Gotta wake up, ‘cuz no one eats ‘till we’re all at the table!’ Get yer cunt-ass up!”

Fredrick, however, was more than keen on falling asleep after the unjust treatment of his meat and two veg.

“Meh,” he huffed, rolling over.

Stella only smiled that devious, impish smile of hers; there was an easy remedy for his defiance.

“Sveta’s hungry as shit… ye want me to get Sveta back up in here?”

Fredrick was immediately drawn to the memories of when he first met her, and how he felt like she would bludgeon him for simply not following them to Stella’s room the moment he was called. As one who prided himself as a man of reason, he knew how to pick his battles.

“Please no…”

Stella was not convinced at all, and she rested her chin thoughtfully in the web of her thumb and index finger.

“Oh I think we need this… you and Sveta locked in me room with a sanded-down strapon…”

“Okay! Okay! I’m coming, fuck,” Fredrick acquiesced entirely.

Getting to his feet and stretching any remnant sleepiness from his body, he ran a hand through his hair to make it look modestly presentable after the acute case of bedhead he received. He then trudged out the door after Stella and closed it behind him, though not without incurring another patented ‘love slap’ right on the ass from his beautiful, ponytailed mare…

All with that cocky, fanged smile on her face.

“GAH! Goddamnit!” Fred yelped, grasping his left buttock.

“You loooove it~.”

11. Dinner and a Show

Simultaneously, four covers on four stone serving plates were drawn aside. The thick, heavy steam rose up from its confines, dissipating as it grasped for the ceiling. In the wake of its veil revealed the freshly cooked food for the family of four plus one extra human.

All five of them sat around the dining room table, and the multiple smells of delicious, unknown foods mixing together suddenly crowded the room in salivating goodness.

Fredrick sat naturally with Stella on his left and Sveta on his right, and he could only look on in awe as his next meal was beautifully arranged in front of him.

A technicolor display of pure artistic prowess that combined seemingly both appeal and practicality… a skill that only a cooking mother could ever hope to have. For a split second, Fredrick felt a small pang deep within his core as the whole getup reminded him of the family feasts his mother would ‘produce’ during special events.

However, these were promptly pushed by the wayside when Vona, aptly, gave the all clear.

“Righto, loves! Dig in, fer fucks sake before I stuff it up yer arses m’self!”

Sveta and Vampir took no qualm nor quarter in reaching for and loading up on their dishes of choice… but Fredrick was not entirely sure how to proceed.

To him, all looked amazing! What stopped him from diving right in was the lack of knowledge of whether he should start somewhere versus somewhere else.

Fred knew quite well that he’d be entering into one of the greatest food comas ever experienced by man in the next hour or so, but truth be told, he was gonna need the expertise of someone… or somepony more familiar with how to approach true batpony cuisine.

And he happened to have one of those sitting right next to him.

Fredrick’s indecisiveness did not go unnoticed by Stella, and she wrapped her arm around her inquisitive coltfriend and imparted a firm nuzzle to his cheek…

...along with an excited smile with her usual pearly whites on display.

With the garden-variety yet grandiose mannerisms she was known for, Stella was ready to, in kind, impart her wisdom.

“Alright Fred! Prepare yer dickholster tae taste how a good titwank feels. So we’ve got…”

She gestured to the first dish, directly in front of them, which looked exactly like thick-cut slices of pineapple, grilled, and drizzled in some unknown sauce… simply put.

“...Mum’s fire grilled pineapple a la ‘just fuck me face right now,’ with warm honey. Personally I like tae sprinkle a wee bit ‘o salt on top fer that salty-sweet flavor.”

Choice of name aside, Fredrick pensively considered the idea; he had never had any type of warm fruit before, but salty-sweet ‘cancellation’ was always something he enjoyed.

Perhaps to a fault, when it came to food, he would try anything once… and that had not historically worked in his favor. Besides, he loved pineapple, so he was confident that he’d share the same sentiment with this dish.

“Alright, that looks and sounds pretty damn good…”

Stella moved on in a counterclockwise fashion.

“This is a personal favorite o’ mine! Dad sometimes likes tae make his ‘Apple Salmon!’”

Fredrick blinked hard at that last word… did Stella just say what he thought she said?

“S-Salmon?” he begged, and just saying those words nearly had him froth at the mouth.

Naturally, meat was a lot harder to come by during his time in Equestria, so he had to settle for very rare occasions. Fish appeared to also be more socially acceptable to eat in pony society, so he opted for the healthiest and tastiest option when he could.

Further, it appeared that he had forgotten one little detail that Stella had expressed to him countless times: batponies occasionally delved in meat more as a delicacy rather than a staple.

Stella nodded, grinning widely.

“Yup! It’s baked, marinated in fresh applesauce… trust me love, it tastes so much better than it may sound.”

Vampir, Vona, and Sveta were only tangentially listening to the lovers’ conversation. Fredrick, on his end, only cared about one thing.

“Babe, you had me at ‘salmon.’”

Stella smiled that knowing half-smirk, accompanied by an almost sensual wink of her right eye.

“I made the silent request, knowin’ ye were dyin’ fer some good meat…”

She then thumbed toward her gorging sister, and continued in high spirits; careful emphasis was placed on certain words.

“Just like Sveta’s been dying fer some good meat fer the last two years.”

The teal coated Sabre sister raised her head and turned towards her uncaring older sibling, glaring at her with a mouth stuffed with pineapple.

“Well I’ll definitely be sampling that!” Fredrick declared.

And for Stella, there was no question about that in her mind.

“Yer goddamn fukkin’ right yer gonna ‘sample’ that! I requested that specifically fer you an’ if ya don’t devour it with me, I’ll put a fukkin’ tube down yer knob!” she threatened…

...then graced her soft lips upon Fred’s cheek, punctuating it all with a ‘love gnaw’ on the lower right part of his jaw.

“With love, of course!” she finished pointedly.

“...Fuggin’ better be with love, bitch,” Fredrick grumbled, earning a chortle out of his marefriend.

A smoother voice cut into the conversation from Fredrick’s right.

“D’awww… so perfect fer each other! So sweet!” Sveta squee’d shimmying her torso for added effect, along with the Sabre trademarked cocky smirk.

“It’s like the town cunt an’ the hopeless village virgin! How quaint!” she added.

Stella’s turn to glare over Fredrick and at her sister.

“Careful throwin’ ‘virgin’ around…” she warned. “Ya keep goin’ on like ye gettin’ exactly zero inches of rod per year and yer twat might seal shut, aye?”

Fredrick decided to begin shovelling some food onto his plate while it was still hot. Hilariously, both Vampir and Vona quietly urged him on in the process while the bellicose statements continued to fly between the two sisters.

And in the end Fred felt it would be best to begin stuffing himself with what was indeed ‘sex in his mouth’-tasting food… all as he listened to the Shakespeare-esque waterfall from his neighbors’ mouths in a barely comprehensible word salad.

“Better me twat seal shut than rust shut from how much ye fukkin’ spread yer flaps, slag!” Sveta countered.

She then thumbed toward Fredrick.

“Lettin’ that shit oxidize… does he fuckin’ know you’ve prolly got the fuckin’ Clop?”

Fredrick nearly coughed up his bite of perfectly cooked ‘just fuck my mouth.’

Ho-Ly Shit.

Stella rolled her eyes, finishing her bite of salmon before resting her cheek into her open palm, supported by her elbow. She cast her condescending gaze back to Sveta, and Fredrick was wise to move out of the figurative line of fire.

He did have to admit, Stella’s natural rasp added an extra bit of threatening undertone to her words that Sveta wasn’t entirely able to replicate.

“Oh yer so very fukkin’ witty, Svet’. Pity yer college education taught you fuck all on putting those udders of yours tae good use, or ya may’ve kept yer last prospects!”

Sveta nodded to nopony in particular, going back to feasting on her plate of precisely sanctioned food.

“Keep runnin’ yer gob; ya might grow out of yer trainin’ bra one day… so how ‘bout ya go back tae eatin’ yer food an’ thinkin’ self-massage’ll get ‘em out of a fuckin’ C-cup, aye?”

Stella rolled her eyes and faced forward, and Fredrick casually blocked out the raucous banter as he concentrated on the beautiful flavors.

“Whatever bitch I’m goin’ back tae eating my food,” Stella grumbled, then placed an arm tightly around Fredrick’s shoulders before exaggeratedly punctuating.

“...with my coltfriend enjoying himself with me and havin’ a wonderful time!” punctuated.

Sveta’s turn to widen and roll her eyes.

“Ahh yes, just parade him around like a diamond-studded dildo!”

“Ye could fukkin’ use one, love!”

Fredrick moaned once the salmon and a second serving of steamed vegetables hit his mouth with the pineapple. The mix of flavors he never would have considered in his natural life was a most welcome surprise.

“MMMM… this is really good, Vona and Vampir! Thank you both very much!”

The rulers of the household returned Fredrick’s gratitude and praise with gratitude of their own, both synchronously nodding and smiling at their human guest.

Vona waved her hand dismissively with an accompanying ‘pshh!’

“No trouble at all, Fredrick!” she declared. “Always happy to entertain a coltfriend of one o’ my beautiful daughters… though admittedly I wasn’t expectin’ some thin coatless lookin’ fuck like you,” she rattled off, but quickly realized what she said and produced an awkward giggle.

“No offense, love…”

Far from it being taken, for Fredrick. Stella trained him from a fledgeling stage of their friendship to take swear words as they were: merely parts of speech.

The fact that Vona spoke so freely and openly with him, even when they first met, had to have been a great sign for him, too!

“No worries at all! I welcome the banter!”

He chuckled along with Mom, but that was shushed when Vampir weighed in with his own words, clearing his throat and letting the pure essence of ‘Scottish’ waft delicately over the table. Fred could’ve sworn that every time Vampir opened his mouth, there was a soft bagpipe theme that would layer behind his words like some fantasy-world adventure game.

“I must say, laddie… ye were definitely not what we expected when Stella wrote home to us constantly about you,” he admitted, perhaps a little too sheepishly.

All the while, the background banter only seemed to escalate, though the three now-conversing individuals paid almost no mind to the friendly fray of sisters.

“How about you shut yer fukkin’ mouth and eat a dick!” Sveta bellowed, hands clutching her face as her irritation bridled over.

Clearly her banter game was a bit rusty, and Stella was quick to capitalize.

“Don’t fuckin’ project yer desires on me, cunt! Maybe if ye weren’t such a little prude asshole with a zipped up fud ye’d score some schlong, fer shit’s sake, mare!”

Fredrick’s curiosity was piqued instead by Vampir’s statement. He had known that Stella obviously wrote home about him; how would they know that they wanted to meet him so badly otherwise?

But that’s not what interested him… deep down, he felt there was more to that and a burning desire festered within his core—perhaps just to feel good about himself—to find out exactly how much Stella ‘talked him up,’ as it were.

He raised his right eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? She tell you how much of a ‘raging homosexual’ and an ‘endearing, shaven twat’ I can be?” Fredrick questioned with another lighthearted chuckle.

Vona and Vampir loosed hearty giggles and outright laughter respectively, and thus far, Fredrick felt that the atmosphere was quantifiably less tense than when he first met everypony at once. He was starting to feel right at home, though he was ever cautious to make sure he didn’t step on any landmines.

But, as he had come to find out on numerous occasions, Fredrick’s life in Equestria was full of surprises, and this still held perfectly true when both parents shook their heads at the human’s hypothesis.

“Maybe just a wee bit,” Vona admitted. She then giggled into her hand. “There were certainly a few erm… creative bits of language that made us so proud of our little girl,” she said dreamily.

Vampir, running his fingers to slick his mane up and back, picked up where his wife left off.

“Hehe, I happened to agree! Stella has always made us proud parents with how independent she is… both her and Sveta actually!” he added with a bright, fatherly smile.

This time, he let a wave of nostalgia overtake his features.

“It warms me heart as a father tae see his daughters to grow into upstanding, strappin’, young, powerful, bawbag bustin’ mares in their own rites, aye?” he added, bidding Vona her opinion.

“OI! Don’t make me get outta this fukkin’ chair and break all four of its legs off in yer unused bonehole, ya prude bitch!”

“I’d like tae see ye FUKKIN’ TRY ya slack, titless dwarf!”

Vona was quick to agree, and with a vehement nod and bright, Sabre-standard smile to boot.

“Aye. Beautiful, kind, generous young mares. Cannae ask fer more as parents.”

Fredrick could do little to help contain the entertained smile that emblazoned itself on his face.

Best. Mom and Dad. Ever.

His experience with the ‘rents of a couple of his other love interests were… not exactly the greatest, considering one of them he got a sword pointed at him.

A sword. Right at his dick. True story.

“Mm. But this time,” Vampir commanded the attention yet again. “She was much more of a fuckin’ pansy in her writing, I honestly didn’t think it was her at first!”

Vona seemed inclined to agree, the older Stella-clone chuckling at the memory.

“Aye. Thought me daughter’d gone soft on us!” she joked. “Was about tae catch the first train tae Canterlot and beat her arse m’self! May not have all that fancy training o’ hers but I can still break my hoof off in her twat.”

“So aye,” Vampir cut back in with a nod. “Turns out, she was just… taken,” he followed up, punctuating with a prideful, knowing smirk. All of it was directed at Fredrick.

“She really likes you,” Vona added, though not in a sense of merely stating the obvious.

Those words carried weight.

Stella careened herself into the discussion, throwing both her arms around her coltfriend’s neck and pressing her cheek into his. Apparently, she and Sveta were done slinging shit at each other for the time being.

“Of course I do!” she exclaimed with an eternal, bright smile, then proceeded to squeeze his cheeks much like he did to her up in her room. “He’s just so likeably poofy I wanna kill him!”

Fredrick just stared blankly back at her parents while Stella had her way with him, poking his cheeks, squeezing them, and just generally manipulating his face to her will. Vona struggled not to laugh, while Vampir easily got the message that this was what Fred was dealing with daily with his daughter.

Poor bastard.

While Stella only regarded him with an innocent, ever-confident smile and fluttered eyelashes, Fredrick smirked as his next thoughts materialized.

“We’re not gonna become one of those couples, right?” he asked, chuckling. “The ones fawning over every little fuckin’ thing they do with each other?”

He could see the twinkle in her eyes in conjunction with her ears having perked up. Stella cleared her throat and let her voice fall much too ‘girly’ from her mouth.

“Oh baby no… I wouldn’t let me little baby shnookums...” she squeezed and peppered his cheeks with kisses. “...get like that with me! He’s too handsome and a sweetie!”

Fredrick pursed his lips, also hiding his laughter as her parents and Sveta immediately became a measure more disturbed by that display; Stella never failed to pull through.

Further, what would be the point of it all if he did not partake either?

“Well, thank you honeybun,” he contributed, and Fred could almost see Stella retch at that little pet name.

He stabbed some of his salmon with his fork and presented it in front of her face.

“You look hungry baby… you wanna little bite of my foodies?” he asked, wiggling the fork a bit.

Stella wasn’t about to be one-upped. Suppressing a hefty giggle, she continued to let liquid word-vomit spew forth from her maw.

“Awwww yer soooo sweet cutie pie!” she replied with a high-pitch. “But nae, I couldn’t take yer food, hunnie… Besides, I like when me boy’s nice an’ healthy so I can run me hands all over his big strong muscles.”

Stella ran her hands over his chest for emphasis, and Fredrick nearly lost it.

“PFFFT! N-No, I just try to keep in shape for my beautiful, sexy, bombshell of a mare. Tell ya what, let’s eat it together, my golden-eyed princess!” he suggested so terribly, that Stella agreed at an instant.

“Ooooh baby boo you really know how tae make me smile…” she said, batting her eyelashes yet again as Fredrick placed the fork-stabbed salmon between them.

They then locked their eyes together and with great precision, opened their mouths to both take half of the salmon that stood between their respective pairs of lips.

Reading each other’s mind, their mouths continued further after claiming their shares, and fused together in what was undoubtedly the most sarcastic kiss they ever shared.

Both of them vocalized said kiss as loudly as possible as they chewed their food.

“MMMMMMMMMWAAHH!”

Stella licked her lips.

“Mmm… thank you, boo thang,” she uttered the first thing on her mind.

Fredrick, however, neared his breaking point.

“BAHAHA Did you just fucking call me ‘boo thang?!’”

Somepony, however, had reached their breaking point. Sveta slammed both her fists on the table.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, CAN YAE BOTH SHUT THE FUCK UP, PLEASE!” she assailed the two of them for their fuckery, clutching the sides of her face.

“JUST HAND ME THE FUCKIN’ ROPE WHY DON’T YE?!”

And with that, neither party could hold it anymore, and Fredrick and Stella bust out into some of the most gut-clenching, combined guffaw that either of them had experienced together since…

...since probably two days ago.

They laughed a lot together.

Stella’s evil cackling devolved into strained, high pitched whimpers as she struggled for breath. She clutched her stomach desperately as she leaned into Fredrick, who was by no means in any better straits.

Vona and Vampir also looked on after that horrific display of over-fluff, and were absolutely revolted.

“I should really smack the shit outta both of ye,” the former remarked, eyes narrowed.

Vampir slammed a balled-up fist on the table, shaking its rested contents mightily.

“Goddamnit all, ye two’ll act like a normal fuckin’ couple this instant or I'll give ya a Thestral Divorce!”

Fredrick hadn't a shred of an idea what that meant, but felt otherwise that this would probably be the best place to stop.

So, the dynamic duo calmed down, but that didn't stop the two lovebirds from damn-near shivering in their seats from residual laughter.

Fredrick stealthily (though failing miserably) leaned next to Stella’s ear, only to whisper:

“My adorable little flower…”

Stella went into a snickering fit at an instant, complete with extra adorable Scottish bat squeaks. To that, she countered with:

“Babyboo…”

Fredrick’s high-pitched stifled whimper was all that needed to be said. What had also been discovered was that when the two would laugh at something particularly stupid, their laughter was contagious… but only to each other. As one came to reasonably expect, this led to mild, fleeting chortles devolving into yet another display of hyena-like cackling.

Neither of them even had that much alcohol either.

And at that same moment, Vona had an epiphany.

“Y’know, sweetie,” she addressed her husband. “I think I seen know why she likes ‘im so much… they’re just as retarded as the other!”

She then playfully pouted, then smirked mischievously as she extended a playful jab toward Fredrick.

“And ‘ere I thought ye were the one to rein her in…” she lamented blithely.

Stella decided to take this one on his behalf, draping her left arm around him once more and interrupting.

“Oh he’s got me reined in, mum…” she countered. “But the fucker thinks I’m leashed fer my safety… or that he’s the one holdin’ it!” Stella added with a punctuated, throaty giggle.

Fredrick deadpanned, then nudged her away with his shoulder. He placed a bite of pineapple in his mouth and spoke his next words after a quick munch.

“...Fuckin’ bet you like being on that leash, huh?” he said out of instinct… though perhaps a bit too loudly while not consulting his uncharacteristically liberal caution.

Sveta silently choked on her food at the comment, and Stella did what she did best when confronted innuendo-laden ripostes:

She purred.

Vampir swirled his oddly large glass of hard liquor and took a swig, downing a third of it. He addressed Vona with a sideways tilt of his muzzle.

“She gets it from you, y’know.”

The matriarch was less-than enlightened by her dear hubby’s proclamation.

“Of course she fuckin’ gets it from me, ya daft fuck! Sure as shit ain’t gettin’ that adventurous side from you, I can say that much!”

Vampir accepted that lying down, evident by him tilting his head once in consideration and continuing to gulp down his drink.

Stella leaned into Fredrick, who was doing his very best to not laugh anymore; his abs couldn’t rightly take it.

“Welcome to me awesome family, love.”

Sveta leaned in from Fredrick’s left with an equally disturbing smile.

“Feel free tae stay as long as ya like! We don’t guarantee yer sanity, though… or the state of yer bollocks.”

In an odd turn of events, Vampir and Vona exchanged a two-second, knowing glance before turning back to the trio.

“Y’know, I think we need to bring out the Photo Album fer Fredrick here…” Vona suggested.

While Fredrick returned Vona’s devilish grin with one of curiosity, Stella and Sveta’s dropped with the ferocity and gradual, impending doom of a falling bomb.

Simultaneously.

“That… That's not fuckin’ necessary, right Sveta?” Stella asked, almost pleadingly.

Her sister affirmed the same sentiment right away, vehemently shaking her head.

“Nope! No need fer that, mum. Not at all!”

Vona, however, was not convinced in the slightest.

“Oh I think we do~...” she sang out, twirling a finger in one of the locks of her mane.

She then turned to Vampir.

“Love, could you go grab it please?”

Stella stood ramrod. Sveta followed suit.

“Dad, you’ll do no such thing!”

“Daddy, please don’t…”

Vampir agonizingly slowly got to his hooves and pushed his chair in with a whistle. The then exited the dining room with a smug canter.

Fredrick watched the two Sabre sisters, enraptured by how both had throbbing veins visible on their foreheads while they fought to do something to prevent the inevitable.

The two shared nervous looks amongst themselves and Sveta raised a fist threateningly.

“I’ll fuckin’... I-I’ll fukkin’ firebomb this motherfucker if Fredrick sees a single page!” her rhetoric came in an uncharacteristically shaky tone.

Vona wasn't fazed.

“Nae, ya won't. I'll firebomb you outta university, ye little mingelicker.”

With that, Sveta spent all her ammunition. And she frantically turned to Stella while Fredrick was fidgeting with excitement.

If they were reacting like this, who knew all the dirt he could collect on both of them!

Sveta whispered:

“The fuck do we do?!”

Stella shrugged, emphatically shaking her head.

“Fuck if I know! Would ye mind terribly if I killed ‘em?”

Vampir was quick to dispel that when he entered back into the dining room with a large photo album under his arm.

“Nope!”

Effortlessly, he cleared out some empty plates and set the literal tome down with a crushing thud, one which rattled the table, the accompanying plateware, and the foundation of the house.

It was a simple, leather-looking book, though clearly not actual leather for obvious reasons. It was hand-stitched and bound, and its only adornment on its front cover was an engraving of the Sabre coat of arms.

Vona reached over the table and eagerly beckoned Fredrick over.

“Oi! Come, come! Get a look at yer precious marefriend and her sis in their younger days!”

There was no conceivable way that Fred could say no to that. With a sudden pep in his step, he bounded out of his seat… much too quick for Stella to grab the hem of his shirt and drag him back.

In fact, as Fredrick squeezed in between Vampir and Vona, the Sabre sisters watched helplessly as he was subjected to the very first picture upon opening:

Stella as a toddler.

Fredrick’s eyes widened comically and his jaw hit the floor. That special feeling of seeing something he probably was not supposed to was aplenty… that light-hearted swelling in his stomach and face as his cheeks fought to contain his giddy smile.

“Oh. My. Fuck…”

Clear as day, there sat Stella as she was well over two decades ago, on the sofa with her little shorts and a baggy t-shirt. Her hair was certainly much shorter than normal, and it was a little spiky in the rear as it had not formed its now-distinctive ponytail shape. She held some odd form of a toy in her right hand all the while.

But yet, despite those wide, golden pools that seemed to have gotten somewhat larger with age, that iconic smile was evident from her very humble beginnings.

“I knooooow, right?” Vona concurred. “Back around the time her looks peaked! She was a cutie!”

“That’s fuckin’ cute!” Fredrick agreed wholeheartedly.

Present-day Stella was much less amused than her coltfriend. Her face colored profusely, her fists balled up, and her thoughts dwelled over what exactly constituted the threshold of legally defined ‘domestic violence’ and its alleged implications.

“Fredrick…” she seethed through clenched teeth.

She then pointed as he moved to turn to the next page.

“Oi! Fuckin’... don’t fuckin’ do it, cunt! I’ll rip yer fuckin’ wang off!”

Fredrick ignored her entirely as he did just that.

Sveta, on the other hand, was colored much less impressed with Stella’s lack of imperiousness.

“Great hold you have over ‘im,” the sarcasm dripped from her mouth.

The next picture was a larger one, though this came as little surprise since it was of both a younger Stella and Sveta… perhaps a little younger than ten. Both were dressed in frilly pink dancing dresses complete with tutu and tiara, all while striking fierce poses.

Their distinctive mane styles had taken form by that point.

Fredrick, by way of reflex, covered his mouth and he nearly squealed at the slight. His marefriend and her sister could only look on helplessly as their parents devalued both of their intimidation factors by the second.

“Oh fuck me…” Stella exhaled under her breath, clutching her face as she began to pace.

Sveta was in no better straits.

“HOLY SHIT THAT’S AMAZING!” Fred burst out laughing. “But hey! You look good in pink, Stel’!” Fred shot her a pistol point and a wink.

“Shut the fuck up, Fredrick!”

“I fuckin’ hate every single one of you!” Sveta weighed in.

It was Vampir’s turn to laugh at the reminiscence.

“Aye… I remember that day! First recital I think, hmm?”

Vona nodded.

“Aye! They fuckin’ killed it, too!”

Fredrick eagerly turned the next page and, to both the sisters’ collective horrors, there lay a picture of both of them, approximately ten and seven respectively, though Sveta was clearly catching up to Stella in height by this point. Both were on the ground bawling their eyes out…

…drenched in petroleum jelly.

Fredrick did not want to incur any more potential wrath from Stella (and possibly Sveta) in the near future, so he attempted with every fiber of his being to limit his impending wheezing, but to little avail. The picture was just so… perfect; so iconic in how globs of the all-purpose moisturizer had matted clumps of their coat together. Their clothes were beyond ruin; beyond salvage.

Further, the evidence existed all around them in various piles and multiple empty containers.

So, he figured the safest way to allow his crippling laughter at his marefriend’s expense to manifest, was naught but shaking his head with a profound smirk.

“I swear…” he commented. “These are absolute gold; they explain so much, now that I think of it.”

Stella and Sveta had slunk back into their chairs, adopting identical, slouched postures and crossed arms over their chests as they fumed in quiet misery. Once that picture came into view, both covered their faces with their hands.

However, the latter did not take too kindly to Fredrick’s less-than-veiled sarcasm.

“Fuuuuck off! Hope Stella castrates you, ya sick fuck!”

Vona leaned up to whisper in Fredrick’s ear.

“She likes you, believe me!”

“Well, let’s see how much they both like me when we turn the page…” he mused.

“Well,” Vona began anew, flipping through the album with a purpose. “How about… this one?” she asked.

In view was now a picture of the two sisters sitting on a sandy beach, and they looked aged up to about twenty and seventeen.

Stella looked rather annoyed at the candid picture, but still looked amazing in a plain, drab, black bikini. Her army career had not been in full swing yet, as Fred noted that her muscle mass had not gotten to where it was now. She was filled out, certainly… but not as she was today.

What also took his eye was Sveta who was much more inclined to take such a photo; her right hand and two fingers were extended out in a typical victory fashion.

What drew his attention was the slightly more conservative, but ever fitted black bikini that matched her sisters. By this time, however, her svelte figure was much more prominent, and the top halves of her breasts were on proud display for whoever might have viewed the photo.

Fredrick would lie to no one at this point. Sveta had nice tits.

Jesus.

“Goddamn! Both of you look great, here!” Fredrick commented, possibly ogling both sets of photogenic boo—mares.

“Flattery’ll get ye nowhere today, Fredrick! Ya skinny-ass piece o’ whale shite!” Stella voiced in her usual, pleasant tone.

“Oh come on mom, seriously!?” Sveta protested, a little more than peeved that her ‘assets’ were being shown off like nothing. “Just fuckin’ take a photo of me wearin’ fuck all and hand it tae Fredrick here, why don’t ye?”

Vona rolled her eyes and exaggeratedly directed her face towards her youngest daughter.

“Yer in a fuckin’ swimsuit on the beach, ya flacid tackle! It’s just a beach picture; Fredrick is a respectable stallion. Don’t be like Stella when she gets photos taken in a dress!”

Stella leaned in to a rather peeved Sveta and added to her plight with a tone that would be no-less expected of a close sister:

“He’s too busy ogling me tae ogle you, mate. Soothe yer boobs.”

Sveta deadpanned, meeting her sister’s gaze as the next page was turned in the photo album.

“Really? That’s supposed to make me fuckin’ feel better?”

Stella shrugged.

“Wasn’t tryin’ tae make ye feel better at all, really, so… fuck yerself?”

Sveta rolled her eyes yet again and resumed her less-than-enthralled position, further curling up into a ball of embarrassment and hate.

“Fuck off.”

A few more pictures were presented to Fredrick in all of their glory (or infamy, depending on whom one spoke to on the matter). Each one elicited no less than a hefty laugh out of the human as well as affording reminiscing sights of the parents of the household.

And to be fair, Stella and Sveta did enjoy seeing some particular pictures that they forgot even existed. Of course, this often led to other ‘engagements’ between the two of them.

As each picture had consecutively less and less effect on the Sabre Sisters in terms of morale reduction, Stella realized that she, in fact, could take control at this point.

Her parents had had all the fun they were going to have, and in her mental conception of diminishing marginal returns, it would be rather easy to bound out of her chair and pluck Fredrick away.

So, that’s exactly what she did upon Vampir turning the page to a picture of the two of them. She and her sister were posing all-funky as teens in midriff tops.

Even worse, she never remembered once owning a midriff back then.

She glided swiftly on her hooves and in a figurative drive-by of graceful proportions, yanked Fredrick out of his safe space between her conniving parents.

He nearly gagged as the front of his shirt collar constricted against his throat, as his marefriend essentially picked him up by the scruff with all her cute batpony strength.

“OKAY! That’s enough of a show fer ye, dickhead! Let’s get the fuck outta here now aye??”

Sveta was quick to fall into step, and at this point neither of their parents contested the decision to leave abruptly.

Both, instead, opted to giggle maniacally at having successfully embarrassed their spawn for what was certainly not the first, nor the last time in their lives.

And, in Fredrick’s credible opinion, they were damn good at it!

So good in fact, that he even had to offer his protests as he was literally being dragged from under both of his arms out the front door.

“What the fuck, man?? Do you mind?” he faux-sternly questioned.

Stella’s response was immediate, if oddly sounding like an acquiescence.

“I’ll give ye a blowjob later,” she stated.

Blowjobs were pretty cool; in fact, Fredrick mulled around in his mind that blowjobs were, in fact, quite some of the dankest things a man could come by in life, second only to memes.

While most would have taken the pittance and accepted their fate, Fredrick’s months-long, seemingly-lifetime relationship with Stella dictated that his response be anything but acceptance.

“But I didn’t want a blowjob…?”

Sveta had the answer to that in a swift riposte.

“Then we’ll both crush yer fuckin’ bollocks in a fuckin’ hydraulic press until they look like watercolor blotches, ya cunt!” she spoke with an extra ‘oomph’ in her grip on Fred.

Not that that didn’t sound appetizing, but Fredrick figured that his fate and destiny for the near future would be decided by his new entourage for the night.

So, he merely shrugged.

Stella angled her head back over her left shoulder as they hauled their helpless human company out the front door, and her rushed farewell summed up their family dynamic quite succinctly:

“Dinner was lovely, Mum and Dad! Love you lots! We’ll be back later!”

“Love you, Mum and Dad!” Sveta also called back, shoving Fredrick through the door with Stella’s help.

“Love you too, sweeties!” Vampir waved back, finally closing the family photo album.

Vona, however, had some stern words for both of her daughters as Sveta got ahold of the door handle. With an extended index finger, she promptly reminded:

“No blowjobs after twenty-three hundred!”

While Stella emitted a single blast of laughter from outside, Sveta took up the mantle of response with paletable sarcasm:

“Right, mum… I’ll just follow yer shinin’ example, aye?” she rolled her eyes. “Fuuuck~ off.”

She closed the door behind her.

[Crescent’s Club]

Batponies were interesting creatures.

Well, at least to Fredrick they were… or maybe just Northern Range thestrals were the most riveting of the bunch.

But as Fredrick glanced around uneasily with a beer bottle in his hand, he had a hard time comprehending how Stella’s species survived.

This was reinforced as he sat on a barstool between Stella and Sveta in their go-to hangout place in their hometown. He occasionally had to dodge a flying drink of some sort; one that would promptly shatter into a million pieces as it impacted the wall.

He was also certain that he heard no less than two fights going on simultaneously… assuming he was hearing properly through the bombarding white noise of raucous chatter, laughter, and body contact.

Such was life in Crescent’s Club. When in Thestralshire, do as the Scottish Batpones do, after all.

Defining features of Fred’s surroundings were scarce and far between, as the entire club was shrouded in a veil of comfortable darkness, interrupted only by deep-blue hues of light crystals.

As batponies preferred, after all.

These were usually shined on the walls to give some semblance of form, but the most stand-out feature
was just how everypony’s eyes were nearly glowing in said darkness. This was not an uncommon occurrence with Stella; that’s how thestrals worked, after all. But the visual effect of multi-colored pairs mingling loudly with one another was kinda surreal.

A bar existed on the wall right next to the single-door entrance while on the complete opposite side was a stage for live music and karaoke; currently there was a small band that sounded like they were playing drunken, Scottish shanties.

Fredrick found himself gently grooving and tapping his shoe against the bar step as he sipped his drink.

Plus, this whole ‘one door entrance and exit’ thing was raising and violently shaking the ‘fire hazard’ flags in Fred’s head. That, or he just was feeling mildly claustrophobic with all these damned ponies around him, plus the natural humidity.

Fredrick lost count of how many times a wing smacked into the back of his head, despite the (debatably) polite, accented apologies.

Another bottle shattered right behind him on the floor—causing him to nearly jump out of his seat—and obnoxious laughter followed.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” he blurted out, shielding his head from possible harm.

But rather than sympathy, he received laughter with an accompanying hug around his shoulders from his marefriend.

Stella then lay her head across his shoulder, giggling in such a way that could only convey the modest consumption of alcohol.

“Oh quit bein’ a pussy! Just relax and enjoy a night out with two hot mares on yer arms!” she alluded with the tiniest lick of his cheek.

Sveta poked her head around from the other side, certainly soberer than her older sister.

“Aye, but I ain’t lickin’ yer fuckin’ cheek, mate,” she remarked, instead delivering unto him a pat on the shoulder.

Fredrick chuckled.

“I wouldn’t expect you to, Svet’,” he said, and to that, the mare in question tilted the brim of her bottle toward him in a show of jesting respect.

The two tapped their drinks together with a satisfying clink before Stella opened her mouth again.

“Besides!” she began anew.

She took another swig of her brewery vat-sized beer stein before she continued with a most reassuring tone.

“We’re here tae have fun! No responsibilities, no bullshit, nothin’!” Stella declared, punctuating with a horrifying belch that Cthulhu itself would be proud of.

In fact, there were scattered cheers and whistles at Stella’s (by Fredrick’s standards) admittedly impressive display of manliness… to which she gave a small salute in the general direction of said cheers.

He beamed at her and cuddled her head against his shoulder.

“Niiiiiiiiiiiiiceee.”

“Cheers love!”

Sveta tapped into the small moment they were sharing.

“Oi, no love fer me?” she questioned, fluttering her eyelashes at both of them.

With a jokingly lewd expression, she snaked her hand around the other side of Fredrick’s shoulders, but Stella knew exactly what she was up to.

“Didn’t I tell ye there’d be no sharin’? Go find yer own!” Stella batted her sister’s hand away, Fredrick chuckling at their little display.

“Fuck it,” Sveta added. “You fuckers enjoy the circle-whack, I’mma top off this pint an’ go set up with the crew, aye?”

Fredrick raised his right eyebrow, curiosity and slight eagerness overtaking him as Sveta wholly implied that she would be performing with what was her ‘band’ so to speak…

...at least, this was only a speculation, though one founded in some measure of fact as the mare had mentioned in passing that she left her electric guitar in the care of her mates.

Not that it mattered to him anyway; he was always down for some ripshit guitar licks; and if it came from someone as talented as the youngest Sabre, then so be it.

Stella raised her glass high in a wordless affirmation to her sister, and with the ensuing lull in conversation, Fredrick took the time to stretch is arms out some.

Unfortunately as Sveta was about to leave, in so stretching out, Fred made the mistake of bumping his right fist into another unfortunate patron’s drink.

It spilled. Everywhere.

And Fredrick’s pupils shrank to pinpricks the moment his knuckles made contact with the periphery of what felt like cool glass. This was just what he needed, after all.

He sighed and turned around, more than a bit embarrassed at his klutziness and lack of manners.

“Shit! Sorry ‘bout that dude!” he delivered his genuine apology.

But instead of a normal-looking ‘Scotspony,’ greeting him with a mildly peeved look, the rather tall, built specimen staring back at him with a severe glower and lit cigarette in his mouth was what greeted him.

Fredrick suddenly felt a tad smaller, but was certain that his little overture would suffice, as it was an honest mistake. Hell, he’d even replace the drink! It didn’t help either that both Stella and Sveta had to cover their mouths to stifle their impending laughter.

The unfortunate stallion tossed his now somewhat emptier glass aside, letting it crash onto the floor, though most of the patrons around the area barely paid any mind to what was unfolding.

“The fuck was that for, mate?” said stallion growled.

Much to Fredrick’s chagrin, perhaps his apology would not suffice.

Still, he had no shortage of ripostes to come back to; he felt he could handle himself if need be, even against the prospect of somepony that was a fair more than a few smidges larger than him.

So, he turned on his stool to face the pale-gray batpony stallion in full.

“It was an accident. I own that shit completely; my bad. Can I replace your drink?”

No response came… well, no verbal response, that was. Fredrick did not even realize that the large right hand of his visitor had gripped firmly onto his t-shirt, threatening to drag him off the stool seat and onto the floor.

Being truthful, despite the sudden bout of adrenaline and apprehensiveness coursing through his veins as he was nearly hefted up off his feet, this would not have been the first time he was in any sort of… altercation.

And as Fred was promptly tossed off the chair, lost his balance, and fell hard on his ass with a hiss of pain, he oddly felt the term ‘kerfuffle’ was a better description.

He was brought back to that one time where he actually did have to punch someone (and get horrifically counter-punched) in front of one of his ex-girlfriends; he felt this would be another repeat scenario.

‘Repeat’ would have been a term used loosely, as with the larger build of this brute of a stallion, he’d probably end up with his sphincter inside out and laying in an alley somewhere.

Though as Fredrick shuffled to his feet ready to hold his own like a goddamn man who was attacked first, he overlooked one crucial detail about his predicament:

The two aggressive thestral mares who accompanied him this evening; both of whom had stood ramrod out of their seats and bore rather sudden, feral expressions.

One of those mares happened to be Fred’s marefriend.

Oops!

“Oi, OI!” Stella roared, placing her right hand on the offending stallion’s shoulder and turning him forcefully on his hooves toward her.

He didn’t look like he was in any position to cede ground, either.

“None ‘o yer fuckin’ concern, slag!” he barked in return, harshly drawing his arm out of her grasp.

Stella trot right in front of the mauve-coated, silver-eyed stallion. She had to genuinely look up at him to meet his uncaring eyes with her pools of controlled anger.

“You place mah lovable bastard back on the stool where ya found ‘im, or I’ll push yer fuckin’ shit back up yer ass and out yer mouth, you cunt!” she roared.

Even Fredrick was genuinely surprised at how aggressively that came out.

It was then Sveta’s turn to weigh in with a snarl to compete with her sister’s. Both pairs of fists were balled up tightly.

“Stel’, you rip his fuckin’ cock off an’ I’ll punch that fuckin’ mare’s-brand fag right down his fuckin’ throat, aye?”

Awww lawdy it’s gonna get weird!

Fredrick had gotten to his feet by now, dusted himself off, and attempted what he could to wrest control of the situation; while he wouldn’t shy away from it, the more risk-averse portion of him would rather avoid needless confrontation and injuries if it was at all possible… especially to Stella.

“Stella! It’s alright, I got this babe,” he reassured her, hands raised and outstretched.

Stella paid him absolutely no mind.

In her narrowed eyes, all she saw was somepony overreacting egregiously to what was a harmless, admittedly hilariously embarrassing moment for her coltfriend.

She had absolutely no intention of letting Fredrick come to any harm while he was under her wing and her guidance this evening with her sister… or this week, or anytime, actually.

“Aye, Svet. Sounds like a great fuckin’ plan. Put it out on his fuckin’ prostate while yer at it,” she suggested, cracking her knuckles.

Suddenly, the nameless stallion had lost a bit of his trademark Northern thestral aggressiveness when faced with two oddly gorgeous mares who genuinely seemed ready to try and beat him down.

He backed off just a tad.

“Alright you fuckers may be crazy but I’m not fightin’ two fuckin’ mares over some retarded sod,” he gestured to Fredrick, though his expression became much more threatening.

Fred rolled his eyes, then nodded unimpressed.

Figures.

The stallion continued:

“But I have no fuckin’ problem hitting mares… don’t make this a fuckin’ problem, aye, ye twats?” he delivered his ultimatum.

Stella righted her posture, stretched out both sides of her neck with tilts of her head, and she huffed.

With a most innocent tone that belied her true nature, she replied with a fluttering of her eyelashes:

“Promise?”

Fredrick’s eyes were not quick enough to discern the exact moment when Stella’s right fist slammed into the stallion’s diaphragm; with an underhanded punch so fierce, the stallion fell to his knees.

Once the air completely evacuated out of his poor, spasming upper body, the guardsmare drove her heel right onto his chest and forced him onto his back with all of her might.

Sveta instantly joined the skirmish with a single, hefty stomp onto the already categorically decimated stomach of the poor instigator...

…all before dumping the entire contents of a new drink onto his face, thoroughly soaking him and nearly waterboarding him.

“DRINK IT! DRINK IT ALL YA DIRTY SLUT!”

Fredrick just stood there… and that’s all he could really do, actually.

His eyes were as wide as they had ever been, while his brows had narrowed simultaneously as he tried to confirm the reality he was experiencing.

He was also debating whether he felt the hard-wood floor against the underside of his jaw.

One last, brutal kick by Stella was driven home into the former offender’s crotch; he was nearly unable to vocalize a pained groan due to lack of air in his lungs.

Fredrick was certain he had just witnessed a murder.

Though, he curiously appeared to be the one reacting the most shocked at the ‘kerfuffle’-turned-shitfight. The three skirmishing had attracted a fair audience, but only in passing… as if they were watching street performers.

After that final blow was struck to the sacred trouser snake, Stella stood over the downed stallion’s chest (Sveta off to the side and ready to break his jaw with her hooves). She then gripped him by his soaked shirt and brought his pristine, though tear-marred, eternally cringing and whimpering face up to her rage-filled eye-level.

And with that soundless snarl that Fredrick had often found cute in more docile situations, she simply had one thing to add:

“Listen here, ye bag of fermented cow spunk,” she spat.

“If you even fuckin’ blink in my coltfriend’s direction, I’ll cram me fist so far up yer bunghole of a loose arse, I’ll wear yer stomach as a fuckin’ mitten.”

She gripped the front of his muzzle.

“Then, I’m gonna rip yer fuckin’ meat an’ two-veg off, wear it as a strap-on and peg your fuckin’ face with it, you cunt! Can ye handle it?!” she concluded her very real threat with her signature bollocking tone.

There was no resistance from him… nor even an answer. Fredrick almost felt bad for the dude.

Almost.

That aforementioned lack of response, however didn’t sit well with Sveta. At all.

She knelt down and got right in his face.

“SHE ASKED ‘CAN YE FUCKIN’ HANDLE IT’ YA POOFY CHICKEN FUCKER!” she yelled in kind.

Fredrick pursed his lips and burned into his brain this very image: a strong, handsome, physically fit stallion that was now physically and mentally broken... with two gorgeous mares looking down on him ready to kill.

The two sets of cleavage that had inadvertently been placed in his face were no antidote to the multitude of levels of pain he was enduring right now.

Sometimes, Fredrick realized on a whim why he cherished their relationship in the oddest ways.

But this situation bothered him on another level or two… and he made a mental note to have a few words with Stella later tonight.

The stallion produced a weak, yet full-hearted nod.

Satisfied with his semblance of a response, Stella released his torso, allowing him to flop back onto the ground and writhe in his own misery on his lonesome.

She and Sveta stepped away and, with some measure of care, brought Fredrick from his perfectly-standing position and back to the bar, where they placed another drink in front of him.

Fredrick wasn’t without his compulsions, but he did have some questions.

“So—thank you both, by the way; you really didn’t have to. But, heh, was that all necessary?” he questioned, gripping his new beer bottle.

Stella only had a simple answer once her elastic smile bounced back to its norm. She then held her drink out towards her coltfriend and her sister.

“Because nopony fucks with you when I’m around. That’s pretty much it… now cheers all of us!”

She raised her glass high amongst the three of them.

“To a fuckin’ hell of a week ahead of us! May the tossers be few an’ the times be great!”

“Aye tae that!” Sveta yelled brightly, also extending her elixir.

And then there left Fredrick, who in a second’s bout of thinking considered everything that had happened in the span of the last two minutes:

From how Stella went to being social with everyone, to getting tipsy with him, to laying on him and being generally physical, to quite literally beating the shit out of someone with the aid of Sveta.

Right now, he could not have been happier to have a marefriend that cared about him enough to physically rip somepony’s masculinity out of them… for his sake.

And while he would still be sharing these words of concern to her, by the same token, Fredrick realized that he really could not have had a better marefriend at his side. The two of them were virtually indestructible as a pair.

Rope in Sveta as was seen previously, and hell would have no fury like the combined scorn and mouths of these two Lovecraftian-esque beauties.

“Fuck yeah!” he added with his own smile to compete. Both sisters brightened as he joined his drink with theirs with a mighty ‘clink.’

“I trust you two’ll show me a good time!”

Stella did well to capitalize on those words that Fredrick set himself perfectly up for. She bit her lower lip with one of her fangs and stared through the veil of her lashes.

“Oh trust me… there’ll be plenty of good times. I don’t rightly guarantee if they won’t be messy, either…” she alluded, twirling a single lock of her hair around her finger.

Fredrick knew exactly what she meant, evident by his rather sarcastic stare, angling his head towards his lovable marefriend with a cocked eyebrow… who in turn merely laughed her tipsy laugh at both of their expenses.

“The fact that you’re somehow more overtly perverted than me is a huge source of pride… for me,” he mentioned.

It was Stella’s turn to leverage her threatening, teasing demeanor in the sexiest way possible. She rested both her hands on her thigh and artificially pressed her breasts together, creating a nice downshirt that would have been impossible for a blind pony to miss.

And every time, Stella knew exactly how to play her coltfriend… and how he’d get lost in the hollow of her chest each time without incident.

“Tartarus would fuckin’ freeze over if ye could ever out-perv me, ya cunt,” she purred.

Fredrick narrowed his eyes, then pressed his nose to her snout, refusing to relinquish any eye-contact.

“Then I guess I’mma have to try harder to freeze Hell over…” he mused.

And by this point, a certain sister knew where this was leading… and it was much too sappy for her.

She was here to hang out with her sister and this hairless twat that she called her special somepony… but that did not entail having to listen to what constituted as the odd couple’s drivel.

Thus, she shotgunned her drink, took another shot of vodka that she had ordered on the side, and slid both empty vials to the bartender. Sveta slapped the surface of the counter twice for extra punctuation.

“Alright, that’s me cue tae leave. Time tae go set up; I expect ya cunts in the first row, aye lads?” she asked half-heartedly, pushing her stool back and getting to her hooves.

Dusting herself off, Sveta added as she walked by:

“An’ try not tae give each other any diseases while I’m gone? Who knows what Fred’s frail immune system is capable of…”

Fredrick was quick to stop her, however. There was just one more thing that had to be done to kick the true feeling of vacation and camaraderie into motion.

“Hold on, Svet’!” he beckoned, stopping her in her tracks.

He then fished his phone out of his pocket… and after countless experiences with ‘selfie’ pictures, Stella knew exactly what was about to happen.

She thrust both her fists into the air, then wrapped her left hand around Fredrick to lean in close.

“Awrite! Picture time! Sveta, get yer arse in here!”

Naturally, the younger sister of the two was most perplexed by what Stella meant, as well as the small slab of metal that Fredrick had fished out of his pocket.

She shrugged, but rejoined the two on Fredrick’s left as he prepared the mysterious piece of technology in front of them.

“Okay… whaddya mean? And what the shit is that?” she asked while observing Fredrick manipulate the screen to his liking.

She became even more shocked when a reflection of the three of them stared right back at her from said screen… but just barely on account of the darkness.

But at this point, if Stella was as excited as she seemed, then the questions could come later.

Fredrick held his phone at arm's-length and readied the front-facing camera.

Stella pressed her cheek right up against his face while Sveta opted for a more respectable distance, yet still wrapped her arm around him.

Two sets of bosom were pressed into his back. Fredrick was more than okay with this, and was given extra cause to smile for the impending picture.

“Alright, shitlords! Smile for the camera and let’s kick off the week!”

And then there were three smiles. Fredrick’s bright, perfect-teeth baring grin, while the two Sabre sisters held their usual smiles.

*SNAP*

Several more pictures followed, including a ‘retarded face’ one, a ‘sexy’ one where they donned their hilariously sexiest poses possible, one where they both kissed Fredrick’s cheeks, as well as one that looked like Sveta was choking out Fredrick while Stella looked on in horror.

For Fred, he knew this would be wonderful week to come; he could feel it in his gut. He knew for a fact he’d be seeing some weirder shit as he always had been oft to do when Stella was involved in some measure.

This entire week would be dominated by her and her family; so it could be the end of the world for all he knew.

But it was time to take things bit by bit, and forego his usual scheduling, planning nature.

More specifically, was time to watch Sveta play some sweet-ass guitar tunes.

Author's Note

Up next:
Sveta shreds her guitar and other sisterly bonding.

12. [Cloppy] A Headstart

After the impromptu photoshoot with Fredrick’s phone’s selfie camera, Sveta took her leave though only after hammering back two more shots of vodka.

She was a Northern Thestral, after all, and a ‘strict blood-alcohol-content had to be constantly maintained,’ according to the both of them.

Fredrick could not ascertain whether the Sabre sisters were joking about that or not.

In the end that left Stella and Fredrick by their lonesome for the time being, as Sveta had to go set up with her band. Per what Fred had heard, they were on next. For the last forty minutes or so, a small group of three ponies currently on stage finished their set of folk-sounding Scottish music.

Fredrick allowed himself to sway a little bit with the dips and meanders of the relaxing tunes.

Drawing himself back to reality and turning his full attention to his marefriend, Stella had ordered what appeared to be a single line of six different shots, all laid out to display on the counter.

After the bartender topped off the left-most shotglass, Fredrick observed how Stella’s eyes widened and her tongue lapped at her lips in preparation for the goodness she was about to receive.

Her hands had melded into one another and she shimmied in place with unbridled excitement, further topped off by that smile of hers that could cure diseases.

“Sooo…” Fredrick spoke with some mild, marked concern on his features.

“What’cha got there, babe?”

She glanced at him and lit up even further, what he thought was a practical impossibility. Then again, Fredrick knew first-hand that when alcohol and Stella were involved, anything was theoretically possible.

“This, love, is what we call the ‘Mini-Gauntlet,’” she began to explain.

“It’s a line of shots from different alcohols that gets stronger from left tae right! The goal is to smash these fuckers back as fast as possible!”

Fredrick blinked once, shifting his eyes from both the line of liquid courage and his already-inebriated Stella.

“Umm… you equipped to handle this?” he questioned, cocking his head while still nursing the drink he had been sipping for the last hour.

“PSSSHHHHH!” Stella dismissed with an appropriate wave of her hand.

“Of course I am, cute stuff! Are youuu~ equipped tae handle this?!” she shot right back, slurring her last couple of words.

Fredrick raised his right eyebrow at her display, and his expression never faltered from incredulous.

It was as clear as a cloudless night that Stella had well-passed the point of being merely tipsy; a place that she was about half an hour prior.

As he had noted throughout their relationship tenure, Stella getting hammered beyond all recognition was was almost required if they were technically ‘celebrating’ something… that something being the start of their vacation together.

So, he only shrugged.

“Alright… So, how fast can you chug these back then?” he wondered out loud.

Stella clapped her hands and rubbed them together, beaming once more as she turned back to her awaiting challenge in front of her.

She then fielded her rhetorical response:

“Why don’t’cha observe, aye?”

With no forthcoming warning, she used both her hands to knock back shot-after-shot of the alcohol from left to right.

With the surprising, nigh-impossible finesse that only an expert drunk could hope to master, she emptied the contents of each shot-glass into her mouth with fractions of a second delay between the next. After doing so, she slammed said containers back onto the counter.

At this point in their friendship and relationship, Fredrick, after all Stella had treated him to, figured that she was done being able to surprise him with her antics.

He was wrong; so very wrong.

She drank enough to kill a hardened human being in the span of five seconds...

...and she came out no worse for wear.

After another mighty belch (which, again, earned her some sparse cheers and praise), she turned back to Fredrick.

“See? Nothin’ tae—*HIC* worry about! Now…” she clutched her diaphragm after her hiccup and pointed to the remnants of Fredrick’s drink.

Fred, again, raised his eyebrow at her.

“Ye got about five seconds tae finish that pussy drink o’ yers,” Stella declared.

Fredrick pouted, picking up his glass and swirling the contents that were still about half-full.

“Gin and tonics aren’t ‘pussy drinks…’”

Stella pouted in return.

“I kick somepony’s ass fer ya… and that’s how ye repay me? We’ll make ye a proper drinker, yet!” she declared, having raised her index finger to the air.

That brought Fredrick back to some musings from a smidge earlier.

“I never asked you to kick his ass, though… honestly that could’ve been sett—”

“JUST DRINK THE FUCKIN’ DRINK YA CUNT!”

Her tone brooked no argument, and Fredrick only rolled his eyes, swirled the liquid and ice, and then finished off what remained.

He set the glass victoriously on the counter, to which the bartender promptly took elsewhere.

“Better?” Fredrick asked, sarcasm wholly evident in his words.

Stella’s response came not with words, but as a gallant foray of public affection when she lunged forward, wrapped her arms around his upper body, and pressed her alcohol-soaked lips against his.

Of course Fredrick rolled with it. It was not like he was gonna deny his girl some luvin’ when she requested it!

And once Stella felt Fredrick’s fingers dig into her back muscles, as well as his lips clash with hers, she spared no haste in upping the ante. The foul-mouthed mare broke right through Fred’s lips and teeth, sending her tongue straight into his mouth and tackling his own.

As for Fredrick, Stella’s tongue dominating his mouth was nothing unusual in any sense… but the fact that she had so much alcohol made the whole experience like washing his mouth out with vodka.

Though, to Stella’s credit, Fredrick never thought that would ever be a pleasant experience… one he would melt in.

Again, there she went with disproving all his preconceived notions.

Stella separated from Fredrick after a few long seconds of sloppy making-out, the remnants of any PDA being the thinnest strand of saliva keeping them connected at the fang and lip respectively.

Though their barstools were teetering on the edge of collapsing on their sides, the two parties kept a firm hold on one another as per usual fashion: Fredrick’s hands on Stella’s waist, and Stella’s hands around Fred’s neck.

Through the darkness, both lovers exchanged those profound thoughts through lidded eyes.

Of course, the sight was much more surreal for Fredrick, who was staring into much brighter pools of gold than he normally would.

Still, the whole experience begged the question once Fredrick shook off the residual dreaminess in his voice:

“Whoa… not that I’m complaining but, what was that for?” Fredrick asked.

And despite the loud music and conversation hitting them from every direction, Stella still had a rather insistent urge to place her muzzle into his neck, kiss him, and take a nice whiff.

“Mmmm… because ye just make me fuckin’ crazy sometimes…”

A small bout of shivers were sent up Fredrick’s spine at the oh-so intimate contact that he loved. His eyes fell shut for a moment on their lonesome as he granted her a little more access to his neck.

“In what way?” he ventured to follow up.

Stella scraped her fangs against the edge of his jaw.

“Yes.”

Fredrick, huffing out in amusement, had one last question to ask… a question that had become much too commonplace for a ‘normal’ relationship.

“How fuckin’ drunk are you??”

“Yes.”

Fredrick nodded, acquiescing. He should have known better.

Stella never released her grip on him, and through her drunken façade, Fred still saw an almost… shy expression staring up at him; much unlike her normal demeanor.

And being the type of person that he was, he would have been most untrue to himself if he did not capitalize on such things.

With a tilt of his head, and a certain smugness that drove Stella insane when he dared to embrace his natural charm, Fred cobbled together a lone inference:

“Something tells me that you wouldn’t mind ditching your sister, heading back to your place, and making out on your bed…”

Stella bit her lip and purred in gentle surprise, and her retort came slurred, but no-less coherent:

“Was that a suggestion ‘r an order, Freddie~? An’ I think there’d be a wee bit more than makin’ out…”

Fredrick poked the tip of his nose into her muzzle. He could be as sappy with impunity when Stella was as sloshed as she was.

He giggled at her reply, though.

“A joke, really. But you being so okay with it is actually pretty funny,” Fredrick noted.

“Well…” Stella began, poking his chest. “I did promise you a blowjob later…”

Fredrick’s breath hitched in his throat and suddenly his forehead needed some wiping… which he did with the back of his hand.

And who the hell turned up the heater in a place like this?

Child-like excitement welled up within his core, seeming to make him that much lighter in his chest.

While sex was amazing with this mare, they were too busy cooling off each other’s loins with said respective loins that Stella did not consider ‘returning the favor’ at the time.

Further, Fredrick knew that Stella’s sexual banter entailed joking about her ‘head game.’ He’d have been egregiously lying out his ass if he said he did not want to have her game ‘demonstrated’ on him.

“Oh… H-heh, you were actually being serious?” he asked, treading carefully as if this wasn’t a sure thing at all.

He was just covering his bases, really… he knew well that predatory look that would fester in her eyes; one of nature’s several majesties that this world had to offer.

It was Stella’s turn to punctuate with a blink.

Then with an innocent upturn in her inflection and a cutely cocked face to boot, she replied:

“Aren’t I a mare of me word?”

She followed up with a bit lower lip and, with the clandestine hand of a seasoned, sneaky thestral, she palmed the slowly-growing tent in Fredrick’s pants.

Fred lost his breathing rhythm as his response got lodged in his throat yet again. He flicked his eyes from side to side rapidly to see if anyone had noticed Stella’s bit of ‘groin gallantry.’

Nopony did.

Yet.

But more importantly, having come this far, did Fredrick even care if anypony did?

And even so, Stella did not let up… in fact, she made her right fang dig into her lip a little more as she, with a vague firmness, fondled for and gripped Fredrick’s shaft.

The right corner of her lip upturned, and she returned that once smug face of Fred’s with one of her own, daring him to try something else.

“Think I’m not bein’ serious now?”

She tightened her grip, extorting a mixture of a pleasured/pained groan out of Fredrick.

“No…!” he squeaked. “I’ve never once—mph—doubted your words, Stel’.”

Stella smiled, then pressed her nose to Fred’s.

“Good,” she uttered. “Now…”

She released him.

“How ‘bout we catch me sister with some music and dance, aye?” she suggested.

Fredrick performed a little bit of mental meditation to calm the raging eager-fear boner that had grown three times that day in Stella’s loving grasp.

Once he was sure that he wouldn’t be spearing random ponies’ asses with an unwillingly pitched tent, he promptly gestured out towards the dancefloor… where other ponies had gathered en masse for the last half an hour.

“After you, my dear,” he said, sporting a toothy smile as he was oft to do around the mare of his dreams.

Stella then took that outstretched hand of his and yanked him off the stool… though in her overconfidence, she stood on her hooves a mite too quick for her level of inebriation.

She stumbled a few steps to her right, using her arms for balance but thankfully, Fredrick was able to spot her instability from a mile away.

He gripped her by the shoulders and set her up right on her hooves with a chuckle.

“Jesus dude, don’t kill yourself on the first night of vacation!” he joked.

“Okay… I’m okay… I’m okay…” Stella repeated to herself.

Her expression bounced back to normal and she resumed leading Fredrick out towards the oddly-concrete dance floor.

Though, just as an extra matter of precaution, Fredrick scooted up behind Stella and wrapped his arms around her waist to help her more effectively wade through the crowd of ponies in her state.

Stella rolled her eyes, but wordlessly let Fredrick know exactly what she thought of the gesture… by placing her own hands over his and letting them rest on the lowest portion of her midriff.

By all that the foul-mouthed batpony considered holy, Fredrick was sometimes just too sweet for his own good.

With a teeny bit of effort, a few pleasantries and several apologies to others whom they had to brush past, the couple arrived on the floor right in front of the stage.

The previous band was finishing up some of the most quintessential celtic-sounding music that Fredrick had heard while those around him—if they felt so inclined—danced in a manner most appropriate.

For the party atmosphere that was present in this so-called ‘club,’ many-a patron were quite familiar with seemingly traditional folk-dances and formalities.

And not even a little while ago, Fredrick could’ve gotten his spleen extricated from him by one of these upstanding individuals.

What a time to be alive!

Fredrick leaned into Stella’s ear and whispered:

“Don’t let me hold you back if you wanna dance like… a jig or some shit heh.”

Stella giggled with a cute ‘pffft!’ in response.

“Wrong clan, mate!” she replied. “But I’ll have ye know that I, in fact, can dance a fuckin’ jig!”

She shimmied her way out of Fred’s grip and, after (somehow) twirling to face him with precision hoof-movement and balance, she placed her hands on her hips.

“Check this shit out!” she beamed.

And… much to Fred’s bewilderment due to her aforementioned interaction with alcohol, she danced what he could only describe as a proper jig.

Well, at least the first few steps of it. Stella may have defied very existence with her corporeal form, but she was not perfect by any means. Fredrick was uncultured in this regard anyway, so she may have danced a bloody shite jig for all he knew.

Regardless, Fredrick had no protest with her little bout of drunken confidence, especially if it allowed him to see her chest bounce a bit in kind with her movements… most prominently so on her ending hoofplant.

All was excellent, though Stella almost kissed the floor from stumbling.

There were so many perks to the little things in their relationship.

“Well… alright then!” Fred reacted, applauding with an expression most impressed.

And Stella curtsied in kind.

“Cheers, love!” she beamed once more, then skipped to Fredrick’s side where she latched onto his torso.

He lay his left hand around her back and stared down into Stella’s golden orbs.

He couldn't help but smile in return.

“Hey you.”

“Dance with me?” Stella slurred out with much less grace than she had hoped.

“You don't seem too up to it, really,” Fredrick replied, chuckling.

“Bah!” Stella dismissed. “Then you can hold me steady while I grind me arse into yer cock n’ balls, aye?” she suggested an alternative.

She waggled her eyebrows to hammer the point home.

Fredrick stifled another chuckle as the two got into position, and he planted his crotch right into the crevice of her clothed rear without a shred of remorse.

And once Stella felt the modest rigidity of Fredrick’s member lodged in the crevice of her butt (right where it belonged), she, with a smidge of lustful intent, wiggled herself into him.

Nice and snug were the two, now.

Stella had to have the last few words of the subject matter, looking straight up at him so her vision was upside down:

“Make sure ye don’t fuckin’ burst so soon, aye?”

Fredrick returned a playfully annoyed look, but knew by now that his best defense with Stella’s prodding and sarcasm was some of his own…

Along with a knowing, shit-eating grin to show for it.

“Yeah you’d fuckin’ enjoy that wouldn’t you?”

But his tone… the way he fielded his rebuttal was what stoked Stella’s playful and combative side; Fredrick should have known better than to challenge the master of allusive banter.

She kept her face in the odd orientation it was and only mirrored Fredrick’s waning smugness.

“I would, actually…” she said, then pretended to demure before swiftly adding:

“...but I’d much prefer it in me mouth, y’know…

Or… all over my pretty little face, hmm?”

Thankfully, everyone was interrupted by the end of the song because Fredrick had not a shred of anything else to come back with. Stella had one-upped him at every turn and in her wake, left him with a raging semi, blushed cheeks, and nary a thought process to his name.

The attention of all the patrons had shifted to the stage come the end of the final instrumental piece, where the band took their respectful leave to more-than entertained applause.

All watched with bated excitement at who would fill the music void next… though everypony had their answer when Sveta and four other ponies strut out on stage with bright smiles.

Even more awesome, as they slowly became bathed in the stage lights, the applause was ready and willing.

Sveta thrust her left hand into the air with a grandiose show of greeting.

Fredrick was never one to participate in ovations when he went to concerts, but the mare in his grasp assuredly had none of those same traits: she actively howled through tunneled hands around her muzzle and cheered on her younger sister as she presented herself on stage.

Though, of course, in the most sisterly way possible:

“GET GUD YE FUKKIN’ LIMP TOSSER! KNOCK ‘EM DEAD, BITCH!”

Yeah. What she said!

And in the midst of an audience of an intimately crowded venue, Sveta continued her broad smile as she took front and center stage.

The rest of her supposed band (in Fredrick’s point of view) continued to set up.

From what Fredrick was able to make out, their coats ranged from dark grey to a blue shade like Sveta, along with an assortment of different mane and tail styles.

He did have to admit though, the other guitarist taking her place next to Sveta was also quite the looker…

...same with the bassist.

And the drummer.

And the keyboardist.

And Sveta.

Goddamnit how are so many mares in Equestria good looking?? Fuck.

“Alright!” the younger Sabre sister spoke into the standing microphone… though she was perhaps too forceful as the mic gave off a horrific sounding screech overlaying her voice.

Everypony cringed and covered their ears at the Lovecraftian-esque horror that emanated from the speakers.

Sveta quickly corrected herself, and the input was adjusted appropriately.

“Shit! Sorry ‘bout that!” Sveta apologized.

“Faaaack off! I came here tae hear beautiful music, ya slack cunt! Not get me ears fucked!” Stella roared back through her hollowed hands… followed by uproarious laughter from random parts of the crowd.

And for the thousandth time in these short months, Fredrick had to remind himself that not every dude had a partner who could make them laugh as much as they did with the little things they said.

Hence, he buried his face atop her mane and laughed to his heart’s content; he further wrapped his arms around Stella’s midsection, and the latter interlocked her fingers with his when she was able.

As for Sveta, her right ear flicked at the cacophonous sound of her drunk sister, but she knew better than to respond to it while on stage.

“Right! Well, thanks fer comin’ out, everypony! I’m pretty tipsy m’self so we’ll try to make this quick. Like always, we’ve got the usual mares…”

Sveta gestured to all her bandmates as they rattled off their own names:

“Starla!” greeted the second guitarist with a bright smile and a wide-arcing wave.

“Sage!” the bassist crossed both of her arms under her chest, sporting a much fiercer smirk.

“Strange!” the drummer tossed both her drumsticks into the air and snatched them.

“Sora!” the keyboardist pointed out towards the crowd.

“And I’m Sveta!” the Sabre circled back around. “And fer those of ya who’re joinin’ us fer the first time, we’re regulars here so allow me to introduce ourselves…”

The crowd by this point had fallen in volume to barely a few murmurs and scattered conversation.

Fredrick rested the top of his chin on Stella’s head and continued to hold her hands over her stomach, listening with rapt attention.

Stella occasionally would direct his palms over parts of her exposed midriff; she knew that he liked touching her bare skin wherever it might have shown. She was more than okay with that, though Stella often didn’t understand Fred’s often habitual need to touch her.

She was one to talk, considering she would always rough him around and blatantly violate his personal space in their earlier days.

“This is something we all like to do for fun… and even as a surprise to us, we’ve got us some fans in the audience from time to time. We have any now?” Sveta asked with a smile, cupping her right ear with her hand for emphasis.

Fredrick jumped in shock when, right behind him, a sizeable number of ponies all started howling and applauding.

Literally howling.

Stella was one of them.

And in response to the reaction, Sveta jumped all giddy-like and laughed out loud before taking back to the mic. Her bandmates and likely her good friends also waved, pointed, and blew kisses in no particular combination nor order.

“Whew lad! Look’s like we’ve got a bunch o’ ponies tae impress tonight! But as I said, to those who don’t know us, we take pride in being such a light in these dark-ass mountains. A light…”

Sveta smirked.

“...in the flesh.”

Fredrick blinked.

...No fucking way.

“We are… FLESHLIGHT!”

“BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” came Fredrick’s uncontrollable, inconsolable, head-rearing laughter amidst the tidal wave of applause and hoof stomps.

Fredrick buried his face in Stella’s mane in trying to muffle his rude, high-pitched outburst but to no avail at all. So much so did his now squealing laughter continue, that Stella had taken notice with a slightly raised upper lip and a cocked eyebrow to boot.

And since they were in the front row, Sveta was also keen on Fredrick getting riled up, and cocked her right eyebrow.

Fred felt Stella’s questioning gaze looking back at him from her shoulder, and while still recovering from spilling gratuitous amounts of tears, he beckoned her ear to his mouth.

And after a simple whispered sentence, Stella burst out laughing in kind.

She then pointed straight at Sveta, which got Fredrick going again… so in the end of it all, there were two weirdos in the grasp of textbook guffaw in the front of a crowd of eager ponies.

“HEHEAHAHAHA! SVET’ YER BAND’S NAMED AFTER A FUCKIN’ POCKET PUSSY!”

Sveta, of course, was not exactly sure what her sister was getting at, as the nomenclature for a portable minge was most certainly not ‘fleshlight’ in the Equestrian language.

Further, her bandmates shot her odd looks in reference to Stella, but Sveta waved them off; a simple action chalking it up to the eccentricity of her older sister.

“Right. Well, that’s us! And tae make this go as quickly as possible as I said earlier, I’ll end it with: sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride ‘cuz five mares ‘re gonna rock yer world fer the next half an hour!” Sveta declared while pumping her fist into the air.

She then took her slung guitar into a proper hold and shot a conniving look to the navy-coated Starla.

“Play us in!”

At the introduction of the first opening chords, Fredrick was already impressed that Sveta and company were diving right into it.

The crowd reacted at an instant.

Even Stella appeared to be pleased, evident by her nodding and beginning to lightly sashay to the swift, quintessential rock and roll beat.

“Shit, she’s goin’ all out!” she yelled.

Fredrick, however was immediately taken when the opening lyrics out of Sveta’s mouth manifested over the crowd like an ethereal, sonorous wave.

While based on her small little bout of playing in Stella’s room earlier, he knew she had a nice, smooth voice. But when it came to rock music, that voice was still there… though the inflections and slight rasp on certain notes gave off a distinguishable ‘rock star’ persona.

On top of the mannerisms, her own bouts of dancing with her guitar as her partner in crime, and occasional—often hilarious—interactions with her bandmates made this more readily apparent.

Fredrick’s innards swelled with a bunch of emotions that he had not experienced in a long, long time. Sure, they were variations of excitement and eagerness; he got these feelings with Stella all the time.

He knew this variation well though: nostalgia.

He had the pleasure of attending a fair amount of rock concerts during his time in college, and they never failed to provide a great time with his friends and the occasional girl he would meet there.

And seeing Sveta sing, play, shimmy, and dance in an alluring yet appropriate (and not so appropriate) manner brought all these memories back in one fell swoop.

With Stella in his arms dutifully ensuring that Fred felt every inch of her ass on his crotch as they swayed together, it completed the entire ensemble.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he almost had the urge to shed a tear or two.

His heartbeat surged at the feeling of the one he cared so much about being in his arms, his smile was as wide as it ever could have been hitherto, and further, come the next few songs in Sveta’s list, he was already singing along with all the choruses.

Hilariously, he did what he honestly hated other people doing during events like this: he pulled out his phone and recorded small snippets of the show.

Even more awesome in his eyes, was that despite the odd technology that Sveta was just exposed to barely twenty minutes prior, she knew exactly what he was up to…

...and in consequence, began singing and playing for the camera for a good fifteen seconds at a time.

Due to the situation, conversation between Stella and Fredrick had died completely in the verbal sense… though in the physical sense, it was all but quiet on the Western Front.

Each little sway in conjunction with a simple, specific touch on one another emphasized something only they had come to understand in their incredibly close relationship.

And as the two got lost in the music as a single entity, every brush of Fredrick’s fingers against Stella’s exposed midriff told her ‘I love the work you put into your body.’

Each time Stella would place her hand atop of his in the aforementioned position, the usually foul-mouthed thestral conveyed in a way most succinct: ‘I know… and it’s all yours.’

Well… at least that’s what it felt like to Fredrick. Stella was drunk after all, and he himself was not in any position to deem himself ‘clear of mind.’

As the bridges became more frequent and the choruses passed one by one, each song saw Fredrick and Stella inexplicably get lost in each other more and more. Butt against crotch casually evolved into a more intimate, face-to-face approach to their physicalities, turning to hold each other in a much more traditional fashion.

Yet, one thing remained a constant: they never once took their hands away from one another.

Perhaps what made the current moment even more meaningful, more profound for the comparatively new couple was that it was Sveta’s last song for the evening… and she had been situationally-aware enough to notice the physical status of her sister and goofy-looking coltfriend.

So, in a last-minute change of events, a slower song had been settled on to close it all out.

While the two batpony kin bantered about killing each other on a consistent basis, Sveta would never not wingpony for her.

In an act most unlike her, Stella placed her right hand on Fred’s left pec, and flashed him a warm smirk.

Such a smirk wasn't silly in nature this time, nor in any form of jest. This was serious; a soft simper that signified several sensual senses of their synchronous swaying.

Fredrick, in kind, placed his right hand on her cheek, cupping that pinch-able face in all of its glory; Stella leaned in to the gesture and the two continued to subconsciously swing with the music, and allow it to carry them as it pleased.

His chest threatened to extricate itself from his body, as the light feeling given off by the fluttering of his heart was damn-near maddening.

And yet, he welcomed every bit of it… and hoped it would never stop.

Fredrick also realized something else right at this moment.

This is going waaaaay too fast…

...and I’m okay with that.

Perfectly timed to when Sveta had been serenading the entire crowd, come the climax of her song, both Stella and Fredrick leaned in for the kill and planted their lips on one another.

But unlike in times of the more recent past, this kiss was not aggressive nor lustful.

It was soft, tender, and dare they both say, needy.

Both pairs of eyes shuttered as they focused all of their collective ability to feel into very specific places:

Their lips as they molded against one another in a restrained erotic embrace.

Their hands as they fought to pull each other as close as possible…

...and their chests.

Their emotion-laden, fluttering hearts beat powerfully as one.

And Sveta could do little more than cast a bright smile at the quiet public display of affection, all as her final song came to a close.

In the wake of the last few notes, the crowd’s reaction was unmistakable with their own chorus of applause, cheers, hoof stops, howls, and the like.

Fred and Stella were a bit too busy at the moment to participate, but Sveta knew that they enjoyed themselves; and their lack of involvement was for a very good reason.

After what seemed like a small eternity of silence, they pulled apart from one another.

Fredrick was the first to vocalize his currently muddled thoughts.

“That… wow. Shit that was incredible,” he struggled to say, his cheeks still blushed.

Stella bit her lip and continued to palm Fredrick’s chest. Her cheeks were perpetually dimpled at this point from her now-painful smiling.

She was not spared any annoying blush either.

“Speak fer yerself, mate…” she spoke.

To which Fredrick came back with a swift:

“I was talking about Sveta’s performance.”

“Oh fuuuck off…” Stella giggled out, which started another storm of maniacal laughter between the two of them.

Though, that was drowned out by the continuing praise of the crowd.

Fredrick shifted his right hand down to her hip and turned to the stage, where he flashed Sveta a smile, a wink, and a thumbs-up gesture. Stella’s hand snaked around his neck and upon sight of the friendly moment her coltfriend and sister were sharing, she rolled her eyes…

...though, the pleasant smile on her face told all.

Sveta met Fredrick’s implicit thanks with a single, knowing point of her right index finger.

She then took to the microphone after raising both her free hand and her guitar. Her other bandmates collectively wiped the sweat from their foreheads and relished in the crowd’s affection.

“Thank you all again… and goodnight!”

[Later in Stella's Room]

Sveta's features continued to color as her meek smile refused to wane. It was a well-known, documented fact that she was perhaps a bit too humble… almost to a fault.

“Aye? Ya really think so, mate?” she asked again for the third time.

Stella rolled her eyes, but Fredrick was more than fine on repeating his previous assertions.

The three of them were sat comfortably on Stella’s bed, relaxing with one another before they all headed off to sleep for the evening.

“You kidding me??” his incredulity was palpable. “That was a damn concert, dude! You play incredibly well. I would’ve actually paid money to see that, just saying,” he further elaborated.

It was true though, if his excitement somehow wasn’t in any way measurable during the whole event.

He had only had the pleasure and privilege of being to a few concerts in his life; rock concerts, specifically. This one felt much more intimate and the value to entertainment ratio was way skewed in Sveta’s favor.

Sveta chuckled, slouching her posture against the wall as she became more comfortable.

With her legs shamelessly wide, outfit replaced with pajama tops and bottoms, and an evening drink in her hand, she was more than content to relish in the praise.

She got a lot of it through her ‘hobby,’ but she she cherished every bit of it nonetheless.

“Heh, well…” her response was muddled with awkwardness.

Sveta’s cheeks were also having trouble containing her smile, though perhaps the alcohol in her system contributed to their lack of structural integrity.

“...by all definitions it was a concert, dickhead. But seriously, thanks mate. Means a lot, aye?”

Her humility was not lost on Fredrick… nor on Stella.

“Sure thing!” Fredrick replied with an appropriate raise of his drink. “Let us know when you make it big! I’m sure the two of us…” he gestured to Stella and his person. “...would be right in the front row.”

Now it was Sveta’s turn to roll her eyes… in such a way that it caused her physical pain.

Still, the continued, implicit praise no matter how much it was blown out of proportion was always welcome to her ears.

That didn’t mean Sveta didn’t have to deride every bit of it, though.

“Oh fuuuuuuuck off, Fred,” she replied, snickering. “Like I already said in the past, it’s just a hobby. I don’t have the will ‘r the drive tae try and make a career out of it.”

“Oh yeah?” Fredrick asked, supporting himself with his shoulder against the wall. “Risk averse?”

Sveta bobbed her head in consideration.

“Eh. It’s just having fun right now; that’s all I care. There ‘re more stable professions after all.”

Stella decided to weigh in on the previously two-sided conversation.

“What he means, Svet’, is that he’s a pussy like you,” she so conveyed with a certain tact that was expected of her.

As she took a swig of some water, Sveta and Fredrick regarded each other with a kindred deadpan.

“Riiiight…” the former replied, then patted the bed twice as she moved to get back to her hooves.

“Well, I’m fuckin’ exhausted so I’m gonna get outta yer manes and go tae sleep,” Sveta added, downing the remainder of her drink.

Once stable, she raised both of her arms taut over her head and bowed her body forward in a mighty stretch. She emitted a cute, pained squeak as a portion of her spine popped… and then she sighed out in bliss.

Stella was more focused on Sveta’s mention of retiring for the night.

“Oh, right… forgot we’ve got shit tae do tomorrow.” She ran her palm over the rear of her neck. “Righto. Let’s head off then.”

She also added with less-than veiled bitterness:

“Probably won’t sleep a fuckin’ wink either with me schedule. Fuck me.”

Sveta spun on her hooves and, much like Stella did to Fredrick before dinner, pointed both of her index fingers at her older sister.

“That…” she claimed. “...sounds like a ‘you’ problem, Stel’! Get some sleep anyway; I don’t wanna deal with yer bitchin’ in the mornin’.”

Stella gestured Sveta out of the room with three flicks of her hand.

“No guarantees; now piss off. Goodnight.”

“‘Night, Fredrick!”

“Goodnight, Sveta!”

And with that, the youngest one took her leave, pulling the door closed behind her, though with not enough force to latch it completely… on account of Stella’s consistent brutalizing of her room’s entryway.

Stella rolled onto her back while Fredrick slumped further in his position against the wall, letting the comforter cradle his sore legs and ass for the moment.

Both let out a fatigued sigh.

Then, Fredrick glanced down at Stella. Her t-shirt had ridden up her tummy a bit, exposing her navel and the lower section of her midriff while her arms lay splayed over her head.

Stella met his eyes with hers, and Fredrick opted to speak first.

“Wanna go to bed?” he asked.

However, Stella returned a look that made him feel stupid for asking that question in the first place.

She rolled onto her front and got on all fours, eyeing the now curious Fredrick up like he was his prey once more.

“Go to bed?” she questioned, creeping up on him with her tail raised and a less-than subtle sway in her rear.

“Why the fuck would we go to bed now that we’re alone, hmmm?”

Fredrick knew exactly what she was getting at, and the remnants of his mind began swimming with lust at the certainty of getting some action. His eyes gleamed at the sight and despite his want to play innocent in such a situation, the same aforementioned mindset erected his dick in a modicum’s notice.

“Well…” he began, and as Stella’s muzzle became less than an inch away from his mouth, he rested his hands on her shoulders.

“...I figured since you were in such a relaxed state, I wouldn’t push anything if you wanted to go to bed.

“Besides, you’ve still got a hefty amount of alcohol in your system; pony metabolism or not.”

Stella snagged her lower lip in the grasp of her upper-right fang and palmed Fredrick’s crotch for the second time this evening, evoking lidded eyes from Fredrick.

As well as a minor hiccup in his breath that Stella didn’t seem to notice.

What she didn’t know, she couldn’t prod him for in the future.

“The only thing yer pushin’ tonight is pushin’ yer dick into the back of me throat, aye?” Stella repurposed one of Fred’s key words.

Fredrick could not resist laughing out loud (although subdued due to the time of night) at those words; that was the perfect comeback in his eyes, to be honest.

And as funny as that was, he would consider himself hard as diamonds at the moment. Further, Stella noticed right away from the strained tent in his pants.

Stella, while keeping up the firmness on Fred’s crotch, slid her palm up to the top of his fly and button of his pants.

She grinned evilly, continuing to train those eager eyes on Fred’s.

“May I?”

Fredrick huffed, tightening his grip on her shoulders in anticipation of what was to come next.

“Since when the hell do you ask?”

Stella winked.

“Givin’ you semblance of choice is only common courtesy.

“Now…” she whispered. “Let’s take care of you.”

With one motion, Stella pried the front placket of his pants away, dislodging the button and undoing the zipper all the same. Much like last time, she was brought face-to-face with the enticing tent in his boxers… albeit veiled by that very same, infuriating layer of under-clothing.

Removing just that section of his pants, however, made a mild fear of Fredrick’s surface when his erect but covered spire was in the chasm of his undone zipper.

Drawing from a horrible experience in his past, he came to the conclusion that this would not do at all.

“Here, lemme get this off,” he suggested, shimmying his ass out of the garment while Stella wordlessly got the message.

She helped him slide out of his denims before heaving them over her shoulder with a haphazard toss.

Now, all that remained was the pair of plaid boxers that housed Stella’s prize… a prize that she would claim and had been craving again since the first time they had been intimate.

True, she got a good taste of how effective Fredrick was at using his tool to scramble her innards… but she never got a good taste in the literal sense.

Stella would rectify that at once.

Not even glancing up at Fredrick’s face to gauge his reaction, Stella hooked her fingers into the brim of his boxers and pulled them tactfully down and over his tent.

Once his engorged member was free of its constraints, Stella discarded the now-useless garment in her hands in a manner much akin to his pants.

Stella’s eyes brightened and she licked her upper lip as she turned her attention to Fredrick’s face… his cheeks were blushed with youthful eagerness and wide eyes. His breathing was much more controlled yet deep; she had him right where she wanted him.

The human managed to smile lustfully down at the thestral nonetheless; Stella was always one to appreciate the little things.

The batpony inched her hand forward and with a gentleness most unlike her, grasped Fred’s rigid shaft and gave it a firm squeeze. She then pressed her thumb into the thickest part, drawing her touch over one of the few veins that crisscrossed his manhood.

Much to her delight, Fredrick, shuddered under her touch and sighed out in approval. The head of his cock leaked the smallest bead of precum for the thestral’s efforts.

“Mmm… eager, are we?” Stella jested, snaking up next to Fredrick to place her face closer to his, all without sacrificing her hold on him.

She began idly stroking his length as Fredrick kept his gaze on her, their mouths millimeters apart at this point. With the lewd acts now underway, their breathing turned much more labored and broke upon one another’s faces like the gentlest, soothing gusts on a prairie.

“Heh… mmm… you just know how to get me all worked up. Got me all hyped since the start of the night,” Fred noted softly.

To join in on the hand action, he used Stella’s new position to his advantage to allow him to snake his hand up her tummy, and latch onto one of her breasts.

She was unfazed, and in fact, Stella encouraged his actions by leaning closer to him, giving him just that extra bit of access to her collar where he could actually slide his hand down her shirt.

And slide his hand down her shirt he did.

Stella giggled breathily.

“You never get enough of these, do ya?” she asked.

Fred’s hand snaked its way into her cleavage, enjoying both of her bra-clad breasts firmly sandwiching his fingers as he fondled to his heart’s content. His digits dipped into the cups and brushed over her hardening nipples.

Fredrick huffed out, joining in the gentle chorus of sexually-catalyzed laughter.

“You got me there!”

Stella cracked a satisfied, mischievous smirk, advancing that insignificant amount of space between them to seal their lips once more…

...but only for a short while.

She was quick to extricate herself before Fredrick got too into the kiss; tonight was about him, after all.

“Good,” she remarked, then placed the palm of her free hand on her abdomen, right at the brim of her hiked-up shirt.

“Want me tae take this off, love?”

Fredrick nodded very, very slowly, then enunciated each and every one of his following words in the most formal, clear way possible:

“Yes. I would love for you to remove your top and bra. Definitely yes.”

Stella loosed another bout of laughter at Fredrick’s antics, and spared little haste in meeting his request.

Releasing his shaft for a brief moment, Stella peeled her t-shirt over her head, exposing her toned tummy and, most importantly, her black bra-clad chest.

In tandem whilst keeping her vision squarely trained on Fredrick’s face, she drew both her hands behind her back and undid the harness for her simple garment. She did without the theatrics and teasing as she let it fall limp into her lap.

Fredrick’s heart fluttered even faster to keep up with the blood flow that his dick was suddenly demanding; the economics of arousal were proving a bit harder in practice.

Stella’s supple breasts hung perky yet unsupported on her chest, and Fredrick took executive privilege in pulling her close and taking her left nipple into his mouth...

...of course, despite the awkward angle in which he had to turn his torso to achieve such a desirable outcome, he knew that the tits were worth some minor back pain in the morning.

Simultaneously, Stella cradled his cock in her hand and resumed her now-slightly-more-intense stroking in response to Fred’s foreseeable ministrations.

The room was awash with a sudden, comfortable silence… a silence that was occasionally broken by the wet-sounding suckles of Fredrick’s mouth on Stella’s breast, or Stella’s fingers getting progressively matted by Fredrick’s incremental precum leakage.

As well there were the frequent, soft sighs from both parties whenever they prodded each other’s more sensitive spots.

Stella, much like the last time, would normally be more than keen on letting Fredrick just have some quality time with her tits… but there was more important business to take care of.

So, cupping his cheek with her free hand, Stella applied just enough pull to let him get the message, and the human freed himself from Stella’s now-diamond nipple on his own volition.

Fredrick then met Stella’s sultry gaze, and once she had his attention in full, she dove back in once more for another kiss… more of a wet smooch this time as opposed to a full-on makeout.

Luna knew where the two would end up if their tongues started going at it again; nothing would ever get done.

...not that that would be a bad thing, of course.

Stella pulled away just enough where the wake of their kiss resounded with a tiny ‘smack.’ She then leaned in once more and tenderly pressed her puckered lips to his cheek.

She mosied her way into the crevice of his neck and continued her trickle of kisses downard.

To elicit that deep inhale and shudder that she loved to evoke from the human, Stella just barely let her fangs graze the tender skin of Fred’s mildly-stubbled neck.

With a few swift motions, Fredrick’s shirt was also a crumpled, wrinkled mess of fabric on the floor.

And after lavishing him with one more lick for the road, she placed one more kiss on the underside of his jaw and resumed her venture downard.

Stella would bestow Fredrick with tiny pecks as she slunk down his body, making doubly sure that her bosom was compressed tightly against him; her nipples were necessarily dragged along for the ride.

While she was the one doing the pleasuring, the resistance of Fred’s skin against her breasts swelled her chest with a light, electric feeling that she hoped to replicate at a later date… when her coltfriend would outright demand to return some form of the favor. Perhaps she would bathe him? Lather her chest up with lavender soap and wash his back?

Decisions, decisions.

Finally, with some extra convincing in parting his legs, Stella was knelt right in between them

Fred’s painfully-throbbing shaft was rigid and ready for her claiming.

Ethereal butterflies entered her stomach en masse as the adrenaline surged through her system. Her heart beat furiously and her mouth salivated.

“Fucks sake, Stel’,” Fredrick groaned, fidgeting in his position. “You keep teasing me like this and I’m gonna shoot prematurely like some teenager.”

Stella rolled her eyes, banking her head toward his with a raised eyebrow.

“Did that teenager happen tae be you, mate?” she shot back with a devilish smirk.

She then slid her palm up the length of his shaft before squeezing and extorted another globule of precum.

Fredrick hummed in approval but still mustered enough mental clarity to attempt last words of the conversation:

“Mmm… that’s hilarious Miss ‘I came twice from getting tongued last week in the span of a few minutes,’” he said.

Stella giggled one of her girly laughs, then proceeded to lay her left hand across Fred’s lower abdomen to allow her better range of motion and ‘face time’ with Fredrick’s dick.

She flicked her eyes back up at her stallion, her golden pools veiled by dual layers of her eyelashes and her bangs.

“Shut the fuck up. I’mma make ye blow the biggest fuckin’ load of yer life very soon,” she challenged.

And with that, Stella brought her lips close to his tip, took a long, satisfying whiff of Fredrick’s initial musk...

...and then took her first tentative lick up his length in kind.

Her longer, flatter pony-tongue on his shaft sent Fredrick’s mind into overdrive. Pure, unadulterated pleasure shot through his core, heating him up at an instant.

Stella’s tongue ending at the head of his dick and pressing her tongue-tip onto his hole only made things that more heavenly.

And once that was accomplish, Fredrick was powerless to stifle the soft, but quite noticeable moan out of his throat.

“Fuuuck!”

“Mhmmm!” Stella hummed, letting her mouth just barely eclipse his tip. Her little action sent a few stalwart vibrations through his cock, further adding to Fredrick’s onset of pleasure-ful agony.

She then delivered the tiniest suckle, garnering what she could of his leakage right from the source; it would have been a shame to let it go to waste otherwise, in her mind.

Perhaps Fredrick was not as blessed as she was, to have an essence that tasted so sweet that they could not help but lap it up until there was no more to give. Fredrick tasted much like any of the other stallions that she had bestowed the privilege of fellatio on.

However, in Fredrick’s case, he was addicting in his own way.

His struggled attempts to stop himself from whining and giving into his fantasies entirely also contributed to Stella’s entire experience.

As she lowered her mouth around Fred’s dick, tantalizingly slowly taking inch by inch of him, Stella was distinctly aware of a profound heat between her legs.

Then, she began to truly suck him as Fred’s entire length finally disappeared into her maw.

Fredrick, by all accounts, was a wee bit more than pleased at the current pace of events. As Stella’s deliberate suction became much more intense, he found himself struggling to maintain a clear, coherent mind.

This proved more challenging when Stella had reached the base of his dick, and let her eyes fall closed.

The thestral inhaled deeply, breathing in his musk at the source… a musk that threw her senses in a tailspin of emotion and carnal longing.

She then began her agonizing ascent back up his pole as she wreathed her tongue around him.

Stella lapped the underside on her way up and threatened to let his dick spring free from her mouth with how far up she was retreating…

...but that never happened.

In fact, Stella tactically ended right where she started: Fredrick’s tip.

Her coltfriend was both in significantly better and worse shape than when Stella started; it depended on the metric one elected to measure.

“Jeeeesus Christ Stella…” Fredrick huffed out, dwelling on the fact that Stella just took him in entirety with the greatest of ease.

Stella removed herself from his dick just this once so far. She freed him from her mouth with a wet ‘pop’ and deep breath to culminate her first foray into the first (of many) blowjobs of their relationship.

She gazed up upon him with those lidded, sex-drunk eyes and bitten lip whilst her hand felt downward toward his sack… then reclaimed its mantle on the base of Fred’s dick.

And with an oh-so innocent tone, she tossed out a reminder:

“Mmm, I’m just gettin’ started love. Remember what I said?

“Biggest. Load. Of. Yer. Life.”

And on her final declamation, she swallowed his dick down to her positioned hand, and initiated a rhythmic bobbing.

“Holy shit… fuck…” Fredrick struggled, his brow already becoming matted with sweat and his muscles tensing.

Both of his hands wove into Stella’s locks of her mane and lavished her with the head-scratches that she had come to enjoy so much… well, as best as he could given his current predicament. To help convey the fact that her work was well-received, Fredrick also massaged her ears when able.

And with Stella feeling his fingers on her scalp and ears, this told her everything she needed to know, and she decided to double down on her efforts.

Each time she descended on his dick, she would tighten her seal around him, pressing her tongue flat around his circumference while she sucked… but on her upstrokes, she would lap her muscle against the underside of the cock that she was beginning to memorize.

As she would ascend, her assisting hand would resume its corkscrew-stroking maneuvers on the neglected portions of Fred’s length.

Finally, once she had ascended to the apex of his prick, Stella opted to clean up the mess of precum he made with a couple swirls of her tongue.

The cycle would then promptly begin anew.

To top it all off, Stella was enjoying herself fully, and she let Fredrick know just how much she loved sucking his cock when she delivered a nigh-orgasmic-grade moan right to the head of his dick.

She also emphasized with rather prominent slurps.

If Frederick's shuddering and fidgeting to fight off the inevitable so soon was any indication, he really enjoyed that.

And in figuring out exactly what made Fredrick tick in this position, Stella set off to work once more.

She resumed her bobbing on his cock, her rhythmic strokes in tandem, her precision licks and laps of his length, and her suckles of his tip.

It was a whole process that she developed for Fredrick after at last getting to explore the part of him that made her cum nice and hard a week ago.

Fredrick, as he was known, was not much of a moaner, but Stella was damn-sure trying to make him one.

Though she waded into unknown territory with him, she quickly figured out, much to his pleasant surprise and moderate chagrin, everything that even he didn’t know made him twitch in the best ways.

Even more evil of her, she was keeping her pace nice and steady. Once her firmness and determination had picked up, she plateaued it by gauging his reaction as to how close he was to giving her her ultimate prize.

She wasn’t going to end it that fast. Stella was still having her fun.

But as Fredrick was focusing on just how good Stella was making him feel, reflex had taken over in his lower body, and his hips began rocking upward during Stella’s downstrokes.

Stella felt it immediately once his head had kissed the back of her mouth, and after one more round, she pried herself off of his cock with another deep inhale. A thick strand of saliva mixed with Fred’s pre-essence served to keep her mouth connected to his member.

“Heh… guess yer enjoyin’ that huh? And now ye wanna fuck me face? Spoilt much?” she questioned with faux disbelief.

Fredrick, abashed, responded with a mere:

“Sorry about that; kinda got lost in your expert treatment,’ he chuckled.

Stella placed her free hand on Fred’s right thigh and her sticky, left hand on Fredrick’s left, positioning herself above Fredrick’s spire once more.

“Well, if ye wanted to, why didn’t ya say so, hmm?”

With a cute ‘nom,’ Stella inhaled Fredrick’s phallus back down to the base, then pulled back up to its center and flashed her eyes up at her man.

And then, she winked.

Having received the signal Fredrick returned Stella’s sultry look and resumed his hip bucking, pushing his cock straight to the back of her throat on each upstroke.

And this was a new experience entirely; Fredrick had never done this with any other girl, but with the way Stella was just the right amount of vice-like around his dick, he might as well have been fucking her properly.

Of course, perhaps that was a mild exaggeration to the coherent part of his mind, but to the rest of it, bathing in a sea of electric ecstasy, it might as well have been the same.

Fred picked up his tempo out of reflex and heightened pleasure, but Stella—eyes closed—checked his pace with a firm squeeze of both of his inner thighs, letting him know to slow down just a tad.

She took pride in her sexual ability, but she was no miracle worker nor porn star by any means!

Each time Fredrick’s pole disappeared into her hungry muzzle, Stella slurped and emitted a low gag, though she was not in any danger of activating her reflex; she could put it under some control. Further, one thing that she was thankful for was the anatomical difference in Fred’s penis as opposed to other stallions’.

It was more conducive to giving head; and Stella was more than happy with this, and would employ it in the future.

Fredrick loved how Stella’s saliva leaked out of her mouth and continued to coat his dick to the point where it was nice and slick, easily sliding in and out of her mouth… all thanks to her tongue working its expert magic on his underside.

His breathing was much heavier and his attention to the mare fellating him had to be fleeting lest things end messily a little too soon.

He wasn’t at that point just yet, but once the slippery pleasure slope started downward there was very little chance of turning back.

Fredrick had to be strong.

For Stella.

For America!

“Stella you’re...mmm fuck… you’re way too good at this,” he strained out.

Stella, for her part, giggled around his cock… which did not make his situation any less dire.

With a final, gargantuan slurp to accompany unsheathing his dick from her mouth, Stella separated herself, her breathing a little worse for wear. Her brow was now equally as slick as Fredrick’s, and the human could see that her mane was messier around the bangs.

Her eyes though…

The few-second lull in their lewd act seemed to magnify when their eyes met each other once more.

Fredrick was the most struck when he stared into his marefriend’s profound pools; her windows to her deepest feelings.

Those slitted pupils were dilated, and in conjunction with her bright-golden irises that seemed to amplify their luminescence in the dim lighting, Fred felt genuinely insecure.

She stared back at him in inebriation, with lasciviousness…

...and with amore.

“Alright,” she finally voiced, nuzzling up between his legs again.

Out of reflex, she palmed up and massaged her own breasts, pinching her nipples as she kissed Fred’s ultra-slick tip.

“This’s what’s gonna happen, love…” she began.

“Hmm?” Fred beckoned her onward, propping himself up a little higher with his elbows.

Her next words began equally as sultry as they were an implicit, imperious command… smooth, sexy, and frighteningly, they rolled off her tongue:

“Yer gonna cum… and yer gonna cum right on me fuckin’ tongue; yer gonna fill me mouth up whenever yer ready. I’m only gonna use me mouth, and you get tae watch me fondle these tits ya love so much.

“And you do not look away. Got it?” she finished.

Just the way she spoke said command made Fredrick harder than he had ever been this evening. He nodded slowly. His throbbing was on the verge of painful when combined with his ache for release.

“Y-Yeah, Stel’.”

The mare in question grinned, snagging her lower lip with one of her fangs.

“Good…”

And without further ado, her hands resumed massaging her breasts while she re-engulfed the top half of Fredrick’s dick.

His reaction was immediate, but despite all odds, he kept his eyes fully trained on her while she voraciously resumed her bobbing on his rod.

Stella gave no quarter much like she would an enemy on the battlefield. Her slick tongue lathered Fredrick’s cock and ensured no spot was left uncovered by a saliva-precum solution.

Her ministrations picked up pace, her sucking was much more defined and her mouth was snug around his shaft.

Nothing would escape her gob.

Not on Stella’s watch.

Further, despite all odds, Fredrick kept to Stella’s command and never tore his wanting gaze away from Stella’s wanton one.

The way she looked, how dirty she presented herself was the proverbial icing on the cake of their little session.

Each time she bobbed downward, her eyes stared wide up at Fredrick’s, wide with a false sense of innocence that only drove him rabid with sexual longing for her. Their location damned, Fredrick had half a mind to remove her, pin her against a wall, and fuck her until she was a stammering, tongue-lolling mess.

But, that was not destined to happen… at least yet.

This rang truer when Fredrick’s loins warned him of the inevitable; he had passed that critical point of no return and the pleasure that Stella had been lavishing him with for the past ten minutes had catalyzed the endgame.

“Stella…” Fredrick warned breathily. “I’m close, okay?”

Never relenting in her secure, literal suction grip, Stella ceased her faster ministrations, fluttered her eyelashes up at him, and squeezed her perfect bosom between her biceps for extra aerial viewing pleasure.

But most importantly, as Fredrick ascended the cliffs of impending orgasm, Stella slowed down her motions and was painstakingly meticulous in her bobs. Her eyes continued to bore into Fredrick’s soul as she continued to suck, but each lurch forward and back of her muzzle was calculated for maximum stimulation for her lover.

Fredrick gripped the sheets beneath him but it was of little use; he had held off long enough and with Stella’s earlier permission, he opted to lose himself in what he would confirm would likely be one of his hardest orgasms ever. That peak called to him, extended its benevolent hand to him and beckoned him up that last step to euphoria.

“Mmmm?!” Stella implicitly inquired, cocking her head much too cutely for Fred to take at the moment.

Her tail lashed from side to side in great eagerness; this was exactly everything she could hope for right now!

Fredrick confirmed with the proper haste of someone who was about to burst like a fire hydrant.

“Fuck… yeah! Right fucking now, Stella…” he delivered his final warning.

Such a warning was happily heeded, as Stella slowed her previous workings even more.

With a final act that she gauged just in time, she opened her mouth to present Fredrick his dick being pampered on the flat of her tongue… cradled and acting as the perfect target he could not hope miss.

As Stella had forecast, that final sight was the act that careened him over the edge and soared him to orgasmic heights as he jettisoned his first salvos of his hot, creamy essence into her mouth.

The first large globules annihilated her tongue in a thick coat of white while the sheer volume of his deposit continued to make a mess of the walls of her greedy mouth.

Stella moaned in tandem with Fredrick as she nearly came from the feeling and the gratification of making him feel this amazing. His taste was exactly what she had expected from a normal male, though perhaps she was not expecting the volume and viscosity of his load.

Nevertheless, she gave Fredrick perfect view of his rod laying waste to the very instrument that brought him such rapture; a figurative claim to a part of her body that was his and his only.

Oh how Stella trembled at that amazing thought… of belonging. The vague idea of being sexual property.

When Fredrick’s high petered out, Stella simply closed her maw around him once more.

Finally, with her eyes still squarely trained on Fredrick’s spent, heaving gaze, she forced everything down her gullet with a satisfied hum.

Fredrick, now ultra sensitive to any movement between his legs, burned the image of the last thirty seconds into his brain before he allowed himself to plop down fully onto the bed.

Stella was careful to clean him off gently of any remains; her edict of not wasting anything good was still in full effect, after all.

A simple swirl of her tongue was all that was needed, and then she separated from his dick for the last time of the evening…

...and delivered one final kiss to the head.

“Mwah!” she exaggerated the sound.

She then turned her smug, playfully arrogant smirk up to Fredrick who was no longer there to return her attention.

“Now… how was that?” she asked, though already knew the answer well.

A red-in-the-face, sweaty Fredrick was still in the process of recuperating, and his mind continued to swim in post-coital bliss.

Stella was more than sympathetic, though nothing prevented her from laughing in total victory—restrained due to the time of night, though.

She crawled up beside Fredrick and lay with her arm supporting her head. In a favorite gesture of hers, she began tracing figure-eights on his chest while looming over her former prey.

Fredrick turned his head to look up at his marefriend, and while the lust had receded, that look of unconditional caring remained.

And his bloodflow returned from his exhausted penis back up to his heart, which never failed to be sent racing under that very, aforementioned gaze.

“Wow… I, ummm... not gonna lie, I don’t have any words for that,” he admitted, brushing some of his hair back up to prevent it from matting on his slick brow.

Stella nuzzled her nose into Fredrick’s.

“I know,” she said. “And I’m glad you enjoyed it… really,” she put forth with a softer tone.

With another soft smile, Fred opened his arms to her.

“Let’s go to bed,” he suggested.

But much to his disappointment, Stella swerved around his request for snuggles, instead opting to get to her hooves.

“Nah mate; I gotta go brush me teeth and go fer a slash,” she said.

Stretching herself out in various ways, Fredrick responded with an exaggerated pout.

“Awwww… Stella don’t wanna cuddle?”

Stella turned back to him with a considering expression.

“We could,” she said. “But the thing is, is that I fuckin’ hate mornin’ breath; you do too.

“Also, I just sucked yer dick so hard, yer soul liquified in me fuckin’ gob. Last thing I want is mornin’ cum breath.”

She altered her posture in such a way that conveyed a challenge, throwing her arms open for extra, jesting effect.

“Ye wanna kiss me in the mornin’ with fermented meat juice lacin’ me breath??” she questioned.

And in the end, the man in question had to concede this quite cogent point.

“Fair enough…” he acquiesced. “Then run along and go brush your teeth like a good girl.”

Stella swivelled around on her hooves, but threw her head back in light chuckle at that mention.

“‘Good girl?’ Get fucked, love,” she retorted. “If ye still think I’m a ‘good girl,’ ye may wanna make sure ya don’t leave yer phone and its good camera fer too long with me…” she alluded in a sing-song tone as she made her way out her door.

She closed it behind her without another word.

Fredrick blinked at her little assertion, and like any suspicious person, immediately darted for his phone that he had left on Stella’s nightstand.

Picking up his device and unlocking it with the fingerprint, he navigated the UI to the Photos app and brought up the first picture in the list that he did not recognize…

...that being, a simple picture of Stella in her barracks, right after one of their outings from the last week.

Taken with the front-facing camera, she donned one of her sexiest, smuggest expressions while lifting out the collar of her v-neck just enough for lewdness. She even managed to apply a light filter of sorts.

By: G-Hyze

He blinked once.

Then again.

And he donned a one-sided smirk with an accompanying shake of his head.

“You slay me. You know that?”

Her selfie game was getting much-too good for someone who didn’t understand a lick of the technology involved; Fredrick had created a monster.

And he loved every second of it.

With no one on this world to judge him, he made a few quick manipulations and set that very picture as his phone’s lockscreen.

Stella closed her room’s door behind her and stretched her arms over her head once again, breathing out a more-than satisfied sigh at the last fifteen minutes’ events.

But as she moved through the darkness towards the bathroom that was just down the hall, her hoof accidentally nudged what she knew was undoubtedly another hoof right outside her door.

She glanced down to see whom she bumped into, and with unfazed familiarity, she whispered:

“Didn’t think you’d still be here. I even gave ya time tae evacuate, you twat.”

“Shut up…” Sveta replied, slumped against the wall, doing her best to control her heavy breathing, with a used hand being withdrawn from her waistline between her legs.

“Just shut the fuck up.”

Stella responded with a barely audible ‘pfft.’

“Fine, cunt; see if I ever help you again,” she said, stepping over her legs as she moved to stroll onward, revelling in her erotic high.

“You c’n go back tae wankin’ over yer fukkin’ vintage-ass fuckin’, classy-stallion fuckin’ bullshit erotica novels an’ fanfictions fer all I care.”

And as the thestral guardsmare sashayed with a purpose down the hall, Sveta was able to manage a properly whispered:

“I know. Cheers! Thank you!”

Stella raised her hand in acknowledgement without turning back.

“Aye. Go tae bed, will ye. Don’t wanna deal with yer bitchin’ in the mornin’.”

Author's Note

The amazing picture, in case you didn't catch the above link, was done by G-Hyze, and the direct source to his DA is right here. He does INCREDIBLE work!

Had to bring everything back into focus where it counted: the odd couple and their dynamic. Cute, ain't they? :rainbowlaugh:

As well as a twist of spicie-ness.

Eees a so spicie.

14. Odds and Ends of the Sabre

Author's Note

Got lots of things happening in this chapter, many of which I needed to cover. Now you'll understand why I chose to separate the first part out into what's now Chapter 13.

Also, I stole a small piece of dialogue from somewhere near and dear to me. Bonus internets if you can point out the true easter egg exchange and tell me where it was from.

14. Odds and Ends of the Sabre

[Morning]

The front door of the Sabre household swung inward, and the trio of Stella, Sveta, and Fredrick all exited out into the morning for their first breath of fresh air.

All still had some sleepiness in their eyes despite morning showers and sprucing up, so the three of them had to eliminate some residual crust with the back of their hands. Further, a group stretch was in order.

For Fredrick, he gazed upon the majesty that was the top of their mountain dome, finding the morning sun obscured by the same rolling clouds that he had come to appreciate from the day before. Also like yesterday, a blanket of ethereal white floated to the ground and wreathed the entirety of Thestralshire in a cool blanket of early-day mist.

Said mist contributed to the shimmering dew that was present on all plant-life.

Yet, despite the group opting for more spring-esque clothing, it was not uncomfortable in the slightest.

Stella was, as per usual, not one for extravagance and decided to sport her usual wear in the form of a blue V-neck and some dark denim pants. Her mane was neatly groomed and glowing in its usual ponytail style, along with that perfect coif of her tail to boot. A Lunar Guard patch was placed on the upper right breast area, on proud display to the entire world.

Fredrick learned recently that the Guards Force had a sort of ‘swag shop.’ He was a little dumbfounded, to say the least.

On the other hand, Sveta was one to wear her norm as well, with a pink V-neck t-shirt, some respectable-length shorts and a light jacket around her shoulders. Her mane-style mimicked that of her older sister and she distinctly fashioned her widows peak-esque style with locks framing her face.

All Fred knew was that if Sveta was in an anime, she’d easily be the main character.

And then there was he: a black polo shirt with some jeans. These mares could probably be completely nude next to him and he’d still somehow manage to look underdressed, not that he would mind in that regard.

Both sisters decided on a mutual stretch of sorts, reading each other’s minds as they hefted their hands and chests into the air in a back-bowing, whine-inducing extension.

“So,” Fredrick butt in while his mind was now fresh and ready for what as to be thrown at him. Eye candy in the form of the two batpony mares further acted as the caffeine to his fatigued body.

He placed his arm around Stella’s waist.

“Remind me of the plan for today?”

Stella bounded into the air with a mighty leap to stretch out her legs, landing on her hooves with a cute little bounce.

“Well, as I explained earlier; I need tae collect some potential recruit documents from one of the army recruiting outposts here. We’re lookin’ tae bring on some new sets of hooves fer the Lunar Guard Force and it’d be easier and cheaper if I just brought the few boxes back with me.”

Fredrick's face lit up in familiarity.

“Right!” he exclaimed, nodding. “And you gotta split off a little later, right?”

Stella nodded eagerly.

“Yup! But after breakfast or something; not right now. I’m fuckin’ starvin’, mate,” she noted.

And at that moment it appeared that all agreed as three stomachs simultaneously issued a proclamatory growl, demanding immediate satiation.

“So…” Fredrick decided to be the voice for everyone present.

“Breakfast?”

Sveta pointed both her fingers down the road, her face lighting up with an already well-placed idea for eating time.

“Right this way!”

The trio fell into step with each other as they made their way off the Sabre property and into the main streets of Thestralshire. With Fredrick situated strictly in the middle—a place that he was quite comfortable being in when it concerned two gorgeous mares—his attention could be drawn either direction when Stella or Sveta would point out something of interest to him.

Being the literal center of conversation was cool, too.

The main streets of the market section of the entire city were much more crowded than the suburban areas, though this was to be expected.

Still, Fredrick felt that occasionally nudging elbows with other ponies hoofing it in the other direction was no issue; he had been in much worse conditions in Los Angeles and New York City when he would visit family.

Less of a chance of getting stabbed, too.

Fredrick did also have to give credit where credit was due: ponies were upstanding and much politer than he had expected! Of course, swear words were like second nature to every single inhabitant, whether it had been a child, to some of the oldest thestrals he had ever seen.

Fredrick had to convince himself that he heard a little batpony filly—holding hands with her father—say the word ‘cunt’ in nonchalant passing.

Nopony in public seemed to mind either.

When in Rome…

As for Thestralshire itself, Fredrick was struck by how dissimilar to Canterlot the architecture and civil planning were. He noted how the contemporary and traditional seemed to intermingle when it came to full amenities, sidewalks, and serviceable roads all right next to crude bricklaying… and how everything was oddly not dissimilar to some more ancient, earthly civilizations from back on his world.

The eating and market district of Noctus Street was chock-full of larger structures that had an almost flashy Roman appeal to them… yet the smaller shops and occasional residence looked strictly Celtic with the Roundhouse building technique. This row of bustling shops was like any other street he had seen in Canterlot or even Ponyville, save for the prevalence of cobblestone and concrete sidewalks.

As the three of them (of whom Stella and Sveta jabbered incessantly about anything and everything) strode down the right side of the street, Fredrick felt that nothing could abate the sheer happiness he was radiating. His own teeth-baring smile was almost a match for Stella’s, especially when anyone would crack a joke and they consequently enter a series of maniacal cackling in public.

Yeah, Fred was feeling pretty awesome at the moment.

Their synchronized stroll was interrupted when Sveta yanked he and Stella into a seemingly random establishment.

Once Fredrick got reoriented, he recognized it as a simple order-at-the-counter eatery. Stella seemed to know exactly where they were, and she joined her sister as they sauntered up to the counter. Several tables were set on either side parallel to the entrance and leaving a wide-open path to the ordering counter. The decor reminded him distinctly of a 50s diner, though with Equestrian tastes sprinkled all over… more specifically, Northern batpony stylistic choices.

Fredrick took this moment to figure out what he was dealing with in terms of food selection.

A slightly raspy accent that he had come to enjoy over the course of the last few months graced his ears and faltered his concentration.

“Oi, dickhead!” Stella called back, yanking Fredrick out of his pensive stupor from the entrance.

“Ya comin’ tae eat?”

Sveta weighed in as the sister duo patiently awaited their turn in line, nudging her side.

“He hasn’t been here before, retard. Let ‘im decide!”

Stella’s jesting exterior was washed over with a layer of realization.

“Oh. Right. Correction: hurry up. Dickhead!”

Free of Stella’s input for the moment, Fredrick scanned over the menu up high above the counter. It detailed an assortment of different fruit dishes ranging from single fruit bases, or fruit salads. Combos included three different additions of toppings, much like a frozen yoghurt bar would afford him.

While Fredrick understood that batponies had a fang for fruit as per their biological needs, he did not spy a lick of protein on the menu save for milk. He had been one to always gorge on breakfast meats so this was a new experience in and of itself.

And if this was how thestrals diets were consistently, the human pondered exactly how Stella managed to keep her muscular form from atrophying from sheer carb overload on leave.

At least she’d never get a case of scurvy.

“Alright!” Fredrick announced, rejoining Stella and Sveta.

He placed a hand around their shoulders and mockingly supported himself with their stature.

“Get whatever y’all want. It’s on me, okay?”

Both Sabre sisters angled their gazes toward Fredrick in identical, stony expressions. Sveta was first to reply with:

“Sure! I’ll get me a bowl of ‘get fucked I c’n pay fer me goddamn self, ya shoe-wearin’, shaved snatch.’”

Stella giggled heavily into her hand.

“CHHHK! She called ya a ‘shaved snatch.’ That was pretty good!”

But even with her lightheartedness at Sveta's outright refusal, Stella had to lean into her field of view and deliver her advice against said refusal.

“Just let it happen, mate. He ain’t gonna budge on this. Believe me, I’ve fuckin' tried but I’ve found the one thing this lovable twat is iron-willed on.”

Fredrick redirected his playful yet serious expression back at Sveta, who was alternating her own gaze between her sister and the human.

With a begrudging sigh, she relented.

“Fine.”

Fredrick brightened up and pulled both mares in for a partial hug by their waists.

“Good shit, girls! And as I said, get what you want. All expenses paid for.”

Stella purred as the three of them stepped in front of the ordering counter.

“Oooh~ does this mean I get to take you home after this an’ fuck yer brains out?”

Sveta rolled her eyes while Fredrick scoffed at Stella’s ‘usual.’

“Hehe keep talking like that and you’ll find out that I don’t enjoy being on bottom for my protection,” he challenged, which earned an even more pronounced coo from his thestral marefriend.

Sveta had no will to fight the urge to plant her face in her hands, running her palms down her cheek as she took in the sheer shamelessness of these two.

“Okay, since when did you become so forward?” she questioned, wresting herself out of Fredrick’s grip and smoothing out her shirt.

Stella leaned her entire form against Fred’s steady one, beaming up at his face with pride.

“He has his moments…”

“AHEM,” the batpony mare behind the counter garnered their attention, profusely blushing all the while from the negligent, profoundly inappropriate display of public affection.

And just like that, Fredrick remembered where he was and his swell of confidence receded back into the depths of his core, re-manifesting itself as a rush of heat to his cheeks. He averted his gaze, running his hand over the nape of his neck.

Stella was quite foreign to the emotion of embarrassment, and instead busted out laughing at being caught on the verge of dirty talk in public… not that she would have cared, personally, but the mare lived to see Fredrick squirm.

Sveta, instead, let them have their moment and stepped forward, leaning with hands on the counter.

“Aye, sorry ‘bout these two wankers ‘ere. I’ll just have an açai bowl. Fuck it up with banana while yer at it, please.”

With Sveta having to act like the eldest of the group, the other two took the hint and ordered their food without incident. Fredrick felt the best option would be to follow Stella’s recommendation, which was essentially a fruit salad bowl that looked extra fancy—he couldn’t place exactly why that was, probably the color arrangement.

Some protein would have also been nice, but in the company of two ‘cool’ mares, he could not rightly complain.

Breakfast out in his first temperate morning in Thestralshire was filled with picking up the incessant conversation from before… as well as much talking with full mouths. And with full mouths, came an actual, tangible danger to Fredrick’s life in the form of Stella’s vocabulary.

It was not uncommon for her to try and make him laugh uproariously when the two of them were eating… for the sole purpose that he would have to stop himself from choking to death while Stella would point and laugh at him in tandem.

And the cycle would continue into eternity.

Sveta looked on at the bantering couple with a deadpan as she chewed her food, elbow and open palm supporting the side of her face.

And in a manner most befitting of her family name, the young, teal one voiced:

“Do you lot ever shut the fuck up? Legitimate question from a concerned family member.”

Fredrick went back to chewing his food while Stella swiveled back in her seat to face her sister. Her retort was as swift as it was both sarcastic and smug.

“It’s fun tae banter and talk with someone who gets you so well… not like you’d understand ‘r anythin’, Svet. Gotta have a coltfriend tae really get what I’m talkin’ about, so…”

Sveta returned a half-hearted, obviously fake laugh as she brought her full spoon to her mouth.

“Hilarious,” she replied dryly…

…then without a single measure of forethought, tacked on a subtle:

“Looks like ye only shut up when ya suck his cock, too…”

And only when that last breath rolled off her tongue did Sveta realize what she said, though she kept her body-wide stiffening under wraps.

From her perspective, Fredrick appeared not to take any notice of that comments implication, as he went right back to giggling hysterically at Stella’s expense—in her eyes, he had come to insert himself quite easily in their horribly sexual-laden banter.

“Jesus, Sveta! PFFT! You go straight for the jugular!”

Stella—forcing a chortle to save face—belied her amusement to Sveta’s comment with her golden eyes promising certain death by how hard she was staring at her.

She further hammered home that point when her hoof nearly crushed Sveta’s own under the table. The latter was careful not to show a single shred of reaction to any of this.

She got the message when her ankle almost snapped under pressure.

“Hehe, yeah!” Stella muttered through her teeth and wide, dagger-glaring eyes. “You’re just so fuckin’ funny, aren’t you? It’s a wonder I trust you with anything if you’ll just make fuckin’ hilarious jokes.”

Sveta had already formulated her response that, in her mind, would have quelled all suspicion if there was any.

“Hey, you know me, mates! I don’t hold back with me jokes… and neither should you, Fred,” she said, steering the conversation away from the currently forbidden topic.

Fredrick, for his part, took it and ran with it, as the subject spotlight was back on him.

He shrugged, chuckling as she spooned another bit of granola-crusted acai into his mouth.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, mates,” he concluded, emphasizing that extra bit of false accent on his final word.

One which he knew would draw the immediate attention and accompanying ire of his hosts.

Both batponies regarded him with forced indifference, borderline cringe as he made the worst possible attempt to mimic their way of speaking.

Before their responses flooded his senses, Fred took this moment to relish in how many times he had taken on a rather terrible mimic of Stella’s accent. Though she found it humorous in lesser frequencies, a bit of experimentation yielded the fact that Stella would be eternally triggered if he would mess up any of her slang.

And the inevitable stern rollicking over it only added to the hilarity as Fredrick would attempt to banter back in kind… adding a cycle of fuel to the fire until Stella would almost get legitimately mad at him.

My, how she was just so fun to rile up, in his eyes.

“I really need tae start teaching ya how tae do a proper Northern accent. Fuck me, mate…” Stella voiced.

She then squeezed his earlobe, evoking a pained groan out of the human as he gave into her motions.

Sveta also had a few words to add, though of a more pressing nature.

“While I’d love tae rip off the other stubby ear fer that shoddy performance… Stella, isn’t it gettin’ a bit late for ye?”

Stella swallowed her mouthful with frightening force as her eyes widened. With her trademark lack of any semblance of shame, she shoved her hand down Fred’s pocket and felt around for his phone… which she found after accidentally squeezing his covered shaft in the process.

She took an extra squeeze… for good luck, of course, especially when Fredrick stiffened as hard as his dick did in the process.

Yanking his smartphone out of his pocket which was calibrated for Equestrian time, she indeed realized that the Northern Recruiting Center was expecting her in the next twenty minutes.

“Shit! Yer right. I gotta fuck off outta ‘ere!”

In a move that brought no small manner of shock to Fredrick’s face, she dumped the sizeable remnants of her fruit bowl into her mouth, chewed once, then swallowed the entire contents without a shred of trouble. She then placed his phone back into his pocket and tapped it for safekeeping.

She also took another squeeze.

And in his mind, Fred figured that the previous night’s debauchery could be much better explained by this demonstration in front of him.

“Also!” Stella moved to add one last point. “We need tae have a movie night with that series you and I watched about a month ago on yer phone!” she said.

Fredrick cocked his head. They had watched a lot of stuff on their free time.

“Sure! Which one was it?”

Stella began drawing a blank, and she tapped her forehead a couple of times in any attempt to jostle her memory.

“Achh… fuck it was the movies about the fuckin’... ah! The mane dresser! The fuckin’ space mane dresser!”

Both Fredrick and Sveta cocked an eyebrow at that statement, but Fredrick angled his face away from his marefriend as he tried to wrack his own mind as to what she could be talking about.

“Umm…”

“Aye! He’s got like, a tinfoil pal and a fuckin’ pedal bin that follow ‘im around.” Stella followed up excitedly.

Fredrick’s initial gaze never wavered, and Stella twirled her hand to drum up more thoughts. Her face brightened when she remembered another key detail:

“Oh! His father’s a fuckin’ robot and he’s fuckin’ fucked his sister!”

Fredrick and Sveta remained as confused as one another, yet the former had a mild suspicion:

“Are… are you fuckin’ talking about Star Wars?” he ventured to ask.

Stella’s eyes seemed to sparkle in deep recognition.

“Aye! That's the one! Let's watch later!”

Stella wiped her mouth off on her forearm and brought Fredrick’s face in for a quick, yet ever meaningful four-second kiss with an accompanying ‘mwah!’ to boot.

She then rattled off her goodbye to him as she fumbled to her hooves out of her seat.

“Toodles, love! Have fun with Sveta!” she finished with another hug.

Stella stumbled over to her sister and lavished her with what Fredrick only saw as a normal hug—a gesture shared amongst family members who were especially close as these two batponies were.

“And you!” Stella said aloud, pulling her sister into a one-armed embrace. “Take care of him, aye? I expect this cunt back in the same or better condition than when I lent him to ye.”

Sveta rolled her eyes.

“Don’t worry. Your ‘hunny bunny’ won’t be any worse fer wear.”

Stella then leaned closer so her lips barely graced Sveta’s right ear and delivered unto her particular words of advice… ones which belied her flippant smile.

“…and if you ever accidentally let this shit slip out again… and I have to explain to him why I let ye frig yerself while he fucked me face… I’ll rub me fuckin’ flaps all over yer guitars before I set them on fire. Understood?”

Sveta made sure to keep her narrow, pretty face completely stoic.

As an observer to the few seconds of secrecy, Fredrick took note of how Sveta carried more of a ‘resting bitch face’ as opposed to Stella, who would smile constantly. While Sveta was just as prone to exploding into laughter, he had already noted that one major difference between the two sisters was the younger one’s propensity to explode with violent, yet incredibly short bouts of anger before rebounding back to her happy self.

Plus, she lacked the snaggle-fangs of her older sister. The contours of her lips were perfectly curved with her mouth sans pearly-white interruption.

Then there was Stella who just had that ass of hers on display as she delivered whatever important message she needed to. Naturally, Fredrick was more fixated on this development.

“Crystal,” came Sveta’s enigmatic reply.

Stella righted her posture and stretched her back and wings out.

“Righto! I’m off tae deal with the fate of the Lunar Guard. Gonna see which muppets we’re gonna recruit next month!”

And with that, she strolled on by the remaining two individuals whilst delivering a casual wave over her shoulder…

…and a wink to Fredrick, which earned a latent blush from him.

“See ya later, masturbators!”

And with that, she threw open the glass door and was out of sight, disappearing into the small crowd of ponies that casually veiled the walkway.

Once Fredrick lost sight of his marefriend, he felt an odd sense of loneliness that pervaded his core for merely a moment… a feeling of incorrect lightness and a flutter in his chest that just felt… wrong. Of course, he knew for a fact this was because he was in unfamiliar territory without his only guide back to ‘civilization.’

His eyes flicked back to Sveta, who went back to eating as per normal.

The plan was for him to get shown around the area by her until Stella could meet back up with them later at home. Though Sveta was already an awesome mare in his eyes, and he felt marginally comfortable around her (her natural allure probably had some weight to this), Fredrick still technically didn’t… know her all that well.

But perhaps, knowing Stella’s unlikely aptitude for foresight, this was most likely an opportunity to do just that.

“So…” Fredrick spoke up, earning Sveta’s attention in the form of her eyes flicking up to him. “And then there were two.”

She cocked an eyebrow.

“You gettin’ fuckin’ awkward with me, mate? After all we’ve been through??”

Fredrick returned her jesting gaze with one of his own, if a bit more sarcastic.

“All eighteen hours or so?”

Sveta slammed her fist on the tabletop, rousing sudden, rapt attention from nearby patrons as she got to her hooves.

Fredrick recoiled abruptly and had a subtle, nascent urge to shit his pants—especially at a most familiar, dare he say, identical, bollocking face that would give him ‘Nam flashbacks.

She thrust an index finger right to the forefront of his vision.

“Don’t get fuckin’ sarcastic with me, you pale cunt, ye!” she nearly roared, leaning forward as she pressed her snout to his nose.

“Courtesy of Stel’, I can remove yer sphincter in fifty different ways with me fuckin’ pinkie,” she declared, waggling one of her aforementioned digits for good measure.

So close was she, Fred couldn’t even bear witness to yet another down-shirt for the record books.

A slight, primal urge to flee the establishment festered within him, but that was, of course, just instinct. Fredrick knew better than to fear Stella’s sister when he was in the former’s excellent graces—but that didn’t stop his body from wreathing his hairline in the lightest sheen of moisture.

Fredrick responded in the way he knew most when dealing with Stella’s random antics… with an emotionlessness that he had perfected over the last few months:

“Looks like you need to eat a Snickers with that açai bowl.”

It was Sveta’s turn to blink those sapphire eyes of hers. She cocked her head as she retreated.

“…What?”

“Yeah, apparently you also turn into a gnarly wench when you’re hungry.”

“PFFT!” Sveta stifled impending guffaw at Fredrick’s word choice.

Folding her lips inward, she sat back down while Fred regained his normal posture—victory was evident on his face.

“Okay mate, that was pretty good. Yer right though, I definitely can be, as you say a gnarly wench,” she confessed.

Sveta crossed her arms under her chest, and her right ear flicked while she donned a more serious posture.

“If ye knew me well enough, you’d know that that’s how I joke around—a mite more extreme than Stella, I’ll admit, but believe it’r not mate, I’m actually the more… bombastic of the two of us in larger doses. And nicer.” she went on to explain.

And while Fredrick took that to heart, with how much he had been around Stella, the mare’s claim evoked a raised eyebrow out of him.

“I see… well, you could be for all I know. As I alluded earlier, I don’t really know you as well as your sister. Figured you weren’t serious about wanting to pull my asshole out of my asshole, anyway.”

Sveta smirked, then shrugged.

“And I guess that’s why we’re here, at both Stella’s and my agreement,” she replied with a smile an eagerness that only Fred had only ever seen in her sister.

Fred’s shit-eating grin returned.

“You mean to pull my asshole out of my asshole?”

Sveta emitted a teeny, high-pitched giggle from behind her teeth.

“Well, that too if ya get all nyaffy with me… but from what Stella’s always told me about you, I don’t think that’ll be much of a problem.”

Fredrick leaned back in his chair, brushing a few strands of his hair back into place by his temple.

“Well, if my knowledge of siblings plays any role in this world, my guess is that you were the first pony Stella would go to about juicy gossip or any mare-slash-stallion related news, right?”

Sveta bobbed her head in partial affirmation.

“Yeah, most of the time. Of course, Equestrian tech ain’t all fancy like yer human bullshit, so distance played a little bit of a factor in how long it took information tae get to me. MagicMail still ain’t all that instantaneous.

“So, usually Highground got first dibs on ‘juicy gossip,’” she gestured with an open palm.

“Makes sense,” Fred figured.

The human had long finished his meal—he wasted no time in ‘feeding,’ as he was oft to refer his habits. So, once Sveta had taken her last bite during the trough of their conversation, he figured they were ready to get out of here.

Sveta slid her empty bowl away in front of her.

“Ahh… good shite.”

She thumbed towards the exit with a reinvigorated, knowing smile.

“Wanna fuck off outta ‘ere? I’ll show ya around!”

Fredrick nodded, tapped his palm to the table and stood up tall to stretch out.

“Let’s roll!”

[A Bit Later | Northern Mountain Range Equestrian Army Recruiting Center A]

The plain-clothes Stella did not meet any of her kin’s eyes as she strode past them on the sidewalk many, many streets over from where she left her company.

She navigated the main streets with ease, tactically ebbing through other ponies with barely an audible ‘excuse me’ each time she had to shove her way past. Her hooves clopped along dutifully and her face donned an expression of placid stoicism… one she reserved for when she desired to do a job, do it right, and get it over with as quickly and efficiently as she was able.

Gotta go, gotta go… fuck outta my way, cunts, gotta go~!

She hummed her mantra in her head, and her mental fortitude kept her ever-focused as she envisioned herself back in Fredrick’s embrace and mentally molesting her younger sister…

...not necessarily in that order.

The weather did not give way to sunnier days as Canterlot would when the tens of minutes ticked by, and that was just how Stella preferred it. The smell of petrichor from the previous night and impending rain was heavy, nearly weighing down her other senses but she, as well, would have it no other way. Batponies were naturally stealthier creatures, and by instinct, anything that would mask their presence was a subconscious sense of comfort in what would otherwise be a crowded, unassuming world.

Stella was weird. Her species was weird. She was well aware of this.

After letting her mind run away to less than reputable activities in public, Stella pushed past one last couple that was going a bit too slow for her liking… while occupying the entire right-side of the sidewalk; the corner-building adorned with Royal Military insignias was in plain sight just across a small street in front.

“Pardon me, laddies!” Stella said as she breezed on by, but her shoulder connected with the bare shoulder of the thestral mare of the couple.

She grunted and scowled at Stella strutting away.

“Oi! Ya fakkin’ mind, twat? There’s many nicer ways outta the ‘Shire, love!” came her accented condescension in response to the physical contact.

Stella angled her mouth over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes as she pulled further ahead.

“Aye! One way out is fer you tae sod off the fuckin’ side o’ the mountain, ya lanky cunt!” she barked.

The mare’s jaw dropped unhinged, and her attention was immediately upon her taller, lean coltfriend who’s face had recoiled in abject shock.

“Yer gonna let ‘er talk to me like that??”

He gestured intelligibly ahead and shrugged.

“Umm.. yeah, actually. I ain’t fuckin’ messin’ with that.”

Slowing her pace to a simple stroll, Stella found herself at the front, glass door of her city’s main recruiting center for the nation’s armed forces. It took up space on the corner of the lot with a subtle importance about it, and the inspirational banners of the army, navy, and Royal Guard were emblazoned proudly in its front windows. Such posters caricatured exciting and rewarding careers in service to the Princesses with the promises of adventure, sightseeing, excellent benefits, and bettering of one’s self.

Stella stopped for a moment to appreciate the banners, as they were what helped her make that decision to be the one of her generation of Sabre’s all those years ago. And from all the experience she had to show for it, she figured that said banners mostly delivered.

A crease of a smile made its way up the side of her face, and that snaggle-fang was now on display to the world. A warm feeling diffused throughout her chest and core as Stella reflected upon her now seven year career as a soldier.

Sure, she wasn’t promoted the most aggressively.

Nor did she have grandiose accomplishments that merited the highest medals the Princesses could bestow on anypony.

But in the end, the batpony could proclaim that she was happy with where she was.

She then wrenched herself away from her little nostalgia trip and pushed the door into the establishment. More posters lined the grey walls of the recruiting center, advertising each and every branch available and seeking enlistees.

And a single desk sat near the entrance, where a lone, uniformed, light-blue coated batpony was busy with paperwork. Four other, unstaffed desks lined the interior of the perimeter.

The aforementioned soldier not too busy to notice Stella’s nonchalant entrance.

He flicked his eyes up and spied the thestral mare, then stood up to reveal his nameplate as ‘Silent March.’

“Welcome to the Northern Recruiting Center, citizen!” he spoke authoritatively and with a perfect, porcelain smile. He then adjusted the beret of his Equestrian camouflaged uniform and offered his hand.

“Corporal Silent March, Third Equestrian Army. A pleasure to meet you miss…”

Stella presented her hand in kind and they exchanged a firm grasp, though the foul-mouthed mare easily won out with her normally, borderline-abusive handshakes.

“Sabre. Stella Sabre, and I’m not here tae get recruited. I’m already in the Royal Guard!”

A wave of realization slammed over Silent March.

“Ah!” he exclaimed, signing with a raised index finger. “You’re the Stella Sabre we got advance notice about. Awesome!”

He thumbed over his shoulder.

“We’ve got all the paperwork in the back. Lemme just confirm your identity and we’ll get you on our way, righto?”

Stella beamed her determined grin and shrugged before she reached into her back pocket.

“Sounds fuckin’ great tae me! Here’s me badge,” she said, having fished her golden Lieutenant’s badge out of its confines.

She presented it to the batpony Corporal and he took it up to his face to examine the shimmering badge. He ran his thumb over the engraved nameplate and nodded.

“Wow… never actually seen one of these in real life, to be honest. It’s beautiful! And the date here is recent, too! Congratulations, Ma’am!” he said, saluting.

Stella smiled a lopsided smile, nodding to her conversational partner for the moment.

“Oi, cheers mate… I gotta say, looks like the enlisted ‘re gettin’ younger every year! You look like yer gettin’ stuffed in the barracks lockers every day” she jested, then fished her ID card out of her wallet.

“And here’s me ID.”

Corporal Silent March could not help but laugh at the subtle jab at his younger appearance whilst he took her ID. He compared her badge with it side by side, and seeing no oddities after glancing up at Stella’s face a few times, he handed them both back to her with confidence.

“Surprisingly… not that often. I’m on edge, actually!

“And Everything checks out, Ma’am. I'll go grab the documents. All records are organized in two boxes in alphabetical order for convenience.”

“Sounds good. Cheers, Corporal!” Stella replied, seeing Silent March off toward the back of the room.

He disappeared through a doorway, leaving Stella to her own devices for the time being. She idly stood for a few moments, glancing and shifting her eyes over her surroundings. And ultimately, she crossed her arms behind her back, righted her posture authoritatively, and went for a slow-paced meander around the perimeter.

To the cadence of her hoof clops, Stella eyed each and every poster, informational, and factoid as she scrutinized them all. While their simple art styles had been updated over the years, Stella recognized a decent few of them from when she first entered the recruiting office closer to her home.

She remembered vividly sitting down in front of that enlisted pony and getting read all the great opportunities that would be afforded to her as a soldier of the crown, as well as all the amazing benefits that would come her way; not to mention the accompanying prestige to her and her family.

It all technically happened to her… and her family name remained, so far, untarnished with her actions and merits. Hell, Stella’s eyes glinted at the thought that she was the first pony in the entire Sabre family name to be in a ‘high-ranking’ position in the Royal Guard.

And with how things were going, on top of she being in the good graces of Princess Luna, Stella ever had to contain herself that she had an incredible chance of making Captain of the Lunar Guard.

“Well, look who it is!” came a different, yet in no way unfamiliar female voice that held an air of infuriating dryness.

Unfortunately for Stella’s mood, she knew exactly who the voice originated from, and upon turning on her hooves to face the rear of the room, she found a less than desirable face.

“Nova Blast…” Stella condescended, the right side of her mouth curling upward. “Didn’t know the Army let mentally handicapped ponies climb up the ranks outta quartermasters.”

The violet-coated batpony mare shrugged ambivalently, her features completely unfazed.

“Occasionally interesting things happen in the military,” came the smooth-accented reply and expert deflection of Stella’s insult. “But one thing I never expected to happen was to see you in these offices again. I thought it was a joke that you were dropping by for a visit, especially since you got that high and mighty position in the Guard you were having wet dreams over.”

Nova stepped out onto the main floor in her full army uniform, adjusting her beret over her faded blue, bunned-up mane.

“Further, with all due respect, I think it’s rather remarkable that you haven’t been shot yet.”

Stella, as well, was not shy, and decided to meet her halfway with her hands on her hips. They scanned over one another, though neither adopted any threatening posture as they attempted to find any crack in the other’s proverbial armor.

Indeed, it had always been this way with them.

Nova Blast was a classical ‘rival’ of sorts. Stella and she grew up together and went to the same schools, and were both the ‘selected’ of their families to proudly enlist. While they had gotten into plenty of less-than-playful banter matches, competitions over colts, and shouting contests, Stella was actually pleased to admit that none of this behavior escalated to outright violence.

“In the end, I’m kinda surprised m’self… but then again my juniors actually, fer the most part, actually enjoy me command. If I was in yours I’d probably shoot m’self, tae be honest,” Stella riposted.

Nova snorted once, a single half-smirk crawling up the edge of her face to match Stella’s.

“And the world would be a much brighter place if that happened.”

Both fell silent as their eyes remained locked on one another.

If Stella had to admit anything there was a mutual sense of respect. Rarely did they smile at each other when they were in constant contact during school, and the same could be said for their position now.

And if Stella was to go further than that, even she would admit that Nova’s somewhat shapely chest and ‘cute’ backside was endearing to a point. Well, at least when combined with oddly soft features for a mare in the military… one which gave Nova a ‘baby-face’ and plenty of ammunition for Stella.

“I hope yer not gettin’ the wrong idea that I came tae see you… ‘r anyone else from secondary fer that matter…” Stella cautioned, refusing to let awkwardness get the best of her as she let her left arm fall naturally by her side

“Shame,” Nova replied, then smirked almost whimsically. “And here I thought you were here to see Quasar…”

Stella’s coat bristled the moment the very air of that name graced her eardrum.

“...The fuck does he haftae do with anythin’?” she dared asked, her eyes narrowing.

Calmly, Nova explained:

“Quasar made Division Commander. He’s on inspection of Her Majesties’ facilities in the area. You just missed him yesterday… but he’ll be back tomorrow if you wanted to pop in to say hi and have a cuppa tea,” she added.

That barely noticeable dimple in her cheek made evident by the figurative cheek from her words was ever more peeving for Stella.

“You shittin’ me, mate? He made Division Commander?”

“Mhmm.”

Stella was about to let loose another mini-tirade against the very name of this pony when Silent March waltzed back into the room with two cardboard boxes stacked atop one another.

“Alright, Lieutenant… here’s the documents!” he strained out and skated into the conversation. He set the column of boxes on the nearest desk with a thud that shook the flat top.

And at both the sight of the boxes and the young soldier who carried them, Stella formed a perfect plan in her mind.

“Oi, cheers love!” she exclaimed, brushing past Nova and getting a good look-over at the boxes. She then batted the lids off to ruffle through the files. All the while, she had something to say to Silent:

“Also, I got a job fer you, soldier…”

Silent clicked his heels together and saluted.

“At your command, Ma’am!” he replied.

Nova only looked on with mild, obligatory curiosity.

“Well, when you see the Divisional Commander next…” Stella began, replacing the tops of the packaged boxes and hoisting them both in her grasp with a gentle grunt.

“...I want you tae tell ‘im…. tae break the long end of a broom handle up in his saggy bonehole, aye?”

Silent’s reaction produced a quite noticeable glitch in his form, barely able to process those words.

“Ma-Ma’am?”

With her hands gripping the built-in carrying handles of the cardboard, Stella leaned the small tower against her chest, and turned ninety degrees to allow her head to face Silent.

“I’m not fucking joking, Corporal!” Stella seethed, then backpedaled her way towards the entrance. Her eyes never left the pair standing in the middle of the centre.

With a tone that belied any form of a jesting nature, Stella followed up with:

“And I’mma come back tomorrow tae make sure you complied with an order... or I’ll crush yer bollocks under these fuckin’ boxes ‘til they look like watercolor blotches on a Mareitonian paintin’!”

Stella’s tone then softened as she redirected her attention to Nova.

“Lovely catchin’ up, mate. See ya around! Pip pip. Fuckity you!”

And with that, she had pushed through the glass door whence she came and let it slam behind her as she strode down the street with loot in tow. Her remaining job was to drop these off at home and get a headstart on sorting through them. She figured she’d let Sveta and Fredrick continue getting to know each other.

Back in the recruiting center, a stunned silence fell upon the remaining duo.

“Uhhh… Ma’am?” Silent dared to ask. “Was she serious?”

Nova, arms crossed under her chest, shrugged.

“Knowing her, probably.”

The young soldier’s pale skin did little to color back to normal at his commanding officer’s less-than assuring words. His ears lay atop his head as she gazed at his leader questioningly.

“Does she have authority over me?”

“Only when I’m not around. You answer directly to me, otherwise. You should know this,” Nova replied. Both she and Silent were still deep in their own thoughts staring at where Stella had graced them with her parting words.

“Should I even think about complying then?”

“Well that depends, Corporal. How much do you value your career?”

[Elsewhere…]

“Well, that’s really where all the interestin’ shit is, tae be honest…” Sveta said after the conclusion of a small tour. Thestralshire was not that large at its center, despite its majesty from the mountain edge.

Fredrick and Sveta were casually strolling by one of the parks near the city center. The human felt, as he drew his gaze over the dark-leaved trees; the neatly trimmed grass; the playground where predominantly batpony fillies and colts were playing; and a multitude of other things... that this was pretty average for a park.

Which also meant that fresh air was plentiful, and that endearing, telltale aroma from last night’s rain and more rain to come was most welcome.

“Pretty cool though,” Fred admitted. “It’s a nice, quaint area here, despite the odd feeling of claustrophobia with the whole mountain interior thing you got going…”

The two maintained a respectable, casual walking pace that was consistent with ongoing conversation.

Sveta chuckled at Fredrick’s assertion.

“Aye, the uninitiated always feel that way. You’ll get used to it, mate… and when you do, I guarantee that you’ll miss it.”

“How do ya figure?” Fred asked, slipping his left hand into his pocket.

Sveta gestured her open palm all around them.

“It provides sense of extra security that you can’t really get anywhere else… not that we’re expecting anything bad tae happen but, it’s like somepony’s watchin’ over ye with good intentions. It’s always there, and it does shield us from some of the harsher winds in the region,” she explained.

Fredrick bobbed his head in thought, while Sveta tried to rationalize her own words.

She shrugged.

“Fuck it I dunno, mate. I’ve just lived with it me entire fuckin’ life so I’m used to it. Every time I’ve tripped out tae Canterlot to visit Stel’, I always feel a bit exposed without it.”

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

A small bout of silence wreathed the friendly couple for a few moments, and Fredrick was able to consolidate his thoughts in that time. From when they had left their breakfast eatery, Sveta had taken the time to show him some of the few offerings of ‘downtown’ Thestralshire… definitely a far cry from his home city, that’s for sure.

Regardless, he was made aware of the few attractions, such as a history museum, some tours that took you to the very top of the inner portion of the mountain, and the usual clubs and musical venues that Fredrick would probably find himself visiting at Stella’s insistence. They didn’t get to go to the top of the mountain unfortunately. Overall there weren’t huge, grandly exciting things to do such as Disney World or the like… but there were nice things that could take the edge off of a particularly long work week.

And in the end, that’s kinda what mattered, at least to Fredrick.

“But if ya don’t mind,” Sveta cut into the silence, nudging Fredrick’s shoulder with hers and nearly forcing him to stumble. “I’d like tae steer the topic a little bit more your way.”

Fredrick massaged his left palm into his shoulder as he angled his attention towards the pretty, younger Sabre.

“Uhh… sure! Yeah I haven’t said all that much about myself. And you probably haven’t heard anything but what Stella tells you, I’m sure,” he noted.

Sveta responded with a deep, single nod and an excited smile. The inherited smile shared between most members of this family was still a mild cause for disconcertion to Fredrick.

“Yup!”

“Okay. Anything in particular you’re interested in?”

“Ya fuck ‘er yet?!” Sveta leapt at the opportunity.

Fredrick reeled at the excited aggressiveness of that query, but regardless, he rolled his eyes, chuckling lightly all the while.

He sighed.

“Something tells me you already know the proper answer to that question,” he said with an edge of sarcasm. Stella wasn’t one to kiss and tell but she definitely wouldn’t keep a secret from her closest and oldest ‘best friend,’ as it were.

Sveta rolled her eyes and angled her head over to Fredrick, annoyed. The two rounded a corner of the park and continued down the straight perimeter.

“Why the fuck would I ask you if I already knew? Ever think about that, mate?” she put forth.

“Well, if you haven’t the slightest idea, then I don’t kiss and tell. Not my place to tell others about our intimate life so…” Fredrick said.

The sarcasm and chiding could be heard simply through Sveta’s ensuing laughter.

“Oh, well look at ye… such a fuckin’ honorable and sanctimonious fuckhead you are. You and yer short sleeved shirt armor and shorts. Hell, mate. I like you. Ye can come over an’ fuck me sister.”

Fredrick had no control of the chortle that snuck its way out his mouth, and he pinched the bridge of his nose all the while.

“Okay, you got me on that one. Still, I’d rather let Stella inform you of any details regarding our intimacy life rather than me… seems more in place,” he said.

Sveta mimed attempting to choke him, but then settled for, much like Stella, delivering a gentle swat to the back of his head.

“Gah! What the hell, dude?!”

“How ‘bout ya be like a normal fuckin’ pony an’ just call it a ‘fuck life.’ Fuck’s sake mate listening tae you talk sometimes is like tryin’ tae enjoy nails on a fuckin’ chalkboard. Fuck me.”

She then crossed her arms under her chest and her face devolved into smugness.

“And for yer information, Fred… I already knew. A couple days after, actually, since she penned a fuckin’ note the day after ya defiled her with yer cock.”

Fredrick deadpanned, looking completely at her.

“Then what the shit was the whole point of that conversation just now?” he demanded.

Without missing a beat, Sveta replied:

“Because I wanted to see if Stella was right… and she was!”

Fredrick renewed his deadpan.

“...What?”

His batpony company beamed that fanged smile at him.

“You really are just super fun tae annoy and fluster.”

“I wouldn’t really call that ‘flustering,’ to be honest,” Fred admitted, shrugging at the odd choice of words.

Sveta perked up, and her usual smile was supplanted by one much more devious in nature.

“Oh right! I forgot that Stella told me to do something~!” she boasted, literally skipping in place for a brief moment.

However, that’s when she got perhaps a little bit too close to Fredrick, nudging right alongside him. As the two continued to stroll down the side of the park, she garnered his attention, placed both her hands under her chest, and hefted her bosom so the tops of her breasts and her cleavage were literally busting out of her shirt directly in his line of sight… all while donning a much more lascivious grin.

If asked, Fredrick would admit that he looked… for a split second. But he still pulled away harshly and shielded his eyes out of reflex.

“Jesus FUCKING Christ, Sveta we’re in public what the hell’s the matter with you?!”

Sveta pursed her lips and spared no sense of composure as she held her hands to her tummy in gut-busting guffaw. Even through her contagious, downright hilarious laughter, she still had the coherence to bumble out:

“Fuckin’... PFFT! Doesn’t stop you an’ Stel’ from molestin’ each other in the same public,” she pointed out, her sapphire eyes tearing up and complimenting her laughter-raised cheeks as she fought to contain herself.

“Fuck me though, mate… didn’t think I’d get that much of a reaction outta you from simple fuckin’ cleavage. You need tae fuckin’ relax! They’re just tits,” Sveta added, giving her ‘girls’ a single bounce from underneath.

“I’m in relations with your sister,” Fredrick countered with a raised index finger for emphasis. “We get to molest each other at our own leisure. You don’t get that privilege,” he finished his prodding with a certain smugness that would normally drive Stella insane.

“And I’m not afraid of tits. Quite the contrary. I embrace ‘em. I praise ‘em,” Fred also countered with exaggerated prayer hands.

“Ah, aye…” Sveta replied, fluttering her fingers in the air in an exaggerated show of sarcasm. “The ‘dynamic duo’ ye two are. Alone, but two little twigs in a world of trees…” she then returned a prideful smugness that only a Sabre could muster.

“But bundled together ye form a mighty faggot! Fuuuuck off~!” she ultimately dismissed him.

Fredrick lurched his torso forward as he caught his impending laughter in his throat.

“You know, that joke would be a lot funnier and offensive on my world… and don’t be sad, Sveta!” Fredrick began his repost with another bout of obligatory mischievousness, patting her on the back.

“Just because Stella won’t let you molest me doesn’t mean you get to be all mopey about it.”

Sveta almost took offense to that. Her pupils narrowed and she thrust herself into Fred’s forefront as they continued their goalless amble.

“Oi, ya cheesy fud!” she declared. “I ain’t fuckin mopey! I’m just fuckin’ with ya!”

Fredrick cocked his right eyebrow.

Jackpot.

And with a confidence that would make every single batpony mare in a two-mile radius swoon and conceive simultaneously, Fredrick quipped:

“So, you’re admitting you wanna molest me?”

The human had never seen any individual’s face color that fast.

Sveta retracted her finger and glared at him with the force of Nightmare Moon’s rage against the Sun herself. She then withdrew completely and retook her place right next to Fredrick on their ongoing walk toward anywhere.

“Hope Stella decides tae peg you in yer sleep, dickhead.”

Fredrick felt the banterous battle lines had gone back and forth enough for the moment, though he admittedly enjoyed the little exchange with the youngest Sabre. In so many ways it was like talking to his best friend and marefriend, save for a much more traditionally ‘girly’ inflection in her voice.

But in any sense, Sveta’s words proved a nice segue into another, more relevant topic for both him and his relationship with this family as a whole.

Neither party realized they had lapped the park once, and they continued walking even as a gentle gust of wind made small ripples through their respective hair and mane.

“Well,” Fred began more casually. “Your articulation in your insults and Stella-esque sexual harassment shows me you definitely have a mind about your shoulders. You’re in school right now, right?”

Sveta, herself happy to get back to a normal conversation, brightened modestly as she puffed her chest out.

“Aye. University of Thestralshire, third year!” she proclaimed.

Fredrick nodded, impressed. From what he had heard about the school by word of mouth from Stella, it was a fairly well-known institution. Especially so with the apparent size out-of-area student body.

“Cool! What’re you majoring in?”

“Biology,” Sveta answered. Aided by some animation from her right hand, she continued: “I really like it tae be honest. Once Stella was completely taken by the military, I was free tae pursue deeper studies.”

That raised a question or two in Fredrick’s head. He fluttered his shirt and adjusted the waistline of his shorts as he followed up.

“Whadd’ya mean?”

“Tradition in our family going back as far as I can remember of our clan name is that one Sabre from every generation was to serve in the Royal Military Forces and make a career out of it. Stella volunteered first right outta secondary, so it was more of a wait-and-see approach if she actually liked what she was doin’ or not,” Sveta explained.

And she went on to say:

“But, once she wrote back about how much she loved her time in the Army and how quickly recognized she was becomin’, I could just focus on me upcomin’ school work.”

Fredrick took this to heart, and curiosity got the better of him as well as an urge to keep getting to know this mare.

“Would you have dropped out and enlisted if Stella didn’t enjoy her line of work, as it were?” he asked.

Sveta shrugged and gingerly shook her head.

“What choice would I have, mate?” she asked rhetorically. “As much as I don’t understand it, our name is, fer some reason, kinda important. We’re not nobility. In fact, up tae even early in me own life, we weren’t exactly the richest ponies in Equestria, either. Antiquated semantics at best, retardation at worst, methinks.

“Regardless, the moment Stella were tae drop her rifle, I’d pick it right up.”

Fredrick angled his head, both hands in his pockets now.

“Right, but you wouldn’t be happy about it,” he inferred.

“Nope!” Sveta answered accordingly. “And I wouldn’t care either way. I don’t exactly deal in what-ifs, Fred.”

A mark of incredulity crossed his features.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a biologist in training?” he jested.

“Aren’t you supposed tae not be a smart-assed leaky minge, ya fuckin’ cunt?” she fired back.

Fred allowed himself to throw his head back in a hefty chuckle.

“You know, I enjoy both Stella’s and your existence more every minute.”

“Twat!”

“There’s kids around, you know.”

“Oh right. Cunt!”

That about summed it up for the human.

As far as getting to know family was concerned, Fredrick had a good feeling fester in his chest. With how well he perceived things to go thus far, building on the previous night’s shenanigans and introductions, Fredrick felt he had enough leeway to proclaim a successful ‘integration’ of sorts with Stella’s kin.

Meeting her parents, as he recalled, was painless (realistically) enough, though the ultimate test would, in fact, lay with Sveta. If there was one thing he knew about his marefriend, Fredrick had enough notion and assurance to know that Stella loved her parents… though she rarely let their opinions on her personal life sway her if they were negatively aligned.

Thankfully, most of her actions in life had been seen in a positive light by Vampir and Schiavona.

Most.

However, there was still the fact of her little sister… one who happened to have a strikingly similar yet worlds different personality altogether.

Fredrick himself had come to like Sveta as a pony. She stood for essentially everything that Stella did with a bit of extra spice in areas that Stella didn’t necessarily need spice. Furthermore, he figured that if the teal-coated Sabre didn’t care for him at all, she probably would have ditched him at some point during their ‘forced coupling.’

Thankfully, it never came to that. And after several more hours of various activities that included walking, talking, laughing hysterically with one another, and a trip to a karaoke bar to hear Sveta tear it up on vocals… the two found themselves back home towards late afternoon.

Sveta pressed front door open that was, for some reason, slightly ajar.

“Stella! You home, bitch?” she called out as she and Fred entered back into the familiar abode. Both retained comfortable smiles on their faces from a pleasant day out.

To the pleasant surprise of both of them, Stella was actually present in the living room. On her knees with both open boxes that the newcomers assumed were her loot, she had been thumbing through each and every file and checking it against a list that Princess Luna had given her.

She turned up from her work and she glowed at them.

“Awrite! Twatweasels are back!” she exclaimed, dusting off her hands and flexing them twice while she got to her hooves. “I was gettin’ worried ye two had eloped ‘r some shite!” she added whimsically.

Stella draped an arm over Fred’s back and he, by way of reflex, lay a palm on her waist.

“Fuck off, lass!” Sveta dismissed with joking sass. “He’s yer property.”

The younger mare brushed past with an extra, aforementioned sass in her trot and sway in her backside. She stopped in her tracks, however, and turned on her heels with an aura of remembrance.

“OH! By the way Stel’,” she began pointedly. “Fred here was great company today. And judgin’ from what I figured out from the little shiteleak, he may be interested in the ‘spot.’”

Fredrick cocked his head at the utterance of Sveta’s last two words. Stella, conversely, welled up with gleaming eyes and dimpled cheeks from that excited smile she suddenly sported.

“Fuck me how could I forget!? Fuckin’ perfect place tae show a coltfriend of all cunts!” she declared, then grabbed Fredrick’s hand to drag him back out the door.

“Come on, love! Got one more thing tae show ye! You’ll love it. I promise!”

Fredrick was just along for the ride, even at the sudden switch in plans.

“Uhhh… okay!” he affirmed as he let himself be dragged along by his marefriend.

Sveta, meanwhile, had one last thing to add to the leaving couple before she herself retired up to her room to put her hooves up.

“Oh also, Stella?” she called.

Her sister angled her head back over her shoulder, the sudden whipping of her ponytail smacking Fredrick right in the face.

“Aye?”

Her next words came uncharacteristically (though subtly) meeker.

“It’ll also give ye a chance tae… you know…” she alluded out of Fredrick’s mental grasp.

Stella huffed out and chidingly smirked whilst rolling her eyes.

“My fuck yer goddamn impatient. Righto!” Stella ‘acquiesced’ and yanked Fredrick back out the door.

Once the two were back outside, Fredrick took a deep breath and stared upward towards the apex of the mountain that surrounded them. The cloud coverage had become heavier throughout the day, and the living, atmospheric river above swelled with moisture. Another payload of rainfall could be easily inferred for the near future. Unless Stella was not shy about getting a mite wet with precipitation in the next hour or two (he certainly wasn’t), then they would have to make their outing quick and painless.

But the notion of ‘quick and painless’ with Stella was laughable.

Stella closed the door behind them and rejoined his side, gesturing forward.

“Alright,” she began, and the two started their trek anew. Her voice lacked the perpetually razor-sharp wit and impending cheek that she normally touted. “Couple things.”

“Okay,” Fred answered, all ears.

“I wanna show you something… it’s a place that I know you’ll love, but even more than that, it’s a very special place that means a lot tae Sveta and I. I want you tae experience it while we’re here.”

Despite her serious tone, Stella regarded Fredrick with a warmness that seemed to ward off the coolness of the late afternoon… and it was a look that he himself would be insane to not genuinely return.

A blush heated both of their faces pleasantly, and Stella blinked and glanced away, losing the proverbial game of chicken with their joined emotions. It was nothing that Fredrick held against her; such cuteness and vulnerability on display from an ironclad mare such as her did well to bring out a softer side within her.

And give him stomach butterflies out the ass, of course.

So, he nodded, and pulled her body into his for a one-armed embrace.

“I’d love to be a part of whatever you wanna show me,” he said. “And when you say it like that, I really can’t wait! Do lead on…”

Stella let her usual smile return elastically to her features, but there was still some business to further straighten out.

“Cheers! And, well, one last thing love,” she said.

“Yeah?”

Their brisk walking pace continued, yet all the activity below her waist did little to jar the words out of her open mouth.

“Alright well… I have two questions for you, technically,” she coaxed. “One is a question that may seem waaaaaay outta thin air, but I ask that you bear with me. Please hear me out. In fact, I’ll answer your question in response tae my question: No, I’m not fuckin’ joking.”

Fredrick’s eyebrow was well beyond raised at this point… though the oddity of Stella’s impending questions were overshadowed by she suspense she built up. His desire to know more was fucktupling by the second. His brain was liquefying itself attempting to process all the possible questions Stella could ask which would merit such a serious, borderline stern, yet reserved demeanor from her.

“...Okay,” he answered, ready for anything at this point.

“Right,” Stella followed up, steeling herself. “Know what? Fuck this. I’m just gonna come out and ask this in the most serious, unjoking way I can, aye?

“Fred, do ya think Sveta’s smokin’ hot by yer standards?”

15. His Sabre and Her Kingdom

[Canterlot Castle]

The evening was just upon the city of Canterlot, and Luna had set her Moon on course for its usual trek throughout the sky as she had thousands upon thousands of times before. As the calming and illuminating entity crawled ever more and more towards its apex in the heavens, the soothing light eventually bathed the open balcony of Princess Luna herself.

Soft candles within her darker-themed quarters did well to tactically add light where it was most needed, though most of it was provided by a soft-hued spiral galaxy on her ceiling that slowly but surely rotated with the course of her Moon.

For normal ponies and Celestia herself, they would struggle for the first ten minutes to cope with the night-complete darkness, and find completed work hard to come by. But for Princess Luna, it was her prime condition. Her vision had been much attuned to the darkness over the millennia, and she preferred everything else that came with it.

With the darkness, came the tranquility of the nocturnal world.

With the ambiance of the nocturnal world, came a sense of belonging and ease.

And with a sense of ease, came productivity.

Garbed in her usual sleeveless, navy-blue work dress, Luna sat at her ebony-wooden desk adjacent to her bed and had gotten right to work. Her schedule was relatively light tonight, with a brief court appearance and then she could spend the rest of her time with Celestia talking about impending policy or simply getting drunk with her.

The latter would be much more preferred than the former.

In fact, Luna was in a bit of a transition: within the next week or so, Luna would be altering her sleep schedule to participate in what would be the first and forward-going ‘Combined Court.’ This was to eliminate Luna being mostly alone during her Night Court sessions, and instead, she and Celestia would see a larger volume, as well as more high-profile cases during the day.

Celestia had been the first to suggest it for Luna’s sake, and despite the ungodly times Luna would have to wake up at, the Night Princess was surprisingly excited about the prospect.

Luna smirked at the thought, and the excitement bubbled up in her stomach at actually being able to see her subjects with regularity for once. And she knew for a fact that her lonely nights would be over after that point.

Her general mood would improve exponentially, and she could spend some later nights hanging out with her sister when the administrative duties of running a nation had been tended to throughout the day.

Her thoughts meandered as her hands worked on autopilot. Papers and parchments with proposed bills shared between her and Celestia were levied with her signature and full authority of the crown, among other miscellaneous things she had to tend to.

She usually liked to take care of most of these little things before court started: signatures accepting and rejecting proposals, expense reports for her higher-level diplomats and advisors, as well as the occasional letter that made its way into her unending ranks of paperwork.

A specific letter passed through her hands that brought her out of her automated state—specifically because of the lack of multiple paragraphs and uniform writing style most becoming of nobility or in the upper echelons of her staff.

Luna cocked her head and eyebrow as she placed it flat on the table top. She thumbed the upper-right corner to smooth out the parchment, and a feeling of familiarity ran over her mind as she read the words… she recognized this writing style.

It was from Stella.

Luna’s once comfortably stoic exterior was gradually ruined as a smile creased its way up her cheeks. Each word that her eyes scanned brought an immeasurable amount of giddiness to her chest… which warped into giggling and eventually into maniacal laughter that she was sure all Canterlot could hear.

Stella was requesting a sufficient batch of ‘Potion 63.’ It was this moment that Luna realized she was an arms dealer between the two sovereign nations of Fredrick and Stella in their prank war.

And she loved every minute of it.

Luna continued to snicker as she stood up from her desk. She smoothed out her dress and slid the paper off the table top to pin it as high-importance. She’d have a vial filled up and delivered by the time the couple returned from their vacation.

Lune continued to giggle at the thought—and she had to remember to save the day when Stella would enact her plan, so she could be around to see Fredrick’s reaction to the impending prank.

With one final chuckle into her hand, she slid out of her door and headed to court to start her day.

[Back in Thestralshire | A Few Hours Earlier…]

His legs moved in step with Stella, but his mind did not think. His brain did not react to the environment around him as he fought to process the bug in his system caused by Stella’s most recent question.

To which Fredrick could only come back with a resounding:

“Fucking… what?!”

As he turned his head to look at Stella in sheer confusion, he expected to see that snarky, downright cute yet annoying face of hers that she would adopt when deliberately attempting to get on his nerves. But, none of that was present.

No dimpled smile, no wink, no accompanying giggle… nothing.

Only a serious, stoic face that was fatefully awaiting a true answer to her question.

“I told you I wasn’t jokin’, love,” Stella followed up. “But seriously, I know this sounds weird, but it has a point, I promise…

“Whaddya think of Sveta?”

Fredrick was in no way going to let Stella escape with this question, but he figured, as per her request, that he would give her the benefit of the doubt for now. To be fair though, the perplexed human still had little idea what was going on, and was further disturbed because deep down, as a man, any questions involving ‘looks’ and ‘sister’ were a recipe for disaster.

“Well…” Fredrick placed a hand on the back of his neck. “I think she’s an upstanding mare with a good head on her shoulders and a bright future!”

The right side of Stella’s mouth curled up, exposing her teeth in the most infuriatingly smug way Fredrick could conceive.

“Y’know she’s also good at givin’ head, aye?” she said, nudging him.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Fredrick exhaled. “Okay firstly, how the fuck do you know that?”

“She’s told me very specific, particular details of her few exploits. Do ye really wanna know said details?”

While Stella had a knack for making almost anything sound erotic, from fruit cups to a rock, Fredrick still felt a bit uneasy about any such details involving Sveta.

“Honestly, I don't think I do,” he conceded, though Fred was by no means done:

“I gotta say though, if I didn't know any better, it sounds like you're trying to hook me up with Sveta…”

Stella was unflinching.

“Well, I mean… kinda?” she said.

“And just why would you do that, based on our relationship? And why would I entertain such a proposition?” Fredrick followed up, his tone a tad defensive.

Stella rolled her eyes overdramatically.

“You really need tae relax, mate…” came her reply. “You sound like I just asked ya tae lube up yer bunghole and bend over!”

It was Fred’s turn to roll his eyes and sigh out, exasperated.

“My marefriend just asked me to size up her sister… all things considered, it might as well be the same thing.”

Stella ran both her palms down her face, seeming like she wanted to rip her lower eyelids off.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” she growled. “Apparently you're not getting it at all because of how that cock of a head ye have is wired!

“I don't know what bullshit customs your human mares were used to, but do you honestly know me after all this time? I'm not tryin’ tae trick ye. It’s a simple question that I'd like tae move past sometime today: would you say Sveta is attractive?”

Fredrick rolled his eyes… but the ironclad reassurance from Stella's words put him a little less on edge when it came to the question itself.

Back on earth in a more ‘traditional’ relationship, implying that a sibling of your significant other was sexually appealing was tantamount to signing your execution by public firing squad.

Stella remained true to her character of being wholly unpredictable in most instances.

“Well, I mean…” Fredrick began, his voice uneasy as Stella continued to await his answer. “Of course she is! A blind dude could see that.”

Stella nodded.

“‘Bout goddamn time. Fuck me,” she expressed with an exasperated sigh.

Fredrick glanced back over at Stella.

“But can you really blame me for faltering a bit?” he asked. “I mean, girlfriends back where I come from never ask if their younger sisters are hot in the eyes of their partners, so…”

Stella was quick to politely dismiss those rhetorical concerns.

“Nae. Not if ya knew what I was gonna ask next,” she said, and used that segue to springboard into her aforementioned second question:

“Which is, would ya be opened to… ‘relations’ of the lustful variety?” she treaded carefully with her words.

Fredrick couldn't roll his eyes harder if he tried.

“Oh for fuck’s sake are you kidding me right now?!”

Stella threw her hands towards the floor.

“Oh my fucking Celestia I thought we JUST fuckin’ established this, mate! Fer the last time: I’m being serious. This isn’t a trick, and it’s not some retarded test. I’m being serious here. Want me tae ask in me normal style? Fine:

“Wanna give Sveta the ol’ Bam Bam in the Ham?”

Fredrick let his head sag backwards as the two of them walked, and though Stella was waiting patiently for an answer, she had to admit that he looked positively ridiculous in his current situation.

“And why would I want to fuck Sveta?” Fred ventured.

Stella returned his question with a rather pointed shrug, as if Fred was the weird one for asking.

“Ummm… I dunno how yer male instincts work. Fuck she’s the biologist, not me. I honestly… honestly don’t understand why this question is so hard to answer, Fred. You managed the first part!” Stella said.

Fredrick decided to ease himself through the situation.

“Okay! Well… I mean…”

Stella’s impatience boiled over.

“Put it this way, love!” she began anew, harshly wrapping one of her arms around Fredrick’s neck and placing their faces side by side before gesturing her hand out to nowhere in particular. Her tone was serious, but with a playful edge of condescension.

“Imagine… if you will, a world where I don’t give a single slow-roasted, pineapple-glazed shite about yer human customs. Also, pretend you and I never met. Yer a laddie about town and you suddenly see…”

Stella sprang away from him and gesticulated, with two open hands, to a pony right in front of them that did not exist.

“This hot thestral lassie with tits a mite smaller than yer fuckin head… nice and firm too!” she mimed groping.

Her actually-amusing hyping continued:

“She’s got a cute butt—not as cute as mine, of course—but this bitch has got legs fer days to go along with that slim tummy and those gazongas! Top it all off with a pretty face ripe fer yer ‘pearlescent’ home-churned ragu sauce!”

Fredrick recoiled, nearly suffering an asthma attack.

“PFFT! Did you just say that?!”

“Oi! I can use big words like ‘pearlescent,’ ya inflatable cock!” she barked, but her expression immediately bounced back to a youthful eagerness.

“But of course, I’m talkin’ about Sveta Rapier Sabre. And she’s winkin’ at ya!” Stella pointed back at Fredrick, who was attempting to stymie his laughter at her display. Her eccentricity always had its way with him when he became muddled down in his internal musings.

Stella went back to her original question:

“So. What would ye say tae that, aye? Ya fuckin' overripened clitoris, ye.”

It wasn’t like Fredrick needed much thought on the matter when presented with very specific parameters and hypotheticals.

“Well duh! Of course I’d go for it… assuming I could get past the orbit of other dudes surrounding her,” he answered.

Stella's features brightened considerably.

“There we go! That’s what I was lookin' for! Now, would ye wanna take her back to her room and enter her like the lottery?” she said, and waggled her eyebrows.

Fredrick burst out laughing, head thrown back as he contained himself.

“Jeeeeeesus… whew you’re full of good one-liners today, aren’t you?”

“Don’t dodge the fuckin' question, mate!”

With Stella's reassurance, Fredrick felt he could approach this conundrum with a little less unease than he had previously.

But first, he needed a little bit of clarification on some matters he deemed important.

“Okay I have some legitimate questions: I’m kinda with you right now. By Equestrian standards, aren’t we exclusive?”

“We are,” Stella affirmed with an obvious nod.

“Then...” Fredrick gestured to the obvious elephant in the room.

“I'm tryin' tae do two things. One, tae get Sveta's lips wet. Two, make sure you get something out of it for your troubles, really. Our exclusivity ain’t got three shits on it.”

And despite all the reassurances, Fredrick still felt weird talking so candidly about this subject. Nevertheless, he just had to deal with it—improvise, adapt, overcome.

“Okay fine, sure…” he accepted. “But why Sveta in that case? You’ve never expressed this before except now.”

Again, Stella shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“Because ya never asked, retard!” she exclaimed, nudging into him.

“Wait… are you serious?!”

“FUCK NAE!” Stella, again, nudged into him, nearly taking him off his feet with how hard she pushed him. She followed that up with a hefty cackle. “You’re stuck with me, mate! This only ‘exception’—if ya will—applies tae Sveta.

“But if ya need tae know everythin,’” Stella continued, wrapping her arms around Fredrick’s neck and leaning most of her body weight on him. Fredrick, in kind, placed his left hand on her bare waist and enjoyed her extra weight and heat.

And with a little hesitancy, she admitted:

“Sveta just needs tae get the Friendship Express run through ‘er and not feel like rotten spunk stain afterward—she hasn’t had the best experiences if ya know what I mean.”

Fredrick grimaced, but he was even more perplexed now than before, in some instances. Regarding Sveta, some things just didn’t add up.

“Wait… how does she not have a trail of stallions following her at all times? She of all mares has dude issues?”

Stella continued to hang on Fredrick as they strolled along to wherever she passively led them to.

“In her words, love: ‘It’s a quality issue. Not quantity.’ In the end, as I said, she’s got a stick up her twat when it comes tae social interaction outside of when I’m home. If it weren’t fer me, she’d study, perform with her band… and that’s it. The bitch needs variety in her life! And if she’s not willin’ tae weed out the dickheads outta the ranks of attention she gets, I gotta do it for ‘er!” Stella explained with another grand, over-arching gesture of her left hand.

“Which is why…” she continued. “I need somepony I can trust enough and that she gets on with a mite good… tae ‘remove’ that stick from her twat.

“With their diiiiick!”

Fredrick figured it was best to sum it up succinctly for his own sanity.

“So, you want me to bang your sister because—aside from Equestrian culture being much more open with sexuality and not seeing this as remotely any problem whatsoever—she’s a bit tense and easily annoyed, and needs to get laid and I’m the only dude you trust to do the job because you’ve sufficiently vetted me already?”

Stella beamed radiantly. Her sharpened teeth seemed to sparkle in the nonexistent sunlight.

“Aye, sounds ‘bout right, mate!”

“And refresh my memory,” Fredrick responded. “How does this not violate our exclusivity? Putting my own upbringing and preconceived notions aside, I’m curious how you’ll sell this to me.”

“Well, since we’re on a heart-to-heart junction fer some fuckin’ reason… you find me good lookin’, aye?”

It was Fredrick’s turn to deadpan.

“You know, I never knew you and I were still on the ‘fishing for compliments’ stage of our relationship,” he jested, squeezing her exposed side to elicit a involuntary batpony ‘EEE!’ and a giggle.

“Hey, nothin’ wrong with gettin’ told I’m hot! But on the next note, how do you feel about me outside of looks?”

“I feel… very strongly for you,” Fredrick offered the vaguest way he could place his true feelings for her.

“Aye, it’s mutual, love,” Stella affirmed with a wink. “But tae follow up. You find Sveta hot, right?”

“Duh.”

“Do ya feel the same way about her that ya do about me?” Stella questioned with a cocked, knowing eyebrow.

Without missing a beat, Fredrick answered:

“Not in the slightest.”

“There ya go, mate!” Stella confirmed. “She just needs tae get her rocks off. Ya don’t need tae go an’ buy her dinner or some fancy shit and say cute things to her.”

She then chortled maniacally to preempt her next words.

“Hell, but ye can give ‘er yer own homemade pearl necklace if ya feel so inclined!”

“GODDAMNIT!” went Fredrick, but it was futile to hold in his own cackling, which set off Stella again. And just like that, there the two were, just walking down the street, shuffling their feet, and cackling like wild animals in public.

Once Fredrick managed to calm himself down, he voiced some jesting concern:

“You know, if I actually had siblings, I’d be ashamed to say the things you do about yours.”

Stella giggled again.

“Well Fredrick, there’s something you should know 'bout me by now,” she teased, then leaned in close so her mouth was right next to Fred’s left ear.

“I’m just really fucked up, mate.”

Fred bobbed his head in hefty consideration.

“True. I’m messed up in my own ways, so I guess we’re even. Wouldn’t have it any other way, to be honest,” he mused, and allowed a warm smile to creep onto his face.

Stella resumed her previous position with her arms around his neck, and the two of them locked eyes briefly. A pleasant heat made its way to both of their cheeks, though neither had the courage to look away from one another, opting to instead relish in a moment of non-tomfoolery, and pure emotion that heated them up on a more temperate day.

But of course, like most of those in passing, it was short lived by Stella’s direct intervention.

“So… just tae get it out of her system and to reward you fer doin’ what’s pretty much a favor fer both of us, you up fer a romp with Sveta?” Stella asked with an aura of finality. It was time to seal the deal, in her eyes.

“Or seven?”

Fredrick chuckled as he mulled on her words. He knew for a fact that he was being offered any up-and-coming dudes dream and a scenario that pretty much only happened in pornography: having a hot girlfriend and banging her sister who is equally as hot in their own way. Reasoning with himself, he’d be lying if he told himself that he didn’t carnally want to have sex with Sveta—she was an absolute knockout.

In the end, if his human morality morphed by his upbringing and culture were irrelevant to the ‘other parties involved,’ and he could set aside what he felt was wrong when it ‘technically wasn’t,’ then there was little room for him to complain.

Fredrick shrugged.

Fuck it. Spontaneity!

“Eh. Yeah, sure. Why not, I guess!” he conceded.

If there was one thing he lived for in Equestria, it was Stella’s genuine smile and happiness. And perhaps he was being purposefully underwhelming: he knew that if things boiled to fruition, it would probably be a little more exciting than how he expressed.

“Yesssss!” she exclaimed, kissing his cheek multiple times in the process. “Thank you! I know it’s weird fer you… but yer doin’ us all an amazing favor, aye?”

Fred still wasn’t entirely convinced of that.

“Right… I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied, remnant unease and caution still evident in his tone.

Stella bounded into the lead once again and snatched Fredrick’s hand up in hers.

“Now come on! I gotta show you something—you’ll love it, I promise!” she teased with an inviting smile and pulled him along.

“Alright, let’s go!” Fredrick replied, and jogged to keep pace with her and more so prevent himself from faceplanting into the sidewalk.

And with that, the young couple took off down the suburb street and made a beeline towards where they first entered Thestralshire. As usual, the journey back towards the mountainous elevator was rife with banter and conversation aplenty—and in turn, rife with excessive laughter that drew odd looks from the general public.

Fredrick, in the initial stages of their friendship, was often wary of the attention that would be drawn when he and Stella, and possibly other friends of hers were out in public—as the only human in Equestria and not fully comfortable with anthropomorphic ponies at the time, attracting needless attention that would instantly hone in on him was towards the end of his list of priorities.

As of now, he paid little attention to this. All he was concerned about, instead, was just making sure that Stella didn’t go out of her way to do something too stupid and hurt herself. These instances were few and far between, thankfully.

In fact, most of the times where he’s been cognizant of Stella’s well-being, he’s been the one that’s gotten (hilariously) burned on his own.

It was all in good fun though.

A ten-minute trip to the elevator and being taken back to the entrance where they first arrived, and like that first time, Fredrick stood aside at the edge to enjoy the view that seemed to enamor him just as much as it did the first time. The rolling clouds that he had once seen prior seemed to be frozen in time, especially with the gentle fog that trailed down from the faux-mountain peak. The petrichor smell was as stark as ever, and even more so in the more humid tunnel.

However, Stella pulled him along, as they had little time to dilly-dally.

“Alright, bear with me fer one second,” Stella spoke softly as she continued to lead Fred along. A line of ponies continued to come and go through the entrance tunnel either down the side of the mountain or into the embedded train station.

Stella, for her part, tried to look as innocent as possible when, at the mountain’s edge, there was a cordoned off path upward.

She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her wallet, pretended to look in it and juggle it around, and then ‘accidentally’ flung it into the cordoned-off pathway.

Her immediate response to that was mechanical as it was hilariously exaggerated:

“Oh. Fuck me. I should get that. Fredrick, come help me?” she announced, swinging one leg after the other over the barrier to retrieve her wallet.

Once she was on the other side, she hurriedly beckoned Fredrick to follow her example, and after looking once over each of his shoulders, mimicked her movements.

“I’m guessing we’re not exactly supposed to be up here?” he questioned, uneasily making sure that he didn’t look down, despite the minimal guard rails.

Stella stooped low to pick up her wallet, and placed it back in the confines of her rear pocket. She patted it for good measure.

“Aye, though nopony really enforces it. And since batponies can fly, no one’s really died from fallin’. It’s more of a formality than anythin’,” Stella informed.

She rolled her eyes, however, at Fredrick’s slight unease. He looked a tad unconvinced if his constantly avoiding… then eventually giving in and glancing over the edge were anything to go by.

“You know I’d catch you, right?” she deadpanned.

Fredrick looked up at her, tearing his eyes away from what would be impending doom without a guard rail and a guardian batpony such as her.

“Yeah… doesn’t make the idea of falling potentially to my death any less unpleasant. Besides, didn’t you throw me off my goddamn balcony a month or two ago??” he pointedly reminded. “You cunt.”

She was quick to dismiss him as she took his hand once again and lead him up a deserted path, one that took them higher up towards the faux-peak.

“Psh. Semantics,” she said.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Fredrick was quick to point out.

“Neither does yer sniveling poofery, mate. Now come on! We’ve got a little bit left.”

And once again, Fredrick placed his life in Stella’s hands should anything go wrong. The mountainous trail and rock beneath them held firm with every step upward that they took, but he couldn’t help feeling like he was in one of those movies where one step would upset the entire side of the mountain. Then the whole thing would come crumbling down…

And to Stella’s credit, she seemed completely unfazed by this—likely from a lifetime of experience and countless times venturing up here with Sveta.

One thing he did observe, most curiously, was that the rock walls seemed to harbor much more moss and general lushness as they climbed higher and higher. He deduced that this was due to the ungodly amount of rain this region received that filtered through the soil and the tiniest abscess in the stone; as the lushness on the exterior of the range was quite telling, after all.

Speaking of rain…

The sound of distant thunder interrupted their quiet ascent, and both Stella and Fredrick glanced upon the center of Thestralshire from their vantage point. Another sight to behold was the wreathing clouds swept aside with one motion under the weight of falling rain through the open peak. A blanket of water from their distance instead supplanted what was once a gentle bathing of fog and cloud-cover.

Fredrick was again awestruck by the view, but Stella was even more excited. Her ears perked up and her eyes glinted as she smiled widely.

“Perfect…” she mused, then yanked Fredrick along with an accompanying yelp from him. “Just what I was hopin’ for! You’re gonna absolutely love this!” she declared.

Fredrick chuckled, and followed close.

“So you’ve told me like, thirty times already,” he teased.

“Well, ya won’t listen to me when I tell ya tae get the cum outta yer ears, so I’ll have tae settle fer repeatin’ m’self when I can,” she shot right back.

Fredrick countered with a nonsensical:

“I’ll cum in your ears.”

Stella giggled into her hand.

“Sucks fer you, mate. I ain’t into that shit. Sveta might be, though. You should ask ‘er when yer ready tae give ‘er a battle with yer flesh-rifle.”

Fredrick pursed his lips—he didn’t need to put much thought into that proposition.

“Yeah, I’m… not gonna do that.”

Stella glanced back over her shoulder.

“Hey, she may be a bit more uptight, but you’ve seen how she acts. She can be more horrifying than me sometimes. You’ve got no idea what she’s into… so hey, ya may get lucky!”

“I still find it really weird that you’re talking about this so openly… when and if this does happen, I have this weird vision of you just sitting in an armchair across from us smoking a pipe as you leer all smugly. I’ll just leave it at that,” Fredrick voiced the oddly specific scenario.

Stella turned back to him, exaggerating her teeth mischievously.

“Don’t tempt me!”

The two devolved into some more, light-hearted laughter as they continued their little trek around the interior of the mountain. They had ascended a couple hundred feet by this point, and eventually, the two of them came to what appeared to be a series of caves and tunnels.

Stella was quick to beckon him over to a very specific one, a circular tunnel that held an oddly smooth ceiling. Moss had covered the entire ground, which masked the continuous trickle of water from within.

“Alright, just in here, love,” she nearly whispered, leading the way again.

Fredrick peeked in and saw light entering waaaaaay down and to the right, but still, he had some questions.

And by questions, he meant pointing out the ridiculousness of the scenario.

“You’re not gonna like, lead me down this here dark alleyway, then molest and murder me, right?” he asked with an exaggerated, questioning tone.

Stella proved as quick-witted as always.

“Nah, Fred. I’d murder, then molest you. There’s a subtle difference that ye just wouldn’t understand, aye?” she quipped.

Stella’s hooves and Fredrick’s shoes were cushioned by the meandering green moss beneath them, though the weight of their steps resounded against the flat plane of water just under that. Tiny splashes were all that sounded besides their conversation when they were out of the environmental noise of Thestralshire proper.

“Don’t you molest me enough?” Fredrick ventured to ask.

Stella glanced an eye over her shoulder again.

“Sorry, but weren’t you the one fondling me last night after we woke up?”

Fredrick shrugged in concession.

“Yeah, but as you said, that was fondling your boobs. I wasn’t molesting you,” he clarified.

Their pace slowed down as the odd conversation continued. Stella turned around and walked backwards so she could address Fredrick with her usual snark and smirk.

“Right, but I didn’t exactly ask ye tae grope me, y’know.”

Fredrick deadpanned, then leveled his hand and index finger to dutifully correct her:

“You literally took my hand from your tummy, ran it up your torso, and let it rest on your tit. You then said ‘that’s better,’” he mimicked her accent.

Stella mirrored his gesture, and placed her index finger right in his face as their odd walking cadence continued in earnest.

“Objection, cunt!” she began, but had to quell an impending chortle at her own use of that word. Fredrick himself was not in any better straits.

“I let yer hand rest on me tit, while wearin’ me bra. It was yer idea tae slip it under the cup and molest the nipple.”

Fredrick opened his mouth to counter… but realized that she was, indeed, absolutely right in that regard.

There was a large opening on the right-most wall of the tunnel, and Stella stopped them both, so they could finish their little exchange. And in that moment of observation, Fredrick came up with an arguably lame response.

“Right… but you didn’t object to it. In fact, you said you loved the way it felt before you and I got all sappy and fell asleep.”

Stella cocked an eyebrow and donned a lopsided, toothy smile.

Just like that, Fredrick knew he was beaten.

“But I didn’t verbally consent to it, even though I was more than fuckin’ open to it… and more had ye been up for it last night, love,” she said. “Since I didn’t explicitly verbalize it, you technically molested me.”

Fredrick pursed his lips and disengaged his gaze from hers. Defeat had been conceded.

“Fuck. You’re right.”

Stella threw her head back in gut-clenching laughter at his concession, then jumped to embrace him by throwing all of her weight onto him. Fredrick was easily able to catch her in his arms and keep her suspended off the ground, as per her wish.

The thestral’s giggling subsided and, after exchanging a bright smile with Fredrick, she kissed his cheek with an exaggerated ‘mwah!’ and released him to fall back to her hooves. They echoed with a hollow, wet clop from down the tunnel.

“Ya never learn, do ya?” she teased, then took him by the hand once more. “But tae be fair, you’re right: I did enjoy when you molested me. And as much as I molest you…”

She slinked up right next to him, leaned her muzzle by his ear again, and delivered a tantalizing lick to his earlobe.

“You can molest me anytime you want, aye?”

With Stella, Fredrick understood fully what she meant and that she was entirely serious. His face went pensive and excited.

“Hmmm… I think I’ll have to test my luck with that soon,” he mused, allowing himself to be led along towards this new entrance.

As per the status quo, Stella always had to have the final word in their banter:

“Luck ain’t got nothin’ tae do with it when it’s a fer sure thing. Just don’t be a fuckin’ pussy,” she said, winking. “Now, come on, we’re here!”

From the relative darkness of the tunnel, Fredrick followed Stella when they entered through the jagged hole in the wall, where light poured through. His eyes had to adjust properly, and he shielded them with his arm before he could get a proper look at what was inside. What piqued his interest was when he heard what sounded like a tiny waterfall from within.

“So, where are we?” he asked just as he dropped his arm.

And what he saw nearly brought a tear to his eye.

Stella felt she would have to introduce him properly to she and Sveta’s ‘personal hideaway’ throughout their childhood, but observing Fredrick’s reaction, she opted to remain quiet.

The majesty could speak for itself.

Fredrick was greeted with a literal chamber in the wall, where light poured in from the outside world by way of the far-most wall of said chamber. In fact, the wide-enough aperture led directly to the open air outside, meaning that this was essentially a window seat on the edge of a mountain—one could sit on either side and enjoy the eternal, rainy view from within.

With the natural illumination from the overcast day on its last hour outside, Fredrick’s eyes could wander over a field of cushy moss and clovers that covered the stone and soil-laden ground. There was nary a patch of drab to be found in this lush little oasis.

Fredrick stepped in further, ahead of Stella, to get a better look at what lay at the direct center of the hidden chamber. There was yet another aperture in the ceiling formed by countless hundreds of years of erosion. A steady, hollow stream of water poured from the top and fell to the ground to small irrigation funnels to travel elsewhere on its trek with gravity. The effect was not a flooded chamber, but a curtain of water that veiled another circular island of patchy, lush, comfy-looking flora within.

Minerals and crystals much like he saw down in Thestralshire proper lined the walls and jutted out to help reflect any passing light. This created shimmering reflections that darted across the stone and mossy surfaces of the walls and ceilings, all in tandem with the glinting reflections of the falling water.

It was a natural meditation chamber.

This was a paradise away from home.

An unknown feeling of happiness welled up inside Fredrick—this was the place that, if asked what his ideal vacation and living spot would be, this was it. This was exactly it in every conceivable way.

Lush.

Rainy.

Tranquil.

Perfect.

Fredrick pivoted on his heels to get a full-degree view of their little chamber, and every inch of the hideout radiated a beautiful feeling of belonging.

Silence had dominated for a good three minutes as Stella leaned against the entryway, smiling with great pride at a successful little adventure that she knew Fredrick considered worth it. Like he with her, Stella had no intention of suppressing the giddiness that collected and pooled in her chest at seeing Fredrick this happy and at peace.

She pushed herself off the wall and took a couple easy steps through the bushes of clovers to join her coltfriend.

“So,” she broke the silence, wrapping her arms from behind around his waist, having pressed her cheek into his back. Stella nuzzled him with closed eyes as she followed up with:

“Welcome to our little escape, Fred. This place… is very special to Sveta and I.”

Fredrick placed his hands atop Stella’s as he continued to take in the small scenery. His eyes, too, reflected every bit of light with how wide they were, enamored.

“Holy shit I can understand why! This is fucking incredible!” he exclaimed, to a round of chuckling form Stella right behind him.

“I’d want to show everyone this place… but at the same time, I’d want to keep this super-secret and to myself!” he added

Stella dropped her arms and strode in front of Fredrick, waving him over towards the faux-window. On either side of the view out were two stones covered in moss, moss than had been curiously flattened out seemingly with time.

She motioned for him to take a seat on the right, as she spun on her hoof and planted her butt on the left-most stone.

Doing just that and sighing out as he was able to finally catch a break for his legs, Fredrick internally remarked that the moss felt oddly comfortable by way of just how much there was. It was a bit slippery, and it probably ruined his shorts to the point that it looked like he maybe had an accident, but it was a small price to pay to be afforded the scenery just outside.

And as the two began to stare out into the horizon that disappeared under heavy rainfall, ocean of green, and clouds, Stella followed up with her response:

“I felt the same way,” she said. “But, Sveta and I were the only ones tae ever come up here. No one else ever did, surprisingly. And keepin’ it ‘pure’ between us, I never brought anypony else up here, and neither has she,” Stella admitted.

“Not even past coltfriends.”

Fredrick tore away from the view to face his marefriend, incredulously, who faced him in turn with a soft expression.

“Really? You never brought a past lover up here?! This is like, romance on steroids up here!” he remarked, again looking outside to just get lost in what was essentially the perfect live wallpaper to his life.

Stella nodded and leaned against the stone wall, letting her vision wander outside in kind. She extended her leg a little bit to intertwine it with Fredrick’s. He accepted her without question, and the two played an idle game of leg-tangle and footsie.

“Aye. Never trusted ‘em enough. I was a lot younger back then, and me ‘relationships’ didn’t last, fer better or worse,” she again, admitted. “Didn’t want tae break it off with some dumb cunt and come back up here and find him here fuckin’ some twat in our sanctuary. Then I’d actually have tae kill somepony.”

Fredrick pulled his head back and leaned against the wall, much like Stella was across from him. The two locked eyes comfortably once more.

An innocent, genuine question followed suit:

“And yet you brought me up here, on Sveta’s suggestion?”

Stella nodded nice and slowly.

“Aye. I was thinkin’ really hard about it, and I wouldn’t bring anypony up here without talkin’ tae her first… but fuckin’, lucky you. I don’t know what impression ya made on her while you two were alone about town… but fuck me you might as well have fucked ‘er already!” Stella prodded, pressing her hoof into Fredrick’s thigh.

He quietly yelped at the sensitivity—he was quite ticklish in that area, and Stella was careful to note this for later.

“Hah!” he blurted. “You wish!”

But then, his tone became much less overt and more restrained, as per the gravity of what Stella was telling him.

“But jeez… you’re right. Maybe she thinks I’m alright then,” he mused.

Stella allowed her smile to further brighten up the room, ready to affirm his words:

“She does like you, actually. A lot. I could read it in her walk. It’s kinda why I asked ye the question I did, and why she not so subtly brought that shit up to me. In the end, we both agreed to let you be up here, fer many reasons.

“And as I said, this place is really, really sacred fer us. We’ve brought nopony else up here. You’re the third being to see this in all its glory.”

Fredrick reached down between his legs his and took ahold of Stella’s leg. He crossed his own and allowed her to stretch herself out, laying her leg atop his lap and beginning massage it at his idle whim.

And with her words and how serious she was speaking, with the lack of her usual joking mannerisms, Fredrick was beginning to fully understand the gravity of where he was.

“So, then I guess you really trust me, huh?”

Stella, suddenly, donned a much more reserved complexion. Her cheeks colored and her once confident stare devolved into averting her gaze.

Sheepishly, she nodded.

“Aye. I do. I really do.”

Fredrick found himself positively unable to not smile at that point. He drew two of his fingers down Stella’s leg, letting his nails barely grace her skin, much to her subtly shuddering pleasure.

“Well, I’m really happy to hear you say that. I trust you, too… with my life,” he added with extra conviction.

A small bout of silence fell upon them, and what little rays poked through the overcast firmament outside were beginning to dwindle as Luna’s domain was prepared to take over for the impending evening.

“There’s…” Stella began uttering, earning Fredrick’s full attention as he continued to idly stroke her leg.

“There’s another reason I brought you up here, too.”

Fredrick cocked his head, smiling encouragingly at his marefriend as she sat up more comfortably.

“Yeah? What’s that?” he asked.

“Well, because I love you.”

Fredrick’s lips separated into a gentle ‘o’ as his eyes widened in kind. Those words felt as if they literally held weight to them, and he was pressed up against his leaning post once they left Stella’s mouth.

Across from him, he found a golden-eyed, beautiful thestral mare staring back at him with a confidence he’d expect… but with an underlying sense of unease that he’d rarely feel from her. Her eyes reflected not only the light in the room, but all her internal musings that she had wanted to bring forward, that she had laid on the figurative table right in front of them. The reflections played off of her form and added to her innocent—apprehensive allure.

And with her more reserved body language, Fredrick figured she was not the one usually accustomed to saying things like this… which made the inherent significance of it all that much stronger.

“Stella…” Fredrick finally breathed out, as his mouth ran dry for the briefest of moments. “Are… are you sure? I love you too but, you’re sure about this? I only want to affirm this step if—”

Stella stopped his words in their tracks, chuckling as she rolled her eyes for the thousandth time tonight. She got to her hooves, and Fredrick followed suit.

And she brought herself close, never daring to break eye-contact. She smiled brightly and pressed her muzzle to his nose.

“Aye… I am. I know it hasn’t been long fer ‘us.’ Like what? One? Two months? But… you’ve…”

She averted her gaze as she fought to find the appropriate words for what she was trying to convey. Stella sighed, and cursed herself as to why she was never good at this… and the feelings of once lightness were being replaced by dread as the thoughts she wanted to lay out were in the deepest recesses of her lexicon under lock and faulty key.

“Fredrick, you shithead, ye… you’ve taken me,” she finally settled on what she felt was right to her.

Fred let his idle grip on her tighten into a hug, but still, their faces never wavered.

Perhaps it was just all the water-reflected glistening playing tricks on them, but Fredrick could have sworn that he saw a distinct sheen of mist in her eyes.

“You get me, Fred. If ye didn’t want tae be with me, you’d’ve run off a long time ago, during our friendship. And tae be quite honest, love, not too much has changed since we… you know,” she fumbled.

Fredrick nodded, and stayed silent.

Stella took this cue to continue:

“And well… fucks sake…” she pursed her lips, huffing out as she blinked something out of her eyes. “As shitty and vomit-y as it sounds, I’ve never felt about anypony else as I’ve felt about you. I really haven’t.

“And I wanted to show that by taking you here…” she gestured all around them.

Her voice dropped to barely a whisper.

“Somewhere that means so much to me.

“Because Fredrick… h-handsome… I love you.”

Fredrick had no words. How could he ever manage to come back to that? His mind was muddled a moment before, but had been vacated entirely by Stella’s admission. By some manner, he questioned who this mare was in front of him to bring out the sappy cannons in full force?

But almost instantly, he realized that this mare was, indeed, his marefriend.

This was a mare that he knew without any shred of a doubt, whom he loved with all his heart.

But more than that, this was his marefriend, Stella, whom he felt was more beautiful than he had ever seen her.

Not when she was dolled up, not when she was in armor, not even when she was in a bathing suit or even nude.

Now.

And from here on out, she was a goddess in Equestria. His dark-coated Venus whom he cherished so much since the first day they met.

The quick mental deliberation was all he needed to pull Stella into the tightest hug he had ever levied on her, and she reciprocated in kind with her head on his chest.

“I love you, Stella. No matter how short of a time we’ve been together.”

The two relished each other in silence—the world no longer existed outside of their sanctuary chamber. They swayed in a nonexistent breeze to the audible rainfall that quickly became a white noise to the two, closer lovers in a sea of newly freed emotions.

Their hearts beat unrestrained in their chests, drumming synchronized to each other’s newfound admissions and excited thoughts of things to come.

Stella pulled back just enough where she could see all of Fredrick’s face. To her, he was the stud amongst studs at this moment.

She positively beamed and gestured forward with her muzzle.

“Say it again, Fred.”

Fredrick tilted his head.

“Say what?”

“Oh, you know exactly what. Say it fer me, babe. Come on,” Stella urged with child-like enthusiasm, letting the pet name she had never used for him slip from her mouth.

Fredrick mirrored her own smile.

“I love you, Stella.”

Stella pulled herself impossibly tighter against him.

“Say it again?”

“I love you, Stella.”

Stella, with a cuteness that even Fredrick didn’t know she was capable of, tilted her head innocently and widened her eyes.

“One more time?”

“I love you, Stella!”

Stella closed the distance between their mouths and pressed her lips to his. Her hands snaked their way up his back and held his neck in place, in case Fredrick had any bright ideas of leaving at this moment of historic importance.

Of course, Fredrick had no intention of doing any such thing, but had the same idea to hold her face in place as their lips reacquainted themselves. Eyes fluttered shut as they only allowed themselves to feel and hear, like they always had before in their shared moments of intimacy.

The rain continued to come down and patter their outside, and contribute to the small waterfall at the center of their chamber to add to the ever-romantic ambiance. The couple’s lips combined and separated with gentle, wet smacks with little care for frequency. Their warm breath broke like waves on the vast Equestrian shoreline against their cheeks, serving to heat them even more as the temperature gradually dropped. As their heartrates increased, their clothes became that much tighter on their bodies, and their breathing became that much more labored. They salivated for the very concept of each other, an internal thirst that refused to abate like the constancy of the water curtain faithfully flowing.

After a gentle moan on both sides, the two separated… then after a few extra moments, they let their eyes flutter open.

Fredrick was struck again just by how beautiful Stella was in this moment. In her normal wear, she stared back at him under the veil of her eyelashes… but this was not just a mare who was his marefriend, after all.

This was a mare who loved him.

And that thought again, sent butterflies exploding in the same type of shrapnel-laden grenade in his stomach. His entire world was set alight by a combined feeling of caring, love, and lust that muddled together all simultaneously.

“Well…” Fredrick broke the silence first. “That was… wow. That was probably the best kiss you and I’ve shared so far.”

Stella bit her lower lip with one of her fangs, then licked her lips.

“I happen tae agree, love~,” she said drunkenly, looking up to him with a pride and a love that she had never let show in full-force.

She placed a hand on his chest for good measure, just to feel that heartbeat that had become metronomically intoxicating to her.

“You know…” Fredrick began anew. “I’ve had this retarded video fantasy where I’ve wanted to kiss my girlfriend in the rain. It hasn’t happened yet so, hopefully you and I can share one soon,” he hinted.

Stella, at that mention, had other plans.

“Well, maybe I can give ya the next best thing!” she replied, separating from him and sashaying her way over towards the center of the room.

She glanced behind her and undid the ponytail in her mane as she stepped up to the water curtain that continued to cascade diligently down into oblivion. Stella flipped her long mane free and placed extra emphasis on the sway of her ass as she strutted.

Before she stepped in with a leg planted forward, she glanced back at a clearly-enticed Fredrick.

“How ‘bout ye follow me in here… I won’t fuck you in here—that’s just rude. But how ‘bout you an’ I lay down fer a while~?” she questioned with that innocent inflection.

Wordlessly, Fredrick’s face lit up like it was Hearth’s Warming once he got wind of her idea, and took large strides over to her.

Stella giggled all girly-like and stepped into the water curtain. Her clothes, coat, and mane got just wet enough for effect, but not enough to soak her to the bone.

And beyond the veil, she turned on her hooves to face Fredrick, who only had a thin curtain of flowing water separating him from his gorgeous thestral mare, distorted by the purest element of nature.

As if he needed any more enticing, Stella closed her eyes briefly and allowed a gentle tune of nature to enter her mind… and with that she began to sway to a random routine… a figurative siren’s call into the void for her brave human just beyond.

She promised good times for him… and Fredrick was more than willing to oblige.

Like her mere moments before, Fredrick stepped through the curtain of water and joined his mare who held her arms wide open and with a lascivious smile on her face. He bounded into her embrace and lavished her with one of his own… and there they held each other, warm, yet wet.

No further words needed to be said as they stared at one another. Her mane had flattened against her head, courtesy of the water, and her ears cutely poked through her flowing ocean of navy blue. As darkness continued to set in and the natural light of the crystals reflected more and more off the walls, her golden eyes became that much more radiant, and sent Fredrick’s heart into a flurry at just how enticing she was.

Her golden eyes were his weakness, injecting the butterflies directly into his stomach even when he didn’t want them. Her predatorial pupils, however, induced a fight-or-flight reflex that pumped adrenaline straight into his body. When these two melded together in the crucible of their aggregate relationship, it introduced a feeling into his core that was unlike any other.

She was a drug to him.

It was a feeling so powerful, that Fredrick felt himself at a loss for words as to what to do in the more intimate moments… he felt he had to let go of rational thought and let Stella do the whisking away.

And every single time he relinquished this implicit control to her, he was always rewarded in ways he could never have imagined.

Stella’s arms wrapped snuggly around his neck, and Fredrick’s arms around her waist, lifting her shirt just enough so he could feel her tummy.

Stella blinked heavily and let a couple drops of water flake off her eyelashes. She leaned in again and, though she did not allow their lips to touch, she had one last thing to say…

…one last thing as Fredrick felt Stella pull him towards the ground and on top of her, letting gravity have its way with both of them.

“I love you, Fredrick…”

“I love you, too, Stella…”

Their lips fused together once again, and as Stella lay back in the comfortable bed of moss and clovers, Fredrick gently lay his body weight atop of her, and embraced her tightly as their lips did all the communicating for them.

Face to face.

Chest to chest.

Heart to heart.

Both were now blissfully unaware of the coruscating, cascading water around them, shielding them from the outside world and containing them in their own little moment in time. The sun finally set, and the moon began its course in the sky above as the rain continued to fall…

…and they were none the wiser.

Author's Note

Love is blooming for this couple! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :twilightsmile:

16. Conundrums of the Smaller Sabre

[One Day Later | Late at Night…]

The fourth day on vacation in Thestralshire was upon Fredrick, at least technically speaking. The clock’s hands in Stella’s room fell squarely at five-past two in the morning, but in the human’s objective opinion, the next day didn’t start until he woke up to start said day.

It was kind of an unwritten rule in humanity.

But alas, it was thirst from his body that roused him from a warm, rainy slumber in the embrace of Stella's bed and her arms. It demanded water at this instant if he ever wanted to return to the land of the comatose.

A groggy Fredrick slithered out of Stella's admittedly cute grasp, and cursed aloud once his warm feet touched the cool ground.

His eyes were beginning to adjust quite nicely to the darker environment, though that was probably helped by the soft, purple glow of the dim night lights. Thankfully, the rest of his body didn’t suffer from the cold spell, as sweat pants and a longer-sleeved shirt for sleeping were in order for the evening.

With a gentleness reserved for infants, Fredrick creaked open the door and slinked his way out to the hallway. The entire abode was as quiet as a grave, only overtaken by the nightly rainstorm pattering rhythmically on the roof. Fredrick, likewise, treaded lightly on his feet as he made his way into the kitchen, greeted by more dim lights from the walls upon a blackened horizon.

It was a simple matter of beelining to a particular cabinet above the sink which contained all the Sabre family glassware. The disheveled-haired Fredrick swiped a scotch glass at random and held it under the faucet to fill.

Water had never tasted so good.

The human figured a couple glasses would do just fine to quench his thirst—not too much or he’d have to get up again and piss his life away. He turned around and leaned his back against the sink, and there he decided to sip his water in groggy silence. Fred’s mind wandered to nothing specific as he mindlessly stared into the darkness of the kitchen and dining room, pondering life’s deepest conundrums and questions.

What’s the meaning of life?

Should I buy a boat?

Is Stella nimble and acrobatic enough to blow me while she wraps her legs around my neck so I can munch some puss?

Then, lightning flashed and flickered the abode to life. His attention was instantly honed on a silhouetted figure—with brilliant sapphire eyes the only defining feature regarding him with gentle indifference—reclining back in a chair.

The pit of his stomach did not find this in the least bit okay, as it hollowed out and nearly dropped to the floor out of his asshole.

“S’goin’ on, mate?”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Sveta!” Fredrick nearly lost hold of the glass in his hand, fumbling with his own startled up mind. “FUCK your guys’ stealthy fucking… lurking.

The veiled mare huffed in amusement, then pointed down the hall.

“Oi yer supposed tae shit yerself in the pissroom, not on the pristine tile floor, ya twat,” she spoke softly, yet with every bit of tone a Sabre was known for.

Fredrick creased his lips and shook his head at the stealthy one.

“Stella pretty much said the same shit to me three weeks ago. You two’re definitely sisters…”

Still shrouded in shadow, Sveta breathily chuckled and took a swig of some water herself… at least, that’s what Fredrick figured when he heard her slurping after telltale clinking of nails against glass.

“You still seem legitimately surprised that we’re related. Why?”

Fredrick remained on his side of the kitchen, still leaning against the counter while he cradled what remained of his water in the glass. He swirled the contents lightly before shrugging—his eyes refocused themselves on the pools of sapphire staring back at him.

“Dunno. I think it’s because Stella is like…” he swirled his glass again to probe his thoughts for the proper vocabulary. “…like, the most goddamn extreme of ponies I’ve met. She’s so unbelievably unique in several regards that I just can’t fathom that she was spawned from similar-minded ponies.

“Like, if someone told me that she reproduced asexually, I really wouldn’t be surprised. Anyone who can birth that kind of power should be weaponized.”

A cute giggle escaped Sveta’s mouth, and all Fredrick saw was her expression through her narrowed eyes.

Said eyes re-oriented themselves back on his.

“Damn, Fred. You’ve got a mite fuckton of praise fer her. Nice tae see something that’s genuine fer once.”

It was Fredrick’s turn to huff, though for him, it was at another horde of fuzziness welling up in his stomach at Stella’s image.

“What can I say? She’s definitely earned it. And what the hell do ya mean ‘for once?’ Not like I can be fake or rude to her… I’m her boyfriend. Kinda my job… and one that I enjoy,” he pointed for emphasis into the darkness.

Fredrick heard Sveta scoffing in the void, and then what sounded like forced gagging. Even so, her response was as much part genuine incredulity as it was choreographed.

“Fuck me five figures from Friday, Fred… yer disgustingly in love with her.

“And I love every minute of it.”

Fredrick returned her words with a lopsided smirk as he finished the remainder of his water.

“And here I thought you had no appreciation for affection like that. Half the time we’re being shitheads anyway so…”

“Oi!” Sveta replied with a finger pointed right at Fred—said appendage appeared out of the darkness and into the light from the dining room window. “I used tae be smothered in feelings n’ shit when I was a wee bit of a younger lass. Had all the colts wrapped around me fingers lemme tell ya.”

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow and angled his head away from her in odd disbelief.

“And… you don’t now? Find that hard to believe.”

“Oh I never said I don’t anymore. I still do, but I used tae, too,” she quipped. “But really, I’m navigatin’ through a river of shit most of the time since I got tae university. Things didn’t last.”

Fredrick propelled himself from the counter so he could get a little more blood flowing back through his underappreciated legs at the moment.

“Maybe I’m being an insensitive prick, but I don’t know how you of all ponies have issues reeling in dudes. You honestly have the pick of the crowd, if we’re being serious here.”

Fredrick was only returned the hollow breathing because of Sveta finishing off her own drink. Her reply was nonchalant.

“So I’ve heard.”

Again, Fredrick’s turn to be a tad curious. He ran a hand through his amber-brown mop of a head that desperately needed a comb.

Goddamn I need a haircut.

“Well, someone’s humble,” he riposted.

Sveta shrugged.

“Oi, when people give me compliments, I own ‘em! Especially the fuckin’ genuine ones, as you so self-proclaim.”

Her tone dropped to more reserved levels.

“Thank you, though. It means more than ye know tae hear somepony like you say that.”

Fredrick nodded kindly in response, a soft crease of a smile on his face at the acknowledgement. Even so, that didn’t answer one question that had arisen from her last words.

“But what did you mean when you said ‘so I’ve heard?’ That actually sounded serious.”

Sveta explained in a rather direct, sarcastic way most befitting of her family name.

“Stella briefed me on everythin’ that happened while you two were out walkin’ or fingerblasting each other… Tartarus, I dunno what the fuck you two do on yer free time,” she informed, then promptly continued.

“And you bet yer sweet arseflaps that included all the conversation topics and the spicy session ye helped yerselves to in our sanctuary… fuck you both very much fer that, by the way.”

Fredrick was more than content to banter it up with the youngest Sabre at a little past two in the morning… but he was a little more concerned with Sveta’s rather forward claim of being ‘briefed on everything.’

He opened his mouth to answer, but was promptly silenced when Sveta’s voice interjected from beyond the darkness.

“And aye, Fredrick, that includes everything you said about me in particular. Gotta say, never knew you were such a… charmer. I’m startin’ tae understand just a wee bit why Stella gets all ‘slickety slit’ around ye…”

Fredrick went red in the face as per primal reaction… though he wasn’t exactly ‘caught in the act’ of being forced to size her up, he sure as shit was not comfortable with Sveta knowing his inner thoughts about her.

Well, at least so soon.

And to be honest with himself, with these thoughts resurfacing, he still had a hurdle to overcome in terms of comfort.

“Well, I figured she’d tell you eventually. Stella’s straight to the point anyway so… guess I’m not sure why I’m surprised.”

A confident chuckle echoed gently through the kitchen, and Sveta pushed back the chair she was reclining in so she could stand up straight. A strained whine, an accompanying ‘pop,’ and an immediate sigh of relief had Fredrick figuring that she had stretched herself out.

Then, with nary a word, Sveta sauntered silently into the light, letting the single beam from the outside scan its way up her body to reveal her in a baggy, oversized white tank top with a black bra for accent and support. Her mane had been divested from it’s ponytail that the two dynamic sisters were known for. Her wavy mane instead flowed down her back, with her bangs veiling her face partially in place of the darkness. Her brilliant eyes still shined through

Fredrick wasn’t sure about any bottoms she was wearing on account of the aforementioned tank but he figured it was some form of ‘Schrödinger’s Panties’ so he’d let things be the way they were.

“You seem… tense. What’s keepin' you up?” Sveta questioned, hoisting herself on an adjacent counter to sit and let her legs dangle.

Fredrick, in a moment of haze, did have to admit that Stella was right: Sveta had legs for days.

He, in turn, got a little more comfortable in his previous position.

“I was actually just thirsty. Why're you up?” he asked in return.

Sveta shrugged, then stared off for a moment.

“Eh, one o' those nights where I just can’t fuckin' sleep.” She then breathily giggled. “And if a drink and a good wank don’t fix that, then I don’t think I’m fuckin' sleeping t'night, mate,” she informed.

Fredrick regarded her with sympathetic knowing.

“Heh, god do I know that feeling more intimately than I wanted to…”

Sveta joined in on the chuckle chorus, then dropped herself back to the floor to stand a little closer to Fredrick.

For him, while his eyes demanded he stare down into more enticing and sacred valleys, there was just something about staring eye-to-eye with a pretty batpony mare… it was a simultaneous feeling of dreadful unease, yet alluring excitement—borderline arousal. His fight-or-flight reflexes were stirring mildly, yet at the same time, upon gazing into those deep, sapphire pools, he felt at peace.

Like similar instances with Stella, Fred found himself struggling to rationalize his feelings. It was little different here with Sveta, especially when she had every opportunity to bring up him potentially putting his wiener in her.

Sveta planted herself right in front of Fredrick, and her difference in height with Stella made it so that Fred barely had to look down to meet her scrutinizing gaze.

“I c'n smell the apprehension in you…” Sveta alluded, sniffing the air around the human for extra emphasis.

Fredrick hadn’t the mind to recoil—his furrowed, confused, and mildly disturbed eyes at the mare's odd foray into his personal space told all. His mouth had morphed into somewhat of a scowl.

Sveta giggled heavily into her hand, lest she'd have lost it completely at his expression—she couldn’t control the quiet snort that snuck out from her throat.

To Fred’s credit, he replied sarcastically:

“Well that totally wasn’t weird and against any form of social norms at all.”

The teal-coated Sabre then followed up knowingly:

“And you’re an expert in sarcastic evasion…” Sveta smirked, narrowed her eyes, and nodded. “Aye. You’ll fit in here just fine.

“But the question is. Why are you so… nervous? Never came off as nervous tae me when we first met. In fact, you seemed fairly confident…”

And as if to test his tumultuous thoughts on ‘certain matters,’ she stepped even closer to him. Further, in a show of faux innocence that was as facetious as it was infuriating, she hugged her hands together in front of her torso, effectively squeezing her chest together more than it already was within its constraints.

She also fluttered her eyes as she awaited the answer to a ‘very important’ question.

Bitch.

Fredrick had nowhere else to back up to, as his mid-back was flush against the countertop.

“Eh, Stella’s helped me in that regard. Felt I was stepping on eggshells around her when we first met, but then I learned to just let things happen, for the most part,” he admitted.

Sveta kept her one-sided smirk, and her smugness did not abate.

“Ya didn’t answer me question, Freddy…”

“Jesus, did Stella put you up to this? You both are really gung ho about making me feel uncomfortable about her little umm… ‘proposition’ regarding you,” Fredrick voiced, mildly annoyed.

Sveta shook her head, giggling yet again.

“Nae. We just both like tae mess with you because yer so easily flustered… it’s hilarious.

“And, if we’re admittin’ shit… cute,” she added.

In a more unexpected move, Sveta raised her hand to Fredrick’s face and cupped the side of his cheek while getting a good look through his green eyes. She felt the tiny bit of stubble on his jawline, and she did well to clear off some random bit of hair on his cheek with her thumb.

Fredrick was not sure what to do at the gesture, but he had to admit it felt nice… her hand was warm, and her palm was as smooth as Stella’s own skin that he loved touching so much. He almost had half a mind to lean into it more, but was still struck by the brazenness of Sveta’s little overture. Likewise with him, he did not look away from those alluring sapphire eyes of hers, only bested by the golden ones of Stella’s own inviting, naturally sultry visage.

“Ahh, Fredrick…” she breathed, then huffed out with a more approving nod. Her eyelids lowered and her smile was gentle.

“Yer a good stallion. You care about me sis a lot. Through all the shite I give ya both, fer what it’s worth, I’m over the moon that yer with ‘er.

“I’ve never seen Stella happier, mate. She’s a very lucky mare… lucky bitch.”

Another genuine smile etched its way onto Fred’s features, much rivalling the one that Sveta now sported at her little admission.

And taking stock of everything he had been told in the last twenty-four hours, he decided on a move that rested far beyond the purview of his comfort zone:

He placed a tentative hand on Sveta’s waist—Sveta glanced down to see exactly what he was up to. It was innocuous enough, but in glancing back up at him, she seized the golden opportunity once he said what he had to.

“Thanks, Sveta. Means a lot… and I hope to keep her happy.”

“Well, if ya get as handsy with ‘er as ye are with me right now, I think you’ll be just fine,” she teased, flashing her pearly whites and fangs.

Fredrick smirked, chuckling.

“Fuck off.”

Sveta laughed out loud, though restrained as to not wake anypony in the house. Fredrick joined in, but the younger Sabre threw her arms around his neck and brought him in for a tender hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist as their cheeks rested against one another in the least tense, non-sarcastic moment that the two had experienced thus far.

“Nae… thank you fer puttin’ up with her, mate. And to a lesser extent, me,” she said.

A second later, she released his hold on him, but planted one exaggerated kiss on his cheek with a resounding smack. In more of her usual flair, she added:

“Mwah! Now go the fuck tae sleep, dickhead. We’ve got a nice day ahead of us,” she urged, turning on her hooves to exit the kitchen.

But not before brushing the end of her tail against Fredrick’s chest… then without warning and with an impish upturn of her lips, she smashed her now-decidedly naked ass into Fredrick’s crotch.

His eyes went wide and his hands raised as he felt a lot more than he had intended in her sudden act of grinding.

“FUCK’S SAKE, SVETA! The hell’s wrong with you?!”

She pushed off of him and turned to face him as she walked backwards towards the kitchen door, attempting (and failing) to contain her near-crying, sadistic laughter all the while.

“BAHAHA! Ya really need tae relax, Fred! Goodnight!”

Fredrick stood up straight and, having composed himself, sprung back to his normal demeanor. This was, to the T, exactly how Stella acted around him before the two of them admitted their feelings to each other and got together.

Hell, this was how it always had been with them.

“I swear I think I’m being punked and you two are clones of each other. Eat a dick.”

Sveta flashed her teeth again.

“Promise?”

Hindsight hit Fredrick like a freight train and, despite the innuendo that had a smidge of ‘too soon’ laced on top, Fredrick replied with a laugh, a middle finger, and a:

“Fuck you.”

“Promise~?”

“GO THE FUCK TO BED, SVETA!”

A mischievous chuckle was loosed in the wake of Sveta’s departure back down the hall.

As for Fredrick, his internal temperature had increased beyond what was comfortable, even throughout the cold house. His brow was laced with a tiny moisture sheen, and he felt thirsty again. At this point, pissing his life away later would have to be the future he would accept.

He held his glass under the faucet as he filled it up, then shot back the entire glass before placing it into the sink.

From there, Fredrick stared off into nothingness, letting his mind, again wander to everywhere and nowhere at the same time. In the end, his thoughts settled on his little exchange with Sveta. She had clearly known about everything, and what was to likely come of the future. She didn’t outright say anything—but her implicit mannerisms and innuendos were every key to what she was alluding to.

In the end, everything fell to the same point: Fredrick needing to relax.

Had he even truly relaxed since he got to Equestria, though? Was relaxation just a myth?

Hell, did he even want to go through with having sex with Sveta? What was even the point of it all? Just to get her more confident with herself? To get her to unwind? Shit, in Fredrick’s perspective she was just as unwound as Stella!

Fredrick pursed his lips as he leaned on the counter. He lifted his head and stared off outside the window just above the sink, and up towards the darkened, cloudy sky that dumped its gentle fury of rain.

In a conscious effort to clear his mind, Fredrick took a deep breath, sighed out, and weeded through all the irrelevant thoughts muddling him up.

Stella meant the world to him. He loved her—as recently admitted. He’d take a bullet for her, and lord knows Stella had proved to him that she’d skin anypony alive at the mere idea of he being wronged in any fashion.

Stella, the mare that he would do anything for to see her happy, had asked a favor of him. As odd as it sounded to a human who held good, strong relationships with no trickery in the highest regard, she had asked him to sleep with her younger sister…

…a younger sister who was drop-dead gorgeous in her own fashion. Their personalities were similar, though not quite identical—many of those differences manifested themselves as prominent physical features.

Sveta had apparently inquired, and had been informed as well. And based on her relentless teasing that Stella would likely find the funniest thing in the world, she seemed one-hundred percent on board with it.

“I c'n smell the apprehension in you…”

“Why are you so… nervous?”

Sveta’s words continued to echo in his mind. His moral conundrum rose over the idea of cheating, or being unfaithful to Stella.

The more interesting idea was that Stella herself was pushing this… no, exhorting him to do this. He was given a choice, and she wasn’t forcing him.

Being honest with himself as a man however, things were a little different. He was getting plenty of action with Stella… though on a digression in his mind, he realized that Stella had been initiating every sexual encounter thus far.

That had to change. He was a man with needs and Fredrick had to realize that he should not be afraid to act on those needs with his marefriend—Stella would be thrilled if he was more assertive with her in that regard. He would make a conscious effort to make that so.

In regards to Sveta, however, she definitely seemed eager. He was being the only stoppage to something that most guys would only dream of.

And in some really weird sense, this would be almost like a threesome, if it involved a ‘ye ol’ switcheroo’ in some form. Further, Sveta was not just beautiful. She was hot. His marefriend was hot, and so was her sister.

Lending more credence to the idea, and how such acts would play out, there was a stirring down south in his sweats. Sveta had nice tits, after all.

Fredrick looked down in the general direction of his crotch.

“No. Go the fuck to sleep. Sheesh.”

Fredrick realized what he just did.

I’m talking to my penis…

Fuck it. If I’m gonna bang Sveta, I’m banging Stella TWICE as hard after for making me question my sanity.

With that, Fredrick turned on his heels and strolled back into the warm, soothing embrace of Stella’s bed.

Author's Note

Smol Stella Chapter. Part 17 is looking to be sexy. No clop yet, but sexy nonetheless. You'll see. :raritywink:

Edit: Also a little extra for you all, courtesy of G_Hyze!

No wings by design.

18. Whirlwind

Author's Note

Full chapter well over 20K words. Releasing the larger, meatier part first while I continue correcting and fixing up the main clop scene. So here's that larger part with some spicieness in it.

Let's agree to never do this long of a 'chapter' again...

18. Whirlwind

Fredrick did not know what to expect as the afternoon waned and dusk quickly approached. Though, despite the temperature being only a mite bit warmer than the previous evenings, Stella and Sveta instructed him to wear a bathing suit when it became time to venture out.

That alone was enough to spark some excitement within him… more so because he hadn’t been swimming in a while rather than the chance at seeing both Sabre sisters in (hopefully) skimpy bikinis.

Well, at least that's what his interpretation of his own mental ramblings dictated as he was awaiting the girls to finish getting ready... for the last forty-five minutes.

Some things never changed from world-to-world, dimension-to-dimension.

Fred sat on the edge of Stella’s bed while his marefriend and her sister occupied the nearest restroom in their quest to finish making themselves 'presentable' for the evening, whatever that meant for a simple dip in the pool. With a short-sleeved, black shirt and an identically colored bathing suit to match, Fred’s attention was engaged entirely with his phone as he flipped through some of the pictures he had taken in the last couple of months in Equestria. Said pictures spanned from when he and Stella's relationship was fledgling, up to the past couple of days here in Thestralshire.

With his left hand casually stroking his lower lip, the human thumbed to the next picture in his camera roll:

It was a selfie from a beaming Stella, one that she had taken while gesturing to a passed-out Fredrick on his bed. Even further, she had drawn a disturbingly detailed stallion penis right across his forehead with a marker.

Fredrick pursed his lips at the memory. That was the night before he had to shadow Celestia to meet with a foreign delegation. He ended up having to scrub his forehead raw just to get it all out. Luna was also able to help out with some magic, but he had to contend with her constant, shrieking laughter.

Fredrick stirred away from his phone screen at the occasional conversation that he could hear down the hall between the two sisters. It had been, usually, too muffled to hear beyond single words which were occasionally spoken louder than the others.

Those tended to be insults and slurs slung at one another though, much to the human’s entertainment.

“What… fuck off… cunt!” he barely heard, laced with a rhasp that he could identify as Stella’s several miles away.

A rush of air exited his nose and a gentle smirk found its place on the lower half of his face as he went back to swiping through some more recent memories.

However, his little trip down memory lane was again interrupted with two gentle knocks at the door.

Fredrick looked up and smiled brightly as he found Schiavona peeking into the room. Still, there was that residual awkwardness as a result of her barging right in and taking a sneaky look at Fredrick’s thang. He wasn’t annoyed about it, really, but still...

“Oh, hey Vona!” he greeted.

The matriarch smiled a toothy grin right back at him, cocking her head all the while.

“S’goin’ on, mate?” she inquired.

Fredrick shrugged.

“Bah, not much. Just waiting for Stel’ and Svet’ to finish up before we head out for the evening,” he informed, having lay his phone right beside him on Stella’s bed.

Vona rolled her eyes.

“How long’ve those vain cunts been in there?”

Fredrick glanced at his wrist, where a watch would have been if he wore one.

“I’d say about forty-five minutes or so,” he answered, then added with a hint of unease:

“Not really sure what they’re doing in there, to be honest. We just need bathing suits and some casual clothing, really. They're probably… scheming.”

Vona stepped deeper into the room, shaking her head whilst thumbing over her shoulder oh-so matter-of-factly.

“I c’n drag their asses outta there if they’re keepin’ ya too long,” she offered.

Fredrick was quick to shut that down with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

“It’s all good, I don’t mind waiting, really. Not like I have anywhere else to be, anyway,” he said.

Vona, however, also took that as the perfect moment to address the elephant in the room.

“Well, either way… sorry about walkin’ in on you two earlier. Pretty ballsy of ya tae do shit like that at high noon… I’m actually impressed, mate,” she informed with another cheeky smile.

For Fredrick, hearing that from her ensured that the whole debacle was just a hilarious incident, and nothing more than a tiny debacle. A nonissue.

“Water under the bridge, Vona,” Fredrick replied with the appropriate hand gesture.

Vona placed her hands on her hips, cocking them to the right.

“Hell, as forward as Stella is, I don’t think I’d’ve ever thought she had it in ‘er tae do somethin’ like that… she hates explainin’ her relations with others tae us. It’s actually really fuckin’ funny, tae go windin’ ‘er up about it.”

Fredrick couldn’t stifle the genuine laughter that made its way out of his throat, nor the beaming, familiar smile that had struck his features.

“Yep. You’re definitely her mom,” he said, nodding.

It was Schiavona’s turn to shrug, and return that cheeky, innocent smile to her face that was so quintessentially ‘Stella’ that it was uncanny.

“Was there ever a doubt, love?”

With a pursed smile, Fredrick shook his head.

“No. Never. Since the moment we met.”

Her fangs seemed to shimmer in the unnatural light.

“Good answer, mate.”

Vona flipped a portion of her bangs out of her face and again thumbed over her shoulder.

“Seriously though, I c’n drag ‘em out by their thongs if they’re holdin’ you up.”

Fredrick waved her offer off.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Besides, I’ve got my entertainment right here!” he said, brandishing his phone.

Vona cocked her head.

“Aye?”

“Yup! Got pictures of us from the past few months!”

Vona's face brightened at the mention of 'pictures,’ and Fredrick saw Stella's trademark expression written all over her.

“Oooh lemme 'ave a look, aye~?” she squee’d, planting herself right next to Fredrick on her bed. In a display of complete violation of personal space and boundaries in the most Sabre-esque fashion, Vona wrapped both her arms around Fredrick's neck and leaned against him to get a comfortable look.

However, the little contraption in Fredrick’s hand did well to dumbfound her.

“The fuck is this thing, anyway?” Vona dared to inquire.

Fredrick, however, was already thinking of what he could show Vona, so he wasn’t in much of a mood to go through the whole 'human technology' spiel again.

He replied, skirting the subject:

“Ehhh it’s some human tech, but one of the best things about it is that it holds a bunch of pictures. Here, check this one out!”

The first picture that Fredrick brought up was one of his personal favorites: one of he and Stella at one of their favorite restaurants. The two, in casual clothing, had an arm slung around each other and were beaming at the camera. Fredrick remembered that he had a passer-by take the picture of them at this point, and with Stella’s open-mouthed, fangy smile, he could tell right away that she was somewhat tipsy.

Vona’s eyes, in turn, lit up.

“That’s just wonderful,” she voiced, and her higher pitch was downright adorable. “You two at least take good fuckin’ pictures together! Got somethin’ goin' fer ya!” she also joked.

Fredrick brushed his fingers across the screen and swiped to what he hoped was the next picture in that fun evening, one that he was reminiscing about…

...and then a sneaky selfie downshirt of Stella’s squeezed, bra-clad chest was on full, beautifully lit display for what was presumably his eyes and his eyes only.

He decided not to wait for any reaction from Vona and did what any normal human male would have done in such a scenario.

“OOOKAAAAY then, let’s move on… I don't remember that one. Goddamn it Stella...” he voiced, his exaggerated tone laced with trepidation.

Vona, naturally, had a few words. She giggled into her hand.

“You two need tae fuckin’ relax… don’t go burning out so soon, aye?”

Fredrick was quick to rush to his defense, hands up.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that she’s insane half the time!” he said, laughing at the end as well. “Trust me, I don’t ask to find all the sexy pics on my phone that just pop up at random intervals… she’s too smart and sneaky for her own good, that mare.”

Vona figured that was at least partially true.

“Mhmm,” she responded with an only partially convinced nod. “What’s really interestin’ is that, she’s really only like that with those that she really cares about in the whole, romatic-y nausiatin’ sense. Not really surprisin’ since you two are together,” she then added.

Fredrick, however, issued a correction.

“Well, based on the time when that picture was taken, that was about two months before we actually became an item.”

Vona raised a lone, perfectly contoured eyebrow.

“Oh? Now, that is surprising,” she corrected herself.

The matriarch righted her posture to face Fredrick more fully, then crossed her right leg over her left to ensure propriety.

“Hope you don’t mind me pryin’ with some usual parentin’ gobshite, but it looks like you’ve got fuck-all else tae do…”

Fredrick was more than willing and able, and he gestured with an open palm and mischievous smirk.

“Sure thing! You and Vampir never really asked me much about… me. I’m actually surprised, as I was expecting you both to castrate me if I wasn’t good enough for your daughter or something,” Fred jested.

Schiavona let the banter roll off her shoulder.

“Nah mate, that practice died out a couple decades ago.”

Fred blinked.

“Huh?”

“What?”

“Didn’t you just…?”

“The fuck’re ya on about, you cheeky twat?” came an oh-so innocent diversion.

Fredrick blinked a couple of times and shook his head.

“Right. Well, anyway, yeah of course. Ask away!” he affirmed.

Vona leaned forward to ask a rather pressing question that had been on her mind since she met Fredrick:

“When you first met Stella… what did you think of her? Just curious…”

As for the human, he actually had to think for a moment on that. That night was a whole mish-mash of emotions and thoughts that he wasn’t exactly sure what he thought of her precisely when the guardsmare introduced herself so suddenly. After all, it was only supposed to be a quick asking for directions and that would’ve been the end of that.

But no, she just had to go out of her way to be friendly to him.

“Well, I thought she was an upstanding mare. Exceedingly friendly and well-mannered to a fault,” he so succinctly summarized.

Vona, however, was not convinced.

“‘Upstandin’?’ ‘Friendly an’ well-mannered?’” she reiterated. Who exactly was he talking about?

“Don’t lie tae me, colt!” she demanded, jutting an index finger into Fred’s chest.

Fredrick chuckled at the insinuation.

“Heh, hey I never said she wasn't insane beyond belief… but she was a good mare when I first met her," he nodded. "She was my first friend, after all,” he noted.

Vona considered his words.

“True. She does have an uncanny ability take make friends as easily as enemies… usually the latter, though…”

Fredrick smirked.

“Oh believe me… I’ve seen both of those in action many, many times… sometimes to the same pony in the span of ten minutes!” he relayed, so fondly having recalled a certain incident in the Stalactite where she met one of her kin.

All was well one second… then he and Highground had to stop her from killing the mare, the next.

Schiavona narrowed her eyes and donned a much more disbelieving look. She pointed towards the door.

“Do ya have any idea how often I’ve had tae take her outta school ‘cause she started fuckin’ fights?”

Fredrick's eyes widened and he leaned forward with extra-rapt interest.

“HAH! Really?? She actually started fights in school? I'm not sure why I'm so surprised at that...”

“Every. Single. One.”

Though, Vona went one step further and carefully explained one caveat to her assertion:

“Thing is, nopony could prove she started them. Never. It was impressive, really. But I knew.”

She then sat up straight and flipped a few errant strands of her bangs out of her face. And with an additional prodding of Fred’s shoulder with her fist, she added:

“Call it a mother’s intuition, mate.”

Fredrick chuckled.

“Intuition that your daughter is a hellspawn that can't get along in a civilized society?”

Schiavona shrugged once more with her own knowing smirk. An air of familiarity passed over her features as she replied:

“Oi, sometimes the urge tae punch some cunt is impossible tae ignore, love. She's just like me in that sense—couldn't really fault 'er fer it. I lived it fer over twenty years,” she emphasized with a hand to her chest.

“Heh, I could never do that,” Fred replied, shaking his head in mild disbelief. He then added with a little extra playful snark:

“It’s a wonder your family hasn’t gone extinct by now.”

And of course Vona had something quite pertinent to counter to that:

“Well mate, ya do realize that I married into this family, right? I’m a Sabre now, but I wasn’t born that way. I’m sure you’re aware of that though…” she said, fluttering her eyelashes oh-so infuriatingly.

“In fact, me maiden name is ‘Cutlass.’”

Oh. Right.

Still, Fredrick was presented with a golden opportunity and he was not one to squander as such.

“More like you ‘cut lasses,’ amirite?”

Vona rolled her eyes hard to the point where it looked like Fred’s shitty pun actually caused her physical pain. That was the power of puns though: simultaneously amazing and the bane of existence, while being able to manifest their terrible punchlines as physical pain.

How many advantages could a corny individual have?

“If I had a bit fer everytime that joke was made, I’d probably ‘ave bought out the princesses themselves,” she replied with a slight edge of mirth under her breath.

Clearly, she wasn’t a fan of that.

“Oi mum!” came a familiar voice from the doorway.

Both looking up, they found Stella in a crimson v-neck with her usual black short-shorts. The pink support string of a swimsuit top could be seen around her neck, with the entire garment expertly hidden from view under her unassuming clothing.

“Ya done tryin’ tae fuck me coltfriend?” she asked with a single, exposed fang through her lopsided smirk.

Fredrick averted all gazes in the room.

“Oh Jesus Christ…”

Schiavona stood up, stretched her shirt back out before making her way towards the door, unfazed.

“You fuckin’ wish, love! An’ just fer that, yer father an’ I ‘re gonna have primal, bawbag-bustin’ sex on yer bed when you’re all out!” she riposted with a very real threat.

Fredrick was powerless to contain his cackling, and he doubled over on the bed—especially at the sight of Stella's horrified, disgusted face. It wasn't something he was privy to very often, and even less so was he the cause of it. He cherished every time it manifested itself.

“Oh… oh fuck!” Fredrick wheezed. “I'm gonna have a heart attack!”

“Please don't…” Stella exhorted.

“Sucks fer you, lass!” came Sveta's own reply to the little fiasco as she waltzed into Stella's domain. Her bright-pink v-neck shirt contrasted starkly with her teal coat and sapphire eyes, and her own choice for black, denim short-shorts was well-placed.

Schiavona brushed passed both her taller daughters with an air of confidence several times their combined heights.

“Don't think yer exempt, me lovely daughter with tits-that-are-clearly-not-from-me-gene-pool…~”

Sveta recloiled, flabbergasted.

“An’ just what the fuck did I do?!”

Vona brought her youngest daughter’s face low for a quick, motherly kiss on the cheek.

“Exist.”

She then promptly made her exit and strode down the hall with her usual pep in her step that had come to define the Sabre matriarch. The ‘OG Stella,’ as it were.

After everyone in the room had seen Schiavona off, Stella and Sveta turned towards a recovering Fredrick, and beckoned him to his feet.

“Well mate?” Stella called. “We goin’?”

[Thestralshire Crystal Caverns | A Little While Later…]

Equestria in and of herself was a land constructed of pure majesty. Hell, this world, much like Earth, had its own sets of natural wonders and sights to behold that would steal the unknowing breath out of anypony that dared allow it to take them by surprise…

...and no, Fredrick was, for once, not referring to Stella’s and Sveta’s racks.

The human’s eyes glinted and absorbed every bit of shimmering light that reflected off the walls of the cavern path that both mares were currently leading him through.

Darkened, onyx-black and stone cave walls gave way to jagged, symmetric fields of crystals that splintered across said walls like the elegant, flowing quills of a porcupine. Pallets of colors from the deepest sapphires to the brightest pink seemed to ‘breath’ and pulse with the redirection of natural light within the cave, and light-reflections gave way to a disco-ball like effect as the trio meandered through this natural wonderland.

The smile that was plastered on Fredrick’s face was hard-pressed to leave, even at the prospect of muscle memory taking hold much like the childhood myths. His face was warmer at the sheer happiness of the majesty he was seeing… as a nature freak since back home on Earth, he lived for nice hikes out with friends and seeing the wonders of his local area in which he could get lost in.

That beautiful, lush waterfall back in Hawaii might as well have been a turd sandwich compared to the likes of what he had seen thus far here in Equestria.

Thankfully, the human was well grounded by Stella, who let her posture sag as they walked, courtesy of he letting her hang her arms around his neck. Sveta remained detached from the both, conferring onto them a story with mildly animated hands.

Stella, was in absolute stitches and on the verge of busting out laughing.

“I can’t deal with this fuckin' story…” she giggled out, pressing her face into Fredrick’s back as she fought with every fiber of her being to contain her impending guffaw.

Fredrick was in no better straits as he wordlessly cued Sveta to continue her tale of a particularly terrible escapade.

“…so already shit wasn’t goin’ well. Date was terrible, but at least the food is good,” Sveta finished reasoning.

The cavern widened out, and the trio passed unhindered through a field of jagged crystals that sprung out of the ground like blades of grass on an untouched field.

“And you still went back and slept with him?!” Fredrick asked, in disbelief.

Stella pressed her cheek into Fred’s shoulder to shield her own high-pitched giggling, borderline squeaking.

Sveta, for her part, shrugged with a rather guilty smirk.

“Oi, everypony needs tae get ‘serviced’ once in a while. I figured maybe the twat was a shit date, clearly… but maybe he’d be a halfway decent fuck. I needed a release... then I'd never see 'im again!”

Stella had more than a little to say about that when she squealed out in half-laughter.

“PFFT! Oh don’t talk wank, ya fuckin’ slag you were just horny an’ he was hot wasn’t he??”

Fredrick snickered and turned his attention back to Sveta.

“Oh? Is this true?”

Sveta squirmed a bit as they all walked, pursing her lips and refusing to look their way for a few seconds.

“Ehhh… okay fine. Aye! He was very good lookin’ and I wanted at least somethin’ decent outta that night.”

Fredrick then inferred:

“But I’m guessing that’s not what happened. At all.”

Stella’s quiet cackling was incessant by this point. It was obvious to the human that she had heard this story many, many times and it was one of her favorites… seemingly a tale of bad luck on the part of her younger sister.

Sveta sighed and shook her head, having reflected momentarily on what the hell had happened that fateful night a couple years ago.

“NOPE!” she bounced back. She, too, giggled at the thought of retelling this story but her words were not without the tiniest, detectable hint of bitterness.

“Naturally, it didn’t take much convincin’ on his part tae take me back tae his place and at least give me a modest shag…” her words trailed off, and it was not lost upon Fredrick.

He beckoned her forward.

“What happened…?”

“Well…”

Stella piped up again.

“Well, on ya go, then! Yer just cockteasisn’ now!” she demanded.

Sveta nodded and held her hand up—she was getting there.

“Right, but one thing I should mention tae you Fredrick about me…” she hung on her words. Fredrick was all ears, and Stella was almost desperately egging her on.

“I’m sure yer cool enough where ya won’t go howlin’ this shit tae the world—and I think yer cool obviously—but tae get the full context of how bad of a session this was, ya have tae know that I’m extremely sensitive… down there,” she alluded with the appropriate hand gestures.

Fred’s eyes widened a smidge, but he understood immediately.

“OHHH. Got it.” But, his desire to know more intensified. “How sensitive we talking?”

Stella, naturally, had something to say about that.

“She’s a cheap date and a cheap fuck in the greatest way possible: barely any effort tae please fer either,” she quipped.

Fredrick's jaw dropped as he turned his head to his marefriend.

"Holy shit, Stella..."

Sveta rolled her eyes, but her own smirk never waned. Again, she shrugged, guilty as charged.

“I’d tell ya tae go fuck yerself if you weren’t spot on about that. But it’s true—I really don’t like extravagant dates, and I’m really not hard tae please in bed. The latter’s a bit more of a curse than a blessin’,” she reasoned.

Fredrick was a little curious at that statement.

“Oh? How so?” he asked. “I’ve heard all the horror stories from Stella and others of how terrible a lot of stallions are in bed. One-pump chumps and all. Thought you being able to get more enjoyment in a shorter time would be a better deal?”

Sveta, resolutely shook her head much slower.

“Fuck nae. That’s just it—sometimes I just wanna enjoy it. It’s not enjoyable if I’m just getting’ into it and then my fuckin’ orgasm sneaks up on me and clubs me in the back of the head with a truncheon. You feel…” Sveta jogged her thoughts a bit and twirled her hand for the proper word.

“…full. But not always satisfied. Like eating Chineighse food! I’d have tae go again and again fer it tae really hit me an' be satisfied. But no, these dickheads are all done by that point! I can’t even take tae the top and ride ‘im fer me own pleasure because by the time I’ve mounted the fucker he’s cum and gone soft!”

Sveta caught herself after her last sentence, having realized that she had gone on a mini-rant about the generalities of her ‘experience.’ The color rushing to her sapphire cheeks was so severe, she might as well have been reflecting off the crystals.

“Heh… sorry. Got carried away, mate.”

Fredrick wasn’t offended in the slightest. Quite the contrary—this was the most in one sitting that Sveta had revealed to him about her personal life. In fact, even when she had dragged him around Thestralshire to show him the sights, they didn’t dive too deep into personal matters beyond work, school, and family.

Progress was progress, in the end.

“All good,” he dismissed with a wave.

“Aye,” Stella voiced. “Besides, ya probably got ‘im hard as these crystals talkin’ about that!” she nudged Fredrick, pushing herself off of him and forcing him to stumble.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Fred said, though Sveta could only manage an awkward chuckle.

Stella slid to the front of their path and walked backwards in front of Fredrick so she could see him eye-to eye. She rose to his words challengingly playful:

“What? Don’t gimme that shit! Ya totally enjoyed that, ya cheeky cunt! Let’s see about that!” she countered, and reached for the crotch of his pants, though Fredrick quickly batted her hand away.

His own playful smile was suspicious.

“The hell are you doing??”

“Tryin’ tae grab a feel of yer cock an’ balls, what does it look like?” she asked, unfazed by ‘public’ social norms.

She reached for him again, and he, again, batted her hand away, though it took some extra effort.

“We’re in public and in front of your sister, you wench,” he blocked her reasoning as he blocked her hand.

“And?”

She reached with both of her hands this time, but Fredrick anticipated her motions and was able to restrain her by the wrists.

He then turned his head back toward Sveta, who looked… unsure of how to react to their shenanigans.

“Anyway, please continue your story…” he said as Stella continued to flail in his hold.

“COME ON, YA SHAVEN BOLLOCK! LEMME FEEEEL!”

Sveta was more than happy to do just that.

“Right, well, as I said, I’m extremely sensitive down there tae the point where it takes very little effort tae push me over the edge. Well… even that wasn’t enough apparently.”

“Oh?” Fredrick questioned.

“YUP! I was literally in the easiest, most submissive position on me back with me legs spread wide… and fuck me mate I was bored! His form was terrible and he fuckin’ came so quick I didn’t even get a chance tae get even a tingle… that’s unheard of fer me, mate!” she detailed.

Fredrick tried to stop himself from giggling at this poor mare’s expense… but it was hopeless. Even Stella ceased her ministrations to take part.

“Fuck me this story never gets old…” she whined out in strained laughter, retaking her place next to Fredrick as they continued their stroll through the cavern. Fredrick could see an opening down in the distance as the final leg of the cave exploring was a descent into the night air.

“AND WHAT’S WORSE!” Sveta emphasized. “Was that I was not being subtle that I was bored. I fuckin’ yawned like four times. Believe me when I say this was the worst experience I had ever had… not that I had many but fuck me fer thinkin’ a hot stallion would be at least an acceptable bang.

“Then… the moment he cums inside me suddenly, he lets out this howl. He fuckin’ howls tae the goddamn moon like some primordial beast in the fuckin’ night!”

Fredrick’s jaw hit the floor and was probably dragging dirt behind the trio, and Stella had lost her shit entirely to an inconsolable, hyena-like cackle… one that echoed throughout the crystal cavern.

“Are… are you fucking kidding me?” Fredrick dared to ask.

Stella was no better for wear.

“Oh fuck… Oh god I’m gonna fuckin' die!”

“Fredrick, I wish I was. But no… I’ll never forget that night where I was arse-out, vag-out, tits-out naked, on me back, legs spread with some cunt’s dick in me, freshly cum, while this dickhead tosser is howling tae the moon. I’m honestly gonna still wake up in the night occasionally with nightmares until I die of old age.”

“Oh. My. God…” Fredrick muttered still in disbelief at how hilariously bad that was. It was so outlandishly funny that he couldn’t even manifest that with a laugh.

“Aye… so at that point. Once he was done, I pretty much said ‘Well, thanks mate, but I gotta go. Cheerio!’ and I just tucked tail an’ got the fuck outta there as fast as I could.”

Stella still was nowhere done.

“The fucking howl…” she seemed to have trouble breathing. “The fucking howl!”

“Did… did you even put your clothes back on?”

“Psh. Barely. Bra wasn’t even fittin’ right by that point but ‘fuck it.’ So, that’s when I truly learned that looks weren’t everythin’,” she stated. “Fuck me, mate… that was literally the most disappointin’ night of me life,” she continued to reflect.

Stella piped in, pointing straight ahead with a giddy smile having returned to her blushed face.

“Well, ya don’t have tae dwell on it much now, filly. We’re here! Come on!” she exclaimed, and with that she snatched Fredrick’s left hand and yanked him forward with the force of an accelerating sports car.

Having to correct himself before he faceplanted in a mixture of dirt and crushed rocks with the occasional crystal fragment, he kept pace with Stella as best he could.

Breathing heavily as he glanced over his shoulder, Sveta waved them both off—she was more than content on letting them barge ahead and take the beach, as it were. She wanted to enjoy strolling through the crystal cave and take in the sights that Fredrick wished to drink in more, anyway.

But as they were drawn out of the mouth of the cavern that connected Thestralshire to… wherever they were going, Fredrick was suddenly okay with leaving the beautiful, luminescent crystal caves behind.

His senses were stirred when three drops of a gentle drizzle plinked him right in the nose and cheeks. Stopping in his tracks when Stella permitted him, Fred gazed to the sky for a split second like a mindless turkey and indeed confirmed that they were in open air with the Northern Mountain Range’s iconic overcast skies above… the white clouds, however, were darkened on account of the sun having set a couple of hours ago, giving way to Luna’s night that was fully—almost criminally—obscured by what was the grey firmament.

Fredrick loved the rain, so concluding that it was drizzling comfortably brought an instantaneous grin to his face and a surge of warmth through his core. This was amplified when Stella took his hand… and then physically angled his face down to the main attraction.

“Look, love!”

The dried, hard dirt ground from inside the cavern had not changed once they had made their way outside. And as Stella had drawn attention to with an open palm, Fredrick lay eyes upon what looked like individual hot springs. In the temperate atmosphere that shrouded vision beyond hundreds of feet, a clearing opened up with large, jacuzzi-sized craters within the ground… craters that held water that sizzled and seemed to be on the verge of boiling with how enticingly hot they were.

There were dozens of them. Dozens-beyond-dozens... and despite how amazing a sight to behold they were, it was still a work day, because other ponies present were few and far between.

They had their pick of the craters. Their own little spa in the open rain.

Once again, Fredrick wondered how Stella ever left her home. This was paradise. This was Eden. This was everything he could have ever hoped for in a vacation.

“…Mate, are you crying?” Sveta asked pointedly, having well-caught up and her head in front of him to see his awed expression.

Fredrick was quick to wipe any form of sheen from his face.

“Nah, man,” he quickly replied, shying away for a moment as he exaggerated a sniff to feign allergies. “Just really humid over here. And allergies. Makin’ me all red and shit.”

Sveta stared right through his soul… and she was clearly not convinced in the slightest of his assertion.

“Yer somethin’ else, mate.”

“Oi! Fuckwits!” came Stella’s interjection from about fifty feet away

Both turning toward her voice, they found her retrieving the tip of her hoof from inside one of the larger baths, to which she exclaimed:

“How ‘bout you two stop fuckin’ flirtin’ an’ get over here! Water’s perfect! And you,” she pointed to Sveta. “…have the beer, ya wanker!”

Sveta hollowed her hands and shouted back:

“Aye! In yer fuckin’ wet dreams, slag! If ya colonize the entire fuckin' thing I’ll rip yer clit off, ya selfish cunt.”

The two began the easy walk over to their partner in crime, meandering past the empty crater baths just begging to be occupied.

Stella then promptly shouted back through hollowed hands:

“Promise~?”

“Aye! I promise! I’ve wanted to since I was five!” Sveta asserted.

Fredrick decided to not intervene at this point, despite the plethora of snarky remarks that he would have been able to muster at a moment’s notice should he have decided to speak up. Of course, even in jest, it was probably not wise to insert himself into the banter of the two Sabre sisters.

And as he and Sveta rejoined Stella at the brim of a large, voluminous crater did he realize that this was probably a revelation that would save his life and sanity in the future.

Sisterly banter continued in earnest, but Fredrick understood one thing about ponies as a species: they were very much like humans… probably ninety-five percent if he had to make an accurate assessment. The remaining five percent was nothing more than basic, intrinsic values that differed because of social evolution differences.

And cosmetic differences, of course.

But one thing that seemed to hold steadfast much like with humanity was the uncanny ability to unite against a common threat.

And, though Fredrick was no stranger to trading jabs (and losing) with Stella and Sveta separately, trying to take them both on at the current time would have been foolhardy, and guarantee him a two-front banter slugfest that would see his self-esteem likely beaten to a pulp.

Fredrick pushed this aside when he opted to remove his socks and shoes. While Stella and Sveta continued to jab at each other, his main call was now the alluring sound of bubbling, steaming water of the natural jacuzzi in front of them.

With the care of an utmost sensitive individual, he carefully dipped his big toe into the awaiting bath and found the temperature just a smidge hotter than most jacuzzies he was used to. To him, that wasn’t a bad thing—he felt most of them erred on the cooler side than what he would have normally liked, so this was a plus.

“Sweet! This water is perfect!” he announced, cutting through the sisterly tension like a knife.

“Told ya!” Stella replied oh so pointedly. “Now come on you two! Let’s get in, grab a drink, and fuckin’ relax fer the rest of the evenin’!”

Sveta shrugged, more than happy to be doing something else than annoying (and getting counter-annoyed by) Stella.

“Sure!”

Fredrick then weighed his opinion in:

“Don’t have to tell me twice!”

And with that, he promptly discarded his shirt, leaving him bare in his new bathing suit that he had not gotten the chance to wear in a good few months. The Guard Recreation Center that Stella sometimes snuck him into had a damn-nice pool… but this one right in front of him was crafted to perfection by Nature’s delicate hands through countless eons of erosion.

Obviously better.

As Fredrick was in the presence of two very beautiful mares—and as men were oft to do—he gave himself a sneaky look-over. He prided himself on how he was able to lose at least the worst parts of the little pudge on his lower stomach, leaving him with a rather smooth, slimmer appearance than when he had first arrived.

Some forced attendance to the GRC with Stella at odd hours of the week also contributed to him toning a little bit. He hadn’t had as much of a chance to exercise as he would have liked… not because of work hours but because he had scheduled too much time to do nothing.

Priorities.

And without much hesitation, he dropped himself into the ‘rain bath’ and immersed himself up to his hips as he took in the sensation of the light drizzle cooling his upper body, with the enveloping warmth coming from the bath.

Stella followed Fredrick right up in removing her extraneous clothing by first having dropped her short-shorts, revealing a bright pink, rather standard bikini bottom that left little of her powerful legs to the imagination. Knowing full-well that she had captured Fredrick’s attention, she had turned around during the entire process and made sure to add extra sway to her hips as she shimmied out of her bottoms.

Those slim, toned abdominals we’re nothing to balk at, either. Neither we’re her perfect just-larger-than handfuls of her pink-covered breasts, where the more triangular cups cradled them perfectly.

Stella was definitely pretty in pink.

All the while as per usual Stella antics, she never broke eye contact with Fredrick as he watched her strip down into more ‘appropriate’ attire. The command she still exuded over him in terms of her body was something she was still immensely prideful of.

Then, she undid the ponytail from her head, allowing her mane to fall perfectly to her upper back.

“Alright! Make room, dickhead!” she exclaimed.

Her tail swishing with excitement, Stella dropped all notions of alluring sexiness and jumped right in with Fredrick, splashing his entire frontside with hot water. Fredrick was no worse for wear, evident by his snickering at being bathed.

Stella emerged from underneath the surface, bathing suit firmly grasping every inch of her curves and mane beautifully straight and flattened against her head. Her eyes peaked out from under the shawl of her bangs whilst her ears cutely poked out of the damp forest.

Then, all attention fell on Sveta.

“Well?” Stella beckoned with both hands to her inappropriately dry and dressed sister. “Get a move on, lass!”

The younger Sabre rolled her eyes and grasped at the hem of her shirt.

“Aye. Let’s get this over with.”

Fredrick had been too occupied with Stella splashing him with water and soaking him to the core to notice Sveta stripping down to more appropriate attire, but, when he finally glanced up over the edge of the rain bath to just focus on some movement on his peripheral vision… time slowed in proportion to the size his eyes dilated.

Sveta, with no regard for sexiness much unlike Stella, had peeled her pink shirt off her torso and haphazardly discarded it behind her with the rest of their belongings. One last flick of a button and a zip later, her shorts were crumpled on the floor at her hooves… which she promptly stepped out of and kicked behind her to join its fallen partners in crime.

And in their wake stood a slim, busty mare that was conjured out of the collective dreams of all straight stallions in the world.

Two fangs framed her lower lip, unlike Stella’s snaggle that was so endearing. She then, like Stella, let cut her ponytail loose and shook her own navy-blue mane free of its unnatural bounds… which fell a tad lower than Stella’s did on her back.

Her hips were smaller than Stella’s, though Fredrick’s eyes casually wandered up her slim tummy. Grooves of the muscle underneath lining her very lightly-defined abs (much unlike Stella’s) were a telltale sign of a mare who kept herself in shape via the gym.

And then, came the greatest eye-candy of all—her chest.

The neat tuft of ‘floof’ on her sternum disappeared enticingly into the valley of her already-established large bosom. The pink cups strained just a little bit to comfortably nestle those perfect teardrop-shaped breasts in their embrace, but only had the effect of creating a natural chasm that would make any straight stallion and gay mare salivate with lust at the teal-coated beauty.

Her tail coiffed and curled to the small of her back as she unceremoniously stretched herself out, thrusting her balled-up fists to the floor and her bust outward for the briefest of moments—it lasted a lifetime to an embarrassed yet enraptured Fredrick.

Stella once again manually closed his jaw.

“See somethin' ya like, mate?” she whispered with characteristic snark.

“Oh shut the hell up, you,” he shot back to muffled cackling.

“Righto,” Sveta turned her attention back to them, and Fredrick did well to seem much more normal rather than someone who just sized her up.

She then took her first steps into the sizzling water and made sure to pull the cooler with all the drinks with her so that it rested on the edge of the crater. As she angled it just right, she had to turn around, which afforded Fredrick an uninhibited view of her backside.

Hm. Cute butt!

Stella still held the crown for asses, but Sveta was certainly no slouch in that department.

“Grabbin’ beers?” Stella asked.

“Aye.”

The latter then fished three beers out of the cooler and handed one to Stella and Fredrick before taking a seat on the underwater ledge that ran along the inside of the crater. The others followed suit, with Fredrick sitting between his marefriend and her sister.

The water came to just above the mare’s chests, though Fredrick being the taller one, the waterline came to the middle of his pecs. Sveta was also a taller mare, so perhaps he was lucky in the sense that the waterline did not obscure the top of her cleavage.

It’s like the universe was just teasing him at this point…

“The fuck…” Stella blurted out as she took hold of the beer bottle, examining the label with a rather irritated look on her face. “What kinda shite did ya buy? You didn’t buy beer, ya bought concentrated piss!” she complained.

Sveta, naturally, was not having any of it.

She rolled her eyes and angled her face towards Stella, having to look past Fred to concentrate her return ire on her sister.

“Well that’s what ya fuckin’ get fer decidin’ tae sleep in and bang her coltfriend and not come with me tae go shoppin’ fer today. Yer fuckin’ fault, not mine, cunt.”

Stella cut back in disbelievingly:

“Well excuuuuuuuuse me fer thinkin’ yer tastes refined at all since I’ve been gone, ya fuckin queef bubble. Guess not, mate.”

Sveta immediately fired back but Stella was quick to cut her off… and a battle to talk more aggressively over the other ensued. Since Fredrick was in the middle of it, he was a witness to both mares leaning around him and giving him free views of themselves while they verbally duked it out.

The clash of Northern accents proved difficult to follow, especially when they resorted to more crass and colloquial slang that he had little familiarity with. So, rather than attempt to get involved or try to follow where the two pink bikini-clad, long-maned thestral mares were going with their bout of sisterly engagement, he decided to lean back against the surprisingly smooth walls of the crater and crack open his beer.

He brought the lip of the bottle to his lips and took the first sip…

…and he grimaced.

Oh god… this does taste like concentrated piss.

Then he shrugged and took another sip. At this point, alcohol was alcohol… and it seemed like the girls would be at each other’s throats for a while.

“Paridise…” he whispered to himself.

Thankfully, the sisters’ banter whittled away into nothing, and more drinks began to flow as they got more comfortable within the embrace of the crater bath. The rain continued to fall at an easy pace, never once hiccupping its fall towards the lush earth below, and serving to cool the tops of the loungers bodies.

It was an interesting feeling that Fredrick was most a fan of—only one other time in his life was he able to experience any semblance of rainfall when he was at a pool or jacuzzi. It served to also mat their hair and manes over time, and the effect was that all of them looked like they were fresh out of the shower.

Stella had finished telling a rather dirty story that was downright hilarious, and Fredrick was able to get a good glimpse as to how the conflicting heat of the pool and the cool of the raindrops took their combined tolls.

Stella’s mane had matted to where her bangs fell to the bridge of her muzzle, while the rest of her mane straightened out and fell upon her shoulders and beyond. Her ears cutely poked through the top of that navy-blue forest of hers. Her golden eyes pierced through individual strands of her mane, like curtains to the window of that enigmatic soul… one that Fredrick always found himself getting lost in and never wanting to come out.

Combined with her omnipresent smirk that spoke wonders of her placid confidence-borderline-arrogance, and just being a happy mare in and of herself… Fredrick had half a mind to go swimming with her on a more regular basis.

Sveta was quick to fire back with another anecdote of her own, which allowed Fredrick to turn his attention to her fully. Her mane was longer than that of Stella’s as he had previously seen, but at the same time, the orientation in which it fell flat upon her head was the same, save for her sharper ears on full display. Her locks fell forward, sticking to her cheeks and a few of the longer ones even making it down to the tops of her breasts.

Following the line of that identically navy-blue mane was sure to get him in trouble if he continued tracing his eyes vertically.

What really struck him though, was just how well her choice in pink complemented both her coat color and her figure. It contrasted so perfectly that it demanded attention. This was a mare that was much more ‘girly’ than Stella had ever presented herself as—not that that was a problem in the slightest, as that was part of her charm.

Sveta, on the other hand since the moment they met, had always attempted to project herself as an aura of femininity. And with her accompanying figure that would subconsciously make stallions of all shapes, sizes, nationalities, and creeds swoon, she was indeed ‘femininity’ to boot.

The thing was that, every time Fredrick had a long-winded thought about topics like these, even if they weren’t lewd in nature, he had a terrible habit of staring. This was further magnified when his common sense and filters dropped lower and lower in direct proportion to the number of empty beer bottles that slowly but surely lined the outer rim of the bath.

And this was unfortunately brought to light when Fredrick was brought out of his pensive stupor… by Sveta’s index finger angling his face back up to meet hers.

“Well Fredrick?” she asked so innocently to snickering from Stella right behind him. “What did ya think of that, mate?”

Once his eyes met hers, she blinked twice and smiled widely, widening her eyes in kind so that Fred could see his reflection in them.

“Ummm…” he pondered, knowing full well that he had no idea what Sveta was talking about.

He glanced over his shoulder as, all the while, the bikini-clad Stella was making tiny waves in the water with how much she was snickering and giggling.

She strained out, wheezing:

“You got fuckin’ caught, mate… whew lad yer fuckin’ bad at this!”

Fredrick turned his attention back to an expectant Sveta.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” he attempted to play off without incident.

And naturally, Sveta wasn’t having any of it. She quickly dismissed him and cut off anything else Fred might have thought to say to salvage his position:

“Oh answer the fuckin' question ya limp-dick fuck.”

Stella swiped another beer from the cooler that rested just at the edge of the bath, cracking it open and only ceasing her conniving laughter when her mouth was occupied with the lip.

In this position, Fredrick could do one of three things: one, extrapolate information based upon the last thing he remembered before he blanked out and woke up staring at Sveta’s revered boobage...

Two, lie out of his ass and attempt to get away with it to avoid further jabs from Stella and the inevitable onslaught of smug teasing and embarrassment from her younger sister…

...or three, own up to it, explain that he blanked out, and attempt to convey that him staring at her tits was only a means to an end, and not even really purposeful.

Like his old job back home, he was presented with three options and an inherent recommendation… with the recommendation being option three.

“Wow, we’re really doing this, huh?” he questioned before following up with:

“Okay fine, I concede that your opinion is very valid regarding the initial topic at hand, but my thoughts remain the same, really…” he vaguely meandered, electing for option two of his mental list.

Stella lost it completely, throwing her head back in uproarious cackling, while Sveta’s expression never changed. She shook her head while staring Fredrick down… who cringed realizing that his plan of breaking out of the figurative encirclement had failed spectacularly.

“You. Lying. Fuck,” Sveta giggled out, and joined her sister in the laughter.

And there Fredrick was, stuck in the middle of Stella sounding like she was dying from how hard she was laughing with that trademark rhasp (as well as choking on her beer and letting it spill out of her mouth, which further added to the whole scene) as well as Sveta’s smooth cackling. The human did have to admit that the whole scenario was hilarious, but it still did not prevent any measure of color and heat from packing his cheeks to the point where he was almost sweating in the sauna-like conditions from embarrassment alone.

All he could do at the point as sigh, take a sip of his quarter-way finished drink, and lean up against the bath wall until the two thestrals had their fill.

“Y’all done?” he ventured to ask with a slight sarcastic edge to his words.

And as per his predictions, Sveta was in no position to let him turn the conversation on its heels.

“PFFT! You fuckin’ jokin’ mate? You got caught starin’ at me tits and ya tried tae weasel yer way out of it ya sneaky little tampon! Shit’s hilarious!!” she managed to get out before breaking out into another giggling fit.

Fredrick shrugged, and with his figurative tail between his legs, all there was to do was just admit to it and own it.

“Yeah yeah… laugh it up, fuckers,” he said, taking yet another swig of his drink and finishing off about half of it in one go. “Whatever Sveta, it’s not like you don’t catch dudes staring at those tits of yours all the time. Count me a dime in a dozen I guess.”

Stella shrugged, nodding in consideration.

“He’s gotcha there, Svet’. I’d be starin’ at those tits too if I wasn’t fuckin’ related to ya,” she admitted casually.

Sveta regarded her sister with a rather incredulous stare that bore through her eyes and out the back of her head.

“Well, you can fuck right off, Stella—you stare at me tits all the fuckin’ time. And poke ‘em. And grab ‘em. And fuckin’ squeeze ‘em. In public,” Sveta countered. “So aye, you do. Because yer a jealous cunt.”

And just like that, Fredrick decided to make himself as small as possible and listen intently to the impending conversation over the white noise of the sizzling bath. Despite their attempts to not live his embarrassment down, they were quickly making good on that as another sisterly deathmatch of banter was about to take place.

He could feel it in his bones.

There was a disturbance in the Force.

Stella rose to that:

“Oi! somepony’s gotta do it for ya tae attract that extra attention! Maybe you’ll come home with another colt! See? I’m actually lookin’ out fer ya, ya ungrateful little shite,” Stella protested.

“Oh right. Because that’s just how society works now… I’m pretty sure colts I’d fancy wouldn’t be found with just a shake of the tits—ever think of that? Probably not, considering your chest. Gotta live vicariously through me, eh?” Sveta countered.

Stella snorted.

“Pfft. You fuckin’ wish, love. I’m actually not single… with somepony who’s actually not a piece of shit… all done through me glorious personality,” she jabbed, flipping her wet hair exaggeratedly to the other side of her neck while regarding Fredrick with a flirtatious visage.

“…and a little wiggle of me bum,” she then added, draping her right arm around Fredrick and yanking him towards her, where his head was forcefully resting against her wet bosom.

In Fred’s opinion, Stella could keep him there all she liked… especially if Sveta wasn’t going to keep giving him shit over his rather innocent gaffe. In situations like this—and back in the bar during his first night here—Fredrick had to remind himself that, despite not always wanting that sort of coddling, Stella had always implicitly presented herself as his ‘protector’ of sorts.

It was nice but was still something to get used to considering his own societal norms from whence he came.

After Stella’s riposte, however, Sveta had little to come back with—especially so since Stella was absolutely right. It was her turn to be silent now, and quietly drink her beer while awkwardly examining the bottle itself.

And in true Stella fashion, she decided to follow that up:

“Mhmm… that’s what I fuckin’ thought, ya limp-clit tosser,” she said, chugging back her umpteenth beer for the night and haphazardly setting it by the numerous empty bottles. It tipped over and rolled away with a ‘glass’ noise elsewhere beyond everypony’s concern.

But also in true Stella fashion, she further decided to add the most unexpected:

“But that’s why we entered into a little bit of an… arrangement, aye?” she noted.

Both Fredrick’s and Sveta’s eyes went a tad wide at the sudden, brazen mention of their little ‘pact’ that they had separately entered into… yet the parties involved had not mentioned directly. The awkwardness suddenly overtook the humidity emanating from the rain bath, and no longer was the moisture on their face from condensation…

And really, all Fredrick had to say to that was:

“Oh yeah… I forgot about that.”

“BAHAHAHA!” she guffawed. “You. Lying. Fuck,” Stella parroted her sister’s words from a few minutes earlier.

She then threw an accusatory point towards her now-quiet sister.

“And you better not pussy outta this, ya tight-lipped slag. Fredrick here’s givin’ himself a fuckin’ aneurysm over this entire thing, thinkin’ he’s an asshole if he wanted tae agree, which…” she addressed him briefly. “…is totally not true, just as a reminder, love.”

She gave him a wet, exaggerated kiss on his lips with an accompanying ‘mwah!’

“So if you go on an’ make him second-guess himself again, I’ll rip yer fuckin’ tits off!”

Sveta rolled her eyes.

“Bitch, I was the one who asked you tae do this as a favor. Why the fuck would I bitch out of it? Zip the lip ya fuckin’ cunt… you’re as annoyin’ as a fuckin’ air raid siren sometimes. Fuck.”

Fredrick scooted back even farther against the bath wall so the two sisters could have easier access to give each other a good rollicking. Further, he had already said his peace on this subject and had no intention of adding to the awkwardness. He was no longer sure exactly if this was going to be a ‘good’ night by traditional definitions or not. Either way, it was damn hilarious, though he made sure to keep his lips duly shut.

“Then know what? Fuck this…” Stella exclaimed, snatching another beer and taking a few seconds to chug it completely before she got her next words out.

Her gulps were forced and quite audible when she literally poured the alcohol down her gullet. Once finished, she tossed the bottle away, wiped her lips, and continued:

“This tit fer tat bullshit over this shit is fuckin’ stupid. I want no more second guessing from Fred, and I don’t want you tip-hoofin’ around the subject fer fucks sake!” she jammed her finger into Sveta’s face.

Fredrick blinked.

Well then…

Sveta placed a disbelieving hand to her chest.

“Oi what?? I’m not fuckin’ slinkin’ around it!”

Stella’s accusatory glanced dropped to one of smugness… one of victory as her eyelids drooped mischievously. The corners of her lips curled upward as she revealed her coy smile, pearly-white teeth and fangs reflecting all the shimmering light from the rain bath itself.

“Then why don’t ya channel that earlier teasin’ attitude of yours into something more productive…” she challenged, earning more than a cocked eyebrow from Fredrick.

“Ummm… what?” Fredrick dared to ask, despite knowing full well that he was not going to get any answers anytime soon.

Again, Sveta was rather incredulous, having cocked her head and her own eyebrow. She draped an arm over the side of the rain bath.

“Really? Right here? In the fuckin’ baths?”

Stella shook her head and shrugged.

“Why the fuck not, mate?”

Sveta spat out her response.

“We’re in public you fuckin’ mental-case.”

Stella stood up from the seat with an audible splashing sound. And as the water flowed off her body in heavy rivulets through the steam (giving her a rather exotic look with her tight, pink bikini), she took a quick look around to see how ‘in public’ they truly were.

“Oh, would ya look at that. It’s a fuckin’ worknight in the rain baths and imagine my shock. There’s fuckin’ nopony here!”

Fredrick, once again, attempted to weigh in when he stood up—another futile endeavor:

“Uhh… do I get a say in thi—”

“Shaddap,” Stella barked.

“Okay…” Fred immediately acquiesced, and sat back down.

Sveta took the opportunity to speak up.

“Oh aye? Then what’s yer fuckin' suggestion then?” she sarcastically implored.

Stella gestured with both arms, stiffly, to Sveta:

“You…”

And then she gestured to a modestly confused yet infinitely curious Fredrick.

“Sit on his lap, and push yer tits in his face or something. Just get it over-with, an’ stop dancin’ around the subject like yer tryin’ tae shower in cold fuckin’ water.”

Fredrick piped up again.

“Okay you know what? I think we're getting a bit carried aw—”

“Shaddap.”

“Fuckin’… fine,” Fred replied, tossing his hands up.

Sveta—outwardly unfazed—merely shook her head, arm still draped comfortably over the brim of the bath. The way the light reflected off the water and the rivulets of the condensation on her face did give her a much more alluring appeal.

“Yer an idiot.”

Stella wasn’t convinced.

“Nah mate… I think yer the idiot fer not takin’ advantage of a fuckin’ privilege I gave ya!” she said. “Fredrick signs off on it. I sign off on it. You sign off on it—if you want it, take it! You can’t expect him tae do this himself,” she finished, gesturing to Fredrick.

He remained silent as his thoughts reeled. This was definitely not how this night was supposed to go in his mind, nor did he have anything else to say to that.

Sveta went silent… and despite her utter, completely visible disdain for her older sister for daring to make things awkward on a whim, her features had soured, though in a more bemused function. She chewed at the edge of her lip in pensiveness, and her troubled eyes flicked back and forth between Stella and Fredrick.

Fred could see that her immediate thoughts were hanging at the edge of her lips… dangling off the now-snaggletooth that mirrored the passive one of Stella’s.

For what seemed like a small eternity with both Stella and the human waiting on her next words and/or actions, Sveta’s eyes continued to dart back and forth as her suppressed, internal musings were brought to a head.

Her next words were much meeker, having lost the entirety of their confrontational edge at Stella’s goading:

“…are you sure? Both of you?” she gestured with her muzzle to both her sister and her beau.

Fredrick knew exactly what she meant, and finally was he allowed to speak on the matter at the less-than-ideal circumstances of the issue’s upbringing. However, in an ironic turn, Fredrick really had nothing to vocalize… nothing, at least, that couldn’t be conveyed with a simple nod…

…and an encouraging smile.

Despite the implications that came with their little arrangement, Fredrick would be hard-pressed to admit that he didn’t find the impending scenario incredibly hot.

Stella, in Fred’s point of view, was less forgiving and accommodating on that front, and only threw her hands to the side and nodded so exaggeratedly, that she might as well have said ‘well no fuckin’ shit!’

“No fuckin’ shit!”

He was spot on.

The trio fell silent again, and both Stella and Fredrick—who held various degrees of impatience and anxiousness respectively—awaited Sveta’s next actions.

The steam that rose up from the sizzling water amplified as the outside temperature continued to drop with the passing of the evening, which kept Sveta behind an alluring veil of moisture. Her sapphire eyes had brightened naturally with the reflecting light and the complete darkness, and were all the seemed to permeate the natural curtain…

…and her eyes bored directly into Fredrick’s.

And during that moment that had no right to be as tense as it was, time appeared to slow to a crawl… as if Fred was passing through molasses. Stella’s presence barely registered on Fredrick’s radar when he and Sveta had locked eyes. They held their joint stare for an indeterminable amount of time, with little change in either of their current demeanors or readable body language. He could also hear his relaxed, yet pulsating heart beating in his ears like a drum.

But all returned to normal when Sveta spoke out yet again, in that same meek voice that was most unbecoming of the Sabre name:

“…Oi, Fred?”

He gulped, and his aforementioned heart rate picked up noticeably, where he had a minor hiccup in his breathing pattern.

“Y-Yeah?”

Sveta softly commanded:

“Do’s a favor mate… close yer eyes fer me.”

Fredrick internally remarked how he felt much warmer all of a sudden… yet the hordes of goosebumps that suddenly lined his non-submerged skin contradicted this.

He took a shaky breath and exhaled all the same.

“Okay…”

“And… keep ‘em closed ‘til I say, aye?”

He nodded.

“You got it.”

He did as he was told after another breath, shuttering what he considered his most important sense and deciding to focus entirely on his hearing.

At first, he heard nothing out of the ordinary, aside from Stella silently retaking her seat next to him. He could feel her lay her touch upon his left shoulder, then run two reassuring fingers down the length of his unsubmerged arm before he was ‘blind’ yet again. Silence reigned beyond the common white noise of the bubbling water and the occasional, nocturnal ambiance.

And then, he heard the tiniest rippling of the water from his right… and his senses told him that something as large as him was approaching from the same direction.

That ‘unknown’ entity was now right in front of him… and his ears were stimulated by the unabashed, attempted-silent giggling by Stella on his left. This was quickly followed by a low, soft, hissing ‘fuck off’ from Sveta.

He felt a soft, but wet hand cup his right shoulder in a firm, secure grasp… then his left. Despite the minimal touch, said touch was extremely pronounced, as if every single nerve ending on his arms was activated at once and could tell the precise coordinates of every single cell on those fingers. The wetness cooled his already skyrocketing temperature at the lewd implications, and he remained as still as a grave in anticipation of what was to come. He could no longer feel the drizzle pattering his face from above.

The rippling of water suddenly became much more pronounced—borderline splashing—as the ‘figure’ in front of him manipulated their orientation. And at that moment, Fredrick felt overshadowed… further so when he felt two firm presses against the outside of his thighs. Larger droplets of water fell upon his chest and face as well.

His breathing was labored and in conjunction with the natural humidity that the rain bath produced, it felt that he was trying to inhale moisture.

And then finally, a single soft, imperious command echoed within his ears:

“Open.”

Fredrick angled his head upward and threw open his eyelids. And what he saw evacuated his lungs entirely.

Sveta had mounted him… straddled his lap with her knees on either side of him which—with the smooth stone that the bath was comprised of—did not exactly look ‘comfortable.’ She supported herself with both of her hands squarely attached at his bare shoulders.

And his first sight was the sapphire-eyed beauty looming down on him. And in those majestic pools of hers, she harbored an excited—aroused—feeling coupled with great anxiousness all the same. She was clearly afraid… afraid of how the human who was happily taken with Stella would react to her sudden, brazen advances in such a situation.

His first instinct was to comfort her with a simple gesture. He placed his hands atop her smooth, firm thighs, which were submerged under the water. He could also see that her breathing rivaled his: it was heavy and labored, and it quickly synchronized with his rhythm.

As much as Fredrick could stare at her face the entire time, as she commanded such attention with that gorgeous, narrow, defined visage of hers, his instinct and biology as a man won the battle… and he drew his gaze downward. Directly in his face, barely two inches from him were Sveta’s bikini-covered breasts, which heaved with each labored, increasingly lustful and borderline lecherous breath she took. They were soaked in water, matting what little coat she had covering the area straight to her skin. Any excess moisture beyond the saturation was duly funneled into her expansive, mouth-watering cleavage. Any drops of moisture beyond critical mass disappeared into her natural chasm, or off the tips of her bikini cups.

He could quite literally push his face forward and envelop himself in some of history’s greatest pillows of which would make memory foam froth with jealousy.

Even further below some of the greatest objects of Fredrick’s affection was her slim tummy, that looked just as appetizing from this point of view as it did before. Her navel was perfectly framed by the stomach muscles beneath, and her upper abdomen heaved in conjunction with her chest by virtue of her breathing. It was as saturated as her chest, especially as it disappeared beyond the veil of the waterline.

Through the constantly moving and bubbling water, and through the steam that it incessantly produced, Fredrick could make out the strikingly pink bottoms of her crotch. And as if to hammer home the point when his eyes gazed below, Sveta dropped her backside and sat completely atop of his thighs, barely pressing their crotches together.

Fredrick was overcome with sudden arousal… and by Stella’s insistence (read as ‘impatience’) and Sveta’s surprising foray with her intentions, the writing on the wall could not have been clearer.

The human drew his glassy gaze back up Sveta’s body to meet her eyes once more, and where once there was even a modicum of insecurity, it was replaced with that of ever monotonically increasing lust. Her eyelids had lowered, her wet mane had fell and broken upon her face in artificial rivulets, and her hold on Fredrick’s shoulders had become much firmer.

Fred spared one last, silent gaze toward Stella, who was watching the scene with rapt interest. Her right tricep was pressed against the upper wall of the bath, and she had laid her head in the palm of her hand, supporting it as she looked on at him with a bitten lip.

“Ayy mate, you cunts better gimme a show fer this. Don’t go cockteasin’ now…” she warned.

Fredrick turned back towards Sveta, and her eyes remained as lust-driven and foggy as before, though perhaps it was a trick of the light and the steam. They were glassed over by their mere, wholly inappropriate touching, but they retained one signature spark: she was challenging him.

And in adding a rather prominent, unmistakable lip-bite to the mix, she was daring him to make the next move… to cast the next die in their little game to set off the round in full…

…or else she would.

Ever with his cautious personality, Fredrick glanced again, somewhat more assured back at Stella… who spoke clearly by gesturing open-palmed with her left hand.

“Well? Go on then! Don’t make me slap the shit outta you too, fuckwit!”

And with that, Fredrick immediately slid his hands up to Sveta’s back, splashing the water all the way up her entire backside in the process and eking out a surprised ‘eep!’ from her. He palmed both sides of the clasp of her top and met her half-way when he pulled her in, burying his face completely into her cleavage.

Fredrick sighed. Sveta threw her head back and moaned involuntarily in surprise. Stella threw her head back and cackled at an instant.

“HAHAHAHAHA! I CALLED THAT SHIT!”

Sveta righted her head and glared daggers at Stella.

“Oi, could ya fuckin’ no—OOOH~!” her protests were quelled right away when Fredrick began gnawing at the insides of her bosom, and he did well to drag his tongue up her sternum to lick off all the natural moisture that had accumulated…

…and replace it with his own, of course.

Stella returned to her previous, comfortable position supporting her head with her right hand.

“You were sayin’?”

Sveta, wisely, decided not to dignify those words with a response, especially since she was dealing with something much more pleasurable at the moment.

Fredrick felt Sveta tighten her grip on his shoulders, and that action resulted in her squeezing her bosom tighter around his head with her arms. He closed his eyes and just decided to feel. He lapped up towards his right, drawing his tongue in an arc over her left breast from her cleavage to the top. The wet mark left by him was wholly distinguishable from what was once water.

He was further encouraged when Sveta groaned out breathily, rhythmically with each of his carefully calculated licks. She arched her back forward and attempted to give him as much access to her tits as he pleased, much to his readily apparent lust. He repeated the same movement over her other breast, feeling the texture of her thin coat and skin over his tongue and noting her taste.

She tasted like… hot mineral water for obvious reasons. But to him, this was the greatest tasting mineral water in existence so far.

Fredrick ran his hands up and down in an effort to consolidate his touch over Sveta. He dug his fingernails into her back and drew sharp, firm lines on his way down, only giving her reprieve when he slid his palms back up. He paid extra attention to where her wings attached to her lats, pressing his thumbs into them end eliciting a high-pitched, natural moan out of the younger mare.

At the same time, he latched his mouth to a large portion of her left ‘girl’ and sucked, attempting to get as much as he could into his mouth.

Her response was immediate.

“Ahhh~… fuck…”

At that point, Sveta’s hold shifted entirely. She gripped Fredrick’s back, digging her own nails into him with equal force in any attempt to get him more buried into her… but more than that, her ulterior motive was clear when her right hand took a firm hold of Fredrick’s hair on the back of his head.

And that’s when the human knew he was in the clear with what he was doing. And the end goal was as clear as the water they were in when he felt a distinct tug downward towards the center of her tit.

Being a man of action and seeing no point to ask for permission for the umpteenth time, he decided to ‘treat’ Sveta as she so desired by seizing the initiative. He slid both of his hands up her tummy and withdrew his face from her cleavage, now sufficiently saturated in his saliva as opposed to the water—a much better alternative in both of their minds.

He flicked his eyes upward and found Sveta’s pupils dilated and fogged over. Her mouth had opened as her breathing became much faster and more strained. She did not have to say much to imply that she was a mite peeved that he stopped his advance.

It was he, this time, who donned a more challenging smirk. Lowering his own eyelids and matching with a lip-bite of his own, Fredrick kept complete watch on her as his hands slid up completely, cupping the sides of her breasts by the bikini top. Such an action pressed them together, further bloating her already impressive cleavage and providing him with even more surface area to lick to his heart’s content.

And lick he did.

Only then did he draw his gaze away from hers to trace the same line up and down her even more expansive valley… and from there, he diverged and drew his tongue towards her bikini cups on either side. Like a little child learning to trace lines for the first time in school, he traced his saliva-laden tongue on the top edges of her bikini cups, alternating between both of her tits and pressing his tongue much more forcefully into her each time.

Sveta felt much different in his hands than Stella. Where the latter had perfect handfuls of bosom that he could reign over, Sveta was a whole ‘nother animal. Her breasts overflowed in his palms and somewhat through his digits… and lord they were surprisingly heavy! This mare had a back made of steel!

As her breath became less controlled and shakier with each passing moment, Fredrick began to feel her nipples hardening beneath the shroud of her bikini cups when his hands groped them in full. Squeezing them further made them that much more prominent to the naked eye beneath the drenched layer of pool clothing that demanded to be ripped off at once.

Again, Fredrick obliged, using his thumbs to pull the bikini cups to the sides of her breasts like curtains to a work of art. In that process, his digits rolled over her small, pert nipples that stood at attention at the center of her perfect breasts—Sveta was clearly, thoroughly enjoying herself by their sheer hardness.

The human pulled his head back just a tad to gaze upon Sveta’s nude chest in all of its glory… her nipples were a darker shade of teal that perfectly contrasted with the rest of her well-maintained and wet coat. They looked like little gumdrops that were ripe for the sucking, and his mouth salivated all the same… but before he had any thoughts of that, he was more than content to just take in the view and tattoo it on his brain so it would remain with him for the rest of this life. Such an opportunity was once in a lifetime, and Fred wanted to ensure that he took this with him to the grave.

“Fuck…” he exclaimed as he stared. The result was so much better than anything his imagination could have conjured up.

Sveta, to her credit, endured the awkwardness as much as she could before shifting her gaze from side to side to ensure nopony else but Stella was getting a show. Her face was completely and utterly blushed—nigh hot to the touch with how much blood had rushed to her chest and head. Her mouth remained slack, and it was difficult for her to breath anything but fast.

And oh god was she wet… underneath the shallow depths of the bath she knew for a fact her bottoms were quite ruined. That itch in her loins that she so desperately needed scratched had returned in full force. Her nipples were so hard they almost hurt, and demanded Fred’s undivided attention whenever he would provide it… the earlier the better.

But more than that, as Fredrick stared at her at her mostly vulnerable, her insecurities ran high… at first. And as she saw his gaze turn from awe to downright sexual hunger did her confidence soar. She would never admit this to him in words, but Fredrick was making her feel so beautiful—sexy, actually.

She was wanted. Desired.

Finally, Fredrick had enough of gazing and honed in on Sveta’s left breast, running his tongue teasingly around her also-small areola… but then taking her nub into his mouth completely.

Sveta’s sigh of relief could be heard all around, and her head slowly fell rearward as she gripped his hair and pulled him in even tighter. Her back arched inward and her mouth remained dutifully opened as her shaky breathing and soft moans became a small choir to Fredrick’s ears.

“Ahhh~… right there… keep doin' that...”

He sucked and contorted his tongue around her sensitive nipple, using his teeth to help latch onto as much of her breast as possible… and Sveta apparently loved that if her tightening her grip on the back of his head and further pressing her orb into his face were anything to go by.

Fredrick’s lips separated from her swollen nipple with a wet-sounding smack, but continued to toy it with his tongue, lapping at it and circling it with the tip. Their wet noises were mostly obscured by the natural ambiance of the bath itself, but were no less hot every time his saliva-laden tongue teased her nipple.

An adorable squeak snuck by Sveta’s lips, and she could practically feel the smug smile that Fredrick suddenly donned as he continued onward.

On that note, Fredrick switched to her other breast and wasted no time in hefting it up to take her other nipple into his mouth. Lavishing her with the same treatment here, he made sure to continue massaging and caressing her now-neglected left tit, squeezing her swollen nipple between his knuckles. And no matter how hard he tried, he physically could not get most of her breast into his grip. It was an actual impossibility… and that left him all the more constrained and hard in his swimsuit.

Sveta clenched her eyes and teeth shut as she hissed out pleasantly. Her grip could not have gotten any more ironclad on Fredrick’s head without pulling his head out or smothering him in her cleavage, but she damn-sure would try her hardest as her pleasure exponentiated by the second. Her lower body was beginning to be filled with a lightness that she always enjoyed experiencing, either with herself or with a stallion. Perhaps her sensitivity all over was working in her favor this time?

Further, this was not Fred's first rodeo. She could tell right away.

Stella had trained him well…

What Sveta could also feel was how diamond-hard he was in his swimsuit, as their crotches were had pressed together some time ago… and realizing that she was having this effect on him sent her mind swimming with endless possibilities, as well as another upsurge in her confidence about the whole… unorthodox scenario.

Almost by instinct, Sveta began lightly rocking her hips into Fredrick’s… an act not lost on the preoccupied human…

…but before things could continue beyond that, a cacophony of different voices all speaking at once could suddenly be heard.

Both sets of eyes shot open, and Fredrick extricated himself from Sveta’s breast and quickly attempted to right her bikini cups over her chest with some modest success. The latter, adjusted and climbed off the human to regain her initial position to Fred’s right.

Their suspicions had been confirmed, as gazing towards the entrance to the baths themselves, there was a large group of ponies that had wandered in and were talking up a storm. It looked like a small party, and thankfully, there was no indication that they had seen anything… nefarious happening in their own rain bath.

And there sat Stella with her own smug smile, though her blushed face and left hand conspicuously below the surface and somewhere by her inner thighs belied this. She gazed upon a completely flushed Sveta—who’s nipples could be seen clear as day poking through her bikini cups—and Fredrick, who’s normally paler complexion had been overtaken by his own colored cheeks.

“Fuck me, mates… you two looked like you were actually gonna fuck in the bath right in front of me…”

Sveta glared at her.

“Shut the fuck up… just… shut up…” she managed to strain out, followed up by a somewhat satisfied groan and sigh as she regained control of her breathing and unwilling descent.

Fredrick opted to be the voice of reason whilst staring dopily towards the other end of their natural jacuzzi.

“If we wanna continue that, we should probably take it elsewhere.”

Stella brightened up whilst laughing at the very implication… as well as the situation as a whole.

“Aye. I agree!”

She stood up out of the water with a splash, earning the attention of the other two with simultaneously cocked eyebrows.

“Let’s go!”

Fredrick blinked once… then twice… and then turned to Sveta, who harbored the same curiosity that he did. It appeared that Stella was more excited about this than they were.

That, or she was just unpredictable and insane, which was par for the course.

Regardless, even when the implication was there, Sveta had a hard time keeping eye contact through her matted bangs, though her smile was plenty visible and did well to wipe away any initial trepidations.

For extra comfort, Fredrick placed a hand on her bare thigh, and gestured towards a ‘patiently’ waiting Stella with his own smirk.

“Shall we?” he exaggerated through fading caution.

Sveta instead took his hand off her thigh and wrapped hers in his. The two then stood up together.

“Aye. We shall.”

19. [Clop] Swapping Sabres

Author's Note

This took life force out of me... no clop necessary for a little while now lmao.

Enjoy!

19. [Clop] Swapping Sabres

[Sveta’s Room | Later That Night…]

Fredrick recalled earlier in the week when he was dragged into Stella’s personal abode.

Despite his marefriend’s spunky and over-the-top personality that had manifested itself into his daily life (including his heart), he remarked how said personality of contradictions was ever shining through with the sheer spartanness and… efficiency of her room layout. There was minimal flair beyond what was necessary, and he might have even guessed that they somehow teleported back to her barracks.

Clearly, his experiences with her in public and private did not translate over to room design.

Sveta’s room, by contrast, was significantly more aligned with her personality… one that mirrored Stella’s in so many ways yet diverged sharply in the most obvious of crannies. From the moment that he was dragged into her lair and the light dimmer was set to the lowest setting, his eyes noticed the abundance of various rock band posters that were plastered on her walls in some odd, chaotic tessellation—the color of her wall was not even distinguishable.

There was some other, usual furniture one would expect to have in a room, with some various things and trinkets adorning their tops, though the vagueness in his recollection could be easily forgiven, given the circumstances…

Priority was given to the lone mare who had dragged him in here in the first place… one who was not exactly tender when she then proceeded to pull him onto her single-color-comforter bed and pin him down underneath her.

More than that, Fredrick had to prevent himself from giggling at the thought of how Sveta was not particularly subtle in her approach to the intimacy that had been so expertly orchestrated by her older sister. This point was further reinforced when, right after he was forced to let Sveta’s velvety sheets and pillow cushion his torso’s fall, the younger, bikini-clad mare quickly mounted his waist and—with a face that bore the very notion of sexual desire—staked her (temporary) claim to him.

And so, there he was.

Sveta placed both her hands onto his pecs, leaning her weight into her forearms lest Fredrick get any funny ideas of leaving any time soon. The human was not complaining in the slightest, and his attention was easily snatched away from that gorgeous face down to her impressive bosom that was compressed invitingly between her lean biceps.

An extra incentive, if he saw any.

Fredrick’s eyes roamed over her looming form above him, and he mentally undressed her from her swimsuit that left little to the imagination to begin with. Unlike when they met, the human figured he had little to feel awkward about in exploring each and every curve of Sveta’s body with his eyes:

Her mane still held some of the dampness courtesy of their little escapade in the rain bath, and it matted enticingly to her neck while partially veiling her left eye. Those eyes of hers were just as captivating as Stella’s, and those reflective, deep pools of sapphire harbored some of the intensest fires of lust he had ever seen… a beautiful window to the soul of an equally gorgeous mare that pleaded, yet demanded to be sated after so long.

Sveta’s narrower face gave her overall visage a much more elegant look to it, and her higher cheekbones framed that beautiful, sultry, toothy smile in such a way that Fredrick almost felt compelled to introduce her lips to his. Of course, that elegance never played out in their current predicament, though once his eyes drew over her neck, he second guessed whether he wanted to taste her right away, or attempt to drive the busty, teal-coated mare wild with even more longing by sinking his teeth into her neck.

But of course, the greatest objects of his affections were those large, perfectly teardrop-shaped, perky tits of hers that appeared barely supported by her swimsuit top in a battle against gravity that was futile at best. The pink, supporting string between both of the triangular cups strained to keep the integrity of her bikini intact, but also had the added effect of drawing his eyes straight into her tight cleavage.

Fredrick figured his head would be buried there in due time…

...and perhaps something else, in kind.

That top gave way to that slim, lightly toned tummy of hers that flexed in and out with each labored, shaky, hot breath that she took above him.

And after taking in another natural wonder that this world had to offer him, Fredrick let out an enormous breath that he had no idea he was holding. His heart beat wildly in his chest, drumming against the inside of his sternum as it fought to pump more blood southward to meet the demand his dick was suddenly imposing. His eyes were wide with his own projecting desires, and he fought to keep a steady rhythm of oxygen flowing to his already beyond-excited, adrenaline-happy lungs.

She literally took his breath away.

The reality of the situation dawned on him completely in this compromising, unsubtle position. But thankfully, Fredrick did not have to decide on which move to make, as apparently that was already decided for him via a husky whisper from his dominator:

“Yer fuckin’ mine…” she uttered.

Fred’s breath hitched in his throat, and he felt the burning need to gulp at how hot that sounded. A single throb down south was tacit agreement.

And with little flair, Sveta brought her torso down to lay atop Fredrick completely. Torsos flush, and with her chest flattening against his pecs, the younger Sabre first pressed her muzzle to Fredrick’s nose. Eye contact held a firm, yet tenuous grasp as Fredrick’s gaze was called elsewhere…

But that’s when Sveta forded the final river and pressed her wet, hungry lips against Fredrick’s in the first tentative foray into their night together.

From that first connection, both of their hearts burst into flames, and what started off as a gentle, tender peck to test the waters ended up with them cannonballing into the deepest trench that Equestria harbored under her oceans.

“Uuhnn…” Fredrick groaned, and his eyes shuttered by reflex as he let himself be enveloped by Sveta’s ethereal hand.

Sveta had a much better, more intelligent reply to that as their lips opened against one another for the first time:

“Mmmph!” she moaned in kind.

Sveta did her best to wrap her arms around Fredrick’s neck and sink herself further into him… to press herself even more than they were already, into a singularity of sex. This proved next to impossible given their orientation, so she had to settle for merely framing his face, gingerly caressing his cheeks with her thumbs as their mouths began an increasingly hungry assault on one another.

The sounds of making out began to rise over the silence in the air as their comfort in their kiss-turned-makeout became stronger and stronger. Smacks of wet lips crashing together and reluctantly pulling apart provided perfect sense situational awareness for both parties involved through shuttered eyes. Fredrick’s hands found their ideal position on Sveta’s toned waist, and he squeezed her obliques for good measure, which wrought a shaky whimper from the depths of her throat.

Electricity then touched every nerve ending of her erogenous zones when Fredrick began tracing lines up and down her back. Their mouths continued to produce the erotic sounds of ‘battle,’ as it were, and gentle groans and little ‘mhmmm’s became louder and louder as their inhibitions sank like a stone in the deep.

Sveta then decided to call for reinforcements, pressing her tongue forward and drawing a single, wet line on the periphery of Fredrick’s upper lip. Fredrick smiled against her lips, which was contagious to the effect of Sveta smiling and softly giggling in return… which in turn caused Fredrick to chuckle.

In the end, t’was a battle that Fredrick would gladly meet on the field in full force, and he deployed his tongue forward to instantly smash against Sveta’s.

Their tongues danced tentatively around each other, and much like their bodies earlier, quickly found their places writhing against one another with docile demeanor. They fused their lips together as best they could with anatomical constraints, and lathered each other’s tongues with their own essences, swapping spit without any care to propriety.

Sveta’s calves and hooves swung idly in the air all the while in a testament to the thestral’s contentedness.

To Fredrick, Sveta tasted… different than Stella. Though their tongue structures were, for all intents and purposes, identical, Sveta had a much more elegant taste than his partner in crime, which held its own innate charm. There was also the distinct lack of any alcoholic aftertaste that he had ultimately grown to adore over the weeks.

At this point Fredrick took stock of his position as he held the svelte mare above him in his arms.

He lay pressed into her velvety comforter with all of Sveta’s weight bearing down on him, though he felt… oddly comfortable. She was not as heavy as her older sister by virtue of sheer muscle mass, and in fact, he wagered he could scoop her up by her waist with the aid of a single arm. Such a ‘reasonable’ weight atop of him, in conjunction with their oral expeditionary forces hard at work acquainting themselves with the cartography of their inner mouths, gradually muddled his excited mind.

In fact, he expected to be sweating bullets whilst churning something fierce in the depths of his stomach with every breath he took… and every kiss… every lick he willingly accepted and returned to Stella’s younger sister.

But… nope.

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that her tits were compressed against his chest, and every time he glanced downward, he was met with that same mouth watering cleavage that he had his face buried in not even an hour ago. Plus, her cute, tight butt under those bright pink bikini bottoms served as exquisite handholds for their make out session once he had his fill of her slim waist.

Fredrick’s eyes remained closed, as did Sveta’s when he’d occasionally peek through his lashes. Her gorgeous face was all that took up his vision in the dimmed room, and their mouths continued their gentle, casual caresses of getting familiar with one another. There existed no pressure in their minds nor their hearts. Their very logical, very collected minds did the work of injecting their lust for one another in the most effective, efficient manners.

Honestly, by now, Fredrick felt this was a rather ‘corporate’ approach to vanilla sex.

It was weird enough anyway, so in his mind, he wasn’t doing any good putting much thought into it anymore. Especially since there wasn’t so much of caring or love placed into this so much as scratching an itch.

Bringing himself back to reality, Fredrick helped himself to two more handfuls of Sveta’s ass, and he sunk all ten of his fingertips into her fleshy, yet still-muscular rear end. While eliciting an ever-arousing, breathy groan that fell upon his tongue, he felt again exactly how soft her coat and by extension, her butt was. Their mouths never once wavered, and he continued to massage her ass as their kiss continued in earnest. He owed his more exploratory nature partially to satisfy is curiosity of differences between two sisters (this sounded as weird as he thought it was), and the other part to make sure he kept her moaning.

First impressions of any kind were important, after all. Even if they were ‘impressions’ of his fingers on her ass-cheeks.

Sveta finally separated from Fredrick’s mouth with a gentle smack and withdrew her tongue back into her own maw, but only to get more breath into her hot, aching lungs—Fredrick’s hands were still expertly working her over.

In her mind, Stella had taught him well… or Fredrick was much more experienced in this than he had let on, or than she had assumed.

Fred’s tongue teased at her lower lip, and then assertively brought her face back down to his by way of her mane on the back of her head before she could replenish her air supply. She internally made a note that she owed him a groveling apology for ever assuming her preconceived notions.

She loosed yet another groan once their mouths were joined again.

Fredrick was content to explore Sveta’s mouth a little more and feel her hot exhalations break upon his face, but unfortunately, the mare really did need a break to catch her breath. In perhaps a bit of orchestrated payback, it was he who took her breath away this time. There was little he could do to suppress the smug smile on his face.

Their faces parted completely, and their eyes opened to gaze upon one another in a newer light. They had completed the first step in an act that most on Fredrick’s world would consider beyond reproach.

Fredrick’s open labored, open-mouthed, glowing smirk couldn’t be hidden, and Sveta did well to return the sweet gesture with a fluttering of her eyelashes. A soft moisture sheen had developed on her forehead, and it did well to mat a couple of bangs to her. Fredrick’s sheen must have reflected off of her, because Sveta was significantly brighter—the room had not dimmed further.

And as she continued to breath heavily, she cupped Fredrick’s cheek endearingly.

Her next words were a bit more dopey-sounding than she would have liked:

“Heh… holy fuck, mate…”

Fredrick was easily inclined to agree:

“Speak for yourself, missy,” he replied, adding an extra squeeze of her butt for good measure…

…which, in turn, earned him a pleasure-filled groan and a shudder from above.

Sveta snagged her lower lip with one of her fangs at Fredrick’s gesture, which only spurred him on further to grip as much of her ass as he could… as well as switch up his technique with a single hand. He traced the cleave of her backside all the way down with his index finger, which, despite the tightness afforded by her swinging legs, would lead him right to her…

“…and where do ya think yer goin’? Huh?” she teased with narrowed, sultry eyes as Fred’s fingers were on the final curve of their journey south.

The responded like it was the most obvious thing:

“Well, clearly on an adventure full of magic and wonder…”

However, somepony else had something to say about that after Sveta couldn’t hold the pained giggle:

“Oh fer fuck's sake, lads. Get the fuck on with it, ya useless cunts! If I wanted tae puke I’d down a quart o’ Zap an’ call it a fuckin’ mornin’,” Stella bellowed obnoxiously through the silence, once again making herself known sitting in the armchair just diagonally across from Sveta's bed.

Both Fredrick and Sveta gazed at her from their positions to find her burning, golden eyes leering at them from the mild veil of darkness.

Though, Fredrick was quick to point out the even greater oddity of the situation:

“Is the top hat and fake cigar really fucking necessary?” he questioned.

Sure enough, through the aforementioned veil, Stella had not taken off her own pink bikini... though she had the very distinct addition of a high-quality, wool top hat and a fake cigar that she pretended to puff from the side of her muzzle.

She removed the cigar from her mouth with the delicateness a mob boss would show, and pretended to blow out nonexistent smoke.

“Aye, it’s very fuckin’ necessary! I need the proper materials fer fuckin’ science, lads!”

Fredrick deadpanned.

“You’re literally just watching us… which is already weird on its own.”

Stella beamed, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs.

“Aye, I know! It’s like watchin’ two animals in their natural habitat… studyin’ the interactions an’ shite. Well, off ya go, then! Pretend I’m not ‘ere!” she then ushered them forward with a few flicks of her wrist as if she was in some way more dignified than the two of them.

Sveta, this time, was the one to interject:

“You literally interrupted us. So you can fuck right off, mate.”

Stella immediately rose to that with what she observed as the obvious:

“Oi, it’s not me fault that you two aren’t gettin’ tae the fuckin’ hypothesis testin’! Fuckin’ hurry yer arses up before I hit fuckin’ menopause, ya slack cunts!”

Sveta rolled off of Fredrick so she could get a better look across at her sister, though more so to scold her more easily.

“Well we fuckin’ would speed shit up, but somepony just had tae inject their fuckin’ useless opinion and fuck it all up, ya fuckin’ wide-faced weapon.”

Fredrick was more than happy to just be quiet while this played out for the n-th time this trip… though hopefully not for very long considering his rigid boner would only maintain full integrity for a certain amount of time before external stimulation was needed once more. But in the end, perhaps it was a silver lining—a little break for his nature-anointed, limited male endurance was always welcome.

Stella, wordlessly, sat up straight and removed the ridiculous top hat from her head. She then turned it over on her lap and began waving the cigar around within it as a magician would:

“This science hat is also magical… I can see the fuckin’ future if I look into it. And y’know what I’m seein?” she meandered sarcastically, whilst looking into the hat:

“I see a certain younger sister gettin’ stabbed forty-seven times in her fuckin’ oversized melons if she keeps flappin’ her trap,” she so prophetically revealed.

Sveta rolled her eyes, inhaled, then sighed out as she pressed her fingers to her temples, rubbing them firmly before turning back to a patiently waiting Fredrick.

“I honestly don’t know how you fuckin’ stand it, mate. I lived with her fer me entire life and I can’t imagine bein’ attached to ‘er as you are… I’d probably hang m’self.”

A shirtless Fredrick pitching a painful hardon through his swim-trunks glanced at a devious Stella, then at Sveta to his side with an equally cheeky smirk that would make his marefriend proud.

“I assure you, she’s much better behaved in Canterlot when Luna’s two shakes of her tail from sodomizing her with her friggin’ throne,” he gestured with his face towards Stella, who was suddenly not so amused.

She threw her arms up in the air after Sveta launched into a giggle fit.

“It was one fuckin’ time!” she complained. “One fuckin’ time our squad tries tae target practice shootin’ apples off each others heads with live ammo…”

Fredrick’s demeanor went incredulous, and he cocked an eyebrow.

“Luna loves you to the point where she didn’t throw you off the side of the goddamn mountain for that. You just got a very mild slap on the wrist…” he countered.

“With the worst fuckin’ probation period ever!” Stella complained.

“Luna ranted to me about your retardation for two hours!” Fred exclaimed.

Sveta’s mouth was open and heaving in silent laughter, but she managed to choke, and launched herself into a hacking and retching fit.

“H-Holy fuck I don’t remember hearin’ about this…” and she promptly directed the latter portion of her words to her older sister:

“... you fuckin’ mental case! How’re you not dead? Legitimate question.”

Before Stella could even come back to that, Fredrick weighed in with something else:

“I'm at least ninety percent sure that your very existence, babe, is just pure adrenaline and booze. You're like an alcoholic Steve Irwin.”

Stella threw her arms up.

“Oh fer fuck’s sake, is it now just ‘gangbang Stella day?’ Fuckin’ five in the pink over here, and five in the stink over here,” she gestured, annoyed, to Fred and Sveta individually.

Sveta decided to disengage and not have any of it. She shook her head and moved towards Fred.

“Right, okay fuck this, I'm goin’ back tae makin’ out with yer coltfriend… which is definitely not something I could hear m’self sayin’ a week ago,” she considered her latter rambling out loud.

T’was a simple matter of swinging her leg back over Fredrick’s waist and straddling him the way she had been for the last ten minutes or so. Her hands came to rest back on his pecs, and to Fred’s credit, his hands reclaimed their mantle on Sveta’s waist without delay.

As for Stella, she simply pressed both her hands together and fell back into the comfortable hold of her corner chair, though in true manner befitting her, she had one last thing to say:

“At least I have one, mate.”

Sveta already predetermined that she would not dignify her older sister’s erstwhile impending rebuttal with one of her own. She opted to use one of the more preferred human methods of communication that she picked up from Stella… who had picked it up from Fredrick months ago:

The simple, raised middle-finger over her back. She didn’t even glance back at Stella to ensure proper aim.

Cool mares don’t look back at cunts, after all.

With the conclusion of the previous banter spell, Fredrick’s attention honed back on the mare straddling him... and having re-oriented on their previous positioning, their eyes met with the same lustful ferocity that had come to culminate the night thus far. That same devilish, sultry, teeth-baring grin Sveta gave him, as well as again deliberately squeezing her chest between her conspicuously positioned biceps did well to cure any earlier ‘softening’ in good order.

Sveta wanted one last taste before she moved things forward.

For Fredrick, all he witnessed was Sveta arching her back forward—never breaking eye-contact— and pushing her already swollen bust to the forefront. The human was powerless against her brazen, blatant movement, and took every liberty to look directly into Sveta’s chest. For a split second he was more worried for the integrity of her gorgeous bikini-top—the added arch to her already large bosom was straining the supports and the cups.

Fredrick’s admiring of the view was interrupted when he felt Sveta’s index finger under his chin softly beckon his gaze upward from her chest, and with a bright, child-like smile, he returned the mare’s comically horny expression.

With a bitten lip, she giggled mischievously and planted one last, three-second kiss on his lips before she pulled back with an exaggerated ‘mwah!’

Fredrick was beginning to get the message, and—just like before they were so rudely interrupted—Fredrick’s drew his hands upward, then made their way from the back of her upper torso, down her slim waist, and then right back down to her ass. He took the liberty of diving under her panties and taking each one of her fleshy, firm cheeks into his hands, digging the tips of his fingers deep into her muscle.

Just as wonderful as a couple minutes prior.

The involuntary groan that eeked its way out of Sveta’s mouth made the postponing of their next ‘phase’ all worthwhile. Even more than that, Sveta reflexively pressed her waist tight against his, which had the effect of sandwiching the entire length of his rigid, now-throbbing dick between his lower abs, and Sveta’s. The human was further strained when Sveta let out another, knowing sigh, which sent eager butterflies to his diaphragm.

And then she pressed the tip of her nose to his… and winked.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

But then again, that was probably the entire point.

And as he continued to knead her rear, their gentle groans faded into background noise as they continued to lock eyes with one another. Their mouths stood-off barely an inch apart, and they felt their steaming breath break upon their faces once more as Sveta found a rhythm… she pressed her hips forward and down for the first time this evening, making sure that she could feel every inch of Fredrick’s concealed length grinding upon her covered, needy nethers.

Sveta’s lascivious, fangy smirk refused to abate, especially at this point. When she conveyed the cadence of her hips to Fredrick, he did well to tighten his grip on her cheeks, which etched out yet another adorably sexy squeak from her.

She groaned breathily to Fredrick’s face:

“Somepony’s enjoying themselves...” she mentioned, her hips passively continuing to grind into his with the slowest, arousing, purposeful movements.

Before Fredrick could counter with heated banter of his own, Sveta added:

“You look—mmmm...—like you want somethin’. Tell me,” she demanded.

Fredrick wanted a very many things right now, and through his narrowed, sultry gaze that was controlled by how impossibly hard he was, he figured his thoughts were scrawled all over his face in graffiti.

But then again, things wouldn’t be as fun if he weren’t equally as coy. So, he alluded with appropriate flirtiness:

“I could say the same thing about you…”

How suggestively he uttered those words sent gratification and excitement straight to Sveta’s heaving core. If she could bite her lip even harder in anticipation, she would have torn through it.

She shook her head.

“Fuck that, mate… I asked first. Tell me… and I’ll tell you,” she counter-proposed.

Fredrick cocked a lone eyebrow and curled up one side of his lips coyly.

“Yeah?” he replied. “Well, you know what I really want?”

Sveta brought her mouth half an inch from his.

“What do ya really want, Fred?” she parroted.

The way she said his name and how the single syllable rolled off her tongue did it for him. For extra emphasis, Fredrick relinquished his hold on her supple butt and made his way up her body.

“I want…” he began, and then much to Sveta’s adorable, pleasant, squealing surprise, he latched both of his hands onto either of her jugs and hefted them upward. They overflowed in his grip, and the bikini cups nearly gave way and almost made her chest spill out completely.

Almost.

“...these huge tits in my mouth. Right now,” he added with extra husk in his already strained breath.

His index and middle fingers of both hands immediately hooked behind the fronts of her cups, and he was dead set on pulling them apart and satisfying his craving for what he had been allowed to taste barely a couple hours before. What was once a privilege that was granted to him by some black magic and being the luckiest human on this side of the universe, turned into a mighty need.

Sveta admired his boldness but she had other plans. She had anticipated exactly where he was going and, with a throaty giggle, she batted both of his hands away, much to Fredrick’s readily apparent chagrin.

She rolled her eyes, but made sure Fredrick was tracking her every movement as she lifted a hand to the back of her neck.

“Figures… you stallions ‘re all the same,” she remarked.

With a simple tug of two of her fingers, the supporting strap of her bikini top was now useless. The cups then flopped forward and down, revealing those perfect teal teardrops of tits that Fredrick was so craving. He could already tell long before the top came off, but her cute, pert little nipples were hard enough to shear glass, and they almost looked painful.

A perfect size for his lips to wrap around, and for his tongue to dance around. Suddenly, he was extremely hungry.

“Don’t worry,” she assuaged, booping Fredrick’s nose. “They’ll be all yours, later. I promise~...”

Sveta—oh so innocently—delicately reached her left hand behind her back and did away with the final strap of her top, which fell lifelessly onto Fredrick’s chest.

Not that he cared… his eyes were glued to Sveta’s chest, and after she tossed the now-useless garment aside, she further encouraged his attention by cradling her two tits in her arms. He watched as Sveta infuriatingly admired her anatomy… one which was the cause of much controversy amongst other mares, and often the objects of pure, envious disdain from her own sister.

She then took both of her breasts into her hands… which looked comically small in comparison, and she spoke:

“But fer now… you know what I want?” she fielded, adopting a cheshire smile.

Fredrick was more than willing to play along, and he kept a gentle grip on her waist since the mare absolutely refused to let him near her grab-able tits at the moment.

He cocked his head with a knowing smirk of his own:

“No… what do you want?” he dared to ask.

Sveta lightly pinched her nipples, and she tugged at her lower lip with her teeth as she leaned forward. With extra emphasis being placed on squeezing her chest tightly within her handhold, she fielded her simple request:

“I want you tae pin me to this bed…” she began, and inched her face down, closer to Fred’s. “...spread me legs as wide as you can….”

She got closer, beaming.

“...and stuff me fuckin’ cunt with that hard cock. Then, I want you tae pound into me until I know I’m not gonna walk properly fer the next couple days.

“No foreplay.

“No games.”

She squished her nose against his.

“Just fuck me.”

Fredrick’s jaw hung ajar, slack and useless as his eyes were wide with lust. Sveta’s words gave him every permission to act in any way he saw fit to achieve her rather simple, fulfilling objectives that she had laid out before him. His breath was shaky, and a surge of blood southward had him fearful that the sheer force of how much he hardened would propel him dick-first into the firmament.

With the tactical prowess expected from Stella, Sveta had expertly baited Fredrick into action. She also batted her eyelashes invitingly—just in case the message was not clear enough.

Sveta had proverbially turned around, flicked her tail up, walked the other way with extra sway in her rear, and dared Fredrick to chase her down and take control.

And so he would.

Fredrick delivered only the tiniest of warnings when—hands still squarely on Sveta’s waist—gave her a firm squeeze on the sides of her abs, as if to tickle her. This drew Sveta’s attention once she squeaked out a tiny laugh, and with his little diversion a success, it allowed him to launch his true surprise attack:

He then suddenly fully wrapped his arms around Sveta’s waist, pulled her close to him, then immediately flipped the two of them.

“WHOA!” Sveta screeched by way of pure surprise, and landed softly but firmly on her back.

Her head bounced on the pillow, and her bare breasts bounced in kind, though still maintained their perkiness despite gravity’s jealous tug. It was an effortless swap of positions on Fredrick’s part, and as her sudden bout of vertigo subsided, a single, satisfied voice rang out in the darkness:

“AAAYYE! THERE WE FUCKIN’ GO, FINALLY! FUCK!”

Fredrick was now the one in control, and he realized this fully when Sveta’s wide, sapphire-eyed, surprised face peered up at him through the veil of her bangs. Her mouth hung in a gentle ‘o’ shape, but once her aforementioned vertigo subsided, her face quickly morphed back into one of lustful anticipation. Her toothy smirk returned in full and with things back in full swing, the human made for his ultimate prize:

The strings of Sveta’s bikini bottoms.

Fredrick placed both of his hands on Sveta’s diaphragm, just below her heaving tits that he longed to have in his hold again, but called upon all reserves of his self control to honor her playful edict. He traced lines downward on her body, earning satisfied groans and giggles as a result of how his gentle touch literally tickled her in all the right ways.

Their trek downward was only ‘marred’ by Sveta’s light muscle contour that he had grown fond of, and finally, reaching the hem of her bottoms, he dipped his fingers low beneath her bikini strings.

He flicked his eyes up and winked.

“May I?”

Sveta was clearly beyond the point of formalities.

“Mate, if ya don’t get this damp piece of cloth off me right now I’ll be forced tae rip ‘em off m’self and have tae buy a new bikini… you don’t want me tae do that, do ya?” she asked rhetorically, cocking her head to the right in an annoyingly innocent fashion that further added to Fredrick’s increasing arousal.

Fredrick’s eyes glimmered like a nymphomaniac in a sex store when he received the explicit permission to peel her remaining garment from her body. Sparing little time, he hooked his fingers into her panties—he ensured Sveta was carefully watching everything he was up to—and he agonizingly slowly pulled her pink bottoms down her smooth, lean legs inch-by-inch.

The job was a little more difficult on account of their juxtaposition, so Sveta aided him by curling her legs inward, giving Fredrick less ‘leg’ to slip the bottoms off of. This also had the intended effect of concealing her most vulnerable part of her to his eye… and as Fredrick tossed the now-useless garment over his shoulder, he was treated only to the sight of her slim, defined tummy leading down her pubic area… of which beyond that was was obscured by her crossed thighs.

Just enough to the imagination was left, and it stirred up a sex-clouded whirlwind in Fredrick’s mind. The war for riling each other up the most had finally reached a turning point, and he tried as much as he could… but Sveta was not forthcoming in letting him see her bareness between her closed legs.

Her mischievously smug, desiring smile told all.

Sveta, however, was a generous goddess (‘goddess’ being an accurate word to describe her, at least in Fredrick’s eyes). And this image was further elevated by how provocative she looked, writhing on the bed to keep her legs closed and sealed from Fredrick’s eyes.

Her inner thighs, as a result, were slick with her own arousal as it spiderwebbed downward. She continued to grind those long legs of her together, but her eyes now harbored a much more pleading aura to Fredrick… she was ready to open herself to him entirely.

But only on one condition.

Nearly having chewed her lower lip to a pulp with how hard she was trying to look at being sexy for Fredrick, she asked a single question:

“Ya promise tae fuck me raw if I open me legs?”

Fredrick was struck by the sincerity of those words—how much weight Sveta put behind them, coupled with how needy she sounded nearly bowled him over by sheer arousal. However, to answer her, a simple ‘fuck yes!’ would never do at all. After all, he still had to level the playing field, in a sense… so the best response would be a nonverbal one. She already knew the answer, and he just had to prove it.

He knew exactly how:

Fred undid the tie of his swimsuit, loosened the waist, and with a little bit of extra force on account of the residual dampness and his own annoyingly ironclad anatomy, he was able to slide them down. His slick-with-precum dick was finally exposed to the humid night atmosphere of Sveta’s room, and it bounced freely before Sveta’s now-wider eyes. With some clumsy maneuvering on his part, Fredrick discarded his own swim trunks in similar fashion as before.

Quod erat demonstrandum. A gesture that succinctly translated to ‘bitch I might be.’

With how intently and ravenously Sveta was leering at Fredrick’s throbbing member, he felt smug in assuming that Sveta was sufficiently satisfied.

“O-Oh… aye then,” was all Sveta could say.

After one last shaky, anxious sigh that held so much excited yet unsure emotion and adrenaline within, her sheer eagerness to get on with the show led to her exaggeratedly uncrossing her legs. Laying back with the aid of a double-pillow setup to support her head, she spread both her legs as wide as she was able and placed herself on unabashed display to Fredrick. She revealed to him her swollen, single-slit of a marehood that was already glistening in the dim lighting of her room.

From how much darker the coat around her nethers was, Fredrick could immediately deduce how soaked she had been… and possibly for how long. His mouth slackened, and he salivated at the very prospect of getting a taste of what reminded him of a juicy, freshly-ripened fruit that was ready for devouring.

In an attempt to entice him even more, Sveta drew her tongue once around the periphery of her lips and snaked a hand between her legs. With a move that brought some amazing memories flooding back into his mind, the teal-coated batpony took two of her fingers and spread her delectable lips apart. From how pink her tunnel looked, Fredrick had to actually sit on his heels as this time, he could not prevent from being bowled over.

A mare that had been unequivocally more modest around him, and valued the traits of propriety was suddenly baring himself entirely to him with a face that he could only describe as pure eroticism.

He was at the precipice, and the threat of exploding right then and there from sight was slowly but surely becoming a real threat if Fred did not act now.

“Well?” Sveta asked with an air of playful impatience, breaking the both of them out of their staring stupors.

She then did well remind him salaciously:

“Also remember… I’m very sensitive.”

He needed no further invitation.

With extreme awkwardness based on his position on his knees, he shuffled forward into the embrace of Sveta’s open legs. He placed both of his hands on her waist again and admired her figure once more up and down, to which Sveta further encouraged him by gingerly holding onto his forearms in a silent show of moral support for the both of them.

Fredrick began to line the head of his dick with Sveta’s entrance, and the latter continued to hold herself open to further guide the human like runway lights to a landing aircraft. However, just before they touched uglies, the human hesitated. Sveta was blissfully unaware as she was anticipating the final thrust, but Fredrick’s face had soured subtly… he realized that he was about to spelunk the younger Sabre.

What would Stella really think of him after this.

And as if the holy were listening from above, he had his answer:

“WELL ANYTIME TONIGHT YA FUKKIN’ TOOLS!” came the blurted words over his shoulder.

Fredrick nudged the head of his leaking dick onto Sveta’s lower lips, which elicited a gentle shudder from both parties… however, there was no time for Fredrick to relish in the feeling. Like Sveta, he wanted to just fuck and scratch those itches that needed to be scratched with a goddamn rake. He pressed forward and parted her completely, entering her fully and inching his way forward.

He flicked his eyes up to Sveta to make sure that she was okay and there was nothing he needed to worry about, though any concerns were immediately assuaged—Sveta instead let her head be taken to the pillow whilst groaning softly… a groan which extended from deep within her lungs and got louder and louder with every extra inch that Fredrick buried himself within her depths.

“Ahhhhhhhnnn…~”

And finally, he had fully hilted himself inside of her.

If there was an emoticon associated with just how satisfied she sounded in being ‘full,’ a little red heart would have probably floated up to the heavens from her mouth.

His breathing had become much more labored as he felt just how tight she was around him, and how every heartbeat her body produced could be felt in her most vulnerable, molten of her depths. His dick was also throbbing forcefully as if it had a second heart, and it appeared that both Sveta’s and his heartbeats were synchronized as one.

Much like with Stella, the pleasure that radiated straight from his dick and to his core was a hollow, amazingly indescribable feeling.

They were joined together at last, and it looked like Sveta was getting a little bit more out of this than either of them had anticipated.

“Uuughhh… fuck,” she squeaked out, eyes shuttered tightly.

She held up a single finger of caution “E-Easy when ya pull back, mate… oh fuck… I’m like, on fuckin’ edge right now.”

Naturally, Fredrick wasn’t one to believe something that seemed too good to be true, and his face reflected this.

“Really? Really now?” he questioned rhetorically, though huskily over his breath.

He figured she was trying to rile him up or instill more confidence in him, though this really was not necessary. Ever since he got with Stella, a lot of insecurities he had about himself in the sack or as a romantic type had gone out the window.

He then began to retract his length, which was much easier by virtue of slickness, courtesy of Sveta. By this point, Sveta was like a destroyed faucet, and her groaning continued in earnest as she felt every inch of him that was packed into her, suddenly be yanked out save for his head.

Fredrick began to vocalize his previous thoughts:

“I appreciate it, really, but you really don’t have to—”

“FUCK!”

Sveta cried out harshly, eyes slammed shut, and she arched her back upward. Her abs clenched and hardened liked rocks as her first orgasm of the night forced her lower body’s figurative hand. Her nethers tightened its velvety hold around Fredrick’s girth, and he had to act quickly to make sure that he himself did not succumb to the throes of his own orgasm too quickly by the sheer, erotic sight of Sveta.

The consequences would never be the same.

Still, this was overtaken by sheer awe at what he was witnessing in front of him. He had gotten some satisfying orgasms out of Stella… quite the lot, actually. But in this particular case, he pretty much did fuck-all and Sveta was already lying limply on the bed with a heaving, hyperventilating chest to boot.

He had heard of many stories of dudes entering the girl and instantly cumming, ending their mood for the evening, but despite what Sveta had warned him about, it was still one thing to actually see it. The only difference was that she wasn’t a one-pump-chump. Sveta was the self-proclaimed Energizer Bunny…

...she would keep going, and going, and going…

Sveta took a deep breath and came to, admitting, if a bit sheepishly:

“Heh, shit… sorry about that, mate. Told ya I was on edge…”

And that’s when he realized the task that was set before him. Fredrick was determined to not be like the stallions she had before, and make sure that she was completely satisfied before he himself blew… or perhaps, that was not the correct way of thinking of things.

The more appropriate task at hand was making sure she was satisfied, before he was spent.

“Jesus Christ…” was all he was able to muster at what had just transpired in the last few seconds, though he himself was not entirely sure if that was directed at Sveta’s revelation, or the monumental task in front of him.

Likely some measure of both.

Stella decided to weigh in at her sister’s initial performance:

“Fuckin’ seriously? Already, mate? Fred, this should be pretty easy for ya,” she also so confidently decreed.

All parties had calmed down, and it was only a matter of moving things along naturally. Fredrick, with a soft smile on his face, ran his hands over Sveta’s spread legs, palming her inner thighs nice and tightly whilst taking her heed of keeping her legs as wide as possible. The sudden sensation of firm fingers in her inner thighs sent Sveta rearing to go again, and she gazed longingly and expectantly at Fredrick through her bangs.

He steeled himself, and reminded himself that this wasn’t work. He also was completely on board with banging a huge-tiddy thestral—his dick was aching and crying out for attention as much as Sveta was, and the latter was more than willing to provide that for him.

And so, Fredrick thrust back into her, bottoming out, shaking Sveta’s form by kinetic force, and extorting a pleasure-filled yelp out of the mare.

She willingly accepted him in his entirety, though when Sveta felt his entire length slam into her, then retract again, and then bottom out in his predetermined rhythm, her mind quickly began going numb. Sveta’s pussy radiated pure electricity through her core, and the butterflies escaped from her stomach and out of her mouth by way of panting whimpers and pleading groans.

“Ahhhnn… yess… right there… mmmph! Just like that! Fuck me… like that…”

As for Fredrick, her slickened marehood felt incredible around his cock, and every time he pistoned into her it was another rush of warmth over his body that emanated straight from his dick. If he hadn’t been told otherwise—from how much she was moaning and how soaked she was—he might’ve suspected that she was in some early stages of heat.

As pleasure built within him, and as Sveta’s pleas became more forceful, louder, and more expletive-laden, he picked up speed. Fredrick hooked his arms under Sveta’s legs, pulled them close to him, and used them as extra leverage to plow into her needy tunnel with perfect cadence like an automated, hydraulic press.

“How ‘bout that??” Fredrick dared to ask through his concentration, not wanting to break focus in his task, despite how amazing her pussy felt.

He knew the risks of baiting dirtier talk out of Sveta, but they were risks he was more than content with taking.

Sveta bit her lip and gripped the covers to the point where she would likely shred them if any tighter. Her sexual high gave her an incredibly erotic, almost crazy look in her sapphire pools that threatened Fredrick with physical harm if he so much as slowed his onslaught.

“Just like fuckin’ that, Fred… Oh fuck… I’m getting fuckin’ close again don’t you fuckin’ stop… just keep fucking me!” she demanded.

His dick twitched inside her, and it seemed to get even more impossibly hard at her talk. His own sensitivity amplified, further spurred on by how Sveta writhed beneath him, training those slitted eyes directly onto his own. Every little movement or twitch she made only sent injections of pure pleasure straight into his lower core. He himself was quickly approaching the precipice.

“Me too… I’m starting to get close, too…” he warned.

Sveta only nodded excitedly, and continued relishing in the treatment he was giving her—the silent cue to cum whenever he wished.

Still, knowing Sveta was as close as he was was enough for Fredrick to up the ante, so to speak. Irrespective of his approaching end, the was going to ensure that Sveta had another, explosive orgasm to speak of at a later date. His automation was in maximum overdrive, and he dug his fingers into Sveta’s legs to harness any bit of extra leverage he could when thrusting into her. The squelching sounds of their fucking were now the white noise that dominated the atmosphere, in perfect competition with Sveta’s pleading moans and Fredrick’s own strained, pleasure-filled breaths.

And the moment that Fredrick shifted his technique and literally dug into her was when Sveta lost it completely.

“GAHHH SHIT I’M CUMMING!” Sveta again blurted out.

But as she writhed and lost herself to the throes of another orgasm that crashed over her like a gargantuan tidal wave, he continued to beating his length into her. His own groaning was extremely evident, especially with his compounding bliss threatened to push him over the edge.

A garbled series of whines, pleas, and grotesque language waterfalled from her mouth as her mental coherence devolved into putty. This was exactly what Fredrick needed to push onward and claim his own release—a release he could barely hold back, and one that was dangerously close to clubbing him in the back of the head like some poser-ass seal.

Sveta’s tits bounced hypnotically with every thrust that Fredrick made, and with the extra writhing on her part, they presented perfect targets for him to potentially suck on and ravish to his liking. Unfortunately, however, that would entail him bending his back at an terrible angle while still keeping up his onslaught on her nethers, which would not end well for anyone.

As a result, he just had to ‘settle’ for reaching out and grasping her right tit with his left hand, handing him more leverage to drive his dick deeper whilst maintaining pleasure on all fronts. Her darker blue nipple peeked out between his fingers, and he made sure to pinch it between his knuckles.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum…” Fredrick delivered his final warning.

A recovering Sveta smirked deviously, and batted her eyelashes from under her matted bangs.

“Aye?” she asked oh-so innocently, grasping her neglected breast and squeezing it against her chest, swelling it for Fredrick’s viewing pleasure.

Further, she gyrated her hips in precise, inverted coordination with his thrusts to make sure that he hit her as deep as his anatomy allowed. She also invoked the help of ‘specific’ muscles to squeeze him and further coax out what she wanted.

Fredrick nodded vehemently in response to her question.

“Then you better fuckin’ give me every drop, okay Freddie?” she nearly begged, using a pet name of his that he detested under normal circumstances.

These were not normal circumstances.

“You gonna give me more after this too, love?”

“Ooooh yesss…” he answered, his thrusts and bucks becoming that much more erratic. He knew exactly what she was trying to do and it was working spectacularly.

And Sveta was more than keen on baiting him until she had what she wanted:

“Come on, Fred… fuck… I’m gettin’ close again too! You better fuckin’ shoot that fuckin’ cum inside me… bury it in me an’ I’ll let you choose where you paint me next,” she enticed.

“GIVE IT TO ME, CUNT!”

By the magical properties of that word, Fredrick would be hard pressed to truly describe how hard he came at that instant. He thrust forward and quite literally erupted inside of her. Through gritted teeth, Fredrick nearly growled when every consecutive pistoning into her resulted in him spewing volley after volley of his seed into her…

...and Sveta was catapulted into her third orgasm of the evening.

“Oh Luna yessss…” she moaned almost psychotically, crushing both her tits (and Fredrick’s hand by extension) into her chest.

His internal magazine was spent. From how much he pumped into Sveta’s hungry womb, he realized that he expended much more energy than he would have liked. Granted, that was probably one of the best orgasms he had ever had in his entire life, but even so, he was not sure how long it would be before he would get back to ‘serviceable’ length.

Even the sight of Sveta reveling in another orgasmic plateau by way of being filled to the brim by his essence.

Both were hyperventilating powerfully, especially Fredrick considering he could count on a single hand how many times he nutted that level. Perhaps it was just the alleged ‘taboo-ness’ of their circumstance that made it so hot, like a forbidden desire almost.

Sveta weighed in, running her shaky fingers up his arms. Her tone was a sweet as mango honey in tea:

“Got any more fer me, mate?”

She way she inquired from him was enough to make his semi-flaccid dick twitch partially back to life, but it was a silly, borderline rhetorical question. Of course he did, especially if she continued to treat him to words like that. But the more appropriate question would be ‘when would you have more for me, Fredrick? You sexy beast with the best cock ever.’

Yeah, that definitely would’ve been the better question.

“Y-Yeah…” Fredrick said breathily. “Might need just a minute though… sorry,” he apologized.

Thankfully, Sveta was far from disappointed. The fact that Fredrick only needed a supposed ‘minute’ was the icing on the cake of his performance. She smiled one of the most beautiful smiles she could muster, one so innocent that Fredrick would have little choice but to be instantly attracted.

That definitely worked.

Further, she gently moaned—eye contact rigidly enforced—whilst she took both of her breasts in her hand. Again, with those comically smaller hands of hers, she began kneading her bosom together, molding them around each other to produce the mouth-watering cleavage that Fredrick harbored much affection for. It was a testament to her uncanny ability to read him so precisely at this moment, and she even threw in some nipple-pinching between her fingers for added effect.

And she could feel his dick harden inside her, just the way she wanted it. Fredrick’s eager smile and wide eyes at her little ministrations did not lie.

Sveta beamed.

“All good?”

“Yeah…” Fredrick replied, wiping his brow of a bit of sweat accumulation.

He tenderly pulled out of Sveta, which resulted in another groan from her. And after a few strokes on his part, he was fully rearing to go once more, much to the mare’s excitement.

“All set!” he declared.

That youthful, horny-teenager look in her eyes had returned.

“Can… Can we switch?” she asked as she shakily got to her knees.

Fredrick blinked once, spacing out for a moment upon her request, but proptly came back to when Sveta was already taking the initiative—dragging him down to the bed with her eyes trained on his, without his regards to his answer.

“Uhhh… absolutely!” he finally voiced, and a similar, childish giddiness welled up inside him at the thought of being able to see this gorgeous thestral ride him to her heart’s content.

She whispered in his ear, flicking his lobe with her tongue:

“Good lad…”

And so, with Sveta’s tender, helping hand on his chest, Fredrick was placed on his back, much like he had started when the night truly began. Except this time, instead of an anxious, excited mare assaulting his lips in a gorgeous bikini atop him, there was an already blissfully satisfied, sex-crazed thestral with gorgeous sapphire eyes that demanded more satisfaction.

Her slitted, dilated pupils, splayed wings, and protruding fangs triggered Fred’s fight-or-flight instincts in the most arousing ways possible, surging adrenaline and blood flow southward. It was the same feeling when Stella promised him the night of his life, with the same forwardness he had come to expect from both of them.

But the difference here was that he had already fucked Sveta—her look was his doing.

It was art in its carnal form.

Fredrick’s dick was now as straight as an arrow, demanding attention as the slickness of its former sheath caused it to shine at the right angles for Sveta. And that afforded her ample invitation to straddle his waist, much like she did earlier. Her thighs were sore, and her entire lower abs were in poor condition after three powerful orgasms. Thankfully Fredrick was nice enough to lend her his two hands under her butt so she could concentrate on lining herself up—she spared little trust in her wobbly legs to keep proper coordination without the aid of her eyes.

Fully lined up with the head of his dick pressing inward, Stella bit her lip as she lowered herself onto him. Fredrick duly supported her in her noble endeavor, but his arms were also shaky as it was, and feeling her sink upon him inch-by-inch was not exactly a ‘feeling-less’ task.

Every extra inch that she took of him elicited the cutest, sexiest whimpers of expletives that Fred was blessed to hear. Sveta’s erotic noises were pleading… pleading for more, and as much as he could provide.

And once more, Sveta hilted him fully inside her, and the two joined together in a gentle chorus of shared moans and heavy breaths.

Fredrick ran his hands up Sveta’s forearms, barely pressing his fingers into her skin all the while. The mare shuddered contentedly at the goosebumps that were produced as a result.

Without notice, Sveta placed both of her hands on Fredrick’s chest and—using this for leverage—began to find a steady grinding rhythm. Moving only her hips with impressive core strength, Sveta’s hips pressed nice and firmly into Fredrick every time she bottomed out on him.

“There we go…” Fredrick encouraged her, earning another lopsided smile from the focused mare.

“Aye? Like that? How about...”

The sexual pleasure shared between the two of them surged through their bodies once more, and the soft, gradually increasing groaning began anew. However, to Fredrick’s sudden shock, Sveta had little patience, and immediately hit the accelerator by moving from grinding to outright bouncing.

“Oh fuck yes… fuck… fuck… ahhn… Fred!”

The change in the tones of her cute, Scottish sex noises was readily apparent, and they further spurred Fredrick on, so long as he could continue hearing those angelic tones coming from her mouth. Eye-contact was virtually nonexistent, especially as Sveta was literally impaling herself on him, abusing her own swollen cunt for all the years of terrible experiences.

She was determined to make up for it all.

For Fredrick, Sveta calling his name at infrequent intervals further added to his own experience. The way that his dick had already gotten accustomed to Sveta’s pussy made it so that every time he was not inside her up on her upstrokes, he would make sure to buck his hips upward when she succumbed to gravity. The human also did well to hold her by the waist to make sure she didn’t slip off, and to let her put more focus on enjoying herself.

Fredrick’s own groaning was getting louder and louder, and once again, despite the loss of some sensitivity, he felt himself building up to another, second high. Regardless, he had a task to do, and—

“FUUUUCK YESSS!” Sveta growled through gritted teeth.

Fredrick was treated to the full view of her core tightly clenched, and her lower body going as rigid as an iron bar with the arrival of her fourth orgasm. Their joined nethers were so soaked that they might as well have ruined Sveta’s sheets for all they knew.

“Jesus christ…” Fredrick uttered once more, but in the end, he figured he should not look a gift mare in the mouth, considering that her frequent orgasms were giving him some break-time to recover

…assuming she didn’t clench too hard on him like last time.

Sveta’s orgasmic groaning morphed into high, almost deranged-sounding laughter. The smile on her face seemed almost permanent, Joker-esque. Her pearly whites accented that gorgeous, sweaty face perfectly. What was one immaculately combed, straight hair was now an unkempt mess.

She was beautiful before… but now, she was drop-dead sexy. He almost came again just from the sight of her satisfied face in conjunction with her childlike laughter, all while her perfect tits were heaving along with her chest every time she took a breath.

Further, the poor mare could barely find the words to express just how amazingly over Luna’s moon she was at this current moment.

“Oh my fuckin’ Luna… Fredrick you’re just…”

There was an amazing compliment if there was any. In his boost in confidence, Fredrick replied:

“Once in awhile I impress… once in awhile,” he said with a smug smirk.

The two shared a breathy, erotic moment with one another. The two were unbelievably sweaty, as if they had gone through four rounds of interval training. Their muscles hurt. Their respective hair and mane were wholly unkempt, devoid of any form that complemented their looks. Green eyes were squarely trained on sapphire, and the small, still-brimming smiles were all that needed to be said after that.

And in being so caught up with said moment, their attention to their peripherals was nonexistent. As a result, they failed to notice a challenger who had entered the fray:

“Deal me in, twats,” was all Stella needed to utter to garner both sets of attention.

Both heads snapped to attention and faced Stella, who had now completely foregone her earlier, ridiculous additions to her attire. Furthermore, she had also done away with her own pink bikini. One-hundred percent nude and bare to both parties, Fredrick immediately took notice of her bare breasts, muscular abdomen, and surprisingly wet nethers that had stained the color of her coat a darker gray.

Fredrick’s arousal returned with a vengeance.

“Ummm… okay?” Fredrick questioned, but accepted.

He wasn’t sure what Stella had in mind, but he’d have no qualm with including her, assuming Sveta didn’t try to beat her back. But then again, Stella put the two of them together, so it wouldn’t be like Sveta had any say in the matter, if either of them were completely honest.

Sveta wasn’t as immediately accepting:

“Fuckin’... why? Can’t ya wait ‘til I’m done, lass?”

“Nae,” Stella replied, climbing onto the bed next to Fredrick. “Besides, after gettin’ you tae fuckin’ cum four times, I think you should be fuckin’ worshippin’ his cock right now,” she not-so-subtly suggested.

Sveta drew a blank on that one in the comeback department. Because Stella was absolutely right—Fredrick had brought her an enormous amount of pleasure, and being completely honest with herself, she did owe him, considering that he only came once.

So, the answer was clear, and she smiled down at Fredrick, who beamed back in return when her cheery disposition had returned in full force.

“Aye! Then Stella, what do ya… propose?” she eagerly asked.

Stella was quick to direct:

“Fredrick, you turn and get yer legs off the bed. Sveta, you get between them and show ‘im a good fuckin’ time, aye?” she said with a wink.

And just like that, despite Fredrick’s ability to do things himself, he was helped by both mares to get him perpendicular to his previous position. His legs were no longer supported by the soft covers of Sveta’s bed, and now bent at ninety degrees with his feet on the cool floor.

Sveta was quick to crawl off the bed and cozy up between Fredrick’s spread legs, coming face to face with his dick. Fredrick supported himself upward with his elbows and found Sveta staring back up at him sultrily through her matted bangs. She ran her finger through her mane on either side of her face, clearing up her visage before laying her arms on Fredrick’s thighs.

She winked up at him.

“Just tell me when yer gonna explode, aye?”

Fred was taken aback by the allusion, but agreed nonetheless with immense vigor.

“Y-Yeah! You got it…”

And with that, Sveta delivered a teeny, chaste kiss to the head of his dick, a thin strand of his precum connecting his head with her lips…

...and that was the last thing he knew for sure before she descended downward and engulfed his entire dick into her maw.

“FUCKS SAKE!” Fredrick blurted out, perhaps a little too loudly, at the enormous pleasure influx as his dick was essentially inhaled.

Sveta went straight to work with her hands and her mouth, sparing no attempt to treat him softly. She drew the entirety of her tongue length around his girth, wiping him clean of any of his precum or their combined juices so she could taste him purely. And that’s when she started sucking.

“HAH…” Fredrick groaned again, but this time Stella was there to intercede.

“Yer a little too loud, mate,” she noted. “But I’ll keep yer mouth shut…”

Her instant solution was to push his chest back and force him back into the bed’s embrace, but quickly followed up by straddling his chest.

Fred’s eyes went wide, forgetting momentarily about the oral assault that Sveta was lavishing him with so he could bear witness to Stella shimmying up with the brightest, most deviant smile on her face. His heart raced, and eventually, his vision was eclipsed by Stella’s soaked, aching marehood that was ripe for eating.

And to Fredrick, Stella had one command:

“Shut up and eat.”

Fredrick gripped Stella by her perfect, muscular ass, slapped the right cheek once for good measure to get a good, raspy squeak out of her, and then brought her down flush to his mouth. He drew the flat of his tongue over the entirety of her slit, eliciting another satisfied groan out of her, before parting her completely and worming himself inside of her.

“Ohhh fuck me, I’ll never get tired of that fuckin’ tongue of yours,” Stella uttered, running her fingers through his hair and staring down at him to make sure he stayed right where he was.

Sveta hummed an affirmative, exaggerated ‘mhmmm!’ in agreement with her older sister, but with the ulterior motive of shooting those vocal vibrations directly into Fredrick’s dick. She then continued to savor his taste as she drew her tongue up and down with her mouth’s strokes. Bobbing her head on his cock and savoring his musky, intoxicating taste was evoking unhinged moans of satisfaction from her.

Her eyes closed as she continued her work in earnest. She even managed to sneak her free hand between her legs… for science.

Fredrick was barely holding it together because of Sveta, and everytime she sucked, slurped, and hummed into his swollen cock, he had little choice but to release those pent up groans of his own, which in turn injected them directly into Stella’s nethers.

And in a brief thought away from the ‘battle,’ Fredrick realized that Sveta was indirectly pleasuring Stella.

Which was pretty gay, and kinda incest-y.

Incest-y and gay… but still pretty hot.

“Right there!” Stella cried out, grabbing a fist-full of Fred’s hair and nearly pulling his head up to smash into that one spot that he was tonguing. “Fuckin’ eat me right there! God Fredrick… AHHH! Keep eating m’ cunt like that and I’ll cum all over yer fuckin’ face…” she warned and implicitly instructed.

Fred was faring no better, and he extricated himself for a single second to let that be known.

He breathed deeply and called out:

“Okay! Me too!” and he went right back to work, earning unanimous approval from the council of Stella and her abused pussy.

Those words were all Sveta needed to hear. In a lust-driven haze, she sucked once more, and pulled herself away from Fred’s dick with a sexy-sounding ‘pop’ echoing in her room. Breathing heavily, and with two strands of her own saliva bridging the gap between his shaft and her lips, Sveta scooted a smidge closer, levitated herself a little higher on her knees, and swiftly enveloped Fredrick’s slick length in her bosom.

Fredrick’s own ministrations stopped for a split second, and his eyes went wide at the unmistakable feeling of his dick in her cleavage. Still, for Stella, he fought on, passing through his own groans and expletives into Stella’s hot tunnel.

As Stella began grinding her nethers directly onto Fredrick’s mouth, Sveta went straight to work in massaging Fred’s length between her tits, alternating the pressure between her two orbs pendulously. All the while, she was unable to help herself from lapping at his tip that poked through her natural chasm when she was able, tasting his essence from the source.

Even the younger batpony had to concede that this was what boobs of her cup size were made for.

Fredrick was closer than ever, and this manifested in his hips having a mind of their own. They bucked upward in any effort to get more stimulation and feel ever inch of Sveta’s heavenly cleavage, and the teal-coated mare quickly took notice.

She ceased her own movements, and simply opted to compress her tits together, forming a nice, tight tunnel for his use.

“Go on!” she encouraged with urgency. “Do it… fuck ‘em like you wanted to the day you fuckin’ met me, aye?”

Fred did not need to be told twice. Employing all the power in his glutes, he thrust his entire dick through Sveta’s tits, and she diligently held them in place, being sure to happily lap at his length as she was able. And in any attempt to edge himself and stave off the inevitable, the human concentrated on assaulting his marefriend’s clit with his tongue whilst squeezing her powerful thighs as some form of ‘stress’ relief.

Fredrick’s coherence was becoming shoddy as he was right on the edge, and Sveta saw this immediately. To further coax him over, she tightened her hold on her breasts impossibly and began working him over opposite of his thrusts.

And the sudden change in tempo completely careened him over the cliff.

Fredrick moaned gutturally as on his final thrusts, he once again erupted explosively, though this time right into Sveta’s tight cleavage on a downstroke. And as he fired off rope after rope of his enormous load, the mare kept her tits tight around his cock and made sure to catch every drop between her tits. She could feel his warmth pool and collect, and some had absorbed directly into her coat whilst more even collected in a small lake of white at the top of her valley.

Those same guttural moans from Fredrick were sent directly into Stella, which then pushed her over the same cliff of orgasmic heights.

“FUCK… YESS!” she cried out as well, holding Fredrick’s head right where it was, where he continued to lick and pleasure to milk every bit of her pineapple-flavored essence out of her.

And then, all went silent…

The sounds of carnal acts replaced only with deep, labored breaths. The room was heavy with an artificial humidity and a combined musk from three parties. A window desperately needed to be cracked… but their combined ability to care amounted to exactly zero.

Stella—face matted with sweat and out of breath—rolled off of Fredrick’s face and onto one of Sveta’s pillows, which afforded the human the ability to breath.

The lower half of Fredrick’s face was coated in a clear sheen of Stella’s natural lubricant, and he stared blankly—half-dead—at the ceiling with the most satisfied smirk he ever donned in his life. He drew his tongue once around his lips to savor Stella’s taste that he found so addicting.

And as for Sveta, she finally stood up from between Fred’s legs and admired his handiwork: her cleavage was annihilated, and spreading her bosom apart revealed the curtains of viscous white that stuck to the insides of both her breasts, and dripped down her cleavage. By virtue of her coat, it all neatly stuck and matted it completely.

And she was the first to speak after uproarious, satisfied laughter.

“Ho-ly shite, mate…” she remarked. “You really do enjoy tits, don’t ya?” she toyed.

She then sauntered to the other side of her room in search of a towel to wipe herself down at least somewhat. Realistically, she would need a shower, but regardless, she had an bounce in her step during her little search.

Fredrick groaned painfully as he scooted his way next to Stella:

“Do you really need me to answer that, Svet?” he insinuated with a higher inflection in his voice.

One that brought a smile to Sveta’s face, and a smug one at that as she began wiping herself down.

“Hehe, works every time.”

She also flashed a tired smile over her shoulder back at Fredrick:

“Oh, and cheers fer that!”

Stella only had one thing to add after having snuggled up on Fredrick’s right, her arm draped over him possessively.

“Oi, shuddup and come cuddle with us, ya fuckin’ glorious cunt!” she beckoned over.

Sveta rolled her eyes, smirking.

“Yeah, yeah… just lemme wipe this fuckin’ cum off me, aye?”

[Later that night…]

What a fuckin’ day…

In the wake of the culmination of one of the greatest sexual experiences of his life… actually, of his life to date… Fredrick’s thoughts were hard pressed to come up with anything other than that one mantra he had been repeating in his head for the last twenty minutes while he lay awake in bed.

What a fuckin’ day

Though that phrase could not be even thought of without a continuation of the dopey smile that he had on his face as he trekked through the darkened Sabre household on a quest for some quenching.

His eyes were heavy with fatigue, and his muscles, especially those in his lower body and shoulders, ached like he had run three marathons back to back. The amount of physical pain in the morning that he’d be subjected to… Fred was already wondering how he was going to be walking, and who would have the liberty of having his arm slung over their shoulders.

But in the end, it was all worth it. His mind, his heart, and his dick were all in unanimous agreement on that fact, at the very least.

While it was extremely difficult for Fred to wrest himself free of the dual holds of Stella’s and Sveta’s cuddling expertise on either side of him, he had little choice in the matter. His body had to call upon the very life force that powered him to run enough semen through his dick… just so he could satisfy the unexpectedly two mares that joined in on the fun with him.

It was a new experience on all accounts… one which he needed to learn on the job how to economize his human alfredo sauce… though in reality, it technically all went to Sveta.

In the end, however, all parties were satisfied.

Ergo, a successful climax of his vacation week in kind. It would be rather tame from here on out for the remainder of his time in Thestralshire.

Fredrick sighed out as he, without the hesitation from before, made his way into the darkened kitchen. He hung a left and easily remembered where the glassware was kept, in the cabinet just to the right above the sink. That smile of his refused to wane, even as he did something as simple as fill his glass with water under the faucet.

That is, of course, until Fred felt somepony watching him. He was much more prepared this time ever since he got 'ambushed’ by Sveta the other night via the darkness.

Smirking, he turned around and found a familiar pair of sapphire eyes staring back at him from beyond the veil.

“Sveta. Didn't hear you get up after me, heh. Had to wrench myself from both of your grips… Jesus man,” he commented, giggling giddily to himself.

He then followed up with a snarky:

“Trying to sneak round two without Stella?” Fred alluded.

The stoic face of Vampir revealed itself light—the true owner of those sapphire eyes.

Fredrick's mind took the biggest memory dump in history as he shat his pigmentation out his ass.

The patriarch of the household, silent as a grave, emerged more into Fredrick’s field of view with the darkness leaving nothing to the imagination. A short-sleeved, black sleeping shirt and baggy sweatpants were the attire for the evening. Vampir’s stone-like, muscled arms were folded, and if Fredrick didn’t meet him, he would’ve sworn that he was about to catch some fists with his face.

After an extraordinarily awkward silence—where wind and the occasional creature of the night could be heard from beyond the closed kitchen window—that lasted seemingly a lifetime, Vampir finally asked calm, and calculated:

“‘Round two,’ of what, lad?”

A wide-eyed Fredrick felt that, at this moment, he had no mouth… yet he had to scream. That appendage of lips, teeth, and a voice box did little but mime words which were not spoken in any attempt to cover what he just said.

“I… I… ummm… What I m…”

Vampir did not allow those thoughts any room to formulate, and with the same calm, calculated tone of voice, he interjected:

“And tell me, what business do ye have with Sveta in such a regard?”

Even further, he had closed the distance entirely, gazing down into Fredrick’s poorly-veiled apprehensiveness.

Fredrick’s heart felt like it was wearing out the integrity of his ribs from how hard and fast it was beating. It pounded against his sternum like a pissed-off baboon, and a thick sheen of moisture had already made itself noticeable on his forehead in the moonlight. His pupils had shrunk to pinpricks and his hands actually trembled like he had himself a bit too much caffeine.

This was one of the few times in his life that Fredrick was genuinely scared for his well-being.

Not a single word sounded from either party, even as Vampir’s sapphire eyes bore steaming craters into Fredrick’s very soul…

And then… there was a throaty snicker.

And that snicker quickly morphed into a hefty, deep, hearty chuckle from Vampir’s mouth. The patriarch, by this point had to cover his mouth and take a few pacing steps to calm himself down, lest he actually burst with wheezing cackling that would make the Joker jealous.

Fredrick was still left worse for wear by what he considered a near-death experience just then.

Then, the former special-forces officer, father of Fredrick’s marefriend whom he loved, as well as father of her sister whom he just ‘loved’ with his penis, wiped his mouth as he addressed Fredrick with a knowing smirk.

“Fuck’s sake mate… Stella’s right. It really is fuckin’ hilarious tae go windin’ ya up,” he stated, much to the shock and chagrin of a pale Fredrick.

Still skittish, he jumped slightly as Vampir brushed past him, and Vampire chuckled at his expense.

With his legs stiff, Fredrick, turned on his heels to find Vampir opening up the under-counter ice box, then gingerly pulling back a rolling rack of bottles-beyond-bottles of cool alcohol. The blue-coated batpony then retrieved two bottles of beer—the brand was familiar as Stella enjoyed drinking it when she was in the mood for something a little lighter.

Which was rarely the case, naturally.

Vampir popped the tops and handed one to a still-anxious Fredrick, who’s open hand accepted the ice-cold drink more out of reflex than cognitive thought.

Dad closed the ice box.

“Come with me, Fred,” Vampir beckoned as he walked past, and the human wordlessly heeded the thestral’s implicit command.

“O-Okay,” Fred managed.

Vampir led Fredrick out into the living room, where a cold, empty couch stood open and ready to receive anypony who had to do some late-night thinking outside of their room. With the coffee table present to accept any food or drink atop, those in its grasp were promised an unobstructed view of the Sabre family portrait… one which Fredrick still had to comment was impeccably well done.

It might as well have been a photo for all he was concerned.

Vampir gestured to his right as he took a seat just off-center on the cloth couch.

“Sit down, mate. Let’s ‘ave a chat.”

Fredrick did just that.

“Yeah, s-sure!”

Once the cushion beneath his ass compressed comfortably to hold his weight, a gentle silence fell upon the unexpected duo… one which was welcome for Fredrick as he contemplated his next words, or how to answer whatever Vampir was going to put forth once he decided to speak.

Instead, however, the teal-maned batpony was concentrating solely on the darkened portrait on the opposite wall.

So, Fred figured he would do the same, if only to pass the time until he was dismissed to head back to bed.

Vampir finally spoke:

“Stella has brought her fair share of colts home… even fewer have had the luxury of stayin’ the night."

He then turned his attention to Fredrick, who glanced back in kind.

Vampir’s added with no small complexion of being impressed:

“But never once… ever did anypony have the bollocks tae dig her trench when her mum an’ I were in the next room.

“Twice.”

Fredrick winced at that last word regardless of how Vampir said it, as he was reminded of how Vona caught the two of them right after the act. She, undoubtedly, conveyed this information to Vampir… this was something that Fredrick completely forgot to take into account.

D’oh!

Fredrick was not given a chance to respond… thankfully.

“An’ even more than that,” Vampir continued. “Nopony else has managed tae go cave explorin’ with Sveta… and Stella under our roof.”

He gestured to Fredrick’s untouched bottle with the head of his own, clinking it.

“You’ve earned that beer, mate. Cheers,” said, then raised his bottle a few inches before taking a swig.

Fredrick also took a sip, but for him, that was the most awkward sip of his life.

The beer tasted excellent, though.

“Ummm…” he began, though as he had expected to happen, his thoughts evaded him of an appropriate response. All other responses that he could have placed on the table would most certainly not have been appropriate given the circumstances.

“Not sure how I’m supposed to respond to that, but… heh,” he chuckled. “Thanks, I guess? Maybe?”

Vampir nodded with a smidge of a half-smirk on his face.

“Did ya really think I was gonna kill you?”

Fredrick angled his glance over at him.

“Well… maybe just a little?”

The stallion chuckled, if a bit exaggeratedly.

“Aye… well, not this time,” he teased. “Though I haf’tae hand it to ya. I really didn’t expect Sveta tae get caught up in all this. Don’t know how ya managed that, but you must’ve pulled some mystical fuckin’ bullshit on her.”

Fredrick unthinkingly blurted out:

“It was Stella’s idea, actually…”

It was at that point what he realized he just said… but once again defying his expectations, Vampir only raised an eyebrow.

“Oh aye? That fuckin’ mare…” he shook his head, though his smirk belied his alleged annoyance. “Guess she was right. Sveta needed a little ‘unwinding,’ as it were.”

Vampir took a deep gulp of his drink, wiped his mouth, then turned his attention back towards the portrait in front of them before speaking again, this time with a lot more seriousness in his words… and an uncharacteristic softness.

“Look mate… Fred. Yer a good lad—I can see that much. I’d like tae think Stella’s a big mare an’ can make the right calls about who she’s with. Even more so with Sveta in this… odd, casual circumstance.

“Somethin’ tells me that won’t be happeinin’ much,” Vampir deduced in his little digression.

Fredrick vehemently shook his head.

“Oh definitely not.”

Vampir nodded.

“Mm. Well, back tae Stella,” he began anew, righting his conversational track. “She c’n take care of herself. But, it still doesn’t keep me from worryin’ deep in the back of me mind.”

He continued staring at the portrait, and when his eyes roamed over Vona, he smiled. It was warming for Fredrick to see.

Vampir gestured with his muzzle towards the still.

“Schiavona… I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s me everythin’. She keeps me sane and grounded. I love that mare more than I love rum. She’s the light of me life.”

The stallion then turned to Fredrick, angling his entire body.

“But those little girls in that picture are me daughters. And in yer specific case, you’re Stella’s coltfriend. She gave you that title. It means more than you know. I’m not blind either. I can see how she looks at you.”

Fredrick’s attention was one-hundred percent focused on what Vampir was pouring out to him, and he wouldn’t dare interrupt at this point, despite his thoughts coalescing into something much more coherent this time around.

“Stella loves you, mate… it’s a look that’s identical tae the one Schiavona gives me every day.”

The thestral pointed at Fredrick.

“And that’s how I know she made an informed, excellent choice. And it warms me heart that she found somepony that’s worthy of such regard from her.”

Fredrick, awestruck, felt compelled to reply:

“Then that only confirms how much I love her too… and I think I’ve always have since the day I met her, if I really think on it,” he said.

“It’s just…” Fredrick couldn’t help but smile at this point. “It’s nice to hear that come from a spectator, y’know?”

Vampir nodded deeply.

“Aye. I know that feelin’ well. Again, yer a good lad, Fredrick. Whatever plans you and Stella have fer the present and the future… just, know that her mum an’ I support you both with all our hearts. Especially if yer keepin’ her as happy as she is now.”

Fredrick’s heart and confidence soared, but before he could deliver his thanks, Vampir had one last thing to add with a mite more seriousness.

“Knowin’ her, she’s probably the one runnin’ most of the show. I get it. That’s just her. But, I have one thing tae ask of you, as a father who loves his daughter very much…”

Fredrick nodded with wider eyes.

“Anything, sir…”

“Just… take care of her. Aye? Look after her. Care for her. Be there for her.

“Love her, as she does you,” Vampir concluded, poking his index finger right at Fredrick’s sternum.

With a reinvigorated, swollen pride and confidence near bursting, Fredrick beamed a determined smile and offered his right hand to Vampir.

The thestral took it immediately, and the two shared a firm grip whilst never breaking their most serious eye-contact to date.

“As long as she’ll have me… Stella will want for nothing. You have my word, Vampir.”

That, apparently, was the correct string of words for Vampir, as he only mirror Fredrick’s look and shook Fredrick’s hand.

“Very good, lad. Very good.”

He then pat Fredrick’s thigh, finished off his beer, and stood up tall with a stretch.

“Run along back tae bed when yer done. Get some sleep, mate.”

On his way out, he stopped to flash Fredrick a cheeky look.

“You’ve got two beautiful mares waitin’ up for ye.”

20. Instrument

Fredrick creased a final fold on one of his shirts he brought with him, then gently lay it atop the rest of his clothes in his suitcase.

Having topped off his packing and still somehow managing to get everything neatly organized for the return trip home, he zipped everything up properly and did a double-check around Stella’s abode to ensure all other necessities were on his person.

Vacation as a concept was tenuous. Often, people sought solace in a foreign land to escape the drabness and monotony of their life… only to return from a fulfilling vacation with a refreshed hatred of one’s standing in life.

For Fredrick, this wasn’t the case at all. In fact, as he reflected on it with a nostalgic smirk and warmth welling up in his chest, he longed to return home to some sense of normalcy. Stella’s family was one of a kind… and he couldn’t have asked for a better, more chaotic family of his better half. But if the insanity of the past week was anything to go by, Fredrick did want to get back to some more relative peace back in Canterlot.

Well… as relative as it could be with Stella at his side. This he could tolerate on a constant basis. He wasn’t so sure how much he could take being exposed to a Sabre-household family dinner for night after night after night after—

“Got everything, mate?”

A young, smooth feminine voice graced his ears, and Fredrick smirked as he stood up and turned to meet Sveta leaning against the doorframe.

Fredrick gave her a single once-over from hoof to ear-tuft, shamelessly admiring the svelte, curvy figure of the younger Sabre and just how well a simple black crew-neck t-shirt and some tight jeans did well to make her look her best.

Sveta noticed his wandering eyes and crossed both her arms under her chest to further accentuate the anatomy that the human was most reverent of—she’d have been insulted if he didn’t look.

And after what had transpired between the three of them, there was virtually no more shame, especially on the meeker Fred’s end of things, which was an accomplishment in and of itself.

“Yeah,” he replied, then set his zipped-up backpack upright.

“That’s everything.”

Sveta nodded a couple of times, and that soft smirk of hers mirrored that of Fredrick’s: slight awkwardness with an appropriate touch of nostalgia.

“Very good,” she said. “Had a good time with us over here?”

Fredrick decided to cross his arms and cock his head to the left, leveling his incredulous with a raised right eyebrow back at Sveta as his answer.

T’was an answer she was more than happy to accept.

“Good. Was fuckin’ hopin’ we didn’t scare ya away with our… antics,” she responded to his implicit sarcasm.

Fredrick loosed a few gentle chuckles.

“No worries on that… Stella tried her damndest to prepare me. But she’s also desensitized me to a lot of shit so really, there’s very little I don’t expect around her anymore. Or you all, by extension,” he added.

Sveta pointed at him with caution.

“Careful, lad… those’re some famous last words around us. Never fuckin’ fails, mate.”

Fredrick wasn’t fazed in the slightest, and merely offered a shrug as his rebut.

Sveta, however, had a few words for him… some that she was more than ready to get off her chest as she pushed off the doorframe and stepped towards the human.

“On the topic of… everythin’ that’s happened between us and, well…” she fought to jog her brain a smidge. “…you an’ Stella…”

Fredrick was all ears, and he took a seat on Stella’s bed just in case this would take a while. They had all the time in the world, especially since his marefriend had to excuse herself to have a few private moments with Vampir and Schiavona. They could take as long as they wanted for all he cared—private moments and talks with the parents were something he wished he cherished a little more before he was hurled into this dimension.

Sveta took her seat right next to him, which sagged the mattress a little more. This pressed their legs together, and neither minded the extra closeness.

Her sapphire eyes peered into Fredrick’s.

“Honestly mate… you don’t know how happy I am fer you two,” she admitted. “Stella has no idea how good she fuckin’ has it. She couldn’t have brought home a more perfect stallion to compliment her and keep her somewhat grounded at times… or all the fuckin’ time.”

She placed her hand atop Fredrick’s and smiled warmly, which earned more than its equal in reaction from Fredrick… especially at hearing those words.

“And I’m honored I got tae meet you. We all are, even if we have our weird ways of showin’ it.”

And as pride surged within his form, and as a teeth-baring smile made its way onto his face, Fredrick’s features turned devious, as he was given a perfect opportunity that he was virtually unable to pass up:

“Well… considering we fucked I sure as shit hope that’s true…”

Sveta’s eyes narrowed and she grimaced deeply.

“Oh fuck off, mate. You really are fuckin’ perfect fer that cunt, ruinin’ my fuckin’ honest feelings an’ shit fer fuck’s sake.”

Fredrick leaned back into his supporting hands with a victoriously smug expression.

“Works every time. Every Sabre.”

Sveta rolled her eyes, but her own smile never waned—she walked into that one, after all.

She leaned into Fredrick unexpectedly, which left the human the task of instantly compensating for her extra weight. Thankfully, he was able to adapt, and draped his right arm over her shoulders.

“And, well… thank you,” Sveta said.

“For what?” Fred asked.

“Fer that,” she alluded. “And fer bein’ a good lad about everything.”

Fredrick rubbed her shoulder in affirmation whilst chuckling.

“It was an… interesting roller coaster, this week. That’s for sure. Wouldn’t change anything at all though. And for the record…”

He earned Sveta’s attention, and he gazed down on her to meet her stare.

“…I’m really glad I met you, too.”

Sveta lowered her eyelids and shook her head.

“If Stella ever dumps you, I’ll fuckin’ hang her from her fuckin’ clit, mark mah fuckin’ words, aye?”

Fred was no woman nor mare, but he could not help but cringe at that very thought… and the imagery that it brought about and continued to become more grotesquely vivid in his mind was most unwelcome.

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t just so that image doesn’t come true, fuck me…”

Sveta flashed a devious smile.

“Already did, mate.”

“Okay now you can fuck off!” Fredrick replied, exasperated that he was, in fact, bamboozled this time around.

Sveta giggled evilly, but quickly launched into something more serious:

“It just fuckin' sucks sometimes…” she began anew.

“What does?” Fredrick inquired.

“Guess I’m jus a wee bit bitter…” she admitted.

“Never understood how Stella manages tae wrangle fuckin’ quality stallions all the goddamn time yet I can’t fuckin’ find some decent bloke at uni. At fuckin’ UNI fer fuck's sake!” Sveta added, exasperated.

Fredrick motioned to respond, but Sveta was quick to add more:

“Even worse!” she said pointedly. “Was that I didn’t really care up to this point… well, at least all that much. Yeah, I’m jealous of Stella. I admit it! Always have been. But then she brings you home, and you’re there tae remind me how a halfway decent stallion is supposed tae act and treat a mare! So now, I feel like I’m missing out on a lot!

“Fuck.”

Sveta blinked as she caught herself ranting about a rather intimate topic much too close to home… even more so that it really wasn’t all that invited to begin with.

She blushed and receded a bit into her posture, even as Fredrick patiently listened with nary a shred of annoyance.

“Sorry mate…” she added.

Fredrick had no offense to take, especially since he used to feel about the same with some of his more… socially inclined friends.

“Hey, no worries, it’s fine. But hey, you really wanna know how Stella and I met each other?”

Sveta pursed her lips and hung her head incredulously.

“Stella’s told me the story a hundred fuckin’ times, mate.”

Fredrick shook his head, along with his right hand emphatically.

“No no… not Stella’s version of events,” he added. “Her story is one-hundred percent correct… but she adds a lot of embellishment that makes things a tad bit more exciting than they actually were. Time tends to cloud memories a bit, too.”

Sveta prodded Fredrick in the side:

“Yer sayin’ that meeting yer marefriend wasn’t exciting?! Scandalous!”

“It was exciting in its own right,” Fredrick answered. “Remember, I was released for my first true night on my own in Equestria. Were it not for Stella, I’d probably be pretty lost socially,” he put forth.

But he had a point to make:

“What I’m trying to say though, is pretty much that. She was just… there. I happened to meet her at the right place, at the right time. Sure, she orchestrated part of it—she requested that she had a shift as close to the infirmary as she could, after all.

“But other than that, I decided to try and find my room as opposed to going outside to the courtyard for fresh air. Right place. Right time. There were no magical sparks. There was no ‘love at first sight.’ We were just there. I just got lucky. Things just happen sometimes, even if you try or… don’t.

“Just focus on yourself.” Fredrick said.

Sveta glanced away for a moment, and Fred could see the gears spinning inside her mind as she actively processed his words.

She nodded.

“I suppose you’re right…” she conceded. “I mean, it’s not like I’m a fuckin virgin or anything. Things could be worse I guess.

“And hey,” she said with a characteristic snarkiness befitting of a Sabre. “Maybe if ya went fer a stroll in the fuckin’ courtyard, you’d’ve found somepony else!”

Fredrick shrugged.

“Quite possibly!” he conceded as well.

“Fuck mate, maybe you’d’ve ended up lickin’ Lady Luna’s luscious lips,” she suggested.

Her consonance was iconic, and Fredrick had no intention of holding back his laughter.

“Heh, I highly doubt that. A dream of all stallions and mares in Equestria? Date Princess Luna? Shit off with that.”

Sveta was sent into a shrill laughter which was only interrupted by the sound of an unlatching door.

Both parties sat up straight on the bed and barely a few second later with the telltale hoofclops, Stella entered her room, garbed in her usual casual attire of assorted V-neck and short shorts.

“Alright mate…” she addressed Fredrick with a sigh. “Ya all set? Time tae get back tae reality!” she announced grandly with hands and arms outward.

And promptly followed up in her usual flair with no attempt at hiding her mirth:

“…back tae fuckin’ Canterlot in all her beautiful inhabitants with ponies with fuckin’… tungsten fuckin’ rods up their tight, sutured fuckin’ boneholes,” she added whilst twirling aimlessly on her hooves.

As someone who lived in Canterlot right alongside her, Fredrick had to agree.

He nodded with a rather passive, accepting flair.

“Yeah, pretty much. But yeah, I’m all set, babe,” he said, and he held his backpack for emphasis.

Stella nodded once.

“Good show, lad. Think it’s about time we headed out then?”

“Whenever you’re ready!”

“Righto,” she said, then waved everypony out of her room to follow her.

“Let’s do the whole 'goodbye, fuck you all, and thanks fer the fuckin' cataracts' routine,” she said as she directed everypony into the living room.

Fredrick grabbed his things and, along with Sveta, followed hot on Stella’s heels as they went into the family room. There waiting for them all were Vona and Vampir standing in the middle and ready to see the two lovebirds off.

And as Fredrick looked around at that very living room that had become so familiar to him over the last five days, he knew that these had been some of the better times in his life. All from just a few days.

And he figured he’d probably be back at some point. It was only a matter of time.

Especially when, before Fredrick could even get properly settled to give his final well-wishes, Vona squealed and threw herself at him elatedly. She wrapped both her arms around his neck with a wide, Stella-smile, and flailed her legs as Fredrick fought to suddenly support another body on his own.

“Oh Fredrick! You’ve been such a good lad! It was so nice tae finally meet you and get tae know you!” Vona squeaked, and unabashedly planted a wet kiss on Fredrick’s cheek.

The matriarch Sabre finally separated from a stunned Fredrick and regarded him with no small measure of pride on behalf of her taken daughter.

“Ya come back whenever ye want, even just fer tea, aye? Don’t need tae bring this cunt around if ya don’t want,” she added, thumbing back towards Stella who was deep in an eye-roll.

As for Fredrick, he knew it was no small compliment to have the adoration of his girlfriend’s parents, and especially her mother, who had clearly established herself as the… more dominant and overseeing one of her parents.

He returned her smile with one of his own.

“Thank you so much, Vona. And it was super awesome to meet you too!” he replied, holding her right hand in both of his for extra emphasis. “Stella’s a wonderful mare, and I couldn’t be happier that you guys feel I’m somewhat worth her time, heh…” he quipped with veiled self-depreciation.

Vona’s tone became just a tad more serious.

“Mate, she fuckin breaks up with you an’ I’ll fuckin’ kill ‘er, swear on me fuckin’ mum,” she declared.

Stella had some objection to that:

“Oi mum don’t fuckin’ swear on Nanna Cutlass!”

Vona homed in on Stella:

“I’ll fuckin’ swear on Nanna Cutlass whenever I damn well please… an’ I know fer a fact she’d line yer colon with her nails if ye lose this one!” Vona countered, referring to Fredrick with her thumb.

These familial confrontations would never get old for Fredrick. And thankfully during the ‘chaos,’ Vampir stepped forward with a prideful smirk of his own and offered his hand to the human.

Fredrick gladly reciprocated, and the two shared a hearty, less disappointing handshake this time around.

“Thanks fer comin’ up here, lad. Was a huge fuckin’ pleasure tae finally meet ye in person rather than through Stella’s letters. Knew you were perfect fer her the moment I met you.”

Fredrick matched Vampir’s smile with his own.

“Thank you for having me! And I really appreciate those words. I’ll try to make sure she doesn’t kill me too quickly then,” he quipped again, which earned a bout of chuckling from the Sabre patriarch.

“Oi laddie, if she gives ye too much trouble, feel free tae send me or her mum a note an’ we’ll straighten her arse out,” he offered cryptically.

Vona agreed wholeheartedly, and Stella threw her hands up.

“Fuck’s sake, you two… an’ I’m pretty sure one of the reasons Fred’s with me is because my arse isn’t straight, ya know,” she countered.

“Fair point!” Vona interrupted any response from Fredrick, but then pointed accusingly at Stella:

“So ye better not let that shit go saggy with age, aye?! Keep fit an’ keep clean! Keep those fuckin flaps of yers sparkling an’ smellin’ fresh. Both sets!”

Fredrick had no words, considering he was doing his absolute best to get air back into his lungs by way of wheezing laughter. Stella wasn’t exactly occupying prime real estate under the (admittedly harsh but playful) banter of both her mother and father.

Especially Vona.

But the human figured that now would be an excellent time to turn his attention to the youngest Sabre of the household, who was waiting patiently with arms crossed.

“Well…” he began. “It’s definitely been… interesting.”

A lopsided smirk from Sveta told Fred everything he needed to know.

“You’ll be back soon. I’m not exactly sure you have a choice in that matter,” she said, motioning towards her parents with the tip of her muzzle.

He was inclined to agree with that assessment.

“Yeah, I don’t think so, either. But on that…” he held his arms out invitingly with a warm smile.

“It’s been lovely. Thank you for letting me get on your nerves for a while.”

With a fangy smile of her own, Sveta eagerly wrapped her own arms around Fred’s midsection and lay her head on his shoulder whilst they embraced.

“Cheers, mate. And thank you, as I said before… fer, well… everythin’, too.”

They separated and held their gaze for just long enough before it would have been considered inappropriate.

And as he stepped away, Fred added:

“Catch ya later, alright!”

“You know it! Come back anytime, aye?”

Vona gladly seconded that:

“Aye, laddie! You bring yer arse back here whenever ya want!” she said as she took her place next to Vampir.

The latter placed an arm around her shoulder and held her close—his silent addition to the chorus in the form of a deep, single nod closed out anything else he had to say.

And with that, Stella grabbed Fredrick’s hand and led him towards the front door.

“Alright everypony… I’ll be back soon! Love you all!” she called behind her whilst opening the door to the foggy, outside world.

Her goodbye was met with a swift rebuttal from Sveta:

“We don’t give a fuck about you, slag! Just bring Fredrick back!”

“Goodbye again, love! See you soon!” Vona called with a blown kiss towards her eldest daughter.

Vampir saluted.

“Stay safe, dear.”

“Bye everyone!” Fredrick waved one last time, but Stella quickly shut the door behind them.

Their Thestralshire trip had come to an end.

[Canterlot | Later that Friday Evening…]

“Fuck me, it’s like the ride home gets longer every fuckin’ time, mate…” Stella grumbled.

The odd couple made the final, tired leagues of their journey home as they walked straight up to the castle entrance.

Fredrick was more impartial to the ride, just happy that he was able to catch up on some sleep that he didn’t necessarily stock up on during the trip.

“Ehh, could’ve been worse all things considered.”

Stella’s grumbling under her breath continued, and when the human drew his eyes over her, her slackened posture and half-lidded eyes were the telltale hallmark of a mare who was mentally exhausted. All she really wanted to do was probably pass out, and that would’ve been completely okay in his book as well.

“Nyah… fuggoff, love,” she barely directed with barely any effort.

Fredrick chuckled playfully and pulled Stella into him by way of his hand on her waist, and despite her grumbling and less-than-veiled demands for sleep, she accepted the gesture earnestly. She leaned her body into his and lay her head against him.

“Better?” Fredrick dared to ask with his trademark snark.

Stella sighed blissfully in his hold and made sure to angle her arms properly so she could lean on him more comfortably. If he was volunteering himself, he could carry her back to barracks for all she cared.

“Shaddup. Love you.”

With a bright smile, Fredrick kissed Stella’s cheek once.

“Love you too, babe.”

The two made their way up to the castle entrance and were greeted by two batpony Lunar guards at either side, who imposingly stepped forward to meet the duo.

“Evening. And…” the right one greeted, but upon squinting his magenta eyes and instantly recognizing Fredrick and one of their lieutenants, his tune changed.

“Oh. Mister Himmelreich and Lieutenant Sabre. Go right in.”

He nodded to his comrade and the two stood aside.

“Cheers lads,” Stella greeted as they walked past, and Fredrick flashed them both a smirk of appreciation.

“Thanks guys. Have a good evening and shift!”

“Hey thanks!”

“See you around!”

Fred and Stella went on their way, starting on the simple journey back towards either the barracks or the human’s room that they had travelled literally hundreds of times.

“You wanna head to bed at your barracks or you wanna sleep over?” Fred asked, still holding Stella close to him via her waist. “Up to you—whatever’s easiest for you.”

An answer wasn’t so forthcoming, namely because Stella had not thought that far ahead once they got settled on the train ride home.

“Ummm…” she began, but her train of thought was interrupted when—out from a capillary hall—stepped what looked like a much taller guard.

And upon closer inspection as the newcomer walked with a purposeful sashay in front of the duo, Stella was struck with familiarity. Fredrick had no idea who the mocha-brown coated, platinum blonde maned/tailed, brilliantly green-eyed, surprisingly-taller-than-him, guardsmare was.

Her armor wasn’t any scheme that Fredrick had recognized, Solar nor Lunar.

Regardless, as more of her form was revealed by distance and moonlight, Fredrick was once again treated to one of Equestria’s many natural beauties.

Great looooooooord above…

“Helloooo~ you two cute, little lovebirds,” came the newcomer’s greeting in an alluring, sultry accent that flowed over one’s ears like the loveliest of waterfalls in Equestria.

Fredrick’s ear dictated that she sounded quite Slavic. Or perhaps somewhere else in the Balkans? He was terrible with accents from the area.

And little was right… compared to this mare that was clearly over six feet tall, she had a couple inches on Fredrick easily.

Stella was the most appropriate one of the party to return that greeting.

“Midnight fuckin’ Song…” she replied and stepped forward.

The two slapped and secured their hands together in a fierce, familiar shake, and then shared a quick hug.

Midnight, however, slipped her hand low and grabbed a handful of Stella’s ass, much to Fredrick’s abject shock.

“OI!” Stella protested, batting her hand away and separating. “Hands off, cunt! Security clearance only!”

That remark, and reaction, sent Midnight into a giggle fit.

“The perfect balance of firm and squishy… I couldn’t resist!”

“Aye yer goddamn right—but you’ll lose a fuckin’ finger next time,” Stella threatened with little veiling in her jesting.

Midnight beamed excitedly.

“I know exactly where I’d love to lose one…”

“Oh fuck right off, Midnight,” Stella protested, then rolled her eyes before nudging midnight forward towards Fredrick with a rather cute ‘oof!’ on the taller mare’s part.

“Meet me coltfriend—Fredrick Himmelreich. One of top five sexiest stallions on the street—depending on the street,” Stella introduced in her usual pride and flair.

“Hi Midnight!” Fred stepped forward into the moonlight that peaked through the archway and shook the larger mare’s hand. “Pleasure to meet ya! How’s it going?”

Midnight allowed her hand to fall limp in Fredrick’s grasp, almost submissively as her features devolved from bright to sultry.

“Oh believe me, cutie… the pleasure is and would be aaaall mine~,” she said with an impish, coy, fangy smile.

And just like that Fredrick felt way out of his league and comfort zone. Thankfully though, Stella came to the rescue and severed both of their hands abruptly with a single, upward swipe.

“Aye and ye fuckin’ won’t, ya Romaneian cocksleeve,” she uttered almost defensively.

Once again, the giggly Midnight was launched into another laugh-fit.

“Oh you’re no fun, Stella, really… Sometimes I think you really need to get that diamond stick outta that tight, perfect little bum of yours…”

Midnight motioned towards a rather impressively stunned Fredrick.

“And if he doesn’t do it for ya, I have a few ideas~…” she so lewdly suggested.

Stella groaned and ran both her hands down her face. She just wanted to sleep. She could dish and take sexual harassment at a later date. Besides, she got exactly what she needed from the much taller thestral in front of her out of this allegedly random meeting.

But still, what fun was there in not playing it off?

“Psh… Nah mate, Fredrick has plenty enough fer me. And I usually want a diamond hard rod of some sorts deep in me,” she countered whilst wrangling Fredrick closer to her under her arm.

Her sudden strength forced some measure of a choking yelp out of him.

For the human, there was just something erotic about being ‘wrangled’ by a slim, muscular mare who what nothing but adoration for you. He still sometimes didn’t know what he did to deserve this.

Midnight smiled sultrily.

“Well it sure sounds like he can provide. Almost makes me want to ask for a free sample…” she quipped.

Stella—with very little veiling of her attitude on that matter—quietly pushed Fredrick behind her.

“Hidden treasure’s fer me eyes only. It’s sacred—may melt yer fuckin’ face off if yer not worthy when ya see it. And if it doesn’t, I’d make yer face slough off…”

Midnight busted out in jovial, contagious laughter.

“You slay me, Stella, really, you cute little fluffy ball of hate,” Midnight added in a cutesy tone, bending at her knees and squeezing one of Stella’s cheeks.

“But I’ll let you two get on with it. I’m heading to bed anyways, so, have a goodnight you two!” she waved ever-so-sensually brushed against Fredrick’s arm as she walked past in the other direction. Her tail curled around Fred’s leg uncomfortably so as she disappeared into the shadows.

…well then. That was a thing.

Stella turned to Fredrick, but the human was keen on voicing a few of his observations in that exchange:

“Never seen somepony jokingly touch you like that without getting their genitals ripped off…”

She shrugged and acknowledged the anomaly with a rather simple explanation:

“Put it this way, love. If I ever got into a fight with her, she would be the only pony where we would both be going to the hospital with fifty stab wounds each…”

But she decided to address the other issue that just came to light… one that came about as Stella noticed around them, that there was a distinct lack of familiar guards.

In fact, there were no guards at all where there should have been one.

She just had to make sure she wasn’t crazy before she blew an O-ring.

“Fred… today’s Friday, right? Like, I’m not fuckin’ that insane, right?” she asked as she continued to look around and over her shoulder.

Fredrick raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s definitely Friday. Whatsup? You look… unsettled.”

‘Unsettled’ was a rather interesting way of expressing ‘ever expanding fury,’ in Stella’s mind.

“Aye! Fuckin’ Fortnight’s supposed tae be fuckin’ be on post here right fuckin’ now,” she seethed.

Fredrick knew that tone well… Stella had gone off on ponies before and it was often a work of art in his opinion. When it came to matters of the Guard, it was a different type of furor entirely.

Stella was legitimately pissed now in a matter of about ten seconds.

“Uh oh… subordinate of yours?”

Stella ground her teeth together.

“Aye… and apparently a massive fuckin’ bellend tae boot. Oi fuckin’… I honestly can’t believe that somepony in my platoon…” Stella ranted and paced.

Fredrick could only watch in pity for the poor sod that was about to be on the receiving end.

“…would fuck me and his unit. And I know where the fuck he is… Fuckin’ COCKWOMBLE!” she shouted her final word, which made Fredrick jump a millimeter in his shoes.

Stella stopped for a moment, took a deep breath, then exhaled out.

She turned to Fredrick almost pleadingly:

“Love, mind if I sleep in yer room tonight? Need tae… take care of some ‘administrative work’ first though. Wait up fer me?” she asked.

Fred, naturally, had great difficulty saying ‘no’ to that face in particular… one that never failed to make him smile and release an inward sqee of cuteness.

“Sure thing, babe! See you a little later?”

Stella got to her tippy-hooves and planted a wet kiss on Fredrick’s lips. His favorite kind of kiss.

“Mwah! You know it!”

And with that, the two of them went their separate ways, with Fredrick departing down the hall and disappearing into the shadows of the night, ready for Stella to return to him whenever she would.

Stella watched her coltfriend go, and, with a happy sigh that welled up from within her, she exhaled blissfully and made her way towards the castle tavern—the preferred hangout spot of the Royal Guard and other visiting military.

But before she allowed herself to put on her ‘bollocking’ face, she placed her hand right on her asscheek—where Midnight had grabbed her, and felt the presence of exactly what she was looking and hoping for:

Through her back pocket, she could feel the cylindrical presence of a small vial… and upon retrieval with her left hand, she locked her golden eyes to said vial that resembled a large perfume-sample. However, instead of an elixir that would be rudely sprayed in one’s face at a department store, there was instead a finely-ground up, cyan powder…

…well, once Stella unwrapped the paper that was enshrining her prize that is. Said paper happened to be a note from the ‘dealer’ herself, which the thestral promptly read:

This should be enough for one prank.

Split the vial’s contents in two and consume in two separate glasses of water two hours apart for the desired effect. Effects will manifest after approximately eight to ten hours, and I recommend going to bed with him so you wake up with it.

Use it wisely… even though I know you won’t.

Don’t disappoint me ;)

~Lu

With the blessing of her Princess and knowing now was the time to draw up plans for the prank itself, Stella’s mood was lightened considerably, even as she stomped towards the tavern with a purpose.

[Castle Tavern | A Few Minutes Later…]

Those who resided in the castle could not always leave to enjoy time off, or just enjoy the night.

This was usually the case with the stationed military, and as a result, the Princesses had the castle’s massive tavern—oddly named The Porcelain Throne—installed.

That was a long time ago, as well, so naturally, being able to eat and drink at and establishment that old was an achievement for anypony who lived outside of the Castle grounds. For somepony like Stella and her guard kin, it was just more convenient place to get plastered after shifts, or during time off.

There were certainly wonderful times to be had in a place that held way too many questionable memories to be considered healthy nostalgia. But for a certain thestral lieutenant, her first concern was dragging one of her own out of there.

Stella stood rigid in front of the main entrance to the Porcelain Throne, which was a simple, unassuming wooden door that looked too old to be in as good of condition as it was. The muffled, yet inferably loud ‘bar sounds’ could be heard from within.

Her first thought was to boot the door open and wrangle her troops out for daring to allow somepony to shirk on their duties.

Her raised hoof—knee to her chest—and a soundless snarl that could murder was a testament to how close this course of action was to being realized.

However, better judgment prevailed, and she lowered her hoof to the ground. Instead, she stroked her lower lip in thought before reaching towards the latch handle, quietly creaking it open, and stealthily sneaking inside amongst all the sudden noise onset.

Drinks were clinked together and consumed. Bellowing masculine and feminine laughter, chatter, and expletives were constants, and wooden chairs and tables were shuffled and slammed in every direction and manner. This perfect cover was all Stella needed to close the entrance door behind her and prowl for her target.

Her thoughts were even in ‘predator mode.’

Mission start. Locating cunt…

There were easily a hundred or so ponies all scattered about the giant drinking hall, from Solar and Lunar guards, to foreign nationals, to the standard civilians.

However, when Stella was given command of her platoon, she memorized everypony’s name and face, to make sure that she saw them as ponies rather than just as numbers. But conversely that also meant that she knew how to pick any of them out of a crowd for either disciplinary action or merit.

And after a couple tense minutes of sneaking around and keeping a low profile, she found exactly the group she hoped to find: six of her Lunar soldiers, two still armored and the rest in casual clothes. The latter were off duty, and two looked to be socializing before duty—that she knew.

However, one of the casually-garbed batpony stallions did not belong to the ‘off duty’ party.

Cunt located.

Stella righted her hunched posture and stood tall, now not attempting to hide herself. She casually approached the group who were in the midst of a rather intense card game, if the consistent yelling, drinks spilling over, and banging on the table for encouragement was anything to go by.

And right before she entered the group like a shark on an attack run towards its prey, the entire group busted out in cheers and jeers as—it seemed—Fortnight had won the pot.

The offending stallion in Stella’s eyes—one whose emerald mane and identically colored eyes contrasted heavily with his midnight-grey coat—scooped his arms around his winnings.

“You fuckin’ asshole!” jeered one of his comrades who knocked him upside the head.

Fortnight wasn’t deterred, however.

“Hey, don’t worry so much…” the clearly drunk, lightly-slurring guard said.

“Always next time! Now, who’s in for round seven?”

Stella’s face adopted an evilly mischievous complexion as the moment to strike had been presented to her on a silver platter.

She reached into her other back pocket, retrieved her wallet, and pulled out a five-bit note.

She suddenly tossed it in the center before announcing:

“Me! Deal me in!”

However, her iconic drawl drew the entire energy out of the group, and the chatter came to a grinding halt as everypony nearly jumped at Stella’s ghostly entrance.

The drunk Fortnight in Stella’s crosshairs appeared to leak pigmentation out of his dick by the liter. One could probably mistake him for a rank-and-file Solar soldier by now.

Stella placed her hands on her hips once she commanded the attention of her ponies:

“Yer a first-class cunt. You know that, Fortnight?”

His jaw would move, but his mouth refused to make any noise as his eyes flicked from side to side.

“Got nothin’ tae fuckin’ say? Huh?” Stella gradually let her irritation show, having placed both of her hands on the tabletop.

A collective scooch back from the table was taken by the rest of the group.

She gestured to the rest of them.

“Just tae bring everypony up tae speed. Yes. I’m back. Second… did any of ya know that this first-rate, garden-variety fuckin’ bellend is supposed tae be at his fuckin’ post tonight?!”

“Wait… what?!” one of the other thestral mares piped up in objection, all her ire aimed at Fortnight.

“You said you were cleared from your post tonight! Are you fucking serious?!”

He flinched, as if struck.

“I didn’t… I mean, what I meant was that I wasn’t…”

Stella cut him off by slamming her fist into the table.

“You shut the fuck up, you fuckin’ drunk, inflatable fuckin’ minge.”

She snarled and jutted an index finger directly in a sweating Fortnight’s face:

“Another fuckin’ breath outta you and I’ll break both yer wings and toss ye off the fuckin’ mountain, you twat!” she roared, then addressed the rest of the group.

“I’ll rephrase me previous question: who the fuck knew Fortshite ‘ere was fuckin’ AWOL from his post?”

Everypony looked around at each other, and the only one to raise their hand was the first quiet mare that had expressed her disbelief first. Stella already knew she was telling the truth—Vortex was a reliable guard, and the Lieutenant did not regard her with much concern.

The rest, however, she had some measure of doubt. Especially now.

“Oh… no one else brave enough tae come forward? Alright you treacherous fuckwits. Lemme rephrase again…” she looked straight down upon her frightened troop.

“Anypony who knew that yer shithead comrade here was essentially deserting—and I find out about it—will have their rank stripped and be booted back tae private in the fuckin’ army!”

Fortnight’s drunkenness decided to speak for him:

“Lieutenant Sabre I just wanna say that—”

A metallic creaking could almost be heard from how stiffly an enraged Stella turned back to the object of her fury. Her eyes glinted pure hellfire.

“If you don’t shut yer fuckin’ mouth right now I will literally beat the shit outta you and charge ye with fuckin’ dereliction-four!” she yelled, and the emphasis on her last words and their intensity made quite a few attendees jump in their seats.

At those previous mentions, another Lunar guard—in uniform—raised his hand.

“Ma’am, I’d like to note that I had my suspicions about his story and I was going to report it—”

His words stopped the moment Stella’s golden pools of fury affixed onto his now-terrified, wide orange eyes.

“Oh… you… were going to, Nexus?” she emphasized his verbiage with an uncharacteristic innocence.

He nodded.

“Y-Yes…?”

Stella entire complexion deadpanned.

“So. You were going to. But ya fuckin’ didn’t. Congratu-fuckin’-lations ya fuckin’ dick. What, ya expectin’ a fuckin’ blowjob or something?” she queried in disbelief.

Nexus glanced at his comrades for any form of saving grace, but their support was fleeting and nonmaterial, only there to share his terrified look in the face of an unanswerable question, or a facepalm at how retarded he actually was.

“Umm…”

“ANSWER THE FUCKIN’ QUESTION!” Stella roared, startling everypony else in the tavern with her focused voice that they swore came from Princess Luna herself.

“DO YA WANT A FUCKIN’ BLOWEY JOEY FER YER FUCKIN’ SHITE EFFORTS!?”

Nexus tentatively put forth a response since it was officially expected of him:

“Ummm… n-no?”

“Well ya wouldn’t have gotten one anyway, ya snivelling fuckin’ tosser!” Stella riposted.

She then addressed her entire troop present:

“And lemme tell ye lot something! I don’t fuckin’ give ‘blowjobs.’ I give fuckin’ ‘blowcareers!’” she announced, then swung her index finger in front of everypony:

“And you fuckin’ lot—you’d all need tae fuckin’ go back tae fuckin’ basic, get a couple of unpaid fuckin’ internships, and get yer own experience at suckin’ dick before ya can even have the fuckin’ privilege tae lie on yer CVs and get a fuckin’ part-time job in the fuckin’ janitorial department of me fuckin’ fellatio factory, ya retarded fucks!” she loosed her tirade.

And she looked directly back at Nexus.

“Should be easy fer you tae get dick-suckin’ experience, lad. You were in the fuckin’ Royal Marines.”

Stella pivoted back to Fortnight.

“And as fer you ya derelict fuckin’ dickhead. Zero pay for three months. Yer runnin’ The Gauntlet every fuckin’ day fer the next two weeks, and you get an extra two hours of PT every session.” she listed out his punishment.

She then leaned into his face with a dark expression draping her face:

“And if ya fuck me again, and fuck yer platoon again, I’ll castrate you with a fuckin’ rusty sword. And feed yer bollocks tae fuckin’ timberwolves.”

But Stella suddenly had an epiphany, and her eyes lit up and her ears perked accordingly.

“Oh, and everypony…” she addressed her troop. “The entire platoon gets PT fer his fuckup. Also, pass the word on—any shift the platoon would like off fer when ya use leave over the next six months… I’m sure Fortnight here would love tae take it off yer hands! Especially the patrol shifts.”

Stella glanced at Fortnight:

“Isn’t that right?”

Fortnight was completely and utterly defeated, and he didn’t even look at anypony else when he delivered his reluctant response:

“Yes, Ma’am…”

Stella stood up straight and continued to regard Fortnight with the utmost contempt.

But in her final act of punishment on him, she called upon Vortex:

“Vortex?”

She shot to attention.

“Yes Ma’am?”

“I would like you to go over tae Fortnight and deck him in the face as hard as you fuckin’ can. You can refuse this order, but I’ll comp you the night if you comply…”

Fortnight was suddenly quite sober… especially when Vortex smiled sadistically.

“Gladly!” she said with a girly high-pitch and moved from her chair, cracked her knuckles of her right hand, and advanced on her comrade.

“Vortex… please don’t do this…” Fortnight pleaded as he felt he was staring down death. He scooted back to little effect.

Vortex wouldn’t have any of it:

“Sorry… this is for lying to us and getting us in fucking trouble, fuckface,” she stated.

And then she delivered—in Stella’s intellectual opinion—one of the most perfect uppercuts she had ever seen in her entire life. Vortex’s fist slammed under Fortnight’s chin and slugged him into the magical dimension. The sound of her knuckle colliding with chin echoed throughout the tavern and the night.

Fortnight was sent backwards with his chair and was out cold and snoring once he hit the ground.

The vicarious groans could be heard for miles from any who witnessed the spectacle.

And with that, Stella was finished.

“Let this be a lesson tae everypony here. Pass on the word. Now get Fortnight back tae barracks. Dismissed.

“And well done, Vortex.”

“Serves him right.”

[Fredrick’s Room | A Few Months Later]

As a consequence for having to deal with one of her soldiers deserting their post, Stella had to deal with some fallout and report to Princess Luna what had happened, and what she was doing to remedy the situation. Of course, there were some choice details that were left out of that reporting, but likely for the better.

The whole situation was rectified in Her Majesty’s eyes, and performance and morale were back to normal.

One of the worse consequences of this, in Stella’s opinion, was that she was not able to action her plan of prank retaliation on Fredrick for some time. This was also due to some performance kinks that she needed to work out in her unit, as well as a new recruiting drive that inducted more questionably capable candidates into the ranks, which added a few more bodies to Stella's platoon.

Thankfully after things had settled down over the course of a few months, the time to strike had finally arrived.

She and Fredrick had not had a proper good date night—or really any night to just hang out—due to Stella’s guard problems other than meeting for a quick meal or some drinks, or even a quickie. So once things had finally freed up materially, the two happily organized something simple up in Fredrick’s room.

This entailed a throwback to how they as an item started: terrible movies, artery-clogging food, and a requisite amount of alcohol to wash it all down.

The only difference was that sex also happened. Lots and lots of sex, as a matter of fact.

And with how annoyingly stressful the last couple months had been for Stella, the pent-up stress that she took out on Fredrick was nothing short of spectacular for both parties involved.

The movie on the magical projector played softly throughout the background as merely white noise, as neither Fredrick nor Stella were paying any attention to it anymore. The drinks had been more than a smidge disturbed and the food had been consumed quite early in the evening.

Fredrick’s bed was a mess of crumpled sheets and a comforter with a concerning amount of fresh stains from a questionable probability of different sources. The balcony door was wide open to let in some of the air from the cool evening and further wind them down.

Barely a few minutes ago, Fredrick had finished his last thrusts into his marefriend and after multiple rounds filled with expletives and expressions of ecstasy from both parties involved, Fredrick had finally been completely spent.

As for Stella, she lay on her back, completely nude atop of Fredrick’s unquestionably ruined covers. The air from outside wafted over her still steaming body and served to cool the tips of her coat pleasurably, as well as help to extinguish what remained of the fire between her legs. Her golden pools stared through the high ceiling and regarded the world with indifference as naught but pure satisfaction coursed through every vessel in her tight, fit body.

Fredrick lay beside her, also nude, and felt he was one with the universe now. After the first couple of rounds he had to actually conscript his dick back into the service to continue plundering the untenable quagmire of the Vietnam that was Stella’s vagina.

Regrettably, he did have to pull out eventually despite pounding her back into the iron age.

Such was his noble quest to prevent the spread of Communism in Stella’s vertical smile. For he and only he could have her panty hamster.

And then Fredrick proceeded to seriously question his thought process on exactly why he felt the need to think of things in that exact manner, but goddamn it was hilarious to him.

The human angled his head towards his marefriend with a fatigued, proud smile. Their hands were still dutifully connected, fingers intertwined.

“Heh… you alright over there? Finally had your fill?” he dared to ask, though he knew he had taken a big risk.

Had he given any indication to the insatiable creature that he had the slightest inkling of being able to go another round, she would probably have taken him up on it.

Here we possibly go again, boner!

Oh god Fred please no…

However, the internal conflict in the form of a dick coup d’état withered away once Stella—through a deep breath—conveyed with one of the dopiest smiles that Fredrick loved seeing:

“Aye… I think I’m good fer now, love…” she said, looking back at him and locking her eyes with his

Eyes that radiated so profoundly for him.

So much so that Fred felt that those damn stomach butterflies might as well start paying rent, because they sure as hell were never going to go away if she kept looking at him like that.

Stella squeezed his hand harder and emphasized their connection with a shake. She gave him a lopsided smirk with one of her fangs dipping below her upper lip. In Fredrick’s perspective, at that moment, Stella’s look changed… something deep within her eyes amplified how he felt for her. If this were a cartoon, he figured that this would be the part where her pupils were replaced by beating hearts.

That intense. And he had no ability to stop himself from smiling so wanting-ly at her.

She did have one thing to add:

“I love you. Thank you fer that, by the way… god I fuckin’ needed that. Just was hoping I wouldn’t maim ye…” she voiced with an ending chuckle.

Fredrick took Stella’s hand and lead it to his mouth, where he kissed the top. Oddly for her, such a simple gesture brought out some extra blush from her than what was afforded already by the now-concluded, steamy love-making session.

“I love you too, Stella… hope you always know that,” he added.

Much to a playful eyeroll from Stella in response.

“Fuckin’ hell, yer fuckin’ too much sometimes. Can ya go five whole minutes without bein’ so goddamn sappy?” she protested, though with little in the way of zeal behind her words.

“You love every second of it,” Fredrick so pointedly countered, and his expression never changed. These protests of hers were consistent.

Stella pursed her lips and nodded. But inside, she was grinning evilly, for her mental clock had passed the point of zero hour of her operation.

“Oh yeah… that’s totally me, just lickin’ up yer sap like I lick up yer cum after vacuum-cleaning yer weird-shaped skin rifle,” she deadpanned, but then promptly bounded up from the bed to her hooves.

As was customary by now, she had little need to cover herself as she strutted to the bathroom.

She glanced over her shoulder back at Fredrick, whom she knew was getting a nice eye-full of her ass that jiggled with every spry step she took.

“I’mma get some water and rinse me face, you want some?” she asked nonchalantly.

Part of her plan going swimmingly was that Fredrick was not supposed to know what was to transpire. She had to keep him in the dark as much as possible much like he did when he pranked her with the Poison Joke.

It was his turn to feel the wrath… though this time, of a certain Potion 63.

However, that question elicited an eyebrow that raised and broke through the ceiling with how hard Fredrick was questioning her internally.

“Wait… did you say you were gonna go drink water?” he asked in utter disbelief. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you hydrate once since I’ve known you,” he noted, jogging his memory for any recollection that would prove him wrong.

Stella suppressed any of her fears—she could lie her way out of anything… usually.

“Ye think I fuckin’ run around and don’t have water? Lad, I fuckin’ gulp down about a gallon and a half a day! If anything, you should drink more ya dehydrated piss sack,” she shot back in one of the greatest ‘no u’ reversals in history.

From her perspective, it seemed Fredrick bought the ruse.

“Honestly, I always thought you survived on regular injections of Sapphire Cream Cutie,” the human replied snarkily, though there wasn’t even a shred of sarcasm in his words.

“Well yeah… why else would I need so much water? Blood would be fuckin’ hundred-proof,” Stella responded as she disappeared into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her but was careful not to shut it all the way to avoid rousing any more suspicion.

She lifted the faucet handle and began running the water, and all the while, she dug through her shorts that she had discarded earlier during the night. Within her back pocket she had stowed away the vial that held all her hopes and dreams of the next day or so.

Stella held it in her palm and turned it within her fingers, noting how the light glinted off both the glass and the finely ground Potion 63 within. The cyan blue almost looked appetizing, like a hard candy she would frequent at the store… but the seasoned mare knew better than that—her consumption of this was not for taste.

But for hilarity.

A fangy, evil smirk crossed her features again as she untwisted the teeny cap with her fingers and tossed it over her shoulder. Then, it was a simple as filling a single scotch glass with water from under the running faucet.

Righto… one glass. Let’s go half the potion…

Per Princess Luna’s instructions, Stella carefully portioned the potion to the grain with the precision of a biochemist. She leaned in close and squinted those predatorial eyes whilst pinching her tongue between her lips to make sure that it was just exactly half.

The cyan powder collected within the crystal-clear water and pooled into an identically colored globule at its center. A quick swirl on Stella’s part and the water was once again, clear as perfect glass.

Stella took a deep breath and straightened her naked form.

Welp, down the hatch!

After another swirl for good luck, she internally said a traditional batpony cheers, and dumped the glasses contents down her gullet.

It tasted exactly like water—she wished some of her favorite alcohol went down like water, that was for sure.

Alright… now for the second dose.

She repeated her previous steps and after fifteen seconds of careful preparation, a second glass of water was sent straight to her stomach.

Hail hydrate.

And with that, the ritual had been completed, and Stella’s plans had been set in motion. The thestral took an extra, celebratory ‘shot’ of water, then retrieved a new glass. She filled it up appropriately and strolled back out into the cool room with an extra giddiness in her step.

“Alright, water fer you, Fred!” she announced, striking a fierce, naked pose in the middle of the room.

“And let’s fuck off tae sleep fer the night. I think I’m gonna collapse from nearly being fucked stupid, love.”

“Sounds good, babe. Let’s hit the hay then—now get over here!”

Author's Note

Creative exodus from my brain finally fucked off.

Oh god Part 21 is gonna be fuckin' lit :rainbowlaugh:

And thanks a ton to Ausbrony for letting me borrow his OC Midnight Song!!

21. A Man, His Mare, and Her Schlong

Author's Note

It's finally done, a day early! And guess what? Ya boi's already started on the next part. Back to some good-old shenanigans.

21. A Man, His Mare, and Her Schlong

[A Couple Months Prior…]

When Stella was promoted to Lieutenant, it came with a certain set of benefits to go with the commission.

One of these benefits happened to be an office that one could find in the Officer’s Wing of the Lunar Barracks within Canterlot Castle—one that had her name engraved in a steel plate attached to the door. Stella never made much use of it, aside from storing a few things that she didn’t have any space for by her bunk. Also, it was an occasional sanctuary to sneak Fredrick to for a midday quickie when things were really testing her patience…

…or have a drink.

And per usual, it also served as a quiet space to have chats and sort out disputes between any who fell under her command.

Much like how she found herself now.

As an armored-up Stella sat in her chair—her head lazily supported in her right hand—she deadpanned as she watched two of her Sergeants bickering like little children across her desk.

She drew figure eights idly on her desk with the fingers of her free hand as her subordinates continued to run their mouths at each other with her as their unwilling witness. Stella chewed the inside of her lower lip and she fought with the most minimal effort she could provide to remember what this whole feud was about. But she was drawing a blank—the last thing memorable the two said to her was something along the lines of ‘mishandled equipment’ and ‘squads almost coming to a brawl.’

Stella sighed. Yeah, she’d just go with that.

Her golden eyes flicked from side to side between the two of them—it wasn’t the fact that these apparent problems existed, that gave her eczema. These were pretty significant.

What Stella found annoying to absolutely no end was that these two were wasting her time figuring out something she would’ve gotten to the bottom of in half an hour.

For all the other things she had to attend to as a Lieutenant, this should have been low on her priorities.

And as her subordinates’ bickering became even louder, Stella had finally had enough. She rolled her eyes and sat up straight.

“Alright now… ALRIGHT! FUCKIN’ SHUT UP YOU DUMB CUNTS!” she yelled aggressively (with Stella-esque hand gesticulation to boot) above the both of them, which silenced both mare and stallion in front of her.

Stella cleared her throat, softened her complexion, and folded her hands atop her desk. She then leaned forward and spoke in a much more level tone of voice with no attempt to veil her sarcasm:

“Well… after listening very closely to yer well-thought out arguments, it looks like we’re at a wee bit of an impasse…” she said.

She gestured one open palm to each of them, and continued with no veiling of contempt in her words:

“Ultimately, how I would’ve addressed this, would have been to fix this shit m’self and not bother me fuckin’ superior officer about bullshit that doesn’t fuckin’ warrant their shitting time!”

Both batpony sergeants—a gray-coated stallion and copper-coated mare—immediately launched into an intelligible tirade against each other, complete with literal finger pointing. Stella flared her nostrils and slammed her balled up right fist against the table, which quickly garnered silence and attention once more.

She was over this.

“Open yer fuckin’ cumholes again—either of you—and I’ll staple yer dick, and yer clit to mah fuckin’ desk!

“Fuck’s sake, lads, you lot right now are the fuckin’ guard equivalent of store-brand vodka in a plastic goddamn handle… why is it always fuckin’ one of yous’?!”

Both attempted to answer at the same time, but Stella silenced both of them before they could say a single word:

“COCK. AND. CLIT.”

They sat back down amicably.

Stella took another deep breath and reclined back in her chair as she exhaled. She pressed her fingers together in a pyramid in front of her face before taking the reins of conversation back:

“Well. Obviously one of ye’s at fault fer this shitload’a fuck. And nopony can seem tae own their cock-up. So clearly, I need tae decide how to approach this mess of… whatever the fuck you were babblin’ about earlier.”

Stella gestured open-palmed to both her subordinates and spoke her next words with unflinching matter-of-factness:

“You see, lads… what’s really chappin’ me fud right now is the fact that normally, in these trying circumstances, I’d just resort to good old-fashioned favoritism…”

Stella shrugged, shook her head, and then pursed her lips, unimpressed.

“But the problem with that, is I don’t fuckin’ like either one of ye.”

She paused for a brief moment to observe them for a moment, and all they did was shoot each other a mutual, concerned, questioning gaze before turning back to face Stella.

She clapped her hands together and leaned forward again in her chair, then planted both of her elbows onto her desk.

“SO! Seems like me only true option then—since you two limp-wristed wanks can’t fuckin deal with trivial shit on yer own—is tae just sack you both and fold your troops under the much more competent Sergeant Trigger, aye?

“Then I fuck off outta here, hit the porcelain throne fer a shit, hit the actual Porcelain Throne fer a pint, and wait fer this whole thing tae blow over.”

Both her NCO’s were about to erupt in protest before a string of knocks at Stella’s creaked-open office door drew everypony’s attention away from the matter at hand.

“Oh ummm… excuse me, Lieutenant Sabre, Ma’am?” came the deep, tentative voice of one of the newer recruits who was placed on sentry duty.

Stella smirked at recognizing Private Bloodline’s voice, as well as seeing his deep turquoise eyes and almost-black-as-night coat peek into her office—he was one of the few of the more recent, larger influx of recruits who were showing any sort of potential. He had been taking to his job well, and the mare saw him going far in the Guard if he stuck to it.

She waved him in fully.

“Aye, Private? Can I help you with something?”

Stella saw him crack open the door more before seemingly waving somepony in:

“Mister Himmelreich requests your audience, Ma’am.”

Stella’s ears perked up the moment Fred’s last name left Bloodline’s mouth, and she had absolutely no control over the brightest, fangy smile that sculpted its way across her face once she saw her well done-up man—in his favorite, teal button-up shirt and charcoal gray suit jacket with slacks—step in. Her core lightened considerably, and she sighed out almost heavenly so…

Stella did not notice in the slightest the faces of her NCOs recoil with great disconcertion at her abrupt change in mood.

She hadn’t seen him in almost two weeks—unheard of in their relationship so far but these new recruits, and clearly some of her own officers, needed much of her attention over the last couple of months. Every time she had to postpone their outings or ‘relationship time’ together—though she would never show it outwardly—she always felt like a right flaccid dick. It didn’t help that Fredrick was an absolute sweetheart and way too supportive and understanding for his own damn good.

As for Fredrick, he as well had little control over the smile on his face once Bloodline announced his entrance into Stella’s official abode. And seeing that damned mare’s face light up once he strode in was the perfect amount of icing to an already perfectly baked, moist cake of smugness.

He was finally able to pull off a surprise drop-in after all this time. He was damned proud of himself, especially as he moved his hand from behind his back to reveal a rather large bottle of Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie.

It was certainly something seeing a fully-armored Stella begin bouncing in her chair like a goddamn filly.

And in witnessing that, he figured it was time to speak up:

“Hey Stella! Been a hot minute! Was hoping to catch you at a free moment but ummm…” he began, but that’s when he realized that there were two other ponies in the room, and a quick glance over his shoulder revealed that Bloodline had quietly made his exit.

Stella was quick to stand up and shake her head, as well as her outstretched hands for extra emphasis:

“No! No not at all, love! In fact, these dipshits were just leaving…” she so plainly and mirthfully said, not bothering with any sort of veil.

“…and I was just telling them that if they fucked off right now, I won’t have them sacked, nor dissect them with the rusty sword,” Stella further added through gritted teeth and a less-than-attractive, aggressive wink to both of her Non-Coms.

Fredrick watched the two now-unwelcome soldiers take a quick look at one another, then promptly stand up, deliver a salute, and file past him and out of Stella’s office.

He turned back to Stella, who—as she made her way from around her desk—pointed towards the door.

“Get the door, Freddie,” she said.

It was as easy as leaning back and pulling it closed via the latch. One more turn of the deadbolt later, and the two were locked in her office… clearly as Stella had planned, if Fredrick figured.

Fredrick took a moment to just… appreciate the mare that was in front of him—and it appeared that Stella had the same idea, as only a few paces separated them. He let his eyes wander over her form, and he could feel Stella undressing him with hers, but that was more than welcome. He was just happy to finally see her again, and the warmth that spread over his cheeks and into his chest when Stella smiled softly, yet widely at him would carry him through the rest of the week.

“Hey babe,” he ‘formally,’ yet softly greeted with a lopsided smirk. There was nothing he could do about the blush on his face though, so he figured he might as well own it by this point.

And that’s when Stella emitted one of her rare batpony ‘EEEE’s and threw her arms around him. The extra weight that was lent by her armor meant that Fredrick had to stumble as the smaller batpony placed her entire weight on him, as well as taking the liberty of swinging her hooves idly in the air as Fredrick held her.

It was always something he was always more than happy to do—Fred was essentially addicted to Stella by this point. The way she looked at him, her walk, her body, her personality, her smell.

And as Fredrick giggled and swung the mare once in a circle, then placed a single, wet kiss on her cheek… he knew that if she was a drug, she was probably the highest quality heroin that he could buy on the streets of… whatever town had the best heroin equivalent here in Equestria.

Just shoot me up, fam.

Fredrick dipped her down low in a dance-move fashion, which elicited a girly giggle from her. Upon bringing her back up, he felt Stella bury her muzzle into the crook of his neck, and then take a deep breath. That was one thing he always found interesting even in the beginning—she was very smell oriented around him.

Probably was a pony thing, but goddamn he had picked it up.

“I missed you,” she mumbled into his neck.

While her hooves were back on the ground, Fredrick was more than happy to let her keep resting herself against him. Having his arms around her lower back was just a bonus to him, even if rigid, plate-metal armor was probably creasing his suit jacket in ways that would be a bitch to remedy later.

Fred nibbled at the tip of her right ear, turning his lips in to not dig his teeth into her.

“Missed you too, Stel’… a lot. And it’s only been two goddamn weeks. But how’ve you been, honey?”

Stella scoffed into his neck.

“Fuckin’ usin’ all these lovey-dovey frou-frou poof-poof language with me already aye? Two fuckin’ weeks indeed an’ ye can’t stop from bein’ a sappy cunt?”

Fred pulled back just a tad so Stella could remove herself, and that’s when the two locked eyes properly. He further lidded his eyes when Stella pressed the tip of her muzzle to his nose.

The human cocked an eyebrow and shot her quip right back at her.

“Really, using ‘honey’ is being a huge queer in your eyes? Of all the romaaaantic things I do for you, that bothers you? Fuck’s sake, girl… you’re weak. And stuck up.”

Stella giggled, and Fredrick felt that much closer to her when she wrapped her arm around his neck, holding him where he was… not like he was gonna go anywhere else anyway.

He placed her alcohol gift on one of the side tables while he had even a free second before the inevitable.

“Fuck I’ve really missed you…” was all she said before Fredrick’s face was pulled into hers.

Their lips softly touched, and then opened without a moment of haste once they were reacquainted like old friends back from vacation. Arms wrapped securely around one another, their tongues rushed to the forefront of their joined mouths to embrace as much as they were. Their eyes fell shut, and as they always had with one another, they only had to let the fire in their cores—ablaze for only each other—dictate the rhythm of their kiss.

They separated with a gentle smack echoing in the silent bureau, and unexpectedly for Fredrick, Stella immediately lay her head on his chest, and allowed herself to be held by him.

Before he could even comment, Stella preempted him with:

“I love you…”

And whatever hilarious concerns he had on his mind regarding how cuddly and lovey-dovey (or in her words, ‘poof-poof’) she was being were put to rest. His cheeks hurt from the involuntary grin that Stella just taped to his face.

“I love you too, beautiful…” he replied without any thought, but lovingly followed it up with:

“You’re pretty goddamn affectionate tonight~.”

Stella pulled back and narrowed her eyes. Fredrick’s heart fluttered when her usual snaggle fang was on full display on the downward curl of her mouth.

“Fuck you,” she said, then grinned that usual, Stella-esque mischievous grin.

And surprising him a second time tonight, her charmingly, rousingly aggressive visage was dropped in favor of one much more sheepish and fatigued.

“I’m sorry but… I don’t have a lot of time tonight. Too much shit to do. Just wanna be held fer a spot before I go back tae carryin’ this fuckin’ unit,” she confessed.

Fredrick smiled.

“Well, you know I’ll always be here to hold you whenever you like,” he said.

“And you are a unit,” Fredrick added.

Stella chuckled.

“Goddamn right. An absolute unit. A mad cunt. Oh, but mark me words…” she added as her tone dipped into more sultry territory.

Fredrick’s more primal instincts were triggered as Stella pressed her nose against his again, narrowed her eyes, and curled her lips upward, exposing her sharp fangs.

“When I’m completely free in the next month or so… I’m gonna rock yer world tae make up fer lost time. Aye?”

Fredrick bit his lip and returned her demeanor full force. He then went even further by wrapping his left arm around Stella’s waist, grasping her asscheek from under her armor skirt, and pulling her flush against him.

Her reaction was immediate, and Fredrick took every bit of pleasure in watching her eyes go wide with surprise, as well as the inadvertent, adorable ‘o’ shape her mouth made. Her previous expression elastically returned to her face though, and Fredrick finally responded:

“I look forward to it… and I’ll make sure to help relieve you of all your stresses from the last couple of months, babe,” he said.

Stella cocked an eyebrow and angled her face away whilst keeping her eyes squarely, longingly trained on his.

“Oh~? I love me the sound of that! The fuck’s gotten intae you, love?” she questioned teasingly, and further prodded:

“…because I’m startin’ tae really like this assertive Fredrick… Do I need tae take more time away from ye?”

Fredrick genuinely giggled at that, but shook his head nonetheless.

“Hell no! Because…” he stopped mid-sentence and considered his next move, though it all rested on one thing:

“Wait, how much time you got before I need to skedaddle?” he asked.

Stella glanced over to a clock that hung just over the door to her office.

“About five minutes or so… fer what, mate?” she answered.

Fredrick smirked.

Perfect. All I need.

Without heralding his next move, Fredrick wrapped both of his forearms under Stella’s ass and picked her straight up off the floor to the tune of a sudden, adorably astonished squeak from the thestral mare.

He then plopped her on her desk, much to the now readily apparent love of Stella…

…who outright purred at him.

“You’ll do no such thing!” Fredrick said in reference to Stella’s last statement. “Because you’re retarded if you think I’m gonna let this ass be away from me for too long!”

Fredrick even surprised himself with that forwardness.

Goddamn, dude. When the shit did you become a panty dropper?

Stella seemed to take those words in the best way possible, as that lidded, lascivious gaze could ethereally jack off an entire village by sight alone.

“Oh fuck me Fredrick I’ve really missed you!”

Five minutes was definitely all he needed. That was the whole point of a ‘quickie’ after all.

[Back in Fredrick’s Room | Present Time...]

His eyes were heavy, feeling like they were weighed down by steel plates as he fought to open them.

Fred had half a mind to keep them closed and just go back to sleep, but the infernal death rays of sunlight peeking through the curtains were striking his face just right where even sleep wasn’t fulfilling anymore. So, as was staple with his life every time he came back into the waking world, he would just lay there like a corpse—eyes barely managing any sort of effort to remain open—whilst the rest of his body gained consciousness.

The hope was that eventually, most of his body would be stirred awake enough to resist more sleep attempts and get on with the day... the only difference was that he and Stella were going to spend today doing absolutely nothing, so there really was not anything important to get done. More sleep might as well have been an awesome prospect.

But alas, that damned sun.

Fredrick lay on his side, and as feeling returned to the rest of his sleepy body, he could feel just how every muscle in him ached—likely due to the previous night’s insatiable activities with the mare he loved.

His arms and legs were so tight, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to contract them fully. Would he even be able to walk once he inevitably got out of bed?

That would be a question for near-future Fredrick to answer, as right now, he was quite comfy realizing that during the night, Stella had wrapped her arms around his stomach and pulled him tightly against her. He was always a fan of spooning, but he had vividly remembered the two of them falling asleep in the opposite orientation.

Funny how nature do that.

After a while though, his body did indeed wake up more, and that’s when he came to terms with a rather pressing fact:He had to piss harder than a racehorse who had nothing but Monster Energy Drinks and crack-cocaine for the last five months for a competitive edge.

The first step in successfully uncapping the firehose was getting out of Stella’s notorious, iron grip.

Fredrick wiggled around and pulled away from Stella, but as he had expected, her grip was rock-solid around his midsection. One thing he didn’t expect however, was her forearms—they felt impossibly built—absolute unit status.

Jesus Christ, babe... I know you’re muscular but holy fuck...

In days past, he would often see her every day, so any changes that she went through on the workout side were likely not noticed by him from day-to-day. He hadn’t seen her in a good long while, at least for very long, so perhaps she had just been hitting the gym more to blow off some steam?

After some extra effort, Fredrick was able to weasel out of her grasp. He sat up on the edge of the bed, but in turning back to take a look at his mare, Stella had instantly, subconsciously rolled onto her other side and bundled herself up under the blankets. Fred didn’t really get a good glimpse at her, but he still smiled nonetheless—she was probably so exhausted from these past couple of months of nonstop drilling and administration.

She deserved every bit of rest away from work that she could be afforded.

He sat on the edge of the bed for a few moments—still collecting his thoughts—and then got to his feet. Thankfully, the floor beneath him was not ice-cold, and he stretched his arms over his head. He felt a section of his back pop after some strain, and a euphoric warmness slithered its way up his spine which manifested in a pleasure-filled, morning groan.

Again, he remembered that he had to bleed the lizard, and he quickly bounded into the bathroom with a purpose. He quietly shut the door behind him but left it just ajar enough to prevent any future ‘incidents.’

As he moved to relieve himself, Fredrick chuckled silently regarding his views on the bathroom door. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Stella nearly gave him a heart-attack by All-Star-smashing the door open while he was ‘taking care of business.’

Back in reality though, pissing his life away literally had never felt so good—as the phrasing in his head had implied, he probably lost a good year out of his life from how much matter he urinated out his pisshole. He was probably lucky that his head didn’t cave in, if he was being honest with himself.

A quick flush later, he was running warm water into the sink and washing any remnant sleep out of his face.

That’s when he heard some rustling from the bedsheets back in the room. He smirked as he figured that Stella probably was beginning her own process of waking up. Perhaps he’d surprise her when he was finished up washing.

He snagged the towel he kept right next to the sink, wiped his face over a couple of times, and then confidently began to make his way back into his room.

His entire body shut down the moment he closed the bathroom door behind him, and he felt like rigor mortis had completely set in when he saw what lay on his bed:

When he expected to find Stella, instead Fredrick found an impossibly muscular, absolute unit of a batpony stallion—stark naked—laying on his side and whose golden eyes were lustfully staring straight into his. He had, oddly enough, the same coat and mane scheme that Stella did.

And then the foreign stallion winked, and spoke with the deepest, most masculine Scottish voice he had ever heard:

“Oi laddie… are ye a nice cuppa tea? ‘Cuz I wanna stick me cock in ya!”

“JEEESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY TITTYFUCKING FUCKING SAINTS!”

A bolt of pure, unbridled fear shot up his spine the moment those words left the stallion’s mouth, which manifested as his body going into fight-or-flight mode. Fredrick felt himself going full cerebral palsy mode as he tried to stagger immediately back into the bathroom, but his dumbass had forgotten that he had closed the door once he had exited… and he ended up just slamming the back of his head into solid wood.

He quickly lost his balance and—with a desperate, intelligible retard grunt that sounded something like clubbing a deer—crumpled to the floor onto his ass.

And to his abject horror, the invading stallion got to both of his hooves, revealing a comically enormous, pornstar-length dong that would make any lemon-stealing whore repent for their heinous crimes against citrus.

His eyes shrunk to pinpricks, and even as a straight man he couldn’t look away (out of pure fear) from the goddamn leather wyvern swinging pendulously between this stallion’s legs.

“Dude what the fuck?! Who the fuck are you?!” Fredrick exclaimed the first words that came to mind, and made any attempt to scurry away or make himself smaller in the presence of this tank of a batpony.

And with a different selection of words than what he would have hoped to hear, he ended up getting his answer:

“Drop yer trousers, laddie! I’m about tae inflict on ye some P-T-S-D—Pretty Thick and Strong Dick!”

“Get the fuck away from me! Wait—What the fuck did you do with Stella?!” came his words as rational slowly returned to his brain.

The stallion beamed at him, then winked, which further tickled him in all the wrong places.

“Don’t ye worry, laddie… she’s safe an’ sound! But it’s time tae jiggle!”

The epitome of medieval Scottish masculinity then began what Fredrick would consider an elaborate Fortnite-esque groove… which only served to make his goddamn dick boogie a dance most serpentine right next to his face.

Fredrick was not even aware that a dick could get that big, much less move in such a way that it looked like there was actual snake-charming shit going on.

“FUCKING, STOP! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”

The stallion appeared to not be listening to him in the slightest:

“IF YA DON’T JIGGLE, YA GET THE DICKLE, CUNT!

“OPEN WIDE, LAD! Hope ya like yer tubemeat raw! Because yer gonna turn it well done! AND yer gonna smell this bawbag!”

Fredrick folded his arms in front of his face to shield himself whilst emitting a less-than-masculine scream of uncertain fear… especially when the Loch Ness Monster began whipping into his arms, sounding like he was fighting with a propeller.

Fredricks high-pitched squealing continued in earnest as that was the best projection of his confused, yet overwhelming fear for his life. This was made all that much worse when his defense failed him just enough to get dickslapped across the mouth.

“GAHH, FUCK!” Fredrick cried out, especially when he felt a foreign wetness coating his lips.

The offending stallion completely lost his shit and began cackling wildly.

“GOTCHA, CUNT!”

Fredrick froze. The way the stallion said that… the tone and inflection used sounded extremely familiar… And then rational thought slowly began to return to him as he looked up into that masculine face.

Wait… what the fuck? Same ponytail… same eyes… same accent… same words…

Fredrick dared risk pony AIDS and licked his lips of that foreign wetness.

Fucking… pineapple? Pineapple!

It all came together at once—the concoction now clear after the pot had been stirred with a literal horse cock.

Fredrick deadpanned, sighed, and then got to his feet with no resistance from his dick assailant.

“Really, Stella…” Fredrick said level-headedly, dusting himself off and checking to make sure he wasn’t bleeding nor hadn’t broken any bones during his (debatably warranted) retard moment.

The now-familiar stallion bellowed in laughter.

“Finally figured it out, ya groggy wank?” ‘Stella’ said with what Fred would consider her usual flare.

With his fear being quickly replaced by mild annoyance—knowing that he had been pranked and pranked well—he stood in front of the hulking Stella, who was now taller than him. Looking up into her eyes, he placed both of his hands on his hips whilst shaking his head.

“Son of a bitch… I thought I’d be ready for any counter prank you had for me but fuck me I never thought you’d go to these…” he glanced down at Stella’s undeniable presence between her legs.

“…lengths after the Poison Joke incident!”

Stella took a few steps back and—since the storm had now passed, and the overall ‘pranking’ had been completed—began to admire her form all while she responded so matter-of-factly:

“After all this time… after bein’ together for all these months on top of the extra half a hear we’ve known each other… and yer still underestimatin’ the lengths I’d go tae fuck with ye? Didn’t I say I was gonna rock yer world?

“In more ways than one!” she then added, and promptly fell ass-backwards into another booming laughing fit that seemed to shake the foundation of the castle.

Fredrick rolled his eyes as Stella continued to laugh at his expense, though in hindsight—and in all fairness—he felt that he should have expected some type of retaliation of this magnitude. Complacency and taking his marefriend’s working schedule for granted sullied his readiness for such a counter-prank.

And that’s how I ended up getting slapped in the face by a fucking pineapple python. Great.

Further, the universe let him in on the fact that, had Stella been born as a male, she apparently would’ve had a massive dick, and be the manliest Chad to ever exist. Somehow, he was less than surprised. Super interesting to note, for sure… but no surprises, nonetheless.

Fredrick brought himself out of the depths of his thoughts and focused back on his genderbent marefriend. It appeared that she had enough with pranking him, since she was much too busy checking out her (his?) new ‘vessel’ in the body-length mirror. While Stella was always more than just a little concerned with how she looked when they would go out, it was something else entirely seeing a brawny goddamn man of a stallion doing a bunch of feminine poses in the mirror.

Like jutting his ass out…

Or running his hands seductively over every curve of his chiseled body…

And then striking some odd combination of a strongmare pose (that was quintessential of Stella) and a Baywatch bikini shot.

Fredrick’s mouth curled downward and his eyes widened, not sure of the dissonance between his brain and what he was seeing. Nevertheless, like if he was staring at the sun or staring at a dog that had much-too large of a ballsack proportional to its size… he just couldn’t look away.

He didn’t stand a chance. Stella had mentally scarred him in all the ways that the internet never could.

Stella broke him out of his internal, questionable musings with a long, masculine sigh of dejection.

“Fuuuuck! Me tits!” she cupped her now-steel pecs in such a way that she anticipated squishy sacks of fat.

Only hard muscle that Fredrick was low-key jealous of, remained.

“My tits are gone! What the fuck, lads! Me ass is hard as a fuckin’ whale’s wang but fuuuuck. My tits!”

Fredrick casually made his way over to her, smirking humorously as the mare of his dreams waded through the first vestiges of manhood.

“Yeah, your tits are gone… but I’m pretty sure they all went into that fucking snake of a dick and balls you have now! Holy shit, dude,” he exclaimed.

Fredrick watched with some measure of impressed horror as Stella re-directed her attention to said dick and suddenly two-handed it to get some measure of a closer look. He also giggled like a little kid being told a fart joke when Stella then closed one eye and tried to stare down her new pisshole like the barrel of a rifle.

Fredrick could barely contain himself, and in the end, he gave into the guffaw that tore out of his chest like the little queer from Alien.

“PFFT! Stella what the fuck are you doing!”

The batpony mare-turned-stallion’s face was as confused as a deer in the fleshlites.

“Why the fuck is this thing so rigid?? It’s like a fuckin’ flagpole! The cock’s more patriotic than me!”

Fredrick quipped with a single finger-gun and an impish smirk that was iconic for taking the piss outta Stella:

“Welcome to ‘being a man 1-0-1—Morning Wood, Electric Boogaloo.’”

Stella blinked in surprise, then stood tall and away from the mirror, which further highlighted the sheer reversal of their heights to Fredrick. It also highlighted the stiff howitzer between her legs that bounced pendulously like a camera with no stabilization.

Even more than that, her face continued to harbor sheer, childish confusion.

“Wait… you mean that this shit just happens? What the fuck, I thought you had tae get aroused ‘er some shit. I sure as shit ain’t horny right now I’ll fuckin’ tell ye that!”

Fredrick continued to hold that same smugness whilst shrugging. In his eyes, at least Stella was beginning to feel the drawbacks of her little prank while this all lasted.

“Nope! Sometimes the dick wants something and doesn’t tell the brain. State secrets or some shit. Have fun with that!”

Fredrick took enormous pleasure in watching Stella’s concerned gaze turn southward at her throbbing, rigid boner that refused to quit on her. He figured she was trying to channel her entire mental fortitude and discipline she honed throughout her years in the military, but to little avail if the lack of change in her rigidity was anything to go by.

All the while, he was still wondering why the hell he was staring so nonchalantly at a clearly-male’s erect horse penis—he internally shrugged.

Probably because I know it’s Stella. Dick is more ‘feminine’ I guess?

…oh god that’s the same reasoning for people liking traps and futa! Fuck’s sake, man. Come on, son, that’s gay!

Stella huffed, exasperated.

“Mate this’s some fuckin’ steamin’ shit. Straight outta the griffon’s cloaca. You lads haftae contend with this?? Fuck’s sake, I think I actually feel sorry fer ya poor bastards!”

Fredrick delivered a sarcastic bow.

“Well, I thank you for the acknowledgement on behalf of all men and stallions in this universe… but hey,” he added with another chuckle. “…at least you won’t have to live with a ‘why boner’ for much longer, right?”

Male Stella’s eyes lit up brightly with a spark as he-she shot her gaze right back up at Fredrick—at least that glimmer in those same golden pools was the same as the mare’s whose tits he liked to grab.

“Aye! Right!” she exclaimed, then began to dance on her tippy-hooves. “Should be any minute now, actually!”

She then shrugged at Fredrick and gestured to her expanded dong.

“I love ye, and yer cock… but fuck I ain’t lovin’ this shit. I want me minge and tits back! Should be back and good as new any fuckin’ minute now!”

Fredrick rolled his eyes, but still smirked smugly at the situation.

“Serves ya right for the dickslap, ya… twat,” he said whilst he made his way over to his bed, then promptly sat down on the edge.

Stella blew him a raspberry over her shoulder as she continued to check out her form in the mirror to pass the time.

“You loved it~!”

Fredrick chortled involuntarily at that statement and shot pure incredulity at his manly marefriend.

“Oh I most certainly did not, fuck you very much!” he said, conviction ever strong in his sexuality.

Fredrick pursed his lips, however, when Stella continued to prod him with joking doubt:

“I’unno, love… I think ye liked it. Yer goin’ gay on me, laddie?”

Fredrick sighed, then through his back into the embrace of his bed. After all of this, he was certainly awake now, and had every desire to cuddle up and go back to sleep… especially when Stella would eventually turn back into her normal self. He’d be giving her the dicking of a lifetime for the inconvenience.

“Stella… I think you’d suffer the most if I went gay.”

Fredrick lifted his head to see if Stella found anything better to do while they waited for whatever she did to herself to wear off… but instead found her squatting deeply in front of the mirror.

He returned his head to the blankets.

“Mate, our relationship is pretty fuckin’ gay, tae be quite honest,” Stella informed.

And that assertion earned Fredrick’s attention, and he felt compelled to lift his torso to hear this.

“Oh really? Well I’m looking forward to how you’re gonna sell this one to me,” he said.

Stella turned on her-his hooves—his-her horsecock aimed right at Fredrick’s face from across the room—and simply remarked:

“Well, think about it, mate! You’re a stallion. Also, you fuckin’ love me! Which means that ye love somepony who loves dick. Therefore, you’re pretty fuckin’ gay!

“It’s like PEMDAS or some shit…” she added while twirling on her hooves to face the mirror again.

Fredrick blinked so hard in astonishment at her logic path that he thought he would knock himself out. He legitimately felt in the pit of his braincase that the universe proposed a question he simply could not answer.

“Right… See, I know what you just said is absolute bullshit but I can’t help but feel like I just spectacularly lost that argument somehow.

“Jesus Christ. Might as well just kill myself right now.”

Fred threw himself back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, reflecting on the immediate conversation that just took place. It was at that point that the man figured he might as well stay silent and let Stella explore the paragon of manliness that was her male form in her own way. It made sense to him that they’d wait until the whole spell or whatever she used finally wore off.

Then they could get back to more important things at hand…

…like grabbing her butt.

The only problem with this plan was that they did wait.

And they continued to wait beyond that with no discernable change to Stella’s form that even remotely resembled her feminine figure.

They also continued to wait even more.

They even did a little bit more waiting after that as a bonus.

But… nothing.

Even more impressively, so much time had passed that Stella had gotten completely bored with checking herself out and resolved to just lay next to Fredrick. She joined in him in staring at the ceiling.

And he felt by this point he might as well break the silence and by extension, the obvious:

“So… you’re still a dude with more testosterone than I could possibly produce in a lifetime. What gives? Wasn’t this supposed to wear off by now?”

Fredrick angled his gaze over and watched as Stella sat up to get a good look at herself. It seemed that she was seeing the same thing he was, and indeed nothing had changed.

“Aye, I should have me glorious body all back and hot the way it should be. You think you’re annoyed, lad? Clearly something got fuckin’ bungled,” she said.

Fred joined her in sitting up, then dangled his legs over the front of the bed to get some blood flowing into his brain. For all intents and purposes, it was still morning since they had never left their sleeping abode, nor changed to start the day properly… which meant that his thinking needed a jumpstart.

“Well…” he began, running a hand over his face which spoke elegantly to his deep sense of ‘what the shit is even happening?’

“What did you take anyway?”

“A wee bit of something called ‘Potion 63.’ The fuckin’ Princess had some refined and delivered to me… clandestinely,” Stella answered, flashing her pearly whites in a way that one would smile while sexually harassing their significant other.

Fred rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Of course Princess Luna gave it to you. Fuck’s sake, she single-handedly keeps this damn prank war going, I’m pretty sure…

“But okay, fine. Did she give you instructions for it?” he followed up.

He watched as Stella blinked a couple of times, and then an aura of knowing struck her face when her features lit up brightly.

“Right! Aye, good thinkin’ ya smart fuckin’ oaf ye,” she said with an extra accent of flirtatiousness.

Fredrick backed away out of reflex when Stella leaned in to legitimately plant a wet one on his lips… which would’ve been—in his mind—a rather legitimate reaction to any dude who would try to kiss him.

The only difference this time was that Fredrick didn’t realize what he did until he saw Stella’s eyes—which held the same spark of the mare he loved despite the ideal Highlander body she had now—harboring deep offense.

Stella’s voice dropped uncharacteristically low—at least, uncharacteristically for speaking to Fredrick:

“Why… why did you just swerve me?”

Though he was loathe to say it, Fredrick still said:

“You’re kind of a dude right now…”

Stella physically jogged her head and smirked, recognizing the situation in its fullest at an instant.

“Ah, right! Fuckin’ duh! But…”

She thought for a brief moment, which brought her demeanor back within what Fredrick would consider ‘normal’ bounds, though he could read right through her. Though her eyes told him she was about to shoot a really terrible joke his way, he could also see that the previous offense she took in trying to kiss him via her male form had not gone away by any stretch.

It lingered. Much longer than he’d like, and the feeling manifested like a stone in the pit of his stomach.

“Are you fuckin’ sayin’ that ye only like me because… because I’m actually a mare?!” she said, feigning offense with a fake sniffle…

…which Fredrick knew masked some deeper offense.

Nevertheless, Fredrick curled the right corner of his lips upward.

“Well, I mean… yeah!” he answered honestly, chuckling genuinely though with some underlying awkwardness at the question.

He figured there were better ways to reaffirm his sexuality as ‘perfectly straight’ than viewing his better half after she had completely swapped genders. There was still a certain logistical part of his brain that was having trouble computing the situation, but hopefully he would address this once Stella was back to her normal self.

And he figured both parties were in agreement on that front per Stella’s previous words as well as when she immediately bounded off the bed and into the bathroom. That dong of hers continued to flap side-to-side in the non-existent wind like it was some bolo or other weapon of war.

Seriously she could probably kill a small child with that thing. Fuckin’ knock it off the road or some shit.

Fredrick watched as Stella came back outward, the much heavier thuds of her hooves against the ground making it sound like she was stomping some village inhabited by little elves. In her grasp was a single piece of paper that he figured was no larger than a sticky note.

Stella sat on the edge of the bed right next to Fredrick and unfolded it, revealing the unfairly-neat scribble of the Night Princess that Fredrick had become used to over the last year.

She handed it to him:

“See? Here…” she then pointed out the writing, which Fredrick continued to read regardless of where her finger was headed.

“Okay…” he said, and at the conclusion of the note, he began to piece together exactly when Stella was able to take this potion without alerting him to her nefarious ways.

“So, in that case, did you take two doses a couple hours apart? I only remember you going for water once unless I’m retarded… and I’m totally assuming that that’s when you decided to pull your little genderbending stunt.”

Fredrick focused back on Stella’s face, and he witnessed her stare off into space, presumably in deep thought. He couldn’t blame her for not remembering… there were much better things that came to his mind from the previous night.

Hell, he didn’t even know she was that flexible. That was definitely one of the better times.

“Ummm…” and that’s when her face became much more serious.

“Fuck. No. I chugged that shit back in one go like a Canterlot highschool cheerleader gargles cum.”

Fredrick hung his gaze at her.

“So effectively, you doubled up your dose in one go as opposed to taking it as prescribed over time. Not sure how that affects magic shit but… sounds like you don’ goof’d, Stel’.”

In a move that Fredrick had to stop himself from losing his shit entirely, Stella’s face morphed into an expression of pure fear of the likes he had never seen before.

“Wait…” she then got to her hooves again, and it appeared that the fear had drained her panty snake of its support. “Are you sayin’ I could be fuckin’ stuck like this?!”

Fredrick blinked.

Oh boy… this is gonna get weird.

Fredrick sat up and raised his palms defensively.

“No… I’m not saying that. I’m saying that—”

Stella began pacing, and a fear for her mortal, corporeal self was scrawled on her face in graffiti.

“Fuck. I’m gonna be stuck like this! Fuck I’m retarded! What in the wee blueberry fuckmuffin was I thinking?! I should’ve re-read the note. Fuck!

“Fuck!

“FUCK!”

She continued to curse to two opposite sides of the room as her composure degraded.

For the first time in their relationship, Fredrick thought he was seeing her actually lose her mind to anxiety. The reason eluded him… because while she did potentially mess up in not following directions for what was essentially medicine, he figured the answer to this problem was quite obvious.

“STELLA!” he shouted whilst he fell down to his feet on the floor.

Raising his voice appeared to do the trick, since the masculine mare in question stopped in her tracks—stunned—and stared right back at him.

“Jesus fuck take a deep breath! As you always say: ‘Pull yourself together, lad!’ It’s just a potion. I’m sure you’ll be just fine!” he said having placed both of his hands on Stella’s rock-hard shoulders and attempting to shake some sense into the now-taller stallion.

Stella shut her eyes and followed his directions to the letter and began breathing nice and controlled.

Perfect.

“Now,” Fredrick began anew. “Luna gave you the potion, right?”

Stella nodded.

“Aye.”

“So, using deductive reasoning in that brilliant Lunar Guard head of yours…” he added, poking her forehead. “…don’t you think the Princess would be able to reverse this?”

Stella nodded vehemently.

“Aye! Yeah aye! That’s fuckin’ brilliant!” she said, but Fredrick knew that it wouldn’t be that simple with how her excitement was suddenly curtailed.

“But… there’s a problem—Princess Luna’s on a diplomatic mission to Anglomaneia. She won’t be back fer another few days.”

Fredrick shrugged, shaking his head. This was still a nonissue in his eyes.

“Well, it’s a good thing she has a co-ruler in the form of her sister, right? Princess Celestia is just as skilled in the magical arts as she is. Let’s go find her, then, yeah?”

Stella seemed to consider that a lot less than he would’ve hoped.

“Aye… but I just realized something else,” she said.

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow.

“And that is…?”

“I’m literally unrecognizable right now from anypony but you. And believe it or not, the excuse ‘I fucked with a potion, please let me see the Princess’ isn’t exactly what we Guards would call a ‘valid’ excuse for being in the castle without authorization because yer ID doesn’t fuckin’ match.

“Sorry tae drop a meat-bollock in the fuckin’ spaghetti, but I think we took fer granted the easy access we had to the Princesses. Minor detail, but…”

Fredrick deadpanned, though inside a bomb had dropped on all his previous considerations.

“That’s minor? Fuck,” he said, running his right hand over his mouth. He cradled his chin.

“You’re right. Goddamnit. Are we really gonna fuckin’ Mission Impossible this?”

Stella interjected:

“I mean… we could try our luck with the Sols if they get in the way. Do ya know where Princess Celestia’s supposed to be right now?”

“Well yeah… it’s a Friday and close to noon. She’s in her office. Hell, I’d be there with her if I wasn’t taking the day off to be with you.”

Stella clapped her hands together once and smiled.

“Perfect! The Admin wing is like a hop, skip, and a quick handjob away. Let’s go fuckin’ now! Before I have this fuckin’ dick fer the next forty years of me life, please!”

Fredrick motioned to stop everything for a moment.

“Hold you’re horses for a sec,” he said, which earned him a confused, furrowed brow from Stella.

“The fuck does that mean?” she asked.

Fred rolled his eyes.

“Oh, right. Earth expressions. I was saying slow down a minute.

“You know as well as I that there’s a guard checkpoint right when you enter the Admin wing. I get ID’d every goddamn time, which means that the moment they even look at you, we’re fucked!”

Stella nodded.

“True… but there’s only one, maybe two at most. Goes fer both Solar and Lunar. So, like I said, let’s try our luck. If that doesn’t work, then whoever’s got the shit job today—sorry love. Fuck ‘em!” Stella said, resurrecting her iconic, fangy smirk.

Fredrick placed both his hands on his hips.

“Okay, what the hell do you mean by ‘fuck ‘em?’ What does that exactly mean here?” he demanded to know.

He was pretty sure he knew exactly where Stella was going with this, but he just needed to confirm for sure to determine the likelihood of getting his dick shanked by some Solar Guard’s spear.

“I’m sayin’ that if push comes tae shove, and he or she gets a little too fuckin’ uppity with me, I’ll insert the blunt end of their spear up their arse!”

Fredrick was not amused, but Stella sure seemed that way when her eyes lit up again with a fond longing.

“Fuck knows I’ve wanted a good excuse tae kick the shit outta the Sols, innit?”

Fredrick didn’t have to outline his confusion at all, as it was already outlined on his face, and his indignation at the fact that Stella would actually go through with something like that was more than evident.

“Are you fucking—really? You’re technically a persona non grata you fuckin’ William Wallace-looking idiot!” he spoke tersely.

“If you actually do that, Celestia will probably go full Edward Longshanks on you… are you mad?! Hell, you were the one that brought up this problem! How’re you not treating it as such?!”

Stella’s booming laughter cut through his points like a knife and she placed a massive hand on his shoulders.

“Love, while I love how yer expandin’ yer vocabulary, I think yer overreacting,” she said. “True, I brought it up. It is a problem, but I don’t see it as a roadblock. You should take some of your excellent advice and calm down. Do you have any idea how many legitimate fights’ve broken out between the two Guard Forces?”

“That doesn’t help this situation. Like. At all, Stella!” Fredrick said, exhasperated. “I know for a fact that you can like, kill everypony here outside of the princesses with just your goddamn words but that doesn’t address any of the consequences that come with you doing exactly that!”

Stella rolled here eyes this time and huffed out indignantly.

“Look, mate,” she said, then leveled an open palm at him

“Personally, if it’s between a Solar Guard or two, and me staying as a fuckin’ stallion fer the rest of me life… then ye fuckin’ better believe that I’ll rip their testicles off an’ use ‘em fer cuff links , aye?”

Fredrick dug his fingers into his hair and scalp like he was trying to scoop clumps of sand up from a beach. It seemed that the only one concerned for Stella’s safety and reputation was him.

“Right, okay. Know what? Wanna brute force this? Sure! Fine! When do you wanna go?” Fredrick acquiesced.

Stella bounced on her hooves in excitement, which further exacerbated the problem of Fredrick still having a massive dick in his field of view.

“Alright, love! Look… I know you’re lookin’ out fer me, but ye gave me the direction, and I think I can take it from here! So, tell ya what. We’ll try our luck with the guards and we’ll go from there, how’s that?” she put forth her previous suggestion.

For Fredrick, her more conciliatory tone was much appreciated in that she at least understood the gravity of things as they currently were. But at the same time, drawing on all of his experience with this mare, he knew for a fact that things would go anything but smoothly in the next half-hour.

Nevertheless, he nodded, and smirked at the mare that was trapped in that overly-masculine body of hers.

“Alright, I guess it’ll be another adventure. What’s the worst that could happen, right?”

Stella then remarked with a sly smirk and a finger pointed sarcastically at him:

“Careful mate! I may be all powerful but don’t challenge the fuckin’ universe ya daft twat!”

Fredrick shrugged and agreed wholeheartedly.

“Fair point. But…” he stopped for a split second and let his mind run over some scenarios. “The Admin Wing isn’t far, but there’s still guards and other castle staff around that know everypony on average. We’ll just have to keep as low of a profile as possible…

“…and find you something to wear, at that,” he further added, remembering that Stella was, in fact, naked as fuck.

Stella coyly chided:

“Awww come on, laddie! We can be subtle when I’m at me ‘battiest!’” she said, giggling.

And though he knew for a fact she was joshing him, he was still less-than convinced.

“Right. And babe—er, man, dude? If I ever ask you for advice on ‘subtlety,’ just go ahead and sanction me under the mental health acts. Now, what the fuck of mine will you even fit into? Because you sure as hell ain’t fitting into your clothes.”

“AYE!” Stella pumped a fist into the air. “Another lovely, adventurous stroll through the castle full of magic and wonder!” she spoke with a faux, infuriating dreaminess.

Fredrick, understandably, was less than enthused.

“I’m gonna hate every moment of this. I can feel it in my bones.”

22. That Was a Thing

Author's Note

I said this would be out last week. I meant this week. This chapter is just... this is just some shit, man. This chapter is just... fuckin'. Goddamnit lmao.

Shut. Fuk off.

22. That Was a Thing

[ Northern Mountains | Sabre Household ]

“Fuckin’… close already... ya fuckin’ fat cunt!”

And with Sveta’s holy prayer, she fit the last of her necessary clothes into her small suitcase. It was a little more than she’d be comfortable with taking, but it was a necessary evil.

Sveta wiped her brow, brushed her bangs out of her face, and then smirked excitedly. She knew for a fact that the coming week would be more than worth the effort—the blood, sweat, and tears—in packing… immediately so when she got that clandestine letter from Fredrick:

He was preparing a surprise birthday party for Stella and had decided to invite her closest friends and family for the ordeal.

Of course she’d come out to Canterlot for the occasion.

A certain, familiar fondness for the ‘human twat’ welled up within her when he had offered for the entire Sabre household to attend. Mom and Dad unfortunately could not on the account of the spontaneity and their own work affairs—they would see Stella at a later date instead.

So, Sveta got the job of representing all Sabre’s at her sister’s to-be surprise birthday party. Still, in her eyes and the eyes of her family, the sentiment was appreciated. Even more than that, Fredrick was kind enough to offer (and refuse otherwise) to take care of the expense for the hours-long train ride down south.

It was these little things around which Sveta reminded herself how serious she was about her threat to female-circumcise Stella if she ever broke up with this lad.

She glanced back at her suitcase and furrowed her brow. The realization struck her of having not performed a final check to ensure she had all her essentials.

“FUCK!” she cursed. “Okay, ummm…

“Shirts, trousers, shorts, bathing suit, toiletries…” she listed one-by-one with the aid of her fingers.

“…panties, bras… me good bras… fuck me, why the shit are bras so goddamn expensive anyway? Fuckin’ hell!” she yelled to nopony in particular with a pent up rage that had become a little too familiar over the past couple of months.

Sveta forced herself to stop in her tracks and willed a deep, long breath into her lungs. She had felt her stress levels rising just a tad too high. That deep breath turned into a couple more when her tried and true bout of quick meditation kicked in.

She closed her sapphire eyes for a spot and let her own personal zen take over. A neon, flashing billboard of a reminder marquee’d its way through her mindscape.

“Relax, lass…” she told herself softly.

“School’s getting’ a wee bit tougher in the twat now… but this is vacation, mate,” she said.

“And it’s gonna be Stella’s birthday! Gonna be an absolute fuckin’ unit of a party, aye! And—”

“Fuck’s sake, Sveta you still talkin’ to yerself?!” interjected a second voice distinctly older yet reminiscent of her own.

A sudden intrusion of foreign words into her deeply focused thought process elicited a shrill, feminine, less-than-dignified shriek from the younger Sabre, as well as forcing her to entire body to jump in her hooves as a result of the mini heart attack she just experienced. Sveta abruptly turned toward her door with a purposeful stomp and found exactly who she expected to find.

“MUM!” she exclaimed, throwing her balled fists towards the floor with a frustrated edge to her tone.

“Fer fuck’s sake! Would it ruin yer fuckin’ orgasm tae knock fer once in yer goddamn life?!”

The shorter Schiavona waltzed into Sveta’s abode undeterred and only shrugged with that loving, yet somehow simultaneously, infuriatingly smug smile of hers.

“Oi! Don’t fuckin’ yell at me fer yer own problems! Yer door was wide open—somethin’ ya should do with yer fuckin’ legs on occasion, ya fuckin’ quierdo!”

Sveta dramatically rolled her eyes at that comment.

“Right, right… Well at least yer not bumfuck naked tae hell like last time. Should have ye arrested fer childhood trauma fer that, y’know!” she further mulled.

Vona scoffed with a high-pitched giggle.

“Aye, you’d fucking like that, wouldn’t ye?” she put forth rhetorically.

Vona then advanced on her suddenly, and despite her mom’s shorter stature, Sveta instinctually retreated a couple of steps… especially when Vona had raised an open palm at her.

Sveta deadpanned when mom burst out into jovial laughter before quipping:

“That’s what I thought! Yer never too young fer a Great War flashback, eh?”

Sveta brought her childhood defenses under control and scoffed with thinly veiled sarcasm:

“Aye, parent of the year, right here, everypony!” she announced to nopony in particular.

Schiavona crossed her arms victoriously under her chest.

“Yer goddamn right! Besides, what was a few arse-whoopin’s as foals? You and Stella turned out just fine!”

Sveta knew her mom was here just to mingle, so she quickly went about doing her last checks as she prepared for her upcoming travel. All the while, she smirked at her mother’s words.

“Heh… there’s still time tae fuck it all up, innit?” she said, then further giggled as another thought passed her mind:

“I mean… heh… Stella’s boning Fredrick after all, so…” she alluded.

Vona appeared to appreciate the joke when she giggled heartily into her hand, but promptly returned Sveta’s words with feigned offense:

“Oi! Don’t fuckin’ disparage the good name of Fredrick! Stella may be fuckin’ ‘im, and she may be a goddamn retard half the time when it comes tae coltfriends… but he’s the best fuckin’ colt that Stella’s fucked!” she seemed all too eager to point out with emphatic finger wagging to boot.

Sveta nodded in deep consideration and eventual agreement.

“Aye… I’ll drink tae that, mum,” she said, then sat at the edge of her bed—she had packed all she needed and could finally, fully relax.

Schiavona leaned back against the doorframe, then pointed again at Sveta with a suggestive smile.

“Hah! You’d fuckin’ know, ya little minge-licker! You got a few slices of human cream pie, after all!” she quipped.

Sveta could practically feel the pigment draining from her face and dribble out her turdcutter like a runny faucet. She also figured she cracked a vertebrae from how hard she righted her posture in pure surprise.

She focused fully on her mom with deep, wide eyes:

“W-What?! H-How—”

Vona held her at bay with an outward-stretched palm.

“Oh fuckin’ relax and untie yer clit fer fuck’s sake—oh by the way, yer tits are gonna fall out…”

Sveta, red in the face, glanced downward and adjusted her attire—a mere black bra and panties—at the friendly cautioning from her mom. She then flipped her let-down hair back over her shoulders.

“Cheers,” Sveta said firstly. “B-But how the fuck do ya know… that?”

Vona didn’t appear particularly impressed, and she put a faux thinking finger to her lips.

“Weeellllll, you three cunts weren’t exactly subtle about it when Fred was over here, huh? Fuck’s sake did ya three forget that sound travels pretty easily in this house?? Woke yer dad and I up… we ended up having tae fuck just tae get back tae sleep ya inconsiderate fuckwits!”

Sveta’s face and chest physically hurt to concede her mom’s first point, but that was quickly overtaken by a mild look of revulsion from Vona’s latter sayings.

“Right…”

But now, Vona actually looked impressed.

“Hehe… I honestly didn’t think ye had it in you… something like that,” she said…

...and then so matter-of-factly followed that up with:

“The act, I mean. Not his cock.”

“Oh fer shit’s sake… Well, things happen and… yeah. Alcohol’s a helluva drug, mate,” Sveta muttered with her hands sliding down her face. She was not having any of this.

A spirited, yet evil giggle escaped Schiavona’s lips, but she then revealed the real reason that she stopped on by:

“So, when’re you off, love?” she asked.

Sveta was more than happy to get back to ‘normal’ conversation, though she silently admitted to herself that, over the years, she was still not sure what constituted to ‘normal’ conversation in her family.

“Few days. Just packing up now because of a few shows the band and I are playing’ over the next couple days. Don’t wanna come back tired from those and have tae pack.” she answered.

She then further added:

“Fredrick’s been doing some goddamn work in the shadows tae get all of Stella’s friends together. She’s been so busy and concentrated that she’s forgotten when her own birthday is.”

Vona chuckled, shaking her head whilst crossing her arms under her chest again.

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” she said, then moved herself from the doorframe.

She made to leave Sveta’s room but quickly stopped in her tracks and leveled her finger at Sveta:

“By the way, please tell Fredrick ‘thank you’ from both me and yer dad fer invitin’ us. Even though we can’t make it tae celebrate with Stella. It was really thoughtful of him tae offer to bring us down~,” she said…

...almost too dreamily for Sveta’s liking.

“Umm… okay? The way you said that was a bit weird, not gonna lie, mum…” she said.

Vona rolled her eyes.

“Oh just fuckin’ tell him, lass. It’s not every day that one of yer daughters is actually not datin’ somepony who ya hate with the force of Celestia’s sun!”

She then added pointedly:

“And you be sure tae tell him that he better give yer dad and I grandchildren if he knows what’s good for him!”

Sveta exaggeratedly tilted her head back at her mother, and her incredulity mixed with some healthy measure of revulsion had shown through perfectly on her face:

“Really? You do know he’s not even a pony, right? Remember when he first met you? Stella said he can’t even get her pregnant…”

She then muttered under her breath:

“Lucky bitch…”

Vona’s shoulders sagged, her thoughts having been defeated. Still, she added:

“Well, you tell him tae figure that shit out then! If not him and Stella, then you’re it, love!” she pointed right at Sveta’s chest, then patted her a couple times on the shoulder.

Sveta was quite quick to protest, even if she knew her mom was joking… somewhat.

“Fuckin’ Fredrick and Stella haven’t even been together fer a year, and the two aren’t even married, yet! And yer already thinkin’ about kids fer them??” she quickly reminded.

And then promptly added:

“And who the hell am I gonna get knocked up by??”

Vona shrugged indifferently.

“Fuck if I know, mate. That’s yer decision. But both you an’ Stella better start planning on who’s shitting out a couple turd spawns when the time comes!”

She turned on her hooves and made her way out of Sveta’s threshold.

“Because I’ll be damned if I’m stuck just spoiling you two queefbubbles fer the rest of me natural, beautiful life,” she said oh so nonchalantly, and flipped her long mane lusciously over her shoulder for good measure.

Sveta remained stone-faced on the outside.

“Right… I’ll umm… deliver the message,” she acquiesced, then shook her head.

Whatever it took to get her mom to stop talking about this topic, at this point.

Vona smiled brightly.

“Cheers, love! OH! And let Fredrick know that we’d love to see him when your father and I do make it out to Canterlot the following week to see Stella, aye?”

Sveta rolled her eyes whilst she had her back turned to her mom. She’d dealt with her mom’s shennanigans enough for one day, so whatever it took to get her out of her room, she supposed.

“Yeeeess, mum. I’ll relay the message…~” she responded back with little veiling of her lack of patience.

Apparently, Schiavona could sense Sveta's latent tone in trying to push her out, so being a mom, she had to call it out:

“Oi, don't gimme a fuckin’ attitude, lass. I'll put you through a fuckin’ wall, love!”

The analytical side of Sveta took over at an instant as she tried to work out the logistics as to how that threat would work, even in jest:

“Okay, I get you, mum… but realistically, how’re you gonna do that? Yer like, shorter than Stella and that wall is made of stone.”

Another deeper and much more masculine voice broke through the atmosphere, and Sveta found Vampir walking past.

“No, but I will put ye through the fuckin’ wall. All she has to do is give the word,” he said as he took his leave as quickly as he came.

Sveta also witnessed him grab and slap her mom’s ass through her pants, which evoked a pleasure-filled squeak from Vona… and an almost involuntary retch from herself.

“Ach! Honey not now, love~…” Vona purred towards a chuckling Vampir.

She honestly couldn’t wait to leave for a week and live it up in Canterlot. Though that would probably mean that her parents would have some gnarly intercourse all over the house… and maybe even on her bed. She could only hope for the best at this point.

Up until that point though, Sveta could only wonder if Fredrick and Stella were having a less cringeworthy time.

[Back in Canterlot]

Fredrick was resigned to pacing back and forth in front of his bed—hand glued to his mouth—as he pensively went over the current situation he and Stella found themselves in. After all, his thoughts had the ability to dwell there since the whole ‘clothes selection’ was taking a much longer time than Stella herself would even spend on her beautification regimen.

But arguing with her about this was proving to be futile, especially when she was significantly larger than him in all aspects.

Fucking… what the fuck is taking so long? So what if she ruins a shirt or some shorts of mine? Not like I can’t get more. For fuck’s sake thinking about it, she doesn’t even have to…

Fredrick stopped on a dime mid-step.

“Wait a minute…” he said to himself.

With both feet planted on the ground, and with the impending dread of horse dong not being shoved down his throat or up his ass, he was able to think clearly for the first time this morning. And in so doing, he realized something rather poignant out loud:

“Stella doesn’t have to leave the room…”

Fredrick then called suddenly into his walk-in closet:

“Fucking… Stella!”

“What, lad?”

“You don’t have to worry about the clothes. I can take care of this myself!” he announced, already beginning to search for his own suitable clothes for such a quick venture into the castle.

Stella poked her head out of the closet.

“The fuck’re you on about, mate? I’m tryin’ tae get dressed so we can get this shit over with.”

Fredrick shook his head.

“Nonono… just… stay here,” he said, and gestured towards his bed. “I’ll go out and find Celestia. I’ll explain the situation, and then bring her back here.

“She’ll probably laugh at you a little bit, then she’ll undo the potion’s effects. And then you’ll be back to being a mare, and this’ll all blow over!”

Stella appeared to consider his words for a split second before her own rational side was hard reset. She scoffed at no one in particular.

“Oh. Right… fuckin’ duh!”

Fredrick chuckled and jogged his own head in agreement with her.

“Right?? Guess we got caught up in it all. So. No need to ruin any of my shirts or pants then. Just…”

He then gestured open-handed towards his bed.

“Just sit on the bed. Look pretty… or handsome, rather… and I’ll be gone for about five minutes.”

He angled his head away from her, but kept his eyes fixed on hers as he sought her brief approval.

“Sound good?”

Stella seemed rather indifferent to the plan he presented in relation to their original idea. Though to her credit, her trademark impatience for results was beginning to shine through her… masculine exterior.

“At this point, fuck it. Whatever gets me back into bein’ a mare in the flesh is fine by me…”

She then looked down at her pecs and groped with both hands at the air where formerly her breasts would be occupying. She promptly finished with an addendum:

“…with all the boobs and whistles.”

Fredrick snorted, but felt a brief sense of forlornness over Stella’s tits. He sighed out.

“You and me both, Stella…” he said. “You and me both.”

By this point he had thrown on a plain-white, wrinkled t-shirt with the same jeans that he had strewn aside before the previous night’s debauchery. For some semblance of presentation—even though Celestia was one of his closest friends, she was a princess after all—he threw on his jacket to hide the wrinkles of shame.

He then strode towards the door with a swagger and purpose that only a man who wanted the tits and ass back on his girlfriend could muster.

“Alright, I’ll be back…” he announced, and right before he turned the knob to his front door, he pointed directly at the mare-turned-stallion standing butt-ass-naked at the foot of his bed.

“You, my dear… stay the fuck still. Sit on that bed right there, cover yourself with a towel or something when I bring Celestia back. Would rather not traumatize her with that fucking reptile between your legs…” he further mused out loud.

Stella made her way to Fred’s bed and sat on the edge, though she certainly wasn’t all that convinced by Fredrick’s words.

“Mate, ya really think that in all her years of ruling this country, she’s never come face-to-face with a massive cock?”

Fredrick shrugged, and he knew for a fact that he really didn’t want to have this conversation about his—admittedly gorgeous looking and slightly unassuming after all this time—employer and ruler.

“Well, statistically yes, but you know what I mean! Propriety, for shit’s sake!”

Stella giggled—she apparently knew that she was starting to get under his skin, and Fredrick was well aware that she would exploit every bit of that.

“Aye… and all I’m sayin’ is that she’s probably been slapped in the face by some gigantic zebra dick at least two times during diplomatic visits I mean… come on lad!”

And then promptly continued with:

“She’s probably been spitroasted more times than days we’ve been alive. When you live fer that long, excitement becomes something we mere mortals don’t understand!”

“ALRIGHT!” Fredrick interjected while running his hands down his face. He could hear Stella’s infuriating, victorious giggling through the layer of artificial masculinity provided by the potion.

“Yes, she’s definitely not a virgin… now please look presentable for the Solar Princess, alright?”

Stella smiled her iconic smile at him… the one where the right side of her lips curled upward more than the left but bared her fangs just as prominently. The smugness and figurative cheek could be felt miles away, and Fredrick’s amygdala was getting aggressively fingered right now.

“Of course, my dear! Of course I’ll look presentable for Celestia… I mean… she’s the fuckin’ princess after all… You’d have tae be mental to not look somewhat decent… right??”

Fredrick regarded her with utmost suspicion and nodded cautiously.

“Indeed… now, I’ll be right back. Toodaloo~.”

Fredrick shut the door behind him, and then all of his senses immediately went into overdrive.

I need my goddamn girlfriend back already, I can’t handle this. Where’s Celestia? Gotta find Celly…

Fredrick sprinted down the hall and high-tailed it to the path that would take him to the Admin wing of the castle with the least amount of time.

[Back in Fredrick’s room…

Once Fredrick closed his bedroom door behind him, Stella sunk her new vessel of a body into his bed.

Now that all the shenanigans from the start of the whole prank had begun to die down, and the thought of all the potential ramifications of not following clear-set directions given to her by Luna had finally come to fruition… Stella felt a mild wave of fatigue rush over her.

She sighed out and threw herself back onto the bed, and sprawled out as she saw fit to make herself comfortable.

With her arms and legs splayed out messily on either half of her body, she thought about just resting her eyes and letting fate dictate the next couple of minutes. Stella was more than keen in just tuning out the rest of the world for the moment… and then Fredrick would come back through that door with Princess Celestia… and then right after that, she would be a mare once more.

With all the good bits afforded therein.

A gentle breeze that wafted in from the open balcony doors had tickled the fringes of her digits. Said breeze also had the added effect of cooling her hot body down from the activities of this morning, and she didn’t even realize she was lightly sweating at this point.

Stella opened her eyes and turned her head towards the balcony, eyeing beyond the veil of the sheer curtains into the mid-morning, temperate day. Stella curled her lips in deep thought, and then sat up as said thoughts became much more prominent in her mind. Fresh air certainly seemed lovely right now, if only for a few minutes before she would be turned back into a mare.

She eyed towards the bedroom door, and for a couple seconds, saw that nopony was attempting to come in, nor did she hear any activity from beyond.

Stella then glanced back towards the balcony and shrugged.

Fuck it. What’s a bit of a view and some fresh air, anyway? Not like I get that in the barracks.

With a little bit of difficulty from how comfortable Fredrick’s bed happened to be (which is why she would not-so-subtly arrange for their romps to be in his room rather than in her barracks bunk), she hoisted herself out of the silky grasp and got back to her hooves.

Stella waltzed on over towards the balcony and threw open the curtains, discarding the final barrier between her and the world outside the castle. She was greeted with the late-morning sun beaming down on her, but the extra heat afforded there was quickly negated by the gentle breeze that was consistently blowing over the area.

Still unabashedly naked, Stella gently walked over to the edge of the balcony and—like she would when she would spend time with Fredrick—folded her arms on top of the stone railing. She then leaned her weight into it and pressed her face into the wind that was blowing in her general direction.

The cooler air tickled at her face as it wove through her coat and around her body. The wind blew her long, navy blue mane behind her head as a particularly strong gust broke upon her.

Despite feeling completely out of her element, namely the male body with massive dick and all, moments like these were what she lived for. Stella could feel the wayward, genuine smile creeping up her face as the comfortable wind refused to let up. She kept her eyes closed as she imagined herself on a lush, rolling plain somewhere in the middle of the continent, and this evolved into a rare moment of tranquility and solace that she would never squander.

Whatever front she would put up in front of others… in any way that she decided to carry herself and present herself to the world, there were just things that were too beautiful and priceless in this world, in her opinion.

Namely, enjoying nature as it was. A nice walk through the lusher parts of Canterlot and Ponyville were often a luxury when time would afford it to her nowadays.

Her little reverie was broken when she heard one of the softest voice echo into the fringes of her ears… one that sounded like it was coming from a great distance away.

“Heeeeeeeeeeey!”

Stella clenched her eyes tighter, but she opened them fully when the voice returned and she realized that it wasn’t a figment of her imagination.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!”

Stella blinked a couple of times, and drew her gaze all around her below the balcony in any attempt to figure out where the hell the voice was coming from.

“OOOOIIII!” Came a sudden beckoning from down in front.

Stella focused right where the voice came from, and right across the castle moat, the balcony overlooked a park. Within that park under the shadow of the largest tree stood a lone stallion with a bottle of something in his hands.

And from what she could then see, he began waving at her.

She blinked, cocked an eyebrow, and took a good look around to see if there was anypony else who would warrant the beckoning… but seeing as she was the only pony visible on any balconies or arches aside from the occasional Guard, she knew then that this random pony was most likely attempting to contact her.

Stella shrugged and called back with explicit confusion in her extremely masculine tone:

“WHAAAAAT?!”

“ARE YOU A NORTHERN BATPONY?!” the unknown stallion called back through hollowed hands.

Stella could also detect a slight slurring through those words, and in again noticing the bottle in one of his hands, she put two-and-two together that this stallion was probably on some end of drunk. Even further than that, she could detect a hint of southern mountain range accent in his tone.

This was another batpony. For sure.

But that didn’t make the question any less odd and out of place, though Stella figured anything went when alcohol was involved. Even more than that, she couldn’t figure out why she decided to indulge:

“AYE….!? WHAT ABOUT IT, LAD?!”

There was a brief moment of silence that was just on the border of uncomfortable considering the situation. But said silence was broken when her conversational partner shouted back:

“FUCK YOUUUUU! NORTHIE!”

Stella physically recoiled her head after a hard blink. While she was no stranger to straight up profanity fights, this was certainly unexpected in the middle of the day in public, and in a place that was not super populated by other batponies.

Still, Stella never had any intention of any sleights going unresponded to. With an underlying incredulity, she shouted back.

“FUCK YOU, MATE! YA FUCKIN’ SOUTHERN-RANGED CUNT!”

Her partner flailed his arms and pointed at her.

“FUCK YOU, YA NORTHERN WALLHANGER!”

Stella was again struck stupid at the use of an incredibly archaic slur for batponies… even more so that it came from another batpony.

“FUCKIN’... YER A FUCKIN’ WALLHANGER TOO, YA FUCKIN’ WALLHANGER! FUCK YOU, WALLHANGER!!”

Stella didn’t even notice a passing mare glare daggers up at her as she covered her child’s ears… and then rushed themselves onward from the scene.

Her conversational partner lifted the bottle in his hand.

“OI! GUESS WHAT I DID WITH THIS BOTTLE EARLIER TODAY, MATE!”

Stella had an inkling of where this was going… in fact, she knew exactly where this was going. She also knew deep down that the right, logical, and rational thing to do right now would be to tell the drunkard to fuck off, give him the human gesture of ‘flipping the bird,’ and then go back inside and await the return of Fredrick with Princess Celestia in tow.

She knew this. She knew this well. But she also was experiencing something else… a primal tickling of her batpony amygdala by a verbal confrontation that always stimulated her in all the right places.

So, she indulged.

“WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU DO, MATE?! I SWEAR TAE SHIT IF YA BRING ME FUCKIN’ FAMILY INTO THIS…!”

“NAH MATE, I DRANK ALL OF IT!”

Stella blinked.

“OH…”

Her southern-range conversational partner promptly added:

“AND THEN I FUCKED YER FAMILY UP THE COMMUNAL ARSE, CUNT! HAH!”

Stella could practically feel her eyes burning with a red rage. If finger pointing could kill, this mad lad would’ve been killed so hard, he would’ve died to death.

“FUCK. YOU. CUNT! GO BACK SOUTH TAE THESTRALIA YA FUCKIN’ ‘YO-HO-HO-AND-A-BOTTLE-O’-CUM’ SHITE-DICK!”

“FUCK YOUUUUUUU YA SLACK CUNT!”

Stella was practically jumping out of her male body and leaning halfway over the guard railing as she projected her irrational Northern Range fury down below.

“FUCK YOU, YA TINT POOF SOUTHERN CUNT! I’LL FUCKIN’ COME DOWN THERE AND I’LL FUCKIN’ DISSECT YOU WITH A PLAGUE-LACED SPOON AND USE YER FUCKIN’ BOLLOCKS FER FUCKIN’ BUTTONS ON ME UNIFORM!”

Two sudden, imperious, foreign voices interjected loudly into the conversation from below.

“What the fuck’s going on here?!”

“Where’s that goddamn yelling coming from?”

Stella’s shouting match suddenly stopped when two Royal Guards—one mare and one stallion—had wandered into the area to investigate. And they both locked eyes with Stella…

...Stella, who was just brought back to the reality that she was not ‘herself’ at the moment. Apparently this was the correct concept to think about, especially when the guards pointed up to her.

“Wait… that’s Fredrick Himmelreich’s room! Only he, the Princesses, or Lieutenant Sabre are allowed to be there!” the mare noted.

“Identify yourself!” came the fateful command from the stallion solar soldier.

Aww shit.

She held her hands out defensively.

“Alright lads, I know this may look weird but there’s a really good explanation fer all of this…”

Stella was then promptly reminded of another poignant fact when her admittedly poor attempt to get the guard off her case was interrupted by one of those guards:

“What the…” the mare said, pointing up at her again. “Is he naked?”

Stella looked down again and found her massive horse dick poking through the small columns of the guard rail via her yet-to-be-diminished morning wood, effectively exposing herself to all of the Princess’ domain.

“Fuck!”

Her eyes widened and she hurriedly tried to bat her dick into submission. Never once had she ever thought the thought of cutting off one of her appendages cross her mind—temporary or not.

Stella then froze in position when she heard the words that she most certainly did not want to hear from the guardsmare below:

“You—get up there and question him. Now.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Stella nearly shit herself when she heard flapping—the guard was a pegasus and literally heading up to her as she wallowed in her thoughts.

Despite her military training beginning to kick in, Stella also calmed herself to the thought that this would be a good time to set the record straight. All she would have to do was be polite, explain the situation, and then hopefully Fredrick would be back by this point with the Princess in tow to clear up this whole misunderstanding.

She scurried back into the room and decided to sit down on the edge of the bed and patiently wait for the inevitable arrival of the solar guard stallion… but not before hastily wrapping her now-masculine waist in a towel for good measure. The irony of wanting to get dressed for a guard and not the princess was not lost on her.

Stella rolled her eyes and glared something deadly at her morning boner that refused her commands to abate thus far. It continued to stand proudly as it lifted her towel to the point it was useless.

Fuckin’ shit boner… absolute fuckin’ cunt you are. I swear if I live through this I’ll suck Fredrick’s dick dry every morning so he doesn’t have to go through this shite ever...

Come on Fredrick… hurry the fuck up now, please…

As she expected, Stella didn’t have to wait very long for some new company… company in the form of a fully armored solar guard stallion landing menacingly on the balcony. She watched him stomp into the room proper with a purpose, with his armor clinking and grinding naturally in a way most familiar to her when she herself would be fully suited up.

Stella sized up her opposition for the moment, and found a solar guard as she would have expected. His coat was off-white with somewhat noticeable green eyes, and judging from how clean he still looked, he was likely fresh on his shift. She noticed no kinks, scuffs, or scratches on his armor, and Stella figured that this Sol was likely a newer recruit… which she then confirmed by finding the stripe on his chest that indicated ‘Private.’ His build was definitely fit… lean, but fit no less.

His hand rested at the ready on the hilt of his sword as he stared down her.

“Private Tungsten, Second Platoon, Her Majesties’ Solar Guard Corps. Identify yourself. Now.”

Stella stood up and held her hands out defensively once more.

“Alright look… just allow me to explain what’s going on here…”

She saw him tighten his grip on his sword hilt.

“I won’t ask you again! Identify yourself before I arrest you!”

Once Stella had stood up and realized that she had a bit of height on this guard… as well as muscular stature due to the potion (which she still didn’t understand how that worked at all), she getting stared down and threatened by a solar guard—of all ponies—was just slightly less intimidating.

Even though he had a weapon and she didn’t.

So, she rolled her eyes and sighed out.

“Lieutenant Stella Sabre. Fourth Platoon, Their Majesties’ Lunar Guard Corps,” she formally introduced herself.

She wasn’t lying about that at all, but in her mind, when things inevitably went to shit, she figured that she would at least have her bases covered by not telling any lies.

The lean solar guard blinked… then blinked again as he looked her up and down. It became increasingly obvious to Stella that—based strictly on her looking like a stallion—her answer was not all that satisfactory.

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that shit? I should arrest you right now for even attempting to impersonate a royal guard! Let alone a commissioned officer!” he threatened.

Stella knew deep down that she shouldn’t hold this against this unknowing solar guard. Despite the prevalence of magic and all of its lovely outcomes and effects, transformation magic was not as well-known… and it was often attributed to Changeling agent fuckery.

But even so, that primal part of her brain was getting stimulated as she was getting threatened by a solar guard no less. Her urge to commit violence in self-defense had already risen within her once-smaller body, and she was doing her damned best given the circumstances.

She was just a little miffed that her rage cap had not scaled with the size-increase of her body.

Still, she stayed her temper and thumbed over her shoulder back towards her discarded clothes from the previous evening:

“I can grab me badge if you like. Private, it was a prank gone wrong with a potion… and now I’m a stallion until Fredrick and the Princess can get back and undo this bullshit. Sounds retarded, I know… but I assure you mate, it’s the truth. Swear on me mum,” she said coolly.

As Stella had expected, the guard shook his head, his steely expression not changing in the slightest.

“No, I think I’ve heard quite enough,” he said, then pointed to some of the clothes scattered on the ground.

“Put some clothes on. You’re coming with me. Let’s go.”

Stella wasn’t particularly fazed by that threat.

“No… No I don’t think I will,” she said, shaking her head, unimpressed.

She wasn’t going anywhere until Fredrick came back with the Princess. Even more than that, she wasn’t going to be ordered around by some solar guard.

Said solar guard stiffened his posture.

“Are you defying and resisting arrest?” he asked quite plainly.

Stella had enough of playing nice right now, and decided to opt for what she would consider more neutral speech for her:

“Aye, what the fuck does it sound like I’m doin’? I’m not fuckin’ going anywhere! I’m waiting here until me coltfriend gets back and Celestia turns me back in a mare. Yer more than welcome tae sit in the fuckin’ corner there and have a wank to yer mum while we wait!”

It appeared her power to stop ponies in their tracks with her sheer lexicon alone had not diminished with her genderswap, as there was a stiff silence that spoke volumes between her and the guard.

But it didn’t last too long, as said guard merely shrugged—seemingly completely uncaring. He then began cracking his knuckles.

“Suit yourself then.”

Stella deep down felt almost giddy about this… she had wanted to kick the shit out of anypony in the Solar Guard for as long as she could remember. However, with help on the horizon, even she figured it was best to have discretion, even if the extra testosterone in her vessel was causing some problems on that front.

She could see the first punch coming a mile away, and with newfound strength courtesy of her male body, it was as simple matter of catching the punch to her face in her open palm with barely a flinch on her part… something that she would’ve not so easily been able to do with her normal form.

Showing the aforementioned restraint that she needed to value at the moment, Stella shoved him away. She then opened her arms to (in her mind at least) convey a truce.

“Let’s not do this, laddie. Believe me… you don’t want to. Just wait here for Fredrick and the Princess to return, and this’ll all blow over, aye? Cheers?”

Despite the stunned silence that existed between the two of them, the guard launched himself at her again, this time with a perfect-formed roundhouse kick to what would’ve been Stella’s torso… and by her own training and reflex, she beat her wings once and dashed backward, which forced her opponent to overshoot her.

With his back now suddenly exposed to her, Stella gave a warning, yet firm kick to the small of his back… which shoved him away yet again with a bit of a yelp.

She then stared him down again, then almost pleadingly added:

“Mate, I’m begging you… don’t. Let’s please not do this… I really don’t want to have to hurt you, especially when my transformation back kinda depends on me being here. But believe me…” she further warned…

...and then adopted a much darker complexion.

“I gladly will, if ya force me, aye? I’ve been waitin’ fer a time tae kick the everlovin’ piss outta yer kind. Don’t give me an excuse!

“Please…” her voice dipped lower.

“Don’t give me an excuse.”

She extended her olive branch, and put forth a truce that she would gladly abide by, even with a solar guard… her sworn rivals. The fate of her femininity was kinda dependent on it, so she was more than willing to make a few concessions on a couple established norms. Extenuating circumstances and all.

But back at her stared Private Tungsten, who was completely done with her perceived shit at the moment. His complexion and composure had been fully broken under Stella’s better trained finesse, combined with her new physique. His brows were furrowed, and his teeth were gritted—back at her stared an opponent who did not appear to have an inroad with his own ability against her.

She was in control. But of course, Stella was always in control.

“By… order of the Royal Guard…” Tungsten spoke through labored, frustrated breaths. “You are under arrest!”

He then placed his hand on the hilt of his sword, a move that was more than flagged by Stella’s predatorial senses.

“You will comply or I’ll be forced to use de—”

Stella would absolutely not stand for a weapon being drawn on her, and that would be a fight that she intended to end at any and every turn.

Stella cut off his formalities when she immediately closed the distance and attempted to drive her massive knee through the plating of his abdomen and into his stomach. Spittle and drool fell down the sides of his agape mouth as he doubled over and down to a single knee, his midsection completely scrunched up under now-clearly dented plating.

She then moved to put the guard out of action and eliminate the danger to herself with a follow-up heel-kick to his chest, but in turning her waist, her still erect snake of an erection smacked into the poor lad’s face with a flat, wet-sounding slap.

The sheer density behind the tubesteak leveled the poor fellow onto his back, and the solar guard was effectively out of commission.

Stella stood there stunned as she stared at the incapacitated guard at her hooves… though she felt absolutely no remorse. Only awe coursed through her being as she fully grasped the concept of knocking somepony out with her dick.

Holy fuck!

Stella absolutely couldn’t help the undignified giggle that escaped her lips… nor the girly bouncing on her tippy-hooves.

“Clocked ‘im with me cock! I cocked ‘im! Hah!”

[Elsewhere in the Castle | A Few Minutes Later]

“You’re kidding. You’re kidding me, right?” came Princess Celestia’s querying voice, laced with no less than half that of undeniable humor.

Fredrick sighed, though he couldn’t deny himself the smile that was creasing across his face as he strode at an easy pace next to Celestia.

“Nope. This happened today, and as I somehow would’ve come to expect, Stella bungled it. So, with Luna gone, we were hoping you’d be able to kinda… maybe… fix this with some weird magic?” he asked, anxiousness scrawled all over his face in graffiti.

He looked over at Celestia and watched as she rolled her eyes… though her face was plastered with a bright, beaming smile. She, too, sighed out but punctuated herself with a regal giggle of her own.

“I’m sure I can… I’ve been around to put out more magical fires than I care to admit over the last couple thousand years. Though… a transformation or transmutation spell is a result I haven’t seen in a good long while…”

She then glanced over and down at Fredrick with a rather cheeky simper.

“And I’m always down for a good laugh. So there’s that too. We’ll get this all fixed, and you’ll have your marefriend—and Luna shall have her next Lunar Guard Captain—back in no time!” Celestia assured.

Fredrick felt relieved, but the moment he heard those extra words inserted into her sentence, he did a massive double take when looking back at Celestia.

“Whoa wait… did you say ‘Captain?’” he bade elaboration.

Celestia angled her face again over towards him, and he was met with another knowing, cheeky smirk that had come to define his relationship with the Equestrian co-ruler for his entire tenure.

“Yup! Luna’s giving it some real thought since Captain Aero Fang is considering retiring soon. While she doesn’t see her right away as leader of the Lunar Guard, she feels she’s really starting to get up there,” Celestia informed.

Fredrick’s starry-eyed feeling welled up within him, especially on Stella’s behalf… though at the same time, he figured this likely wasn’t public knowledge and he couldn’t just run over to her and tell her. Nevertheless, this was something the two of them had joked about in between their normal conversations, and never expected it to have come to this… at least this early on in her career.

“Whoa… that’s… that’s amazing!” he said, stumbling over his breaths.

Celestia confirmed his initial thoughts when she leveled a cautionary finger at him.

“Don’t tell her. You can talk to Luna about it, but that’s just for your ears only. Okay?” she asked.

Fredrick nodded wholeheartedly.

“Don’t worry. Secret’s safe with me—I’m sure she’d prefer to be surprised in the future when her merit comes to pass for it,” he said.

Celestia smiled.

“I’d be inclined to agree.”

Their little reverie was quashed when they came to an intersection of their path with another on the trek back to Fredrick’s room. They were suddenly cut off by a cadre of six solar guards who were high-tailing it towards the wing where Fredrick’s room was. Even more concerning was that they all had their swords drawn. Two even had rifles unslung.

Fredrick stood completely still next to Celestia, and the two shared a simultaneous look of concern at one another.

“Ummm… that’s definitely not good,” Fredrick dared to note.

Celestia pursed her lips, and consternation on her face could be well documented.

“Yeah… nothing good comes from guards running. Especially towards your room. Let’s go,” she said with the utmost seriousness.

To Fred, her tone brooked no argument and he quickly fell into step.

His heart was racing the entire time their combined hooves and feet fell against the castle floor, and though he could’ve easily sprinted on ahead, Fredrick figured it was best to stay at Celestia’s pace.

You know, because she was co-contender for most powerful being on this earth. He was also mildly curious as to why she didn’t immediately teleport the two of them to his room to be safe… though he figured that there was literally no excitement in that.

After a good minute of a heavy jog (and Fredrick unwittingly stealing a few glances at a… bouncy Celestia), the two rounded the last corner that led to the hall where his room resided.

That’s where they found a quarter of a platoon of solar guards stacking up on either side of Fredrick’s open room door, with a healthy mix of swords and rifles drawn. Lined up on the sides of his door, all parties were barking orders frantically to each other.

“Come on, man! Go! Go now!”

“Fuck you, I’m not going there by myself!

“Not by yourself, idiot! We’re going all at once!”

Fredrick decided to cut in right then:

“Umm…!” he said as he stood there, dumbfounded. “Does someone wanna explain why there’s a goddamn army outside my—”

Another unfortunate solar guard was jettisoned from inside his room by an unseen force with a horrified scream on his part, and comically collapsed like a ragdoll motionless with a bruised and bloody face. Another close look revealed another set of twitching hands hanging out of the doorway.

Fredrick also heard definitively—from inside his room—what sounded like a goose getting strangled and molested at the exact same time, while somepony was kinkshaming the poor thing.

“JESUS CHRIST what the FUCK?!” he said, recoiling.

Fred’s exclamation drew the attention of the entire cadre of troops, however, and all demeanors changed when they laid eyes on the Solar Princess accompanying him.

The guardsmare who looked exactly like the commanding officer of the group stepped forward and addressed Princess Celestia directly:

“Your Highness… I must ask you to please stay back. There’s an intruder in Mister Himmelreich’s room and we’ve ascertained that—”

Celestia calmly raised her open palm to her:

“It’s quite alright, Lieutenant Solara. Please, call off your troops—there’s no cause for alarm…” she said, conferring her motherly tone in the best way she knew possible over her millennia of existence.

She then gestured towards Fredrick.

“Isn’t that right, Fred?”

Fredrick took the cue from Celestia to take a step forward and reiterate her point more in depth.

“Yeah ummm… the stallion that’s in my room is actually my marefriend, whom some of you may know as Lieutenant Stella Sabre of the Lunar Guard…?” he wagered to ask, to at least get the conversation going.

Captain Solara literally recoiled from how hard she blinked in absolute incredulity.

“Ummm… That’s Stella?”

Another guard piped up:

“The stallion is your marefriend…?”

Fredrick cursed himself.

Right. ‘Prolly should’ve mentioned that part first.

“Oh, right…” he continued, nodding while gesturing vaguely. “Yeah Princess Luna gave her a potion that she used in trying to prank me that genderbent her. It backfired pretty spectacularly because she decided not to read instructions properly so here we are. Make sense?”

Every single guard silently locked eyes with one another, one after the other. All fifteen of them.

“Umm…”

A rather familiar voice interjected from inside Fredrick’s room:

“I FUKKIN’ TOLD YOU, CUNTS!”

Fredrick yelled admonishingly towards his room. They didn’t need any tone nor words that could potentially ‘renew hostilities,’ as it were:

“STELLA!”

Celestia stepped in and leveled a calming hand in front of Fredrick.

“It’s quite alright,” she said, and then addressed her soldiers as a whole. “Guards, please stand down and return to your original posts,” she then calmly ordered.

Another look was shared between all the guards before Lieutenant Solara pursed her lips, shrugged, then turned back to her troops.

“Alright guys. Stand down, disengage, and report back to barracks for debriefing. Let’s go…” she then also gestured to her downed soldiers, who were just vaguely starting to stir.

“And… get them up and to the infirmary to get checked out.”

A simple, curt chorus sounded in response:

“Yes Ma’am!”

Swords were sheathed and rifles were slung on backs as the squad began scurrying back into formation. At the same time, pairs of silent volunteers picked up their downed, writhing comrades off the ground. Fredrick stared in awe as they got into formation and filed off down the hall… and he also witnessed the bruised and bloodied faces of some of the unfortunate soldiers… as well as viciously dented armor plating.

Jesus Christ…

Celestia physically flinched a little bit as she saw her wounded troops literally being hauled away. She called out towards her departing loyals:

“And get them some… I don’t know… medals? Maybe?”

She then sighed out, shook her head, and glanced back at Fredrick who was trying not to laugh at her rather nonchalant words and approach to this whole situation. Apparently she was able to read Fredrick’s expression like a book, and he was asked the obvious with an equally obvious expression on her face:

“Fredrick, are you alright?” she said with a knowing smile.

Fred smirked.

“Oh yeah. Totally… though we should probably go inside…” he said, thumbing towards his room.

Celestia certainly seemed to agree with that.

“Indeed! Shall we?” she directed with an open palm.

Fredrick took the lead as she offered it.

“Yup!” he said, and then called out to Stella as he led the last few paces to his room:

“Stella! You good!?”

Fredrick crossed the threshold into his room first and found an incredibly naked Stella just as he had left her not even ten minutes earlier. She seemed absolutely no worse for wear, and in fact, she beamed brightly at him with a smile and sparkle in her masculine visage most familiar.

“Aye!” she exclaimed. “Fuckin’ got tae kick the shit outta some Sols while swinging this dick around like some fuckin’ morning star! Never been better, love!”

Fredrick’s need to bust out laughing at that imagery was immediately superseded by the fact that Stella was completely naked and had done none of the covering up that Fredrick had asked her to do. As such, he made sure to convey the seriousness of it and urged her to scurry for some clothes with the appropriate hand motions:

“STELLA!” he exclaimed through a hushed tone. “For fuck’s sake, woman! Put a goddamn towel on will ya?”

None of that could be actioned, as Princess Celestia’s voice cut into the conversation just as she crossed the threshold into Fredrick’s room.

“WOW that’s a deep voice I he—PFFFFFFFT!”

Celestia slapped her hand to her mouth as an involuntary guffaw was just about to eject itself from her entire being. She secured her other hand to her muzzle for good measure as she lurched forward… and then squeaked (dare Fredrick say, hilariously cutely) as she stumbled back out the door.

Fredrick and Stella stared blankly as Celestia stumbled out of view right outside the bedroom door… then locked eyes for the briefest moment when they heard the Solar Princess absolutely, unabashedly lose her shit through cackling laughter.

This went on for a good thirty seconds before Fredrick heard the Princess compose herself, clear her throat, then strolled back into his room in a way that was most dignified for her—completely calm and collected, like nothing had even happened earlier.

“Well…” she finally spoke, clearing her throat once more and seemingly regarding Stella in a ‘normal’ fashion. “It appears that Luna gave you some rather… potent stuff.”

Celestia strode up to her and eyed her up, down, and around in a scientific manner, though Fredrick could sort of see her eyesight line up one-too many times with ‘Stella’s dick.’

Stella, to her credit, didn’t seem to care, and only replied to Celestia with a rather uncharacteristic uncertainty in her tone:

“Aye, Your Highness… is it reversible?”

Celestia did her damn best to quell the sudden deep laughter that was about to exit out her mouth, and ultimately was able to stifle it. However, it partially escaped with a small squeak out of her mouth at Stella’s words.

She recomposed herself in the blink of an eye, and Fredrick was most certainly impressed that she was able to keep her Princessly visage the entire time. Watching an ethereal being come back from the brink of losing her shit was something he could cross off his bucket list.

“Luna is… certainly the more potion-minded one of us both. Seriously, she can make some insane stuff that I’d never think of. But, since this was supposed to be only a small pranking potion…”

Fredrick watched as Celestia pointed her index finger right between Stella’s eyes. Her horn then glowed, and softly emitted a golden hue as she then dragged her finger down in a straight line down Stella’s face… then down her neck, her collar bone, between her pecs, down her abs… and then lingered a little bit too long on her cock.

That same soft glow that Fredrick witnessed around Celestia’s horn, he then saw encapsulate an anxious Stella. Once the glow receded after a few moments, a lightness most fond to Fredrick’s heart warmed him to the core when he found Stella standing in the same place that she was merely seconds earlier…

...only this time, nude… and in the female flesh as he had always come to know her.

All glowing in the room had subsided. And that’s when the newly female-returned Stella immediately looked down at herself. She then wasted absolutely no time in frantically feeling herself up.

“Ahh!!” she exclaimed in a feminine tone that was much more welcome. “Tits…” she cupped her chest, and was extremely excited when her funbags overflowed her hands just a little bit.

“Ass?” she cupped her ass, and squeezed to ensure proper hardness was still present from her countless hours of work that she put in.

“Perfect figure??” she followed up with the fateful question, and ran her hands down her tummy, her hips, and over her legs.

Fredrick was also running down her body with his eyes. Barely a day without it and he already missed so much about it.

Goddamn what a mare!

Stella thrust her fist into the air victoriously.

“Back in action!!”

Fredrick smiled widely and stepped forward. Never had he been happier to see Stella again.

“Fuck yeah!”

He then turned to a proudly smiling Celestia:

“Celly… thank you. Really, so goddamn much. I—we owe you big time,” he blurted out. “Thanks for getting my marefriend back in good order.”

Fredrick didn’t notice Stella look to him with a fondness that he always loved… as well as progressively lidding eyes and bitten lips, but Celestia definitely noticed it.

And much to Fredrick’s slight weirdness, Celestia blurted out her next couple sentences in quick succession:

“You’ve done plenty to help me, too, so I’m always happy to lend you a hand when you need it so in that case I think I’ll leave you two to your own devices bye!”

And she bounded out and magically shut the door behind her.

Fredrick was left watching said bedroom door with multiple levels of confusion and incredulity. Of all that had happened today, barely being noon, he wasn’t sure how to respond to… really anyone’s antics.

“Ummm… okay then. Well. Now that things have calmed down for now, why don’t we—”

The moment Fredrick turned around, he was met with Stella’s bedroom eyes smashing into his face, lips-first. And once he felt her breasts pressing into his chest as they should have, and when his hand instinctively fell on her firm ass with just the right amount of squish, he knew all was right with the world.

He let his eyes fall shut, and let out a gentle moan as their arms wrapped around each other.

Fredrick let Stella yank him back toward the bed, and relinquished full control to her.

Well… that was a thing.

23. Where We Stand

Author's Note

Splitting this off on it's own from the rest of the 'original chapter'--RADICALLY different themes

23. Where We Stand

The sex was spectacular.

Not that it had never been spectacular at any point during their relationship… but as Fredrick lay in bed, eyelids heavy and laden with fatigue at the ceiling for the second time today, he felt it was worth mentally noting this time around for a number of reasons.

Namely, his mind was awash in the sheer volume of passion that they—more so Stella—had bestowed upon one another. Fredrick couldn’t remember a time other than their absolute first time together that such raw, unbridled feeling for one another had come out full force.

It was like the two of them had been away for a long while. In some sense, perhaps that was the case.

Just thinking about it was making him smile… but even more than that, even after all the ball-busting intercourse the two had just had, these thoughts were stirring his loins again. Fredrick was internally floored at the very concept that his dick had any life in it by this point… drained of all essence by the vampire that was Stella’s vagina…

…and face.

…and tits.

…and stomach.

…and asscheeks.

But most importantly—for Fredrick at least—was that these thoughts of passion for the mare lying next to him not only made his actual peepee hard. It also made the peepee of his heart throb like a broken arm after a long night of Olympic-grade anal fisting and sphincter curling.

And he felt that heart throbbing become so much more pronounced when he realized that he was still holding Stella’s right hand in his left. That’s when he had lost all control of the smile that broke out on his face, and through the windows of his tired eyes, he knew that all was right with the world.

Perhaps Stella’s literal hour-long stint as a stallion made him—on some odd level—appreciate more of what he had?

Fredrick then let his head fall limply, where his left cheek lay on his pillow so he could have a look at his beauty of a marefriend.

He felt his stomach drop slightly when he realized that Stella not only wasn’t looking back at him but did not seem to harbor nearly the same sentiment that he did. In fact, she was just… staring—staring straight at the ceiling with a seemingly blank expression. It was a stoicism that he had rarely seen from her… only during formal Guard events.

Uh oh…

Fredrick felt it was high-time to break the now-unnatural silence. He was well-aware it would be some bad juju to know something was up with the mare that he loved and not act on it.

“Hey… you okay, Stella?”

Stella angled her head toward him after half a second and locked her eyes with his. She managed a half-smile before turning back towards the ceiling and nestling her naked body further in her sanctuary of bedsheets. Part of her golden gaze was masked by her now-unkempt mane.

“I’m fine, mate. Cheers fer askin’.”

Fredrick deadpanned. That sentence right there—more ‘formal’ than she had ever been since they first met—was a second red flag.

He propped his head up with his elbow and figuratively nudged his way into her line of sight. He knew that simply inquiring on her thoughts when she would retreat behind her mental defenses would get him nowhere. He had to rap repeatedly on the door to her mind.

“We were doing so well… and after all this time you’re gonna start going soft and not tell me the truth straight-up, babe?”

Fredrick knew that distinctive eye-roll from her. The sudden appearance of her snaggle-fang and the prominence of her literal tongue-in-cheek—she had just been called out and did not like it one bit. What he didn’t anticipate, however, was Stella untangling her hand from his—having suddenly severed their silent little connection.

“Could ya not do this, love? I don’t fuckin’ appreciate it right now,” Stella said.

Fredrick recoiled slightly—that certainly wasn’t the string of words he was expecting from her… especially with the sheer force of annoyance behind them.

“Well then…” he prefaced, making no effort to veil his sarcastic front to his offense.

“I don’t particularly appreciate the sudden attitude when I’m trying to just see why you’re obviously upset… but that’s okay,” he said, then shrugged as he lay back down fully.

“UGH!” Stella exclaimed, to which she promptly followed up with:

“Fuck. OFF. Mate!”

Fredrick watched with absolutely no amusement as Stella let her balled-up fists fall limply on either side of her.

He cocked an eyebrow.

“Ummm… what?”

Stella then raised her voice.

“Just!” Stella said with a pointed finger straight at the ceiling before staying her temper just a bit.

“…let it go, love…” she finished through clenched teeth.

Fredrick was completely flabbergasted, now. For a good long while today, the two were in the throes of passion—eyes never leaving their locks on one another as they put every ounce of love that they had into the act.

Though completely in the dark and wholly blindsided by Stella’s emotional about-face, he had enough sense about him to approach this with caution:

“Stella… where the hell is this coming from?” he dared to ask.

He watched and waited for some type of answer… but again, Stella retreated into her form and went uncharacteristically silent. He did notice one extra detail this time around, though—he started seeing those wide eyes of hers misting over.

And from what he could read of her this far into their relationship, all Fredrick could see (and sense) was indecisiveness.

No anger.

No malice.

No sadness, even.

Just pure frustration. Confusion… a rare instance of her seemingly not knowing what to do with herself.

Fredrick had been waiting for an answer with bated breath for several seconds by this point… again, another red flag considering Stella was right on point—tip of the spear—with a witty insult. Hell, she always had to have the first foray into conversation.

Now, Fredrick may not have been a wise man. But he now had some inclination that something was bothering Stella on a deeper level than he had thought previously.

Well… no fucking shit.

Stella locked eyes with him again, and she suddenly adopted a deer-in-the-headlights complexion. To Fredrick, it seemed that he maybe was not supposed to see that from that ever prideful marefriend of his.

Before he could go into full protective boyfriend mode, Stella swung her legs from under the covers and sat on the edge of the bed.

Away from him.

Instantly, he was reminded of the ‘incident’ that they had a few months prior—when they had been visiting her family that week. He was reminded of that ‘look’ she had the moment she came out of that vivid nightmare of… whatever she was having.

Things suddenly seemed very… related.

He crossed his legs lotus-style on the bed and faced Stella, even if she wouldn’t face him.

“You know I’m not gonna let this go, right?” he asked rhetorically, then shook his head.

“Not this time.”

Fred saw Stella visibly tense up at that, especially as he saw her naked, powerful back muscles contract.

But finally, she spoke over her shoulder, and the seething venom she spewed could probably kill half of Equestria.

“Fredrick… I’m warning you… It’s not yer fuckin’ business,” she said, balling her fists white.

He nearly doubled over laughing at Stella’s ‘threat.’

She may have been extremely aggressive—and had many a time where her hair-trigger temper got her into serious trouble. But even with her penchant for threats of physical violence, he knew better than to fear her in that way.

Stella would never touch him in a manner to harm him in malice. This he would willingly bet every facet of his life on…

…and which made it even funnier to him. It further confirmed in the back of his mind that this was more of a defense mechanism and reflex rather than an actual threat she intended to act upon.

So, he giggled. And stood up off the bed in all his naked glory.

“Oh piss… OFF, Stella!” he said, rather amused, yet unamused at the exact same time.

And it was clear to him, by her sudden jerking around to face him, that was not the answer she expected.

Fred lent false consideration to her words, and let the liquid sarcasm just pool on the floor under his mouth:

“Yeah… we could go that route. And what? I can fuckin’… go to back to work and when Celestia asks about a bruise on my face, I friggin’ tell her I fell down the stairs or some shit? That I ran into a doorframe?”

Stella flinched, recoiled as if Fredrick actually struck her on the face.

She then looked down to her still-balled up fists and regarded them with the same confusion Fredrick witnessed earlier.

He continued to press her:

“Then what? Because you know full well that Celestia will act and tell Luna immediately. Then knowing her, she’ll level a demerit on your record so large—and subsequently beat the ever-loving shit out of you so efficiently—you’ll shit pancakes for the rest of your life,” he said.

He knew she was listening, but Stella continued to regard herself… not with confusion anymore, but with a profound sullenness that was written all over her face:

Shame.

“Is that what you want, Stella? Is that what you’re envisioning in that beautiful—rational—head of yours right now? Because I know… as retarded as you can be, you’re one of the smartest ponies I know!” Fredrick asked seriously, not expecting to garner any response.

He didn’t get any.

Stella was holding her responses in and attempting to bury them down in her own disgust of herself… at least, that’s what Fred thought he was seeing.

He leveled his hands at her in truce:

“Or… OR…” he began anew. “We could come together like functioning adults—like marefriend and boyfriend—and you can tell me what’s really bothering you, so I can help you get through it.”

Stella didn’t seem to care that he was seeing her this way anymore, as she snapped her gaze directly onto him—her eyes were bloodshot and were tearing heavily.

Fred nearly lost his cool at how much she was hurting right now. The sudden onset of this… episode was the last thing on his mind suddenly.

Stella fought back tears and a storm of rage within her as she cautiously stayed her tone in her response:

“I don’t need yer help, Fredrick… what don’t you understand about that?” she said through gritted teeth.

Fred crossed his arms.

“Oh, I understand you one-hundred percent. We speak the same language after all. I’m just electing to ignore your bullshit,” he said.

Stella’s mouth opened several times, but no response was forthcoming.

In fact, she was stunned silly.

Again, Fredrick offered her a way out:

“And fuck’s sake, babe… you don’t have to do this alone… I’m here for you. For anything you could ever need! Hell, if you don’t want to talk to me, please just talk to someone,” he said, pleading.

Stella’s hostile response was immediate… and expected:

“I don’t need anypony’s FUCKIN’ help! I can handle this on me own!” she said.

Fredrick had an immediate counter for that, and he pointed directly at her:

“Yeah, and? How’s that been working out for you after all this time, Stella?”

Her words stopped on a dime, and she averted her gaze completely.

Fredrick nodded knowingly.

“Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought. More like ‘it hasn’t.’”

Silence reclaimed the domain once more. The cool wind blowing in from outside also served to cool the general atmosphere. Fredrick could feel the tension slowly die down as they took a breather from talking.

Stella angled her head back up to meet Fredrick’s face. He could feel every ounce of emotion within her, as those golden pools told him just how much she was aching. At the same time, he did well to silently try and convey that everything was going to be alright…

…that he was here for her.

…that he loved her.

And deep down, he could only hope he was doing this daily… or whenever he got the chance to see her. Uncertainty began to bubble up deep within his core as the silence dragged on, which quickly fermented into anxiety.

Am I doing something wrong?

Am I to blame for this?

What would make her not want to talk to me about something, when she’s open about the most salacious details of her life?

Did… Did I fuck up somehow?

He cleared his throat and took a couple steps forward towards his marefriend.

“Now… I’m not trying to pry. You’re hurting. And as your boyfriend all I want to do is help you overc—”

Stella exploded.

“ALRIGHT!

“IT’S FRAGILE! IT’S FUCKIN’ FRAGILE’ FER FUCKS SAKE, FRED!” she roared.

Fredrick nearly fell back onto his ass at the sudden tsunami of a cocktail of emotion that blasted outward from Stella like a bomb.

She stood up, began pacing, and began loudly ranting her heart out:

“WHEN I TOOK THE GODDAMN POTION… I TRIED TAE KISS YOU OUT OF REFLEX AND YOU SWERVED ME. YOU FUCKIN’ SWERVED ME FRED…

“I DON’T BLAME YOU THOUGH! BUT IT JUST SHOWED ME THAT ONE CHANGE WAS FUCKIN’ CATASTROPHIC FER US! IF THAT WAS PERMANENT…”

Stella stopped in her tracks. The tears suddenly flowed freely—unabashedly.

Visibly quivering in her own hooves, she shut her eyes tightly, spilling all her pent-up feelings down her cheeks. She then buried her face into her palms.

She sobbed.

And seeing that so plainly in front of him put Fredrick’s heart in an industrial shredder. This was one of the only times where he felt physically sick to his stomach.

His hand went to his core as he felt the pain… and seeing Stella—the crossest mare in the Guard… his indomitable spirit of a marefriend—completely reduced to genuine tears had taken a sledgehammer his morale and shattered it into a million pieces.

He reached forward as he moved to close the distance between them:

“S-Stella?” he tentatively called.

She didn’t move, but her crying never ceased, even through her strained words.

“I-I-I D-DON’T WANT YOU TO L-LEAVE ME…!”

Fredrick was stopped stupid for a moment, then shook his head free of any attempts to rationalize that. Again, things were coming at him from left, right, center… and other fields that went straight up his ass and took a left a shithole creek.

“Wha—Why the hell would I leave you?” he asked.

Fredrick stood right in front of his admittedly quite broken-seeming mare and held her gently by the shoulders. She still refused to pull her palms away from her face as her confusing whirlwind of emotions continued to waterfall down her cheeks.

She only shook her head as she cried.

Fredrick instinctively opened his arms and pulled Stella into him, embracing her fully. She didn’t resist, and in fact, Fredrick was able to cradle her properly as she actively leaned into him.

Stella still refused to pull her hands away from her face, however. Whether that was to catch her tears, or to save face… or some combination of the two, Fredrick wasn’t concerned on her methods so long as she let him hold her.

Their positioning put her ears right in range of his mouth, and in a gesture that he knew she loved, he gently kissed her there.

As well as whispering his encouragement.

“It’s okay, babe… let it all out. You need this,” he said, and led the both of them back to the bed so they could sit down together.

Stella did let it all out… and in a sign of progress for Fredrick, Stella threw her arms tightly around his waist, holding herself as flush as she could without the two fusing at a molecular level.

He didn’t care in the slightest that her tears were literally running down his chest.

Hell, he didn’t care anymore at her rather horrific attitude towards him a mere two minutes earlier.

All he cared about was her health. All of her health. Whatever this business was about him ‘leaving her,’ he wagered that it didn’t just all start with the Great Genderbend of ‘69 a mere few hours earlier.

Fredrick shook his head.

Hell no… this manifested. And it’s probably manifested for some time.

In the end, she had opened up to him somewhat… albeit explosively. Whatever it took to get more out of her and get to the root of this sudden problem was alright with him—in this case, Stella could take as much time as she pleased.

Besides, it seemed like she really needed a good cry. Fredrick was almost impressed with how long she had been sobbing into him.

That didn’t make it any less difficult and heart-wrenching to watch, hear, or feel, though.

“I love you so much, Stella…” Fredrick cooed into her ear, which flicked lightly in response.

Stella sniffled whilst nodding.

Fred continued:

“…I just want you to remember that. Always. Maybe I haven’t been doing as good of a job over the last few months at reminding you. I promise I’ll get better at it,” he then added.

Stella immediately shook her head, looking up at him.

“No love… Nononononono it’s not you, mate! I love you too...” she said softly, hugging him around his torso.

If she was trying to dispel any and all fear within Fredrick, she was doing one hell of a job in his totally unbiased opinion. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but wonder… should he have pressed the signs earlier? Like with her dream that she would always get uncharacteristically defensive over?

“I just… Hmph,” Stella sighed out, pouting through her face that was still stained with fresh tear stains.

Thankfully, the flow had stopped, but seeing the love of his life like this was still bringing an aching pain to his chest that he knew he could only alleviate by making her smile.

Before he had the chance to crack something wise or sarcastic to finally lighten the mood, Stella decided to finish her thought.

“Alright…” she began anew with a rather acquiescing tone of voice, then sniffled.

Just before she did, however, she swung herself off of his lap and took a seat nice and flush right against him—hip to hip.

That look of shame never left her face as she stared down to the floor.

“So. You wanna know about me dream? You know… the one?” she dared to ask.

And like hell Fredrick was going to turn down that opportunity. He placed his hand on her thigh and nodded vehemently.

“Yeah! Of course…” he said.

Stella took another deep breath, but in another gesture that re-ignited Fredrick’s heart, she reached for his hand and interlaced her fingers with his.

“This is just… ugh…” she rolled her eyes. “So fuckin’ stupid… yer gonna laugh at this.”

Fredrick shook his head and patted the top of her hand for support. He smiled warmly at her when she turned to face him again—he could slowly but surely see the fear inside her being chipped away.

“Not at all, Stella. Take as long as you need. Whatever you need to get off your chest… whatever it takes,” he said.

Fredrick kept his eyes glued to Stella’s face as she grappled with all the confusing emotions within her. But after what seemed like a small lifetime, she sighed out and began to speak:

“Remember when I let you in on it a little back in Thestralshire? How it’s been an ongoing nightmare since me army days?”

Fredrick nodded, having recalled that immediately.

“Definitely… something about a really bad experience in the Badlands, right? Something happened there. What was it?” he asked, moving the conversation right along.

Stella pursed her lips and averted her gaze elsewhere.

“Aye… ummm… about that…”

Fredrick cocked his head, and silently bade her onward.

“Sooo… that was a fuckin’ lie,” she said.

Fred blinked, legitimately shocked.

“Wait… really??”

“There was no bad experience in the Badlands. Fuck me, we enjoyed our time there. Even had dinner with Changeling troops once in a while—not bad lads, by the way…” she admitted, sniffling and wiping her nose.

Apparently, Fredrick still had plenty of opportunity to be surprised.

“Well shit. Okay then…” he said.

Stella continued cautiously:

“Goddamn this is so fucking…” she collected herself, running her hands down her face. “…the dream started sometime after you and I met.”

“Go on…”

“It’s the same every time,” Stella said, her words notably more subdued.

“The Princesses announce to us all that you no longer need special privileges and protection in the castle… because they found a way to send you home.”

Fredrick blinked hard, and a dozen synapses clicked in his brain at once… suddenly, everything made so much more sense.

Oh…

“You were already preparing to leave. Somehow I manage to catch you before you go into this fuckin’… portal thing. I called out to you. I cried. I begged you to stay. You just looked back and… turned away as you walked into the portal. Not a word… not even a goodbye.

“Then it shut. I was left alone after that.”

Fredrick watched as another two tears were squeezed out from her eyes, and she shook her head. All the while she gripped his hand harder, which he gladly reciprocated.

Stella continued before he could say anything:

“It’s the same sequence of events exactly. Not every night but… once every week and a half I’d say… I watch you just walk out of me life without word.”

The mere thought of that scrunched up Fred’s stomach… there was just so much wrong with the very concept to him, that he couldn’t bear to wonder how Stella was going through this on a regular basis. But more than that, it highlighted something extremely important to him… despite the less-than ideal manner of the revelation:

Stella cared about him. She loved him. She loved him hard. Everyone he had ever met from Highground to friggin’ Vampir—her goddamn dad—had told him as such. He knew it to be true… he thought he had truly seen it in the past.

This was something different altogether. Maybe he was finally beginning to understand the weight of it all.

“Babe…” he spoke up again, which earned her attention.

“I think it goes without saying that I would never. Ever. Do anything like that. After everything we’ve been through…” he said.

Stella pursed her lips and nodded—shame still scrawled all over her matted face.

“Aye… I know it’s fuckin’ retarded but—”

Fredrick stopped her there, much to her apparent surprise:

“No. It’s not retarded. It’s clearly a real fear you have,” he said.

He held her hand between both of his hands.

“Look… I’ve gone back and forth with Luna and Celly for the first six months or so of my time here. Despite all their research and their experimentation… the spell that brought me here had a fluke in it. A ‘one in quadrillion’ chance of said fluke being replicable.”

Fredrick shrugged, and shook his head while keeping eye contact with Stella, smiling all the while.

“I’m stuck here. The Princesses could literally focus their entire lives on that same spell, and still not be able to recreate the unique conditions that brought me here.

"And you know what? That’s okay by me!”

He watched as Stella nodded at him, the slightest bit of a smirk returning to her face as she listened to him raptly.

However, he felt he needed to add one last thing:

“Even if they somehow—despite the literal impossibility—were able to recreate those precise conditions? Those conditions would not be guaranteed to last for more than fractions of a second.

“And even if they did…” he punctuated, hanging on his words as he felt Stella’s hopeful gaze peering into him.

“I’d be staying right where I am,” he said, smiling.

Stella sniffled and gazed up to him through some of her matted bangs—the lack of a ponytail in her mane for the last several hours had made it that much more unkempt.

“A-Aye? Ya mean that?” she asked with the purest hope welling up in her eyes.

Fred nodded twice.

“You know it! Yeah… it was terrible how essentially my previous life ended, really. I mean… my family and friends—despite how much I love them—probably think I’m dead by this point. Harsh and well… sad, really,” he said.

A familiar pang hit him in the stomach… one that he was well-acquainted with since the first day he arrived in Equestria and was forced to face the music. Over time though, that pang of recollecting his family and old life had slowly ebbed away.

Perhaps… a little too quickly for his liking. But like the whole incident, there was no point in dwelling on it.

Especially since he had a more important point to make to the mare right in front of him.

“But, it’s the truth. And no amount of moping or crying about it was ever going to change that reality. One life ended… and yet, I was given another chance in another world—debatably more gorgeous than the one I left…

“And I get to be with you, Stella.”

Fredrick might as well have melted at the cutest face Stella had ever made. Combined with her eyes spilling over again, his heart was sent into a flutter—his core was light on air…

…even more so when Stella threw her arms around his neck, pulling him tightly against her.

Of course he would hold her… for as long as she liked.

He imparted little kisses onto her cheek and her neck as she buried her face into his… he could feel some more of her tears moistening his skin while she sniffled out what remained of her internal conflict. Even so, he could already feel the change in her mood—her aura had improved substantially.

Fredrick smiled warmly as he began to run his fingers down her back, tracing a line up and down between her folded wings.

“There… feeling a little better, babe?” Fredrick dared to ask.

Fredrick watched as Stella pulled back, briefly held his gaze, then softly pressed her lips against his own. By way of reflex, he let his eyes fall shut and their arms wrap around her as he always had.

A soft kiss… a kiss that elicited the tiniest whispers of moans from him, and identical ones from Stella. He was content in being held right where he was, especially when he felt Stella’s left hand rest firmly on the nape of his neck. As he moved his mouth in tandem with hers, and felt her soft lips moving reservedly yet longingly against his, he knew well that this kiss was not of wanton desire.

But rather, a kiss of love. If beautiful fields of blooming flowers swaying in a gentle breeze with rolling spring showers could be somehow described as an emotion… that’s exactly how Fredrick felt right now.

And he felt that Stella was feeling the same way… though perhaps her emotions were much less ‘flowers and rain on a spring day’ and more of ‘limitless alcohol and drunken shenanigans without any consequences.’

This was love.

Hell, this was their love.

Fredrick hummed approvingly when he felt Stella press herself deeper into their kiss… but she then pulled away gently. Their lips separated with a barely audible ‘smack,’ but to Fred, it might as well have echoed throughout his room.

His eyes lit up when Stella smiled… that familiar, perky, cocky smile of hers that he loved, though this time it was laced with an extra dash of sentimentality.

Yet through it all, she still managed to cock a coy eyebrow.

“You think I’m strapped intae this relationship… fer my safety? Laddie…” she said.

Fredrick couldn’t help but laugh at that, but before he could offer a riposte, Stella was quick to add something with a return to her more affectionate tone:

“I love you, Fred… so goddamn fuckin’ much…”

Fredrick kissed her once more and held her tightly in another hug.

“I love you too, Stella. To Luna’s Moon and back…” he replied.

A few seconds of comfortable silence ensued before he felt Stella twitch in his arms… and then he heard her snort.

“Fuck that’s gay…” she muttered.

“No you, you cheeky dickwaffle.”

She giggled heartily, and Fredrick was not far behind.

“Fuck, you better not leave me… aye, laddie?!”

“Not sure you’d be capable of loosening the leash that much, hon’…”

“Oh ho ho! Aren’t ye so fuckin’ funny? Don’t make me physically keep ya ‘tied down~!’”

“Don’t you threaten me with a good time, girl!”

Fredrick had enough of roller-coasters for one day, though. That was for sure.

24. Bar Crawl | Part 1 | Rallying the Squad

[The Following Week…]

It had all come together so nicely—so indisputably perfectly that Fredrick wondered if he was in a movie… or some shitty romance novel of some kind that could be found on the deepest, darkest corners of the internet.

Hell, probably a fanfiction or some gay shit like that, he figured.

These thoughts were further affirmed when the last part of his grand master plan (of which the entirety was simply: hope that Stella didn’t remember her own goddamn birthday somehow) was actioned.

It was the culmination of a lot of sleuthing, and ultimately using what had become a subconscious ritual for Fredrick and his foul-mouthed batpony marefriend. Once things had quieted down for her at work, Fredrick had been able to resume ‘picking her up’ from the barracks… much like he enjoyed during the earlier days of their relationship.

From there, they would enjoy a stroll through the castle as they made their way back to Fredrick’s room or somewhere else once they figured out anything else they wanted to do—Stella would chat his ear off all the while.

Just as he preferred it.

What was different this time, was the final puzzle piece under the guise of routine… a little something that would catalyze a night that Fredrick hoped Stella would always remember fondly.

“By the way!” he interrupted one of her little stories.

Stella cocked her head at him—Fred wasn’t exactly one to rip her from her storytelling reverie over nothing.

“Eh?”

Incapable of suppressing his smugness of a thousand suns, he turned the handle to his room and threw open his door unceremoniously.

That’s when he gestured towards his perfectly made bed… of which on top of the comforter sat a single, small, hand-woven basket containing a multitude of little gifts.

“Happy Birthday, Stella!” he further exclaimed with a bright smile.

He pitied the fools who never got to enjoy the feelings of surprising their significant others so fabulously that it made an impression… a cute impression in that their eyes widened to anime-girl levels and their jaws dropped.

Fredrick lived for the shimmer and glint in Stella’s eyes when she was suddenly overcome with a wave of pleasant surprise and happiness… but he also lived for the Stella-esque additions to her basic emotions that truly set her apart from the rest.

She balled her right fist and punched the air indignantly.

“Fer FUCK’S sake!” she exclaimed, then turned to Fredrick with a disbelieving smile on her face once all the dots had connected in her pretty little head.

“Did… Did I really forget me own fuckin’ birthday? Are you serious?!”

Fredrick didn’t get a chance to answer that before Stella’s expression turned at an instant—she squee’d and threw her arms around Fredrick’s neck, and had thrown her entire weight onto him as she swung her legs excitedly.

“Thank you, love! Thank you so much! Somepony remembered~” she said, and Fredrick happily met her halfway for a kiss when she puckered her lips oh so expectantly.

He set her down back on her hooves and led her forward to his bed whilst he placed his hand lovingly onto the small of her back. Her toned midriff was completely exposed by her choice of the namesake, blood-red top—Fred never passed up the opportunity to run his fingers through her mouthwatering back-dimples like an X-Wing fingering a Death Star trench.

He leveled another kiss to her cheeks, much to Stella’s playful giggling.

“Mwah! Anything for you, my love! I got you some stuff I wanna give you!”

Though Stella bounced excitedly on her hooves in such a way that Fredrick was in danger of having heart problems… her stubbornness when it came to material affection he showed her was still as strong as ever.

“When’re ya gonna not get me shit on days like this, ya fuckin’ coat-less weapon? Seriously, you really don’t have to, Fred…”

Fredrick playfully rolled his eyes as he folded back the sleeves on his shirt. He flashed a lopsided, yet warm smirk at her.

“Oh I’m well aware that I don’t have to… I just don’t give a slow-roasted, honey-glazed shit, though. I want to. Besides! Consider it an extra token of appreciation for putting up with my own bullshittery on occasion,” he said, then quickly laid out all the things he got her in a little ensemble.

Such things included a large bottle of Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie, a custom-made sheath for her combat knife, and an entire tin full of white chocolate.

Fredrick then felt two arms snake around his front and pull him back into Stella’s embrace. His heart raced and he felt his cheeks color as Stella pressed her full chest and her right cheek into his back… and just held him where he was.

“Yer still too good tae me after all this time, lad. Ya know that? I love you…”

Again, Fredrick was sent blushing under Stella’s praise and her words, and he turned around in her grasp to fully embrace her in return.

“I love you too, babe,” he replied, then kissed her forehead and buried his face in her mane as she leaned against him.

Night Lily Conditioner. God that smells good…

“So goddamn much. I just want to make you happy,” he, continued speaking from the heart.

He heard Stella giggle all girly-like, and he peered down at her when she pulled away from him… only for the tip of his nose to be suddenly met with hers. He bit his lip and felt just the right of primal fear and excitement when she smiled devilishly at him in just that way he adored.

Stella lidded her eyes.

“Well lemme tell ye somethin’, cunt… yer sappy ass is doin’ one hell of a job at that,” she said, snagging her own lower lip with one of her fangs.

Fredrick knew that face from the moment the two of them started dating… that same face that served to drive him crazy in the best of ways throughout the tenure of their relationship. From his valuable experience over the last six months specifically, such a look from her was the harbinger of some very satisfying sex…

Imminently.

While Fredrick was always down to service and be serviced by his hot thestral marefriend, tonight was the one night where he knew that ain’t nobody got time for that.

Fredrick was barely able to voice any meaningful alternative to the implicit proposition before Stella smashed her lips against his. Any immediate thoughts of protest died in the back of his throat as his own mouth began to respond by virtue of instinct.

His eyes shut, and he wrapped his arms around Stella’s midsection.

Hmmm… a couple minutes of birthday make-out couldn’t hurt, right?

“Mmmmph…” he moaned when he felt Stella will apart his lips and slip her tongue into his mouth. There was no turning back from those expert lips of hers.

Stella was quick to reply with what Fredrick felt were her own intellectual thoughts on the matter:

“Mmhmmmm~…”

One thing that really did it for Fredrick was just how much raw emotion Stella had been putting into her kisses recently.

Ever since their rather explosive heart-to-heart over a week ago, this was one change that he noticed the day of… and thereafter since. While she was the unspoken master of initiating their lustful exchanges (Fredrick was slowly making sure it was becoming more equal, but Stella’s sex drive dwarfed his, which always impressed him), Fredrick felt that she was making a conscious effort to really highlight her love for him even in the smallest things…

…such as a simple kiss.

Fred never felt that Stella had ever denied him the physical or emotional intimacy that he as a man had sought… he always felt that she had shown it in her own special ways. She was making it plainly obvious now, and the fact that he could feel her genuineness through it all really sealed it for him.

They were in wonderful standing.

Fredrick let his hands fall to the bare portion of her back, again courtesy of her midriff top. He then slid both his palms under her garment, where he could run his fingers over her powerful back muscles and the base of her wings interwoven through her bra.

He felt—and heard—Stella purr at his ministrations, and she smiled against his lips (which made him smile even wider) while their tongues were firmly engaged in attrition warfare.

Fredrick took a deep breath and inhaled Stella’s familiar ‘scent’ as they continued to make out. She always had a way of intoxicating him, and that’s probably why he often agreed to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.

However, his rational thoughts reorganized themselves when he felt Stella’s hand trace down his stomach… and then cup his crotch nice and firmly.

He opened his eyes wand was brought back to reality.

Now Stella, now’s not the time to use that…

Fredrick pulled away from a suddenly confused mare, even more so when he placed his hand on her wrist and gingerly moved her away from his stiffening bulge just in time.

“Hehe… as much as I’d love to sweep my bed clean and take you on it right now, there’s gonna be plenty of time for banging later…” he said.

Stella cutely shimmied on her hooves, and Fredrick almost faltered when she continued to level her lustful gaze onto him in any attempt to convince him otherwise.

“Oh come the fuck on lad… what the fuck’s more important than fucking me right the fuck now?!” she whined while her hands grasped the hem of her midriff.

Fredrick smugly smiled again, and as if right on cue, there was a firm knock at his door.

“Because, babe…” he said. “The night’s not exactly over yet…~”

He then called out past Stella and towards the door:

“Yes? Come in!”

His door unlatched and creaked open. A female Lunar Guard in full armor poked her head in.

“Mister Himmelreich, sir?” she addressed. “Your first guest has arrived!”

Fredrick beckoned inward, not paying any mind towards Stella’s completely confused expression.

“Thank you! By all means, let ‘em in as they get here!” he said, smiling.

The nameless guard nodded with her own smile and opened the door fully while gesturing inward to an unseen guest.

Fredrick already knew who was arriving first, so he only watched Stella raptly… and took great personal pleasure in seeing her face light up when Sveta swaggered through the door with the iconic Sabre smile and her luggage in tow.

“Sup, fuckers?” the younger Sabre sister greeted, throwing her arms open grandiosely and putting her outfit and personality on full display.

Fredrick nodded slowly, impressed. A plain-black tank-top and shorts looked amazing on her… simple, yet effective!

“SVETA?!” Stella excitedly exclaimed, all smiles and beaming eyes. “How the f—when-how—FREDRICK! What did you do?!”

Fredrick could practically feel his mouth rising vertically on his face because of how smug he was right now.

“Things,” he said. “And stuff. I told you the night wasn’t over yet!”

“Oi!” Sveta interrupted, tapping her hooves and cocking an eyebrow. “You cunts gonna say hi tae me properly or am I gonna stand here awkwardly like a flasher’s flaccid fuckin’ dick?”

Fredrick certainly didn’t need to be to be told twice. Neither did Stella apparently when she raced forward with another uncharacteristic ‘EEEE’ before jumping and embracing her taller, yet younger sister. It always cracked him up when she did emit such a foreign noise.

“Hah!” Sveta exclaimed, laughing as she set Stella back on her hooves. “Happy birthday, fuckin’ queerdo,” she added, then rustled Stella’s mane much to her immediate chagrin.

“Oi, fuckface! Don’t mess the mane up! Respect yer fuckin’ elders, ya manner-less cunt!” Stella shot back in a rather expected manner while fixing her mane and ponytail back up.

Sveta scoffed.

“‘Respect yer elders’ Bitch yer fuckin’ like three years older than me—eat my ass,” she said.

Fredrick stepped up to her and apparently Sveta didn’t need an invitation to throw her arms around his neck and plant a wet kiss on his cheek.

“Mwah! So good tae see you, Fred! Thanks so much fer bringin’ me out here!”

Fredrick beamed as he held her around the shoulder in a half-hug.

“Heh, no problem at all! How was the ride over? A-And guess the parents couldn’t make it?” he asked.

Stella cut in disbelievingly:

“You invited mum and dad out?!”

Sveta addressed him and Stella together:

“Train ride was good! Slept the entire way, though.

“And aye… conflicting plans, unfortunately. They wanted me tae thank you fer the offer though—meant a lot, mate. They’ll be out here in the near future tae see Stella so they wanna see you then,” she said.

Fredrick’s attention was beckoned to his right when Stella slunk under his other arm and gazed up at him lovingly… a gaze that he was more than willing to meet with equal lovingness.

“Hey, birthday girl,” he said, and kissed her on the forehead.

Sveta stuck a finger in her mouth and faux-gagged.

“Ugh… GAAAAAAY!”

“You wish you were gay with us!” Stella retorted.

Fredrick chuckled at the fifth-grade-level banter but the humor was cut short when there was yet another knock at his door.

Stella was first to react:

“Wait… what? Are—are there more ponies!?”

Fredrick flashed her a creepy face.

“Maaaaaaaybeeee~?”

He then called out to the door:

“Come on in!”

The same guard poked her head in.

“Your next guest has arrived, sir,” the guardsmare said while simultaneously pushing his door inward.

In walked a familiar batpony mare with a naturally, yet familiar stoic aura as well as a forward-swept, crimson mane. It went quite well with the red and black flannel shirt she had underneath her leather jacket. A nice pair of jeans complemented a much more casual look for a mare that—in Fredrick’s humble opinion—always radiated authority and commanded respect.

It would make sense… she was a cop, after all. One of Canterlot’s finest.

Fredrick smiled widely at one of Stella’s friends whom he was fond of, and then gestured widely.

“Highground!” he greeted as the newcomer took easy, controlled steps towards them with hands in her pockets.

She confidently smirked right back at him.

“Hey! How’s it going?” she replied.

“Welcome to my humble abode!” Fred added

Stella was also quick to greet with no small measure of increasing joy mixed with surprise.

“Fuckin… Highground?! What the fuck?! Fredrick! Did you reach out tae all me friends?!” Stella looked to him for answers.

Though… her mounting shock was still somewhat betrayed by her equally mounting happiness, even when she moved to embrace Highground.

“Sort of…” Highground said with no attempt to veil her cryptic tone whilst hugging Stella.

She smirked fondly at the younger batpony.

“Happy birthday, kid. It’s been a while,” she said.

As Fredrick had expected from a mile away, Stella immediately took issue with that. She promptly sent her reply back via first-class shipping in banter:

“Oi mate, who the fuck’re you callin’ ‘kid?!’ Ya hyper well-done slab of beef curtains?”

Fredrick couldn’t hold back his maniacal cackling that erupted from his chest. Sveta was quick to follow suit, though much more leveled. Highground, to her credit, also busted out laughing jovially.

“Hah! Oh shit I’m gonna have to remember that one. Reminds me again that it’s been more than a hot minute since we’ve gotten a drink…” Highground mused.

Sveta’s voice entered into the conversation from over Fredrick’s shoulder, and he stepped aside so the younger Sabre could mosey on in.

“Good tae fuckin’ see ya again, Highground!” she greeted, and the two thestrals firmly shook hands with toothy smiles.

“Right back at ya, Sveta! Let’s make sure to catch up later somewhat, alright? Gotta tell me how college is going.”

Sveta shot her a lone finger-gun.

“Aye!”

Stella’s voice interjected again at the mention of ‘later’:

“Whoa… Later? What the fuck’s planned tonight, Fredrick?” Stella asked him with her dimple-laden smile that hadn’t quit since he brought her into his room this evening.

The four of them naturally gravitated into a square, and Highground cleared her throat… apparently, she was more than willing to explain what was going down. Fredrick figured that he’d let the older thestral have the stage to explain the grand master plan that she played no small part in.

“So, Stella…” Highground began, which earned Fredrick a curious, excited glance from the mare in question before she turned to her friend.

“You’ve been working way too goddamn hard for your own good. Fredrick wanted to do something special for you for your birthday, so he reached out to me for any ideas. That’s when I suggested something you had been wanting to do for a while…”

She smiled her own fangy smile.

“A bar crawl.”

Fredrick watched as Stella’s eyes just glinted with joy.

“N-No fuckin’ way … really?!” she asked, and that extra upward, squeaky, hopeful inflection of her words nearly—again—melted Fred’s heart.

Oh yeah… you dun’ gud.

“You know it!” Fredrick said. “Figured it’d be fun to visit three places that you’ve… ‘expressed interest’ in, but never been able to go.”

Highground cut in again:

“He also wanted to treat you and a few friends to a fun night doing something you love. So, aside from me, he invited Sveta which was an obvious choice.”

Then, she shrugged knowingly.

“I told him to let me handle the rest, and that I’d get a couple more ponies together…~” she teased.

Stella stopped her there:

“Wait… there’s more ponies coming?”

“Knock Knock!”

Fredrick knowingly angled his face towards his door at the sudden intrusion of a distinctly Slavic accent. That’s when he (and everypony else, really) spied the newest addition to the group as planned: the over-six-foot, copper-coated batpony mare that had so made an impression on him with her drop-dead gorgeous looks, an imposing personality, and markedly aggressive flirting style.

“Midnight Song!” Stella exclaimed brightly. “The Romaneian cocksleeve herself graces our presence! Holy shit!”

Midnight giggled as she stepped forward to join the group.

“Always happy to celebrate the birthday of the cutest, angriest, and smallest batpony in the Guard,” she calmly replied, patting Stella on the head after the two shared a firm handshake.

Fredrick giggled behind his hand as he saw Stella sizzle a bit under Midnight’s gesture, though this was to be expected—the two had a ‘friendly rivalry,’ and despite how Stella would act towards her, he was happy to learn that the two of them were actually pretty decent friends. Hence, he invited her out.

And from the looks of it, she was rearing to go, if her interesting attire consisting of a lovely-fitting white tank-top, camo shorts, and combat boots were anything to go by.

As Fredrick stood off to the side so some ponies in the small group could get acquainted with each other, he had to do some mental comparisons by virtue of being a man. Sveta still had the absolute competitive edge in the chest department even though Midnight joined them (not that the latter was particularly lacking here).

Though… perhaps even Midnight herself had similar thoughts when Sveta stepped forward to introduce herself.

It was immediately apparent—before words were exchanged—that the two had met each other for the first time.

“Get the fuck outta here… You’re the Midnight Song? Shit, Stella wasn’t fuckin’ jokin’! Yer an absolute unit!” Sveta said whilst producing her hand for a proper shake.

“Sveta Sabre. Good tae finally meet ya, lass!”

Fredrick observed as Midnight happily took Sveta’s hand in hers for a proper introduction—something that was completely expected from his point of view. What he didn’t expect was Midnight very conspicuously tracing her eyes up and down the younger Sabre sister’s figure all the while…

…and her eyes lit up like goddamn dried brush in California on a windy summer day.

Midnight bit her lip.

Fredrick knew he was about to witness something glorious happening in real time.

Oh… oh no…

“I’d recognize that smile, that accent, and that poise anywhere… though there’s two cute things I don’t recognize, that’s for sure…~” she said, punctuating with a less-than-subtle purr.

She made that allusion while plainly staring down Sveta’s top.

Fredrick tried to stymie his laughter. He tried with every fiber in his being to hold back a torrent of guffaws that was at the gates of his mouth like the Germans at Stalingrad.

But goddamnit. The healthy concoction of surprise, confusion, and embarrassment suddenly plastered on Sveta’s teal face… on top of Stella just completely forsaking her sister and unabashedly losing her shit had broken Fredrick entirely.

Midnight giggled evilly at Sveta’s reaction, which was clearly part of her master plan. Even Highground wasn’t completely immune, though to her credit she was the most mature out of the lot of them—Fredrick conceded that fully. She, too, had to fold her lips under her teeth lest she save face around everypony.

Sveta cleared her throat with an awkward chuckle.

“A-Aye… you’re definitely how Stella told me about you, mate,” she said.

Midnight flashed her a coy smile.

“And I hope Stella’s told you everything about me...~” she replied with no veil to her questionable prodding.

Fredrick wasn’t sure if he ever saw Sveta gulp nervously since he met her. But thankfully, Stella intervened and forcefully separated their hands before giving the much taller thestral a quick PSA:

“Heh. Not in yer life, Mid’. She’s straighter than a fuckin’ geometric line in the dead of winter, lass.”

Midnight cocked her head with a rather poignant incredulity—unimpressed.

“Oh please Stella…” she said, then let her impropriety shine through once more. “Noodles are straight until you get them all hot and wet… and then start eating them…

“Besides! You know everypony’s… Songsexual~,” she further punctuated with a purr and an annoyingly coy smile.

Fredrick couldn’t take that dumb play on her last name. Nope. Not one bit, and it seemed like no one else could either, if the resounding groans of increasing discomfort were anything to go by.

Fredrick ran a hand down his face.

“Oh Jesus Christ…”

Stella mirrored him completely, and from the sounds of it, Fredrick figured this may have been a regular occurrence.

“Fuckin’… Midnight I swear tae fuck if ya say that retarded shit one more time tonight I’ll fuckin’ look up yer family name, find yer mum, and shag ‘er with both me fists—five in the pink, five in the stink,” Stella threatened.

Midnight crossed her arms under her chest.

“Don’t threaten my mom with a good time! Besides… not like you could handle her anyway, little filly. You can barely handle me,” she said.

Highground spoke up with a rather astute observation:

“That’s like, more than a proportional amount of sexual innuendos just from you tonight in like… the past three minutes. You gonna keep at it?”

“Maybeee~…”

“Yes,” Stella answered Highground straightforwardly. “She absolutely, one-hundred percent is going to make shite innuendos all fuckin’ night. Now…”

Fredrick locked eyes with her as she turned back towards him.

“We’re expectin’ what… one more maybe? I think?” she asked.

Fredrick smiled and nodded once.

“Yup! Just one, babe—figured that would round us out nicely for the night. And I think she should be arriving any minu—”

“Hallo?”

Fredrick did not recognize the foreign, indisputably Germanic-sounding voice in the slightest, and looked to Highground for confirmation… a confirmation he received when she smirked back at him and nodded once, deeply.

She called over her shoulder:

“Come on in, Schnee!”

Everyone turned towards the door, but Fredrick was quite surprised at who had already entered his room’s threshold.

Besides inviting Sveta and Highground herself, the police-mare had suggested that Midnight come along… as well as another good friend of Stella’s that the guardsmare hadn’t seen in a long while—Schneeblume.

Fredrick had never met this mare before, though he had heard some passive mention of her through Stella. She often stopped by her place when she accompanied Princess Luna on royal business trips to Ponyville. From what he gathered and what Highground had explained to him, Stella and Schnee met on the off chance, but had immediately become great friends thereafter.

What Stella had also mentioned vaguely in passing conversation—and what Highground explained in detail—was that this Schneeblume was a recently-former, elite soldier that had seen years of active combat in what this world’s version of the Great War was. She was a grizzled veteran of most of her nation’s campaigns and was on a loooong path of healing… physically and psychologically.

Based on all of this information shared with him, Fredrick had certain… preconceptions as to who he was expecting to walk through his door. Hell, somepony fitting Midnight’s build with many more physical scars, coupled with the natural, resting stoicism of Highground fit this image pretty accurately in his mind.

That’s not who walked through his door.

That’s not who Fred saw literally skipping forward excitedly on every hoofstep she took, making the skirt of her flower-patterned, bright-pink summer dress flutter in an artificial breeze.

But perhaps most importantly, that was not the mare he envisioned when he quickly noticed how pristine, porcelain-white her blemish-free coat was… on top of how ‘smol’ she was. Having now just seen her in the flesh, Fredrick swore that she could not have been taller than five-foot-two.

This perfect-complexioned, brightly smiling, jet-black and straight-maned mare was the actual combat soldier of the servicemares here?

And good lord… those abyssal lavender eyes were gorgeous.

Huh… funny how that works out.

Stella ripped straight through Fredrick’s million-mile-an-hour thought process, and squealed in barely bridled excitement all the while:

“SCHNEEEEEEEEEE!!”

Stella broke from the group and wrapped the smol mare in what looked like a crushing hug… and a small pang of concern washed over Fredrick when he silently hoped that Stella didn’t break the poor girl. Though, when the newcomer only glowed and laughed heartily at the gesture—even reciprocated it—Fred knew that all was right with the world.

The entire group shifted over a couple of paces to merge Schnee with them, as well as do the usual meet-and-greet that had been taking place thus far.

Stella pulled back and took a good look at the mare in front of her, beaming all the while.

“Goddamn I’ve missed you, filly! It’s been way too goddamn long!”

Schneeblume giggled all bubbly-like and smiled all the same.

“So wonderful to see you, too, Meine Liebe!” she said, her German accent thick yet her words as coherent as they could be. “And the happiest of birthdays to you!”

Stella smirked.

“Oh lemme tell ye… it’s definitely gearing up tae be one of me best birthdays yet!” she said, and then gestured towards Fredrick as he observed from just next to her.

“And it looks like it’s mainly thanks tae this loveable dickhead of a coltfriend—and Highground—who invited and helped coordinate everythin’, innit?”

Schnee smiled up at him brightly.

“Ah! So you are the one who had the idea to gather everypony… and you’re her coltfriend? I definitely don’t believe we’ve met!” she said, stepping forward and offering her right hand to him.

She, again, beamed excitedly.

“I’m Schneeblume!”

Fredrick noticed over the next milliseconds that what Highground had warned him about earlier was indeed true—Schneeblume’s hand and forearm were not coat and skin. Instead, they were beautifully polished ceramic—a souvenir from the war. There was a bit of an addition with what looked like professionally painted flowers and vines crisscrossing around it… almost like a tattoo sleeve.

Her fingers had proper digits that appeared to be able to move somewhat, which also confirmed to Fredrick that prosthetics in this world likely had magical or cybernetic enhancements. This fact wasn’t exactly something he was dying to know about but was of interesting note, nonetheless.

Huh… neat!

But my GOD she’s cute…

Judging by the rough and tumble display that Stella showed when greeting her—as well as the rather obvious history here—Fredrick’s internal concerns were smoothed over.

He grasped Schnee’s ceramic hand, and right away felt the stark difference between holding anypony’s hand versus the cool, somewhat more emotionless feel of the ceramic. It was also a slight trip feeling the identically ceramic appendages of her smol fingers curl over his hand.

This mare was a marvel to him already—and he was literally just meeting her. Fred mirrored her smile as he shook her hand.

“Fredrick. So great to finally meet you, too, Miss Snowflower!” he said, and smirked knowingly at understanding the English meaning of her name.

Schnee giggled at the mention, and Fredrick added:

“I’ve heard so much about you from Stella and Highground here,” he said.

She playfully rolled her eyes and angled them at Stella, who shrugged oh-so innocently at her.

“What?” Stella dared to ask rhetorically. “Yer fuckin’ awesome, lass! Of course I’m gonna tell ponies as such!”

Schneeblume smirked, shaking her head all the while. It was obvious that Schnee had just… accepted the hyping up that Stella and others had done on her behalf. This likely had gone on for however long they’d known each other.

“You really over-play me, you know that? Wait… is that a word? Over-play?” she wondered aloud, cocking her head.

She looked back up at Fredrick, nonetheless.

“Do not listen to them—they know not a damn thing they’re talking about,” she added, winking teasingly at Stella with an open-mouthed smile.

Fredrick chuckled as others began introducing themselves to Schnee. Being able to finally get a decent look at all of her told Fredrick everything he needed to know… Namely, that despite this mare’s petite form, she certainly had the visible muscle sculpting on her back and arms that he would expect from a soldier of her purported caliber.

All in all, he was again hit by the same observation he’d been having for the last minute or so:

What a goddamn cutie patootie. Fuck. That shouldn’t happen. That’s illegal.

Apparently during this whole introductory period, Fredrick again did not appear to be the only one who harbored that sentiment.

Midnight had stepped forward for her turn at meeting Schneeblume properly. The readily apparent size difference between the two of these mares was comical. Even so, Midnight had approached Schneeblume with the same, questionably serious lascivious aura that she proudly put on public display.

“Well… hello there, Miss Schnee. I’m Midnight!”

Schneeblume looked up at her brightly and met Midnight’s hand with her much smaller, ceramic hand. Even then, the size-difference was still absurd as Midnight’s hand practically enveloped the smaller mare’s.

“And I’m indeed Schnee! Lovely to meet you!”

What wasn’t expected at all, however, was when Midnight yelped profanities and shook her own hand out once she and Schnee separated fully.

The smaller mare spoke up, giggling:

“You’ve got a very firm handshake. I like it!” she said, knowingly flexing the digits of her prosthetic.

Stella cackled evilly.

“Mate, I’m honestly surprise you haven’t fuckin’ broken anypony’s hands with that absolute weapon you’ve got there,” she mentioned.

“There’ve been some… times where I was actually afraid I did just that…” Schneeblume was quick to sheepishly admit.

Stella wasn’t buying it one bit.

“Oh fuck off, Schnee… you know exactly what yer doin’, aye?” she prodded, nudging her friend’s shoulder, which elicited more than a visible blush and chuckle.

“Hush, you!”

Midnight was obviously struck at that, but was also quick to come back with what everyone in the room was thinking loudly in their heads:

“Can I just say, Schnee, that you’re way too much of a cutie for your own good?”

Fredrick glanced over at Stella, who glanced back at him in kind. In a massive, silent conversation that they decided to have that spanned fractions of a second, Fredrick cocked his eyebrow questioningly at her. Stella responded by raising both her brows knowingly.

Fredrick shrugged.

Tonight’s gonna be… interesting. I can already feel it in my bones.

All the while, Schnee’s porcelain-colored coat and skin allowed everypony to see the deeeeeeeeep blush suddenly fill her cheeks and face at Midnight’s comment. She averted her entire body language away while she babbled and giggled way-too girly like.

Fredrick widened his eyes and clutched his chest at the thought of possibly getting heart disease from the sight—Sveta seemed to notice this, and she could barely contain her own laughter at Fredrick’s expense.

“D-Danke sehr…~” Schneeblume uttered out meekly in her own language.

Fredrick saw Midnight flash her fangs victoriously.

Now that everypony was here though, Fredrick figured it was time to reveal the master plan for the night and then get everypony herded and over to their first destination.

He cleared his throat and earned everyone’s attention.

“Alriiiight, everypony!” he began a little louder than usual and successfully quieted everyone down.

Fredrick clapped his hands together and smiled brightly.

“So! Since everyone’s here, I thought I’d give y’all a quick rundown of the plan tonight… which, by the way, is to make sure Stella here gets to completely unwind and have an easy night in her busy life.”

He then angled his face to Stella smugly.

“Happy birthday again, babe,” he said, and garnered a mildly reticent laugh.

“Heh… thanks, love,” she replied.

“So, we’re going bar crawling tonight! Specifically, we’re gonna hit up three places one after the other that Stella’s wanted to try but never got around to,” he elaborated to brightening faces.

In reality, those whom he had invited were already aware of the plan. It was Stella that was still completely in the dark about it all. Naturally, Stella’s eyes were progressively widening and brightly reflecting all the light in the room as Fredrick continued onward.

“First,” he said and held his thumb up. “We’re gonna hit up ‘Steel Talon’ and pregame with food and light drinks. This will make sure that when we get plastered, we’ll at least get enjoy the way there with stomachs…”

Stella pumped her fist in the air.

“FUCK. YES!! THANK YOU! Always wanted tae go try that shit out!” she exclaimed, then bounced up and down on her hooves.

Highground raised her hand.

“Except for me, though… I’ll be staying completely sober tonight,” she noted.

Sveta scoffed.

“Pfft… look at you bein’ all fuckin’ responsible and stuff, aye?”

The older policemare shrugged.

“Hey, somepony’s gotta make sure you guys enjoy your drunken shenanigans safely and without any serious regrets in the morning. Since I’m the only one in this room that’s actually been a parent to an upstanding daughter, I don’t mind playing mom again for you five retards,” Highground said.

She then leaned over to Schneeblume.

“No offense, Schnee. Easier to just assume the worst when ponies get really drunk in groups… and I have way too much goddamn experience with Stella.”

Schnee waved her hand dismissively.

“None taken at all! Nopony here’s seen me drunk yet but I can get pretty erm… retarded myself with enough alcohol…” she said.

“How is Tavi, by the way?” Stella asked.

“She’s doing really well! Thanks for asking, girl!”

Midnight purred approvingly.

“Mmmm… don’t punish me too harshly, Mommy,” she added, which earned her a deadpan from the scarlet-maned cop.

Fredrick wisely figured not to address Middy’s words, and instead pointed and winked at Highground approvingly.

“You’ll be the real MVP tonight. Remind me to thank you properly over some food of your choice at a later date,” he added, then decided to move right along.

“Second,” Fred said, and held up his index finger with his thumb. “We’re gonna mosey on down to ‘Echo’s Bizarre Adventure’ for some good drinking. We’ll take a long way over to make sure that we can digest properly—I fully expect most of us to get drunk here.”

Fredrick looked to Highground knowingly.

“Except you, of course,” he said.

Stella looked like she was going to explode in her hooves like a high-octane ball of Northern Thestral that would put most bombs to shame—she was practically salivating at the experience, which further encouraged Fredrick onward.

“And then finally we’ll end up at The Library—that one place where they have all the literal lounge spaces with couches, beanbags, chairs… the whole shebang,” he announced.

Midnight certainly seemed content with that.

“AHHH! Nice!”

“I figured that’d be the perfect place to wind down at. We can veg out, hydrate, and anyone who wants can continue some light drinking if you haven’t pickled your livers by that point.

“Oh! And there’s also karaoke there! So, feel free do that—inebriation be damned,” Fredrick added.

Sveta suddenly appeared way too excited for her own good, but Stella showed equal enthusiasm at the mention.

“Well fuck me, then… I call the mic first!” the younger Sabre exclaimed.

Stella nodded once.

“Aye… I might as well give it a go an’ get the full fuckin’ experience of the place!” she said.

Midnight waded her way into the conversation in her own manner:

“Me too! How ‘bout a… three-way?” she so overtly suggested.

Another groan fell over the group.

“Trio… a fuckin’ trio, ya horny cunt,” Stella so dutifully informed.

Fredrick spared a glance at Schnee, half expecting her to look horrified at the exchange… but in fact she was jovially laughing along. Perhaps his internal instincts to subconsciously look after someone so smol were overriding his rational thought.

But just like with her story, she continued to surprise him… and everypony else when she added with no attempt to veil her words:

“Ja! Then you three better make room in that circle-rub of yours around that big mic… because I’ll join in for a foursome!”

“PFFFT!” Fredrick slapped a hand to his mouth. He couldn’t handle this right now.

What the FUCK?!

Stella jokingly admonished Schneeblume whilst barely containing her own laughter:

“Schnee! Don’t fuckin’ encourage her, mate!”

Midnight seemed to welcome Schnee’s unexpected foray into the field of innuendos that no one needed, deserved, nor asked for.

“Hmmm… Then I’ll make sure you and I get to tag-team that mic then…~”

“Sehr gut! I’ll take the tip, you take the base, ja?”

Sveta buried her face in her hands as Midnight and Schnee giggled evilly to one another. Her sentiment echoed everypony else’s, including Fredrick’s.

“Oh fuuuuck me…” she squeaked out.

“That can be very easily arranged, honey~,” Midnight quipped.

“Filly, can you don’t… ya fuckin’ gangrenous urethra,” Stella said, butchering her own sentence for added affect.

Highground was a passive observer. Sveta had no fighting experience that he knew of. Stella wasn’t physically large enough to choke out Midnight with any guarantee of success. And the only pony (despite her size) that was more than capable of stopping the constant salvos of terrible sexual imagery—Schnee—was not helping in the slightest.

Fredrick decided to intervene for everypony’s sanity, as well as so they might be on their way sometime tonight.

“OKAY THEN!” he shouted, earning everyone’s attention at an instant.

He twirled his right arm once and ended by pointing directly at his door.

“I think it’s time we get the fuck outta here and get Stella’s birthday night started! Don’t know ‘bout y’all, but I’m starting to get kinda hungry…”

Highround gestured open-palmed towards the door.

“Sounds good to me. Shall we, guys?” she said, already leading the way towards the exit. Fredrick was not far behind.

“Aye! Let’s get fuckin’ gashed, tonight!” Stella agreed wholeheartedly.

Fredrick’s right side instantly became refuge to Stella’s person, and took zero qualm with linking his arm with hers. He smiled down at Stella, who radiated happiness and excitedness right back at him with that fangy smile of hers.

That’s also when the remaining thee else added their own, collective symphony of agreements with Highground as they coalesced around the two of them.

“Shit yeah, let’s go, cunts!”

“Hehehe, can’t wait for later already~!”

“Yes! Los gehts!”

And as Fredrick strode past his open doors and out into the castle proper, he couldn’t help but take stock of things… Most notably his mare in his hold, and being ‘escorted’ by four other pretty mares in a night of questionable decision-making that would presumably end with some measure of a hangover tomorrow.

He let a lopsided smile overtake his face again as his attention was focused forward. The white noise of vivid, energetic conversation between Stella and everypony else served to further center his mind and mentally plan for the evening ahead.

Oh yeah… it’s all coming together.

Author's Note

The night's just gonna be a normal night with dinner and drinks with friends. Absolutely nothing weird is gonna happen. Nope. Not at all. Why would you get that idea?

As always, a huge thank you to Enigmatic Otaku and Ausbrony for their permission to use their OCs Highground and Midnight Song!

25. Bar Crawl | Part 2 | Once Upon a Midnight Beery

Author's Note

FUCKING... longest chapter I've ever written. Didn't want to cop out and split it up. I love this chapter, but fuck this chapter.

Fuck it. Fuck it all. Fuck me. Fuck you. I'm done looking at it. It's done. I've edited as much as I can. There's probably some typos I've missed. Please PM them to me if you find any and feel the need to point them out (particularly bad ones). I'm just so done holding onto this.

Fuck. Shit. Cock. Cunt.

25. Bar Crawl | Part 2 | Once Upon a Midnight Beery

The Steel Talon was certainly a happening place on a Friday night… something that Fredrick had fully expected from a restaurant that distinctly reminded him of a BJ’s Restaurant and Brewery from Earth.

Thankfully the concept of table reservations had carried over from one planet and dimension to another.

Fredrick was in fantastic spirits as he and his pseudo-entourage were sat at their massive, circular table in the back that reminded him of the Legend of King Arthur. However instead of noble knights being sat at the Round Table, it was a giggling gaggle of gorgeous girls that were collectively getting jaw-dropped stares from surrounding stallions and mares alike.

Fred even had a moment with another stallion, who silently fist bumped him as he passed on his way in and mouthed ‘nice work, dude!’ to him. A mare even gave him a ‘knowing’ pat on his back… but what kinda disturbed him was that all these ponies were just assuming he was banging all the mares here.

Pony minds were in the goddamn gutter.

But then that meant he was assuming that they were assuming that he wanted to bang all these mares… which was totally unfair to impute upon everypony else.

Hypothetically, if his imputing were one-hundred percent true, would he bang all these mares if the stars all aligned properly and all physical and emotional conundrums could somehow be hurdled?

Oh, totally. One hundred percent. Without question.

Could I get a HELL FUCKING YES, SON?

Fredrick shook his head free of his male fantasies and hypotheticals—now was not the time for them at all. He sat himself at the arbitrary ‘head’ of the circular table, with Highground and Stella on either side of him. Next to Stella sat Sveta, and then Midnight and Schnee completed the circle.

A fine arrangement as any, he figured… and it was an easy matter of getting drinks of choice ordered and served.

That’s when Fredrick decided to make his first major move of the night. After he rolled up his sleeves, he stood up and quickly garnered the entire group’s attention by obnoxiously clearing his throat.

“Hey y’all! Sorry to intrude on all the riveting conversation, but I just wanna add a couple of things before we really kick everything off tonight,” he began.

Taking quick stock of the table, Fredrick commanded the attention of all five other pairs of eyes… though Stella was eyeing him both the most lovingly (with a healthy mix of sexual thoughts drawn on her pupils in highlighter), and yet with the greatest suspicion.

She knew well that Fredrick wouldn’t resist any opportunity to shitpost at her expense, on her night of all nights.

She would be one-hundred percent right.

Nevertheless, Fred did have some rather important, logistical stuff to get out into the open:

“Since we’ve got all our poisons of choice, I figured this would be a good time as any to let you know that everything is covered tonight… no matter where we are. You want it? Order it. It’s a special night and it’s all on me.”

Fredrick quickly learned that the easiest way to turn admiring, endearing faces of gorgeous mares aimed directly at him… into sudden scowls and frowns was to say that he was paying for all expenses.

He relished in it. The smugness he felt was too much to not enjoy it… even when Stella aggressively stood up—she was always really cute when she was ‘angry’ at him.

“You fuckin’ wot, mate?!” she bellowed, then thrust a single index finger in his general direction. “Ya better fuckin’ un-say that shit right fuckin’ now before I staple the tab to yer prostate!”

The urge to cackle like a madman welled up within Fredrick like a boiling steam engine. This would never get old…

…not even when Sveta joined her sister in standing. Their expressions were identical.

But more than that, there was just something… Something about having both stunningly hot Sabre sisters in gorgeous attire, looking like they wanted to homicide the shit outta him, that just made him wanna make Italian hand gestures from how deliciously spicy this was.

Fuck-a me that’s a spicy face-a.

It’s-a so spicy!

Sveta spoke:

“I don’t give a right fuck if yer Stella’s coltfriend. I’ll fuckin’ kill ya if ya take the whole tab, knobhead.”

Fredrick threw both his arms out confidently and challengingly, effectively t-posing.

“Do what you must, for I’ve already won! The tab’s already been set in my name—this is your night, Stella… so you better believe I’m willing to actually throw down over this, woman,” he said.

He then aimed his faux ire toward Sveta. He said quite knowingly with just the right amount of veil to his words for the general public to not understand:

“I’ve taken both of you together once—I’ll fuckin’ do it again! Context be damned!” he challenged, and garnered the exact reaction he was looking for…

…namely, Sveta blushed furiously. Fredrick thought she might’ve been bleeding from her teal face from how hard her cheeks colored. Nopony else was the wiser, just as planned.

Regardless, that only appeared to strengthen her resolve, and Sveta tapped her sister on the shoulder.

“Mate, don’t worry ‘bout killin’ him. I don’t want ye tae have the guilt of puttin’ yer colt underground… so I’ll kill ‘im for ye,” she so volunteered for the task, hand over her heart.

Things got more interesting for Fredrick right away.

He cocked an eyebrow towards Midnight when she stood up. Even from across the table, her stature was more than a bit intimidating, feminine figure notwithstanding.

She joined the chorus of genuinely serious-seeming—if token—resistance:

“Freddie~… as much as I’d love to come over there for a variety of reasons… you’re really not gonna want me to come over there right now,” she asserted.

Fredrick stood his ground, and the reaction he was getting was only fueling his smugness… a smugness that rivalled only the most powerful anime girls that he would jack himself to back on Earth, on a regular basis. Despite any and all resistance, Fredrick would have the honor of taking care of all expenses on this night.

None would deny him!

Errrrybody’s gettin’ mad!

Though, Fredrick did waver a bit when Schnee stood up in all her small, flowery summer dress glory.

Okay, he wavered a lot under the first time he experienced the distinctly icy stare of Schneeblume herself. She did not say a single word, but Fredrick could certainly infer the thoughts swimming around in her head.

Even then, the human stood firm.

Fredrick noticed that Highground wasn’t standing up to oppose his bill-paying hegemony… he shared a knowing smirk with her.

All according to keikaku…

Stella also seemed to notice this. Through her directed scowl that seemed to be genuine this time around, she didn’t look particularly pleased with this fact.

“Oi! Fuckin’ Highground! Yer okay with this shit?!” came her implicit exhortation.

“And meanwhile—every fuckin’ time I try tae pay fer dinner between you an’ me… ye fuckin’ shed yer entire fuckin’ uterine lining… whingein’ about like a bitch who hasn’t gone menopausal!” she ranted.

Highground coolly crossed her arms over her chest and only offered up a lopsided shrug. Fredrick had to stop himself from losing his shit at the sheer nonchalance.

She motioned to him with a tilt of her head whilst staring directly into Stella’s eyes.

“Fredrick and I came to… an agreement. He was pretty adamant about it, too. Regardless, he’ll be taking care of everything tonight. It’s already been decided and arranged,” Highground re-broke the news to everypony.

Fredrick’s smugness was approaching levels that should not have been scientifically possible… likely not even legal by whatever was the equivalent of the Geneva Convention of this world.

“You bet all y’all’s individual sweet asses!” Fredrick affirmed victoriously.

He then pointed to each and every standing mare one after the other:

“So… sit down, sit down, sit down, and sit down!”

Defeated, all silently obeyed one after the other.

Stella raised a finger, and her challenging gaze returned. Fredrick shut that down at an instant with a jokingly exaggerated, wide-eyed gaze of derision.

“Shut it!” he commanded, pointing directly at her.

Stella’s hand lowered… then she made the slightest move to stand back up in further defiance.

“SHUT!” Fred added, finger still in her face.

His combative marefriend ceased all resistance. He noticed the slightest inkling of desire to continue fighting from Sveta, and he shifted his attention silently to her. No resistance reared its gorgeous head.

All attention remained on him, even as a silence wreathed their roundtable. Despite the controlled, raucous nature of the restaurant itself, Fredrick had drawn a small audience from the surrounding tables. He had not noticed… particularly because of said scene that just unfolded between his marefriend and his friends over the simple act of bill paying.

It was ridiculous. It was downright comical. It brought back so many amazing memories both from this world and his past one. But more than that, the sheer absurdity of the exchanged words was enough to crack Fredrick’s jokingly serious exterior.

He couldn’t stifle one of the feminine, undignified giggles that managed to worm its way from his core.

That’s when the dam broke fully. The entire table collectively lost their entire shit. The senseless cackling to the moon silenced the rest of their dining area for the briefest of moments… not that Fredrick—nor anypony else at the table—cared in the slightest.

While Fredrick himself was damn-near wheezing, Stella and Sveta were howling like hyenas. Midnight had buried her face in her hands as she cackled. Schnee had thrown her head back and was just reclining in her chair, clutching her tummy and giggling to her little heart’s content. Even Highground was snickering whilst shaking her head.

Well… that was a thing.

Fredrick’s bright smile couldn’t quit at this time, and once everypony calmed down and looked to him with easy, level eyes, he decided to do what he had set out to do in the first place.

He raised his glass of gin and ginger whilst looking directly at Stella.

“To the birthday mare—and my gorgeous marefriend—Stella,” he toasted. “May tonight be eventful, may the drinks be strong, and may the events be memorable. May the hangovers be few and the fun be plenty.”

With a loving wink, he finished off with:

“Happy birthday, babe. I love you so much!”

Stella seemed to have sparkling stars in her eyes at his little ‘speech,’ as it were. Her cheeks were flushed somewhat, and she lowered her head just a smidge sheepishly before replying.

“I love you too, ya lovable twatweasel.”

Fredrick beamed, then addressed the rest of the ponies at the table…

…who were looking at him with various degrees of heart warmth at his little display of affection towards Stella.

He raised his glass higher.

“To Stella!”

All raised their diverse drinks to the sky in unison.

“To Stella!”

All leaned in to clink their drinks together before motioning to sip… though as Fredrick assumed correctly, a ‘sip’ constituted to something quite different depending on the pony at the table.

Fredrick preferred the sipping drinks to start off, so he did just that… what he considered a ‘normal’ sip. Stella ordered her signature Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie in a scotch glass much like Fredrick’s… though she treated the thing like an oversized shot glass. There was no more cream cutie to be seen, which was par for the course with her.

Sveta didn’t fully take after her sister and had opted for a rum and cola—efficient, reliable, and tasty, in Fredrick’s eyes. Just like Sveta herself.

About half of it remained after the toast.

Midnight had taken a decent-sized gulp of her coffee liqueur. She had completely horked down all the whipped cream that came with it, too… Fredrick wasn’t exactly sure how, but he knew that was an omen to some aspect of her life.

He figured it had something to do with that longer, seemingly dexterous tongue of hers.

Schneeblume—to Fredrick’s both absolute respect and horror—had annihilated an entire stein of Alemaneian imported beer with a cute ‘ahhh’ and a beaming smirk. Said stein was about the size of her head.

Then again, Fredrick figured that from the shit she’d seen and been through in the more recent years, alcohol was probably her solace. Again, he had eternal respect for this mare… but goddamn she was smol. He literally couldn’t get over this dichotomy between her appearance and her background.

In a way, it was unsettling for his Neanderthal-ass brain.

Highground shotgunned her glass of water. Because of course she would stick to her word in being the only responsible one tonight.

Fredrick knew he owed her dinner and alcohol of her choice at a later date.

“Alright!” Fredrick announced as he sat back down in his chair.

He confidently reclined back as he picked up a menu.

“Now… whose trouser snake do ya have to charm to get some damn appetizers around here. What do y’all want?” he kicked off the search for nourishment.

Really though, it was mainly an excuse so he personally could get food into his gob—he really was starving. It was also an excuse to say that he cared about everyone in attendance enough to make sure they had sated stomachs as the drinks continued to roll in at a steady pace.

Time passed at a smooth, yet easy pace for Fredrick. With his sleeves rolled up and having reclined in his chair after two more gin and gingers as well as about seven fully loaded Equestrian potato skins… life was just fantastic in this moment.

Much like on the trek over to the Steel Talon, Fredrick was more than content to say little and just live within the massive, animated conversation amidst all five mares.

Of course, this first stop wasn’t going to be the highlight of the night—not by a long shot. Other than responding when asked and occasionally offering his input, Fredrick opted to let the food and drink ferment within his gut, and calm the hunger jitters before the alcohol kicked in. That’s when all the extra fun would begin for him.

Besides, the real gift for him was seeing Stella at the center of attention amongst her closest friends.

Perhaps it was also the alcohol involved, but Stella was just much more gorgeous tonight than she normally was… which was impressive by Fredrick’s standards. Maybe it was the fact that she never frequented midriff tops, like, at all. Maybe it was the fact that through her raucous laughter and typical antics amongst her peers, a couple locks of her mane dislodged themselves from her usual kempt manestyle… which in turn helped frame her face.

Or maybe it was when Stella would catch him silently staring—admiring her. She would reciprocate with a wink and a smile of her own that told him everything he needed to know.

Or some combination of all the above, Fredrick ultimately figured.

During a conversation in which Fredrick was more of a passive listener, he felt somepony tap and hold his right shoulder. Angling his head over, he found Highground reclining comfortably in her chair, seemingly also taking a break from the massive amount of energy at the table.

“How’re you doing, kid?” she asked plainly whilst she continued to sip on her water.

Fredrick smirked at her, then reclined back in his own seat so he could talk to her properly. He stretched out and sighed, satisfied.

“Fuckin’ fantastic, lemme tell ya. It’s already a awesome night—Echo’s is gonna be even better probably… and Stella’s having a blast so far. Can’t ask for much more,” he said.

Highground reflected his gentle, prideful smile with her own batpony, fangy flair.

“Nah, you did good, Fred. And you’ve been doing good this entire time—fantastic, even,” she replied.

Fred cocked an eyebrow.

“Whadd’ya mean?” he asked. “As in… us?”

Highground nodded once.

“Duh! I’m actually pretty impressed after all this time. You’ve managed to keep Stella wrangled for however long you’ve been together… almost a year, maybe? You haven’t died of a catastrophic stroke, and she hasn’t killed herself yet. I consider that a win!”

She tossed back the rest of her water and sat the empty glass on the table. A waitress promptly came by and refilled it nigh-instantaneously.

Highground then added a little something extra with a certain bit of crypticism mixed with a healthy amount of coyness:

“It may be a bit early for this, and I’m totally pushing boundaries here… but all of this success for you two makes me wonder…~”

Fredrick adjusted his legs and lay his right arm over the back of his chair. He curled the right side of his mouth upward and stared into those conniving, golden eyes of the older batpony. She was unreadable to him, unfortunately.

He cocked an eyebrow.

“Wonder what, Highground?” he dared ask, taking the lure out of sheer curiosity.

She rolled her eyes.

“What, do I really gotta be more obvious than that? Okay fine—when’re you gonna marry the bitch?”

Fredrick felt like he was gonna send the chair sailing backwards from how hard he recoiled at her words. Said words felt like they actually had weight to them, and he got dickslapped by the ethereal truth of Canterlot’s Finest.

Was this ethereal, police brutality?

Apparently sompony else noticed his sudden reflexes:

“Oi, love! You alright over there? You looked like ya shit out yer own fuckin’ spinal column,” Stella called from across the table.

Fredrick glanced over to his marefriend, who was eyeing him curiously while surrounded by the rest of the group… whose eyes were also on him. He felt like a deer in the headlights of Thomas the Dank Engine about to force his way up his starfish.

“Oh yeAH!” Fredrick called back… perhaps a little too eagerly.

He thumbed towards the stoic cop who had a barely visible, shit-eating up-curl of her lips.

“All good over here, just having a lovely bit of catching up with Highground. She asks some tough questions, Stel’!”

Stella chuckled.

“Aye… that she does! Lemme know if ye need some backup,” she said, then winked, much to the giggling delight of the rest of the group.

Fred shot her a lone finger-gun.

“You got it, toots.”

He figuratively wiped a bucket of sweat off his forehead and urgently turned back to Highground.

“Are you insane?!” he asked, quieting his words down to just below the ambient volume.

“You’re really gonna blurt out a question like that when she and everypony else are here? We’re just barely coming up on a year together, anyway! What’s the matter with you??”

Highground offered a halfhearted shrug and gestured open-palmed:

“Did I say anything wrong, Fredrick?” she asked.

Fredrick opened his mouth and gestured appropriately as if the answer was so obvious.

“Yeah, well—I mean it’s a bit… We’re not read… In that sense… hmph,” he struggled.

It was Highground’s turn to give off a smugness that only the finest anime girls could muster… and then put forth a knowing, but rhetorical question.

“Seems like things aren’t so obvious to you as you thought, huh?”

“What I’m really curious about…” Fredrick said. “…is why this of all questions is coming up now of all times? Seems a bit early to be thinking about something like that, don’t you think?”

Highground leaned forward and smirked.

“Maybe just a little bit… but if I’m being completely honest, you two act just like a newly-married couple already. It’s cute as hell. Surprising, but cute as hell.”

Fredrick shrugged.

“I’m… not really sure what to do with that information, though. T-Thank you? Heh,” he replied awkwardly.

“What I’m really trying to say, Fredrick… is that I don’t really see Stella with anypony else but you. And I think that’s vomit-inducing but it’s still cute as hell,” she added.

Fredrick smiled at her, then nodded. A familiar, most-welcome warmness returned to his cheeks when he glanced at Stella once again.

How happy she looks…

“Fair,” he said. “I can’t imagine myself with someone else either. But again—be things as they may—we’re still a good way off from tying the knot, methinks.”

Highground again shrugged with a shit-eating coyness that only served to make him internally roll his eyes.

“I dunno, man… anything’s possible around these parts,” she teased.

Fredrick was not convinced in the slightest.

“Really, HG? Think of how you know me. Even if I love her to death and beyond—which I do—do you think I’d just jump into fuckin’ marriage before even a year has passed?” he asked.

“Well… you did manage to find yourself here in the first place through essentially impossible means. Based on that, I’d wager the impossible is possible with you, Fredrick,” she said.

Fred went completely stoic—that had been one of the most paradoxically true things that he had ever heard about himself. It made zero sense yet all the sense at the same time.

He couldn’t help but place his forehead in his hand, wide-eyed.

“Jesus Christ you’re right… holy fuck I can’t believe I just lost that argument. I should just kill myself right now,” he said.

Stella’s voice entered the conversation, and Fredrick felt both her arms draped over his chest and wrap themselves comfortably around him. She shimmied her chest happily against the back of his head.

“Kill yerself over what, love? Ye fuckin’ better not. I’ll fuckin’ kill ya.”

Fredrick smiled and once again let any of his worries melt away at his marefriend’s touch… especially when she kissed the top of his head. He angled his head up to her and shared an unexpected yet no-way unwelcome ‘inverted kiss.’

Firm tits against the back of his head weren’t nothin’ to balk at, either.

“Bah, nothin’. You know me, just playing at topping myself off at the slightest inconvenience. You know, normal human things. Again, Highground just asks some thought-provoking questions, is all,” he said.

“Pfft, of course she does!” she said, then addressed the mare in question.

“Oi, cunt! Don’t go makin’ him consider ‘ye olde fast drop and a hard stop,’ aye? That’s my fuckin’ job!”

Fredrick could only assume from under Stella’s chin that she leveled some kind of ‘face’ at Highground… since Highground in front of him stuck her tongue out at her. He chuckled at the display and lovingly tapped Stella’s forearms as he looked back up at her.

“You look like you’re having a good time, babe! Well at least I hope you are, heh…” he said.

Again, any of Fredrick’s residual concerns were put to bed when Stella exaggeratedly smooched his lips… which sent a euphoric rush to his cheeks and a wide smile to his face once she pulled back.

“Oh fuck yes, love! I’d’ve loved it even if this was the end of the night, right here! It’s only been like, an hour and a half… but I didn’t realize how ehm… absorbed I’d been the last few months,” she said…

…then lamented for a few seconds.

“I fell outta touch with some good ponies so it’s been really good tae catch up… give the old cunts a stroke,” she said.

Fredrick snickered and cocked an eyebrow. The inverse orientation of their faces didn’t bother him none.

“Is that one of your famous Northern sayings? That sounds completely fuckin’ made up.”

Stella shrugged knowingly.

“Oh yeah I made that shit up—I was lazy! I have some good food in me and some booze. I’m sure ye can excuse me~,” she said, then teasingly nipped at his nose.

Fredrick lowered his eyelids and smiled lustfully up at his marefriend… who returned the look in earnest.

“Maybe just this one time,” he faux threatened, then nuzzled his nose against hers.

He took her hand in his.

“Y’all ready to head out?” he asked and turned around normally in his chair since his neck had started to bitch at him.

Stella nodded excitedly.

“Aye, I think it’s about that time—ready tae really get fuckin’ proper gashed,” she said.

Sveta figuratively strutted into the conversation, having scooted her chair closer to them.

“Saaaaaame, lass,” she added. “Besides, I’m nowhere near drunk enough tae get entertainment from watchin’ ye two eye-fuck each other.”

Fredrick wasn’t convinced at all.

“Oh don’t fuckin lie, Sveta… you enjoy every friggin’ minute of it. Maybe too much, sometimes,” he added allusively, then winked—open mouthed—at Stella.

Stella in turn winked—open mouthed—at Fredrick.

Sveta was straight-lipped and clearly unamused.

“Yer a fuckin’ dick, you know that?”

“I catch myself once in a while. It’s still funny, though.”

Sveta’s smile returned.

“Eh. Besides, if I wanted tae watch somepony eye-fuck somepony else, I’d watch fuckin’ Midnight,” she joked.

“Oh?” Fredrick dared asked, his impishness returning full force and barely able to hide itself under his shit-eating smirk. “Her downshirting you not scratch your itch?”

He gestured unabashedly towards her boobs.

“I’m sure if you just give ‘em a jiggle in that top, she wouldn’t just eye-fuck you. She’d eye ‘bend-you-over-this-goddamn-table.’”

Sveta giggled and simultaneously slapped his shoulder.

“Not me, retard!” She pointed back towards the table and lowered her voice. “Look!”

Fredrick followed Sveta’s finger and found Midnight and Schneeblume in absurdly animated conversation. Perhaps more than that though, Midnight’s chair was just a bit too close to Schnee’s.

“I can’t really read Schnee… but Middy ain’t givin’ her an eye-fuckin’. She’s fuckin’ eye-cave-explorin’ her, lads.”

Stella seemed to agree wholeheartedly—Fredrick could even detect a hint of surprise in her voice:

“Aye… I’d fuckin’ believe it. She eye-fuck’s everypony but damn she’s really givin’ her ye olde eye-dickening, methinks. Well I ain’t gonna fuckin’ break that shit up. Schnee can take care of herself… and I kinda wanna see where this goes tonight, aye?”

“Aye.”

“Same.”

Highground silently weighed in:

“Eh… fuck it. Yeah, same.”

He also noticed one other rather prominent detail when he tried listening in on said conversation.

“Huh, no shit… they’re speaking German,” he remarked.

Stella looked confused.

“Ummm… you mean Alemaneian?” she asked.

“Oh, right. Yeah. I obviously knew Schnee was Germ—Alemaneian. Fuck man, old habits are still dying hard… But I didn’t know Midnight spoke! Damn, I thought she was like, ‘Romaneian’ or some shit, right?”

Amused, he smirked and huffed at their little display.

“Her accent’s definitely different though.”

Sveta nodded to all of his observations and questions, but she gestured towards Stella to answer that question.

“Aye,” Stella said. “Her mum’s Alemaneian, so she can speak it fluently… but with a weird accent. Still better than me, though.”

Fredrick sniggered evilly.

“Stella… baby… you can barely speak Equestrian,” he quipped.

“Oh fuuuck you, twatboy!”

She squeezed his head in response as Sveta took no qualm with laughing at her sister’s expense. Considering they spoke incredibly similar—if not identically save for some more sophisticated lexicon on Sveta’s side—Fredrick wasn’t so sure why she was laughing at that.

He sure as hell wasn’t going to remind her.

“Alrighty then, fuckers…” he said just a little bit louder to get everypony else’s attention at the table.

“Feel free to start heading out. I’ll get us squared away here.” He then politely motioned towards their waitress behind him.

“Just the check, please.”

Fredrick also mentioned to Highground:

“Also, please escort everypony outside while I settle us up… and make sure they don’t get any funny ideas trying to wrest control of the bill.”

She nodded and stood up out of her chair.

“You got it Fred.

“Alright everypony, let’s go. We’ll meet him outside. Come on! Move! Let’s go!” she ordered, and expertly herded all the cats away from the table.

While Fredrick’s smugness returned at the display, it wasn’t without any verbal cues as to what the other four thought of the situation:

“Fucker!”

“Fucker!”

“Fucker!”

“Fucker!”

Fredrick waved everypony off with a cheek-to-cheek smile as they filed away from the table and out of sight. Once he found himself alone and the final bill was dropped in front of him, he couldn’t help the wave of ridiculous emotions that were welling up within him… the sheer absurdity of this night—even though everything was quite tame by this point by anyone’s standards—was already well-documented.

He scanned the check once-over while he ruminated.

These mares are cheap dates.

Fredrick wasn’t sure what it was… but tonight seemed vaguely, quantifiably extra special than what he already knew it would be. Part of him felt it was the simple act of indirectly taking Stella out to eat, even if she was surrounded by all her friends, which was kinda the plan.

But the more he thought about it, after all this time, Fredrick sort of missed that simplicity. For as long as he and Stella had been together, the two of them had a many variety of dates… of which bringing food to one of their rooms or going to some form of a dive bar with other shenanigans were the preferred choices.

The simple act of just sitting down and eating with each other wasn’t really emphasized all that much—just simply taking her out to dinner, that was. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in Fred’s mind, but he did miss it a bit. He also knew that if he asked Stella to have dinner with him at a nice restaurant, she’d be totally up for it!

He also wasn’t sure why he was devoting so much thought to something so simple and essentially a guaranteed outcome.

But that was life for him.

Fred left the appropriate amount to cover everything… as well as a phat tip for the waitress before he left to join everypony outside.

Upon confidently strolling outside the restaurant with an excited swagger in his step, he found the rest of the group mingling with one another at the street side… but once he was in view of everyone, Fredrick couldn’t help but feel like a tiny deer in the headlights of a semi when four pairs of eyes all honed in on him.

None of their owners seemed able to particularly get over him squaring away the entire bill.

Nevertheless though, Fredrick was prepared to stay on this hill and die on it if anyone tried to intervene or do something as heinous as ‘pay him back’ for the trouble. The man wouldn’t stand for it one bit.

“I’m not accepting repayment from any one of you. In Stella’s most intellectual words, y’all can fuck right off with that,” he preempted.

All grumbled and moaned, as expected. But what Fredrick didn’t expect was Midnight stepping forward.

“Well… if you’re going to be stubborn about this—I’d like to at least thank you properly for feeding us, at least on my behalf,” she said, and added an extra coy, upward curl of her lips.

Fredrick blinked a couple of times before sharing a look at Stella… who in turn rolled her eyes.

“No, Midnight. You can’t suck him off—especially not in the middle of the sidewalk at this hour. Fuck’s the matter with you, lass?” Stella jokingly, yet somewhat seriously reprimanded.

Fredrick whipped his head toward her.

“Excuse me… what? WHAT?” he demanded to know.

It was Midnight’s turn to exaggeratedly shrug off Stella’s words, and seeing her reaction cooled Fredrick’s nerves a tad. Not that the thought of Midnight getting on her knees in front of him wasn’t a pleasant thought to swim around in his head…

He wouldn’t put anything past this unit of a batpony.

Midnight sighed—perhaps a bit too dreamily.

“While that thought is certainly delectable…” she began with a bit too much of a sexually desirous tone. “I meant something a little tamer than that, Stella. Have you no faith in me?” she quipped.

Stella looked like someone told her a historical fact.

“Nae. I don’t.”

Sveta did a poor job of hiding her snort. Schneeblume looked oblivious to it all, as she was just staring up and around at Canterlot’s buildings with a sparkle in her eye.

Midnight, to her credit, smirked genuinely.

“Perhaps you’re right. But in all seriousness…” she turned back to Fredrick and addressed him directly…

...but then glanced over toward Stella—an implicit question was written all over her face. Fredrick watched as Stella smirked more coyly, and then genuinely before rolling her eyes once more.

Stella gestured back towards him.

“Fiiiiiiine. As long as he’s okay with it, though.”

A confused Fredrick looked back to Midnight, who smiled warmly down at him.

“May I?” she asked with no small hint of impishness at the implicit vagueness of her request.

Fredrick didn’t know what to expect from such a cryptic question from Midnight—anything was possible with her, he learned. But a quick look back at Stella reaffirmed that whatever this amazoness had in mind, Stella was more than okay with and was more than likely in the realm of propriety.

He had been right about one thing, though—tonight was already getting weird.

Nevertheless, he eyed Midnight with suspicion.

“Ummm… sure?” he said, not at all convinced that he made the right choice in the figurative RPG that was his life.

Having said that, Midnight appeared to glow even brighter in the moonlight of the partly cloudy evening. That’s when Fredrick witnessed her—heart racing due to uncertainty in the face of that predatorial smile—bend at the waist.

The downshirt was, of course, legendary.

But what overshadowed that was the wet, single-second kiss she planted right on his cheek with an exaggerated smack. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks at the admittedly lovely gesture, though Fredrick was just happy that said blood wasn’t turning south to his Baku Oil Fields if he caught his own drift.

She pulled back and grinned evilly—accomplished.

“Thank you for dinner, Freddie… and tonight~,” she simply said, then punctuated with a cute giggle.

Fred gulped… and apparently Stella noticed that because she made no attempt to hide her snickering.

“Y-You too,” he said absentmindedly, but then smiled back up at her.

Before Fred could even reply with some genuine pleasantries such as “you’re welcome” or “it was my privilege” or “bring that ass back anytime, toots,” it seemed that the figurative dams had broken.

And said figurative dams were holding back a tidal wave of gratitude in the form of the mares lining up to ‘thank’ him, as it were. It appeared that he was literally about to drown in mares, as platonic as it all was.

In the briefest moments before any dialogue was exchanged, Fredrick wanted to feel that he was a bit nervous about this, much like the feeling of getting sized up by Midnight. But he knew deep down, that would be a goddamn lie.

This was a very benign fantasy of his, and he was going to enjoy every minute of it in all it’s platonic goodness.

The cherry on top was this entire slug of events taking place literally right outside the Steel Talon… where the sidewalk was still crowded with to-be patrons and ponies going about their evening.

Stella swaggered herself on into Fredrick’s willing hold with the usual smile and visage of hers.

“Ya know… where the fuck’re me manners?” she asked rhetorically before nuzzling Fredrick’s nose, much to his enjoyment and blushed face.

Fredrick smiled brightly as Stella hooked her right hand around the nape of his neck and roped him into dipping her low… something he rather enjoyed, especially since it was the herald of some brilliant kissing.

“Thanks fer dinner, love,” she added, then pressed her lips nice and firmly against his.

Fredrick gladly shared a ‘classical’ kiss with the mare of his dreams and affections, and relished in the feeling of her wet lips on his. This—in conjunction with the smell of her coat and the firmness of the small of her back by which he eagerly supported her—was a delicacy that he would always entertain.

Goddamn I love this mare…

Fredrick righted Stella properly on her hooves after a few seconds and separated from her fully. He paid little mind to the teeny, nigh-invisible strand of saliva that connected their lips for an extra second longer.

He lidded his eyes confidently at her.

“Always.”

Sveta was hot on Stella’s heels with her own iconic sashay. Her face—here entire aura in the moment—played host to the confidence of a mare who knew too much, had participated in too much, and knew she had a certain few—if minor—unspoken ‘liberties’ that nopony else was afforded.

Fredrick observed as she and Stella shared a single, sisterly ‘look’ that spanned all but a few fractions of a second. In that small bout of eye-contact, he could only figure that a wealth of information, bureaucracy, and approvals were gone through…

…all which culminated in Sveta unabashedly pecking his lips.

Fredrick was more than happy to reciprocate the gesture—she had been vetted, after all. Plus, it was always something to have any gorgeous mare that shared the love of his life’s genetic smile beam up at him.

“Cheers for dinner, mate. Yer a great lad, even though yer a fuckin’ ass pipe sometimes, aye?” she added her own flair to make up for Stella’s sappier performance.

Fredrick shrugged and gestured gently, yet intelligibly with his hands. There was really nothing with which he could come back to that.

“Sure thing, Sveta… and yeah, let’s go with that,” he said, smirking at the imagery of her choice of insult.

And then, there was Schneeblume.

Fredrick could already feel the heart palpitations coming on the moment those lavender eyes on that pristine face of hers beamed right up at him. What became even worse for his cardiovascular health was when Schnee got onto the tips of her hooves to plant one on his left cheek.

“Thank you very much for our dinner, Fredrick! Stella is a very lucky mare,” she added.

Fredrick felt like squee-ing like a little girl, but only by the sheer force of his will did he refrain from doing so. He also figured this was probably why most younger men died of heart attacks—preventing their internal cuteness overload from having an outlet, or manifesting itself.

“You are so welcome, Schnee! And sometimes she’s lucky…” he said, then shot Stella an impish glare.

“...the rest of the time she’s probably just trying not to hang me. Or at least make it look like a somewhat convincing accident,” he said, tossing a wink over in her direction.

...much to her apparent, playful chagrin.

“Oi, fuck you, cunt! I love you, bitchboy!”

Fredrick made a kissy-face at her.

“Love you too, my little cockgoblin.”

She winked right back at him.

At this point, that’s when Fredrick noticed that Highground was standing off to the side and observing their bout of shenanigans from a ‘safe’ distance. He chuckled at her expressionless face—with maybe the slightest tug at the right side of her lips.

She shook her head.

“I’m not kissing you on the cheek.”

Fredrick echoed the exact same sentiment.

“Yeah… that would’ve been way outta character for you. Though to be fair, didn’t expect that even from anyone else here.”

He shrugged and turned back to everypony else, before pointing directly down the sidewalk and getting a head start in the herding process. Highground seemed to read his mind and already began walking with him.

“Righto! I say we get to Echo’s and pickle our livers with shots of hard alcohol—how copy?”

Like a mystical spell, apparently Fredrick only had to say the right combination of words for everypony to immediately fall into step with him—much more easily than he had expected, given the alcohol and good times already introduced thus far.

Stella dutifully took her place on his right side, and linked her arm with his.

“Solid copy!” she said.

Sveta eagerly sauntered into step on his left side.

“My body is solid!”

Midnight was not far behind, and neither was Schneeblume.

“Hmmm I like things… solid~,” the former said, finger suggestively on her lips.

“Sehr solide~.”

“Goddamnit, Schnee! Don’t encourage her!”

[Echo’s Bizarre Adventure | Twenty-five Minutes Later]

Fredrick remembered one time when Stella took him to the Stalactite, and he was in awe at the design aesthetic of it all… what with the ‘rock lights’ and the fact that it was a place that essentially was tailored specifically to batponies.

He also remembered his time up in the Northern Mountains—his first night there when he, Stella, and Sveta made their way over to Crescent’s. Same exact idea with the lighting and the tailoring to batponies… though arguably much more aggressive given the area and what went down without seemingly a shred of extra thought by the general patronage.

Fred was getting somewhat similar vibes from Echo’s, but in a more ‘refined’ way… at least that was the word he would use to describe it in his head, appropriateness be damned. That was likely because there was a distinct lack of at least two fights at any given time, unlike up north.

Simple stuff, really.

It was even simpler to just waltz right in with five gorgeous mares in tow… and also garner the exact same reactions as he did back at the Steel Talon. There was, however, a notable addition of drunk thoughts and occasional whistles (from mares and stallions) that the group ate up with varying degrees of nonchalant-ness.

Fredrick also never got over batpony eyes seemingly glowing in the dark when there was a lack of abundant light.

He quickly noted the modest dance floor straight ahead with some lovely music playing overhead, as well as the dive bar-esque watering hole that lined the entire right. Tables and other more intimate seating areas took up the remaining space in between. He figured all of these places would be getting ample use during their time here, tonight.

This place is awesome!

Fred pivoted and led the group to an open section of the bar. While he opted to stand, Stella and Schnee climbed up on the high stools while everypony else joined him on their hooves.

As for Stella, her bright, wide eyes were scanning the entire architecture of the interior, drinking up everything she could and actively burning the pictures into her brain.

“Alriiiight! Let’s get the real party started!” Fred announced, then pointed at everyone questioningly.

“Vodka good for everyone to start off with? After that, just get whatever the hell y’all want.”

Like the true chad he aspired to be, he didn’t even give anypony else a chance to answer before turning towards the bartender—a turquoise-coated unicorn mare in a uniformed tank top who eyed him questioningly.

Thankfully for Fred, everypony behind his back seemed to agree with his decision:

“Aye! A fine start!”

“Good for me!”

“Water for me, of course.”

“Ja!”

“Mmmm, quite~.”

Fredrick cleared his throat when he locked eyes with the bartender.

“Hi there! A flight of five shots of your finest vodka—and one of water, for our designated responsibility holder, please,” he said, smiling.

Said tall, slender unicorn mare—whom Fredrick could barely make out her name as ‘Vel’ via her nametag—continued to eye him up curiously. Fredrick paid it no mind and waited patiently for her to have her fill. He wasn’t exactly known to everypony in Canterlot, so a few wayward looks from anypony who hadn’t seen the one-and-only human in existence was to be expected.

After a few seconds, she smiled back at him.

“Well alright then, good lookin’! We closing out now? Or do you wanna run a tab?” she asked.

Fred nodded at the mention of the last part of her sentence.

“Tab, please,” he said.

Vel smiled back at him.

“You got it!” she said, then immediately got to work.

Everypony got extra comfortable with one another when they all crowded in, enraptured by the sudden show that Vel the bartender was putting on in just pouring simple shots of vodka.

First, she levitated six shot glasses, encasing them in a cyan sheen of magic whilst holding out her hands for added effect—Fredrick thought it made her look sort of like a Jedi with her hand motions.

Then, as the color of the lighting in the room changed to reflect the musical ambiance for the adjacent dance floor, she willed a brand new bottle of mysterious vodka from underneath the table, and opened it up. In a feat that nearly threw Fredrick (and everypony else) for a loop, Vel then hung the open bottle upside down—with no spillage in the slightest, since she plugged the hole with her magic.

Fredrick heard both Sabre sisters scream in fright, and he felt Stella grip his right arm with iron fists, as did Sveta on his left. Sparing a milisecond’s glance at both of them nearly made him lose his shit—neither could bear the thought of perfectly pristine alcohol going to waste on the ground, it seemed.

Vel then had all six shot glasses ‘randomly’ orbit the upside down vodka bottle, as if they were electrons orbiting the nucleus of an atom… which made Fredrick’s jaw hit the counter and then tumble to the floor. Combined with the ambient lighting and the natural light emitted from magic, the scene served to cast a gentle glow over the attractive bartender, who clearly enjoyed what she was doing.

Fredrick could also have sworn that he heard Midnight give out the tiniest groan of pleasure. He had no desire to find out for sure, but he would take his peripheral observations for what they were, because it seemed plausible enough.

Finally, each time one of the orbiting shot glasses passed under the top of the bottle, Vel would let just enough of the elixir dispense into said glass… before then lining up the full glasses on the counter in front of them.

After five glasses were filled, Vel placed the bottle back under the counter and simply filled up the last glass with water. She placed it right next to the other five in line and beamed.

“All yours, guys!” she said with a bright smile.

Fredrick just had to slow-clap at the display.

“Good fuckin’ show, lass!” Stella exclaimed.

“Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much!” Fredrick added on top of his marefriend’s words.

Vel took a curtsy.

“Thank you kindly! Let me know when you’re ready for another round!” she said.

Fredrick was the first to grab his shot, and everypony else followed suit. He then turned around to face all of them with his glass raised.

“Now whaddya y’all say we really get Stella’s birthday turned up a few levels?” he asked rhetorically.

All raised their glasses and smirked.

“Aye!”

“Aye indeed!”

“I’ll turn up in spirit.”

“Oh yes… This one will probably get me very tipsy. I love being a lightweight~.”

“We drink!”

Getting the all clear, Fredrick raised his glass into the middle of their group.

“To Stella!”

All seemed to get the message right away, and clinked their own shot glasses against his.

“To Stella!” they all said in unison.

And down all six hatches, it all went. The first thing he noticed once said alcoholic liquid slid down his gullet, was that it was indeed unmistakably vodka.

At least in regards to taste—battery acid mixed with some other profane materials that had no business being together. It tasted awful, and he had no idea how people could drink this and claim to his face that they liked the taste of vodka. However, what Fredrick figured separated regular vodka from this ‘finest’ vodka of the establishment, was its smoothness.

True, it tasted like over-fermented shit, but when it slid down his throat like the semen of the devil that vodka was, it didn’t peel his throat skin like wallpaper as normal vodka was oft to do.

In fact, he felt he might as well have been drinking shittily filtered water that would start him well on the path to drunkenness. And that in and of itself was a substantial improvement!

Fredrick slammed the shot glass back down on the counter as the familiar alcoholic warmth diffused through his core and up to his face.

“Wow! That was… actually pretty damn awesome!”

“Fuck me… that tasted like shit but I didn’t hate that!” Sveta noted.

Stella seemed to agree, and regarded the empty glass impressed.

“I’ll say! Fuck I could go fer a few more of those before the shit taste gets tae me…” she mused.

Schneeblume seemed to be in similar straits, but rather than let everypony know right off the back, she had already opted to turn back to Vel.

“Can… can I have another one of those, please?” she asked timidly, which earned straight-up laughter from both Stella and Midnight.

“Absolutely!” the bartender eagerly agreed.

Fredrick watched silently as he found himself a passive listener in the middle of a small conversation with Stella, Sveta, and Highground…

Midnight’s laugh was too contagious sometimes.

“Hah! I never took you for a vodka mare, Schnee,” the larger batpony mare said.

With topped off shot glass in hand, Schneeblume threw her head back and dropped her second serving down into her stomach… and still didn’t miss a beat:

“Ja… helps me forget,” she rebutted so nonchalantly.

Fredrick flinched at that one.

With how wide Midnight’s eyes went… and how awkwardly her posture had sullen, Fred nearly felt second-hand embarassment and cringe on her behalf. What made it even funnier was that the solar guard didn’t notice that slight twinkle and unobvious, impish curl of Schnee’s lips.

But she found out quickly enough.

Schneeblume playfully slapped Midnight on the shoulder with the palm of her prosthetic, which elicited a rather loud yelp from her… as well as Midnight needing to massage her deltoid.

“I’m just messing with you, dear. You need to lighten up!” she said in her native language.

Fredrick saw Midnight’s face elastically bounce back from light wincing to flirtatious.

“Heh, well weirdly enough, I’m a massive lightweight so… how about another drink?” Midnight asked. The tone in her voice for Fredrick seemed almost oddly meek.

Schneeblume beamed.

“Now you’re talking!” she said, and Midnight huddled with her at the bar.

Fredrick shook his head at the display, not bothering to hide his chuckling anymore… though he did want to see where the two of them ‘ended up’—so to speak—by the end of the night. Whatever they were saying to each other in Alemaneian, Fred could only pick out bits and pieces of it. It had to be somewhat nice, based on their facial expressions.

His attention was drawn back to the rest of his group when Stella kissed him on his cheek, and then slunk herself under his arm. He looked down at her and met her glowing gaze with his own.

“Hey there, hotstuff.”

She batted her eyelashes at him and smiled devilishly at the same time.

“Let’s do another shot together! Then, I wanna do something… special…~” she said, and put forth no attempt at hiding something that would certainly test his comfort zone around alcohol, but that he would have fun with nonetheless.

Just a hunch.

But like with most things relating to Stella, Fred was more than eager to dive in headfirst—especially on her birthday of all nights.

“Fuck yeah!” he said, much to her immediate delight.

He turned back to their noble bartender, who had just finished serving Midnight and Schnee their second and third round, respectively. She lit up right away when she saw him looking for her.

“Hey, Vel! Got any flavored vodka?” he asked.

Heralded by the lighting up of her horn, four different colored bottles were magically raised into the air.

“You know it! Got blueberry, strawberry, pineapple, and mango!”

Fredrick glanced knowingly at Stella… who glanced knowingly right back up at him.

“Pineapple. Definitely pineapple for the two of us,” he said, then looked over and back towards Sveta and Highground.

“You want in on this, Sveta? And want anymore water… or food, Highground?” he asked.

Sveta stepped up to the plate right away.

“Aye, count me in fer strawberry!” she said.

Highground lifted a single palm to Fredrick and shook her head.

“I’m good. Thanks, though!” she said with a thankful smile.

Fred shot her a thumbs up. But, before he could confirm the order, there was a sudden, distinctly batpony ‘EEEE’ just to his right. Midnight forcefully inserted herself into the conversation with an almost crackhead-esque glowing radiance about her.

“I HEARD ‘MANGO!’ CAN I HAVE MANGO VODKA? PLEASE, FRED. PLEEEAAASE I NEED IT!” she nearly begged him, gripping him by the shoulders and peering directly into his soul with the force of someone that had an addiction.

Of course, he didn’t need any convincing.

“You got it, Midnight! The more the merrier!” he said, then nodded toward Vel.

She smiled and nodded back, then began preparing their next flight.

But, like the great friend she was, Fredrick heard Stella put forth her concerns.

“Uhhh, mate? Ya sure about three shots in like, six minutes, love? Yer the lightest weight out of fuckin’ all of us…”

But Midnight definitely wasn’t going to say no to mango, it seemed.

“Pshhhh! I’m fiiiine. Besides, it’s a party tonight! We’re supposed to get smashed… what’s the worst that could happen?” she asked.

Fredrick lightly flinched at hearing the last part of her sentence. It didn’t matter who it came from, but from his experience in Equestria and on this world, anypony saying that exact string of words was the harbinger of some… interesting times to come. Still fun and memorable, but perhaps not in the moment.

He already began the mental process of resetting the ‘No irl shitposting accidents in ___ days’ counter in his head. But, as he had said before, the more the merrier.

Right then, Vel had finished pouring their new round of shots and placed them in a line on the counter. Fredrick and company claimed their own.

Fredrick began the next toast, and Stella, Midnight, and Sveta raised their shot glasses in unison.

“Number two for us, and number three for Midnight… but who’s counting, right?” he quipped. “Cheers, gals!”

“Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

All four clinked their glasses together, and down the hatch it all went.

Everyone’s eyes went wide in pleasure… and then everyone winced in revulsion. It seemed par for the course when it came to vodka—flavored vodka no less.

Midnight was the first to break the silence after clicking her lips a couple times.

“Fuck me~, that tasted amaaazing for about two seconds... and then like shit all the way down,” she noted.

With residual disgust still written all over his face (despite the already warm feeling beginning to diffuse all over his body), Fredrick was more than inclined to agree with that assessment:

“I’ll say… that was the equivalent of putting ranch dressing on a dog turd.”

Stella piped up with her own observation—she didn’t appear to harbor any differing sentiment:

“Mate, no one actually likes vodka. People pretend tae like it so they don’t have tae feel bad fer drinkin’ just tae get drunk,” she said.

Sveta dared to be a contrarian with a lone finger raised:

“Oi! I actually kinda enjoyed that!”

Stella wasn’t convinced at all.

“Nae ya didn’t, cunt… quit tryin’ tae be different fer the sake of it. Suck me asspipe.”

“Fiiiine, it was shite.”

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. But goddamn if it doesn’t get the fuckin’ job done, aye?” she asked slyly, rhetorically.

But then she eyed Fredrick with the face that knew fun times were coming.

“Now… we’re gonna do somethin’ special,” she alluded.

Everyone’s interest was peaked at that mention—even Midnight and Schnee, who were getting more visibly on the tipsier side.

Fredrick, however, felt the most interested with how Stella was practically undressing him with her eyes.

“Count me in! What do we need?” he asked.

Stella turned to Vel, who was likely listening in but was casually going about her business… so it seemed.

“Oi love, cold we get a double shot of Sapphire Cream Cutie, please?” she politely asked before turning to Fredrick with a glowing smile.

“We’re gonna do ‘The Tumbler,’” she announced.

Sveta giggled evilly… then went into a full-on laughing fit. Midnight squee’d with anticipation. Everyone else—including Fredrick—regarded one another with both confusion and intrigue.

Vel smirked… perhaps a bit too knowingly.

“Sure thing! Coming right up!”

Fredrick glanced back at Stella and locked eyes with her. With their gazes honed in on one another, he cocked his head, and there began another one of their instantaneous, yet wordless conversations. There was no magic involved… but they could just read each other like a book, despite Stella’s best efforts to retreat behind a facade once in a while.

What are you planning?

She lowered her eyelids.

Something you’ll love…~ Trust me.

Don’t I always?

Vel placed a double-shot of Northern Sap right on the counter, earning everypony’s attention.

“Go crazy, you two!”

Fredrick took a quick look around at everyone before inquiring further.

“Alright, I’ll bite… what the fuck’s ‘The Tumbler?’”

Stella was more than happy to explain:

“To put it simply…” she began. “I drop the entire shot in me mouth. Then, we make out. All the while, we shift the drink back and forth between each other’s mouths like a tumbler until we decide to split it and swallow… however long that takes.”

Fredrick was so down for this! Anything that let him attach his lips to hers was merely a means to an end, and he was one-hundred percent approving…

...unless he had to start kissing dudes for the privilege for some reason. Then he’d start asking some rather pertinent questions.

“Lets. Do. This,” he said excitedly.

All systems were a go, but Stella did have one more point to make:

“Oh, and as I’m sure you’re aware, don’t spit it out. As always, spitters are quitters.”

Sveta, Highground, and Midnight all nodded in unison.

“Aye.”

“Yup.”

“Such a waste…~”

Schneeblume also nodded.

“Natürlich,” she said with the slightest, tipsy edge to her voice.

Everyone almost decapitated themselves from how hard they turned towards the much smaller, adorable Flower Mare.

The former elite soldier shrugged and stared back at everyone in the group like they were the weird ones.

“What?” she asked. “You really expected me to slug it out in the trenches for four goddamn years and not get me a helping of some nice, ha—”

“OKAAAAY! Time for the Tumbler!” Fredrick interjected.

Everypony was a more-than-willing audience when Fredrick and Stella stood in front of one another. The batpony held the holy shot in her right hand, and carefully brought it to her mouth whilst never breaking eye contact with him.

To be fair, that was also because Fredrick got lost in her eyes, and for the briefest of moments forgot that they were gonna do something weird with alcohol.

Sveta’s voice brought them back to reality:

“Fuckin’ get on with it, lads! I wanna see this shit!” she said.

Much unlike Stella, she didn’t even rise to that, and instead Fredrick watched her dumped the contents of the shot glass into her mouth. He then watched as—with her mouth full—she reached forward, hooked her arm around his neck, and then brought his lips down to meet hers.

Fredrick heard the cheers of encouragement from all around the two of them. Hell, he could’ve also sworn that friggin’ Vel was in on this. It all became background noise as he let his eyes fall shut. He pressed his tongue forward as he had been instructed to do just a minute earlier—making out, after all. Their mouths opened internally to one another.

He felt a sudden rush of a familiar, if slightly warmer Northern Sap begin to drain into his mouth… especially as Stella placed her other hand onto his shoulder and gently willed him lower. Fredrick got the message, as in order for this to be a ‘tumbling’ motion, they had to exchange via gravity. The two of them were a few inches difference in size, so it made complete sense to his quickly inebriating mind.

Fredrick ran his palms over Stella’s exposed stomach… and then over her lower back, where his fingers found the rather unconventional prize that he loved so much: her back dimples. He ran the tips of his middle fingers over the prominent divots while he swirled the alcoholic liquid around in his mouth.

The familiar ‘oomph’ of said alcohol did well to warm his mouth, and the taste, though slightly diluted, was nonetheless as exquisite as he had come to expect from Stella’s drink of choice.

Fredrick slowly stood tall again, and the alcohol ‘tumbled’ back into Stella’s mouth, and the process began anew. What made this ‘round’ a little more sensuous was when Fredrick heard and felt Stella softly moaning as the alcohol made its way back into her mouth.

And that’s sort of when he lost himself in the moment. Fredrick felt that he was now just sharing a lovely moment with Stella… just with some extra steps. He wrapped his arms completely around her midsection and pulled her flush against him, which earned him a surprised but wholly welcoming squeak from his mare.

But as the challenge had dictated, both he and Stella kept the two shots of Northern Sap completely suspended and distributed between their mouths. Fredrick had pushed his tongue forward again, and Stella met him halfway with her own. There, their tongues soaked together in alcoholic bath as the two fell into a comfortable cadence… one that ensured that they didn’t drown themselves.

And as they fell deeper into the embrace of their emotions, they began to care less and less about their audience—completely forgot about it, even.

Fredrick only realized that they existed when he heard Sveta’s voice after an unknown amount of time:

“...fuck me, I think they’re actually just makin’ out now. Did they even swallow the goddamn alcohol?”

He also heard Midnight giggling furiously.

“Mmm… I call the next turn~!”

And then he heard a germanic voice say:

“Maybe we should give them some space…”

Highground seemed to agree with that sentiment.

“Yeah, good call. Let’s move down a smidge and give ‘em a minute…”

“Aye… or fuckin’ fifty.”

“Oh shush, you.”

That was totally fine by Fredrick. He and Stella really hadn’t had a proper moment with each other this evening. This would provide him a quick recharge to his social batteries so the night could continue as smoothly as possible.

Thankfully, Stella appeared to be on the same wavelength as him… if she gripping his neck harder and trying to fuse his face to hers was any indication at all.

And finally after what seemed like a few minutes of relative alone time, the two divvied up the alcohol and swallowed their share before separating fully. Fredrick didn’t open his eyes just yet… especially as he could still feel Stella’s heavy breathing breaking upon his face.

As did the pungent, yet in no way unpleasant smell of Northern Sap on her breath. He figured this development was no different for her.

Noses a fraction of an inch apart from one another, Fredrick opened his eyes and found those golden pools he loved to dive into for a swim, staring right back at him.

Stella was positively radiating.

“Heh… that was fuckin’ somethin’, love…~” she remarked dreamily.

Oh yes. It definitely was. Fredrick wasn’t so sure that those words were really powerful enough to convey a sudden upswell of a torrent of emotions within him. As had always transpired when he would just happen to even merely glance in Stella’s direction, the heart palpitations would return with a vengeance.

But good lord did his core feel light… that tickling sensation right behind his diaphragm of those ethereal butterflies were the most severe that he had in a very, very long time.

Perhaps it was the alcohol finally starting to get to him, and lowering his inhibitions while amplifying his emotions. Maybe it was this, combined with some extra thoughts given to Highground’s words back at the Steel Talon, as well...

And really, there was only a specific set of words that came to mind as a proper response:

“I love you, Stella…” he whispered.

He could survive alone on just seeing her light up while looking so innocently struck at whenever he put all of his feelings into words like that.

Stella softly pecked his lips… and then once more for good measure.

“I love you too, Fredrick… more than ye know… cunt,” she added with what Fredrick would consider equal sincerity.

He couldn’t ask for more from this mare in front of him.

Fred smirked.

“I hope you got everything you’ve wanted for your birthday so far, tonight,” he said, but suddenly had to belch into his hand when gas snuck up on him.

Oh yeah… those shots were starting to work their magic slowly but surely.

He then continued:

“And if we missed something… let me know and I’ll see what I can do.”

Stella smiled right back up at him, cutely cocked her head, and shook it gently. She also ran her hand through Fred’s hair… a feeling that he would be legitimately willing to kill for every time.

“I have you, mate. All of this is fuckin’ awesome, and I couldn’t ask fer anythin’ more… but I really only needed you in me life tonight,” she said.

Fredrick tactically kissed the top of her head to stave off the sudden urge to shed exactly three tears at those words. Before he could add to that, though, Stella continued:

“Oh, and I kinda lied. I could ask fer one more thing. Can we shag later?” she asked so hintingly, yet so matter-of-factly that Fredrick had to quell the urge to giggle.

“I’ll never say no to that,” he said.

Stella was quick to point out:

“Ya said no tae me tonight back in yer room. Ya fuckin’ swerved me!” she jokingly prodded, poking him in the side.

“Dude, we had guests coming over,” Fred so matter-of-factly pointed out.

“And…?” Stella replied, gazing up at him as if he was the weird one.

A familiar voice cut in from their immediate left:

“Oi, love-cunts!” Sveta called out, and earned both of their attentions, which reminded them that they still had somewhat of an audience that was enjoying the show… perhaps a little too much to be appropriate, but who was keeping score?

“If you two retards ‘re done gargling each other’s tonsils, I think we’d all like tae start dancing right about now before we get fuckin’ sober again!”

“Alright, alright. Calm yer fuckin’ tits, we’re finished now,” Stella replied.

“Oh there’ll probably be some fuckin’ tits, I’m sure…” her sister threw one last bit of allusion at her.

Stella, however, did not hide behind such allusions:

“Aye… and they won’t be yours.”

She turned back to Fredrick.

“Let’s continue this later, aye? Oh, and let’s take one more shot and get down with it!” she said to him.

And he was more than okay with both of those plans… and apparently Vel heard that loud and clear, since she dropped off two shots of pineapple vodka as she passed by on her merry way.

Fredrick smiled lustfully, then picked up one of the glasses while Stella did the same for hers. They clinked them together.

“You got it, toots. Now let’s go dance… because I know you want to. Or you’re friends are gonna leave us behind,” he said.

Stella nearly spilled the contents of her glass trying to stop herself from throwing her head back in laughter. He was glad she got the first-date reference.

“Aye, well this time me friends do dance… because if they didn’t dance well… they’re no fuckin’ friends of mine, laddie,” she said.

They tossed their shots back together and slammed them both empty glasses back on the countertop.

Fredrick clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth again… his opinion hadn’t changed in the slightest.

“Yep. That still tastes like pineapple coated shit.”

Though Stella seemed to be of the same opinion, she was much less concerned about the semantics of the drink as opposed to ushering the both of them onto the dance floor.

“Aye, but as I said, it gets the fuckin’ job done right, innit?” she said, then nearly yanked him off of his stool.

Fredrick barely had time to recover from his tipsy stumble before Stella had already grabbed his hand and was tugging him towards the music… as well as trying to catch up with the rest of their group who had already begun sauntering towards said dance floor.

“Jesus Christ, Stella, I’m coming right behind you, holy shit… slow down,” he remarked.

In hindsight, he should’ve expected the return quip from her, filled to the brim with sexual impropriety:

“Well don’t fuckin’ tell me exactly what you’ll be sayin’ later tonight… right when ya fuckin’ blast rope over me arse, love! At least put some effort in the surprise!”

Fredrick added with no shortage of sarcasm dripping from his face hole:

“Oh, har-dee fucking har har. I totally didn’t see that one coming.”

Stella’s white teeth gleamed back at him over her shoulder.

“I’ll see you coming tonight,” she said.

Fredrick deadpanned. He figured it was best to leave it at that.

And after nearly tripping on the edge of the slightly-raised hardwood, the entire group finally made it with no no problems up to this point…

...other than the gradual drunkenness that beset them collectively. But that was the whole point anyway, so it wasn’t really a problem, per se. No one was gonna die of alcohol poisoning tonight—not on Highground’s watch.

Speaking of which…

Fredrick spared a look around his immediate personal space, and other than Stella still guiding him through the small lake of ponies trying to boogie it on, the scarlet-maned, off-duty police officer was indeed nowhere in sight. A quick glance back towards the bar solved that Hardy Boys-grade mystery—Miss Moral Highground was keeping her ever watchful eye on the group from the bar.

Fredrick smirked knowingly when she locked onto his questioning gaze. Snacking on what seemed like a small bowl of assorted fruit from a distance in the relative darkness, she pointed directly at him, smirked back, and nodded.

She was fine where she was. He just wanted to make sure that she didn’t feel excluded at all.

Per that single look she gave him from across the floor, all he had to do was enjoy himself with the birthday mare and the rest of the group… something he had already been—and was keen on continuing—doing.

Fredrick then felt a soft, warm, familiar hand on his cheek… a hand which physically turned his face to look upon its owner. That’s when he found Stella grinning—flashing her fangs at him as she took both his hands and placed them on the sides of her midriff.

“Can we fuckin’ dance, now, cunt?” she so ‘cutely’ asked, her hips already starting to bounce and sway to… whatever song was currently playing. She also sealed the deal when she put both of her hands on Fred’s shoulders, effectively sealing off any exit, should he have tried to find a way out.

But that would’ve never happened. If there was one thing early on that Fredrick unexpectedly enjoyed, it was dancing with this mare…

...even more so now that the two were together after all this time.

He beamed right back at her.

“Well I guess you better start leading us… or I will. And we both know how that’s gonna end,” he playfully warned.

To which Stella exaggeratedly shuddered.

“Fair point lad… Fair point. Now, where were we?” she asked impishly.

And so, Fredrick was whisked away on another dancing experience with Stella. Though, this time was distinctly different with the addition of three other mares joining the fray. With his hands already having a head start on Stella’s body, it didn’t take much work for the couple—face to face—to get themselves into a rhythm that worked for both of them, and for the music in question…

...though really, the music was an afterthought. White noise.

And as he held Stella’s toned stomach in his hands and let his eyes not only lock onto hers, but occasionally roam over her swaying form, the rest of their group also became somewhat of an afterthought. What helped this along—usually when Stella and Fredrick would separate from their little dance and circle one another—were the servers making their rounds with platters of drinks.

Each one of them had various shots of alcohol. Fredrick would grab one for him and Stella every time one of them made their way past, and the two would have a shot together before getting right back to boogying it up.

“Ahhh…” Stella exhaled after slamming back another pineapple vodka shot with him. Fredrick had lost count of which number she was on.

“That flavor never gets old… or changes. But lemme tell ye something else that never changes…!” she shouted over the music.

Fredrick smiled all-bubbly back at her, especially when he could hear the telltale, slightest slurring around the edges of her still-coherent words. She was past the point of tipsy for sure.

But to be completely fair, so was he. A quick glance around the room before he delivered his response showed him that his connection to life certainly had a little extra ping to it. And goddamn, everything just seemed so awesome… so much so it actually hurt to smile.

“Tell me, babe… what never gets old?” he dared to ask. He knew whatever Stella was going to say was gonna be fantastic. It had always been that way, and would always be that way. It was just the nature of the universe with her.

“Ya still dance like a fuckin’ queer!” she said, which immediately made herself laugh… which then morphed into an even harder laugh because alcohol.

But just as Fredrick had expected, her words were gold. As well, and perhaps thanks also to alcohol, he had somewhat of a moderately unfunny quip to that:

“Hey, I’m just imitating that one song, though…” he said.

Stella took the bait.

“Wh—what fuckin’ song?” she asked.

“The one that has those very lyrics: ‘You are the dancing queeeeer…’”

It was dumb enough to be effective while essentially drunk, because Stella ate it up completely.

“FUCKIN’... PFFT!” and then she launched into straight-up Joker-level cackling.

He sure as shit didn’t think it was that funny, but he’d never say no to genuine gut-busting laughter from his marefriend… a mare that made him nearly piss himself laughing every day that he had known her.

Stella took a minute to recover from that, but quickly opened her arms and gestured into her embrace.

“God fuckin’ damnit, Fred I love you so goddamn fuckin’ much! Come back here!” she said with an extra slurring of her expletives.

Fredrick giggled all high-pitched at that, but totally cool by him. Whatever got Stella’s gorgeous body back in his arms.

Time was meaningless now. All that really mattered to Fredrick was seeing Stella smiling as powerfully as she was at him right now. Seeing those eyes glow at him with a sparkling, glinting love that had never diminished since they first became an item—rather, it became more powerful… more profound with every little loving gesture that they had bestowed upon one another.

As for the rest of the group, they popped right back into existence when Sveta playfully danced her way in and ‘bumped’ Stella out of the way with her butt.

“Mind if I squeeze in with you turds?” she asked, the new trio quickly began dancing around one another.

Stella feigned annoyance, but was clearly happy to have her sister around.

“Fuck’s sake, lass… I let you fuck him once and suddenly yer all inserting yerself everywhere! Pun completely intended, by the way,” she said.

Fredrick, of course, didn’t mind Sveta joining in the slightest. In fact, it allowed him to catch his breath as the two Sabre sisters passively linked arms and circled one another. Like with Stella, he was also able to detect the slightest bit of slurring her words. Also much like her sister, whenever alcohol entered her system en masse, she appeared to really accentuate the “r’s” in her vocabulary.

“Well, firstly, it was four times in one night. At least let me have that fer the record, twat.

“Secondly, I would just give ye some space after yer matin’ display back at the bar… but I’d much rather not cuntstunt those two over there…” she said, motioning towards whence she came.

Fredrick and Stella both followed Sveta’s hand and found Midnight and Schneeblume putting the three of them to absolute shame.

From the display in front of him, he might as well have been watching one of those old movies where everyone was dressed all dapper and dancing like absolute mad cunts. Because that’s exactly what he was seeing in front of him—indescribable, yet perfectly coordinated swinging.

In conjunction with the over one-foot height disparity between these mares, and just how (being completely honest with himself) hot these two gals looked, they had already drawn a small crowd. Fredrick was also kind of a fan of how the edges of Schnee’s summer dress floated whenever she made any sharp movement, or twirled.

Oh, and they were beaming at each other, and laughing all the while. Fred was stunned silly.

“Dude…” he voiced. “...they’re perfectly matching each other. Fuck’s sake are they even drunk?!”

Stella pointed casually at Midnight… right as the mare in question dipped the former soldier down low to obnoxious giggling.

“Nae, mate. Midnight’s fuckin’ gone. She’s deceptively lightweight, but still somehow coherent in some manner. Schnee doesn’t look tae be any better, though… what do ya think, Svet’?”

Sveta seemed more than happy to point out what was obvious to her.

“Schnee’s gashed tae hell, mate. Don’t ask me how they’re that goddamn coordinated—that’s fuckin’ magic if I’ve ever seen any. And there’s actual fuckin’ unicorns here.”

While the music still blared and others around them continued to dance, Fredrick stood there with his right arm around Stella’s waist and Sveta on his left. They had no shortage of entertainment from the duo before them… and they just wouldn’t quit despite how tired and sweaty they looked under the technicolor lighting.

Fredrick decided to ask what, deep down, he felt might’ve been an obvious question:

“They’re gonna bone, aren’t they?”

“Oh fuckin’ totally, love. They’re goin’ spelunkin’.”

“Mate, I’d be surprised if they don’t end up with their legs wrapped around each other’s faces. Shit, I’d actually be mad if they don’t.”

“Jesus Christ, you two…” Fred wheezed.

“Hey twat, you’re the one who was thinkin’ it… though I don’t really blame ye. It is kind of a nice thought~,” Stella so graciously reminded, and teased.

Fredrick tilted his head down towards Stella, not sure what he expected out of her.

“Fantasizing about two friends getting it on? Really?”

“Oh fuck right off—don’t fuckin’ tell me you wouldn’t want a front-row seat tae that main attraction, ya poof!”

Fred couldn’t really argue with that.

“Meh, fair point. As long as you’re there with popcorn,” he said.

“You know I would be~.”

Sveta’s voice cut in from Fredrick’s immediate left… and it certainly didn’t sound like she was talking to either him or Stella.

“Mate, can ya please fuck off before I slap yer shit! Somehow you didn’t get the message the first goddamn time—I’m not fuckin’ interested!”

Fredrick spared a questioning look at Stella, who seemed to harbor the exact same thoughts as him. They both turned around and saw Sveta stepping away—annoyed—from another (likely similarly inebriated) batpony stallion who was trying to dance rather intimately with her.

From his point of view, the offending stallion—orange-maned and a coat color grayer than Stella’s—had finally gotten the message. He stopped trying to intrude on Sveta’s personal space and had backed off, hands slightly in the air.

“Alright, alright… easy there, sheila, that’s all ya had to say,” he said, clearly from wherever this world’s version of Australia was.

“I didn’t fuckin’ think me movin’ away from you every goddamn time you tried was that complicated tae understand?”

Fredrick didn’t know the full context of the situation… but in contrast to him, Stella apparently didn’t need to. All she saw was her sister annoyed with someone who was trying (and failing) to hit on her, and not respecting her personal space. The latter part was kind of a big deal regardless, but even so, he knew his mare well—Stella cared little in the way of fact finding when it came to those close to her.

That’s all she needed to see. And Fredrick knew exactly what was coming… especially when he glanced at Stella and saw her features darken immediately.

Oh fuck…

She pointed right at the offending batpony and then pointed in some random direction. From Fred’s point of view, the poor sod looked like a small animal in a searchlight. Even more so when she began stomping towards him.

“You. Fuck right off, right now… or I’ll actually gouge yer fuckin’ eyes out, cut yer nuts out, and put yer fuckin’ balls in yer eye holes and yer eyes in yer fuckin’ bawbag… you fuckin’ dribble of stagnant yak piss!” she threatened.

That stopped a lot of ponies from dancing, and shifted the audience attention elsewhere. It even got Midnight’s and Schnee’s attention.

Another batpony mare—crimson coat, navy-blue mane, golden eyes—slid in from the crowd and made quickly to intervene by placing herself between the two. The moment she opened her mouth, Fredrick could discern that the identical accents meant she and the nameless, previously-offending stallion knew each other. Alcohol also seemed to be an edge on everypony’s words, which explained a lot to him.

“Whoa whoa… what the hell’s going on here, mate?”

Stella answered on behalf of everypony else and made exactly zero attempt to hide her contempt:

“Not much, lass—just lettin’ yer arse-rammer here know that if he even looks at me sister again, I’m gonna demonstrate how his kneecaps are a privilege and not a right. Would you kindly spread the message tae all of Thestralia?”

To say that the newcomers looked personally attacked would be an understatement—probably because they were being personally attacked. Stella tended to have that ability nailed down to a T.

“Okay, okay… we fuckin’ get it. I’d stop spoutin’ off if you know what’s good for you,” the nameless batpony mare threatened, and through the ever present darkness, her eyes seemed to flare right at Stella.

Again, Fredrick knew his mare well. He knew that she was more than capable of handling herself in any potential fight… especially against normal civvies, who likely didn’t even know that she was a soldier (among other soldiers in her group). Even so, he never really found appealing the idea of Stella actually—potentially—getting seriously hurt.

Especially after she became his marefriend. But more than that even, this was her birthday night. Why throw it all away for a pointless kerfuffle?

So even through the drunken veil, he decided to voice his concern:

“Alright babe, I think you made your point crystal clear. Let’s get some more drinks, okay?” he ventured to offer, placing his hand around her waist to attempt to lure her (and Sveta) away from conflict.

To Stella’s credit, she physically seemed receptive to that, and willing to back off with her sister in tow so they could resupply.

However, Fredrick wasn’t exactly caught on guard with the newcomer thestral mare’s off-handed comment:

“Damn mate, you’re with her? Poor bastard—I actually feel bad for you.”

Fredrick couldn’t remember the last time that his amygdala was tickled in such a way where it made him irrationally angry.

Oh FUCK no.

Running on alcohol, adrenaline, and reflex, Fredrick uncharacteristically took a page out of Stella’s playbook and pointed straight at the snide mare:

“Hey! You shut your goddamn, whore mouth... you dumb fucking cunt!” he yelled.

He didn’t even notice Stella, nor Sveta’s faces jerk towards him in complete astonishment after he uttered those words… so much so that they briefly forgot the situation at hand.

The crimson batpony of Fredrick’s contempt appeared to not expect that reaction out of him:

“Excuse me?” she dared ask.

Yet another batpony stallion—incredibly blue to the coat—made himself known from the ambient darkness. His mauve-colored eyes locked death onto Fredrick.

“Oi mate, what the fuck did you just say, you little shitbucket?” the slightly taller, but somewhat more built newcomer threatened with a rhetorical question.

Not that Fredrick cared, and he was happy to return the look… and the words.

“Maybe your thot’s hard of hearing and needs to clean the cum out of her ears, so I’ll tell you instead!” he began anew, assuming the quick defense was because these two were together.

He also didn’t even realize that he took on a Stella insult out of pure reflex.

“Shut your goddamn, whore mouth… you dumb fucking cunt. You wanna fuckin’ do something about it?”

Three things happened simultaneously that Fredrick became aware of. Firstly, he noticed Highground out of the corner of his eye immediately setting course for them. Secondly, the group of three Thestralians looked collectively taken aback by Fredrick’s outburst. And thirdly, and he wasn’t sure about this… but he could’ve sworn that he heard Stella moan almost sexually once the words left his mouth.

The really blue batpony regained his bearings, and cracked the knuckles on his right hand. Fredrick knew a determined look when he saw one… one itching for a fight.

And at that moment, he didn’t particularly care if they were. From that off-handed comment about Stella, and despite his lack of experience in—and natural fear of—getting into many fist-fights, he was completely ready to accept a potential ass-kicking for Stella.

The blue batpony advanced on him while quite plainly threatening him:

“I’m gonna knock out every fuckin’ one of yer teeth, you snivelling little cunt,”.

Fredrick balled his fists in preparation for anything… but Stella instead pushed him behind her and stared down the newcomer, who stopped dead in his tracks.

She gestured very animatedly with her hands:

“Mate… it makes me sad the Anglomanes didn’t crush yer little rebellion all those years ago. Because maybe… just maybe if they squashed you lot of inbred chicken fuckers under their boots, they’d’ve taught you some fuckin’ manners, you cunts!”

Highground entered the scene with both her hands out and extended, then carefully interjected:

“Okaaaaaay okay, that’s enough out of both of you. Lock it goddamn down. Stella, Fred, Sveta, let’s get back to the bar…” she offered a way out.

Unfortunately, Stella’s words seemed to had already pressed the right sequence of buttons. The Thestralian mare and the original offending stallion quickly joined their friend… who was inches from Stella’s face.

“Oh yeah?” the nameless, crimson mare began anew. “How ‘bout we show you just how we won?”

A new voice entered the pseudo arena over Fredrick and Stella’s shoulder… one that belonged to a much more imposing creature.

“Hehe… you three Thestralians are so cute when you try to sound threatening,” she said, giggling evilly.

Fredrick glanced over his shoulder and found a stoic, furrowed Midnight glaring down their opposition.

And she added invitingly, yet gleefully threatened:

“Go ahead! Swing! First one gets a grand prize of getting put through one of those big tables over there…”

She pointed towards the seating area.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time!” the larger of the Thestralian stallions replied… which seemed a bit odd, even to Fredrick’s drunk mind.

Highground again pleaded for reason.

“Guys! Please… you drunk assholes, don’t rise to this shit. Come on!”

Stella turned to Fredrick as she continued pushing him back, and also gestured open-palmed to Sveta.

“Fred… take Sveta and stay back. I don’t want you two getting hurt.”

Fredrick almost felt offended at that.

“Fucking… what?! Fuck that shit, not after what that snide bitch said!” he protested.

“PLEASE!” Stella implored, then gestured backward. “Keep me sister safe. Go.”

“And?? You’re friggin’ outnumbered now if they start shit!” he again attempted to reason with her. Plus, he could see other batponies that looked itching to get in on this—likely friends of the current three in front of them.

A Germanic voice cut in:

“No. They’re not.”

A smol Schneeblume took Fredrick’s place and stepped up to the plate. Despite her being the shortest one of everypony (potentially) involved, she took no issue in glaring daggers at the Thestralian mare.

And the dark tone of her words betrayed the Alemaneian mare’s unassuming presence.

“I’d advise you get a leash on both of your lap-hounds right now,” she said.

“Yeah? Or what, little mare? You gonna do something about it?”

Schneeblume took a fearless step forward, and barely left a single inch between her and the offending mare… even if she had to look up at her.

“Ja… or I’ll take that leash and wring your scrawny fucking necks with it, Fotze.”

Highround tried a third time to weasel in words without provoking anyone. Fredrick figured that she didn’t physically try to restrain anyone, lest the other party attempt to strike first:

“Girls! Please! Dont’!”

But that was all she was able to get out in time. The nameless mare shoved Schnee backwards.

“Then fuckin’ do something, cunt!”

Fredrick watched as Schnee wordlessly responded by stepping back forward… and then slamming her balled up, ceramic fist into this poor mare’s face. He heard the impact—two, actually:

The impact to her face… and then the impact of her being unceremoniously flattened onto her back with the sheer power of Schnee’s punch.

“JESUS CHRIST!” erupted from his mouth from just the shock value of what he just witnessed.

He straight up watched a cute, petite mare in a summer dress obliterate someone’s nose into the shadow realm. What was reality anymore?

Chaos ensued.

Remembering what Stella entrusted him with, he grabbed Sveta’s hand and wrapped his other arm protectively around her shoulders. Even the crowd had the right idea, and uneasily began giving the now-belligerents some space.

“Fucking hell… Sveta, let’s get back!”

“Aye… righteo!”

And while he brought Stella’s sister and good friend of his back from the splash zone, he took every liberty to see how this would all play out.

After Schnee had gracefully incapacitated the offending mare, the left-most stallion (the super-blue one) swooped in to try and land a hit on her… and it looked like he was about to, even though she was ready and waiting to defend herself. Nevertheless, Fredrick winced in anticipation.

Midnight, however, clotheslined him by the neck just in time with her entire arm, stopping him in his tracks. What made Fred wince a second time was when this unit of a mare drove her right fist into his stomach once…

...twice…

...thrice…

...four goddamn times.

All the while, Fredrick caught sight of Stella having set her sights on the offending stallion who started this with her sister. She straight up planted her hoof in his dick with deadly results… evident by the sudden, comically wide-eyed face as he was about to double over.

Didn’t even try to kick him in the balls—literally just kicked the dude straight in the tubesteak.

Fredrick’s eyes flicked back to Midnight at that moment, and he saw her get behind her unfortunate target and restrain him by his arms. His entire front was now completely exposed… and the human again questioned reality as Schneeblume took this opening to drive an elbow into the sod’s already-destroyed abdomen, ejecting dribble and spittle from his mouth as a result.

Only then did Midnight make good on her previous threat by dragging him away to his fate, hoisting him up like a giant pillow, and then launching him onto a designated table… which snapped under the force.

He then witnessed Stella perform some Lunar Guard special forces wizardry by flipping her victim over her shoulder and hard onto his back… and then promptly stomped his nuts again.

Fred also found Highround looking to be at her wits end, and her eyes darted back and forth as she seemed to desperately look for an opening. Though, interestingly, her concern seemed to be placed on the fates of the mere mortals who dare challenged their squad. That’s when Fredrick had a revelation:

Highground wasn’t trying to stop a fight in the hopes of avoiding injury to her friends. She was trying to stop a one-way massacre by three actual soldiers.

“Oh my fucking god!” he exclaimed at the slaughter.

“Yeah! Fuckin’ show those cunts!” Sveta cheered from the sidelines.

Three more batponies entered the bout. Fredrick could immediately tell they weren’t friendly!

“Guys!” he called out, but his gals had already seen them.

Schneeblume was the first to greet them, and though he couldn’t hear any dialogue over the commotion, he could hear her gesticulations: her double ‘come hither’ motions with both of her hands was palatable.

They took the bait, and—after expertly dodging a roundhouse kick—she delivered the most perfect uppercut he had ever seen, video or otherwise, that sent the dude’s chin into the stratosphere. Damn-near kickstarted the Equestrian space program.

Fredrick reached out in reflex, mouth open to scream a warning as the other two newcomers descended upon Schnee’s turned-back.

There was no need—Stella and Midnight arrived to the rescue simultaneously.

Stella came up behind the shorter one and engaged him in a sleeper hold whilst dragged him to the ground. Midnight brought an actual chair with her from the table she destroyed. She then promptly destroyed said chair on the third lad’s upper back, flattening him onto his front.

These girls had laid out six ponies in the span of about forty seconds.

Absolute mad lasses.

Things took an immediate turn from the hilariously awe-inspiring, to the actual worst.

The crimson Thestralian mare who Schnee had flattened with a haymaker was back on her shaky hooves, blood streaming down the lower half of her face. With a teeth-baring glare that could kill, she upped the ante when she found an empty beer bottle, broke the end off, and pointed it directly at Schneeblume.

That’s when Fredrick actually felt his breath hitch in his throat, and his stomach drop.

Schnee, to her credit, looked completely unconcerned… though her own death-glare intensified. If Fredrick didn’t know any better, the tiny mare would actually kill this pony.

Highground—having found her opening—intervened out of nowhere, and completely knocked the revived mare to the ground with a powerful stomping kick to her shoulder. The broken bottle was still in her hand.

“Alright that’s ENOUGH!” Highground shouted with such intensity and furor that the melee train was stopped in its tracks.

She pointed three fingers at Stella, Midnight, and Schneeblume.

“You three idiots. Let’s go. We’re leaving,” she decreed.

And then she pointed at the recovering batpony mare with the broken bottle in her hand. The dancing had all but stopped by this point, as well as the music.

“And you. Drop it. Now.”

The nameless mare showed no signs of doing so. With blood still dribbling out of her mangled nose and mouth, she aimed the jagged bottle bottom at Highground.

“Yeah? How ‘bout I carve yer fuckin’ face up before I gut that bitch in the dress over there?” she threatened.

Schnee had to be physically restrained by Midnight.

Fredrick watched in disbelief as Highground just ignored her and—like the absolute chad that she was—turned back towards the group.

“Fred,” she addressed him. “Get us squared away with the bill and let’s get the fuck outta here.”

“Yes Ma’am,” he replied, and he moved to head back towards the bar.

“OI, CUNT!” he then heard over his shoulder... he just had to look back.

The same batpony mare was stomping toward Highround, broken bottle raised.

“I’m fuckin’ talking to ya!”

Highground rolled her eyes and with one smooth motion, reached into her jacket, retrieved her pistol, cocked the hammer, and leveled it right at her would-be assailant’s bloody head.

To say everyone gave her a wide breadth of room would be an understatement. Again, Fredrick had to collect his jaw from the floor… all while curiously wondering why nopony was running at the sight of a firearm. The rest of the girls were varying degrees of fazed by their ‘responsible adult’ for the night.

“You don’t fuckin’ listen, do ya?” Highground asked rhetorically. “Canterlot Police. Drop it, or I’ll blow your goddamn head off.”

The jagged bottle was dropped quite promptly.

Highground gazed back at Fredrick and gestured towards the bar with a tilt of her muzzle.

Fred didn’t need to be told again. He sailed towards the bar, and towards a waiting Vel, who seemed quite wide-eyed at the situation… though perhaps not as much as Fredrick would’ve figured.

“Well… this has been an interesting night…” she said.

He wasn’t even gonna ask questions.

“Yeah… I’ll say. What do I owe you?”

“Two twenty-six, thirty five.”

Fredrick counted the bills in his wallet… then happened to glance at the table and the chair… on top of the mess that was left as collateral damage from the one-minute scuffle.

He handed four-hundred bits to the lovely bartender.

“Keep the change. Thanks for your patience tonight, Vel,” he said.

“W-Wow! And eh, happens all the time. Thank you for the ehm… entertainment.”

He was drunk enough to laugh at that.

“Hah! Don’t mention it… and fuck, happens all the time? Shit I have some questions now.”

Vel batted her eyelashes at him.

“Well, how ‘bout you bring yourself and your mare back sometime and I’ll do a nice Q&A with you?” she asked.

Highground, imperious and with pistol still in her right hand, did well to herd all her cats out of the establishment.

“Let’s go, gals… and Fredrick!” she said, gesturing towards the door.

He was already in motion, and let his feet carry him away.

“See ya! Thanks again! And sorry… again!” he called back on his way out.

Stella and Sveta filed out first, then Midnight and Schneeblume. Fredrick gave HG a nice tap on the shoulder right before he stepped back out into the night air to rejoin his evening crew.

And that’s when Highground shut the door behind her. Fredrick watched her eyes shift around their immediate area whilst sheathing her pistol stealthily back into her jacket.

She then turned to everyone:

“Let’s start power-walking. Now.”

All obeyed—silence all the while.

With Fredrick and Highground having led the way, the group put some distance between themselves and Echo’s so they could re-establish their anonymity within the Canterlot nightlife. This was easily done after only just a few blocks. The only sound being the heavy breathing coming from everypony from the still-present drunken adrenaline boost that could fuel a nuclear reactor… and the ambient noise of the city life.

That’s when they stopped to catch their breaths… and Fredrick took quick stock of everypony around him for good measure. No one seemed to be injured in the slightest from the rumble, apart from the smallest scrapes or bruises (he inferred)… or just drunken shenanigans in general.

All were in one piece.

And that’s when everyone started sharing tentative looks with one another. While no words were exchanged over the last few seconds of standing around, the silent conversations were still plenty loud.

The ridiculousness of it all began to well up within Fredrick. With his still impaired mind, this was even further amplified. All these feelings of ‘what the fuck’ began to build in his core to the point where his stomach tickled…

...and then he emitted a high-pitched giggle.

It was a sentiment echoed by Stella, who gladly shared in the little giggle… and then Sveta.

And then Midnight.

And Schnee.

And even Highground.

All the sniggering eventually broke the communal dam. Feeding off of each other’s emotions, they all collectively lost the entirety of what remained their shit.

Fredrick could barely stand—he had to put his hands on his knees for support as he howled with unbridled, drunken laughter. His chest physically hurt. His lungs burned, and his eyes overflowed with tears down his cheeks. That urge to laugh refused to abate, and it was made even worse by the contagious cadre of cackling cunts that nearly fell upon him, all trying to support themselves lest they fall to the streets.

“What the FUCK just happened?!” Fredrick squeaked out.

Stella was in the exact same straits as him.

“I DON’T FUCKIN’ KNOW, MATE! THAT WAS AMAZING!”

“Schee… SCHNEE!” Sveta was able to huff out, barely. “You fuckin’ ANNIHILATED that cunt! PFFFT I’ve never seen… HAH!... Anythin’ more beautiful in me life!”

Midnight could barely talk.

“HAAHAHAHA! THE BEST… HAH… NIGHT. EVER PFFTT!” she was able to eke out before losing her valiant battle to her own laughter.

Schnee was just as worse for wear as everpony else:

“Mein GOTT! That’s the most… PFFT HAH!... Most fun in a fiGHT I’ve HAD!”

She promptly fell into another giggling fit, one in which Midnight was more than happy to share in. They fell into each other’s embrace.

Fredrick shakily stood back up while he clutched his aching chest, doing his damned best to force air into his dry lungs.

“Wheeeeew… fuck! Holy shit I think… heh… I think that’s the hardest I’ve laughed in my entire life…”

He glanced up at a recovering Highground.

“You… actually pulled heat on somepony!” he noted.

She attempted to be serious… but failed miserably at it. Just by her eyes though, Fredrick knew to interpret her next words with at least a modicum of attention.

“Just… had to make sure that Schnee over here didn’t legit kill someone in self defense. You’re all goddamn idiots, by the way.

“But apart from that. I kindly ask that you lot please keep what you saw... to yourself?”

The nod was instantaneous and simultaneous. Everypony took a moment to address her seriously, without a fraction of hilarity on their features (as best as they could while all calmed down).

Stella answered on behalf of everypony:

“Oh yer no fuckin’ fun… but fiiiine. Secret’s safe with us, mate. But now…”

She turned to Fredrick.

“Can we go tae The Library now?”

Fredrick beamed.

“I’m totally good with that…” he said, before turning to the rest of their group. “As long as y’all haven’t had enough excitement for one night?”

Again, the response was instantaneous, simultaneous… and unanimous:

“Fuck that, mate. Let’s head on over! I’m thirstier than a fuckin’ mare in heat in the desert,” Sveta said.

“I’m always up for more adventure…~” Midnight added.

“Yeahhhh sure. Gotta get some hydration into you tards anyways,” Highground noted.

Schnee voiced with the cutest squee that nearly made Fred go into a seizure.

“Ja! Water, definitely! And karaoke!”

Fredrick pointed straight down the sidewalk.

“Then, this way, my good mares! Let’s go!”

And as the group of them fell into a natural step and began their comfortable trek towards The Library, Stella decided to ask Fredrick something very important:

“Hey love? What’s a ‘thot?’”

26. Bar Crawl | Part 3 | Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

27. Forward-thinking

[Six Months Later…]

It never ceased to amaze Fredrick how both Celestia and Luna dropped all pretense of manners and ‘royal’ façade when they weren’t in the public eye.

Hell, even though Fredrick had known them for over two years by this point, he still had a hard time divesting the royal image from the pony. Granted, they were still demi-goddesses… but he was always reminded that they were still ponies. This was usually reinforced by how they dressed out of the public eye, much like tonight.

It was a quiet dinner with his two closest friends—the Royal Sisters—this evening, and he felt overdressed, which was unheard of for him in a daily setting. While, in his opinion, a Friday evening called for short sleeves and some jeans, the immortal Princesses of this great nation felt otherwise.

All tucked away in Luna’s room, both alicorns had nearly undressed fully before him after a hard week’s work. Both of them had stripped down to their panties, threw on a thick, baggy long-sleeve, and discarded bras before dinner was served on the bed.

Immortal or not, he guessed mares were still mares, after all.

Hell, he had seen them both naked by this point and this still found a way to amuse him.

Celestia stuffed her mouth with a wad of greens, and then found it appropriate to gesture towards Fredrick and speak while chewing:

“So… mmm… Not that we aren’t glad to spend time with you, but you’re usually with Stella on Friday night. Everything okay?” she inquired.

Fredrick chuckled internally at Celestia’s complete flouting of ‘table’ manners. But he didn’t have time to put forth an answer before Luna cut in:

“She’s away on leave starting today,” she answered, and tilted her fork toward her sister as she continued:

“Her family wished to celebrate her promotion to Captain of the Lunar Guard, so she ventured back to the Northern Rage.”

Celestia cocked a curious eyebrow at Fredrick, which he returned back at her full force.

“Oh? And she didn’t want to take you? I find that almost too hard to believe,” she said.

Fredrick smirked and shook his head all the while.

“Oh no, she definitely wanted me to come with her. Hell, she was bringing out the threats, but I urged her to spend some alone time with her family.”

Having had his fill of their dinner for the evening, he set the plates carefully to the side and leaned back onto his forearms to get extra comfortable.

“Occasionally have to remind her that I don’t need to be apart of everything in her life, and that she’s free to do whatever the shit she wants without me always being there. Besides, it’ll do her good to get away from me for a smidge, methinks.”

Luna—to his left—laughed heartily before throwing some usual sarcasm his way.

“Well… aren’t you such the perfect gentlecolt and expert in well-oiled relations,” she said. Celestia giggled.

Fredrick smirked, and drew his open hand from one princess to the other.

“Well, I do have two amazing friends who keep me grounded and call me out on my bullshit when I need it most,” he reminded.

Celestia winked and leveled an index finger at him.

“Right you are, Freddie. But I truly am happy everything is going so well for the two of you after all this time!”

“Heh, you’re telling me!” Fred replied. “And the best part is: I don’t feel like anything’s gone stale or ‘routine-y,’ if that makes sense?”

Luna nodded once, a wide, prideful smirk on her face.

“I understand completely. And I, likewise, am most pleased to see one of my Guard’s finest with somepony who truly helps bring out the best in her,” she said.

Celestia had one more thing to add with a knowing wink:

“Only the most becoming behavior of our newest up and coming Junior Shadow Minister of Economic Development!”

Fredrick could already feel his cheeks coloring at the praise, and it seemed that he wasn’t the only one who noticed. Celestia started giggling in earnest when he tried to save some face.

“Jeez gals… getting me all red in the face with y’all’s praise. Thank you though… really. I’ve said it before but it’s always nice being reassured from a third party, heh,” he said, and ran a hand over the back of his head and neck.

“And for… well, the promotion of sorts. Not gonna lie, it’s kinda cool to get back into my field from back on Earth. Can’t thank you enough for the opportunity!”

“You deserve it!” Luna called out.

Celestia shrugged.

“It’s true, though! You do deserve every bit of it.

“And in regards to Stella, you two really are perfect for each other. As eccentric as the two of you are together, I feel you two are quite… pure.”

“PFFT!” Fredrick nearly lost it. “Stella’s the last mare from pure, I’ll tell you that right now,” he chuckled.

“Oh shut the hell up, you know exactly what I meant,” Celestia joked right back.

“I sure do. Hell the way I see it… she still makes my heart flutter, my stomach light, and my dick hard. So I think everything’s pretty damn good…”

Fredrick was night-completely interrupted when both mares erupted in a cackling fit at his latter words.

“See?!” Luna cut in once she (barely) composed herself.

“That’s exactly something that Stella would say, tailored to her own pony, of course. You two have absorbed some of the best parts of each other’s personality… for better or worse.”

Fredrick chuckled exaggeratedly.

“‘For better or worse.’ Again, that seems to be the running theme of our unholy union. Wouldn’t change it for the friggin’ world, lemme tell ya,” he said.

Luna stuffed her face with some spinach and pointed her fork at him, mimicking her sister in a lack of ‘table’ manners.

“You better not, Fredrick!” she decreed. “Because the wedding needs to be even more glorious. I can’t wait! We can hold it here at the castle!”

Fredrick scraped the ceiling with how hard and high he rolled his eyes whilst looking at Luna again. His façade was broken when she giggled at the face he knew he was making.

“Yes… you two,” he said, and addressed both his friends who hadn’t stopped ribbing him since they got word of some ‘stuff’ that was said on the eve of Stella’s birthday.

“We’ve talked at length about this…”

Celestia cut in with a less-than-dignified chortle.

“PFFT. ‘Length.’”

“Wow… verily, sister?”

“You’re so mature, Celly.”

“No you.”

Fredrick ran both his hands down his face, much to the audible, throaty amusement of Celestia. Looks like Stella wasn’t the only one that was absorbing parts of his personality.

“Right… well as I was saying, Stella and I have talked about this a lot. While we joke about it to no end, it’s most likely gonna happen. Probably just not anytime soon.”

That’s when a question from his immediate right pecker-slapped him in the back of the head:

“Why not?” Luna asked.

Even more than that, she seemed completely serious. Fredrick felt the answer was pretty obvious, and he delivered it with a single shrug of his shoulder.

“Well… I don’t think we’re ready for that step, yet.”

Celestia broadsided him with another bout of infernal wisdom:

“Will you two ever be? I think it’s almost like becoming a parent… you can put it off until you’re ‘ready,’ but I don’t think any of us ever truly will be, no? And even then would you know when you are?”

Fredrick let those words marinate a bit in his mind, and get pan seared just a smidge in what he would consider some decent food for thought. The more brain power he committed though, the more he realized that these thousands of years-old demigoddesses were pretty spot on with that assessment.

Luna cut in with a rather haughty, jokingly protective tone:

“Heh, Stella’s really the only pony I’d let tie the knot with Fredrick. She’s the only mare I feel is good enough for him, in my objective opinion.”

Fredrick regarded her with an exaggeratedly tilted head and pure, amused sarcasm dripping from his mouth:

“Gee thanks, Lu. I’m so glad I have your blessing.”

She scoffed.

“Do not give me that tone, colt! Back in my day, we had to bless all betrothals. In fact…”

She brought a finger to her cheek, and flicked her eyes up questioningly.

“…I believe that law is still on the books! We just do not enforce it anymore and it was forgotten over time.”

Fredrick saw Celestia’s eyes light up in familiarity.

“That’s riiiiight!” she said, perhaps a little too giddily for Fredrick’s liking.

He blinked, then asked emotionlessly:

“So… you’re invoking a millennia’s-old law that requires you to… bless a hypothetical marriage between Stella and I?”

They both nodded once, and simultaneously.

“That is correct! Therefore, by all the power vested in myself and our glorious Moon, I bless your marriage!” Luna affirmed.

“Yup! And by my command over our everlasting Sun, consider your marriage blessed, Freddie,” Celestia added.

Fredrick shrugged.

“Umm… okay then? Not sure what that changes but… thank you?”

Luna cheekily pointed at him, as if balancing a caveat at the tip of her finger.

“You’re lucky we don’t enforce the statute of taking the betrothed’s maidenhead,” she said.

Fredrick nearly lost it at that.

“PFFFT! Fucking… WHAT?!” he exclaimed. “What, you’re saying you’d fuck Stella on the wedding night instead of me?”

“Who said anything about Stella?” Celestia asked suddenly.

Luna threw her entire body back and into her bed, laughing shrilly. As for Fredrick, he pursed his lips and nodded, having been had.

“Not bad, Celly. Not bad… but don’t threaten me with a good time, girl…”

Celestia chortled into her hand, and Luna took her place rather pointedly:

“And who said she would be enforcing the statute?” she asked.

Fredrick was having as much trouble keeping a straight face as she was.

“Honestly, if you made serious moves on me, Stella would probably, actually kill me if I refused you…

…but maybe in another universe…?”

Celestia careened back in with what clearly seemed like a fantastic idea while Luna giggled her heart out:

“OH! Who wants dessert?! Let’s get dessert! I want cake!”

He smiled widely at the thought, among other things. A good-natured ribbing from your closest friends was par for the course and still made him feel like he mattered. More than that, the warmness that coddled his chest like a freshly-washed velvet blanket of good feelings further proved to him that he had carved a place in this world.

He could only hope Stella was having as much fun as he was, with her family right now.

[Meanwhile in the Sabre Household, Thestralshire…]

“Oi cunts!” Stella announced as she gently let herself into the front door of her childhood home.

“I’m home!”

Sveta’s head popped out from the kitchen doorway—a bright, fangy smile was plastered on her face.

“Oi Stel’! Right on fuckin’ time, lass!” she replied, and stepped out fully into the living room.

She pointed out towards the ‘outside’ in general.

“I don’t have tae fuckin’ drink alone now. Wanna head out fer a few rounds an’ help waterboard me fuckin’ stresses away now that finals are done? I’m buyin’!”

Having known her sister quite literally her entire life, Stella knew for a fact that the underlying tone of Sveta’s request was nonnegotiable. And she knew herself well enough where she’d never say no to free alcohol… but she couldn’t go anywhere without the ritualistic shitting on her sister.

Stella cocked her hip to the right and crossed her arms under her chest. She raised an eyebrow.

“Yer buyin’? With what fuckin’ money, mate?”

Sveta’s bright and shining face instantly furrowed.

“Fuckin’… bitch I have cash! Did ya forget I’m a talented musician? Piss off, slag— Don’t look a fuckin’ gift whore in the minge.”

Stella was not exactly impressed.

“‘Talented musician’… filly, that’s fuckin’ debatable. And you and I both know sixty percent of yer audience is only there tae watch yer tits bounce on stage when ye—as you say—get lost in the rhythm.”

Sveta held her palms out towards her.

“Okay look I’d put that at most forty percent, at least give me voice and the girls some fuckin’ credit!”

Stella gestured directly towards Sveta’s boobs, smirking devilishly.

“I am givin’ yer girls a fuckload of credit, what the hell did ya think I was saying? Give ‘em a push-up bra and I’ll give ‘em more credit!”

“UGH. I meant the fuckin’ band, ya goddamn weapon.”

Stella got the topic back on track, though. Whetting her whistle seemed like a fine way to break in her leave:

“But aye, sounds good, lass! By the way, where’re mum and dad?”

“I’m here.”

Stella shrieked, having felt her entire body fall into fight-or-flight response at just realizing that Vampir was in the room with them. He was sitting on the couch casually reading a local newspaper with a bottle of beer on the coffee table.

“Fer FUCK’S sake, dad... I still don’t fuckin’ know how ye can sneak up on me like that!”

Vampir lowed his newspaper, and it seemed to be his turn to look unimpressed.

“I was in Special Forces, Stella. I could be lurkin’ around you all the time while you’re back at the castle... or gettin’ railed by Fredrick. None of ye would know.”

Stella felt her entire body cringe at the thought while Sveta gladly laughed at her expense. What made it worse for her was that—even though Vampir was being completely hyperbolic—it was entirely plausible, with his skill in his trade.

“Thanks fer searin’ the image into my head, dad. Fuck’s sake...”

Vampir chuckled, then looked up at her.

“Where is he, anyway? Figured you’d’ve tried tae smuggle him over here.”

The slightest pang of longing echoed in her core, but left as quickly as it came when she brought forth the explanation… and still managed a fair amount of pride:

“Oh believe me, I tried. But he also just got promoted, so he’s in the middle of some training and stuff that he can’t miss,” she said, smiling.

“That… and he said that I’m ‘totally okay to have a life outside of him,’… like he’s tryin’ tae be a good coltfriend or something.”

Sveta seemed to ‘wholeheartedly agree.’

“Oh aye, how fuckin’ dare he… letting you live yer fuckin’ life or some shit?”

Stella smiled… but she cocked a curious eyebrow when she realized that somepony hadn’t come out to greet her by this point. Nor bludgeoned her on the back of the head for not doing something she asked:

“Oi… is mum home?”

Not looking up from his newspaper, Vampir responded:

“Nope. She’s…”

Stella noticed the extra half-second pause from him… one that didn’t exactly sit well with her intuition.

“…away on business fer tonight an’ tomorrow. She’ll be back tomorrow night.”

She flicked her eyes up to Sveta, and—through a sisterly communication network they had set up since toddlers—her less-than-knowing expression didn’t reveal much. She seemed in just as much of the dark.

In the end though, it could’ve been one-hundred-percent the truth. Vona still worked as a weapons’ designer and forger. Contracts requiring travel were fairly common. Hell, that’s how she met Vampir, after all.

Still, it didn’t shake the slightest twinge in the back of her head that somepony was punking her… somehow. Whatever the case, it wasn’t like she could really do anything at this point, apart from enjoy the next week with her family.

Stella shrugged.

“Fair ‘nuff,” she said, then gestured out the door while glancing over at Sveta.

“Ready tae go, lass?”

Sveta beamed right back at her.

“Aye! We ride!”

“Ya want anythin’, dad?”

“I’m good with me beer, thanks! You have fun, loves!”

[Back in Fredrick’s Room | Later that Night…]

“That…” Fredrick spoke to himself as he swung open the door into his room “…was just what the doctor ordered.”

Mentally and physically fatigued after a long week of rewarding work, on top of being pleasantly full from a fantastically-cooked meal was a perfect recipe to just crash. Hell, he didn’t even feel like taking off all his clothes once he shut the door behind him.

And it was one of the few times he listened one-hundred percent to his body. He undid his belt and tossed it haphazardly to the side before bounding—sprawled—onto his giant bed. Face-down in one of his pillows, he let out all the breath he had been holding since the beginning of the week in one long, controlled sigh of relief.

He made it through the first week of his new esteem… with only a little wear to show for it.

Fredrick was proud of himself—one of the few times he could ever say that with full confidence. And he figured he could ruminate on everything that had happened this past week in the morning… for it was time to join Luna’s dreamscape once more.

He let his eyes fall shut, and his body just exist while being embraced by his mattress. The cool night air wafted in from the outside, and served to chill his already excitably warm body. There would not be a need for covers tonight… that he was sure of.

Right on the cusp of letting sleep overtake him completely, Fredrick stirred lightly—he could have sworn he heard something at the front door. It was like, the faintest scratching at the wood, reminiscent of a pet wanting to come back into the abode.

Fred tiredly devoted some brain power to listening out—just to be sure. He didn’t move from his spot all the while… and whatever he supposedly heard at his front door was just as fleeting as it was in his mind. Perhaps his pre-sleep mind was starting his dreams a little too early. He had to question reality once or twice when he was on the cusp of passing out.

He shrugged and put the rest of the world out of his mind, and a smile creased over his face when an image of Stella’s smile passed on by.

The scratching was back.

Fredrick opened his eyes, instinctively raising his right eyebrow towards the door. He knew for a fact he didn’t imagine this instance… and the more he listened to it as it repeated itself, the more it sounded like someone—or something—trying to fumble with the locked doorknob.

“What the fuck…?” he groaned.

He sat himself upright and eyed his door, annoyed. A rush of different ideas as to who he would find upon opening up said door entered into his mind. A robber was out of the question, as they’d probably be dead the moment the batpony Lunar Guard caught any wind of something wrong in Fredrick’s general direction. Luna and Celestia—while known for their jokes—would usually violate his privacy anyway, or actually knock like a normal pony.

And Stella—the likeliest of culprits to screw with him—was away on leave. He walked her to the damn train station, himself.

The desire to know more intensifies.

Groaning once again, Fred hoisted himself of his bed and onto the ground. He stretched his arms over his head unceremoniously, then trudged over to his bedroom door.

Being as tired as he was meant there was a special condition regarding his normal ‘bucket of fucks to give.’ Having been ripped from the glorious flux that existed between the aching world and the twilight, he was scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of quality fucks to produce.

So, he just pulled back the right side of the double door and found…

…no one.

Fredrick—stoic—blinked once. Then blinked again as he stared at where the culprit would’ve been in front of his door… but finding nopony but the wind and echoes.

He even poked his head out and gazed down both sides of the corridor. Nothing of interest could be seen but the darkness, the two guards that stood as idle as death himself on either end, and the occasional footfall of other patrolling guards. And seeing those two Lunar Soldiers there told Fredrick that, had anypony been at his door that shouldn’t have been there—or wasn’t expected, there would be a lot more commotion going on right now.

Did he just imagine everything?

Fredrick hummed, unamused. He narrowed his eyes and slinked back into his room, quietly shutting and locking the door behind him.

His door secured, Fredrick took a deep breath and exhaled tiredly. His right hand flat against the entrance, he pressed his forehead against the cool wood.

“Jesus, man… don’t go losing your mind so soon.”

“Fuck me, ye talk to yerself, too?”

Fredrick’s eyes shot open so fast, he could’ve sworn he heard glass breaking. His heart-rate shot up like a meth addict. He spun around and spied a smol… yet simultaneously, massively imposing, batpony mare with the backdrop of the night via his open balcony window.

While—quite obviously—surprised, his nerves calmed just the tiniest smidge when he saw who it was.

“Fucking… Schiavona?! What the hell are you doing here?!”

The Sabre matriarch—clad in seemingly standard, black, form-fitting long-sleeve and pants—clearly wasn’t all that impressed by Fredrick’s welcome.

Because why would she be in the slightest?

“Okay, firstly… how dare ye use me full name. Secondly, how dare ye not invite me in…”

She stepped forward, and she sported that cheeky, fangy smile that Stella always did.

“…and thirdly, why the fuck haven’t ye married my fuckin’ daughter yet, Fredrick?”

Fredrick felt the emotion draining out of his face as he stared blankly at Vona.

“Is… is this what this is all about? Really?”

Vona stared back at him—seemingly unfazed in the slightest—with an identically stoic gaze.

“Yes.”

“Y…You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“I just said ‘yes,’ mate! Do ya need tae clean the fuckin’ cum outta yer ears, lad?”

Fredrick was at a loss for words… and apparently—having needed to take away brain power from his awareness to process everything—he let the silence linger a little too long.

“Well are ya gonna invite me in, Fredrick?” Vona asked oh-so politely.

Fredrick gestured open-handedly to her.

“I mean… you’re kinda already here. Fuckin’…”

Fredrick ran both his hands down his face. All he wanted to do was sleep, tonight. He would’ve been much more comfortable burying his head in Stella’s lap or between her boobs to fall asleep, rather than his pillow… but the circumstances decreed that this wasn’t in the cards tonight.

He’d have to relish in the next best thing—literally her mom.

Not like THAT, you pervert.

He sighed and looked back at her.

“Want a drink?”

And that’s how he found himself, having poured two glasses of wine out while sitting on the bed next to the literal older version of Stella. Because of course he would be.

Well, at the very least… wine.

Right?

After taking a couple sips of the red wine he poured, an uneasy silence wafted over him as he watched Schiavona take her own first, tentative sips…

…and then continue to sip…

…and continue to sip…

She downed three-fourths of the glass on the first ‘sip.’ Fredrick wasn’t sure why he was surprised at this accomplishment.

“Ahhh…” Vona sighed out blissfully.

He watched her gingerly swirl what was left in the glass, observing intently the little vortex she created.

“This was pretty good! Never been much of a wine pony… more of a scotch mare, m’self,” she said, smiling.

There was still something that Fredrick was just dying to get closure on, even if it didn’t really fit with the non-existent conversation:

“How did you even get up here in one piece?”

Vona deadpanned.

“Ummm… I fuckin’ flew? The hell do ya think these’re for, mate?” she said, extending her right wing out.

“Shagging? Well… they are but you know what I fuckin’ mean, lad.”

Fredrick rolled his eyes.

“Fucking… duh you used your wings! But how’d you get past the guard hoof and flight patrols?”

Vona smiled evilly.

“Vampir’s taught me a few things over the years…” she alluded cryptically.

Fredrick wordlessly blinked. Did he want to know? Nope. Not in the slightest. So, as he was interested in since the start of this incident, he wanted to to get down to brass tacks of it all.

“Right. So… Vona…” he began anew.

Legs elegantly folded together, the batpony mare threw a hand back through her own ponytail for a quick adjustment, faced Fredrick on his bed, and placed both her hands on her lap while looking up at him eagerly. The amount of sudden ‘propriety’ coming out of the Sabre matriarch was almost infuriating as it was… oddly pretty.

“Aye?” she asked, flashing her pearly whites.

“Why the hell are you here—trying to talk to me about getting hitched to your daughter—instead of enjoying the week with Stella, who is probably up there right now wondering where you are?”

Schiavona put her fingertips together in a most analytical look.

“This was—obviously—by design. You could say I’m here tae… ‘plead the case,’ in a sense.”

“Wait… you want to try and ‘convince’ me to marry Stella. Am I getting that right?”

She nodded once.

“Good lookin’ and smart! Goddamn, how many advantages can Stella fuckin’ have fer a colt?”

“I’m serious, though…” Fredrick pulled the conversation back on track. He swirled the wine idly in his glass before continuing.

“Why would I need convincing to go further with her? I’d like to think it’s pretty obvious where we stand.”

Schiavona was as serious as ever despite the surrounding context and word choice:

“Oh it’s bloody obvious. You two are just takin’ yer sweet, goddamn time… like old ponies fuckin’ after a ten-year cool-streak.”

Fredrick swirled his glass and took another sip.

“I fail to see how this matters, really,” he said. “How would getting hitched change anything in the grand scheme of things?”

Vona shrugged.

“Prolly not much tae fuck-all, mate. I’m well aware ya don’t necessarily need some fuckin’ government paper tae put in writin’ what ye have.”

“Then what do you get out of this? Seems like a bit of a long trip to just tell me something I already know…”

Schiavona smiled evilly as she held up two fingers… in the exact same way Stella would.

“Two reasons. One… both of you wanna tie it so fuckin’ obviously that I’m gettin’ fuckin’ arthritis from clenchin’ me queef chapel in frustration wonderin’ why you two don’t do a goddamn thing about it…

“…and two, I wan’t fuckin’ grandchildren,” she said, then shrugged.

“Ahhh… so that’s the real reason, huh?” Fredrick replied, but then threw forth a rather pertinent piece of information:

“But you are aware that Stella doesn’t like kids, right?”

Schiavona took another sip… but then annihilated the rest of the wine by dropping it down her gullet with all the elegance Fred would expect from Stella.

“She’s fulla shite, lad,” she said with a conviction and nonchalance that impressed him.

“And you’re so sure of this?”

“I would know—I felt the exact same way as her. When Vampir and I had a serious chat about this, we both agreed that we’d live our lives dedicated to each other—our careers, second.”

Fredrick finished off his wine and turned towards her more. Despite everything that happened earlier, he had to admit this conversation and its surrounding context was getting interesting.

“Really? What the hell happened, then?”

Schiavona looked—dare Fredrick say—nostalgia-stricken.

“After we got married—and even a couple years before, actually—things were fuckin’ fantastic.

“Worked the day, spent the evenings and nights together… when he didn’t get deployed, of course. Spent the weekends together. Ate, drank, fucked constantly. Just wonderful.”

She showed few qualms in leaning back into Fredrick’s bed and making herself more than comfortable.

“Then, one day… I dunno. We had another talk and decided that we were stable enough that we wanted tae start tryin’. We couldn’t tell ye exactly what it was, but somethin’ inside of us said that—despite what we thought before—it was… right.”

Schiavona lay back fully onto Fredrick’s bed and let loose some genuine laughter, which was just as contagious as her daughter’s.

Fredrick also got more comfortable and supported his head with the help of his elbow and hand as she continued:

“Welp, turns out that without fuckin’ protection, Vampir had no fuckin’ virility problems in the slightest. I conceived the fuckin’ night my next heat came around—he goddamn fired out a nine month-old Stella.”

Fredrick couldn’t hold his cackling in on that one.

“Niceee… and so Stella was born.”

“That she was,” Vona said, nodding. “She was a right fucker growin’ up, too. She still is, but she was, too. Remember lad—there’s nothin’ illegal about callin’ yer kid a cunt. I encourage it, actually! Builds character.

“But, if I could go back? I’d’nt change anythin’, mate,” she said, looking over at him.

“Vampir may be me greatest prize… but Stella and Sveta will always be my greatest accomplishments.

“Take all that fer what you will… I guess…”

Fredrick breathed—amused—through his nose, and nodded back at her.

Her little tale did make sense to him. Maybe him not liking kids stemmed from seeing how children affected his parents’ relationship. Also, perhaps it stemmed from him personally feeling that he’d be a terrible father for a variety of reasons… that until he resolved those ‘reasons,’ like with the marriage prospect, he’d never be ready.

But, much like the marriage prospect… would he ever be ready? Even so, he wouldn’t go seeking specialized magic from the royal sisters to knock up Stella tomorrow, that’s for sure. But he could say that this was really helping him to talk through it.

In the midst of this, Fredrick did have one question:

“Hey Vona?”

“Hmmm?”

“What was the moment you realized you were gonna be with Vampir for the rest of your life?”

Fred saw that hard blink—she clearly didn’t expect such a simple, but profound question from him right off the bat. But, it didn’t seem to faze her in any bad way, especially when she gazed back up at the ceiling, closed her eyes, and took an almost lovingly deep breath.

“We were dating fer… three years by this point. He was still active in the Special Forces, and he had been spending the past week with me on leave.

“It was pretty common—we’d see each other usually when he’d get leave, and then we’d be apart for a little bit when he had tae return tae Canterlot. Or, one of me contracts would take me to Canterlot, and we’d meet up there fer a while—it’s how we met, after all.

“This time though… I don’t know what came over me. The night before I was gonna walk him to the train station. I just… I completely broke down.”

She giggled, as if she was chastising her younger self.

“I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay with me. Forever. I sobbed like a fuckin’ little girl… like I was gonna lose a fuckin’ limb or a part of me if he left.

“Sorry if I’m bein’ graphic, mate… but that night we had the best sex we had ever had up to that point. And how he just looked at me before and during sealed it fer me. I knew I was gonna marry him.”

Vona glanced over at Fredrick again.

“It’s a look I know well, to this day… because he still looks at me like that. Interestingly, it’s also the look I see in your eyes whenever I catch ye looking at Stella. Same when she looks at you.”

Fredrick saw her reach out to him and place her hand pridefully atop of his. She patted him a couple times.

“And that’s how I know she—and you—made the right choice. I saw it from the day I met you.”

The warmth in Fredrick’s core and chest returned full force at hearing that. His bashful side took over as he smiled.

“Heh… thanks, Vona.”

“Now…” she then followed up allusively right after, and earned Fredrick’s attention. “In regards tae you two sealin’ the deal and you joining the Sabre clan officially…”

Fredrick shuddered internally at that last part, not that he felt it was a bad thing in the slightest. He worried for his physical self as to what it would mean being officially ‘related’ to these mad lads.

“…you’re right. You and Stella should absolutely only make the jump when yer ready,” she declared.

…which was what Fredrick had been hoping to get across this entire time. If that was the case, what the hell was the whole point of his conversation… not that he didn’t enjoy quality time with Schiavona.

He cautiously tread forward with their chat.

“Right…” he said.

“But me part on ‘pleadin’ the case’ boils down tae this: Stella… has a bad habit.”

Well, now Fredrick was certainly curious.

“Oh? One could say she has a lot of ‘bad’ habits, but which one are you getting at?”

“Her problem—that I’ve seen in her since she was a wee lass—is that she has a bad habit of lettin’ a good thing sit fer too goddamn long by virtue of pride.”

Fredrick nodded, understanding immediately,

“Definitely. Heh, seen her pride cause a few… issues with her over the course of our relationship, that’s for sure.”

“Put it this way—you two takin’ that last, final step together? Stella wants it so badly tae be on her terms… and she knows you’ll most likely let her do that. She doesn’t know when she’ll be ready. But she wants to propose tae you, mate,” Vona informed.

A surprise for sure… but a welcome one. And really, not all that much of a surprise in a few aspects.

“She’s told you she wants to do that?” he asked.

“Nae.”

“Then… how’re you so sure?”

She deadpanned.

“I’m her mother. I know more about her than she knows about her fuckin’ self.”

“Touché. So… you’re saying that she’s completely gung-ho about all of this… but on her timetable and her terms?”

His summary seemed sufficient to her.

“Pretty much, mate,” Vona said. “And she’s countin’ on you—her lovely, caring, understanding, and sympathetic coltfriend—tae move at her pace. But more than that, despite what she thinks, she’s absolute shite at this sorta stuff. She second-guesses herself the longer she dwells.

“She’s got Vampir’s militaristic mind and can find a dominating strategy in an instant… but it don’t translate tae dick with relationships… as I’m sure you’ve found out.” she implied.

Fredrick’s eyes went wide in familiarity, and he nodded in full agreement.

“Oh yes. Absolutely witnessed.”

Schiavona sat up and leaned back against both of her arms.

“Pride and inaction don’t make good fuck buddies. Which is why—if you’re oh-so willing—I would like you tae take the initiative.

“Yer more easy-goin’ and observant. Nothin’ bad about that, mate. Stella needs a fuckin’ counterbalance in her life. A ‘cunt whisperer,’ if ya will.

“But tae give her what she really wants, she also needs that leading side of yers that you’re more than capable of.”

Spacing out and flicking his eyes elsewhere, Fred dwelled on those words for a moment. Because of more human customs from whence he came, he figured he would’ve been the one to pop the question at some point in the future. But in hearing what Vona had to say just now made him really want to be the first to do this… maybe not tomorrow or the next month… but goddamn did he want to see the look on her face when he beat her to the punch.

Schiavona’s voice cut into his thoughts before a full response could be formulated:

“But just tae make sure I’m not talkin’ out me arse… do ya want tae marry Stella?”

Fredrick looked at her and didn’t even need to deliberate on the answer.

“Of course! I wanna spend the rest of my life with her.”

“And with what I sorta said before… are you okay with joining our family?”

“I’d be honored.”

Schiavona beamed, clapped her hands together, and shimmied her butt in place on the bed. Batpony mares were too goddamn cute—this would probably be a short marriage to Stella if they kept up this strain on his heart.

“Awrite, mate!” she exclaimed. “Then—of course—take yer time. But don’t fuckin’ dilly nor dally, ya pale wank. The clan’s gettin’ impatient.”

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow, wholly unconvinced.

“You mean you’re getting impatient, right Vona? And this is just a means to an end for grandchildren… riiiiiight?”

Even the way she glowered at him for that comment was identical to Stella. The whiplash this evening was intense.

“You shut yer whore mouth, ya human twat. You an’ Stella are gonna produce strong offspring worthy of the clan’s name! And you two’re gonna be fuckin’ pleased about it!”

Just like with Stella, he knew there were multiple layers of jokes and sarcasm on top of the foundation of seriousness. He giggled.

“Yes, Vona. It will eventually be done. But in the meantime, the focus should likely be tying the knot, first, methinks,” Fred said, smirking.

Thankfully, she seemed to agree.

“Good idea! It’ll take as long as it needs to—within reason. But now that ya mention it, I don’t think it hurts tae… lay the foundation…” she then added.

Fredrick did not exactly welcome nor expect the crypticness. In hindsight, from who he was talking to, he probably should have.

“Ummm… what?”

Schiavona sat up completely, then eagerly got her hooves back onto the ground.

“Let’s go fer a little… night adventure through Canterlot.”

Fredrick blinked hard.

“Ummm… what?”

Vona pat his legs encouragingly.

“You heard me, lad! Get up!” she said, then pointed to his belt on the ground.

“And put yer fuckin’ belt on, ya fuckin’ slob. Let’s go fer a walk, get a spot of tea and sweet, and let’s… continue our little chat while we’re at it. Because I think we need tae brainstorm a little bit…” she added.

“Uhh, right now right now?” he asked. He needed to make sure that he was in the same plane of reality at the moment.

In complete disbelief, Fredrick watched her sashay back towards the balcony and out into the moonlight. She then took a comfortable seat on the balcony guard and gazed back at him with those familiar golden eyes that glowed extra bright in the moonlight.

Like the absolute chad that he expected her to be, she completely ignored answering his direct question, and ended with a simple:

“Don’t keep me waiting, Fredrick~!”

She spread her wings and let herself fall back over the railing and ‘plummet’ towards the earth and castle moat, disappearing from direct sight.

Fredrick stared for a few seconds at the exact place Schiavona was sitting. He pursed his lips in disbelief.

“Dude… I just wanted to go to sleep early, tonight!”

28. Logistics

Author's Note

Touched up and released on the day that I'm officially a year closer to death. Don't say I don't do nothin' for yous :raritywink: :rainbowlaugh: :heart:

28. Logistics

It was easy enough for Fredrick to just put his shoes back on, and—like Schiavona had so graciously reminded him—to re-fasten his belt. Just like that: fully dressed again. Thankfully his shirt and pants weren’t too wrinkled from power-bombing himself onto his bed for a perceived early night in.

And after running a brush through his hair and quickly taking a toothbrush over his teeth, he lamented that he wasn’t tired anymore… not after shitting himself at her sudden entrance. Based on this, he had no preconceptions that he’d be getting back to the embrace of his bed any time soon.

Not that there was much he could do about it now, so Fredrick figured that he might as well enjoy his time out with… Stella’s mom of all people.

Such was his rationalization as he strode out of the castle archways and across the moat bridge.

And—much as he had expected—there was no Schiavona to be immediately found once he stepped foot from ‘Royal Ground’ and into the city proper. Hands in his pockets, a quick sweep from left to right down the main avenue that ran perpendicular to the bridge was devoid of any smol batpone mares.

But as Fredrick had learned over his tenure with anything even remotely related to Stella, things were rarely what they seemed.

His intuition served him correctly when he heard a familiar, feminine batpony scree just above and to his left.

Fredrick smirked, and turned to face the source, which—as custom by this point—was a rather elegant-looking Schiavona… by virtue of her sitting with her legs crossed, atop a street pillar. The streetlight that it cradled in its concrete structure gave an extra amber sheen to Vona’s figure.

He was convinced that Stella’s family was hoarding all the best genes.

She exaggeratedly announced, gesturing with both her arms:

“I see ya finally made it out intae the fresh night air! It’s beautiful out!”

He chuckled and noted offhandedly:

“And now I know where Stella gets her penchant for extravagant entrances.”

Schiavona gracefully pushed herself off and landed on her hooves with a couple, tactical flaps of her wings. She confidently strode over to his right side from behind him.

And he sure as hell wasn’t blind to the rather… allusive tone with which she conveyed her next sentence.

“And you’d be right! I taught her everythin’ she knows,” she said.

And like most suggestive words with his marefriend (and Sveta for that matter), he couldn’t really tell at first glance whether she was joking or not.

“That’s… kinda disturbing, not gonna lie.”

Vona, to all her credit, didn’t seem to care.

“Right then! Come on, ya leaky protein hose! There’s one place Vampir and I would always go to when visiting Canterlot… since we were datin’!”

She linked her arm with his and aggressively dragged him along… and Fredrick was brought back with yet another whiff of nostalgia when he damn-near face planted on the street. As he was whisked away—debatably against his will—into the night, he was once again struck by how so many things about Stella just… made sense now.

For better or worse.

Welp. Tonight will at least be exciting.

And literally the moment they got to strolling towards… wherever Schiavona was taking him, she suddenly launched into a scathing tirade, having apparently taken issue with the admittedly awkward arm linking.

“And don’t just let yer arm go fuckin’ limp like yer dick after Stella vacuums yer balls outta yer pisshole! Hold me arm in yers like ya fuckin’ mean it! Be the fuckin’ gentlecolt I know you are, cunt!”

Fredrick folded his arm at a proper angle where Schiavona could properly link her arm—he was getting some quality Vietnam flashbacks from his first outings with Stella.

Vona’s tone was suddenly much sweeter this time around.

“Now that’s more like it, love!”

At this point, Fredrick trusted Schiavona to lead them where they needed to go—he was more than content to just quietly enjoy a stroll through nighttime Canterlot, on the way to get some evening refreshments…

…all while engaging in discourse regarding him proposing to Stella. With her mom.

Because… of course he would be.

By virtue of having a more adventurous marefriend, he had been fortunate enough to explore a fair bit of Canterlot by now. And this made him all the more curious as to where Schiavona was taking him, because it was likely some place that he passed constantly… but remained blissfully unaware of the connected, wholesome history it harbored. When thinking of it in this light, Fred was kinda low-key stoked at the prospect. Once again, he had to lend some thought to how fate had interesting ways of ensuring he had a good time against his will.

“So… random question,” Fredrick ventured.

“Aye?”

“I’ve never dabbled in this stuff, so I’m not sure what the customs here are for ponies, let alone batponies… but if one was to ehhh… initiate a marriage proposal, what’s the proper way to do it?

“Are there like… rings? Getting down on a knee? What… exactly happens?”

“There’s certainly… customs, if you will. And yer spot on, mate—a wee bit o’ difference fer batponies. And specifically, our clan…” said Vona.

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow and glanced down at the smol batpony mare gracefully holding his arm with renewed interest.

“Oh? Do tell~.”

She gestured with her free right hand appropriately as she talked, with Fredrick more than keen on the reassuring edge to her words:

“Well, we do have rings here, and those are all peaches n’ cummies. And wedding rings do mean somethin’ fer batponies and our clan, don’t get me wrong, lad. Stella would absolutely love love love love a proper ring from ye,” she said.

He knew there was clearly more to this.

“Go on…”

The sly smirk on her face revealed more than Fredrick could’ve guessed. It told him that whatever she was going to tell him wasn’t so much of a ‘suggestion’ per se.

“If ya really wanna get in Stella’s knickers when ya make yer move, give her a ring fer certain… but in addition…”

Schiavona hung on her words briefly as she led him around a corner and down another street. He carefully noted the turn she took, navigationally.

“…you will get her a dagger, and a sheath for said dagger. But not just any sheath or any dagger. Commission a custom build, including the blade material, the handle, cross-guard, any decorations—you get the idea. And beyond that, make it personal tae her.

“The knife you give her represents her in yer eyes. What she means to ye. And the sheath represents you… what you feel about yourself that best accents Stella. Combined as one, the dagger only fits the sheath.”

She excitedly gripped his arm.

“In other words, a symbol of you two being made fer one another. A perfect fit. A perfect combination. And overall, a testament to the strength and integrity of yer relationship and commitment to one another.”

Wide-eyed at the sheer thought that went into this ‘custom,’ Fredrick did have to ask about one thing that was on his mind:

“Real talk—does everything surrounding you batponies tangentially involve physical violence?”

Schiavona giggled.

“It makes a lot more sense when viewed through the lens of our history. The practice isn’t as prevalent in the rest of the range… but our family is a military one goin’ back generations. You bet yer sweet, pale bollocks that we maintain it!” she beamed.

“Didn’t you marry into the Sabre family?” Fredrick asked.

“I did! And I learned exactly what this meant to Vampir and his lineage when he proposed tae me with exactly this. I have every intention of keeping this goin’.”

Fredrick thought about it further for a few moments—he would be remiss to disregard this outright, as literally the mother of the mare he loved was telling him insider trading secrets on how to get best results. Such an act would lend even more of a pleasant surprise factor to the whole ordeal, as Stella had never informed him of such customs, nor would she expect him to know.

And the more he thought about it, he smiled. It was certainly unique compared to anything he heard of back on Earth… and this would—without fail—be the catalyst for many, many memories to come.

Even more than that, Fredrick wasn’t gonna lie to himself—the whole concept sounded cool as fuck. Just the thought of it was making him smile devilishly to the point that his dimples were starting to hurt.

Fred replied—genuinely excited:

“Alright… consider me in! I’d love to do this for her. For both of us, actually!” he said.

And as genuine as he felt in his answer… and how he wanted to go about this whole thing, it made him feel inexplicably better to know that he clearly gave the right answer. Schiavona’s warm glance up at him was worth it in its own right and warmed his heart in kind.

Fred had to hide how adorable he found it when she successfully suppressed the biggest squee she would’ve emitted.

“Fredrick that makes me so happy tae hear ye say that!” she said. “And I know whatever you decide on… she’ll just love it! I think ye know her well-enough tae make the perfect calls.”

Fredrick pressed his lips into a line.

Oh yeah. There’s actually logistics to this. Son of a bitch.

“While that’s definitely calming my nerves a bit… not gonna lie, I haven’t the first goddamn idea how to even go about this,” he admitted.

Right then, Schiavona led him (yanked him) suddenly into a rather cozy-looking tea shop… of which he wasn’t able to grab the name, nor glimpse around at the interior before she riposted:

“Well what a fuckin’ coincidence…” she began as she guided the two of them into the small queue that had formed in front of the counter.

“It’s almost like I just so happen tae be an expert designer and forger—one who specializes in blades and pistols fer a living.”

Amusedly, Fredrick smirked down at her and shook his head.

“You fucking orchestrated this shit from the beginning, didn’t you?”

Schiavona didn’t answer with words, but rather a toothy grin that told him more than words ever would. And as a comfortable silence descended on the two of them, Fredrick’s mind began to wander to his speculative ruminations. Namely, how deep did Vona’s scheming actually go?

As his thoughts meandered, he thought back to when he first met Schiavona ‘all that time ago,’ and wondered if she started drawing up plans for he and Stella ever since… and just helped coax and nudge the pieces into place over the months and eventual year that passed. He certainly wouldn’t put it past her if she was willing to go through all the effort for… this.

Fredrick suddenly envisioned Schiavona sitting on a throne in a dark robe, much like a smol Emperor Palpatine… telling him that his fate was already decided by her.

“Everythin’ has happened accordin’ tae mah fuckin’ design, ya naïve cunt!”

He accidentally loosed a peep of a throaty giggle, which garnered a suddenly bemused Schiavona’s attention.

“What? Ya fuckin’ shot yer cake batter in yer trousers ‘r something?”

“Nah… nothing. Just a failed cough. That’s all.”

She smirked lopsidedly.

“Right. Welp, we’re next in the queue after this mate, so see what the fuck yer mouth is horny for. My treat tonight, aye?”

Fredrick exaggeratedly glared back down at her.

“Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Vona.”

She then curtly added with a tone that refused to go further with the conversation:

“If ye touch yer fuckin’ wallet, I’ll core out yer anus with a rusty fuckin’ butter knife, shitcock.”

Fredrick shrugged, ‘admitted defeat,’ and crossed his arms as he began to take in his surroundings properly. The whole aesthetic reminded him of some mildly-hipster Boba place that he’d find in the heart of Los Angeles when he’d make the trip. All the walls were lined with beams of polished wood that hung random pictures of both Canterlot scenery, as well as pictures of what he presumed was the food and drink served here. Well… at least he hoped the latter was the case, because his stomach was starting to vacate some extra room at the sight.

The tables—identically—were wooden with metal frames… and this place appeared to be able to seat maybe sixty ponies comfortably. Lush plants were strung up in pots around the perimeter, and added some greenery to the cozy, social ambiance. Fredrick wasn’t sure of the time right now, but at this time of night, he wagered that this place was eighty-percent packed. And the clientele that didn’t stay to eat or drink, was rotating in and out with some regularity through the sieve that was the queue.

Fredrick was impressed.

Hmmm… I actually wanna sleep tonight. Hot cocoa and ummm… a chocolate croissant it is!

Right on time, too, as Schiavona yanked him right up front and center. He nearly kissed the counter when he lost his balance. Déjà vu was hitting him pretty goddamn hard tonight.

Even more so when she slapped him right on the right asscheek, which earned a yelp from him.

“Order up, fucknugget. Whatever ye like,” she said.

“I am! Jesus…”

A college-aged-looking batpony stallion waited for him behind the till with a bright, welcoming smile for this time of night.

“Hey there! What can I get’cha?”

“Hi! I’ll take the chocolate croissant with a small hot chocolate, please—”

He was promptly interrupted by Vona right next to him:

“Get him a medium, aye?”

Fredrick shot her a sideways deadpan—with which she returned a devious smile that held an undertone of ‘bitch, I dare you.’ Vona was giving off some serious motherly vibes… the types of vibes where if he didn’t eat what she thought was ‘his fill,’ she’d threaten him with physical violence until he was ‘properly full.’

He wasn’t gonna test that.

Fredrick turned back to the pony behind the counter and nodded.

“Yeah… what she said.”

The stallion chuckled—perhaps knowingly—at his plight.

“Heh, you got it, sir! And anything for you, ma’am?”

Schiavona answered eagerly:

“I’ll have me the classic lemon cake, please! Fuck me up with some proper brew of the night, too, lad… please!”

Schiavona took care of the rest from there, and Fredrick had no desire to test her earlier threat. From the counter, he wandered off to snag one of the empty tables for two, as well as gathered napkins and other ‘supplies’ that would be needed for their… feeding.

And soon enough, Schiavona dropped the tray on the table between them as she arrived and took her seat.

“Care package, bitch! Eat up, Fredrick!” she said.

Clearly the staff of this lovely establishment had put above-and-beyond effort into the arrangement of their snacks. And that was not to mention the actual look of quality of their desserts and drinks.

Fredrick smiled widely as he stared at the simple setup in front of him.

“Alright! Thanks, Vona! Really appreciate it…” he said as he placed a napkin on his lap and got ready to dig into his croissant.

Goddamn it looked delicious.

Her smile back to him now seemed genuine—no mischievous undertones detected. Probably because she didn’t have time for that when good food was literally inches from her maw.

“Believe me, Fredrick… the pleasure is all mine,” she said.

She then promptly cut a sliver of her lemon cake with her fork and (cutely) chomped it down. Fred followed her up by sinking his teeth into his evening snack, and it was every bit as good as it looked.

Holy fuck this is great. I’m dragging Stella out here every goddamn week whether she likes it or not. Fuck it—I’ll take a damn dozen of these home!

And as he eagerly sank his jaws to further polish off the croissant with little regard to his hot chocolate, he figured he would draw the conversation back to its more interesting starting point. The purpose of this little outing in the first place.

“So… specialized wedding daggers. Does this mean that you have one that Vampir gave you when he proposed?”

Fred watched as Vona continued to chew her food jovially, and rather than compromise her manners with words, she instead reached down below the table. With seemingly zero effort, which belied its hitherto concealed nature, she plopped modestly worn dagger in its sheath… right on the table, which sounded with the telltale clanging of metal and wood.

The object captured his attention right away. He didn’t wanna know in the slightest from where she pulled that.

And that’s when Vona spoke up with a prideful lilt after whetting her whistle:

“Ya know it! Kept it with me ever since he gave it tae me the night he proposed. Never let it outta me sight, or off me person.”

Fredrick tentatively reached his hand towards it.

“May I?”

Schiavona gestured invitingly, open-handed.

“Please! Have a gander, mate.”

He delicately picked up the small weapon with both hands and immediately, internally remarked at how heavy it actually was. He was no expert in knives—he had little frame of reference beyond ‘pointy metal on some hilt,’ so to him, it looked like any ol’ dagger that he had seen. Fred did notice a coat of arms of sorts right in the center, on top of the worn sheath material that was exactly the color of Vona’s navy-blue mane.

Then, he drew the blade.

Regardless of seeming like any ol’ knife at first glance, he recognized Schiavona’s personal blade being slightly curved to a single point… almost like it was just a giant fang. While the hilt looked like it had been ‘used,’ the shiny blade was immaculate, and a second pass over it with his eyes (and his fingers on the flat) revealed Vona’s full name engraved in gorgeous cursive up one of the sides. The hilt itself was likely metal by the weight alone, encased in some faux-leather-like material that was the color of her coat almost exactly.

What stood out the most from the ensemble was the lone, rhomboid crystal embedded on either side of the handle—a perfect match to Schiavona’s eyes. And much like her eyes, it twinkled and glinted at every angle that the comfortable establishment lighting struck it.

Somehow, Fred felt he was holding a piece of Schiavona’s personality. Focused, no-nonsense, and just the right amount of trollish spunkiness.

He returned the blade to its sheath and delicately placed it back on the table in front of Vona. His excitement welled up at both handling something so sacred to her, and in getting ideas for the future.

“It’s beautiful!” said Fredrick.

Schiavona beamed.

“Cheers, mate!” she said, then slipped it back under the table and ‘reattached’ it to herself… somehow.

Again, Fredrick didn’t wanna be in the business of knowing where she stored that.

He focused back on his food and continued to chomp down on his dessert when he heard Schiavona speak partially with her mouth full:

“Now…” she began anew. “I can see yer wheels turnin’ in that weird-shaped head of yers…”

His own mouth full, Fredrick looked back up at her, his faux offense manifesting in a rather sarcastic glower.

“My head’s not fuckin’ weird!”

Her deadpan told all.

“Mate, yer literally not of this fuckin’ world. Yer goddamn alien to us in all aspects, dickholster.”

He couldn’t exactly argue with that.

“Fair… but it’s symmetric! At least gimme that.”

Vona dismissed his words into the ether for more important conversation.

“Sure mate, whatever ye say tae keep yer twat hairs clean,” said she. “But now that you’ve had some… inspiration, what ideas do ya have? I wouldn’t mind giving ye some direction, either~.”

“Well. If we gotta even think about this now… Here’s maybe what I’m thinking…”

Fredrick knew he wasn’t gonna walk away from here and propose to Stella tomorrow… nor would he do it next week, next month, nor even the next few months. Hell, he thought he had at least a couple of years to sort his shit out and have a rather corporate discussion with his mare about what they wanted to do. With Schiavona’s shadowy intervention of sorts, and with several ideas being planted into his head and further reaffirming how he felt about his foul-mouthed marefriend…

…he perhaps could be convinced to move up the timetable by… a couple years at most.

Schiavona and he discussed several ‘prototypes’ that Fredrick had committed to thought after taking inspiration from her personal dagger. Much to his surprise, she was much less sarcastic and ‘shitpost-y’ around this matter. She offered genuine advice, expert opinion, and even helped tactically fill in some of the gaps that Fredrick had in conjuring the perfect ‘projection’ of Stella.

The birth of the ‘idea’ in front of him was surreal in its own right. With Schiavona’s help, he had a place to start… and in a sense, this ceremonial giving of a dagger would act to him as the quantifiable ‘readiness’ of him fording that last step with the mare of his dreams. He also learned that said giving was called ‘Sheathing the Blade.’

One evening drink, dessert, and napkin design later, Fredrick came away with something that—surreally—was getting the ball rolling. The next six-months to a year were going to hold very interesting bits of sleuthing and secrecy.

By the time everything was finished, it appeared that Schiavona had accomplished what she came to Canerlot for. Fredrick figured as much because the two of them left without any violence being inflicted upon him, and that Schiavona asked him to escort her back to Canterlot Central Station.

Because… apparently, she had purchased her roundtrip tickets according to a rather strict timetable around ‘convincing’ Fredrick.

This mare was actually starting to scare him in some ways.

“So!” said Vona, smiling brightly up at Fredrick as her night train back to the Northern Range was boarding.

“Thanks again fer… entertainin’ me tonight, aye?”

Fredrick watched her open her hands to him whilst bouncing on the tips of her hooves. Rolling his eyes but smiling widely nonetheless, he opened his arms to her in kind, and she jumped into his embrace. He hugged her tightly around her waist as she hung off his neck, and with a rather grandiose peck on his cheek, she dropped back down to the floor.

“Heh, honestly towards the end, it was my pleasure! I’ll write you when I’ve got something fully fleshed out, alright?” he said.

She nodded eagerly.

“Aye! Just drop the design in the post, list all the materials… fuck on and fuck all, just like I showed ye tonight!”

She then flashed her teeth allusively.

“Once I get it, I’ll start the proper commission process. When I size that shit up, I’ll send ya an invoice! Can’t do it fer free, but I can get ye the ‘soon-tae-be-family discount,’ mate,” she said, winking.

Fredrick chuckled, feeling his cheeks blush as he fit his hands in his slacks pockets.

“No worries at all—Stella will be worth whatever the price happens to be. And thanks, Vona… for everything, really. Won’t be done tomorrow, but you’ll be hearing from me at some point.”

She beamed, then hugged him tightly around his torso once again.

“Sounds like a plan, mate! And, thanks fer walkin’ me tae the station, aye? Means a lot!”

Before Fredrick could reply, a commanding voice from a faceless, ethereal-sounding stallion broke over the Central Station’s loudspeaker system:

“FINAL BOARDING CALL FOR TRAIN NUMBER SIXTY-NINE NONSTOP TO THESTRALSHIRE ENCLAVE ARRIVAL AT TERMINAL FOUR-TWENTY. FINAL BOARDING CALL.”

Fredrick smirked.

“Niceeeeeee.”

“Hmmm?”

“OH! I said ‘anytime!’ The least I could do is see you off, Vona. You better get on board before they leave without you!”

Another quick hug followed before the Sabre matriarch pivoted on her hooves towards the still-open train car on the platform.

She called out over her shoulder with a wide smile:

“Cheers, Fredrick!”

Fredrick watched as Schiavona crossed her arms behind her back and literally began skipping all-merrily-like on her hooves towards the train-car door. With one last friendly wave when she passed the passenger door threshold, the doors sealed her off from his view, and the train’s brakes disengaged shortly afterward.

And so ended another close encounter of the thestral kind in city of Canterlot.

[Meanwhile Back in Thestralshire…]

It was the exact same path she had taken as a filly. The same path that she had shown Sveta the first time when she was old enough to finally brave the obstacles, and it was the same path that Stella had led Fredrick on well-over a year ago. The path never deviated… well, perceptibly at least. And it would likely only change significantly through erosion when Stella was long but dust in the wind.

And by that point, she figured her descendants would’ve inherited the secret spot by then… or she’d haunt the shit out of whomever was squatting in it.

But for now, it was hers… and Sveta’s. And by dual decree, it was also Fredrick’s. And it never failed to bring a smile to Stella’s face when her hooves retraced that same path... using the same techniques, and using the same hoof and hand holds to make their way into their lush, wet, mossy enclave.

Just as she had left it last.

Sveta broke the silence as she led into their ‘home away from home,’ as it were:

“Fuckin’ hell… how long has it been since you an’ I were up here?” she asked, large beer bottle in hand.

Stella was right behind her, with an equally-inappropriately large beer bottle in hand.

The two of them, like clockwork, drew a passing hand through the gorgeous, picturesque curtain of water that flowed down the middle.

“Too long, mate. Why I wanted tae come up here again in the first place… A good place tae end the night, innit?” she said.

Stella and her sister took their seats on the same stones that they always had… the ones that gave them a perfect view out of the rock aperture and down to the lush world below. The same seats that she and Fredrick took when she marshalled up all the courage she had in her body to tell him that she loved him.

Stella offered her hand once they properly settled in.

“Here… lemme get that fer ya.”

Sveta handed over her beer, and Stella popped both tops at an instant before handing it back to her.

Her sister smiled.

“Cheers, mate!”

Stella shrugged.

“The bare fuckin’ minimum I could do. You got me fer food and drink tonight. Next time is on me, per custom,” she said.

Sveta put forth the neck of her bottle, and Stella followed reflex and clinked her bottle against hers in a wordless ‘cheers’ gesture.

“I’ll drink tae that, mate. To a lovely evening out!”

Stella mirrored her sister’s smirk identically.

“To a lovely evenin’ out.”

The two simultaneously took a drink, and it was one of the few times that Stella was able to just relish in the comfortable silence with a view to go with it. While said view was limited due to the night time, she could hear the always-present, gentle rain that continued to fall on the lush world outside… a simple sound from her earliest memories as a filly, and one that she would always cherish when it came time to relax and ultimately sleep.

After an undetermined amount of time, Stella flicked her eyes over to Sveta, and found her nearly dozed off with a dopey, accomplished grin plastered to her muzzle. With this much alcohol in her, and the long day behind her, it simply was impossible to not smile along with Sveta.

Stella softly broke the silence:

“Hey Svet’?”

Sveta’s eyes opened fully and she answered:

“Hmm?”

Stella’s chest felt light… her heart fluttered in a manifestation of all the beautiful feelings that were cycling around in her core. She regarded her sister with a much fonder expression than she would otherwise feel inclined to at any random moment.

“This… this is nice. I’ve missed this. A lot. I’m glad we got tae do it again, aye?” she voiced.

And then she promptly added in the same, fond tone:

“By the way… have I told you how fuckin’ proud of ye I am?”

To say that Sveta appeared completely horrified yet bemused would be the understatement of the century. She looked like Stella just broke her guitar in two in front of her. Still, Stella had to give her younger sister credit where credit was due with the razor-sharp with sarcasm that was native to the family:

“You some kinda fuckin’ Changeling Agent? Ya got arse cancer and dying? What’s the fuckin’ deal? Never heard ye level a word’a fuckin’ praise at me in me life!”

Stella leaned her head against the rock wall, and annoyedly replied:

“Oh fuck off, lass. Am I not allowed tae say anythin’ nice about me sister?”

Sveta cocked an eyebrow. Stella immediately knew that she walked into whatever she was gonna spew out her mouth.

“I mean… not without suspicion of high treason. Ya goin’ soft on me, twat?”

“OoOokay, turdfucker. That fuckin’ better for ye, ya cheeky cunt?”

Sveta launched into a massive laughing fit, and the warmth in Stella’s core—courtesy of the alcohol—implored her to participate in havin’ a giggle.

“PFFT! ‘Turdfucker.’ I don’t think I’ve ever heard ya say that one.”

“Plenty more first-time one-liners if ya don’t let me heap fuckin’ praise on you, ye fuckin’ tit. I oughta slap the shit outta ya! I’ll fuckin’ pull yer goddamn ovaries straight outta yer fuckin’ meat cavern and wear ‘em fer cuff links. Twat!”

Sveta beamed.

“There’s the Stella I know! Haha! Well, now that I know yer not a fuckin’ imposter… wanna repeat what I never thought I’d ever hear come outta yer mouth?” she asked, almost a bit too innocently for Stella’s liking.

Then again, Sveta was all-too good at the same tactic when put to use against Fredrick, so she couldn’t exactly hold that against her.

“Heh… aye, I’m just in a fuckin’ good mood after everythin’ that’s happened. It’s kinda put everythin’ intae perspective, but…

“You’re right—I really haven’t said it much but… I really am proud of ye. Yer education, yer band… all of it. I just…”

Stella wasn’t sure why she was bringing this up suddenly, but she paused for just a couple of seconds to make sure she could properly vet her next words carefully. She silently acknowledged the irony, considering she normally took pride in letting her mouth run unrestrained, especially with her family.

But this, undeniably, felt wonderful to voice.

“Yer a good lass. You deserve the world and even though yer just walkin’ titwank fantasy, yer the best sister I could ask for and I love you.”

Sveta seemed genuinely touched by her words, though such a vulnerable face gave way to a soft, and eventually loud and unbridled laughter.

“What all this sounds like… is that you and Fredrick are doin’ really fuckin’ well!” she said, then added:

“He find yer special spot up yer bunghole?”

Stella giggled under her breath.

“Nah mate. I dunno… ever since we kinda came tae terms that we’re gonna… remain together, it’s just been one long sense of…”

Stella twirled her hand to jog her lexicon.

“Fuckin’… blissful acceptance? Aye. That’s the word. The words. Fuckin’ hell. Never been good with ‘em. I probably learned those from Fredrick.”

Sveta adopted a much more teasing, sarcastic demeanor, and infantilized her tone:

“Oh yeeeaaahh? Well if ye love ‘im sOOoooOOOoo much, why don’tcha MARRY HIM?”

“That’s the plan.” said Stella.

Sveta took a good swig of her drink before replying:

“So matter-of-factly. Huh. Never thought I’d ever hear those words outta yer mouth about anypony, Stella. Yet somehow I’m still not surprised—it’s Fredrick after all.

“Ya gonna force his hand? Or do it yerself?”

Stella shrugged, then sighed out dreamily.

“I honestly don’t know. I figured we’re at least a couple years out from that… so I’ve got time tae decide. Not even sure who wants it more, really…”

Sveta cocked her head.

“Eh? How? I thought you two talked about this or something—would’ve figured that you two would know where ye stand with each other in that regard,” she said.

“We did talk… and we do know where we stand with each other. But…”

“But what, lass?”

“Just never seems like it’ll be the right time. That I’ll be ready, y’know?”

Sveta killed another third of her bottle with one swig and shrugged.

“I mean… will ye ever be? What’s yer criteria fer ‘readiness?’ Can ye define it?” she asked.

Stella pursed her lips and sunk into her thoughts. This was a fantastic question, and one that she had skated around but never got to answering herself. Hell, she was pretty sure Fredrick never really answered that for himself either… otherwise, she felt he would’ve consulted her about his thoughts on the whole matter. While Fredrick had grown a lot since she first met him, and had been much more willing to take the initiative on things, she felt with absolute certainty that he wouldn’t go gallivanting ahead on something as serious as this.

“I’d say…” she attempted to explain. “It feels right. I don’t know how tae explain it, mate… I’ve never been good at words.”

Sveta shrugged.

“Well, if ye can’t really define it, that’s not a bad thing in my personal opinion. But that just means you’re not sure what ‘ready’ means… and by that token, ye can’t really know when you’ll be ready, aye?”

She then took a sip and promptly continued:

“Which then means that—if my theory is correct—one of ye is gonna just snap and pop the question when you just can’t take it anymore. It just remains tae be seen who it will be: you, Fredrick, or you urging him onward so he makes the move.”

Stella giggled.

“You seem to be a lot more invested in the concept than I am right now—we’re still a little ways away from that, lass.”

“How can ye be sure? Ya literally just said that you don’t know when you’ll be ready. Which means you both could suddenly be ready tomorrow mornin’,” said Sveta.

Stella held up her hand for a truce once she downed a third of her own bottle in one go. She hiccuped through a failed belch before she replied:

“Mate, yer makin’ too much sense fer me right now with all this fuckin’ grog in me body. I’m just gonna say ‘sure, you’re right, lass.’”

Sveta had a quip cocked, loaded, and ready to fire:

“Ye should fuckin’ say that more often, mate—would’ve saved ye a lot of heartache and money over the last ten years, Stella.”

Cute, but Stella didn’t exactly feel too threatened by that. Unimpressed, she shot right back dismissively.

“Oh go grind yer mingelips on one of yer books, lass. Don’t act like yer life record doesn’t have any dried up fuckin’ wankstains on it.”

Sveta cheekily piped up:

“One of you’s gonna Sheathe the Blade?”

Stella rolled her eyes and groaned, with her younger sister more than willing to giggle at the thought.

“Oh fuck me… I love that process but mate that’s just so involved with the plannin’ and… fuck. I couldn’t do that tae him, mate.”

She ran her palm over her forehead, chuckling whilst she shook her head.

“You know how he gets when he sets his mind to and obsesses over somethin’. He’ll get a fuckin’ stroke tryin’ tae make it perfect fer me. And if I do it, he’ll want to as well, and he’ll also get a fuckin’ stroke.”

Sveta cocked a curious eyebrow.

“Aye? Then what? Just rings or something?”

Stella nodded.

“Aye. Somethin’ like that. And yes, I know what it means tae the family. We’ll just do it after we tie it. I don’t fuckin’ care what the rest of the family has tae say—they can eat me cunt.”

It was Sveta’s turn to chuckle, which gave Stella some room to dump another inappropriate portion of her drink down her gullet. She then held out a tentative finger before Sveta could respond.

“But, regardless of what happens, or how this all plays out… would you wanna be me best mare?”

Stella had already well-decided years beforehand that, whenever she would settle down with somepony, Sveta would be here best mare. Hell, she was pretty sure they discussed this at some point with each other while drunk in the past. Any normal pony with a halfway functioning brain would figure that she would be her best mare. Even so, Sveta still appeared genuinely surprised and touched by her question. So much so, Stella almost felt like the two of them were having another moment.

Whether Sveta’s pleasantly surprised look was joking or serious, her rather emphatic response was undeniably, unmistakably genuine.

“A-Aye! Absolutely, Stella, of course I’d love to!” she said.

“Sweet! And if ya want… you can bring the band down and perform! I’d rather have you than some pompous fuckers from god knows where that play music nopony actually fuckin’ likes. At least you’d play good fuckin’ music!” Stella added.

“So what yer sayin’… is that you like our music?”

“Okay I wouldn’t go that fuckin’ far, love…” said Stella, grinning knowingly.

And that’s when Sveta’s demeanor devolved into a messy, drunken cackle… one that Stella was all too eager to participate in on account of its contagiousness.

“Fer fuck’s sake, Sveta… I love you.”

“Love you too, Stella.”

29. The Grand Yeet

[Some Time Later…]

Fredrick would rarely have to make a trip to the Castle’s Sorting Bureau for his mail, because a specially designated mailpony would often drop off anything that came his way.

That was, of course, until he and Stella became more than mere acquaintances—she had a habit of bringing over any post that was marked for him. What had started as her just being nice, sort of morphed into a wordless tradition every time she came over (which was usually most days) … a tradition that persisted to this day.

Which was why on this particular instance, he went to great lengths to ensure that she wasn’t the one to snag this particular delivery up from the front.

In fact, once he was told the day the fateful package would arrive, Fredrick requested a special, scheduled delivery after Stella had retired for the evening. To that end, he enlisted Luna’s help in assigning (and swearing to secrecy) a guard whose character she personally vouched for to sign out the package from the front and hold it until then.

And now, all he had to do was play the waiting game.

Laying back wordlessly on his bed, Fredrick rested his eyes. He blissfully took in and processed the day’s events, which were much like any other. Stella had the previous evening off, so she stayed the night, which was full of food and drink that was ordered in along with terrible movies.

Par for the course.

And come the entire day of sleeping in and one last—rather fantastic—blowjob courtesy of that experienced batpony mouth of hers, she was back to work for a nightshift of commanding the troops. Fredrick giggled at that thought… how many, if any, of her troops even remotely suspected her of taking a phat load down her gullet right before she was out there screaming at the lieutenants. After all, it was entirely her fault that he damn-near repainted her pink mouth flesh white every time she worked that thestral magic on him.

He figured she would at least brush her teeth beforehand. Stella wasn’t a goddamn savage, after all.

Fredrick found himself just on the edge of a cat nap and about to fall into a comfortable sleep when his eyes shot open at the sound of three knocks at his room door.

While he normally would’ve been mildly peeved at someone tearing him away from the embrace of sleep, a rush of excitement suddenly surged through his system. He smiled eagerly.

It begins…

Fredrick swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood up into a massive stretch. Arms overhead and doing his best to un-crease his shirt, he strode over to the door. He then spared a glance over his shoulder and out towards the open balcony window—Stella could be anywhere, and it was not exactly unheard of for her to drop in on him suddenly to scare the shit out of him.

All part of ‘her charm,’ after all.

Fred turned the doorknob and creaked his door open inward. Poking his head out, he found exactly…

…not who he was expecting.

Fredrick blinked so hard he probably pulled a muscle in his forehead… and he rubbed his eyes of the evening fatigue just to be sure that he was still seeing those same bright, emerald eyes staring back at him.

“Fucking… Midnight?!”

The amazoness pony of a mare glanced down both ends of the corridor before she quickly moved to push herself inside—and past Fredrick, too.

All the while, her words were calm and stoic with just the right amount of accented, teasing lilt:

“Let’s get the fuck inside and shut the door, silly!” she said.

Fredrick hadn’t the time to register whom Luna had, apparently, anointed for this extremely important and secret task—he closed and locked the door behind them.

He then turned to his guest in his room—a fully-armored up Midnight Song—in all her tall, built, pique-death-by-snu-snu likeness and glory. He hadn’t seen her in full armor since the first time he met her all that time ago, and in the passing moment, he was offered a proper look at her.

In becoming with her armored state, her sword was dutifully attached to her left hip. Even more than that, there also appeared to be a holstered, massive hand-cannon of a pistol directly adjacent to her sword’s sheath. To top it all off, a dagger was also sheathed on her right hip.

That’s when he remembered that Midnight was one of the Guard’s finest—an Honor Guard for Celestia herself. She was as arguably as well-trained, if not more so, than Stella. Ergo, this was standard equipment for her. Still, the dichotomy between her personality and her profession, much like Schneeblume, was displayed on a massive theater keynote.

Fredrick spoke up after a couple good seconds passed… especially when he noticed one last thing: an onyx-black box of sorts cradled securely in her left arm. It looked roughly the size of a shoebox and was further tucked away by her gauntlet-clad hands.

“Well then, ummm… hey, Midnight!” he finally greeted.

The Honor Guard leveled a rather lopsided smile at him. She practically shat out knowing sarcasm onto his pristine floor.

“Aww… you don’t look so excited to see me, Freddie! I’m hurt! Were you truly expecting somepony else?”

“Actually yeah,” said Fredrick. “I honestly expected some Lunar Guard I didn’t fucking know, considering I asked Luna specifically for help on this. Didn’t really expect her to tap resources ‘across the aisle,’ if that makes sense.”

Midnight giggled, and Fredrick could practically taste the naturally flirtatious tone that dripped off her pristine fangs when she smiled and talked:

“Well…” she said, and began to casually sashay around Fredrick, circling him like a predator would prey.

“Believe it or not, ‘Her Royal Highness Princess Luna, Ruler of Equestria’s Night and Realm of Dreams’ and I have a rather special relationship. I am the last defender of her sister, after all~.”

Fredrick thought about that for a moment and bobbed his head in acknowledgement.

“Well, when you put it that way, yeah this actually makes a fuckload of sense now. Alright… then I guess that means I can rely on you keep this super-secret?” he asked.

Midnight completed her circle back in front of him and cocked her head… less than impressed.

“And just why would I want to spoil the surprise? Especially one as massive as this? Shame on me to deny you the honor of proposing to Stella. And I didn’t get to where I was without being a mare of my word,” she said.

With that, she presented the mystery box to him, gripped securely in her left hand, and grinned.

“Package for you, my handsome human friend.”

Fredrick glanced directly at it… and then flicked his gaze back up at the imposing pony, who only lowered her eyelids and smiled teasingly at him. That further placated any residual doubt he might’ve had. Midnight was a mare of her word, after all—he had absolutely no reason to distrust her otherwise. And she was right on one front: what would she gain from ruining the surprise?

He smiled back gratefully and reached out with both hands to securely take possession of what he had been all jittery in looking forward to. With the now-clearly wooden box in his grasp, he gently pulled back.

Midnight did not let go… and actually tightened her grip on it.

Fredrick blinked and flicked his eyes back up to meet hers, and that same teasing expression was painted on her face.

And in that infuriating tone of hers, she added:

“One condition~.”

Fredrick rolled his eyes but smiled back, nonetheless. He knew something like this was gonna happen, but he also knew Midnight wouldn’t request anything beyond reason…

…he hoped. She was still kind of a wildcard from his experience.

“And what would that be? I’m not dropping my pants.”

Midnight threw her head back and genuinely laughed.

“Oh, I see you still have very little faith in me… but no, my condition is: when you decide to go through with this, please let me know ahead of time? I’d like to be there for the occasion~,” she said.

Fredrick smiled at the thought. He’d be honored if she was. It would be an extra bit of moral support, as well.

He beamed back up at her.

“You got it, Middy. I’d honestly love it if you were there!”

And just like that, she released the box, and Fredrick took full control and ownership over it. Bringing it close to his chest, he ran his thumb over the smooth, straight-up-black, furnished wooden box top. What stood out immediately was the engraving of a simple, barely coded message in golden, gorgeous cursive.

FCH to SFS

He could hazard a solitary guess what that meant, but it was still a lovely gesture, nonetheless.

Fredrick spared a look back up when he heard an inquiry-laden clearing of one’s throat.

“You uhhh… gonna open it?” she asked.

“You fuckin’ know it! Come check it out with me!”

Midnight beamed as she fell into step right behind him.

Fredrick sailed over towards his bed and set the box right on top of his neatly made and pressed comforter. The next step was figuring out how to open the damn thing, but thankfully, it looked like there were two small latches on the rectangular box’ shorter sides that securely held the top in place. It was easy enough to unlatch and then delicately set the top aside—he sure as hell was keeping this box for posterity.

The object, which was to be of his affections, was not visible quite yet… obscured on top by a neatly folded note with a single sentence written in beautiful cursive:

Read me first, cunt.

Fredrick flipped the paper open with his thumb so he could read the—also, beautifully handwritten—message within. Midnight peered over from behind, which he didn’t mind.

Fredrick,

Enclosed within this box is the custom-built dagger and sheath for Stella that you commissioned. As discussed earlier, all materials requested have been used and sourced from the finest ores, cast in the finest foundries, and encrusted with the purest minerals.

I have personally forged this beautifully unique blade with extreme precision and care—and the pieces I could not manufacture personally were overseen in forges and smithies that I would trust with my life.

In my personal opinion, you have chosen very well. I would be delighted to have you present this to my daughter.

Before you go doing so, Sheathing the Blade requires specific gesturing, and key words to be spoken. I’ve enclosed such a guide as well, deeper within the package. You’d do well to familiarize yourself if you want to achieve maximum panty points and infinite suck jobs during your future lifetime together.

Please examine the final product and let me know if anything is out of place.

Don’t fuck this up, Freddie. ;-)

Lots of love,

—V

Fredrick giggled breathily through his nose at that last, rather important detail: ‘Don’t fuck this up.’ Schiavona certainly had a habit of instilling a morale boost in the best of ways. It was continually reinforced that the apple—Stella—didn’t fall far from the tree. In fact, it fell right at the fuckin’ base of said tree.

He shook his head, smiling. But as he set the note to the side, his chest and core were being molested in all the right ways of excitedness. A single barrier of really thin paper separated his touch and sight from the finished dagger, and all that remained was just to cast that aside in one fateful pull.

Fred glanced up and behind him towards a rather vested, inquisitive Midnight… who glanced right back at him. Her eyes made her seem even more excited for this than he was, which seemed like a physical and theoretical impossibility.

“Well? Go on! I wanna see this too!” she said.

He didn’t need any further encouragement, and with that, Fredrick cast aside the last paper barrier with bated breath…

…and slowly exhaled in awe when he saw what lay nestled within.

Both weapon and sheath were comfortably kept in their own little warrens, parallel to one another and angled at forty-five degrees. And as Fredrick tentatively held a hand out to touch, he remarked internally how it looked like he was looking at his drawing, come to life. The feeling of when he first commissioned art back on Earth, and seeing it come to life beyond his expectations was immediately recalled…

…but this? This was something different altogether.

This actually meant something for the near future. This was a dream that was coming to life in front of him.

With a delicateness that he would show a baby rabbit, Fredrick picked up the sheath and brought it into view where both he and Midnight could see it clearly in the evening, magic candlelight. He smiled widely at what greeted him, when examining it at all angles:

The sheath itself—much like Schiavona had detailed to him—was supposed to be a representation of him and what he brought to their relationship, figuratively. As for the base material, he took inspiration from the magically treated faux leather that Schiavona had on hers but opted for a different color: a deep brown that matched his hair… hair that Stella just loved to run her hands through.

To him, this was passion. Passion and love, especially for her, their relationship, and everything it stood for.

Right in the middle on either side was placed a circular-cut emerald, which matched the color of his eyes. From those midpoints emanated a simple rhomboid, tessellating pattern that covered the entire surface area… linking his eyes to a sense of order amongst the chaos.

He couldn’t count on all his extremities how many times he had been able to figuratively ‘put the safety’ on Stella’s hair-trigger temper. He had learned—just by looking at her—to bring order back to her mind, and calm any and all of her nerves when she needed it… even if she never asked (even if not doing so would be goddamn hilarious).

He felt this sheath adequately represented all of that… and possibly then some. He smiled warmly. And perhaps most importantly was the concept of a sheath itself: to protect, guard, and cradle.

“Perfect.”

Fredrick carefully set it aside on his bed, and then switched his full attention to the real star of the show: the dagger itself.

He retrieved the dagger from its parallel entrenchment and carefully held it up by the hilt. He was immediately—like the first time he handled Schiavona’s—struck by the sheer weight. Still usable with one hand for sure… but the dimensions belied the materials used and the sheer quality of the actual construction.

For the most obvious portion, the blade, Fredrick took Vona’s suggestion on the material, and wished it sourced from the finest, magically reinforced steel, formed into a standard dagger blade. Even more than that, Fredrick requested that the steel be chemically (and magically) colored a brilliant gold to match Stella’s eyes... as her eyes were often the most captivating, and beautifully deadly, thing about her.

Furthermore, he felt he would’ve been more than okay with the expense of forging the blade out of real gold, but Schiavona politely let him know that... not only would it be abominably expensive, but gold was a ‘soft’ metal and would not stand the test of time for a dagger beyond just looking at the damn thing.

Ergo, he ultimately decided against that level of extravagance.

The navy blue crossguard was quite pronounced yet proportional to the blade length—Stella’s overly-defensive nature on display to protect the wielder’s hand... or those she loved. Both ends of the crossguard tapered off into a flat edge that could also be used offensively in a pinch. Stella’s fierce loyalty was a dangerous weapon in and of itself.

The handle was the grayish, oddly-blue-at-specific-light-and-angle color of Stella’s coat that Fredrick always fancied. He wasn’t sure how Vona was able to pull the look off, but when he explained it to her (poorly) he vividly recalled her stopping him and saying ‘I know exactly what you’re talking about—I think I know what to do.’

He still had no idea how she was able to achieve that, and had zero intention of asking.

Design-wise, it was more bulbous towards the center to better, and more comfortably, accommodate a hand around the hilt. Fred felt this subtle meaning was a bit more cheeky on his part... namely that when one was able to get the appropriate ‘grip’ on Stella, she was more controllable to wield. What that ‘grip’ was, was something Fredrick couldn’t really explain until he had to invoke it.

He admired the dagger, awestruck, as he flexed his fingers and molded his hand around the handle. It was a little small for him, but that was to be expected—Stella had smaller hands. It was meant to be a ‘fit’ for her, not him, naturally.

A gentle, thrilled, gorgeous voice over his shoulder snapped him back into reality:

“Wow~! It’s gorgeous! You came up with this?” Midnight exclaimed. Fredrick could practically see the twinkle in her wide eyes.

He beamed right back at her.

“Yeah! And thanks! I think maybe it’s a fantastic twist of fate that you were the one to deliver this to me,” he said, then moved to pick up the sheath from his bed.

He held both weapon and sheath in either hand, and flicked his gaze between both of them.

Fred sighed, relieved.

“Some instantaneous feedback from a third-party mare sure as hell has done wonders for my confidence in my choices thus far,” he admitted.

Midnight placed a seemingly offended hand to her armored chest, scoffing before her exaggerated emotions and gesticulations began in earnest:

“Oh so the ooooonly thing I’m good for is feedback? Freddie! TWICE in one night you rip my heart into pieces!” she said.

Fred was quick to the rebuttal with an infantilized tone to boot.

“Ooooh oookay Midnight,” he joked with the ever appropriate jerk-off motion.

But in so doing, he confirmed that he never learned to not give ammo to the Midnight.

“I mean... we could do that but you sure Stella won’t mind?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake...”

Her cackling ensued.

“Now all I need to do is grab a nice ring for her, and then figure out how I actually wanna go about this.”

“I might have a couple ideas for you if you’re interested…~”

[Solar Quadrant | Time Unknown]

Stella, under normal circumstances, would never want to be caught dead roaming around the Solar sections of the castle while the sun was still up and the Solar Guard still active. In fact, she could precisely count on one hand the times she ever had to wander these halls during the waking hours over her entire years-long tenure as a lunar guard in any capacity.

But, as she leaned against the stone wall just on the periphery of the office door... clad in casual clothes as to keep the lowest profile she could, she understood that these were unprecedented times.

And such times called for unprecedented action on her part.

The door she leaned next to opened up, and Stella smirked at the punctuality.

Right on time...

An alabaster face with an ethereally flowing, multicolored mane peeked out from around the open door.

“Good afternoon, Captain Sabre! This is a most welcome surprise!” Princess Celestia exclaimed, then made her way out fully to shut the door behind her.

She still smiled warmly at her, and Stella was struck as to how that warm feeling physically permeated her core and chest. It seemed like the effect she had on ponies around her was true, and she never noticed it on the few times she had been in close, private contact with the Solar Princess. She owed Fredrick fifty bits.

The princess continued excitedly before Stella could speak up:

“When I got your message, the... unusual request for an audience from an esteemed member of Luna’s Finest, and Fredrick’s love, I couldn’t help but move things around!” she said, closing the distance between them.

She then put her hands together and simply asked:

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Stella smiled back brightly and genuinely... but the fact that Celestia had a few inches on her, plus the nature in which she wanted to see the Solar Princess made her feel suddenly much smaller.

“Princess! Thank you so much fer meetin’ me on such short notice—I realize how busy yer schedule is so I just want to ensure you know how much I umm… appreciate yer time,” Stella replied.

And much to her chagrin, it appeared that Celestia could easily read that very unease and uncharacteristic lack of confidence.

“Oh don’t you worry about a single thing, Stella! I need some fresh air anyway—walk with me to the courtyard?” she said, and gestured down the hall.

Stella beamed, and quickly fell into step on her right.

“Of course!”

The walk there was fraught with what Stella felt was an almost uncomfortable silence while the princess led the way, but that quickly evaporated when the two of them entered into the beautiful sunlit day. Especially so when Celestia slowed their pace to a pleasant meander down the steps and towards the central fountain.

And the princess’ motherly tone further soothed her nerves:

“Now, Stella… something tells me you wouldn’t request a direct, private talk just to shoot the breeze… not that that’s a bad thing at all! But nevertheless, it certainly must be important! What’s on your mind, and how can I help you?”

Stella chuckled, as Celestia was right on the money, but the genuine, inviting tone was not lost on her… something that she truly appreciated.

“Heh, well… yer right…” Stella said, and then promptly realized how her words came across.

Times like these were few in a lifetime for her—where she had to clench her asscheeks so hard to prevent her innards from plopping to the ground from how hard her core dropped.

“Emmm… not how I meant that erm… how I… UGH fuck me, mate…”

She caught her cursing too late.

“Fuckin’ shit! I mean… hrm…” Stella pursed her lips and sighed out, defeated.

Thankfully, Celestia seemed like she was about to burst from holding in some mighty laughter at Stella’s expense. Normally this would evoke some primal reactions in her of the explicit variety, but these times were, again, unprecedented—which meant that such joking laughter brought her more than measurable relief.

Even more so when Celestia lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“You’re such a gem, Stella... truly. But there’s no need for formality right now. While you may be one of our greatest commanders, you’re Fredrick’s marefriend. And I feel someone who can win and keep his heart is truly a friend of mine,” she said.

They tread around the fountain, and Stella felt the princess gesture her towards the gardens.

“Now... please continue,” she added with that motherly smile that made Stella feel like she was being cradled securely as a filly.

Stella smiled right back at her, and used some of Celestia’s words as a jumping-off point to help her muddled mind along.

“Cheers, Princess... really, those words mean more than you know. Thank you,” she began, then immediately followed up with:

“But as I’m sure you could guess, it’s indeed about Fredrick. Well, Fredrick and I... maybe... kinda...” she reasoned through her words.

Stella glanced over and up to Celestia’s face, and found her having raised a curious eyebrow back at her.

And she fielded a tentatively cautious tone:

“Oh?” she asked. “Has something... troublesome happened between you two?”

Stella took care to quickly dispel any notion of trouble:

“Oh quite the contrary, Princess! Fredrick and I are... right on the next next step. I really, truly couldn’t ask fer a better coltfriend if I’m bein’ so honest.”

Stella witnessed Celestia’s face light up at those words. Perhaps it was also just a trick of the princess’ own rays of sunlight, but the thestral could’ve sworn that detected a hint of mischievous knowing on her lips.

But, again, likely just a trick of the light.

“Oh? Stella I’m so thrilled to hear that! I don’t know what it is about you two, but somehow you two work just so... perfectly. And I’m being honest, I don’t think Fredrick could be any luckier with you at his side,” said Celestia.

With an extra-reassuring, open-mouthed wink to boot.

First, she made her nervous as all shit... and now Stella found herself on the losing end of a battle to contain her prideful blush.

“Heh... well ehhh, thank you, Princess! Truly. But if we’re both bein’ honest here, I think I’m the luckier one of us,” she replied.

And before they could get more distracted with inflating her ego, Stella made sure to get the topic out:

“And actually, that’s... kinda what I’d like tae speak with you about: Fredrick. And that ummm ‘next step.’”

And again, there was the slightest glimpse of the ‘I know something that you don’t~’ look on her face... Stella couldn’t place it exactly but once again, felt like she was getting punked.

The thought was pushed back to the deepest recesses of her mind when Celestia genuinely—or so it seemed—squeed with a girlish delight that Stella would’ve expected from somepony a fraction of her age...

...and in that briefest period of wordlessness, the lewd part of her mind began firing up again.

Celestia may have looked no older than her late twenties, but Stella wasn’t even sure how many thousands of years old she actually was. And as Celestia composed herself and motioned to respond to the coming conversation, Stella had trouble foregoing what ‘category’ Celestia and Luna would fit in.

Would they be MILFs? GILFs? More like Demi-Goddeses Whose Massive Tits I’d Wanna Bury Me Head Between... DGWMTIWBMHB!

Ayeee~.

Celestia began to speak, which brought Stella back into reality as they continued on their little meander through the courtyard gardens.

“That’s wonderful news, Stella! I’m truly so excited about what the future holds for you two now! Especially so, because I’d like to think Fredrick feels the exact same way about you,” she said.

Stella smiled, and Celestia continued to speak, but with a rather pointed air of cute inquisitiveness:

“But something tells me that there’s going to be... juicier details to follow...”

Stella leveled a cheeky smirk right back at her, more than willing to engage in some light banter given the lighthearted conversational ambience.

“And what makes ye say that, Princess?” she asked.

Celestia giggled, and angled her head towards her with faux incredulity.

“Because I’m most certain that you—a mare of your stature and etiquette—would not waste a head of state’s time telling her something that she already suspected in the first place,” the Solar Alicorn said, and punctuated with a tactical wink.

A wink in which Stella heard ‘spill the beans’ loud and clear. Just as planned.

It was Stella’s turn to chuckle.

“Very true, Yer Highness. Well, the reason I asked tae see you personally... is because of how close of a friend you are with Fredrick. And from workin’ with him every day.

“If we’re gettin’ down tae brass tacks, I wanna be ready tae propose tae him. When the time is right.”

Celestia positively beamed in the sunlight, and then seemed to hold no qualms in reacting with yet another face-spanning smile:

“OOOOH WONDERFUL!”

She balled her tight hands together and shook her entire body elatedly on the tips of her hooves for a single second... and still emitted that heart-attack-inducing squee of pure joy.

Stella had to admit to herself that not even she was immune to the small display, and a genuine, hearty laugh escaped her mouth.

She needed to chat with Celestia a lot more often.

The Sun Princess then quickly composed herself, ran both her hands through her ethereal mane, and took a deep breath before continuing on.

“This is so amazing! Whenever this happens, I can’t wait to hear of your engagement! Now, what can I do to help make this as smooth as possible?” she asked... rather eagerly at that.

Stella found herself not being able to hide her fangy smile at all. She rarely had energetic talks like this with other mares beyond her sister—dare she say, she was enjoying this a lot more than she’d feel comfortable in admitting.

“Well, it’s not so much what you can do, as much as ‘I’d like some advice on how tae approach this with him and not fuck it up,’” said Stella.

“Oh?” Celestia asked. “In what sense?”

“He’s... kinda let me take the initiative on most things with our relationship. Should I let him propose tae me, as that’s how it almost always was on Earth? Or should I just fuckin’ go fer that shit?”

To those words, the alabaster alicorn was much less readily sure and forthcoming.

“That’s... a very good question, actually...” she mused, and began to stroke her lower lip.

She spoke anew:

“If I remember correctly... exchanging rings was the standard back on Earth as it is here, right? So if that’s the case, I think the method question is trivially answered?”

Stella nodded as the two strode around an unidentified statue.

“Aye. That’s not what I’m really... worried about...”

Celestia inquired:

“What is there to worry about, if I may?”

“Well... ummm... I just. Hmph,” Stella began, then pouted.

Her coherence left her as she fought to formulate exactly what she was feeling into a question. She gesticulated randomly with her hands to help her square her thoughts away from the figurative aether. And from the aether, the unknown began to get to her once more, and her insecurities bubbled up with her more concrete thoughts.

“I don’t know how tae make it... special? I’m not even concerned anymore about when I’ll know... but how tae do this just right?” she asked.

Celestia placed a hand on her shoulder, and once again, Stella felt as if a calming aura diffused through her. Just like that, her doubts were washed away in an almost magical sea of self-assurance.

How the fuck does she do that?!

Celestia gestured towards the edge of another small fountain on their path.

“Sit with me, Stella,” she said.

And as they sat together, the thestral caught a glimpse down the top of Celestia’s work dress. The valley of cream-white cleavage that was on display for fractions of a second was goddamn mesmerizing to her. She nearly let a bit of drool fall out of the corner of her mouth.

Holy fuckin’ fjord, mate,… How in the shit did Fredrick not get blood rot from constant erections around this mare?

I REALLY need tae chat with Celestia more...

The Solar Princess continued:

“I think you may be asking the wrong question here... or at least, asking it from the wrong frame of view.”

“Whaddya mean, Princess?”

“There’s really no special recipe for a proposal. Rather, the ‘special’ part of it is you... well... proposing.

“And I have no reason to believe Fredrick would care in the slightest on where you propose, or what you even propose with if I’m being completely honest.”

Stella smirked at the thought.

“Oh aye? So yer sayin’ I don’t even need a ring? Just show up and say ‘I AM the proposal, cunt!’”

That got Celestia damn-near cackling.

“PFFT, honestly... Yes! And I’m only being a teeny bit facetious.

“Sure, a ring would be as lovely as it is customary... especially one that you customize for him. He would wear it with pride! But I don’t think that’s really an important part of this at all... for you two, at least.”

“No?”

Celestia shook her head once, that same confident, assured smile on her face.

“Not at all. You could probably—right now—go find Fredrick and propose to him with a fried hay nugget from the local diner, and it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference...

“So long as you spend the rest of your life with him. Again, I’m only slightly playing.”

Stella covered her mouth so she wouldn’t spit all over Celestia from laughing. But even though she was left somewhat in stitches, she still came away with a little more mental clarity and assurance on one front.

“HAH! That’s... fair, honestly. Aye... Fredrick’s never been one for extravagance. Even so, I still think I could do just a wee bit better than a hay nugget. So I’ll get something custom fer him.

“From the heart, y’know?”

Celestia smiled widely and nodded once.

“I think that would be just swell. And as for how to make this all special...”

Stella spoke up to clarify a little bit.

“Aye, like ye said, me bein’ there is what makes it special. But like... what do I even say? Just gettin’ down on a knee and askin’ him tae marry me? I dunno... I just...”

Celestia chuckled softly.

“Nopony said you have to say that. It’s custom, sure. Cliché for certain. But I guarantee you there’ve been countless versions of that same question.”

Stella bobbed her head in consideration, leaned her face on her hands, and stared at the ground pensively. All that Celestia said was true... and she didn’t feel the standard wordage that went with a standard proposal at all. It felt contrived, for her.

But she couldn’t just say nothing... could she?

“But what else can I say? How else can I do this? Princess I’m sorry if this seems like I’m bein’ retarded or somethin’ but I’m not good with words... I just...

“...I just really really want tae make this so special. Fer him. Fredrick’s me everythin’ and he deserves so much more than I can ever give him. I’m not perfect. I’ve never been one fer too much sap.”

She glanced back up at Celestia.

“But I at least wanna get this right, y’know?”

The Princess smiled warmly.

“Are you sure you’re not good with words? What you said and how you said it really demonstrates to me how much you love him.”

Stella felt her cheeks color at his image and thought... and nodded as she returned the warmness.

“I do love him. So fuckin’ much...”

“Which is why I think you’ll already know what to say when the time comes... and how much, or how little to say.

“And even then, while your vocabulary is... heh, legendary, I would still consider you a mare of action over merely words. At the very least, when it comes to Fredrick.”

“Aye?”

Celestia nodded.

“Very much so. Put it this way, Stella—sometimes when I’ve seen you with him... your actions towards him and around him are so loud, I can’t even hear what you say.”

Stella blinked hard... then felt her eyes widen at those words, and her mouth hang slightly agape in a gentle sigh.

“Y-You really mean that, Yer Highness?”

The alicorn nodded, and then smiled so genuinely, so reassuringly, that Stella suddenly felt like she was being comforted by her own mother.

“I do. And—if we’re being honest here—would you like to know something else?”

Stella nodded once.

“I’m always happy to offer my insight to anypony, but especially to the marefriend of one of my closest friends. Thrilled, actually! But based on everything I’ve heard from you today...

“I really don’t think you needed my help!”

“Au contraire, Princess. Thank you—fer settin’ things straight in me head. Now all I need tae do is actually go grab him a ring and then figure out where tae actually do this...” said Stella.

“I might have a couple suggestions...”

[Later...]

Fredrick, he felt, was an ‘average dude.’ Well, average beyond the whole ‘getting tossed into Equestria’ bit.

As a self-proclaimed average and self-aware dude, Fredrick was in tune with his strengths and weaknesses. One of these weaknesses, in his mind, was that he was oblivious as all fuck. He felt this could be decisively proven when it took him as long as he did to even act on his own (and Stella’s) interest in each other, as well as thinking he was in any way sneaky when trying to have a cheeky look down into the holy depths of her cleavage.

And yet, even as such an oblivious, average dude, something seemed incredibly contrived about the sudden situation.

After Fredrick had unboxed the ceremonial dagger that he would present to Stella upon proposing to her, all that was left was to get a suitable ring, and to also find the ‘perfect’ moment to initiate such a proposal.

It took a couple months of diligent searching, researching, and casually extracting some information out of Stella… such as the size of her ring finger. He masqueraded the question under the guise of discussing the merits of fingerblasting. Based on that, he was able to procure such a ring.

All that remained was to decide when to actually action this plan, going on some suggestions and advice from Midnight.

And then, out of the blue Stella suddenly invited him out on this evening, and told him to wear casual clothes.

This in and of itself was not in any way unusual—Fredrick could attest to that from the hundreds of times that they’ve invited one another out collectively... some in rather obscure manner. Hell, the two of them had five date nights in the past week alone.

But he was getting some hella red flags right now. And for him to get red flags after everything he had gone through up to this point, that only meant that experience was starting to catch up with him. It had all started with something as innocuous as a little lunch date.

Stella—rather pointedly—interjected that they should continue their lunch date later tonight in the form of a nice dinner. In fact, she had already taken the liberty of inviting Sveta down the previous night, as well as possibly hanging out with any of the other usual suspects. A sudden, spontaneous trip southward for Sveta was never possible, which meant that something was already being planned without his knowledge.

But as Fredrick sat on the edge of his bed, he regarded the gorgeous box that Stella’s dagger arrived in with more than a few passing thoughts. He did not consider himself a dimwit in the slightest—he knew that Stella would definitely attempt to propose to him at some point if left to her own devices, much like Schiavona and he had discussed.

But in his humble opinion, it appeared that she had also ‘accelerated her timeline…’ much like he did.

The whole point of this exercise was for him to take the initiative, and while he wouldn’t mind in the slightest if Stella proposed to him, this whole exercise that he schemed with Schiavona would’ve had slightly less of an effect.

Fredrick stood up, snatched the box from its unassuming enclave, and placed it on his bed. He then opened up the top and retrieved both sheath and dagger.

I’m not losing this race.

He took one last meaningful look at both the exposed blade and the sheath, and then combined them into one to slip into his pocket. He covered the exposed hilt with his shirt. He then reached into his nightstand drawer and placed the velvet-blue ring box in his other pocket.

Fredrick didn’t know when the opportunity when meeting up with Stella would present himself. But, if any of the talks with the princesses, Midnight, etc. were to be believed, he’d know it when he’d see it. But it would have to happen tonight, before Stella made her move.

He’d have to push his observational skills to the max, but the payoff would be worth more than its weight in gold.

Fredrick craned his head back to check the clock. He had fifteen minutes to be where Stella requested him—the Castle Proving Grounds. He figured she was in the final stages of observing and commenting on lessons that Schneeblume was giving her troops.

And that meant he had just enough time to make good on his word.

So it begins. The Grandest Yeet of our time.

Fredrick sprinted down the Solar Quadrant towards Celestia’s bedroom…

…and right on queue, two Royal Solar Honor Guards stepped out of the shadows when he got too close, and intercepted his path towards his best friend’s room.

“Halt—oh! Mr. Himmelreich!” said the unknown mare on the left.

The tall, built mare on the right, however, was just the one that Fredrick wanted to see.

“Freddie!” Midnight exclaimed. “The Princess isn’t in her room at the moment—not sure when she’ll be back, if you’re looking for her.”

Fredrick, catching his breath, just stared into Midnight’s eyes in that specific way… and it seemed that she understood exactly what he meant after a couple seconds of silence.

She blinked.

“Wait… Right now?” she asked, her emerald eyes widening and mouth creasing into a smile.

“Yeah. Proving Grounds. Ten minutes. Stella’s planning something and I’m not taking any chances, so I’m going for it. Can you make it?”

Midnight answered with more than an excited, emphatic nod.

“YES! I’ll be there, and I’ll help you buy the time you need to make sure you can do this shit first,” she offered.

Fred didn’t get a chance to even ask for elaboration to that before she pivoted on her hooves.

“Hey Star? Cover for me please? I gotta deal with the fate of the planet,” Midnight asked.

Thankfully, her comrade seemed more than accommodating.

“You got it! Do what you gotta do!”

“And I know just the thing…” said Midnight.

Fredrick watched her sprint down the hall as she called back.

“I’ll see you there, Freddie!”

Fredrick called back as he turned on his own heels and began to power walk away.

“See you soon!”

He took a deep breath as he set on his next path.

Time to bag me a cute, Scottish, batpony wife.

Author's Note

As you might expect, next chapter is going to be fuck-you level length. It'll be a doozy, but well worth it and necessary. See you then! :raritywink:

30. Fate

Fredrick stood on the edge, staring down at his fate.

But not in the ‘counting down the seconds to his self-demise because a camgirl did not announce his name over stream after a ridiculous donation,’ sense. It was more of an ‘I’m on the precipice of shitting myself because I’m about to propose to a girl who already loves me dearly and wants to marry me’ sense…

…or something like that.

He had already power walked through the corridors of the castle, strode through the seemingly endless sea of green that was the Northern Courtyard… and now there he stood at the edge of what he had come to know fondly as ‘The Great Stairway to Hell.’ Not that it actually led to the abyss or anything, but that whatever he was going to be privy to going down that set of stairs would be living hell for the soldiers involved.

And lord knows what it held in store for him… hopefully something good as it was oft to do.

Hell, down at the Battle Circle was the site where Fredrick asked Stella back to his room for their first pseudo-date—the next big step in their relationship, as it were. He was not blind to the irony that this would hold an even greater step for them.

“OOOOOIIII! DICKHEAAAAD!” Fredrick heard a far-off, familiar voice rip through his reverie.

Blinking his head clear, he glanced down towards the bottom of the stairway and, just in front of the small crowd of troops gathered around the Battle Circle, a lone, feminine-looking figure stood. She was practically t-posing at him.

“THE SHOW’S MUCH BETTER DOWN ‘ERE, MATE! GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE BEFORE I COME UP THERE AND PULL YE DOWN BY YER RIGHT BOLLOCK YA FUCKIN’ CHEEKY, COMBED-HAIRED, FUCK, SLIM CUNT HUMAN WANKER!”

Fredrick laughed heartily. Some things never really changed, and he hoped they never would.

He yelled back as he started down the stairs.

“YEAH, YEAH… I’M COMIN’.”

“YE ALWAYS DO AT NIGHT, LOVERCOLT! NOW GET DOWN HERE AND GRAB FRONT ROW SEATS, YA TWAT, OR I’LL SIT ON YER FACE!”

Fredrick shrugged, shaking his head in joking misunderstanding.

“THAT’S—THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS, WOMAN! YOU CAN’T THREATEN ME WITH A BETTER TIME!”

“BET, CUNT!”

Fredrick smirked down at her—well, what he could make out of her from the top of the massive stairway. She had just leveled at him an incomprehensible amalgamation of random insults and swear words, and another pejorative with a sexual innuendo as an acting conjunction.

Stella was definitely in extremely high spirits today, but then again, this tended to be the norm on almost all days aside from some notable exceptions. Even so, he couldn’t help but wonder if her mood today was partly as a result of some pre-meditated plans?

Only time would tell.

Two could play at that game… or technically, one could play at that game where it was debatable whether the other player was actually playing or not. And if the other player was, in fact, playing, he didn’t want to get caught with his flaccid dick out.

His thoughts digressed.

Fredrick sailed down the stairs at a comfortable pace after giving Stella a thumbs-up. He could’ve probably gone faster, but he wanted to make sure that the precious cargo he was carrying in his pockets didn’t spill out like spaghetti on the ground… especially the dagger, which was still concealed.

His already bright, eager demeanor continued to lighten when Stella came further into view—even more so when she moved to intercept him at the bottom of the stairs. That familiar lightness in his core… the one that elevated him to such heights of happiness, had not diminished in the slightest since the day they became friends. And from all the shenanigans and adventures since then, that feeling within him had only gotten stronger.

Here was to hoping that feeling, directly correlated with the bond they shared, would become unbreakable.

The animal part of his brain dictated that Fredrick slide down the railing for the last flight, which was executed successfully without dropping any precious cargo. Just as he had seen coming, Stella was waiting for him right at the bottom with open arms…

…and by ‘open arms’ he meant ‘she just threw himself onto him with zero regard for his preparedness.’

Though Fredrick did have to admit… she looked hot in her captain’s uniform: a dark gray with a few blood-red accents on her lapels, pockets, as well as an identically colored dress shirt. Combined with her having forewent the visor-cap, and all further complemented by those golden eyes, that smile and that ponytail on display…

…just… MMMMPH!

“Hey babe!” Fredrick beamed as he embraced her tightly to him by the waist.

Her response was not immediately forthcoming, aside from an exaggerated kiss on his lips… and then subtly biting her lip when she separated from him.

“Evenin’, love!” she replied, and then began taking him by the hands towards the Battle Circle.

“Thanks fer makin’ it out on such short notice! I know ye like tae have yer personal wanking hours but with Sveta and the lasses all here…” she hinted, and Fredrick smiled excitedly as he fell into step with his suited-up mare.

Now he really felt underdressed.

Still, his response was laced with a mix of humor, sarcasm, and a healthy amount of truth:

“Like I’d never come out for you? Pshh… even if I didn’t, you’d’ve probably sent like, an entire fireteam to blow down my door or some shit, anyway,” he said.

Stella attempted to take her spot glued right to his hip with his arm around her waist, and Fredrick was more than happy as ever to receive her. However, in a flash of quick thinking, he realized that her leg rubbing up against his shorts would likely trigger a reaction in the form of ‘oi what’s in yer pocket—already horny tae see me?’ or something along those lines. He couldn’t risk blowing it after he had come so far already.

So, in some quick sleight-of-body, he instead pulled Stella’s skirt-and-slacks-clad butt right into his crotch, and duly wrapped his hands around her midsection—a much more intimate embrace, and one that Stella absolutely adored.

Her reaction was immediate, and she angled her face back up at him with her slyest, yet dreamiest smirk:

“Oooooh~, already getting’ ahead of ourselves? Keep holdin’ me like that and we’d have tae give the troops another show,” she cooed, again snagging her lip with one of her fangs.

That was another thing that Fred had come to admire about her: she never cared about putting up a façade in front of the rest of the Guard. Her skill and presence, quite honestly, spoke for itself, and Fredrick was always thrilled that Stella had the confidence to wordlessly assert this fact.

He shot an impish smirk right back at her.

“Hehe, oh don’t you worry, gorgeous… I’ll make sure we save it for later,” he said, and planted a kiss right on the crook of her neck.

If her giggle quickly morphing into an erotic hum was anything to go by, that was certainly to her great pleasure.

He continued to let Stella lead the two of them back to the Battle Circle, and there he could see some form of a commotion going on. The platoon was neatly sat around the perimeter in full PT getup while an easily-recognizable Schneeblume was seemingly squaring off with one of the recruits—Fred couldn’t hear exactly what words were being exchanged.

“How’s your day been, Stella?”

“Eh… administrative. But a lot better since I had tonight tae look forward to! That, and the lass with the ceramic arm always makes things that much more…” she giggled.

“…hilarious.” she added.

Right then, the two arrived at the Battle Circle periphery, and were just in time to witness a smol Schnee completely overpower a stunned recruit and finesse her harshly to the ground. The impact of the poor private threw a small dust cloud in the air, along with eliciting more than a fair share of groans of vicarious pain.

Fredrick was floored the first time he ever bore witness to such a spectacle—and it never lost its luster every time he saw it. There was just… something special about watching an illegally cute mare whom he met as a bubbly girly-girl in a pink summer dress just… shitting on ponies in hand-to-hand combat instruction.

It was further helped when—with the dust having settled—the mare herself was the only one standing in her choice of garb for this special instruction: standard guard camo pants, and a plain-black, sleeveless sport midriff top of sorts… the latter of which was much more form-fitting than the former. It did well to show off her smaller but still-quite-muscular arms and back, even above her prosthetic… same with her toned, battle-hardened abs which held more than a few visible scars—echoes from the War.

Perhaps it had been all his time in essentially living with Stella… but he had grown quite fond of the ponytail getup on mares. Schneeblume wore it fantastically.

And she completed the look marvelously with dust, sweat, and grime accenting her normally pristine, porcelain visage. The cherry on top was a single armband around her left bicep: the insignia of some Lunar Guard rank… something which Fredrick hadn’t seen until today. She wore Equestrian colors well, that was for sure.

Her warrior stance and stare quickly dissipated once the commotion died down, and she offered her hand to the downed recruit.

“You’re too trusting, soldat!” she reprimanded in the sweetest-sounding tone.

She then added while pulling the lunar guardsmare back to her hooves:

“I know from experience that it’s not in your best interest to assume the enemy will show you the same kindnesses and mercies, ja? Now—one more time! Los gehts!”

Fredrick still held Stella in his grasp, just beyond the perimeter of the Circle, and he had her all to himself since she didn’t seem to be actually ‘commanding’ today. But what raised a question in his mind… and temporarily flung the thoughts of his impending actions out of his head, was when he noticed that the usual lieutenant or two was not present.

Oh, and Schnee’s armband.

He craned his mouth towards Stella’s right ear and spoke softly:

“Command seems a little light today…? And when did Schnee start wearing Equestrian insignia?”

Fred felt her angle her face against his, comically brushing her muzzle against his lips but paying the ridiculous look little mind.

“Stolt and Umbra are both on leave, so I’m not really just observin’ today, mate—I’m technically in direct command… which is fine by me!

“Kinda miss waftin’ in the stench of the shit pile, as it were,” she explained cheekily.

She apparently seemed to immediately recall his latter question, and her face shone cutely of a glorious revelation.

“And aye, she is! It was honestly bein’ kind of a fuckin’ pain in the cunt tae keep her clearance active as a contractor. There’s a fuck-me-in-the-arse amount of bureaucracy.”

Fredrick blinked, recoiling lightly.

“Wait, really?!”

Stella offered an empathetic nod with pursed lips.

“Aye. Nothin’ Luna can really do either since these checks and regulations were enacted by Parliament fer the safety of Their Highnesses. Can’t overturn ‘em with royal decrees.

“SO,” Stella continued. “After a wee chat with Luna and gettin’ Schnee’s okay, she’s officially a Special Forces Auxiliary of the Royal Lunar Guard!”

Fredrick smiled widely.

“No fuckin’ shit!”

“Aye! Right?? Her official capacity clears an anal cum load of fuckin’ red tape off me plate, and she gets paid more!”

“What’s her rank?”

“Officially, Warrant Officer. But I made sure she knows good and well that she has me authority by proxy,” said Stella, winking back at Fredrick and chuckling.

“Oh yeah? And how’s that working out?”

“Fuckin’ wonderfully! Which is why I say I’m in technical direct command today. In reality, mate? Schnee’s got it handled,” Stella exclaimed, and then added with faux disappointment:

“She’s just too soft on the recruits sometimes.”

Literally on cue, Schneeblume blocked two expertly thrown punches to her face, and then completely sidestepped what would’ve been a punishing side kick… only to take the poor recruit off her supporting hoof entirely. She hit the ground back-first, and Schnee culminated it by driving her ceramic fist into the mare’s vulnerable abs, as if she was trying to punch the ground through her.

Fredrick flinched in vicarious pain—so did everyone else, with another fresh round of ‘oooooohs’—as the young batpony mare emitted a guttural, pained whine. Her entire body had jack-knifed at the impact point of Schnee’s fist.

Fred watched her double over in fetal position onto her side, eyes wide, mouth like a fish out of water as she was struggling to get air back into her evacuated lungs.

Schneeblume stood up tall and flexed the digits on her prosthetic.

“Better! But again, you pay the price for your overextension,” she noted.

Fredrick shook his head once and blinked.

“That’s being too soft on the recruits?!” he dared to confirm with Stella in his grasp.

To him, it seemed that maybe she was coming around to his view of it all, but quickly added with a knowing, devious smirk:

“Well, it’s a good learnin’ experience then, innit? She won’t make that same mistake again!” she declared.

She then unashamedly dragged her tongue all the way up from his chin to his eyeball… a gesture that he never truly got used to even when she did it to him on their first date night. Still, even if the side of his face got wet, warm, (and then suddenly cold) for a little while, it didn’t bother him much. It was one of the many ways that Stella validated her feelings for him.

Or she just likes the way I taste. Shit man, I don’t know…

But beyond that, Stella did do well to mention one thing to Schnee on behalf of Fredrick:

“Oi Warrant Officer? Please try tae keep these queef bubbles as un-popped as possible if ye much don’t mind?” she quipped, followed by some giggles and chortles from the crowd.

Schnee helped the downed recruit back to her hooves and shot a knowing smirk right back at Stella.

“Ja, Captain… but no guarantees~,” she added with a playful wink and an open-mouthed smile.

Schnee then instantly flipped her stoic visage back on and re-addressed the troops:

“Sehr gut! Thank you to those who volunteered… or who were voluntold, rather. Now, I think it’s time we all take a nice march up to the plateau of the mountain, ja? We’ll call it a day after that,” she so excitedly ‘suggested.’

At those words, Fredrick felt a disturbance in the Force… and by the ‘Force,’ he meant Stella trying to sneakily shift something around in her pocket. Really, this was worth little in the grand scheme of thought process… normally. But these were not normal times. Fredrick had a pretty goddamn good idea what the hell was in there, and it wasn’t a knife or a cock.

In his current predicament, he was in no position to just whip it out, as it were… at least without an immediate reaction from Stella. He shifted his eyes from side-to-side, trying to jog his brain for a quick answer.

But apparently, the universe had one for him when a familiar Slavic-esque voice suddenly made known its allure:

“My sincerest apologies for the intrusion, Captain Sabre,” said Midnight as she emerged from the stairs behind Fredrick.

At her first greeting, both he and Stella peeked over their shoulders, and then separated entirely with identical levels of surprise when they noticed what she was wearing: a sleeveless, legless, form-fitting, black leotard of sorts that left so much yet so little to the imagination. The ever-confident, absolute unit of a mare sauntered up to the odd couple, and her odd but no less ‘physically unwelcome’ entrance into the figurative fray drew more than a passing glance from all in attendance.

Fredrick smirked at Midnight from behind Stella’s back—the mare had come through brilliantly, and right in the nick of time.

Stella answered her entrance with a cocky, yet friendly challenging smile that she was known for:

“Midnight! Fancy seein’ you around ‘ere… and around this time. This ain’t exactly the place tae seduce impressionable university students, just so yer aware, lass.”

Midnight giggled, and then added with the most infuriating ‘I know something that you don’t’ tone of voice:

“Oh I’m aware of that—I’m off duty now, and got wind that your fine mares and stallions in uniform were getting some… close and personal instruction! So I was wondering if I could get a quick round in with the cute one…” she pointed right at a curious Schnee.

“…right in there, before everypony goes on their merry way,” she finished her implicit question.

Fredrick was… impressed to say the least. That would certainly be one way to keep Stella’s attention so he could get the drop on her, as well as providing what would be legendary entertainment value to boot. But of course, the ultimate decision on that rested with Stella, and Fredrick glanced at her to see what she’d say… as if he was expecting her to surprise him or something.

But nope. Stella cackled.

“HAH! Well… I’m fine with that! Fuck me, I encourage a proper, professional showing!” she said, and then swiveled on her hooves while she gestured to Schnee:

“Buuuuut I think that’s up to Warrant Officer Herbslicht if she agrees tae yer little… fisting session~.”

Fredrick had to stymie some genuine laughter at that, and it died in his throat in a half-chortle. For all intents and purposes, a fight of any kind could be technically referred to as ‘fisting.’

Random ruminations aside, Stella’s attention was drawn away from Midnight just long enough for Fredrick to witness the copper-coated mare wink at him knowingly.

And before he could even process that, a joking scoff sounded from behind him, and in so confirming, he found an excitably incredulous Schnee. She had cocked her hip, ceramic hand atop it and all.

HNNNNNG!

She answered Stella, making exactly zero attempt to hide any goading undertones in her words:

“I’m quite alright with that, Captain! In fact, I think this would prove a valuable lesson on how to effectively dispatch adversaries of significantly different size!” she excitedly bounced once on her hooves.

Said challenging undertones were not lost on anyone present—even Stella was impressed.

“Fuckin’ hell, lass… Righteo then!” she said and turned back to Midnight.

“There’s yer answer! So what’re ye waitin’ fer, mate? Get the fuck in there!” she ordered.

“Don’t mind if I do~.”

Midnight held her head high and sauntered—purposeful emphasis on the sashaying of her hips—past both Stella and Fredrick, and she placed her hand on his shoulder as she brushed on by.

It was the littlest, most silent reassurances that were sometimes the most effective, Fredrick felt.

And as he turned to face the Battle Circle, he was greeted with Midnight’s ass nearly on full display through the taut bottom part of her rather… interesting choice of training attire. And he sure as hell wasn’t the only one who noticed this: mares and stallions of Luna’s Finest, all of whom likely had diverse sexual preferences, took immediate notice much like him.

Fredrick, hilariously, also heard exactly what he was thinking come from the love of his life right next to him:

“Fuuuuuuck’s sake, mate… I’mma need tae bring her arse around more often… literally.”

Fredrick snickered.

“I’d expect no less from you, Stella! And sheesh… I sure as hell wouldn’t complain,” he noted.

Fredrick let her lean up against him (again, careful of the dagger right in his pocket), and she placed her arm on his shoulder whilst shaking her head.

She lamented:

“Some mares were just born tae be goddamn eye-candy, I’ll fuckin’ tell ye.”

Fredrick raised both his eyebrows and leveled a cheeky smirk at her.

“Oh yeah? Remind you of somepony?” he quipped, winking.

That earned him a girly giggle and a fist to his shoulder for his efforts, but her verbal answer was something he had come to expect:

“You fuckin’ know it, love! Had tae get ye tae stick around somehow!” she punctuated with a fang-baring smile, and then licked his cheek… again.

Fredrick had to resist… especially with just how she purred at the end of her words. He had an open invitation that, under normal circumstances, he was more than keen on acting upon: to grab that perfect ass of hers. But goddamnit that would only lead to a further, sexier escalation between the two of them.

Of course that would be most welcome… but then the likelihood of her discovering both items in his pockets was significantly higher.

Even then, Fred couldn’t just do nothing. Stella would suspect something was wrong in that case, and the whole scheme would be blown wide open. After firing some quick synapses, Fredrick settled on reciprocating her gesture: he drew a sensual lick up her cheek, and then cutely ‘munched’ on that iconic tuft atop her ear with pursed lips.

He apparently chose well, because that earned him that uber-jovial, feminine squeal that always had a habit of melting his heart like a glacier in the summer.

Thankfully, from there, she just leaned into him lovingly, and the two of them were able to gaze upon the show that was gonna draw everyone’s attention for a few minutes. And with that extra breathing room, Fred began to shift things sneakily around in his pockets, while keeping his eyes on the display in front of them.

Further ahead, Midnight brushed passed a few awestricken recruits and met Schneeblume in the center, her ever-cocky gaze glued to her face and refusing to abate. Even more than that, she quite noticeably eyed the smaller Schnee up and down, lasciviously tracing her features as if committing them all to memory.

All the while, she circled the war veteran mare as a gorgeous shark would her prey… not that the Schnee seemed any bit fazed by this development.

Midnight bore her teeth invitingly.

“Nice outfit!” Midnight complimented, stopping her ‘circle’ right back where she started in front of Schnee.

She further stretched out her arms and legs in various poses, leaving even less to the impromptu audience’s collective imagination. She then smirked teasingly once she sufficiently rooted out any tightness in her muscles.

“You pull it off well, little flower.”

Schneeblume seemed to show no qualm with both giggling and lightly blushing at those words.

“If you think flattery will get you mercy, you’re a bit mistaken, Mitternacht,” she quipped right back.

Midnight giggled right back at her and descended into a fighting stance… which was a marvel to look at regardless, based on sheer attire alone.

“Sounds like the language of love to me~. Why don’t you show everypony the real stormtrooper inside you! Bare those fangs!” she said with a wink, ready to go.

“I don’t have any.”

“Hehe, oh I beg to differ~.”

Schnee lowered her eyelids, and then addressed everypony around her:

“Recruits! Remember what I’ve said earlier: size only matters so much… in combat,” she warned, and then descended into her own fighting stance that was much more familiar to those already having been observing.

Stella emitted an excited squee right next to Fredrick, and he watched her bounce on her hooves for a moment like an overwound toy sprinkled with the finest crack-cocaine.

“This shit’s gonna be fuckin’ great!” she said.

Fredrick laughed at her display—her cuteness overload was always welcome. Nothing said ‘proposal night’ much like getting a cute-induced stroke and needing a bag of water shoved up his ass or something. He was no doctor.

“Wait… you’re saying you’re actually okay with two of your friends just kicking the shit out of each other within an inch of their life?” he dared ask.

And to that, she nodded pointedly, and then stared at him like he was the weird one.

“What, like you wouldn’t? Besides, it won’t be an ‘inch.’ Maybe a meter?”

He thought about that for a moment, and came to the swift conclusion that, yes, he would do exactly that if he had all of his original best friends from back on Earth.

“Ehhh, yeah, you’re probably right. So who’s your money on?” he also dared to ask.

And that, apparently, seemed to be a more profound question than Fredrick would’ve thought, especially as he saw the two elite soldiers begin circling each other. They were judging one another… eyeing each other up and peering into their on-display forms for any opening.

Or, so it seemed. He had no idea what was going on in their respective heads.

“That’s… kinda hard tae answer, mate,” began Stella.

“Schnee’s actually been in active combat fer almost half a decade. She could probably kill me in forty different ways with a single finger up me cum goblet. So I’d pick her without a second thought, well, except…” she then gestured towards the squaring-off pair.

“Fuckin’ Midnight. She’s got like, more than a fuckin’ foot on the porcelain lass, not tae mention the extra muscle mass from her just bein’ built like the fuckin… sexiest, still-somewhat-hourglass-shaped, brick shithouse known tae all of Equinedom,” she further reasoned.

And then she shrugged, looking up at Fredrick with genuine unknowing in her eyes.

“So really… this could go either way, and it’s one of those fights that, no matter how this shit goes, I wouldn’t really be surprised because I could fuckin’ explain it one way or another, y’know?”

Fredrick was impressed. Really impressed at those words.

I’m amazed at her doctrine.

“I think that’s the most detailed analysis on anything that I’ve ever heard come outta your mouth so… fucking bravo, heh,” he joked.

He then nudged her against the shoulder and leveled a rather exaggerated kiss on her cheek, which elicited, again, a cute giggle from the suited-up batpony mare. She quickly turned her face to him and put her lips in the line of fire instead. Fredrick was more than okay with that substitution.

They broke off their kiss with one another and shared a couple-second, loving stare, along with Fredrick almost getting another love-aneurism when Stella beamed widely.

And then she so cutely riposted:

“Fuck off.”

Their conversation was immediately interrupted when the rumble had apparently started in earnest: Midnight advanced quite quickly against Schnee, arms and hands at the ready to seemingly grapple the Alemaneian mare to the ground. That, or grope the shit out of her… honestly, Fredrick wouldn’t have been exactly surprised with either of those outcomes.

What was surprising was with how much alacrity that Schneeblume ‘accepted’ the invitation to open combat: she utilized her smaller, lither form to her complete advantage.

With a bright smile and the cutest grunt of exertion, she bounded just outside of Midnight’s reach, coming to rest in a three-pointed stance after her graceful exit from the firing line. Her eyes never seemed to pull away from her target.

Once again, Midnight advanced on her… though much faster this time around. She shook things up a bit by using her momentum to throw a probing, yet deadly-fast wheel-kick in Schnee’s direction… which the mare in question quickly dashed out of range of what would have been quite the punishing hit.

Immediately after though, Midnight further closed the distance with an almost inappropriately lecherous smile and attempted to get her hands on the mare.

Again, Schnee did not see it fit to strike back—Midnight was still playing too defensively it seemed, and the ex-assault trooper bounded out of Midnight’s reach, both literally and metaphorically. This time, to avoid stepping out of the Battle Circle Perimeter and forfeiting the fight, she entered into a what Fredrick would generically call a ‘combat roll’ and got back to her hooves in her initial fighting stance.

So… is this how it was gonna be?

To Fredrick, it seemed like the fight was already shaping up to be a stalemate. Midnight was clearly trying to use her larger build to finesse Schnee into an unbreakable hold or land an earth-cracking target combination form to end the fight at an instant. Schnee was significantly harder to read, as she had not even attempted to strike back, and only kept her distance. She was the wildest card here…

So much so that even Fredrick was on the edge of his seat… he normally would be, but he had to check himself, and not lose sight of what the original goal of all of ‘this’ was: to beat Stella at her own game.

With Midnight and Schnee having now taken over the complete attention of everyone else, all that remained was for the two of them to really get going in… whatever the endgame of this session was. Once he could make sure that Stella’s attention was completely captured to the point where he could sneakily step behind her without drawing her attention, then he’d be in the perfect position to drop to his knee.

Fred decided that the ring would be most appropriate first… then the dagger for some extra bit of surprise.

Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.

The murmurs from the audience increased further as the exciting tension ran high… but still, infuriatingly, Schnee refused to commit to an attack. Occasionally she’d advance on Midnight, but she would wisely pull off when Middy would lift a powerful leg or bring her fists to bear.

Fredrick was confused—he expected Schnee in all her glory to like, pull a spade out of her ass and start clobbering Midnight to death with it. Of course, that was ridiculous… but as a soldier class who specialized purely in offensive, lightning-quick, decisive, and deadly strikes, Schnee was not exactly living up to that name. Then again, Fredrick also understood that he knew absolutely jack shit about actual combat and had he been in her place right now, he would’ve probably had his head crushed like a watermelon between Midnight’s thighs.

There were worse ways to die in battle, he surmised.

Schneeblume danced towards the center of the circle again, just out of Middy’s reach like the last few times… and when the larger mare advanced on her once more. To everyone’s shock and possible horror, Schnee did not retreat, and instead held fast.

Midnight struck just as she closed the remaining distance, and threw what looked like a perfect, fast, deadly-accurate reverse with her right fist. Her target: Schnee’s muzzle. Everypony, including Fredrick and his marefriend next to him, gasped and called out when it appeared Schnee wasn’t doing a goddamn thing about it.

Fred watched as Schnee dodged to her right. But in so doing, she brushed off Midnight’s attack with her right, ceramic hand, redirecting it as far away from her face as possible and catching the mare by the forearm. As quickly as she dodged and parried, she countered, and used the same hand to acquaint the back of her knuckles with Midnight’s cheek, effectively backhanding the taller mare.

Though the strike likely carried literal weight behind it, owed to the choice in material of Schnee’s prosthetic, Midnight’s eyes widened, and she gasped more in line with being stunned or startled by the sudden counter. Schnee pressed her advantage, and closed into Midnight’s guard entirely, jamming her shoulder into the batpony’s diaphragm in a harsh body check.

That definitely granted her some space.

Schneeblume sprang into action to instantly consolidate her gains and follow up on her attack… but to the shock of everyone, Midnight thrust forward her palm just in time and caught the smaller mare right on her forehead. For a split second, Schnee tried to swing at her adversary, but was being held at arm’s length, just out of reach by sheer size disparity… like an older sister would her younger.

Fredrick had to stop himself from losing his shit at the sudden sight.

Then again, this was also a friendly match, so he couldn’t really tell how much the two of them were holding back—he would wager ‘a lot.’ A shame, considering he wanted to see some proper power levels, but good because he didn’t want to see anypony get seriously hurt.

As soon as Schnee’s face was caught in the vice of Midnight’s hand, she released herself by damn-near looking like she crushed the offending wrist. In one fell swoop thereafter, she contorted Middy’s whole damn arm at an extremely awkward and painful angle towards the floor, much to a rather verbal confirmation of such by the taller batpony. Such an angle forced Midnight into an equally awkward leaning position for the ‘split-est of seconds’, but that’s all Schnee needed. At least, that’s all she needed to acquaint Midnight’s neck and chin with her right shin.

And that earned some a synchronized, pained ‘OOOOOOH!’ from the congregation.

Midnight clearly saw stars for a moment. Everyone heard the impact.

Again, Fredrick found himself enraptured. He wanted to get the most front-row seat with Stella and start cheering on the fight… much like Stella was right next to him.

“AYE! There we go! Give ‘er another one, lass!” she encouraged.

But he had to yank himself back to his original purpose once more. He had to remind himself what he was fighting for, for fuck’s sake! Midnight was giving him the grandest of openings right now… she was sacrificing bodily integrity to Schnee, so Stella wouldn’t beat him to the punch in proposing to him! He couldn’t, in any good conscience, let that sacrifice be in vain!

So while he, too, cheered alongside Stella to at least appear inconspicuous… he became hyper aware of what he had to do: all he had to do was back off a couple steps, pull the ring box from his pocket, and then get down on one knee—all without Stella catching him in the act, or beating him to the punch.

It had to be quick. It had to be decisive. But most important of all, Stella shouldn’t ‘discover’ his antics until the box was open.

And that felt a lot easier thought, than done.

The moment Schnee’s leg connected with Midnight’s pretty face, along with a grandiose flailing of Stella’s arms and a verbal encouragement to boot, Fredrick thought that he could just start stepping back now. He moved to do so…

…and then Stella immediately latched on to his arm with the giddy, borderline outlandish excitedness of a sixteen-year-old girl at a KPOP concert trying to tell you the difference between all the bands when in reality they all had an identical goddamn aesthetic.

“Fuck me mate, this is gettin’ intense!” she exclaimed while clutching his arm and fidgeting on her hooves.

She held him right where he was.

Trapped.

Fredrick rolled his eyes and bit the inside of his lip, his stress levels having risen so fast and hard, he thought he was gonna have to give a name to the aneurism on his aorta.

FUCK.

Fredrick rubbed Stella’s arm to save face. His entire body fidgeted through sheer adrenaline and impatience like Michael J. Fox on a washing machine. He was genuinely excited about the scene… but it was all mixed in with a healthy bit of nervousness in that he may actually fail in his quest and have nothing to show for Midnight’s seemingly caved-in neck.

I’m not losing this race.

Fredrick just needed to be a little more patient… and then feign an excuse (if Stella did not let him go on her own accord) to take a step back. That, or he was going to have to settle for a less glamorous way, and just brute force this proposal… but damnit he was gonna win this!

After Midnight took Schnee’s shin to her neck and chin, she quickly recovered.

With, again, a dexterity for her size that surprised everyone present, she used her free hand to grip Schnee’s own wrist—the one that had so maneuvered her into such a vulnerable position. She reversed the hold entirely, twirling Schnee as she was her partner in a swing dance… and then straight-up kicked both her legs out from under her. Schnee impacted with all the kinetic force of a half-cartwheel, borne to the earth by virtue of gravity at that point.

Everyone groaned when they saw (and heard) the meteoric impact that would’ve completely leveled and knocked out a lesser pony. Schnee was not a lesser pony in any respect, and as quickly as she was forced to Prench-kiss the dirt, she rolled away and quickly put distance between her and Midnight once again.

Her pristine coat was much dirtier now, and she groaned in some measure of pain as she stretched out her back. Midnight also looked to be gaining a few streaks of dust and dirt on her, especially her arms and face.

Schnee appeared to harbor no ill will for that punishing strike, either… and beamed as the two opponents began circling each other once more:

“Very nice, that hit!” she turned to quickly spare a passing glance at the recruits watching.

“Take notice, soldaten… one moment of bad judgement, weakness, or distraction is all it takes to literally be put on your face!” she cautioned.

Midnight giggled right back, and then followed up with that extra, dripping accent to her tone that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else but flirtatious and challenging:

“I’ll say!” she commented. “Good kick, yourself! If I was tired after my shift, you definitely woke me up! But is that really what the best of Alemaneia has to offer?”

And Schnee seemed to gladly take the bait.

“Oh that’s what you want, ja? Then how about we get you some more caffeine?” she said, then promptly went on a lightning offensive.

The only difference this time was that she didn’t come out swinging per se.

On her way to close the distance between her and Midnight, she dipped low, scooped up some dirt from the ground, and then used the momentum she created in her sprint to hurl said pile of dirt at her adversary. Midnight’s face caught the brunt of the surprise present, her hands immediately attempting to shield her face, as well as to quickly wipe away anything that stuck.

True to Schnee’s nature as an assault trooper, she granted her enemy no respite.

The whole gesture, however, earned more than a vocal reaction from the crowd. Stella especially seemed completely beside herself like an overenthusiastic sports fan.

“HOLY SHIT! She fuckin’ pegged that cunt right in the face, lad!” Stella exclaimed, squeezing Fredrick’s bicep into a pulp as she quivered excitedly in her hooves.

Thankfully though, she let him go so she could stretch out to get a better look, though Fredrick still snorted at her phrasing.

“Uhhh… babe I’m not sure that’s the umm… word I’d use to describe what we’d just witnessed…” he noted.

But that’s when he also noted in full: Stella had let go of him, and in fact, stepped forward to grab herself a better look at the brawl that was unfolding in front of their eyes. Further pressing him for time right in the moment was when Stella slipped her hand in her right pocket again… and began to idly fondle something in a way that was foreign to Fredrick. She never had any tick like that, even when she was fully dressed up in clothes that had usable pockets.

Stella then said with a rather ‘loving’ tone, not even bothering to look back at him or flash him a toothy grin that he could hear:

“I’ll peg you, cunt~!”

She was completely enamored—starry-eyed—by Schnee and Midnight wailing on each other. Fredrick tested this theory as he scooted back farther, to see if she would notice, while he flatly responded:

“Oh ho, yo ho—you most certainly will not!”

Stella chuckled… but didn’t turn back to look at him. Her fists were balled in front of her chest, punching idly into the air as if she was controlling one of the two combatants with her mind.

This gave Fredrick the opening he needed to take a big step back. This was it, in his mind. His heart was beating like mad, rattling his cage like a meth-head gorilla, and adrenaline was beginning to course through his body as the weight of what he was about to do was now really bearing down on him.

He was a full three feet behind her, with a glorious view of an equally glorious backside. Stella did not make any indication she saw him take such an unusual step away from her side, or if she did, she certainly didn’t care… which would’ve been odd in its own right.

Fredrick was in the clear. He could only assume Stella was also searching for the right moment to ‘whip it out,’ as it were, but was sidetracked by an oh-so obviously not orchestrated friendly match. Indeed, after a couple more agonizing seconds to be extra sure, Stella never tore her gaze away from the two mutual friends whom were engaged in an admittedly entertaining death-battle for bragging rights of sorts…

…though really only one of them was knowingly making the sacrifice to buy Fred time.

It was now or never.

With time seemingly slowing down just a smidge, Fredrick thrust his hand into the pocket of his shorts and found he velvety ring box. He turned it over in his hand once, pursed his lips…

…and then unholstered it entirely.

Slowly, he kneeled onto his right knee. As Stella’s back remained diligently turned to him, he opened the ring box, revealing the ring in what light remained of the waning day. Fred took a deep, prideful, but shaky breath as he just held that position for what seemed like a small eternity. Stella wasn’t noticing him in the slightest… just as fucking keikaku’d.

And just like he fully expected, he was spotted… by one of the recruits who occasionally turned around to regard their Captain with humor at her antics. The first one did an immediate double… no, triple take to confirm she was actually seeing this shit.

Like a cascading domino effect, Fred saw that one recruit emphatically, excitedly, tap the shoulder of another to point out his rather obvious and recognizable act. And that second guard drew further attention… and then the murmuring started.

More and more eyes turned away from the brutal, intense, and partially erotic display of two elite soldier mares duking it out ‘purely for education.’

And with every single face that turned… all of them were in some way beaming widely at the display. As expected for Fredrick, and after what seemed like another small lifetime passing on by, the sudden, collective attention to something right behind Stella drew their Captain’s attention.

“YEAH! Hit he—eeeeh? What the fuck ‘re you all lookin’ at? The fuckin’ Bum Rape Dwarf better be right behind—”

Fredrick watched Stella stop mid-turn when she realized that he was, in fact, no longer right next to her. A split second later, after she blinked hard in surprise, she noticed him and stared right back down at him.

She then glanced at the open ring-box in his hand… and then right at him.

Her eyes went wide. Wider than at any moment he had ever once seen her. Her waning breath finished her sentence:

“—me…”

And perhaps in not keeping with tradition in the slightest, Fredrick opened with the smuggest anime face he had in his arsenal, channeled his inner Dave Chappelle, and simply said:

“GOTCHA, BITCH!”

The audience no longer cared about the fight… in fact, once Midnight got wind what was happening, she silently got Schnee to stop the brawl, and directed her to the scene. The excited, beaming squee that came from the shorter mare’s mouth had world-ending capabilities.

None of that mattered though. All eyes were on the couple, especially as—for the few seconds they seemed frozen in place—Stella stared right at the ring that was, in turn, staring back at her.

Said ring was one that Fredrick had partially custom-made. That is, he found a design he loved, but wanted some modifications to it. The band itself was this muted silver color, reminiscent of the hull of a warship, but much shinier. This was, apparently, a ‘moonstone infused, magically forged steel alloy.’ All he needed to know was that it would last forever.

Stella’s wide eyes also reflected the light that glinted off the three stones in the center: A rhomboid-cut, deep blue, quite prominent sapphire… flanked by a pair of slightly smaller, circular-cut, golden yellow sapphires.

Though initially visibly stunned, Stella’s face morphed into something rather unexpected for the recruits watching their Captain get proposed to… but in a manner that Fredrick completely anticipated:

She started smiling… and then giggling…

…and she grabbed her stomach as she cackled into the air. Fredrick nearly lost his shit when, glancing just past her, he found all the soldiers—including Midnight and Schnee—seemingly horrified and conflicted. They thought she was laughing at him! Rejecting him!

No, he definitely knew better than that. And his expectations were proven correct when she snapped right out of it.

“FUCK!” she suddenly exclaimed, startling everyone but Fredrick. “Are you FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME, LAD!” she yelled.

“I had this shit aaaaall planned out from the beginnin’! But nooOOOooo… you fuckin’ knew, didn’t ya??” she continued to jokingly admonish him, and pointed her famous, right index finger at him.

“You KNEW, ya cock!”

Fredrick’s bright smile never abated… and he started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. Their dynamic was on full display, and for the uninitiated, this appeared to be going quite poorly for him. Quite the contrary in his heart and mind, though—this was the greatest possible reaction he could’ve ever hoped for.

And Stella’s even-more luminous, beaming face belied her lambasting, if the subtle, humorous inflections in her tone didn’t give it away to everyone present.

Fredrick shrugged.

“I put two and two together, really. I wasn’t gonna let you win this one,” he said, winking, which earned him a ‘disapproving’ look from Stella.

She still smiled through her pursed lips while she shook her head, seemingly disappointed in herself.

While Fred would love to banter and trade sarcastic veils for eternity with his mare, he figured at least now was the appropriate time to pursue formalities. He felt his features become much softer… more wholesome. His heart continued to pound in his chest:

“But on that note, Stella…” he began.

He then took one last, deep breath before he uttered his next words:

“Will you marry me… slag?”

While the first part of his fateful question put everypony on the figurative edges of their seats, it was the last part of that question that set Stella off.

She launched into a hard, proper guffaw. But it looked like she was doing her damn best to her outburst to a minimum. Even the mighty Stella Sabre did not appear to be immune to the raw feeling and wholesomeness of the moment.

Stella audibly sighed and placed her hands on her hips while reflecting Fredrick’s warm smile. She then held out her right index finger.

“On one condition, love,” she led on.

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow. He only felt a vague idea reverberate around in his bones as to where this was going. Even on his fateful knee, his mare was still unpredictable.

“And what condition would that be, my dear?” he dared ask.

And to that, Stella smiled that infuriatingly cocky Stella Smile™, reached into her own pocket, and then dropped to her own knee right in front of him. Now at eye-level with her, she held up an open ring box right next to his own.

“Only if you’ll marry me, ya cunt!” she declared.

The entire group of ponies erupted at the display. While the official answers hadn’t been proclaimed, they were trivial at this point… and everyone present seemed fit to conjure up rapturous cheering and applause.

As for Fredrick, somehow, he knew this was where it would lead when he decided to preempt Stella’s alleged proposal plans. It hurt to smile as he stared into Stella’s golden eyes, and he couldn’t not spare a look at what she cradled in her own, slightly different ring box:

A rather simple, onyx-black band that held a thin, beautifully golden cursive engraving on the outer, flat edge that he couldn’t quite read at the moment.

It was simple. It was to the point.

It was perfect.

He smiled brightly and, after jokingly ruminating over Stella’s ‘offer,’ he nodded once with the most conviction of anything he felt in his life.

“Fuck. Yes.”

Stella’s face exploded in a smile, and she gladly made her answer known:

“Fuck. YES!”

And with that, Fredrick did not hesitate to remove the ring from his box. Once Stella graciously held her left hand out for him, he tenderly slid the band down to the base of her ring finger. It was a perfect fit. It was the reverse process for him, and once Stella secured the ring to the base of his finger, something seemed to just… click into place.

He even got the chance to read the golden inscription on his ring now, and he had to quickly check himself before he lost himself when he read the words ‘The Brightest Star of my Night.’

It felt… correct.

“I love you, Stella,” said Fredrick.

Stella bit her lip, but her dimples were ever present as she smiled right back.

“I love you, Fredrick.”

Fredrick then stood up, and offered Stella his hand, to which she graciously accepted. Once both were back on their respective feet and hooves, Fredrick watched to his absolute heart-melting amusement when his now fiancé gave into all her pent-up, childish urges:

She turned to everypony else… and danced all giddily on her hooves, squealing through the brightest smile that reflected all the dusk light. As if she could somehow be any cuter, she started giggling victoriously and thrusting her ‘claimed’ fist into the air… all to a sonorous sea of cheers, hoots, and whistles from the new recruits plus Midnight and Schnee. The latter two were also bouncing excitedly, along with one of them screaming ‘IT’S ABOUT TIME!’

The two even broke ranks and jogged right up to her so they could see her ‘fully-equipped’ hand in all its glory.

Fred’s chest felt broader than it was, his core was light… hell, Fred’s heart was on the clouds right now. It all seemed so goddamn surreal. He did it! No… they did it! But he didn’t have the time to celebrate just yet. With Stella’s back turned to him while she did the cutest shimmy, he was presented with the golden opportunity to spring the real surprise on her.

And he figured, as he once again replenished his smugness, that now was the right time to channel his inner Steve Jobs for the opener:

“Oh! By the way, babe? There’s one more thing,” he began.

He watched as she peeked over her shoulder, and then faced him in full, smiling peacefully at him… seemingly like she couldn’t possibly be any happier.

“Aye? What is it, Fred?” she asked.

He smirked.

Show time.

As if some of the holiest, most Scottish-sounding ceremonial soundtrack began playing in his head, Fredrick reached into his other pocket. Once his palm touched the leathery grip of the dagger, he knew there was no turning back now. He took yet another deep, fateful breath…

… and then he pulled it out of his pocket.

All the while, he never broke his determined, prideful, yet smug eyes from Stella’s. At the same time, he recalled the very detailed notes that Schiavona left for him on how to properly initiate the ‘Sheathing the Blade’ ritual.

With those instructions in mind, he gripped the handle, and then the tip of the sheath, and held the completed package in front of his chest with both his arms extended towards Stella. He was very careful to make sure one end of the crossguard was pointed toward the sky, and the other to the ground.

Her reaction was instantaneous. Her eyes widened again—her mouth was slowly borne to the earth. There were more than a few scattered gasps from the group of recruits behind her… Fredrick figured they were of Northern descent as well and comprehended the significance of what he was doing right now. Midnight looked on with pride, and Schnee with morbid curiosity.

And, frozen in unadulterated shock, Stella only muttered with the shakiest tone in which she failed to hide the sudden, very-obvious influx of powerful emotions within her:

“What the fuck are you doing…?”

Fredrick treated her question as token and rhetorical, and pulled the sheath and dagger apart, so his arms were parallel to one another. Then, in continuing the choreographed movements that he had practiced, he rotated his fists upwards ninety degrees.

“Y-You fuckin’ knobhead, you fucking didn’t…”

Fred cleared his throat:

“With this sheath and dagger, I kneel at your hooves,” he recited, and got right back down on one knee.

Stella’s emotion-laden reply was immediate:

“O-Oh fuck me, you actually did…” she seemed to breathily catch herself.

She covered her muzzle with her right hand in a desperate effort to stem the tide of any further emotional welling. She sniffled harshly. Her eyes suddenly and heavily misted over.

“Our hearts have been intertwined since our deepest admissions…” said Fredrick.

“Y-Y-You fuckin’…” she sniffled again. “…d-dickhead…” she then blinked an obvious wetness from her eyes, shaking her head.

“And with this dagger and its sheath, I offer to you my very soul…” he said just before carefully manipulating both items his hands.

The hilt of the weapon was now pointed towards Stella—same with the barren opening of the sheath. He gently thrust his arms out in offering.

Stella cracked further, the first rivulets of hot tears marring her beautiful face.

“Y-You fuckin’ cunt…” she sniffled. “You a-absolute cretin…”

“And with my very soul, in pony or in spirit, I swear to you I will be your shield, and I will be your sword…”

Stella didn’t have anything else to say and continued to death-grip her muzzle as if it would stop the inevitable. Her golden pools betrayed her attempted composure—completely reddened and overflowing like a fracturing dam.

She nodded vehemently.

And Fred finally bowed his head, looking towards the ground.

“Will you allow me to defend your pony and honor… as your husband, as you would be my wife?”

Fredrick looked up and found Stella had now placed both her hands around her muzzle, weeping openly into them. He felt like the luckiest man alive when she dropped her hands, and revealed her pearly whites smiling so profoundly… an open-mouthed smile that seemed to come from the deepest chambers of her heart.

This feeling amplified even more when Stella rushed forward, picked up both blade and sheath, and slammed them together fatefully, joining them once more.

“YES! YES!” she screamed. “TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH AND OUR LIVES, YES!”

Those were the magical words.

With a girlish enthusiasm that Fredrick always felt privileged to witness, she threw both her arms around his neck and pulled him in for the deepest, most meaningful kiss to date. The happiest tears were still running down her soaked face… not that he minded in the slightest.

“I love you!” she cried. “I love you so fuckin’ much ya fuckin’ absolute nutter, ye!”

“I love you too, babe… so much!”

And as the Fredrick brought both of them back to their respective feet and hooves again, the final round of cheers and literal standing ovation was deafening. Once the ascended couple separated, Fredrick watched as Stella pridefully dropped her own sheathed combat knife and then promptly replaced it on her hip with the one Fredrick gave her.

She wore it so well.

His cheeks cried out in pain as it hurt to keep the smile he could not hide from the world as he watched Stella just… revel in her happiness. In the end, that was his only goal when he was forced into this new life. From the moment they became friends, to best friends, to lovers, and now betrothed, her happiness was all that mattered to him. His still fast-beating heart had found a place it could call home, in Stella’s expert hands. And she had done well to help him grow as a person, as displaced as he may have been. The way she made him feel throughout this journey was the ultimate harbinger of what was to come.

It all led to this. And as Stella threw her arms around him again and just… loved him in the moment, Fredrick couldn’t be more over Luna’s moon about that.

Oh yeah… it all came together!

Author's Note

Whew lad! One more to go, guys and gals!

Also in case some didn't see in an earlier blog post, here's Stella in her new non-armored uniform:

31. Union | Part 1 | Gold

Author's Note

Per democracy on a blog post yesterday, the final chapter now becomes two, and the first section is ready to go! I think this is all I can do to it... and if I hold onto it forever because it's not perfect, it'll never be ready.

So... here you go! I hope it's at least a fraction magical for y'all as it was for me writing this. Then, I'll have done my job.

Now excuse me while I finish up part 2 + the epilogue hehe

31. Union | Part 1 | Gold

[Some Time Later…]

His visitor was in some manner expected… yet wholly unexpected at the same time. He knew exactly who it was when he had his back turned, and heard his bedroom doors thrown open unceremoniously with the force of a breaching charge.

Fredrick smirked and swiveled on his dress-shoe-clad heels to face his most-welcome intruder with a sly, angled smile.

“You know we’re not supposed to see each other before the ceremony… apparently. Right?”

All dolled up herself, Stella shrugged.

“Oh, aye… but everypony else can fuckin’ smoke a fuckin’ fat one off me mingelips. If it were up to me, we wouldn’t even have the fuckin’ ceremony in the first place. I’d just skip right tae the celebration!”

Chuckling, Fredrick was quick to point out the rather obvious:

“Hehe don’t lie to me, girl! You wanna have the ceremony. You just don’t wanna deal with the effort to prepare for it, you lazy fuck.”

Stella’s faux pout was one for the ages.

“Mate, how fuckin’ dare ye call me out on me own bullshit while I grace ye with me divine fuckin’ presence?” she then gesticulated to herself marvelously.

“Oh I’m sure not complaining about seeing you.”

“I knew ye wouldn’t object~. So, I buggered off when they went tae grab more makeup. They’ll be comin’ fer me. Sooooooon.”

“Guess we better make the most of it, then!”

Her demeanor was as standard as a test, and her self-confidence and assuredness was as high as your best friend who swore he wasn’t high after a phat fuckin’ boof. Par for the course. Hell, it was these qualities that were somewhere right at the top of the list of things Fredrick found attractive about her.

…aside from dat badonkadonk… and those lovely bat milkers, of course.

But today—as the two held fast and stared at one another from across the room--things were a little different for the two of them. And how Stella presented herself on this visit was something he wished to ingrain onto his mind for the rest of his life.

Because instead of his marefriend booting his bedroom door open to whisk him away on a night adventure full of magic, shenanigans, and wonder…

...there stood before him the very aura of regality. His eyes couldn’t not wander over her form… a form that was encased beautifully—no, molded—within her choice of dress.

Jet-black. That was the first thing that struck him… a blackness so inky it reminded him of the OLED screen on his phone. True to a military fashion, it was long-sleeved, and covered her from her neck down to the ‘robe skirt-like’ bottoms. Said ‘robe skirt’ from her belt-line down, veiled her legs completely as she strode towards him… a black fog rolling, floating over a quiet lake as it meandered towards its final destination.

The lack of any provocative features, like any form of neckline or slits in the thighs—much unlike Stella’s personal style—was more than made up for by the sheer perfection in which the dress hugged all her curves, hills, valleys, and plateaus.

And to top it all off, the black was frosted with gold accents and patterns, from her cufflinks, her collar, horizontal strips across her chest, and the periphery of her skirt. All of this was brought together with pristine, alabaster-white gloves over her hands.

Art by my friend Fubuki!

In comparison to his own rather standard black tuxedo getup with a golden bowtie, this mare put him to shame.

In laser-etching her very appearance onto his brain-matter, he had apparently been forgetting to breathe for the last few seconds, and he exhaled deeply. His heart…

Mah heart… mah soul…

It beat so strongly in his chest. There was literally no better place to lay his gaze upon, and as such, the lightness in his core inflated and ascended him into the stratosphere like a blow-up doll getting raptured by the Lord himself. It was one of the few times where the sheer sight of something nearly made him shed tears of joy.

She was Stella—his marefriend of a little over three years.

His bride-to-be.

With her right in front of him now, he just… admired. His cheeks hurt with how hard he was smiling, his eyes were probably glinting in the early-evening moonlight along with the magical torches that lit his room.

And much like she had always been keen on, she was more than attuned to his staring. She smirked knowingly. Both knew they were having a moment.

Also true to her fashion in being the most confident foray into any situation, she broke their pleasant silence:

“Heh, see somethin’ you like, ya fuckin’ oaf?” she dared ask.

Fredrick shook his head.

“Nope. But I see something I friggin’ love! Like… holy shit, you’re just…”

Fredrick considered himself a smart man—a fairly smart man if he took into account some of his more recent achievements in his postings as a Junior Minister in the Princess’ government. But even with his degree, and his training, and hell… his vocabulary…

...he was coming up empty with words.

But really, said feelings went even deeper than her face, her figure, and her wedding dress.

“You’re so gorgeous, Stella. I…” Fredrick pursed his lips, trying to jog his head for anything else he could say in the moment.

There was nothing else, especially when the rest of his brain was being devoted to keeping his eyes trained right on Stella.

“I got nothing else. You’re just… perfect,” he said.

To Stella’s credit, she returned to him a rather warm smile. Devoid of any chastising that was often elicited by Fredrick’s incessant and targeted compliments.

“You always know what tae say, aye?”

He returned that warm smile happily as Stella spoke once more, and Fredrick only noticed that mischievous spark in her eye when it was too late:

“Even if that’s gay! Fuckin’ GAAAAAAAAAY!” she exclaimed, then exaggeratedly pointed right at his face as if she was uncovering a deep dark secret of his for the entire world to see.

Fredrick pursed his lips, though he found it difficult to not smile at the display.

Ahhh, there it is!

“You know me! Gay for you and you alone! A raging homosexual for that vagina, lemme tell ya,” he joked, earning a giggle from his mare.

Chuckling, he took Stella in his arms and kissed her forehead, then promptly led her out onto the balcony with his arm around her waist. Dressed their best, Fredrick felt there was something… regal about the two of them—all dolled up and waiting for the main event to kick off—standing on a balcony on a castle. That, and it was also an excuse for fresh air.

And to just… exist with one another for a little while.

The gentle breeze of the early twilight air ruffled a few strands of Fred’s combed hair out of place, but that didn’t bother him much. A sideways glance at a rather blissful-looking Stella got a bright smirk outta him when he found her, eyes closed, gentle simper, and enjoying the breeze against her face.

God she’s so perfect.

He cleared his throat lightly.

“You ready for tonight?” he asked.

Stella opened her eyes and gazed back at him. Fredrick saw the last vestiges of the sun’s rays falling on her golden orbs—quickly being replaced by moonlight—and reflecting all the love she had for him.

She nodded once.

“Aye. But fuckin’ hell, love… hard tae believe we’re gettin’ fuckin’ married, innit?” she asked, turning back towards the priceless view before them.

Stella scoffed, a bright smile still on her face as her eyes glinted with the light of an impending innuendo.

“I mean… being bonded tae you under the holiest honors in my culture, and letting ya rawdog me every night? What’s not tae look forward to?” she asked rhetorically.

Fredrick blinked, never feeling his bright features dimming.

“But… I already rawdog you essentially every night!”

Stella turned to him with that knowing, shit-eating smirk on her face.

“Oh aye! Ya do! Hell yeah, motherfucker!”

The two high-fived.

All of that sent them into a combined giggle fit, which ended with Fredrick taking Stella into his arms and resting his head atop hers. He just held her like that, letting the tender, early-evening breeze sway their bodies and their heart’s just a little. It was certainly one way to get his own heart to calm down from all the excitement to come.

After all, tonight wasn’t just the ceremony that officially bound them together. In their dual opinion, that was merely for formalities and to appease Stella’s clan and culture.

The real celebration was technically the ‘after-party,’ which was scheduled to be held right after the ceremonies. While the wedding itself would be held in the throne room per Celestia’s and Luna’s insistence, the after-party—where there would also be a… significantly less-formal exchanging of the vows—would be held in the grand courtyard.

Tonight was gonna be such a blast… the experience of a lifetime. Fredrick could not wait!

He kissed her forehead.

“You know… this is essentially our last hangout as boyfriend and marefriend. Wanna stay here until we need to get to our positions?” he asked.

Stella met his gaze with humor scrawled all over hers.

“That’d be lovely, mate… buuuut like I said before, I technically wasn’t done with my preparation when I headed over here. I snuck away, actually,” she giggled.

Fredrick pursed his lips, holding back the tide of laughter that was born from the James Bond-tier shenanigans she pulled on her family to stealthily slip away. He could feel his eyes widening nonetheless.

Apparently he had already forgotten about that little detail.

“Fucking… you what?” he dared to ask.

Stella continued her cute giggling fit, but brought forth a rather incredulously raised eyebrow.

“Aye! I mean… I already fuckin’ told ye! Even then, how the fuck didn’t ye figure that one out? Have ya seen me eyelashes? I’ve only got mascara on one eye, mate!” she said.

And then she pointed to her left eye which, upon further examination by Fredrick, indeed lacked the thicc-ness of the other. The realization made the dams of his restraint break a little bit as he twittered in his own chuckle fit. Upon looking closer than that, he could see some bit of coloring on her right cheek, but not her left.

“Oh my god you’re not friggin’ joking… you’re literally half-ready right now!”

Stella hissed in laughter through her teeth.

“Right?! So let’s enjoy our our last few moments right now… because they’ll be comin’ fer me real soon like I said, just ye wait!”

Fredrick shook his head, softly laughing the entire time as he pulled Stella into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her fully. He shut his eyes, and pressed his face into the top of her mane—the smell of night lilies tickled his nostrils just the way he liked it, and he had few qualms with taking a much deeper inhale of her fresh scent.

“I love you so much, Stella,” he finally said, and planted a wet one on her forehead.

And from that, he was happy to see that Stella didn’t need artificial blush for her cheeks to color.

“I love you too, Fred… so much more than ye know,” she replied.

Fredrick couldn’t exactly resist much beyond that point, so with gentle encouragement from the side of his index finger, he angled Stella’s chin upward. Smiling warmly at her, he then pressed his lips to hers, and let his arms fall around her once again.

He immediately heard and felt her hum against his lips, and the sudden slack in her posture was all he needed to know that she melted like ice cream in summer. But that was all well and good—he adored Stella when she just… let go once in a while. And that ‘once in a while’ had become much more often ever since that fateful talk about her dream.

And during their silence post-kiss as they held each other, both sets of eyes pleasantly closed, Fredrick’s mind kicked into high gear.

He suddenly shot his eyes in realization.

That was the moment.

The moment.

That was the moment he knew deep down that he was going to spend the rest of his life with this mare. There were already inklings of an idea formed by that point that just maybe he would… and hell, they were friggin’ planned to be wed!

But only now did he truly accept that that was the pivotal moment.

He smiled. Widely. And goddamn his cheeks were hurting again.

The gorgeous reverie was obliterated with four secret-police-intensity knocks at his bedroom door. Fred could feel Stella smiling against his chest.

“Heh, told ya!”

Fredrick chuckled and called towards the door from the balcony:

“Door’s open! Come on in!”

And boy did that door open. The inside doorknob slammed against the stopper on the wall as if a mighty gale blew it open. Fredrick released Stella from his hold, and the two of them turned towards the bedroom and found Schiavona and Sveta standing in the doorway. Both were identically stony-faced.

Schiavona stepped in and said bluntly:

“We’ve come for the cunt.”

Sveta followed up with:

“Return the slag… or suffer me curse.”

Fredrick shared a moment’s glance with Stella, and then decided to address the newcomers rather cordially despite their previous words:

“Hey Vona! Hey Sveta! How’s it going? LOVE the dresses, by the way,” he said, drawing attention to their dresses.

Both wore rather conservative black dresses with only small hints of golden accents. Vona’s was a classy sleeveless dress with the rest of her shoulders and collarbone covered completely. Sveta’s was strapless and sleeveless, but somehow through modern magic did not show a hint of her massive cleavage that lay underneath. Her curves came through nicely, though.

Stella joined in the greeting with a bright smile and an underlying tone that just dripped liquid snark all over the pristine floor:

“Hey mum! Hey Svet’! I see ya knew where tae find me~,” she said.

Sveta didn’t seem particularly pleased with the greeting, if Fredrick seeing her eyes burn brighter as her ‘bollocking face’ made itself known:

“You,” she pointed to her sister. “Get the FUCK back tae the dressin’ room right now or there will be fuckin’ consequences!”

It was Stella’s turn to not be impressed.

“Oh what fuckin’ consequences, lass? You gonna fuckin’ make me head back there? Fuckin’ hilarious. What’re ya gonna do, cuntpipe? Smother me in yer tits?”

Sveta thumbed towards Schiavona.

“Nae, but she’ll drag yer ass back,” said Sveta, and from what Fredrick could see of Vona’s closed off, steely, arms-crossed demeanor, she’d have zero issue twisting Stella’s ear to get shit done.

And Fredrick saw Stella’s front waver in front of her mom, but true to her nature—and demonstrating that she had not changed in the slightest—started a rather defiant mini-tirade:

“Oh fuckin’ of course ya gotta drag mum intae this shit ya wee fuckin’ clipe. We’ve been at it FOR FUCKIN’ HOURS, mate! How much shit do ya gotta pile on me face, ya fuckin’ narrow-faced weapon?!”

“As much as it fuckin’ takes tae fix up yer ugly vagina face, bitch! You asked me tae do this for ye as yer fuckin’ maiden of honor or whatever!”

Stella rolled her eyes and gestured animatedly with her hands, which made Fredrick think there was some Italian in her, or whatever this planet’s equivalent was.

“Oh fuck right off please, lass! If I wanted tae laugh I’d put me ear up tae mum’s twat because clearly the last thing that fell out of there was a fuckin’ joke,” Stella declared.

Fredrick nearly had to relocate at that. What made him stay was when he could’ve sworn Schiavona was trying not to cackle at that. The days of awkwardly standing off to the side while the verbal slugfests went on in this family were long gone, and he was actively, excitedly betting on who would be winning.

It was Sveta’s turn to roll her eyes, and she twirled her hands as she further stepped up to Stella.

“Aye, aye, and so on and so forth. Lemme get somethin’ real fuckin’ not-gay here,” she said, and thrust her index finger right in front of Stella’s face.

“We’re finishin’ yer fuckin’ makeup—this is not fuckin’ negotiable. Yer not marryin’ Fredrick in front of everypony lookin’ like a fuckin’ drugged-up sow that ye normally do, ya fuckin’ scrote-faced pisser!”

“I’ll fuckin’ look like however the fuck I wanna look tae the world, cunt! Did Celestia fuckin’ have a massive stroke and left ye princess? Who the fuck made ye Sombra?! I vote fer no fuckin’ confidence by way of ‘ye suck a fat cock!’”

“Uhhh… you did when ye asked me tae be yer fuckin maid of honor ya dumb fuckin’ tardnugget! And as yer sister I’ll hoist this burden on my shoulders fer yer own sake and—IT’S JUST FUCKIN’ MAKEUP, LASS! QUIT BEIN’ A FUCKIN’ NYAFFY BABY ABOUT IT, YOU SWOLLEN CUNT!”

Stella grandiosely threw her arms out and rolled her entire upper torso with how unimpressed she was.

“Oh give me a fuckin’ break with yer fuckin’ ‘burden,’ arse-queef. When the time comes tae be yer maid of honor I c’n lift that fuckin’ ‘burden’ with the end of me clit!”

Schiavona decided to interject right there:

“That’s enough, Stella,” she said coolly, shutting up any further rebuttals between the two of them.

And when it looked like Stella was about to argue with her, it was now Vona’s turn to level the almighty index finger at her face.

“Get the fuck back tae barracks right fuckin’ now, or I’ll circumcise yer fuckin’ turdcutter, aye? Fuckin’ ‘mon then! Piss off!” she thumbed towards the door.

Stella grumbled, but her resistance faltered completely under Vona’s threatening gaze, and she trudged past Sveta. Before she was dragged out the door by her sister, Stella gazed over her shoulder back at Fredrick, leveling some rather hilarious-looking puppy-dog eyes—eyes that were pleading with him to save her from a fate worse than death.

As much as those eyes had an effect on him, Schiavona was the first one to shut that shit down:

“Oi! Don’t fuckin’ look at ‘im, cunt! Just fuckin’ get it done! And Sveta? If she gives ye any fuckin’ trouble, have dad put her through the fuckin’ wall, aye?”

Sveta grinned evilly.

“With fuckin’ pleasure, mum!” she said, and yanked Stella out of sight of the doorway.

Fredrick was left snickering, and he shook his head at the display—he could only hope shenanigans like this continued beyond the wedding and into marriage. He was gently tugged back into reality when he remembered that Vona was still in the room with him.

He then watched as she stepped forward and took the liberty of silently flattening out the lapels of his dress shirt, as well as the ends of his bowtie. She did so with such a motherly touch that Fredrick briefly had flashbacks to his high school senior prom night, when his mom helped sort him out before the festivities.

She smiled warmly.

“Perfect,” she said, nodding up at him. “Yer lookin’ quite dapper, mate!”

It still amazed him how, despite Vona’s smaller stature, her overbearing personality and aura still made him feel so much shorter after all this time.

He smirked right back, feeling his cheeks heat up at the genuine compliment from her.

“Heh, thanks Vona. You look lovely as well!” he replied.

“Ye ready?”

“I honestly couldn’t be more ready! Are you ready? There’s still time to escape with Stella out the back door, you know,” he joked.

Fredrick fully expected for Vona to come back with something witty, a playful insult about his human features, or something else that he would deem as ‘normal.’ Instead of that, however, Fred was a little stunned to see that her demeanor hadn’t changed to the more whimsical. Rather, her features had only grown much… warmer.

“You know good and well I don’t wanna see ya fuckin’ go anywhere,” she said.

Fred cocked his head.

“Oh really?”

She nodded, then tenderly reached up to his face and cupped his cheek with the most maternal touch Fredrick could describe.

“Because—quite frankly—I feel you’re the son I never had.”

Those words.

Fredrick never knew he needed to hear those words… or to feel another ‘maternal’ presence in his life. It had been years since he had seen his own mom for the last time. And in quick recollection over the last few years, it had become readily apparent that, in many ways, Schiavona helped fill a void he either didn’t realize, or that he didn’t want to admit existed.

Further, Fredrick just… couldn’t find a way to properly reply to that. His chest swelled, and an almost young, boyish feeling within him began to well up within his core. And much like the mother she was, Vona seemed to be able to read him like a damn book, because she made it quite clear he didn’t need to respond to that.

She simply embraced him, wrapping her arms around him as best as she could—it was a hug that Fredrick never found himself so eager to return. It was… comforting. Even though Vona was shorter and petite, Fredrick could feel a familiar security in her embrace.

He missed it so much.

Fredrick took a deep breath, and exhaled all his remaining fears and troubles that weighed on his mind and heart.

“Thanks, Vona. For everything.”

“Nah, son—thank you fer marryin’ Stella because fuck me I dunno what the fuck I was gonna do with her!”

[Throne Room | Soon After…]

As the twilight gave way to the proper night, all curtains and veils within the massive throne room were discarded, as to let the full moon’s cascading light bathe the interior. The extra-bright moon—courtesy of Luna—shone prominently through the windows and stained glass, lighting up what was an indigo rug aisle. Said aisle led from the throne room entrance, right up to the altar threshold.

And right in front of Fredrick.

As he observed the ambiance that the Princesses helped coordinate for such a ‘traditional’ Northern Batpony wedding, he came away blinded by the lengths they actually went to. Taking pictures with his phone was not exactly in good taste right now, so he opted to just scan every inch of his surroundings for good measure, and imprint them onto his brain.

Magical torches burning blue flames lined all the windows to further augment the moonlight that shone through. This further brought attention to the aisle itself, where on either side of the indigo rug, from entrance to threshold, armored up Royal Lunar Guards stood at attention, facing one another.

Fredrick was graciously enlightened that Stella’s former platoon volunteered to provide an honor guard service, and see off their Captain on her special day. Their dark gray armor certainly added to the allure of the atmosphere, in Fredrick’s eyes... especially when the light struck their plating at specific angles. But it had to say something about Stella that, after all the grief she gives her soldiers, they willingly wished to be a part of the ceremony.

It was moving, in some sense.

Stella’s extended family was invited for the occasion, as well as any guests that were approved. He had met many of them over the years, though Fredrick did note a few faces that didn’t look familiar in the crowd. Since Fredrick did not have any family to bring over, Vampir made sure to have both sides of the aisle populated with the Sabre family and their guests… in a sense, symbolizing that they were his family, too.

As for the more intimately familiar faces of the bunch…

Fredrick glanced to his right, towards the left side of the aisle, and found Sveta standing patiently with her arms folded behind her back. Seemingly feeling his eyes on her, she returned his gaze with a small smirk and a nod. All was well.

Schiavona, ever clad in her lovely dress, stood at the three-fourths mark of the indigo aisle, right in the center… waiting. She occasionally gazed around as the last, final bits of the preparations were squared away. Just by how her right hoof was tapping rhythmically against the floor, she seemed to be filled to the brim with excitement and anxiousness as much as he was!

Lord knows Fred would be developing a twitch from just waiting for this damn thing to start.

Quick movement to his left and behind him drew Fred’s attention, and the unfamiliar, elderly face of a batpony stared stoically at the scene. At the head of the altar, dressed in one of the most legendary black and gold robes that Fredrick had ever seen, was the star of the show other than he and Stella: a batpony Druid.

This bearded, faded-gray-coated stallion would be officiating the ceremony. This Fredrick knew well enough from the couple rehearsals they all had to go through, but this would be the first time that the actual Druid was here to perform the official duties and formally ‘unite’ them.

In the front row of the crowd, Fredrick caught the eye of Celestia and Luna, who were dressed in both their finest white and navy blue formal dresses, respectively. On the other side of the aisle sat Schnee, Midnight, and Highground, who had all kept with the ‘theme’ of black dresses with golden accents. The only difference was that Schnee’s was much frillier and ‘cutesy,’ with little fluffy short sleeves and skirt, while Midnight opted for a more spartan sleeveless one. Highground’s was almost identical to Midnight’s that he could see, save for the placement of the golden accents.

All met his gaze and both waved at him enthusiastically, beaming smiles adorning their faces.

Fredrick had a hard time not reciprocating the emotion—it was a torrent inside his chest. A cocktail of emotions that had him feeling over the moon, accomplished, afraid for his life, and content all at the same time. It almost felt like that one time that Stella nearly sucked his left nut out of his sack from one of her legendary blowjobs.

Well, but like, a billion fucking times more profound, of course. This was their wedding after all… though that was nothing to say about Stella possibly hoovering his right nut out of his sack after the evening drew to a close.

If there was a time to be alive, this was that time to be alive.

A massive, gargantuan ‘clacking’ of the throne room doors echoed throughout the perfectly acoustic-tuned hall.

The white noise of the idle chatter amongst the processions guests and observers was silenced within a couple seconds. Any lingering noise was drowned out entirely when two guards simultaneously drew open both sides of the doors.

Fredrick gulped, and righted his posture. He was so ready for this.

Standing in the entrance was Stella as Fredrick had seen her earlier. Any work that Sveta might’ve done regarding makeup was not easily visible due to just the distance away, but he figured it would become more apparent when she was actually in front of him.

What he could see, however, was Stella holding the ‘sacred dagger’ that he had proposed to her with, to her chest via her left hand, as was customary. Linked in her arm was the arm of Vampir, who Fredrick could see opted for his own ceremonial dress uniform with visor-cap and all. Both stared straight ahead, steely looks adorning their faces.

And then, the opening beat of the traditional wedding march started up. Likewise, Stella and Vampir began marching forward arm-in-arm.

Step by step and in perfect synchronization with the powerful beat, Stella and Vampir kept their gazes forward. Even more moving, with every row of two guards that Stella passed on her way forward, they saluted and turned forward in synchronization.

Fredrick, and likely the rest of the crowd, were completely enraptured by the display. The rather unconventional marching cadence was made that much more epic with the perfect acoustics of the throne room.

Fredrick was already dry in the mouth, having nothing to gulp down as Stella slowly approached him. What made things even more… amazing was that the wedding march seemed almost… fantastical. It grew and grew in intensity as his bride-to-be approached the halfway mark. Perfectly choreographed and tuned to the event.

This was no time to merely gawk, though. The moment Stella and Vampir crossed an unseen line on the way to meeting Schiavona, Fredrick knew he was up.

He glanced once to Sveta, who turned to him in kind. With a shared nod, Fredrick started forward with impeccable timing befitting of a groom of the Sabre clan. Letting the rhythm dictate his own marching cadence as he was told, he strode forward. The only constant was him training his eyes on Stella’s… who was staring right at him as they approached Vona from opposite ends.

They were supposed to remain stoic and steely. Unfortunately, Fredrick found this rather impossible, and as they drew closer to one another, he could no longer restrain his painfully powerful grin.

Stella’s own snaggle-fang made itself known in response, as was customary when she smiled.

Fredrick watched Vona peer behind her, and when she spied him right in position behind her, she turned left ninety degrees and stepped back. This allowed an unobstructed view between Stella and Fredrick, as well as Vampir who continued to hold her arm.

Stella glanced down and to her left at Vona, who then brought her daughter’s face down to meet hers in a loving kiss on the cheek.

Fredrick stepped forward three paces. He and Stella were now about a foot apart from each other, and he was allowed to truly gaze into her eyes. Those golden pools of hers radiated pure love for him, and he could feel it warming his body, previously chilled from the anxiousness of the present events. He could only hope that he offered her the same measure of ‘salvation.’

Fredrick observed as Vampir then looked to Stella with that same, steely gaze that was iconic of him… a fateful glance that meant much more to the ceremony than it seemed on the surface. However, even Fred could see that the weight of what everything currently meant had broken some of Vampir’s walls: his lips were pursed, and his sapphire eyes held an extra sheen to them. The human knew well what this step represented.

He knew exactly the silent conversation taking place between father and daughter.

Are… Are you sure?

Stella turned her head to him, smiled widely, and nodded once without a single hitch, nor a moment’s deliberation. And just like that, she had confirmed her fate.

Yes, dad. I’m sure.

Vampir nodded again, smiled pridefully, sniffled once, and then held Stella’s hand out to Fredrick. With the silent approval, he would ‘give’ her to him. And of course, Fredrick gladly accepted. Stella’s hand molded perfectly into his own—he was barely apart from it today and he already missed it so much.

Fred shared a quick glance with Vona, who looked back at him with a wide, prideful grin of her own. She was not shy in the slightest with her damp eyes.

He saw Vampir take a couple steps back, and per his role, Fred stepped into his place by Stella’s side. Vona rejoined Vampir behind them, and as the wedding march entered its final stage, the couple completed their journey to the altar.

The song finally entered its last chord, and the Druid stood tall in front of them... towering higher than he was by virtue of being the last, figurative mountain to summit before salvation. Even so, Fredrick knew from now-on was the easy part of the ‘proper wedding.’ All he had to do was just listen and regurgitate what was customary to say.

Well… apart from one interesting thing that was to come.

Still, the excitement within him refused to abate, as he expected. Fred shared one more glance and giddy, sideways smile with Stella, which definitely helped a bit.

The Druid then cleared his throat, extended his arms out and to the side, and spoke with a booming, monstrous voice in the with a Northern Thestral accent that rivalled Vampir’s for the most manly scotsman:

“In the presence of our kin, and the light of our glorious moon…” he began. “We gather here on the brightest of nights to bear witness to a union…”

Fredrick’s heart was racing right now. Though he kept his gaze forward and as emotionless as possible, he had to take a deep breath and an exhale to keep his bearings straight. His nerves were calmed further when he felt Stella squeeze his left hand reassuringly. They were in this together.

They both wanted this.

This was where it all led to.

The Druid gestured a hand to Stella:

“…between Stellaluna Falchion of Clan Sabre…”

He then gestured open-handed to Fred:

“…and Fredrick Conway of Clan Himmelreich.”

Their officiator’s grandiose gesticulations continued.

“It is said that on Luna’s fullest Moons that miracles will happen. Whether it be victory in battle, salvation from crisis, or—like today—a joining of two hearts and spirits. And a miracle it indeed is!

“For today, our clan expands by one!”

The Druid held his hand out to Stella expectantly.

“Please, present the sacred dagger,” he asked.

Stella, who had dutifully held the sheathed blade to her chest on her entire march here, presented it to their officiator, handle first. Fredrick watched as he then gingerly took into his grasp, pulled the blade from the sheath, and examined it in the moonlight… as if he was studying just how much its gold glinted and glittered.

Seemingly satisfied, he smirked.

“It is beautiful! This dagger…” he began anew and held it high, as if showing it to a class.

“…represents more than the love and trust these two share for one another. It is the essence—the physical manifestation of their bond! And simultaneously, the instrument with which to bind them.”

The Druid addressed Stella first, and publicly asked with all the massive authority he had in his body:

“Do you, Lady Stella, accept this stallion to be your husband? Your love, your defender, your boulder of support and ascension for the rest of your life?”

Fredrick watched with great pride as Stella didn’t even skip a beat in her response, in plain Equestrian with zero slang or iconic innuendos:

“Aye—I accept Fredrick as mine and only mine, forever and always, until I am one with the earth.”

The Druid then turned to him, and Fredrick’s heart rate shot up like an addict on the streets of San Francisco. It was his (small) time to shine!

“And do you, Lord Fredrick, accept this mare to be your wife? Your love, your defender, your boulder of support and ascension for the rest of your life?”

Fredrick beamed at Stella, who made no effort to hide her face bursting with emotion, as he spoke his response:

“Yes—I accept Stella as mine and only mine, forever and always, until I am one with the earth.”

The Druid raised his head high above and looked down upon them with a sincere smile. He nodded once.

“So be it! Present your hands, and let the pact be signed.”

Fredrick presented his right as Stella simultaneously presented her left… though she had the extra step of sliding her white glove off her hand. The rings on their fingers glittered in the moonlight like the armor of the observing Lunar soldiers.

The Druid then reached forward with his free hand and gently grasped Stella’s wrist, holding the tip of her ring finger to the point-end of the golden blade.

Fredrick held his breath, and pursed his lips. His heart was racing once more.

“With this prick of your finger…”

Fredrick saw Stella flinch, catching her breath as the Druid pressed the dagger forward just enough to puncture the tip of her finger. He removed it just as quickly as it entered, and a small rivulet of blood began to slowly slide down her digit, and into her palm.

Fredrick then observed as Druid wiped, then held the blade momentarily in the fire of one of the magical torches adorning the altar. And finally, he grasped Fred’s wrist for the same treatment. He felt the warm tip of the blade press into his ring finger with the tiniest, but certainly noticeable bit of pain.

“…and this prick of your finger…”

Fredrick loosed a tiny, curt gasp when he felt the point puncture into his finger, feeling much like that time he accidentally got stabbed with a pen in high school. The electric, painful jolt left as soon as it was present, and in its place a similar, warm trickle of blood flowed gently in a rivulet down his finger and into his palm.

“…they now join one another in holy union!”

Now was their time to shine. He and Stella didn’t need any more words from the Druid to know their next steps. He locked eyes with the love of his life, and when her golden pools shone back all the love he had for her tenfold, any residual pain from the small, deliberate puncture wound ceased to exist.

His heart beat proudly and powerfully in his chest like a gorilla trying to release itself from its enclosure to have at some succulent ass. With the brightest smile he could muster, he met Stella’s hand in the center.

He pressed his palm against hers, and then let their fingers intertwine, their combined blood smearing together in their palms. Stella’s smile reflected all the light in the room and her love right back at him in the process.

That was it.

“And so it is done. With the authority bestowed upon me by our luminous Moon, I proclaim you both…

“…husband, and wife.”

Fredrick’s smile felt like it was tearing right through the muscles in his cheeks, but if he had to live with Joker scars for the rest of his life, then so be it. He’d have a story to tell, following the words ‘wanna know how I got these scars?’ Stella’s pearly whites shining right back at him…along with two (2) whole tears falling from her eyes (professionals had standards, after all)… sealed the deal for him.

And as the Druid extended his arms out and up to the entire hall to rapturous applause, Fredrick used his free, non-bleeding hand to pull Stella’s face into his. The simple kiss that followed—much like any they had shared, even earlier today—had just felt extra… significant.

The journey led here. But as Fredrick separated from the lips of his now-wife, he knew good and well that it was not over. It was merely the starting point of another phase of the very same journey through life.

He now officially had a Player-2 alongside him.

Fred and Stella turned back towards the crowd, but before they could embrace arm-in-arm, Sveta was quick with her next duty: bandaging both of their fingers and cleaning their hands.

From there, it was a simple matter of Stella getting her dagger holstered back on her waist, and then the two of them leading the entire party out into the Grand Courtyard where the real celebration could begin.

32. Union | Part 2 | Fuckin' Gold

[Grand Courtyard | Half an Hour Later…]

The proper ‘Northern Wedding’ was just for formality’s sake. Yeah, it was memorable… and Fredrick was both honored and elated that he had the opportunity to be a part of something so meaningful for Stella and her family. But, it was by no means what the two of them would call the ‘main event.’

In fact, when discussing how they wanted to approach their wedding, the two of them only needed about ten minutes before the evil smiles came about. The plans were then inked not even twenty minutes after that. And so, it would be set up as such.

Bright, powerful torches illuminated the massive courtyard, and ensured that as the guests would be able to file out of the throne room and to their assigned tables with ease. They would be able to see everything clearly, along with help of the brilliant moonlight. Between the guest tables and the stage was a large, hard wood rectangular dance floor when the time was right.

The night was young, after all!

Right at the front, a large stage was set where the instruments of Sveta’s band lay in waiting to the side—those were not important now. The stage instead played prominent host to two pseudo-thrones, a podium just off to the right, and six other chairs off to the left.

And as the newlywed couple led the group of guests out into said courtyard, all began to file in and take their designated seats amongst the lake of tables in front of the dance floor as expected. Naturally, Fredrick and Stella were given the honor of sitting right front and center, along with all guests of honor which included Sveta and all the usual suspects of what Fredrick had begun affectionately calling the ‘squad.’

As he sat at said table while others continued filing in, and quietly just… let himself be absorbed in the animated, fawning conversation immediately around him, Fred recalled one day a while back. As he reminisced, he drew his eyes over his former marefriend, now-bride, to his right… who was in some form of a banter match with Sveta who sat on his immediate left. The circle completed with Midnight, Schnee, and Highground in between.

Said day was when Fred casually referred to all these lovely gals here as ‘Stella’s friends.’ Stella then pointed out to him that they were not just ‘her friends,’ anymore. They were his friends, too.

He could feel his face radiating contentedness like the elephant’s foot at Chernobyl. The way it felt to have a proper ‘friend group’ again was not something he realized he was missing as much as he did.

Okay, maybe I don’t have a ‘squad’ but at I do have five ponies who don’t want me to die, so that’s something!

While the warmth remained all around, he was gently pulled out of his reverie when Sveta shut down the conversation between her and Stella, and proceeded to get to her hooves.

“…Whatever, filly. It’s time tae start anyway, so get yer arses ready, turds. This is gonna be legendary,” she decreed.

After a quick, rather elegant turn on her hooves to make sure that everyone was in proper place, she continued her hypnotic saunter up the stage. With a poise and confidence of a mare who was at home on-stage, she took her place at the podium and control of the mic.

Fredrick took one last look around as all gave her the attention she commanded, and by instinct, his and Stella’s hands meshed right where they belonged.

“Testing… testing…” came Sveta’s first words. No earsplitting sound came from the perfectly placed speakers, and all idle chatter at and between the tables came to a quiet end.

Fredrick watched from the corner of his vision as Stella hollowed her hands around her muzzle:

“Take yer top off, lass! Mommy give me milkies!” she shouted to the stage, to nigh-immediate chortling and whooping laughter from their table, the rest of the guest and family tables, and even from the princesses the next table over.

Sveta (wisely) ignored that outburst and continued with the show:

“Good evening, everypony! Damn… that was some wedding, lemme tell ya,” she began, laying her arms atop the podium.

Sveta gestured to Fredrick and Stella up front.

“And it was amazin’ fer one main reason—I never thought I’d get tae see me sister get married any time soon. Let alone tae somepony—or rather, someone—who would be such a perfect fit fer you… in more ways than one,” she alluded to more than a few giggles.

Most of them came from Stella herself. Fredrick grasped her hand a little tighter, smiling at her from the side as pride threatened to overfill his mortal form.

Sveta righted her posture and adopted a much more excited smile.

“However, I’ll save the rest of what I have tae say fer the main attraction! You see, we’ve done things a… little differently from the other Northern weddin’s that we’ve all been to. I’m sure those in me family or the batponies that frequent the Northern Range can vouch,” she gestured broadly to the lake of batpony friends and family.

“But!” she dramatically paused with a lone index finger pointed at the heavens. “After the traditional ceremony, what happens now, happens tae be exactly what the newlyweds wanted in the first place. And in me professional opinion, it fits them both wonderfully.

“For tonight the wedding continues… with the usual toasts and speeches… as well as an optional roast…”

There were more than a few ‘oooohs’ and murmurs from the crowd of whom weren’t in the know.

“…of the newlyweds!” Sveta finished, nearly bursting at the seams from how excited she was… though she also caveated it:

“Optional… so only if they wish! I know not everypony is intae that. Regardless, they’ll say whatever they wanna say… so everypony here: help me out and give these fuckwits a weddin’ sendoff they’ll never fuckin’ forget fer the rest of their lives!

“Now, Stella and Fredrick—please get yer asses up here and put said asses in the thrones.”

Fredrick beamed and looked to his bride, where he found Stella mimicking his excitement. Without any further beckoning, he offered her his hand (which she graciously took in her own gloved grasp with an almost sarcastic elegance) and they stood up together.

On cue, massive applause, cheers, and whistles broke out from their table… and subsequently all tables present. The ovation—and in Fredrick’s opinion, a further validation of his and Stella’s relationship, and his own place in this world—continued even as the two made their way across the dance floor and onto the stage. Sveta gestured to the throne chairs and the two of them took a seat, with Fredrick on the left facing their now-audience, and Stella on the right.

There was also a small little table that existed between both thrones, that came to about armrest height. It tactically held two bottles of Northern Sap with two glasses already filled to the appropriate level (i.e. up to the top). It was also the perfect height and distance between where the two could continue holding hands. Priorities.

Fredrick shared an excited smile and giggle with Stella on his left, and they both watched as Sveta picked back up in commanding the event:

“Alright! Now… the fun part can start,” she said, bouncing a bit on her hooves. “The best part is, they weren’t told fully who was gonna be doin’ the honors, so…”

She addressed the audience once more.

“Will the speakers and/or roasters, please, stand up and make yer way to your chairs?” she asked.

Midnight stood up.

Luna stood up.

Highground stood up.

Schiavona stood up.

Schneeblume stood up.

Wide eyed, Fredrick and Stella glanced at each other—neither had expected the Lunar Princess to join in… Schnee was a bit of a wildcard in whether she would. And now that she did, both were wondering whether she would take part in the roast, or just speak lovely things. Only time would tell.

They fully expected Vona to be a part of this, though.

As everypony giddily made their way on stage to their chairs with their drinks and with some notes in hand, Sveta then added:

“And I’ll be the sixth speaker. Because of course I would be, cunts! Rules are simple: each one gets called up one at at a time, and they have a few minutes tae turn up the heat if they so choose~!

“So, since we’re all here, and I’m already up here… I think I’ll spearhead this fer the good of all equinity!” she declared…

…and then pointedly placed both her arms atop the podium.

“And I’m—of course—gonna roast! Firstly, I’d like tae thank everypony here fer comin’ tonight… tae bear witness to the weddin’ between me sister, Stella, and… oh shit, it’s Fredrick!”

Fred cocked an eyebrow… and his entire head.

Apparently, that was the reaction Sveta was going for, and she seemed more than happy to clarify:

“Sorry mate… forgot ye existed. I mean… heh, hard tae see you when yer in the shadow of the main character of yer own relationship. My bad, mate!”

Oof size: maximum.

Fredrick felt his entire face scrunch up involuntarily at that… but what set him off was hearing Stella immediately start giggling… and then full on laughing her ass off. The roasting crew was all in various states of laughter, as was the audience. He had to admit—that was a fuckin’ good one, and his own giggles manifested. That one called for a drink, though, and he was all too happy to start sipping on more Northern Sap.

He might be blasted by the end of the night.

Sveta continued, smiling widely as she drew her attention from the audience to the roasters, and back to the two of them in varying frequencies.

“But ANYWAY! Thank you all fer comin’ to this historic moment fer our clan and family—friends and family alike. I can read the surprise on all yer faces… I know, because I feel it too. I just don’t know…

“…how Stella managed tae get somepony tae even like her in the first place! And technically, she didn’t!” Sveta added to a small chorus of chuckles.

She snapped her face right to Stella’s:

“Fred’s not even a pony! I remember when we were kids, and when ye bullied me too hard, I always told ye that you would never find anyone in this world who would wanna marry you because you were a wretched wench. I was right!

“Ya needed tae get a literal fuckin’ error of the universe tae get yer retarded ass hitched! Somehow… ye cheated life again!”

She then added with no small amount of mirth:

“Fuckin’ cunt!”

Fredrick chuckled, but he heard the telltale, girly laughter of Stella’s nostalgia of many years past. That gibe was certainly appreciated by her.

Sveta continued to be efficient with her time:

“You fuckin’… golden-eyed, loose-flapped, aired-out fuckin’ sow of a cunt napkin shitpie. Yer temper is obnoxious. Yer inebriated soul is necrotic tae society…”

Stella’s squeaking laughter increased exponentially in volume as Sveta just started bulleting the insults at this point.

“And yer laugh sounds like mum when she’s tryin’ tae get a quickie in with dad and she thinks we didn’t hear ‘em.”

Fredrick never heard gleeful laughter from all parties suddenly u-turn into revulsed guffaw. He was arguably as fucked up as the mare he married though, so he had no problem busting out laughing at Stella’s expense. A quick glance over to the roaster group graced him with a wide-eyed Schiavona with pursed lips. She shook her head disapprovingly, though ‘all in good humor’ was written on her face plainly.

Luna was cackling. Midnight was in stitches. Schnee was (poorly) hiding how much she was laughing through her visibly blushed face. Highground was smiling widely at seeing Stella get eviscerated.

He took a much larger sip of his drink.

“Holy shit,” he muttered.

And through it all, Sveta soldiered on:

“And despite all that… ye managed tae snag friends that ye didn’t coerce over alcohol,” she said, gesturing open-handed towards the roaster group.

“They say you can judge a mare based on the company she keeps. Well… I see Midnight made it—the fuckin’ walkin’ sexual harassment lawsuit. You’d be in jail if everypony didn’t want yer legs wrapped around their head!”

Midnight seemed a-okay with that description of her, and Fred watched her lasciviously lick her lips and aggressively claw towards Sveta.

“Highground’s up here, too! Glad tae see ya, lass!

“Stella was always intae older mares. Did she try tae get ye tae fingerblast her when she agreed tae share the rent with ye all those years ago… and a friendship just fell outta that proverbial twat?”

Highground was chuckling genuinely… but had the demeanor of somepony that silently proclaimed, ‘oh if only you knew what horrors I’ve seen.’

Sveta flipped a small notecard over.

“Her Royal Highness Princess Luna made it up here! I don’t have anythin’ tae hold against ya—and not fer fear of bein’ thrown in the dungeon, mind you all,” she caveated.

“I’m just honestly surprised that you haven’t killed her yet, ma’am!” Sveta finished.

Luna giggled evilly into her hand before shouting out joyfully:

“Stella knows not how many times she’s been close to death with me!”

Fredrick took another glance over to his mare in question and found her just… beaming. She was still recovering from an earlier laughing spree and her face was flushed to boot. This was likely also because she was refilling her glass after touching off the first Northern Sap. She just… radiated.

Turning back to the action, Sveta smiled at her mom… who just stared back at her.

“Oh, and… hi mum! I love you!” she then waved innocently to much laughter and applause.

And then she leveled her gaze at the untouched mare of the group: Schnee.

“And last but certainly not least—how could I forget the lovely Schnee: the prettier, more distinguished version of me sister. I honestly have nothin’ tae roast ya on, lass! But fuck me, I hope you’ve gotten tae smack Stella a few times with yer arm!” she quipped.

The Alemaneian mare giggled heartily at, seemingly, the thought of that.

“But… all that bein’ said…” she began anew and turned back towards Fredrick and Stella.

The only difference this time, was the loss of her iconic smile—it was now much warmer and loving.

“Stella, yer a rat-faced bitch splattering of afterbirth… but yer the best goddamn sister I could ever ask for. You’ve always been there fer me and bailed me out more times than I can remember. Despite all the shit slingin’ over the years, and the quality bants, I fuckin’ love you so much.”

Fredrick felt her eyes on him, now.

“And Fredrick… like I said before, yer not even a pony of this world. But you’ve become more like a best friend tae me than most ponies I know. All I’ve ever asked of you was tae take care of Stella—and I knew me trust would not be misplaced. Yer perfect for ‘er. I’m so happy tae finally have you join our family as me brother-in-law, mate.

“I love you both, and I wish you nothing but the best together. Congratulations you two! Thank you, all.”

And to a chorus of heartwarming ‘awwww’s and revving applause, Sveta concluded her bit… but not before joining Fredrick and Stella by the thrones—the latter intercepted her sister with a bright smile, and they threw their arms around each other.

Fredrick could hear them whispering something to one another that he couldn’t make out, but his intrigue whittled away when the two separated, and Sveta launched herself at him. He caught her in his arms, felt her peck his cheek, and was content to just share a nice hug with her.

She whispered:

“So happy tae have you in the family now, Fred. Thanks fer keepin’ Stella grounded. Sorry if that was too harsh?”

“Pleasure’s all mine, Sveta. Thanks for everything. And hell no—that was fuckin’ hilarious! I promise I still love you.” he replied.

“That’s gay.”

“No you.”

Amid the standing ovation from everyone and smiles all around, Sveta finally separated from Fredrick (who returned to his seat with Stella) and quickly announced:

“Thank you! And… up next is Midnight!”

And with that, she and the mare in question swapped places, though Sveta took the already empty chair to kick back and enjoy the show. The hulking Midnight sauntered purposefully over to the podium with that smug, confident, alluring aura that so defined her. The way her dress hugged her also further amplified her rather commanding presence.

Once she got there, she wasted little time in getting right into her routine, and sultrily replied:

“Thank you, Sveta~,” she said. “And hey, talk to me after the wedding’s done and we can see about my legs around your face~.”

“Oh fuuuuuck off, lass!”

Midnight giggled heartily, took a sip of her drink that she took with her to the podium, and then smiled brightly at everypony. Her massive, excitable smile seemed to capture all the light that Luna’s extra-bright moon afforded for the occasion. Combined with the glinting of the various colored, magical flames of the torches and this mare herself could have been the main attraction by just her existence.

She then proceeded to carry on right where Sveta left off:

“Alriiiiiiight! How goes it, everypony? As the bustier sister introduced me earlier, I’m indeed Midnight Song. Lovely to see you cuties all here, and a massive thank you to all parties involved for letting me participate in this beautiful ceremony! I’ll partake in the roast!” she began.

Fredrick felt a slight, primal shiver crawl down his spine like a spider trying to escape a compressed-air flamethrower when Midnight set her sights on both him and Stella.

“And what can I say about the beautiful newlyweds?

“I’ve known Stella for years by this point, I’d say. I have a little more tenure here at the castle than she does, but I had the pleasure of meeting this spunky batpony mare about a week after she got posted here.”

Midnight flipped her hair over to the other side of her neck and chuckled.

“The Solar Guards have a habit of playing little pranks on the new Lunar recruits. The target of one of these pranks happened to be the mare sitting right in that throne right there,” she pointed right at Stella…

…who seemed to be reeling with nostalgic hilarity from whatever Midnight was going on about.

“Well… this raw recruit ended up shattering the nose of a corporal who startled her a little too much. Ended up taking him out of rotation for a good couple month because apparently the damage was a lot worse than thought.

“Pretty sure she also psychologically scarred the poor fellow when she ranted at him for five minutes straight before medics arrived. Never heard such words come from a pony before…” she recounted to much whooping from Stella’s family.

Midnight put a hand on her chest.

“And I watched this all happen… all unfold before my eyes when I was just simple guardsmare infantry. I knew from that point on that this recruit was going places. Probably to Tartarus in a handbag… but places nonetheless.”

Fredrick was taking a drink and nearly choked when he saw Midnight leveling a dainty finger at him.

“And I met Fredrick on happenstance when I had to intercept Stella as planned for a prank on him! Pranks seem to follow this mare wherever she goes, it seems…

“But when I first lay eyes on him, I thought he had a disease or something because he had no coat that I could see from a distance. But then I realized that he was indeed just not from here like they all said, because he has a nice head of hair and is a general cutie much like his mare,” she said, batting her eyelashes at him.

Fredrick retreated back into his drink, earning much good-natured laughing at his expense.

“But EVEN THEN…. I realized that, Fredrick… you are technically diseased! Because I don’t know how anypony could survive dating Stella—who is literally cancerous!”

Fredrick smiled widely and nodded, wholly impressed. Stella was in stitches as was to be expected. Sveta pointed at her and laughed with all her body.

“But… it really doesn’t matter in hindsight considering I had spent the better part of a year and a half trying to get Stella to sit on my face, to no avail. All we got out of it was some lousy, friendly rivalry I guess,” she shrugged.

Fredrick, wide-eyed and pursed-lipped, really had been trying to keep some manner of composure the entire time. But alas, the blatant admission of what he already figured to be true since the two knew each other was too much. He was not successful in this attempt… especially when he saw Stella giggle evilly.

His hilarity only had a small hitch when Midnight turned back to him.

“And unfortunately, Stella wouldn’t let me sit on your face, so here we are again!”

Stella interjected right there:

“Lass, you’d kill him if ya did that! Let’s be realistic here!” she joked.

Fredrick answered rather regally:

“I would accept my fate for Princess and country.”

“HAHAHA!” Stella burst out.

Fredrick heard Luna emit the deepest, most guttural, involuntary guffaw he had heard in the last year. To that end, he was happy his little quip resonated with her specifically.

Midnight continued with more than a shit-eating smirk on her face.

“Duly noted,” she said, and then focused her attention more on the roasters:

“Thankfully, I won’t have to talk about my deepest held fantasies for the next couple minutes… especially since there’s ponies up here on the stage whom I actually enjoy the respect of…

“Like Mommy Highground over here!” she greeted the smirking, lovely-dressed CPD officer with a few tactical battings of her eyelashes.

Highground reacted quite visibly with an exaggerated eye-roll. Her smirk never evaporated though—she knew this was coming.

“I love a mare in uniform, and I really love a hot mommy mare who obviously hasn’t gotten any in a minute,” Midnight then added.

While the laughing was raucous, Highground blushed, looked horrified, looked like she wanted to laugh, and seemed scar-oused all at the same time. Fredrick did not know this look until he saw it, but goddamn he was seeing it right now.

Highground stuttered out:

“What in the hell do you mean ‘obviously?’ I-It’s fuckin’ only dick and cunt jokes with you, isn’t it? Is that r-really all you got for me?” she asked, chuckling.

Midnight innocently cocked her head to the left and spoke in that exaggeratedly innocent tone—a tone that would infuriate most, but she somehow made it sexy:

“I mean… I could bring more to the bedroom than that if you like?”

Fredrick heard Stella fucking collapse in her chair. She was sitting and she still managed to collapse somehow in a heap of cackling. Highground, however, wordlessly responded by throwing both her hands up. She clearly lost this one, and she knew it—she merely took a massive swig of her drink thereafter and shook her head.

Her smirk remained right where it was though.

“And there’s Princess Luna herself!” she directed attention to the diarch.

“She and I have what you would call a… special relationship. You see, when I was recruited to be one of Princess Celestia’s honor guards, she was actually the pony that interviewed me for the job, not the captain!

“And the first question she asked me was: ‘what was your intention in applying to be the final line of defense for my sister and co-ruler?’” Midnight fondly recalled, and Luna seemed to remember exactly where this went, if Fredrick seeing her purse her lips and shake her head in good humor was enough of a give-away.

“And that’s when I told her: ‘Your Highness… my intentions are exactly what anypony who wanted to get closer to your beautiful sister and her, deep down…

“...to protect her from all close threats, foreign and domestic, of course!” she drew out her allusion, much to Luna’s readily apparent annoyance.

“And… I have done exactly that,” she winked.

The building laughter from everypony was incredible, and Fredrick knew for a fact he could hear Celestia shrieking in hysterics at her table.

Midnight promptly moved on:

“Schiavona’s here—the mother of the bride herself!” she said, beaming innocuously at the Sabre matriarch. Fredrick did flinch a bit when she said her full first name, though.

“I can see where Stella gets all her stunning looks from! Thankfully very little of her personality, though!”

“Hah! Fuck you, cunt!”

“I stand wholly corrected!” came Midnight’s immediate about-face, to much good-natured laughter from everyone, especially Stella and Vona.

“And Sveta? You sure you don’t wanna arrange something after this? I mean… you must be tired after wrangling your sister around all day! And ma’am, your milkers look so heavy… I can hold them for you if you like?”

Sveta rebutted with her hands around her muzzle in the greatest spirit of her mother and sister:

“Hah! Fuck you, cunt!”

Midnight giggled heartily into her hand.

“Honestly, if it weren’t for those honkers of yours, it’d be pretty hard to tell you and Stella apart in the right light, is all I’m saying…”

She then lay her eyes upon the only one who had gone… ‘unmolested’ this round.

“And of course, last but oh… almost certainly not least, Schnee—as gorgeous on the eyes as you are, I at least know that you’re not related to these bats up here. I’ve always enjoyed a mare of a more civilized—and cuter—demeanor.

Schnee responded immediately after downing a bit of her drink:

“Hah! Fuck you, cunt!”

The sheer way she just blurted that out so cutely in her petite form and dress was such a stark contrast to… well, everything about her. Everyone lost their shit completely and devolved into a chorus of laughter that resembled clowns being diddled just right for a circus act involving a tiger and an adolescent elephant.

Midnight needed a few moments even after the communal laughter died down… and had to take a couple sips of her drink to further moisturize her mouth again. She ran her fingers through her mane a few times before taking a deep breath.

“Whew. Right… welp. Guess war changes everypony a little differently,” she said, shrugging.

Midnight then turned back to the newlyweds:

“But what I know won’t change… is the bond these two over here share,” she gestured to the two of them.

“Stella—despite our little ‘rivalry,’ you’ve shown to be a competent and wonderful leader… one who has inspired me to be a better pony. And Fredrick—you’ve brought along a personality and tenderness with just the right amount of bullshit in between to really pull the best out of the mare sitting next to you. I consider both of you fantastic friends of mine.

“Despite me wanting to sit on both your faces, I couldn’t imagine a better, more ‘perfect’ couple than you two. All the best to you, cuties… and come find me if you’re gonna spice up the bedroom,” she finished with a wink.

“Thanks guys!” she then formally finished.

Amongst the applause, Fredrick and Stella happily bounded from their seats to thank her properly with a hug and a a few words before Midnight took her seat again.

Once Sveta calmed down a little more, she was quick to announce:

“Alright! Who wants tae go next, loves?”

Schnee shot her hand up the fastest and with such conviction that she could have probably broken the sound barrier.

Sveta pointed right to her, then the podium.

“All yours, lass! Here’s Schneeblume!” Sveta announced to the next round of welcoming applause.

As for the mare in question, she topped off her drink entirely with one gulp, the cutest ‘ahhh,’ and then strutted up to the podium with a purpose… where the podium was just a little too high for her, but she made do. From what Fredrick could see, she could at least see above the brim without issue, but once again going from the imposing character and figure of Midnight to that of the smol Alemaneian was certainly a stark, yet tasty contrast.

“Good evening, everypony!” she began spryly, offering up a little wave to everyone.

Fredrick had to stifle an impending heart attack at her little gesture.

“I’ll warn you all,” she continued with a rather telltale slur with some of her words. “I’m a little tipsier than most right now because I don’t think I’d be able to say such… things about everypony here if I was completely sober. Ja, I’m doing the roast,” she said.

Fredrick glanced to his left out of reflex when he heard Stella clapping her hands together eagerly. She then leveled her probably-now-permanent smile at him:

“Oh, fuck this is gonna be good, mate…” she surmised.

Fredrick tittered evilly as well.

“Smol cute mare, war vet, tipsy to questionably drunk, volunteering to take part in a roast… I don’t think we know what will be wrought.”

“Aye, but it’ll be funny regardless!”

Schnee continued:

“But… enough forewarning. What could I possibly say about the perfect couple over here?” she said, drawing her gaze between Fredrick and Stella.

“Stella is very dear to me… we only happened to meet on chance many years ago. And… well. Soldier-to-former-soldier, she understood some things a lot better than the average pony.

“And then she promptly called me a cunt, which—as a foreigner—took me a little while to realize that she meant that endearingly. I learned that, in the Northern Range and the surrounding area, declaring somepony a ‘cunt’ can sometimes be the highest honor around!

“Only somepony with courage, distinction, tact, and true merit could have the wisdom to know who truly deserves such an endearment! Such a title as ‘cunt.’”

Schnee looked at Stella fully, and a sudden wave of smugness just radiated off her like yet another nuclear disaster.

“I’m sure you’ll be that mare someday, Stella.”

Fredrick felt his jaw hit the stage floor, and the ambient, painful, yet hilarious sounding ‘ooooooooh’ coming from the crowd and the group on stage was all it took to confirm what he just heard. His laughter exploded in earnest, especially when he heard (and then saw) Stella nearly fall out of her chair, snorting and laughing like a goddamn maniac.

The quieter mare had played everypony like a fiddle… again. Even if it wasn’t the hardest-hitting joke by far, it punched above its weight coming from her.

“Fredrick, however, was a different story entirely!” she continued.

“I was apparently unaware of his existence for a good year before I was introduced to him! Such a shame, because from the moment he shook my hand on Stella’s birthday evening that one time, I already knew that she had chosen well… just from the way he met my gaze,” she seemed to fondly recall.

Said fond recollection seemed to die immediately like twenty thousand Frenchmen in one day during the Battle of the Frontiers when she shot a rather stinging, accusatory gaze at him.

“And then when he offered to take the bill for the entire party that night, I had to wonder how big his dick was for Stella to remotely even put up with that Pferdescheiße! You still can go fuck yourself for that night, Freddie,” she added.

Fredrick only shrugged through his cackling.

“You’ll never get an apology out of me, Schnee. And I’ll fuckin’ do it again!”

After one of the cutest giggling fits from her—which involved her cheeks drunkenly coloring—she blew him a raspberry before moving onto her next targets.

“The unfortunate thing is that I simply don’t ‘know enough’ to poke fun at you, Princess Luna… nor you, Frau Sabre…” Schnee lamented.

And then added to that with the most infuriatingly innocent tone that befit her perfectly:

“Though… I’m pretty sure that’s your faults and not mine. Actually… for a while, I thought Equestria still only had one ruler… and that Stella had a loving mother. Can you blame me for missing that?” she asked.

Fredrick could not believe his ears. He could feel his eyes had gone full Looney Toons status, and from the halfway-gargling and choking laughter from Stella’s chair, he knew that she was on the edge of death right now. Sveta was just… deceased. And Fredrick witnessed Luna wipe her forehead as if she were sweating from just how hot that was. He could also have sworn he heard Celestia high on laughing gas.

“But that certainly doesn’t mean I have nothing to say about Miss Sveta over here!” she began anew. “When Stella and I met, I knew she had a sister—she had informed me of your presence, as it were, when we got a little closer and better acquainted as friends.

“And from the night I met you, I could’ve sworn that you were Stella’s twin… because clearly her personality went straight to your tits,” she said with an impossibly straight face…

…a stoicism which broke down almost immediately when what she just said replayed in her mind.

Sveta smiled—humor aplenty in her eyes—but shrugged at the implication.

“Why’s it all jokes about me tits?? Do any of ye have any fuckin’ creativity?”

Schnee blinked a couple of times… then angled her head over to her almost inquisitively.

“Wait… you mean to tell me you’re known for anything else?” she asked as if she was legitimately wishing to be enlightened.

The ‘oooooooh!’ that emanated from the audience and… really everyone else could probably be heard across the entire country. The collective oof was undeniable. The hyena-esque laughing from Stella and Schiavona was irrefutable.

Sveta, to her credit, nearly choked on her own spit with how hard that blindsided her on the back of her head. Even through her own impressed laugher, she held her hand, as if offended, to her heaving chest.

“Schnee… SCHNEE!” she cried out.

“OUCH!”

And apparently seeing her reaction created a feedback loop back to Schnee… who then doubled over in her own laughter, sprinkled with some clearly-evident guilt for what she had just uttered.

“I’m sorry, Sveta—I just couldn’t resist,” she said.

“Oh fuck off, lass! That was hilarious! Ye need tae drink more often!”

As the full-on laughter receded and turned back into light giggling, Schnee pressed onward when she turned her attention to Highground.

“Ahhh… Highground. The ‘responsible’ one. The guardian angel of the group,” she began anew with a friendly smile.

“I still remember everything you did for us that night, you know… herding us around like cats to make sure that we didn’t kill ourselves… or somepony else,” Schnee recalled…

…and then punctuated that final word with one of the absolute cutest giggles Fredrick had ever heard. His heart fluttered like the first time he ever saw a baby golden retriever.

Nevertheless, he and Stella listened with rapt attention—they had been surprised by this progressively-getting-drunker mare in the past couple minutes, neither of them was really sure where she was going with this. But… that certainly didn’t mean that they didn’t want to see where this was going. All eyes and ears were on the smol mare to see what she would say next.

Highground herself was hanging on every one of Schnee’s genuine words… cocked eyebrow and cautious eyes heavy with playful suspicion of the mare at the podium.

“But I guess when you’re past your prime, you must get your excitement from some source… even if it means just being a chaperone for younger mares to live vicariously through,” she said.

Highground’s steelier exterior decidedly collapsed right then with a throaty laugh, and she scratchily cackled into both of her hands. From the inhuman and inequine sounds coming from Stella to his left, he was starting to wonder whether she was going to actually die tonight from laughter.

Regardless, facts were facts. From all the… interesting happenings at the appropriately named ‘Echo’s Bizarre Adventure’ to now, Schnee was a firecracker when she was drunk. Or maybe, more like a bottle rocket ready to take out someone’s face at a moment’s notice.

Highground was eventually able to manage out:

“Schnee, I love you so much. Stella better keep bringing you out with her, I swear.”

The inebriated mare then set her sights on the last pony she hadn’t said anything about and lowered her eyelids predatorially.

“Ahh… Midnight. Mitternacht,” Schnee began. “You know, when I first met you… and you gave me your hand to shake, I wasn’t blind, you know.

“I knew you were flirting quite heavily with me. I knew your intentions. And in my mind about you, I was thinking… ‘I’d much rather overcook a grenade and blow my remaining hand and forearm off,’” she regaled.

Fredrick watched Stella nearly fall out of her chair the second time tonight.

“FUCK ME!” she squealed, and launched into raucous laugher, along with the rest of the gathering present…

…though Fredrick did have to intervene when Stella started choking on her own spit, and he made sure to help her sit back up and pat her back, so she didn’t expire. However, him being a good boyfriend-turned-husband didn’t mean that he couldn’t laugh at her expense while he did his noble duty.

“You good, babe?” he asked through his own chortling.

She nodded eagerly, tears streaming down her face by this point just from laughing alone.

“Aye… fuckin’ hell mate… I didn’t fuckin’ expect that outta her. Any of this! This is the best day of me life!” she managed to huff out.

“PFFT! Oh, so marrying me didn’t qualify today as being the best of your life, but Schnee shitting on all of us does?” he dared ask.

Stella batted her eyelashes at him.

“Oh don’t worry… today was firmly number two!” she said out loud… before leaning in and whispering into his ear with a much more lascivious tone:

“…because you stuffing me with yer cock fer the first time and cumming inside me was firmly number one,” she teased.

Fredrick could feel his face blushing redder than a keyboard warrior on social media, but he did well to try and keep a more ‘neutral’ visage for the moment at hand. After all, it probably wasn’t socially appropriate to be sporting a sudden, pulsating hardon in the middle of a communal speech session… in front of all their friends and family.

He merely nodded with pursed lips.

“That’s fair,” he said.

Schnee shrugged.

“But… there are some redeeming qualities about you, Midnight. So, we can continue hanging out… for now,” she said, winking.

“And from there, my rambling aside, I’d like to bring it back to the newlywed couple here,” she dragged her gaze back to the two of them sitting on the thrones of honor.

“Stella. Fredrick. You both have come a long way… even from how far along you two were when I met you. And you two have consequently become better friends to me.

“Stella, from the day we first met to now, you’ve always been there for me. You’ve seen me at my highest and my lowest. Your friendship means so much to me… more than I’m able to express to you, soldier-to-soldier,” she said…

…and then turned to Fredrick.

“And Fredrick? I think you and I share a little bit more in common than you may realize. Both of us, in a sense, came into a world that we didn’t recognize… albeit in different contexts. And like me, I think you’ve managed to get a grip on an insidious monster…” she said, and then looked knowingly at Stella.

“And I’m not talking about your schwanz, either.”

“Wow, lass. Woooooow.”

“You two are amazing, I adore our close friendships, and I wish you two the happiest lives of peace, love, and lots of alcohol! Thank you so much for letting me share this with you,” she then finished.

The applause and residual laughter were uproarious, and Stella was first in line to embrace her tightly, having bounded out of her chair. Fredrick was right next in line to jump her with a massive hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Stella was the first to get her thoughts out of her mouth:

“Mate, we’re gettin’ yer pretty little flank drunk more often. This is not fuckin’ negotiable.”

Fredrick and she were on the exact same wavelength, and he decided to weigh in with mostly the same idea:

“Exactly what she said, Schnee! Thank you so much for being here… and for all of that,” he giggled, following up with a hug and an exchanged peck on the cheek.

“Nein, thank you two! That was fun!” she said, giggling as she skipped merrily back to her chair.

Once Fredrick and Stella took their seats again, Sveta was quick to announce the next in line:

“I have been informed that Her Royal Highness Princess Luna wishes tae go next! So… here’s the Princess!” she said and gestured towards the podium.

All eyes were on the Lunar Princess as she stood from her chair and glided towards the podium. Her dress—owing to its color—seemed to mesh with her coat and twinkled in the light of the Moon of her own making. She drew all eyes. Curiously adding to her natural allure was the fact that her entire demeanor had gone stoic…

...curious indeed, considering she was cackling a mere minute ago.

And yet, with a single piece of paper in her delicate grasp, she stood at the podium and cleared her throat. Fredrick was suspicious—and he figured that this stony exterior was likely going to be part of her act. Either way, he was about to find out!

His and Stella’s hands reunited with one another as Luna then stretched her neck from side to side. Her words were as cool and calm as her demeanor:

“Good evening, everypony. Now, based on the… riveting displays we’ve had over the last fifteen minutes or so, many of you would likely be expecting a similar act from myself! However, as co-ruler, I personally feel it would be…”

Luna twirled a couple fingers in front of her as her gaze shifted between the newlywed couple and the rest of those in attendance.

“...inappropriate, to take such shots at my subjects, even in jest,” she ‘admitted.’

Or at least, she tried her damndest to keep fronting that exterior. After years of knowing and having daily contact with her, he could read her mannerisms like a nutrition label when taking a shit in a public restroom without your smartphone for company. That subtle tug of the corners of her mouth—among other things—told all.

“However!” Luna said as she raised her index finger. “I make a very specific exception for…” she pointed lazily at him and Stella.

“...these two cretins, here. Though, mainly the bat.”

Fredrick smirked right back at Luna when she leveled her knowing gaze at both him and Stella… and his smile was further amplified when he heard Stella’s telltale, odd-mix-between-cackling-and-giggling. He really didn’t know the name for such sounds she was making, but god did they make him feel all fuzzy in the tummy.

Luna unfolded the single piece of parchment that she had with her, on which Fredrick could discern some bulleted, yet gorgeous handwriting.

“I would first like to address Stella, here… opening up with the fact that she is an imbecile,” she got right down to brass tacks.

“She is a hot-headed, temperamental asylum-tier retard of the highest caliber, worthy of even the shortest of bus chariots. And please bear in mind: I say this from a place of love.”

Fredrick already had his face buried in his hands laughing, while Stella was just giddily giggling girly-like… strapping in for the inevitable ride to come. It seemed that everypony else was doing the exact same thing.

“Which is why I would like to take this moment to further lend credence to my words and read off a list of… incidents I’ve compiled, that were either the direct result of her actions, were her actions, or actions she was indirectly involved with.”

Stella fell back into her chair and groaned.

“Ahhh fuuuuck me…”

“Heh, parents gonna find out some stuff for the first time?” Fredrick wagered with a snicker.

She nodded, her prideful yet smug face not abating in the slightest.

“Aye… but she’ll probably say some shit I fuckin’ forgot about anyway. I can’t wait fer a little… refresher!”

Luna cleared her throat and began reading with the same level of emotion… or lack thereof:

“As a corporal, convinced her squad mates to target practice with live ammunition by shooting apples off of each other’s heads.”

Fredrick heard Stella pipe up jokingly with something he had already heard by this point regarding that incident:

“One time! I did it once!” she faux-complained.

Luna promptly continued:

“Half-responsible in provoking a mass melee between the entire Lunar and Solar Guard.”

“WHAT?!” both Schnee and Vona asked simultaneously.

Vampir, who was sitting entertained in the crowd, only nodded a few times—wholly impressed. Stella then recollected with a valiant attempt at keeping herself together:

“HAH! Oh yeah! I did do that! PFFFT! Fuck me it’s been a while!”

“Snuck in one mare and one stallion from the Solar Guard into the Lunar barracks during Lockdown exercises… so they may engage in romantic and sexual relations with their partners.”

Over the audience laughter, Stella further objected with a bright smile after her own bout of snickering:

“Oi! Forgive me, Yer Majesty… but I shall not be the one tae stand between love!”

“It was a seven-hour lockdown exercise, Stella.”

“Love can be fleeting sometimes, aye?”

“Indeed?” Luna questioned with a faux-haughty air to her words. “Well, you know what was also fleeting at one point?

“Your career.

“You see, years ago, Stella was… erroneously passed up for promotion. The pony who should not have been promoted held this over her head at a tavern. She then delivered a very clever retort in the form of smashing his face into the counter and threatening to slice him with broken glass.”

Wide-eyed, Fredrick looked at Stella with an intense glare… though his hilariously astonished, open-mouthed gave his thoughts away.

“Excuuuuuuse me?”

Stella was too busy reveling in the nostalgia through her laughter to really care.

The Luna train was stopping for nopony:

“Threatened to… allow me to say this verbatim: ‘insert a rusty nail through a Solar Sergeant’s clitoris’ if she ‘ever so much as reflected sunlight in her general direction again…’ as a corporal.”

Fredrick threw his head back against his seat, his throat getting sore from cackling so hard.

“Jeeeeeeesus Christ, girl… what in the goddamn…” he remarked.

“Look mate… I was a wee bit fuckin’ slogged on me day off and she pissed me the fuck off. As I’m sure you know, I don’t have a lotta control over me mouth when I’m pissed… in both senses,” she reminded.

Fredrick was not convinced.

“Honey… you don’t have any control over your mouth to begin with. Do you remember the night we first met?” he countered.

Quite loudly for everypony to hear, Stella replied with the ‘shittiest-eatingest’ she was capable of… and only then did the human realize that he had set himself up for her next line.

“Honey…” she mocked. “That’s a fuckin’ lie, because ye know good and well I have perfect control of me mouth when I’m ‘inhalin’ yer Richard,’ as you say…~”

Fredrick buried his face in his hands, shaking his head as he laughed heartily.

“Uuuugh god I hate that you say that now, and I hate how fair that is…” he noted.

“And then there was my absolute favorite incident—when you unknowingly told me to… what was it again?” Luna asked rhetorically, bringing her parchment closer to her face, so she could make sure she ‘got it right.’

“Ahh, right! Stella was still relatively new when this happened. During a training exercise, a magical generator went offline unexpectedly. Stella was the only pony… lithe enough to fit under the damn thing so she could manually reset it.

“As she crawled under it—to where one could only see her hooves—she set to work while her squad mates watched and waited for unicorn engineers to arrive. I happened to be strolling right around the corner and inquired what she was doing underneath said generator.

“And apparently she did not know my voice well enough by that time, as Stella promptly told me, and I quote: ‘Mate, I’m giving her ye olde lickeroo to fuck-start this fat cunt and make her purr like cat in heat before the horned fucks arrive—what the fuck does it look like I’m doing, you fucking knob-goblin.’”

Fredrick needing to collect his jaw from the floor again aside, this was the first time he could recall seeing Vampir’s exterior utterly collapse and fumble to remain in his chair.

Luna threw her hand up dismissively and drew her gaze over everypony.

“I mean… these alone should tell you the kind of pony one is dealing with. And Fredrick, I have not the slightest clue as to what captured your attention, and what ultimately kept your attention.”

She then added under her breath, wide-eyed in deep consideration:

“The fellatio must be incredible…

“All that to say, sometimes a first… or fifth impression truly does not tell you much about somepony until you are able to properly work with them… or rather, witness their work.”

Luna focused her gaze on Fredrick now… and the poor dude was preparing for the worst.

“Fredrick… you are one of my best friends, so the whole ‘not taking shots at my subjects’ is a bit more relaxed around you. But really, I still partially feel bad about the whole sex reversal potion incident. From what Stella and you told me in our little post-mortem talk, I think you’ve suffered enough for a couple years.”

Fredrick threw an exaggerated thumbs-down and hollered with the aid of his free hand around his mouth:

“Boooo! Copout from the Princess!”

She was not at all fazed and returned his giggle-worthy display with a rather challenging stare.

“I could divulge—and then ‘roast’—you over the many… many… many dreams I’ve accidentally walked in on…” she said, as if pondering a course of action.

Fredrick was swayed by the audience’s salacious sounding ‘ooooooooh~’ and inquiring giggles.

“On second thought… that’s fair. Apologies for the rude interruption. By all means, continue,” he urged onward with a shit-eating smirk.

“That’s what I thought, Freddie~.”

Luna’s stoicism melted into a much fonder look, directed right at Stella.

“Despite all these incidents… you’ve been one of my most competent commanders of the Lunar Guard. Not only that, but you also command one of the highest approval ratings and strongest adorations of any commissioned officer that I have in my ranks. I’m including the whole military in that by the way!”

Fredrick blinked hard at that last assertion by the Princess, and he made sure to glance over at his bride and convey a wordless, pride-filled smile right at her.

“Captain—Stella, you’re a complete buffoon and simian of purest order. But you’re also an equally amazing, entertaining, and downright hilarious mare. The number of times I’ve had proper belly-laughs with you involved somehow is too many to count. And its these qualities, among many others, that—all jokes aside—I can see exactly why Fredrick has gravitated to your side this entire time,” she explained.

“And Fredrick?” Luna started anew. “For the record… though Celestia and I will always be eternally in your debt for ever ripping you from your world into ours… it has filled me with joy that you’ve managed to find a loving home here. You’ve been an absolute joy to have as a close friend, and I think I speak for the both of us that your future remains as bright as her Sun.

“You and Stella are perfect for one another, and I—and Celestia—could not be happier to be a part of your union. We wish you both the happiest of lives together. Thank you all.”

Another standing ovation, and the only difference was that Stella didn’t bound over to throw her arms around the Princess… she wanted to, that much Fredrick could see… but she hesitated.

Luna sure didn’t, however… when she bound up a shorter Stella in her grasp and damn-near cracked her spine trying to hug her with the cutest, childlike smile on her face. Fredrick was not spared the same treatment… and in fact he was also given a nice, wet peck on his cheek as a privilege of getting his lungs obliterated from her alicorn-strength bear hug.

Sveta was quick to keep moving things along as everypony retook their seats:

“Up next is the mare, the myth, the legend… one of Canterlot’s finest: Highground! Get up there, lass!” she commanded with smiles all around.

The mare in question stood up, ran a few fingers through her crimson mane, and casually made her way to the podium to applause from everypony…

…as well as to some sexual remark from Midnight that Fredrick couldn’t hear entirely… all he was able to glean were the words ‘Canterlot’s finest’ in that sort of speech. Either way, Highground appeared to hold to her namesake and not respond to it in the slightest.

She cleared her throat and gave a lopsided smirk to everypony.

“You know…” she began. “I was never really one to throw around insults and stuff. I think that’s probably most apparent from my entire relationship with Stella thus far.

“Our friendship’s mainly consisted of her getting riled up and angry over dumb shit… usually at me. And then me smirking as I let her make a goddamn fool out of herself. It’s been like that ever since we met… when she had barely turned 18 and was waiting to enlist in the army, and when I was a rank or two below what I am now.”

She brought the brim of her glass to her lips and took a gentle sip, followed by a refreshed ‘ahhhh.’

“Welp. If there is one thing I can say about this mare for certain: she’s remarkably consistent because she hasn’t changed a goddamn iota. It’s a damn good thing that you’ve got Fredrick as your eternal, personal tard wrangler… because otherwise I might actually have to file some police reports!

“Not even because they’re ‘bad’ per se. But like… whenever I’ve had to bail this mare’s ass out of trouble…” she pointed directly at Stella. “I was more… impressed at some of the shit she pulled or got herself involved in, rather than mad at some gross illegality.”

She took another swig of her drink… with a look that said that she needed to do that before she continued.

“Like… one time I got woken up in the middle of the fucking night after a reeeeeaaaally long shift. An eighteen-year-old Stella had ended up getting involved in underground prostitution, allegedly. I literally thought she started selling her body to the night right before she ships off to basic… so I’m ready to kill her. So, I throw on a uniform and when I get down there…

“No.”

Highground shook her head as she brought the thought to the forefront.

“Instead, she had apparently hung out with a couple girls from the local brothel and nearly started a riot at an underground chariot race. Everypony just assumed she was also a prostitute because of how… little she had on. And when the police arrived to break up the unruliness… that’s what happened.”

Stella was laughing uproariously as she appeared to remember exactly what happened. Fredrick’s own giggles flowed like an unobstructed stream.

“And…” she recalled, a half-smile crawling up her cheek. “I don’t remember laughing harder than I had that night. What happened was just so… ridiculous. So surreal that I just couldn’t believe I were on the same plane of reality at the moment.

“So yeah, I wrangled her back home and made sure she didn’t get into any trouble. Nopony got seriously hurt, so that was the silver lining.”

She took a moment so everypony could get their laughter out of the way, but she still found time to stare at Stella with a knowing smirk while just shaking her head.

“But I have to say… from then on, things seemed to get better. Before then, you and I were never ‘close’ in the friend sense. Hell, we were just roommates, really. But after that, I started seeing you more as a friend. And after more shenanigans, adventures… and even more shenanigans that didn’t stop even since you’ve been in the service… here we are,” she said.

“Back then, I was… really going though some shit within my family,” she pivoted a bit from her friendly lambasting and retelling of her friend.

She smiled fondly at the younger mare in question.

“And I don’t think I ever told you, but I’m so happy you were there to help put a bunch of smiles on my face… even if they were at the expense of my sleep.”

These words must’ve meant a lot more than just their surface, because to Fredrick, Stella herself seemed somewhat stunned at the way Highground was saying this.

“You really did help me through some dark times, and I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for that. Even though I don’t always like putting up with your bullshit, I hope that my friendship has made up for it.

“Which is why I was adored that you found somepony… someone that you actually felt like having a proper relationship with—FINALLY. And I’m even happier that I get to be a part of your goddamn wedding,” she said.

“And Fredrick?” she began anew. “Thank you.

“Thank you for always being there and keeping one of my best friends alive and in check. Thank you for giving her the love and support she deserves. I know I’m gonna get shit for this later over some drinks, but Stella means the world to me. Please keep her as happy as you’re doing through marriage and life.”

“You know I will, Highground,” Fredrick assured.

Highground beamed right back at him.

“And that’s all I needed to hear. As much as I want to shit on the rest of you here… I’m gonna take the… high ground on this one. But, thank you all for letting me take part in this, and especially you, Stella and Fredrick. I love you, Stella!”

And through the applause, Fredrick didn’t think he ever saw Stella move faster in her life to jump and embrace Highround. Even more than that, her eyes told all as she held the older batpony nice and tight. The sight was just…

…so. Wholesome.

What further tugged at his heartstrings were the soft words he could overhear as the two batponies held each other.

“I love you so fuckin’ much, HG. I’m sorry fer puttin’ ye through any grief.”

“Shut the fuck up, girl. I’ve enjoyed every bit of it. I love you too—I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks fer bein’ here, mate.”

Highground pulled back and Fredrick eagerly received her in his arms, holding her as tight as she was holding him… which was pretty damn tight.

“Keep her ass grounded, alright?” she implored.

Fredrick giggled as he patted her back.

“You know I will.”

And as everypony filed back to their positions, that meant there was only one pony left in the lineup… somepony that Sveta was all too happy to announce onto the stage.

“Absolutely beautiful… and now, we come tae the final, yet certainly not the least important of us all here tonight!” She began. “This one’s a—”

“Oh fuck off, lass! I don’t need a fuckin’ introduction!” Schiavona brushed past her daughter and strutted up to the podium to another round of laughter.

And in another wholesome moment, Fredrick heard Vampir whistle—attracted—at the smol-er batpony mare who had taken her designated position. He knew for a fact that that would be him several decades from now, still married to Stella.

Well, at least the catcalling part. He could only hope to be as jacked as Vampir was. That was one long-term goal to work on. He had already accepted the fact that he’d never be as much of a chad as him.

In a bout of joking surprise, Sveta re-took her seat, and Vona began speaking in earnest with the brightest of smiles on her face.

“Right! Well… here’s the thing,” Schiavona began. “As much as I want tae just make fun of Stella until the end of the night tonight, I don’t think anythin’ will really come of it.

“Because honestly, I shit all over her on a daily basis—with love, of course! And there’s nothin’ I could really say right now that I haven’t even said tae her already… again, on a daily basis,” she explained to a few errant chuckles. Fredrick’s included.

“…and with love, of course!” she reiterated, giggling.

“And I mean…” she threw her arms out. “Even if I did partake, it’s not like I could top anything that’s already been said. Ever since I pushed her outta me, she’s consistently been the best joke I’ve ever made, anyway.”

The laughter was immediate, and Fredrick was an unwilling participant… but Stella seemed to predict her mom’s answers from a mile away:

“I FUCKIN’ KNEW IT!” she declared before joining in herself.

“And… there’ll be plenty of time tae continue that as time rolls on,” she said. “Which is why I’d like tae use this time fer more… productive and dare I say, ‘wholesome’ reasons. This won’t take long,” Vona continued.

She reached behind her neck to the clip of the necklace she was wearing—one which Fredrick hadn’t even noticed up to this point—and undid it. It fell limply and bunched up into her palm, but she took extra care to make sure it didn’t tangle up. And as she took careful strides towards a curious Stella, she held it up for all to see.

“This simple necklace… of a golden chain and a single, violet crystal, is a family marriage heirloom. The chain has been replaced many times throughout its life, but the crystal is what’s more interestin’.

“For you see, my child,” she now addressed Stella personally. “This is The Sabre’s Crystal. Your father gave it tae me when we married, as his father tae him, and his grandmother to his father, and so on. We can trace its possession through the Sabre lineage—as well as some others—fer… quite a few generations. It’s said tae channel all the love ye have fer one another… and keep it as fresh is it was when you first tied the knot.

“Oh—and don’t worry, Sveta,” she reassured. “There’s somethin’ fer you when you’re hitched off as well.”

Sveta smirked, nodding.

“I know, mum.”

An enamored, starry-eyed Stella nodded with rapt attention through the murmurs of the crowd as she continued to listen. Fredrick as well was completely taken, but he was able to sneak a glance down at Vampir… who looked like he was actually about to cry.

“Mum…” whispered Stella.

“And with that,” she held the necklace in front of a wide-eyed Stella. “You were the first tae marry—which surprised both yer father and me. We expected Sveta tae beat ye by a long shot!

“The torch be yours tae carry this, and hand it to yer child or in-law as you see fit,” she said, placing the chain around her daughter’s neck, clipping it in place much like it was for her previously.

She kissed Stella’s forehead, and then pulled back while still softly cupping her cheeks.

“You’ve grown so strong, me daughter. While we’re happy tae see you find someone ye want tae settle down with, we couldn’t be more thrilled that it was somepony around even the same league as Fredrick here,” Vona gestured to him.

Fredrick blushed, but his own feelings were thrust aside when he saw what looked like goddamn anime waterfalls pouring from Stella’s eyes.

“Through all the banter, we just want ye tae know how happy you make us.”

Stella sniffled.

“All I ever wanted tae do was make you and dad proud, mum.”

Schiavona stroked Stella’s cheek with her thumb.

“You already have—and continue tae do so every day. I love you so much… now stop cryin’ ya fuckin’ poof yer gonna fuckin’ get me started.”

“Oh fuck off ya nyaff,” Stella replied and pulled Vona into the tightest hug yet to much applause.

Meanwhile, Fredrick sat all fidgety and beaming in his chair—this shit was getting much too wholesome for his own health. All that he was happy about was Stella getting fawned over… and this was amplified fuck-fold when Vampir made an appearance on the stage to properly embrace his daughter.

And it was sure something to see Stella’s entire form being enveloped by Vampir.

But as all these pleasantries drew to their close, that meant everypony who needed to, had already spoken. Sveta sailed right back to the center of the stage with an excited smile plastered on her face.

“Alriiiiight! Well… that was fuckin’ rivetin’ if I do say so m’self! Now I think we can all kick back and enjoy the—”

“Oi fuck right off, cunt!” Stella stood up and motioned for Fredrick to do the same. With a smile that matched hers, he got to his feet… knowing exactly what was planned and what was about to happen. This was gonna be fantastic.

“It’s our turn now!” she said when she stepped up to the podium. Fredrick was right behind her.

“Indeed it is! At least… to just have a quick word,” he said. The shit-eating grin he had was probably gonna remain on his face for the rest of his life.

Stella scooted over just enough where Fredrick could also get behind the podium, though their arms and hips had to cozy on up a bit, which was totally fine by the both of them.

Stella looked at Fredrick and beamed.

“How’re you, love?”

“Oh I’m fuckin’ fantastic. Peachy as all high hell in case you couldn’t tell! Today… well, tonight’s been a fantastic time!”

“Oh aye?” Stella dared to ask, much to everypony’s amusement. “And just why could that possibly be?”

“Well…~” Fredrick brought a finger to the side of his mouth, gazing up at the heavens in ‘deep thought.’ “I just happened to get hitched to Equestria’s Hottest Piece of Ass tonight, so you could say I’m kinda balls-to-the-wall stoked right now,” he ‘enlightened’ her.

Stella giggled all girly like.

“Is that so? Damn… I’ll haftae meet her some day! So I can remove her fuckin’ duodenum fer ever thinkin’ about getting’ with me stallion!”

Fredrick blinked hard and looked right back at her, on the verge of cackling again.

“For fuck’s… what… do you even know what a ‘duodenum’ is?”

“And do you know what the ‘Thestral Banana’ means?’”

Fredrick was actually confused now… and was debating if Stella was even part of this act anymore. He shook his head.

“N-No I don’t.”

She replied oh so jovially whilst batting her eyelashes:

“Well mate, it’s what’s gonna happen tae ye if you don’t stop asking me if I know what a duodenum is!”

“I suppose that’s fair…” Fredrick said, giggling. “But damn… that was quite the show from everyone. Where the hell do we even start to address all of these?” came his rhetorical question to his wife.

She clicked her tongue as she smiled lopsidedly.

“I think I’ve got an idea… why don’t we start from the top?” Stella asked.

Fredrick was keen to play off her.

“The tip top?”

“Aye! Even more fittin’ when the tip top is too top heavy that she has trouble fittin’ in her top, aye? How goes it, Sveta?” she set her sights on her sister with an evil grin.

Sveta meekly waved back at her, to much giggling from everypony present.

“Say Fredrick… isn’t it interesting…” she began. “…that she said you were in me shadow in our relationship… but her own lovely personality lives in the shadow of her own under-tit?”

The cackling and ‘oooooh’s were telling. Sveta buried her forehead in her palm and shook her head while pursing her lips. She at least put up the usual middle finger as would be appropriate for the situation.

Fredrick put faux-consideration to Stella’s point, all while doing his damndest to not laugh his ass off. This was all so ridiculous, and he loved every second of it.

“That’s a really good point, babe,” he replied, nodding. “I also find it funny that you, Sveta, are the epitome of the perfect mare. You’re physically fuckin’ indistinguishable from perfect, and you’ve got a hell of a brain on your shoulders…”

“Aye, that she do.”

“…and somehow you’re still flat-on-your-ass single, so you’ve got dick to say about anything,” Fredrick concluded by making a heart at her with his hands.

Stella nudged Fredrick’s side with a knowing smirk.

“More like she doesn’t have dick, innit?”

Though everyone—including Sveta—were smiling and laughing all in good fun, Midnight’s guffawing was a bit of a cut above the rest, and in being reminded of her existence in that moment, the duo focused on their next target.

“Midnight!” Stella called out rather aggressively, so much so that Fredrick felt adrenaline get shoved straight up his poopdeck and he jumped in his shoes.

“Don’t even fuckin’ laugh at Sveta, girl. You’re in the exact same fuckin’ boat as her! Perfect pony fantasy and fuck-all tae show for it!”

Midnight objected to that rather heartily:

“That’s not fuckin’ true!” she said as she scooted her chair much closer to Schnee’s… the latter who turned her head very slowly towards her wondering what she meant by that.

“I beg your pardon, Midnight??”

“Then beg little flower~.”

Schnee’s rather serious front was crippled by whatever Midnight said to her and she fell into her own cackling fit.

Fredrick found the perfect opportunity to weigh in though:

“Jesus Christ, Midnight… with that reaction and your obvious size differences, how the hell did you even get her to ‘snuggle’ with you that one night? What did ya… give ‘er a fuckin’ dandelion or something? A flower for her flower?” he speculated.

Schnee’s and Midnight’s mouths plunged to the floor, and Stella started laughing so hard, she needed to stabilize herself on Fred’s shoulder and the podium… lest she fall to the floor.

“HOLY FUCK MATE!” she squealed, burying her face in his neck as she still heaved.

“Mein Gott, Fredrick! I’d appreciate if you didn’t murder Mitternacht in cold blood on stage!” Schnee added to the fire.

Fredrick almost felt bad for that remark. Almost. But once everypony calmed down, Stella took the reins again and moved everyone forward with the previous remarks as a jumping off point.

“Ahhh Schnee… you’re too fuckin’ adorable fer yer own good sometimes, lass!” she said before downing the rest of her own drink.

The mare in question blushed through her own giggling. Midnight, seemingly by instinct, scooted even closer to her… as if said giggling was magnetic.

“But really, maybe you’re right! I’m not exactly that mare of merit and… righteousness or whatever the fuck you said. But here’s the thing lass. Tomorrow mornin’, I might become that mare. But you’ll still be a cunt, so who wins out in the end?”

It was Fredrick’s turn to almost collapse from the podium, and his lungs were having massive difficulty taking in air. It was good that Midnight conspicuously scooted next to Schnee enough, because the poor mare looked like she was having a stroke from laughing so hard. She needed to be held and propped back up with help from the larger batpony.

Alcohol and ‘the bants’ were one hell of a combination.

Once Fredrick regained his shattered composure, Stella’s last blitz was the perfect platform to move them on:

“Heh, well… Stella, you sure Schnee’s the cunt? Because from some of the shit Princess Luna was just detailing right there, I think you may be deserving of that title a lot more than her.”

Stella shrugged, open-mouthed smile and all.

“Oi, I was bringin’ spice tae the guard force! Her Highness took a solid bet on me and it paid off clearly,” she said.

Luna clicked her tongue.

“It appears that way, yes… but there is still time for that investment to tank~,” she pointed out.

Stella appeared more than a little accepting of that.

“Aye, that’s fair enough, Ma’am.”

Fredrick blinked as he turned to her.

“Geez… didn’t think you’d just roll over and take that, hon’. You goin’ soft on me?” he dared ask.

“Nah mate… but you tell me how good of an idea it is tae sling shit at both yer employer and one of the most powerful mares—physically, magically, and as a head of state—in the world?” Stella countered.

Fredrick nodded in consideration.

“Ehhh yeah, I guess that’s pretty true. The princesses are my employers too, actually. But beyond that, I’m more afraid of Luna’s previous threat to reveal my deepest dreams that she’s apparently been snooping on,” he added, and shot a knowing look to the Lunar Princess…

…who returned a much more innocent one that could make anypony’s blood boil in a less light-hearted situation.

Stella cocked an eyebrow.

“Mate, you really that fuckin’ anxious over her puttin’ em in all the papers across the country?” she asked.

Fred nodded once, deeply.

“Ooooh yes. In fact if I had the choice, I’d much rather get a handjob from Schnee.”

The poor flower mare, who was taking another drink from her recently topped-off glass, choked and spit out her gulp of the elixir—wide eyed—to the chorus of both uproarious laughter and those ever-juicy ‘oooooooh’s. Midnight slapped her hands to her mouth in some attempt to stem the tide of her gut-busting, leg-swinging laughter but to little avail. Vona, Highground, and Luna looked almost impressed that those words came out of Fred’s mouth. Sveta literally fucking squealed.

Stella, having been resurrected in the past ten or so minutes, was now categorically deceased again.

“NO. FREDRICK NO! BAD FREDRICK! HOLY FUCK ME!” she managed through shrieking laughter.

She fell to one knee behind the podium, with one hand up top for support. The reactions from everyone around him fueled the humor fire in him and he-himself was having problems stemming the tide of tears streaming down his cheeks from his own maniacal cackling.

He helped his wife up and shook his head as everypony calmed down, and he turned to face Schnee… who had pursed, ‘disapproving’ lips that were desperately trying to veil how funny she found the remark. She even shook her head at him for good measure.

Fred gestured open-handed to her.

“Fuck… I actually feel bad for that one, Schnee. I’m sorry, hehe,” he giggled.

Schnee only responded—in complete deadpan—with a dismissive wanking and cumming gesture RIGHT at Fredrick with her ceramic hand. That alone amplified everyone’s laughter for another round as she and Fredrick shared a moment together. It also allotted time for everypony to collect themselves after that exchange.

Stella wiped the tears from her eyes and sighed out, her pearly whites taking precedence on her face along with her golden eyes glinting in the full moon above.

“Whew… didn’t expect that outta either of ya, mates,” she said. “Well… and I think we’ve already covered mum and Highground over here since they decided tae be super wholesome or some shit. Fuckin’ queefs.”

“Hmmm…” Fredrick replied. “I think you’re right! Which means all that’s left is… you.”

Fredrick faced her, and Stella faced him in kind with an equally mischievous smirk.

“Aye… that means you, too.”

Wordlessly, the two took each other’s hands and let their gazes zero in on each other’s eyes. They knew what had to happen now… what they didn’t get a proper chance to during the actual ceremony. And both couldn’t be more excited—for once in their lives—to get the words out of their mouths and into the open, regardless of who was watching or listening.

Hell, with the crowd, they hoped they would listen.

Fredrick sighed, a blush taking over his face as Stella’s eyes bore into his, comforting any possible remaining nerves that weren’t silenced by the alcohol and laughter by now.

“Oh, Stella… what can I say about you?” He began. “Never in my life did would I have reasonably expected to end up right where I am… holding your hands and officially married to you. It doesn’t make sense.

“None of this…” he gestured around to everything. “…makes sense. One thing I’ve maybe told you once or twice in passing as a joke, but it’s actually kinda true: I fear that one day I’m gonna wake up and this has all just been an elaborate dream.”

Stella quietly listened, wide-eyed as she was taking in his words. Her smile never abated, and she only nodded for him to continue.

“Well… I’m happy to say that I’ve been lucky in not waking up so far,” he said with a smirk. “So either this isn’t all a dream, or if it is… I hope I never wake up. Because right now, I much prefer waking up here getting to see your gorgeous face every day. But now? I look forward to waking up next to you so it’s much easier to see your gorgeous face every day,” he added to a small chorus of giggles.

“I love you, Stella. I don’t know… but maybe somehow, I knew the day I met you that I loved you. You’ve been there for me when I was at my absolute lowest and helped carry me forward. I can’t tell you exactly how amazing you make me feel every day… but I hope I can repay it all back to you in giving you just as many warm fuzzies that you give me.

“I vow to you, Stella, that you’ll want for nothing… and as your husband I will make it my life’s goal to keep you smiling. In a universe of literal magic, you’re my entire world.”

Those words felt like heaven itself to get out into the open… properly. And Stella seemed to be ready to pick up right where he left off, though this was dampened a bit by a chorus of applause and adorable ‘awwws’ from everypony. Apparently, that’s all it took to break her a little more, and Stella had to wipe her eyes.

“Fuckin’ hell…” she muttered shakily.

Nevertheless, she reaffixed her gaze back onto his and held his hands just as tightly.

“Fredrick…~” she began. “I didn’t know what tae expect the night I met you. Hell, I thought I was just gonna get a show with some freaky-lookin’ fuck… well, I did in the end, heh.”

Fredrick rolled his eyes, even through the pain of smiling right now.

“But I never expected it tae lead tae this… anythin’ like this. As I watched you get used tae yer new life here, I grew tae admire you and yer spirit, even if you were a bit of a goofy, nyaffy sod. And through that, I thought you were… fer lack of better words, fuckin’ hot. I don’t think you knew how badly I wanted tae get at ye.

“Really, me intention was fer a sort of ‘mates with benefits’ situation. But when I got tae know you even deeper, I realized I wanted more. And even through that, I never would’ve predicted our last couple years together. I wouldn’t change it fer anythin’.

“I love you, Fredrick. You’ve been with me through me cuntiest and you still stayed. I vow to you, Fred… that as your wife, every part of me is open tae you… including me entire heart, which you’ve held onto fer quite some time. I may be yer world, but yer me everythin’.”

Another round of ‘awwwws’ from the crowd… and an especially adorable, combined squee from Midnight and Schnee. Combined with those powerful words and how regal Stella looked under the extra-bright moonlight, Fredrick nearly lost his cool in front of everypony… though a little bit of liquid pride managed to escape his eyes.

Just a little, though.

Fredrick pursed his lips through his hopeful, prideful smile and nodded.

“Well… then I guess you’re stuck with me,” he declared.

Stella cocked an eyebrow.

“I’d have it no other way, love…” she said, and then quickly tacked on with a cheeky smirk:

“Especially if the ‘glue’ holdin’ us together is yer cu—”

“MY ISN’T THAT JUST SO GODDAMN WHOLESOME!” Sveta interrupted at the right moment before Stella did what Stella was oft to do.

And the way she said it made Fredrick and Stella burst out laughing together, though they quelled that on their own by sharing another intimate kiss while Sveta continued to ‘herd the cats.’

“At any rate, while these two take their sweet time suckin’ face… that concludes our pre-party festivities and the rather… unorthodox exchanging of the vows,” she reflected with a giggle.

She snapped right back to her beaming, toothy grin.

“Which means that it’s time tae really start partyin’ it up! Give these two squatbubbles the night of their lives!” she declared, and then began sequentially pointing to different areas of their venue.

“Get more drinks! Get some food! Go play some games! Go fuckin’ dance!” she declared, then gestured to the rest of her band that was sitting at their designated table.

“It’s time! Come on, lasses! Let’s play it up tonight!” she beckoned over, ready to get set up on stage.

And still holding a hand with his wife after they separated from their kiss, Fredrick witnessed everypony breaking and doing their own thing. Schnee whisked Midnight away to get more drink and food… especially the latter it seemed because of Midnight’s lightweighted-ness. Vampir—hilariously—scooped up a stunned Vona and hauled her onto the dance floor, where some music already kicked off while Sveta and her band got properly set up. Highground sat at the front, kicking back and more than happy to take a breather from being in the limelight.

Luna and Celestia also seemed to be making a beeline for food and drink. Fredrick could only wonder how that was all gonna go. He had only seen either of them drunk a couple of times.

Those were… interesting times.

With his arm around Stella’s waist, Fredrick looked upon the scene of jubilance and splendor, and glanced over to his wife.

“So… what now?”

Stella smirked.

“How about we eat something, get fuckin’ drunk, and dance until we pass out?” she suggested.

“God I love you so much, Stella…”

“I love ya too, Fredrick… so so so much more than ye know. Now let’s fuckin’ goooooooooo!”

And with that Stella whisked him away by the hand off the stage, where their path across the dance floor and towards the food tables seemed illuminated by the stars themselves. That was more than likely just the alcohol taking effect, though… at least in Fredrick’s opinion. Their plan, however, was dashed almost as instantly as it was conceived when—the moment the two stepped onto the dance floor—they were swarmed by everypony in the area that wanted to deliver a much more personal congratulations.

Fredrick was stunned as a small lake of younger thestrals—all Stella’s cousins, some extended family, as well as some of acquaintances—congregated around them. Stella seemed right at home, beaming in familiarity at all the late-teen and early-twenties (he wagered) faces staring right back at them as they all exchanged banter and pleasantries.

As for him, he felt much like he did the first time he met Stella—a deer in the headlights. It was the same exact feeling, except several times worse given the sheer number of relatives who were excitedly crowding him. For a while, it seemed that his marriage to Stella would be a short one, as it was patently obvious that everypony here hadn’t seen a weird human before. He’d probably be smothered to death by a pure Scottish entity.

Thankfully, salvation came in the form of a much more familiar relative of Stella when Fredrick’s arm was yanked to his left. His entire body followed suit with a mighty lurch.

Schiavona squeezed him tightly around his torso with a bright smile and a massive squee.

“Congrats, love!!! And thank you so fuckin’ much fer takin’ Stella off our hands!” she gleefully exclaimed, pulling back just to look up at him.

Fredrick didn’t get to respond as Vampir cut in with his hand… which Fredrick gladly shook. But even more than that, the larger thestral opened his arms to him with his own wide smile.

“Welcome tae the family, son!” he exclaimed.

Thankfully Vampir didn’t crush his lungs through said embrace, which meant that Fredrick was able to live to properly thank his newly made in-laws.

He beamed right back at both of them, and even more so when Schiavona and Vampir took hold of him for a three-way hug this time.

“Thank you both so much for letting me become a part of it!” Fredrick said. “I’m just glad you two wanted me to even stick around in the first place!” he joked.

Vona cleared her throat.

“Say it…” she ordered through a knowing, gritted smile.

Fred cocked his head.

“Say. It. Ya know ya want to…~”

With a swelling heart to go along with his ever-swelling smile that hurt his cheeks to sport by this point, Fred sighed and nodded.

“Oh alright alriiiiight,” he began to his expectant in-laws. “Heh… thanks… mom and dad.”

And to Fredrick, it didn’t feel at all weird to say such a thing… in fact, it felt right. If there were any doubts in the slightest, they would’ve been quashed the moment Fredrick heard—and saw—Vona squee and bounce in place. She then promptly threw her arms around his neck again.

Nothing else needed to be said, and the knowing and prideful look that he and Vampir shared during his embrace with Vona told all. For all intents and purposes, Fredrick was now officially welcomed and a part of clan Sabre.

What a time to be alive.

First greetings of the night quickly made way into their first meals with everypony around them, with Fredrick and Stella inseparable at the hand by this point. And in turn, that gave way to proper dancing and drinking once Sveta and her band had taken the stage. In continued flouting of tradition, Stella and Fredrick did not have a ‘formal’ first dance, and instead let their tipsiness take root as they danced to the greatest hits Sveta’s band had to offer.

One thing that Fredrick did make sure of was to not get blasted drunk despite his earlier thoughts. He didn’t want to run the risk of getting into the festivities so much that he went full blackout and forgot aspects of this momentous night. Apparently, Stella seemed to be on the same wavelength, as every time the two of them went for drinks, she appeared to consciously limit herself to whatever Fred was drinking.

And even more than that, the two seemed to be even more on the same wavelength… as Fredrick needed to break from the festivities of the dance floor to cool off and grab some fresher air after a couple hours. Having wandered to the edge of the courtyard, he was joined by his wife, who followed him not-too-long afterward.

“Hey there, gorgeous!” he greeted eagerly, leaning against the courtyard railing and bathing in the ambient noise of the party still raging.

Stella brought herself right up next to him.

“Sup, fucker?” she ‘greeted’ in kind.

“Living in this moment, my dear. Almost feels… surreal. Like it’s not even happening even though it is. I mean… I can feel the air cooling my skin. I can feel this railing of the courtyard border. I can touch you,” he explained, and punctuated by reaching for Stella’s face and cupping her cheek.

He could, indeed, feel the smoothness of her skin combined with the microfiber-esque feeling of her facial-coat… and he could definitely feel that smile of hers forming against his palm.

“Hehe… It’s not a dream, love,” she giggled, blushing a bit under the bright moonlight that served to warm him up as well. “You sure ya didn’t have too much tae drink mate? Or… maybe you had somethin’ else when I wasn’t lookin’ if yer getting’ all fuckin’ handsy with everythin’ like this, aye?” she jokingly insinuated.

Fredrick smiled for the thousandth time tonight, though he sported a rather sarcastically unimpressed look in return.

“Nah… I guess subconsciously my mind has a teeny problem reconciling the fact that I could even get with—let alone marry—a mare like you. Of your caliber.”

It was Stella’s turn to look unimpressed. She declared:

“Oh yer still on about that? It’s been fuckin’ years now, mate. Get used tae it: yer stuck with me lad, whether you like it or not by this point!”

She snuggled into his side, and Fredrick happily accepted her as they looked out into the distance beyond vantage of the courtyard. He then lay his head atop of hers.

“Heh, I could say the same thing right back to you again, babe. I love you.”

“I love you too~.”

“Just promise me one thing, lad?”

“Hmmm?”

“No queefspawns fer at least five years, please?”

“Girl, not a fuckin’ problem at all! Heh, whaddya say we have a few more adventures on our own first before we give Vona a grandchild?”

“Language of love, Fredrick. Language of love.”

Epilogue

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Bonus 1. [Clop] A Day to Remember

Author's Note

This took a lot longer than I wanted it to. For that I apologize lol.

Do I even need to preface what's in this chapter? Y'all already know what's... coming. I just hope it was worth the wait. Enjoy, y'all, and by all means, comment below your thoughts. Definitely wanna hear what people have to say.

Bonus 1. [Clop] A Day to Remember

Neither of them wanted to go too terribly far away. At least, not yet.

Schiavona really, truly wanted to send the two of them abroad to some lavish castle in Anglomaneia where they could get away with some equally-lavish activities to boot. They understood that mom—with dad happy to support whatever she proposed—just wanted to spoil the newest couple within their family to the best of their ability. In truth, it was neither Fredrick’s nor Stella’s styles, and they wanted to travel on their own time… further amplified by the fact that Stella in no way would allow her parents to spend that much money on them, let alone her.

Fredrick had the fortune to be a fly in the room for that conversation before the wedding. He and Sveta just had some drinks on the porch while he was certain that somepony was gonna die inside the house that night. Sveta tipsily, jokingly offered her hand in case Stella was fatally stabbed by Schiavona, to many giggles amongst the two of them.

No one could ever take his dark angel’s place.

But… perhaps in another universe?

After much ‘debate’ and ‘well-reasoned words’ that were shared between Stella and her parents, compromise was finally agreed upon. The two would have the finest guesthouse that the lusher, mountainous city of Whitetail had to offer for a whole three weeks, along with the ability to travel anywhere within Equestria with a prepaid, unlimited-use train ticket, valid for that set period of time.

That way, the two wouldn’t be ‘based’ too far away, but had the ability to travel to all the lesser-walked areas of Equestria, and see some of the sights that the two had only heard of in books or by hearsay. Even so, the city of Whitetail being right in the middle of the Whitetail Woods was a majesty in its own right, which landed the two of them their own comfy outpost high upon the lush mountainside. All brought together by the temperate weather and the rather consistently scheduled rainfall, the two had all the scenery that they could ever want.

Even if there was a whole nation to explore. They had time.

Regardless, those were plans for the future. What was much more important, was the ‘now.’

Midday was at its apex by the time the newlyweds were stirring. It was… a long day, yesterday, though both would lament that it certainly wasn’t the good kind. It consisted of getting their shit together, ensuring they caught the train, and being confined to a pair of passenger seats for most of the best hours of the day. By the time the two had managed to even check into and be escorted to the ‘Outpost Over the World,’ they barely had enough energy to take in the sights, let alone settle into their more… baser instincts.

Once dinnertime had rolled around, they were fast asleep in each other’s arms… where they found themselves still!

Though, currently, they were by no means asleep.

The heavy rain blanketed the sea of green just outside their wall-sized window… a window that led to the wooden balcony if one wanted a further look at the grand, lush Whitetail Valley below. As hard as the rain was pouring in a torrent from the sky, it was in no way as hard as Stella bore down on Fredrick the moment the two arose from their deep slumber a mere thirty minutes ago.

That early bedtime and accompanying slumber did wonders for replenishing their energy stocks.

Perhaps Stella and the rain had more in common today than one might suppose. The sheer force in which she fell upon Fredrick was certainly enough to eclipse the cascade just outside. But, she—like the rain—blanketed him with a gentle elegance that Fredrick could only appreciate from the deepest pits of his heart.

And the deepest, throbbing veins of his dick.

Indeed, any fog of mental fatigue that remained from the previous day was casually wafted away when Stella rolled on top of him… and greeted him into the waking world with her soft, familiar lips on his. His residual sleepiness was easily dealt with as her lips embraced his in a confidence, yet gentleness that just made his heart race laps. Even as Fredrick let his eyes fall shut anew at the sensation, he had no intention of drifting off.

He was physically incapable of doing so.

And even more than that, as their soft make-out had continued in earnest, further spurred on by Stella’s soft thumb caressing his left cheek… Fredrick also found himself barely able to resist the temptation to lay his eyes on the mare above him.

His mare.

His wife.

After several sessions of kisses that ended, only to be set alight anew after the collection of some breath, Fredrick gave in to further temptations. Their final kiss broke with the tiniest echo of a ‘smack,’ and their mouths hung suspended mere millimeters away. Fredrick let his eyes—blurry from the lack of use—finally open, and gaze upon the one who had placed her weight upon him.

Both physically, and in his heart… in all the best ways.

It certainly helped that she was completely nude. Both of them were. But his eyes dare not wander lower to more charted, well-traveled curves of Stella’s body: Fred was completely fixated with those golden pools above him. Those predatory, elongated pupils of hers never failed to hypnotize him… and perhaps even more-so now than ever, as Fredrick fell astray in the beauty of her face.

His dopey smile threatened to tear muscles in his cheeks. His blush would probably be permanent at this point. But it was all worth it to see Stella smile so warmly down at him… for her to feel compelled to just run her fingers through his rather unkempt bed-hair.

And to finally avert her gaze behind some of her mane, as her own blushing directly competed with the pride of her external self-image. Red-hued cheeks truly looked wonderful in contrast with her gray coat and skin.

She finally spoke up in a voice of ‘wounded’ pride:

“I fuckin’ hate you, mate…”

Fredrick giggled.

“Do you now?” he asked. “That’s why you totally started this whole thing the moment you woke up… and pulled me from my own blissful slumber so we could have a steamy, naked make-out session in the middle of the day?”

“Oh fuuuuuck you, cunt.”

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow, and eagerly took the opportunity to pounce on those words with the sultriest of smiles:

“I’m starting to think that was your plan all along, babe~.”

Stella bobbed her head in faux consideration.

“True… aye you know me, mate. I’d never turn down a nice little napping sesh from you, ever. Buuuut, maybe I’m fuckin’ eager. Ever think of that?” she asked.

She planted a soft kiss on his collar bone, and Fredrick damn-near shuttered his eyes as she began working her lips up his neck in a rather familiar trail. A trail that was probably highlighted permanently on his skin by now. She knew his weaknesses well by this point, as he did hers… to the benefit and detriment of both of them.

God he loved this mare so much.

He waited with bated breath as she stopped halfway up. He could feel her smile against his skin as she started prattling on:

“Maybe… ever since I walked down that aisle, I wanted tae fuckin’ tear that suit off’a ya. Maybe durin’ the afterparty, I wanted tae whisk ye away tae somewhere private and fuck yer brains out… did ye ever think of that, love? Maybe… I just wanna feel yer hands aaaaall over me because I miss ‘em.”

Her kissing promptly continued upward in earnest. After lavishing his earlobe with a lone lick as was custom since they started dating, Stella planted a wet one right on Fredrick’s lips. However, as he was ready to deepen said kiss once more and fall into the velvety embrace of another midday make-out session, his mare suddenly pulled back. He flicked his gaze to either side of him, and noticed that she had placed both her hands on either side of his head for support whilst she leered down at him.

A wordless—if still rather unsubtle—way of telling him that he was trapped right where he was. T’was a predicament he had no problem finding himself in. And moreover, while he got to stare up at that familiar, predatory gaze that always made him hard at an instant, Fredrick got to lay eyes upon two of his most favorite objects in the world.

He took zero qualms in running his own hands up Stella’s lithe, yet firm and powerful core… then traced lines up her back, over and through her wings as best he could, until his supporting grasp had meandered to just below her tits.

Having bitten his lip by now, Fredrick returned her challenging gaze with his own.

“You know I love putting my hands on you… and you never have to ask for permission to have them on you,” he said.

Her lopsided smirk was telling… and Fredrick was still surprised after all these years that she could still manage an even sultrier look than her last.

“Oh is that so~?” she replied, and sat just a bit more upright.

She licked her lips, and spent just a fraction longer running her tongue over her famous snaggle-fang as she launched into a lascivious giggle.

“Careful, love…” she added, along with a more-than-appropriate warning:

“When ye give me privileges like that…”

She placed her hands atop his, securing them right to her body.

“I tend…”

She brought his palms right to her tits, and as if by magnet, attached them right to her… holding him against her like any of her bras would nestle and support her bosom.

“…tae abuse ‘em~…”

Fredrick let out a shaky breath as her soft tits took up the perfect amount of space in his palms… and a little bit more. They were so familiar by this point, as he practically got to lay eyes on them and play with them at any opportunity he wanted to. He could count on one hand the times Stella actually refused his advances… and they were mainly because she actually had shit to do or she was coming down with something.

He had been told many times by others his senior that seeing one’s partner in the nude would eventually ‘get old,’ in a manner of speaking. Not in a bad way, but that it would become almost routine and uneventful.

Well, so far, Fredrick felt that he was proving all those ponies wrong. Because seeing Stella in all her revealing outfits and naked absolutely never got old. Just like the last time, he was completely diamonds by this point. And likewise, having her big tits in his hands was always what got him truly going. He could feel himself completely throbbing underneath her… his member pinned to his body by Stella’s own, soaked, pussy.

He squeezed both her tits together, mashing them firmly enough to form that mouthwatering chasm of cleavage he loved so much… but still softly enough that his actions only elicited a soft sigh from Stella. The fringes of a soft moan graced the accents of her exhale, and Fredrick took this as his cue to continue on his merry way.

Continuing to bite his lip at intervals—whilst ensuring that he actually continued to breathe properly—he kept her tits squeezed together… only to reveal her already-hard nipples from behind the veil of his palm. Using his fingers to keep them pointed directly at him, he resisted nature’s call to take them right into his mouth… for now, at any rate. Instead, he opted to brush his thumbs back and forth over her diamond-hard nubs, followed by tracing opposite circles around them.

Toying with her was always part of the fun.

Seeing Stella’s eyes fall shut as she inhaled always did wonders for his confidence in how he ‘handled’ her. This created a direct feedback loop into making him impossibly harder. It always amazed him just how a lust-filled Stella had this much of an effect on him, even when he wasn’t the one on the receiving end of the lavishing. Like some form of sexy battle meditation, his batty mare seemed to radiate her pleasure outward in a way that his own body responded to three-fold.

His heart, much like his cock, continued to swell.

And only then did he decide to give into his instincts, and pulled her torso down just enough where he could guide one of her hard nipples into his mouth. He wasn’t sure who moaned first, considering the moment her nipple graced his tongue, he conformed his muscle over her nub, embracing it like a long-lost best friend.

Though, when he began slurping and sucking to his liking, then he could tell that Stella was much louder than him. Not that he wasn’t happily and contentedly humming at having his wife’s tit in his mouth—this was a life goal for him, after all. But Stella losing herself, and even attempting restraint was certainly the prominence in the room. And Fredrick only wanted to hear more and more of it.

Her angelic tones aroused him so much that it was making him… hungry. Insatiable, even. As he tugged her nipple backward with his suction a bit—something that Stella adored—he continued to cede more and more control to this hunger.

Stella was certainly not complaining.

“Ahhh… Fred… mmmmph~,” she groaned when he tugged back a little harder than usual, and punctuated her continued vocalizations when she stumbled in the support of her arms.

Fredrick knew her mannerisms like the back of his hand by now: Stella’s ‘control’ and composure were breaking down. Just as planned.

His ‘aggressiveness’ with her tits was amplified by her vocal exhortations to continue, and the lines were being blurred now on whether he was only just trying to please her… or himself as well. Hungrily lapping up a little bit more of what he could and leaving her nub even more swollen and hard than when he ‘met’ it, Fredrick released the vice-like hold on her nipple with a wet ‘pop…’

…and promptly re-attached his mouth to her right tit. He showed none of the gradually diminishing restraint that he had with her left one, and went right for the figurative jugular… if the jugular was suspiciously in the shape of Stella’s dark, hard nipple. Fredrick tried damn near to inhale Stella’s entire breast into his mouth, attempting to take in much more than just her nipple into his maw. ‘The whole tiddy,’ as more educated scholars would say.

Stella gasped… then purred.

“Oh my fuck~!”

Again, all according to Fredrick’s grand design. But something that Fredrick consistently forgot to bake into his ‘grand design’ to toy with Stella to his liking… was Stella’s inherent ability to totally disregard his plans on her own accord. And substitute reality with her own.

Fredrick felt Stella shuffling in his grasp, and he pulled back to get a look at what was going on… only for her to break completely out of his hold and just… press herself into him. Much like when she would go into heat, she began just, whimpering, moaning, and nuzzling herself into his bare skin wherever she could, seemingly channeling a carnal desperation in which she just needed to touch him.

His dick was going to actually explode if more and more blood managed to stuff itself into it. The mere sight and touch of this girl was quickly becoming too much, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take before giving into his baser, caveman instincts. And it seemed that Stella was ‘suffering’ a similar fate as he was, as she started hungrily kissing and gnawing at his neck…

…and then his chest…

…and left a trail of kisses further and further down his body, culminating with her flinging the bed covers entirely off so she could get an uninterrupted view of her prize.

Fredrick lifted his upper body off the bed with the help of his elbows for support so he could see just what Stella was getting up to down below… and was greeted to the sight of her hungrily gazing at his fully-erect dick. He watched with bated anticipation as she looked like she was debating on where she wanted all this to go. He knew where this would lead—no question about that considering the carnal look on her face… his face too, actually.

But Fredrick dare not say anything as Stella contemplated on the manner in which she wanted to address his raging morning-but-actually-midday wood. Though, if she didn’t decide soon, the raw anticipation would probably make him explode prematurely. It further didn’t help when Stella sighed out and shut her eyes, all before pressing the side of her muzzle into his rod, nuzzling it like a friend.

That lip-bite was much too cute for her own good, though.

In the end, she did make a decision… for better or worse.

Stella giggled, a knowing smirk on her face and a daring spark in her eyes as she leaned her chest forward, and let her already-damp tits fall sloppily around Fredrick’s dick. The softest fringes of the feeling of her silky-smooth breasts against him was enough to send him groaning… and averting his gaze momentarily lest his body bring an abrupt end to the fun without his consent.

She apparently sensed his struggle, too, and giggled as she oh-so daintily brought her ‘girls’ in line around him… and nestled him perfectly in the grasp of her bosom.

“Havin’ some trouble there, love~?” she asked.

And as Fredrick managed to cool the engines just enough where he could even look at her without cumming, he managed to gaze into those lidded eyes of hers. Of course, that was after taking in the sight of his painfully-throbbing dick right in her tight cleavage.

“Fuck… you know exactly what you’re doing…” he groaned.

Another evil giggle from her that devolved into a straight up, pleasure-filled moan. She squeezed him a little tighter around the base of his dick with her tits, and coaxed out a nice, healthy bead of precum out of his tip.

Stella then cocked a teasing eyebrow, and never let that horny smile of hers fizzle away.

“Of course I do!” she said. “I’m gonna milk you fuckin’ dry with these tits that ye love sooooo much~. The fuck does it look like I’m up to~?” she declared.

And with that, she let her tongue loose, and let dribble a massive dollop of her own saliva onto his dick. She then worked it in with his own precum via the generous use of her breasts… then squeezed him nice and tightly once more. Fredrick needed to channel some meditative techniques when he felt her warm tits in conjunction with the now-cooler, slimy, pseudo-lube concoction.

“Ahh~… there we go…” she sighed out, seemingly enjoying the act much more than she outwardly was…

…and boy was she enjoying every bit of this.

Fredrick slowed his breathing… the pure pleasure that tingled and radiated out from his dick was almost overwhelming already. Something about the whole ambiance, on top of the teasing and lack of release for the last couple of days, was already sending him to the brink. If Stella moved just right—or he moved an inch just wrong—he’d blow immediately.

He didn’t even have the brainpower to devote to responding to any of her quips, as a result. Fredrick needed the full force of his concentration to pull himself back from the brink before Stella got any ‘funny’ ideas.

“Oi there, sexy… look at me~,” she implicitly asked… her demand wrapped up in the softest, sexually stymied plea.

He needed a couple breaths to muster up the strength to do just that… and the sight alone made him throb painfully in her ‘grasp.’ Fredrick lost himself once more in those golden pools of hers… eyes that he could see naught but the deepest love and supermassive lust she held for him and him alone. They glinted with an extra aura from the ambient light that he couldn’t rightly place.

But he adored and cherished every moment of it.

“I love you so much, Stella…~,” he groaned.

The batpony’s cheeks visibly colored, and she hummed all cutesy-like as her smile devolved into a bitten lip.

“Yer so fuckin’ cute when ye lavish me, love… and I love you too… but lemme show you some ‘proper love,’ aye…~?”

And with that, Fredrick was thrown back into the cauldron of pleasure as Stella began massaging his length with her ‘girls.’ Really, she just worked them over the base and middle of his shaft like she was trying to relax him as opposed to just outright making him explode as quickly as possible. Fredrick appreciated the sentiment for sure, as he wanted this feeling to last forever, but it would only be a matter of time before his lovely mare would just tip him over the edge.

Stella giggled when he released a sexually-pained moan, followed by some harder panting. She put forth a rather rhetorical bit of toying:

“Mmmm… there we go, somepony’s enjoyin’ his throbbing. Hard. Cock all nice and cozy between his hot mare’s big tits, hmmm~?” she dared ask.

He managed a response. Barely.

“You… you have no idea, babe~...” he struggled.

Stella flashed her pearly whites, chuckling all cutesy again before moaning out her rebuttal:

“So predictable… so sexily predictable~.”

That’s when she really started gliding her tits up and down the full length of his shaft, though not so much moving her torso as she was just properly working her tits over him. Like a well-oiled piston engine full of unbridled lust for her human husband and adoration for his fetishes, she jerked his length through her tight, now-quite-slippery cleavage.

As for Fredrick, he somehow always found a way to compare so much to the concept of ‘heaven.’ Being a superfan of his wife’s tits, this was naturally always a dream come true for him. Through his brief bouts of mental coherence in a battle to stave off the inevitable for just a little bit longer, he recalled how Stella was always reticent to give him, as she would so endearingly call it, a ‘proper titwank.’ He had always been so busy being balls-deep in her that he had forgotten to ask by the time they were done… and it turned out that Stella found it super hot after seeing how Sveta worked him over during their triple session with one another.

In a rare admission of her insecurities, Stella came forward that—during the first time she ever let him bang her boobs—she feared she wouldn’t measure up to Sveta by virtue of the size difference.

Naturally, for Fredrick, this was absolutely ridiculous, and he had been making it a habit of fucking her tits more on the regular. He adored it more than he’d be willing to admit, and in an odd bit of extra upside, it rocketed Stella’s confidence over her already more than ample chest to the moon. The resulting, implicit trade was: he got more titfucks. She got a confidence boost.

Everyone was a winner.

“Fuck…~” he managed to eek out when his attempts at a stalling reverie had now failed. As such he was brought right back to reality and right on the precipice of an explosive end.

“Jesus I’m fucking close already…~”

“Oh aye~?” Stella asked, and that cute little upward inflection of her words was almost enough to do it.

She then squeezed her tits as tightly as she could around his length and bit her lip challengingly.

“Fuck them. Paint. Them.”

Those words ignited a tiny little fire inside him, and adjusting his position for the final, figurative push, Fredrick sat up, gripped the back of Stella’s mane (much to her immediate, giggling pleasure) and pumped his length through her slick, tight valley.

“Mmmmph… so rough, love~.”

She didn’t even need to say anything else, but he used those words and the sight of the head of his dick appearing and disappearing again and again in her bust as a guiding light…

“Shit… Stella I’m…~”

And his dick then felt like it was practically melting at how hard his climax hit him. He exploded right into her cleavage. Stella’s neck and the underside of her chin were caught in the collateral damage with each subsequent volley his cock fired off with each little, twitching micro-thrust he had to give. His teeth were gritted and every moan that fell from his mouth further colored Stella’s cheeks.

Not that she needed any more ‘coloring.’

When his eyes focused themselves again once his climax passed, he could see just how creamy white her chest was. He was honestly surprised none of it made it up to her face with just how much force his dick jettisoned his seed over her neck. A pool of his cum lay at the top of her valley, and all the excess dribbled over and down her tits like the hottest icing on an even hotter dessert.

That gorgeous, bright, accomplished smile though… was just the cherry on top of everything.

She giggled all girly-like.

“Hehe, holy fuck… good boy…~,” she said, and after giving the base of his dick one last little squeeze with her tits.

He shuddered at the contact, but it did well to wring out whatever drops of his jizz remained before she pulled back. He had similar words for when he was able to ‘survey the damage’ in full once she let her tits be born naturally by gravity.

Fredrick finally managed a response after recollecting himself a bit more:

“Holy fuck indeed… though… heh… you look so fucking hot with my cum all over those tits,” he mentioned.

She kept her lip bitten as she gazed down at the damage herself. Her entire cleavage was just matted white. Massive globules of his essence barely clung to her skin and tufts of coat, though she made sure to catch all she could in her hands before they fell to the floor beneath her.

Stella then glanced back at him and winked.

“Don’t I~?” came her rhetorical response… all before she started scooping up every bit of his cum into her fingers and hands…

…and then promptly brought her digits to her mouth and sucked—and licked—them squeaky clean.

Fredrick could practically feel his pupils dilating at the sight, and Stella knew exactly what she was doing as she stared into his eyes the entire time. He watched as she exaggerated the movements of her batpony tongue, swirling and encapsulating entire tips of her fingers as if she were sucking his cock, cleaning herself of his marks. And when she was done with that, she merely scooped more of his load into her mouth…

…until there wasn’t but a trace of the literal explosion on her chest.

She punctuated this accomplishment with a kiss and click of her lips, along with an equally exaggerated ‘ahhhhh~.’

“Finger lickin’ good tae the last fuckin’ drop~,” she so declared.

And goddamn he wasn’t exactly flaccid anymore after that show she just put on. The goofy grin he sported spoke volumes more than anything he could actually say to her right now. Though, he did manage a couple appropriate words as he exhaled that breath he didn’t realize he was holding:

“Christ…”

Stella returned that smile of his with one of her usual, shit-eating grins that promised many, many good things to come. Especially when she glanced down to his re-hardening dick.

“Well, you definitely saw somethin’ ya like, handsome~,” she cooed.

And Fredrick was ‘whisked away’ once more in the form of Stella placing both her hands on his shoulders… and then tenderly pushing him onto his back. With a view like this afforded to him, he sure as hell didn’t feel compelled to put up any resistance, and eagerly watched his mare’s every move. From the looks of it, she appeared to be getting into position to mount him… and then possibly ride him until his spirit was milked once again.

But in another masterful subversion of his expectations, once he was laid flat, Stella instead snuggled up to his right side. He turned to face her, hoping to get a nice wet kiss out of it, but Stella used her muzzle to turn his cheek forward, giving her complete, unfettered access to his ear…

...all rounded out when she finally lay a dainty hand on his hardening length, and started agonizingly slowly stroking him once more.

She spoke softly:

“Nuh uh, love~… lemme get ya aaaaall primed up again.”

Fredrick chuckled.

“Wait… heh, there’s more? Shit, you’ve already done a hell of a job already… Mmmm~… when do I get to take care of you now?” he asked, his words only being tripped up when Stella’s thumb brushed just right on the underside of his head.

Her gentle, yet firm, precise stroking of his length—combined with her freshly-used tits pressed up against his arm—had already set him back to almost full-hardness after a ball-draining of that magnitude. But what really got him back to the point of ‘throbbing’ was Stella’s heavy, aroused breathing right on his ear… which was then unceremoniously taken up a notch when she instead began nibbling gently with her lips on his earlobe.

Fredrick didn’t even care how undignified the moan that slipped out of his mouth was. He was in absolute heaven right now. And he in no way wanted to fall back to the mortal earth when his core was light enough to touch the gods of this world.

“Hehehe… always, fer you love~,” Stella cooed. “I want ye back tae full fuckin’ mast fer me. I. Am. Drainin’. You. Today.”

Fredrick’s dick pulsed painfully—a ‘good’ pain—in her grasp at those words, and he barely managed a coherent:

“O-Oh fuck…”

Stella never let up her verbal ‘assault,’ but Fredrick could hear that challenging, toothy grin. Her rhetorical question was almost expected:

“Good idea, I guess?” she asked. “I thought ye might like that~… but ya know what I like, Freddie?”

“Y-Yeah? And what would that be?”

“I love bringin’ out that rough side of you… just like when ya took control just now? Fuck it gets me so fuckin’ wet. Maybe that’s why I love doin’ what I do, aye?” she pondered with that infuriatingly—yet undeniably hot—innocent tone she pulled off so well.

Stella continued, purring:

“Teasin’ you… goadin’ you… windin’ you up tae the point where ya can’t take it anymore, and you just fuckin’ take me how ya want me. Use me~.”

Fredrick bit his lip so hard he thought he was gonna draw blood. Further, when Stella followed those words up by drawing her tongue up his neck… it all sent most of the blood he had in his body right into his already-engorged length.

“Y-Yeah?” was all he could manage.

Stella nodded against him.

“Mhmmm~… all part of the plan, love~. Maybe today I just want ye tae fuck me into the bed… break the supports. Make me fuckin’ scream and beg fer more. Make me so loud that our nearest neighbors down in the Valley below can fuckin’ hear how good yer fuckin’ me?” she so eloquently said.

She was going all in. Fredrick knew well that she was trying to tickle every single part of his lizard-monkey brain right now… and the best part was that she was succeeding with flying colors. Yeah, his cock felt like it was about to burst again from how much blood Stella managed to ‘coax’ back into it… but the real change was in his core and his heart. The plane of arousal he was ascending to was one that he rarely found himself on. And with Stella—his gorgeous marefriend-turned-wife—having been the one to make him feel the way he was in this very moment…

...it was really lighting a fire inside him that he wanted to stoke even more.

Stella, in her beautiful hubris, either did, or did not, know the consequences of her actions as she prattled on:

“I want you tae fill me up… in more ways than one~,” she alluded. “Pump me full tae capacity. I wanna fuckin’ leak yer cum when you’re done with me. Remember what I said?

“Use me~.

“Fuck me~.

“And if we had all the other necessary ‘materials?’

“Breed me.”

Those words did it.

That fire he wanted to stoke had suddenly been fanned into a proper inferno, one that would burn to the figurative sea. Immediately, his entire relationship with his marefriend seemed to flash before his eyes. With his initial meekness when arriving to this unknown world, to his willingness to just let her take control and whisk him away on untold adventures of platonic, romantic, and sexual variety… Stella had more or less been the leader.

And Fredrick had always been okay with that. He had never felt like she emasculated him, nor treated him any less, like a ‘weakling’ that needed to be coddled. Of course, he’d ‘take control’ on many occasions when he felt confident enough to do so, or when the situation called for it… especially in bed, much like earlier. But it was usually only fleeting or in small bursts, because no matter what Stella said, he was terrified of actually hurting her in any way.

A silly fear considering the sheer physical resilience and conditioning of this mare he now called his wife… but a real fear of his nonetheless. One that he’d never forgive himself if it ever came to pass.

But this time… those words. Almost feeling like some sort of magic was at play, his entire body seemed to suddenly be aroused. And Stella was encouraging—no, demanding—that he make her the outlet.

It was different now.

He loved her with all his heart.

She was his.

He would have her.

He would claim her.

Like a trapped animal bursting forth from its cage, Fredrick instantly, nigh explosively, reversed their positions. He watched with a carnal pride at how Stella’s eyes went completely wide in complete and utter shock… before closing halfway in her ever-challenging gaze.

“Well...~ hello there handso—OH FUCK AHHHNN~!”

Fredrick gave her no time to react, as he just gripped the base of her mane where her ponytail would normally be, and craned her head to the side. He then promptly sunk his teeth right onto the crook of her neck, while doing well to lavish her skin with his tongue and lips.

The first of many marks he intended to leave today.

He felt Stella shuddering underneath him, and even more so when he used his free hand to stroke down her arm and her side… though what really got her going was when he sunk his teeth just a little more into her skin all while firmly soothing the ‘affected’ area with his tongue. The whimper that fell from her muzzle was just too goddamn cute for this world.

And too goddamn hot for him not to springboard from.

He extricated himself from Stella’s neck with a rather wet, suction sound… and then gave her one last little kiss there before he moved right to her mouth. Fredrick slammed his lips against hers, muffling any words she was about to say, and instead transforming them straight into lustful giggles and hums as she fell right in line with his plans.

Fredrick felt so… full right now. All the love and lust he had for this mare in his grasp seemed to just multiply by the second as his plans began bearing fruit this early. He could feel Stella’s muscles just relaxing beneath him, effectively melting under his already more-than-forward advances on just her mouth and neck alone.

And he was just getting started. He would make sure this was a day—and eventual night—to remember. In more ways than one.

As he rather forcefully reintroduced his tongue to hers within their mouths, Fredrick was rather cognizant of their position… and the subsequent positioning of the hardened steel that was his dick: the head pressing right against Stella’s mound, just a mere inch or two above her slit. It was an easy bit of maneuvering to lay his length against her now-decidedly soaked lips and start grinding up against her, nice and easy.

To start, at least.

Fredrick smiled as Stella’s reaction was immediate… and they had to break their kiss just so she could breathe and whine properly. He lost himself in those lidded, golden eyes of hers for the umpteenth time… the pools to her soul that he just wanted to cannonball himself into and never dare to get out. As captivating as they were… and as loudly as they were screaming for him to get on with the show, he was having way too much fun right now.

The main course would come in due time.

He watched as Stella bit her lip again and finally worked up the ability to speak… though ‘speak’ was a generous term, and Fredrick would liken it more to a desperate whine.

“Fuck… Fredrick just fuckin’ put it in me already, please...~!”

Fredrick grinned down at a struggling Stella… a mood and state she was rarely in and he intended to drag the moment out as long as humanly possible. To add a little extra pleasure to heighten the desperate experience for her, Fredrick then placed both his hands on her wrists, keeping them pinned right where she was.

He teased:

“Really now, Stella… begging like a lust-drunk slut? Hardly your style~.”

Could she realistically break out if she wanted to? Absolutely. While he weighed a little more than her by virtue of height, Stella had more than enough muscle and know-how to thrust him off of her.

But from the way she contorted and fidgeted underneath him… along with yet another aroused whimper from her lips… she did not want to change anything about her current predicament. She was enjoying every minute of this, arguably more than he was right now.

He ground his length once more over her pussy, partially coating himself in her wetness, and evoked another reaction from her in conjunction with his words:

“Nhhnng… Fredrick… I fuckin’ need it…”

“Then beg for it. Really beg for it, babe. You really need me to stuff you full? Tell me how much then… go on. I’m not doing a goddamn thing until you do~,” he challenged.

Stella appeared almost stunned that he would demand such a thing, even if he was just teasing about it a few seconds earlier. Fred wiped that away immediately when he put forth a figurative carrot in the form of his cock, when he pressed the head just beyond her labia. He watched her shut her eyes and grit her teeth… and he could’ve sworn he saw the fringes of an aroused smile on her face.

Nevertheless, her answer came like a torrent of desperation… and using words that far exceeded Fredrick’s expectations:

“YES!” she groaned out. “I fuckin’ need it! I need yer hard dick inside me!

“All of it!

“I’m a fuckin’ lust-drunk slag who can’t go a fuckin’ day without cumming around yer cock and I’ll fuckin’ go nutter without it FREDRICK PLEASE! FUCK ME!”

Well. Holy Shit.

Those were the magic words to him, and without further ado, Fredrick righted his posture, and used his hands to further spread Stella’s legs apart and out as far as they could go… which was pretty goddamn far considering how flexible she actually was.

And from there, it was an extremely simple matter of lining himself up again and plunging himself into her without any semblance of warm-up. Stella’s giddy giggles morphed into a sudden squeak of shock, and then elastically snapped right back to more giddy moans and cries of relief as Fredrick started pounding down and into her.

“Fuck… FUCK! YES!” she cried out, curling her legs up so Fredrick could stabilize himself better on the bed.

“PRESS. ME.”

Exactly the plan, though her own commands interjecting were not part of it. Fred had an idea to get everything back on track: He delivered a firm slap to the side of her ass, eliciting a rather aroused mixture of pain and pleasure from her.

In a shock at the suddenness, he felt her squeeze tightly around him.

“I’M CUMMING!”

Her lower body quivered, and it seemed like she was trying her hardest to suppress her extra moans from such a sudden-onset orgasm. Fredrick gave her some reprieve in slowing down his motions… though, Stella squeezing her thighs and knees around his midsection gave him all the cues to continue hammering her.

He stopped nonetheless, briefly, and then said quite tersely:

“I didn’t give you permission to fucking talk, slut. The only things I should be hearing out of your filthy mouth are ‘yes,’ ‘don’t stop,’ ‘please,’ ‘harder,’ and ‘more.’ Mkay?”

Again, stunning a salivating Stella stupid and silent.

Fred didn’t move, and had no intention of resuming the mating pressing Stella was loving until he heard the answer he was looking for. He grinned at her challengingly this time, doing his absolute best to mimic the very same smile she had given him day-in and day-out for the last several years he’d lived in Equestria.

She nodded, and through her orgasm-laden fog, meekly replied before biting her lip:

“Y-Yes… please…”

Any actual meekness was belied by how hard she began throbbing around him again when those words had left his mouth.

He lowered his eyelids further, and giggled evilly at his mare having essentially submitted to him fully.

“Good girl~.”

“Nnnmmmph~...”

And with that, he got right back into position. Like a well-oiled piston engine, he thrust his entire length into her depths with all his weight behind him each time. The moans that fell from Stella’s mouth, combined with the slick wetness and throbbing tightness around his length was enough to lose himself in… and his mind focused on one thing: his own release, using Stella’s gorgeous body to his own desires, just as she so demanded earlier.

And yet… in an odd, paradoxical feedback loop, he in no way wanted this to end too soon. Seeing Stella in just pure ecstasy beneath him, writhing, uttering complete gibberish, eyes barely open yet radiating lust, and that tongue lolling out of her mouth just made him even hornier than he already was, balls-deep in her.

Stella cried out shrilly once more:

“OH… FUCK!”

To his absolute shock, she suddenly came a second time… and Fredrick blinked away the facade momentarily to make sure he wasn’t waking up in a dream and accidentally fucking Sveta.

Nope… Stella’s gritted teeth and throaty moans took prominence in his ears like the works of art they were, and her flexing core finally went limper again.

He fucking loved this mare.

“Mmm… god… enjoying yourself, slut?”

He helped extort a rather exuberant answer out of her when he resumed his motions… and on top of that, grabbed a firm hold over one of her bouncing tits.

Her response was noticeably slurred and sharper in pitch on some of her vowels:

“YES! FUCKIN’ LUNA’S MOON, YES!!” she cried out. “I loooove it~! Please… don’t fuckin’ stop~... p-please~!”

Fredrick pinched her nipple between his knuckles. His lone supporting arm was screaming for help and reinforcements, but he’d let it go lame before not finishing what he started.

“Mmmph… yeah Stella? You like getting fuckin’ pressed like this? Heh… fuck… getting your legs spread and cunt stuffed?!”

She stared intensely right up into his eyes and nodded, almost looking like she was gonna tear through her lip with how hard she was biting it.

“Aye… yes… plea—SHIT!”

She shut her eyes again and relished in all the pleasure when Fredrick hilted in her particularly hard… something that he was keen on repeating from here-on out. And he knew he was doing well when he felt her tighten around him a little more… something that he certainly enjoyed, and had to actively stop himself from blowing a little too early. He wanted to enjoy this a little longer, for her own sake and his.

“Oh fuck… god your pussy feels so fucking good… good girl~,” he praised.

Stella’s cheeks colored, and she involuntarily writhed at those words of praise… so much did she seem to enjoy that that she partially ignored Fredrick’s earlier commands about her new, temporary vernacular.

“Fuck… me… more… fuck yer good girl~... faster…”

And so he would, supporting himself with both hands again as it now seemed like he was trying to drill down through her and into the bed itself with his thrusts. It could probably use a little bit of an extra makeover with their combined juices leaking onto the comforter and sheets beneath them.

“Faster… like this??” he asked, leering lustfully down at her. “You just want me nice and deep, huh?”

“Yes!! I want it deep in me! Cum in me!!”

Under normal circumstances, Fredrick would acquiesce to that demand, and lord was he right on the edge… but she wasn’t in charge here. And this gave him the perfect opportunity to rest himself just enough to drag this out in a way he wanted to.

He slowed his pace to a crawl.

“Heh… demanding now?” he asked, cocking a teasing eyebrow.

Stella looked like she was about to burst from frustration, and a rather undignified whine most uncharacteristic of her fell from her muzzle. She tried her hardest to move her hips on her own, but her position under him didn’t afford her such luxury. As Fredrick had already made sure, she was at the whim of his mating press.

And it was a whim he would exploit to the fullest, thrusting extra slowly so she could still feel all the pleasure she loved… but not enough to take her over the edge again.

“N-No…No! Please…” came her desperate complaint.

“You only get my cum if you cum again… think you can manage that?”

She nodded so vehemently, Fredrick thought she was gonna snap her own neck.

“YES! Please I’m so fuckin’ close again! Please Fredrick… baby… shoot it inside me! PLEASE I NEED IT!”

He wasn’t deaf to her use of ‘baby…’ which she never used to address him as she never particularly liked calling him that.

Fredrick started picking up his pace again… not matching his previous thrusting cadence, but enough for Stella to start crying out again.

“I will, Stella… I’ll shoot it deep into you if you cum for me~...”

“Freddie please… I’m so close… use me cunt… fuck it until you cum!”

“Oh fuck I’m gonna fill you up~...”

“Please!! Fill me! Use me! Rut me! BREED ME—OH MY FUCK!”

She tightened around him immediately, and he watched as her core flexed… and then came her desperate groans of release as she exploded harder than she had previously. Fredrick was not far behind in the slightest, as the combined feeling and sight of his mare climaxing hard sent him right over the edge a second time.

“STELLA—FUCK!”

“YESSSS!”

His own explosion seemed to draw out her orgasm further, and their combined cries of peaking pleasure chorused together as his hilted cock drained his balls fully inside her. In what felt like he was practically injecting her womb directly, every little micro-thrust deep into her slit spilled more and more of his seed therein. By the time he was done and his balls probably assimilated back into his body from how much he spent into her… he felt as if he lost a couple years of life from how much and how hard he had cum.

A new record for his most powerful orgasm. He’d want it with nopony else.

Moans finally gave way to gentle whimpers, sighs, and heavy breathing as they remained how they fucked: joined at the nethers in the last throes of the mating press.

Fredrick was more than content to just remain buried in her like this… a feeling that felt much more pure than lust-driven as his post-orgasm high evaporated. As his sex-fueled ‘aggressiveness’ gradually faded away in kind, Fredrick’s immediate concern was for Stella… he sure as hell knew that she was enjoying herself in every sense of the word. But like with before, he’d feel horrible if he hurt her in the slightest during his surge of lust-filled confidence.

But in taking a few deeper breaths to calm his heart rate, and clearing his mind enough to listen properly, a dopey smile formed on his face… as all he could hear was the batpony mare literally giggling with satisfied hums. He victoriously got to witness her ‘fucked-stupid’ face on full display. Her eyes were barely open, not seemingly focusing on anything in particular, and the open-mouthed smile of hers was equally as inviting as it was cute and arousing.

The latter in normal circumstances, at least. After that last dicking he gave her, Fredrick’s body would protest any further activity. His entire body was spent.

The sound of the rain striking the roof of their little retreat again took prominence now that the sounds of sex died out entirely… only at all matched by the softest breathing and moans from Stella beneath him. Perfect ambiance for laying down and relaxing—even napping, which is something that sounded amazing right now after that sustained burst of energy.

And so Fredrick pulled himself out of her entirely… feeling a residual, sharp, pleasurable tingle in his loins as he did, as well as evoking another soft moan from Stella all the while. Once he was out of her fully, and after he watched as she oozed his thick pearlescence onto the stained sheets beneath her, he allowed himself to collapse onto the bed next to his mare.

Stella let her legs fully fall once more, as well.

The most surprising piece of it all was that Stella hadn’t said a goddamn thing in the last couple minutes since she came explosively. Though he knew for a fact that she was fine… more than fine, Fredrick decided to smugly check up on Stella… first by running his hands through her now-rather-unkempt mane.

And then by asking:

“Heh… hey babe… you good? Still alive, Stella?”

The immediate response to his query was a mixed garble of more satisfied giggles, hums, and just generally pleased sounds of cuteness.

“Heh… holy fuck… mmmmm~... Freddie~...”

Fredrick chuckled as he ran his hands down her neck, and then her back, tracing soft lines in her coat. His smugness persisted, and the pride he had in making his mare feel this good laced his words a lot more than he normally would. The smile he was sporting was gonna stay for a good while as he rode this high, and his cheeks would likely be hurting for the foreseeable future.

“Yes, my dearest?” he asked.

There was finally some ‘physical stirring’ from her when she braced her hands against the bed. In a shaky attempt to get herself onto her side, almost like a newborn horse attempting to stand for the first time, Stella finally managed—with apparently great difficulty—to shift herself toward him.

Which allowed Fredrick to stare into her eyes once more, much like how they started the day before it devolved into the igniting makeout session.

It all came full circle.

And in those eyes, much like before, he could see nothing but the purest, deepest, most longing expression of love for him that he could ethereally feel. Beyond that absolutely cum-drunk, lidded gaze was a look that warmed the deepest pits of his heart and stomach. A look that continued to validate all the feelings he had for the mare laying next to them… one that returned those very same feelings back to him, with more than enough interest to live on.

Her words were still slurred… yet carried no less weight:

“Mmmm~... Y-Yer… perfect, mate. I looooove you…~”

Fredrick scooted as close as he could to her, and went right in for the deep, meaningful kiss that he had been dying to give her since he came. He was happy to lead it, too… even if it was out of necessity, considering that Stella seemed completely sapped of energy at the moment to further entrench their hold with her own arms. She was oh-so happily limp.

Her tongue and lips returned the kiss with a vigor that nearly surpassed his own, though.

And after a good minute of this, Fredrick retreated from the kiss and just… smiled.

“I love you too, Stella. So much more than I can ever show you.”

The dopey, love-struck smile and touched hum she uttered would sustain him for weeks. Despite how amazing he felt right now, laying with his mare after properly fucking her senseless… the taxation was beginning to take its toll. Sleepiness was starting to overtake him… and in still gazing at Stella’s eyes, it looked like she was in similar straits as him. They had done one hell of a deed, after all… and Fredrick wasn’t exactly opposed to yet another midday napping session with her.

Stella tiredly whispered her next words, and daintily gripped one of his hands:

“You show me… every day…”

His chest felt like it was gonna burst into a billion butterflies, and take his stomach with it. But even that wasn’t enough to stop his eyelids from falling shut completely. His massive grin remained though… and it would probably be bolted on his face still once he woke up a little later.

Though, as enticing as the prospect of the aforementioned nap was… there was one rather primal urge that tended to prevent falling into a full sleep.

His stomach grumbled something fierce.

Oh right. We had one hell of a bone sesh… and didn’t even do our bodies the courtesy of eating anything today.

Fredrick turned onto his back and gazed tiredly at the ceiling, listening to the rain that continued in its ceaseless torrent. There was more than enough good stuff in the fridge and pantry to put together… the whole shtick of this vacation house was it being fully furnished and stocked, after all.

But the pleasant mental fog shrouding Fred’s mind made it so that he held not the slightest desire to manually put something together, himself. With his energy sapped, it would be much easier to send a quick, magical letter down the mountain and have something delivered to them. It had worked like a charm the previous night when they were just as tired, upon arriving.

He still had no idea how it actually worked though. All these years in Equestria and magic was still an enigma to him.

“Hey Stella? How does Zephyrian Food sound for—”

His words stopped as he turned to Stella again, and he sighed out with a lovestruck smile at seeing her having passed out entirely. Fred watched her for a few moments… gawking at the cute, satisfied little smirk on her face as she breathed deeply and softly. The urge to stroke her face was too much, and as he sat up, he placed his right palm on her cheek, and ran his thumb over her skin and small little tufts of coat present.

“Heh. Zephyrian Food it is~.”

And then planted a small kiss on the tip of her muzzle before carefully getting to his feet and making his way out of the room.

He’d handle dinner for tonight.

Bonus 2. For Tonight Only

[Ponyville | ~Two Months After the Wedding…]

The lone expletive rolled off his tongue most pleasantly as he stretched his arms overhead. His fitted, teal T-shirt rode up his stomach ever-so slightly.

“Fffffffuuuuuuuaaaaaaack…”

And at the apex of stretching his limbs to the point where he risked popping his knees out of their sockets, Fredrick felt the blood flowing back into his legs. The trip from Canterlot to Ponyville may not have been nearly as long as, say, the line to the Northern Mountain Range… but it sure seemed to age his limbs orders of magnitude faster with the goddamn seats on the ‘Friendship Express.’ They were barely serviceable. At best.

And thankfully the shorter route meant that he wouldn’t need to amputate his legs… yet.

Stella, who had sat right next to him, reached for his hand and beckoned his own fingers with the playful clenching at the empty air towards him.

He’d never get tired of seeing that ring on her finger.

“Righto, love! Let’s fuck off outta here, aye?”

No way in hell he was gonna pass on taking her hand… especially when she specifically requested it. He was all too happy to get off this train, anyway.

“Yep… gladly!”

With backpacks slung over their shoulders, Stella was ready to duly lead him off the train among the slew of other, multi-color-coated passengers who were disembarking in Ponyville as well. And within thirty seconds or so, Fredrick finally set foot in Ponyville, surprisingly, for the first time in his entire tenure in Equestria.

Stella smiled in her usual fashion as she gestured grandly towards the small town-center just in the distance.

“Welcome tae Ponyville, hotcock!”

Stella’s pet names never got old.

From the first look from the vantage of the train station, it was… quaint. He smiled calmly while nodding.

“Heh, thanks. Diggin’ it already! Starting to wonder why the hell you never took me out here to begin with… after all these years. You holdin’ out on me, bish?”

He playfully tousled her mane, evoking a girlish squeal and giggle from his Scottsmare… and with a gesture that only he and a select few others could get away with, no-less.

She threw his hand away playfully, planting a firm but in no way painful fist into his shoulder.

“Fucker!”

“No you.”

“Don’t fuckin’ ‘no u’ me, ya fuckin’ pissbaby!”

“Cope. Seethe. Shit yourself.”

Stella was quick to start messing up his own hair with an evil smile on her face.

“W-Woman! All I did was give you head-pats that you love, and now you’re trying to mess up my hair in public! The fuck is wrong with you?”

Stella’s exaggerated, baby-whining response was worth its weight in gold.

“Gonna fuckin’ cry, love? Gonna piss yer pants, possibly? Mayhaps, shit and cum? Because lemme fuckin’ tell ye somethin’ Freddie boy!

“If yer not comin’… I’m comin’~,” she challenged.

Fredrick was besides himself at this point… on top of just trying to prevent himself from doing ugly cackles in public. It seemed like Stella was in similar straits, too.

“Fuckin’… you can’t threaten me with a better time, girl! That’s not how any of this works!”

A velvety, sultry, notoriously accented voice graced his ears from behind him… one which had just disembarked the train as well.

“Awww, such a language of love~. And were you two just gonna leave me behind there?” asked Midnight.

Stella interjected with her own brand of sarcasm.

“Whaaaaaaaat mate? Never! Not like we could fuckin’ lose ya either, ya tall cunt!”

Fredrick gladly added to that as Midnight ambled the rest of the way over to them with her own duffel bag slung over her shoulder:

“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you got snagged behind from ponies just swarming you. Well… because… you know…” he gestured with both his hands—noting the glaringly obvious—to her entire form.

While he and Stella opted for basic casual wear for the day on account of travel and the weather… Midnight, as usual, decided to be her own mare. While her shorts weren’t too short this time around, they hugged her thighs nicely, letting the smooth, toned musculature under her copper coat shine through more than the sun above them. Middy also went for a less-than-standard, emerald midriff top that matched her eye color… and one whose sleeves conservatively hugged her arms down to just above her elbows.

Her exposed core was another work of art on its own.

But in a display befitting the comically over-the-top, body-confident mare she was, the neckline was rather… low. Quite low. There was still an air of classiness to it with the lack of wrinkles and the elasticity in which it hugged her Royal Guard-chiseled body. But…

Jesus Christ that neckline…

Midnight giggled confidently.

“Hey, it’s not my fault I draw attention wherever I go! As your wife said… I’m pretty tall for a mare~,” she said.

The expert dodging of the meaning of Fredrick’s previous words was nothing short of masterful, and befitting of a naturally sultry, yet enigmatic mare such as her.

He lopsidedly pursed his lips.

“You know good and well that’s not what I meant, Midds,” said Fredrick.

Midnight stretched out her legs, getting to the tips of her hooves as she threw her arms overhead and behind her back in an awe-inspiring stretch—she put her whole goddamn body on display. Fredrick rolled his eyes, sharing a rather knowing, yet simultaneously unimpressed look with Stella as the copper thestral cutely squeaked.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Freddie~.”

Fredrick swiveled on his heels and beckoned Stella forward, having gotten more than an adequate fill of eye-candy from that alone.

“Right. We should probably start walking. Don’t wanna keep Schnee waiting,” he said.

Stella agreed, linking her arm with his once again, and began leading the way.

“Right! She’s a punctual mare—wouldn’t want tae disappoint, innit?”

Fredrick craned his neck disbelievingly towards his mare as they walked. It was a look both shot at each other on a near-constant basis… and always the harbinger of more shit-slinging to come.

“Oh so you gotta be super punctual with her… but when you’re late to hang out with me and just bust my door down at an ungodly hour of the night, it’s totally fair game?!”

“Aye.”

“Fair ‘nuff.”

Honestly, he would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. Her spontaneity was all part of the charm, even now. That, and just the idea of ‘starting shit’ with Stella just for the laughs never, ever got old. Even if he lost those arguments spectacularly.

Sometimes married life was easy like that.

Their moment together was rather unexpectedly (but in hindsight, probably should’ve been marginally expected) interrupted when Midnight wrapped her arms around the two of them. Fredrick and Stella, now suddenly pressed really close together, shared a cocked eyebrow between the two of them as Midnight held them nice and close. Though the feeling of one of Midnight’s large breasts pressed into his shoulder was certainly not a bad feeling by any metric… it brought no small measure of inquiry.

Midnight cooed, giggling all cutely as she nuzzled herself even closer between the two of them, leaning on the couple as they continued their leisurely stroll through Ponyville. Fredrick got a deep, coherent whiff of the mango body wash that she used when she showered this morning.

She then sultrily, huskily cooed:

“Have I mentioned how… hot you lovelies sound when you act like a married couple? Or really, just like yourselves~?”

Perhaps a little too huskily.

Fredrick wordlessly asked Stella what the hell was going on, and her wide-eyed shrugging told him that this was as unexpected to her as it was to him. Then again, almost everything Midnight did within the group was unexpected. He should’ve been used to this by now.

He wrested himself free from her grasp, then smoothed the new wrinkles in his shirt while eying her with joking suspicion.

“Damn, Middy… You’re being a little hornier than normal. Never thought I’d even say those words, fuck. What’s the occasion?”

Once Stella also broke free from her hold, a briefly lust-stricken Midnight seemed to snap back to ‘normal.’ Righting her posture and rejoining the group’s walking pace, she giggled, blushing.

“Heh… Sorry about that, you two. Well… maybe I’m only a little sorry, but still~.”

Stella smirked, then leveled a gibe her solar counterpart:

“Uh huh. Ya would’ve been fully sorry if that hand of yers went any fuckin’ lower! Fuck me, lass… thought ye were goin’ fer me minge fer a moment, there… ya heated slut!”

Midnight chuckled right back, and said chuckle devolved into one that was a little more embarrassed. She ran a hand over the back of her neck.

“Heh, speaking of ‘heated.’ I think my heat’s like, right around the corner. I feel it churning in me. Training. Growing. Getting stronger. For real though, sorry if I’m a bit more forward than normal…

“Though, I’m sure you understand fully, Stella~.”

Fredrick smiled, rolling his eyes. Oh, she understood alright. Hell… he understood.

Ever since that one fateful night when they were just starting to date, and Stella fell into heat… suddenly a lot of her mannerisms leading up to that night made so much more sense. He recalled that it was particularly bad for batponies, and as Stella further explained after they had sex for the first time, what made it worse was that the whole cycle was not guaranteed to happen at the same time of year. There was some wiggle room.

Which sounded horrifying. Batponies are weird. Beautifully weird.

Stella turned back to Midnight, with her visage pleasantly, brilliantly brightened. She held her hand up.

“Oh now I get it! And ayyyye girl! Saaame!” she shouted, and she cutely jumped to high-five Midnight’s hand on account of the latter mare’s height.

Another cocked—and now somewhat concerned—eyebrow from Fredrick. Was Stella just planning on springing this upon him at the last minute? Bursting through the figurative woodwork and declaring that he needed to sate her heat?

Yes. The answer was almost positively yes.

What concerned him more was Midnight’s declaration. While it explained a lot, Fredrick took a couple cautionary steps away from her, just to be a little more on the safe side.

He followed this up jokingly (somewhat):

“Uhhh… gee thanks for the head’s up. Should I even be anywhere near you right now?” he remarked.

Stella burst into laughter at his words, and Midnight just rolled her eyes so hard, Fredrick was worried they’d fall out of her skull.

“Ahem. As handsome as you are, I wouldn’t flatter yourself too much… I still very much have self-control, as I always do~.”

Fredrick had to seal his mouth shut at an instant… contain the explosion of laughter that was threatening to tear through his lips like a poorly managed nuclear reactor. All that sounded was the tiniest, scratchy coughing sound in his throat. He then glanced at Stella… who seemed to be in identical circumstances.

The dams broke the moment they made eye contact and realized they were on the same wavelength. The chorus of cackling from them was monumental, and any of the public who paid them mind were not eyeing up Midnight nor Fredrick anymore.

As for the taller mare herself, all she had was another eye-roll to offer to the guffaw that was threatening to tear the newlyweds’ sides asunder.

Stella leaned on Fredrick again, and wiped her eyes.

“Hoooooly fuck mate… self-control? PFFFT!” she nudged Fredrick. “Next she’ll say that she doesn’t want Schnee tae sit on her face!”

“HAH! Or… or that she hates mangoes!”

The two continued their giggle fest, all while Midnight had nothing to come back with. All Fredrick heard was her sigh and chuckle her response:

“You two are complete retards and assholes. I love you both.”

Stella ‘yelled’ out the side of her hand:

“GAAAAAY!”

And Fredrick was not far behind his wife:

“Das fuckin’ GAAAAAY!”

Everyone devolved into some measure of high-pitched laughter, though Fredrick did notice one thing in particular… which had a much more apparent meaning when juxtaposed to Midnight’s impending heat.

“Don’t worry, I fully forgive you~. All jokes aside, now it all makes sense. As well as your rather… interesting choice of clothes, I must say. On the prowl for some uhhh… ‘cock and poon?’” he teased.

Stella gave him an almost revolted look.

“Did ya just say ‘cock and poon’ in the same fuckin’ phrasing like it’s a goddamn cereal at the fuckin’ supermarket, ya fuckin’ reprobate?”

He shrugged defensively.

“Hey! It was the only thing I could come up with on the fly that I thought sounded clever! Even though clearly it wasn’t…”

Fredrick felt himself nudged off balance, stumbling out of step as Midnight playfully shoved him. His laughter continued as he then stumbled clumsily back into line, and wrapped an arm around his mare’s shoulders.

“Hmph! You’re lucky you’re Stella’s human… and cute, I guess~.”

Fredrick shrugged and added rather pointedly:

“Am I wrong though? Not saying ya look bad… quite the contrary! You’re just clearly dressed to hook some tail of some variety. Or maybe not. But you’ve got the uniform for it,” he added the extra tease to the end.

Stella snickered, and to Midnight’s credit, she didn’t exactly disagree with him.

“This is true… though if I’m being completely honest, I’m really only wearing this for the extra firepower for one particular mare that I wanna ‘hook,~’” she so informed them.

Fredrick was impressed. He knew exactly what she meant by that, but before he could respond properly Stella brightened up and weighed in:

“Ahh fuck me that’s right! The whole reason ya wanted tae tag along in the first place, huh? And here I thought you wanted tae hang out with us because ya cared about us. Silly me… should’a remembered that Miss Song here is only after the exceptionally rare…”

As always, Stella had him hooked on where she was going with her words. He already knew this was gonna be hilarious, and he nearly laughed with his first words:

“Oh? And what’s that?”

Stella accented her quips with her telltale smile.

“Specifically… ‘Smol Alemaneian War Vet Pussy.’ T’is a rare commodity in this world—fetches the highest price! But I can clearly see that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree with you and yer family, Midds~.”

Fredrick cackled again, and Midnight was quick to rise to that in ever-reciprocal, good nature:

“Hah! Oh fuck you, filly! You literally ride cock that’s not of this world every night. Don’t you even talk to me about ‘exceptionally rare,’ hypocrite head-ass!”

And then promptly shoved her forward this time, all while Fredrick nearly choked on his spit for that one. Stella may have always been the funniest light of his life, but Midnight had some quality zingers when they all hung out together.

Fredrick smiled as he bathed in the scene. Stella was as happy as could be, and that bright smile of hers was as enrapturing as the day he first met her. That laughter of hers never failed to send his heart into a flutter, even after years together. Ponyville around them may have been gorgeous, what with all the lushness of the surrounding fields and forest, along with the cloudless sky above them… and even the populace was gorgeous!

But in his objective opinion, Stella reigned supreme in her beauty.

He would take no further input on this. AMA over.

This also brought him back to Stella’s words on the matter, and reminded him that, yes, apparently Schnee had captivated Midnight so much since before the wedding, that she wanted to pursue things forward. From what he had heard from Stella in passing, the two agreed to finally sort of see where things went between them.

Finally!

To him, this meant they were more in an exploratory ‘dating’ phase rather than a proper item. But from what else he had heard the two ‘got up to…’ he could safely say the two of them were well-past the awkward ‘dating’ aspect.

Ergo, a nice little hangout that was gonna be between the three of them, had a fourth added to it when Midnight asked to tag along so she could see the Flower Mare as well. They were all happy to have her along for the ride, and Schnee herself was quite ecstatic at the proposal as well, and was immediately willing to accommodate.

And so, most of the gang would be back together after a hot minute.

Stella continued her rowdy giggling as they walked, and brought him out of his thoughts when she continued the conversation:

“Aye… but I don’t think there’ll be too much trouble of her openin’ her legs to ye again! I mean… look at ye! I’ll admit, ya look pretty fuckin’ hot right now,” she said.

And then nudged Fredrick’s arm, then wrapped her arms around his midsection, leaning on him.

“Doesn’t she?”

He took another ‘free’ glance at Midnight before he, indeed, agreed wholeheartedly. He confidently rattled off:

“Oh yeah! Fuck yeah! All jokes aside, Midds, you’re rockin’ it out today! Those clothes fit your figure fuckin’ perfectly. Not to mention matching your eyes and your mane, as always. Absolutely hot, just like this one here said!” he agreed, smiling.

Apparently hearing that from the two of them was wholly welcome, and Midnight’s face seemed to color a bit through the veil of her hand she was presently giggling into. Further, it looked like those lusty eyes of hers—further accented by the impending onset of her heat—had made a triumphant return as she gazed back at them. Fredrick could see exactly why anyone who glanced into those pools could potentially be unintentionally smitten.

“Wow, Freddie… you know just what to say to a girl~. Stella, are you really okay with him flirting expertly with other mares like this~?”

Stella had no answer to that than to start cracking up laughing again… which, in and of itself, was all the answer that needed to be told. Fredrick lost count of how many times the two of them just sat back, pony-watched, and admired mares and stallions for their looks… as well as their various physical features. As Stella had so-hilariously put it, it was their personal time to sit and ‘objectify pretty ponies together.’

In the end, neither had to really ‘prove’ their devotion to each other, nor how hot they found the other party. It was just trivial.

Fredrick rolled his eyes again, though his confident smile never waned.

“Hey, Stella asked for an opinion, and I gave it! Would’ve been the same if you asked, Midds. Got no issue speaking to the truth.”

Stella had his back fully on that:

“Fuckin’ agreed, mate!” she exclaimed. “But aye. Schnee’s gonna love the look, I fuckin’ know it! You’ll swoon the adorable little flower yet!”

Midnight lidded her gaze sultrily.

“Careful, you two…~” she began. “It’s a lot easier to bed me unintentionally right now~.”

The couple chuckled at her words, though Fredrick and Stella—arms linked once more—shared a knowing look. And the soundless sparkles in each other’s eyes were reminiscent of some lewder conversations about their friends.

Stella leaned in to Fredrick’s ear and whispered:

“Them tits and ass, though… in that fuckin’ getup…”

Fredrick replied with a wide-eyed, deep-nodding, full agreement.

“Oh abso-fuckin’-lutely,” he replied, chuckling, then further followed up whispering into her ear:

“Sounds like you’re horny, too…~”

Stella giggled huskily as she added an extra, lusty rasp to her whisper:

“Oi love, that’s just the secret with me: I’m always horny. Ye should know this by now~…”

“Mmm~. Oh I do, believe me. Just somehow surprises me every time. Careful babe… you’re starting to sound a teeny bit like Midnight right now~…”

Stella purred, and upped the teasing ante with a lewd counter:

“Aye? You’d fuckin’ like that, huh?”

“Girl, you best shut your mouth or I’ll shut it for you,” he teased right back.

And that broke them completely, especially when Stella responded with a grossly exaggerated ‘uuuuuunnnhhhh!’.

The two devolved into a silent laughter amongst themselves but were quickly interrupted when Midnight cut right in… by inserting her face between the two of them and wrapping her arms around both their shoulders again.

“Hey now… if you two are sharing lewd thoughts, you better tell them to my face and not just keep ‘em to yourself with whispers~,” she cooed.

Stella answered succinctly for the two of them:

“Wife and husband privilege, lass! State secrets are given out at our discretion~.”

The rest of the journey to Schnee’s house was just as eventful as the arrival, replete with continued banter between Stella and Midnight in their usual fashions. Though Fredrick was keen on slinging some shit and taking it in return on occasion, he was more focused on taking in the sights of Ponyville… home of the Elements of Harmony and so many other pivotal events in very recent Equestrian history.

He couldn’t imagine how… it really seemed like a lovely, medium-sized town, by pony standards at least. If the Princesses themselves hadn’t confirmed it, he wouldn’t have believed in the slightest that such cataclysmic events all centered themselves around these stretches of unassuming land.

What was decidedly not unassuming was when Fredrick could spot Schnee’s house right when they turned down the final street. He had never been, much like he had never been to Ponyville… but from what he knew about the Flower Mare, he figured he had a pretty good idea which house was hers on this street. The defining features only became more captivating as the trio further approached.

He would’ve been forgiven for mistaking her house proper for any of the others on the street, but the gargantuan garden out front gave her home away entirely. As he expected, just around the fence of her front yard was a multicolor display of some of the most gorgeous, well-tended flowers he had ever seen. He was no floral expert, but something about the variety and precision in which they grew from the immaculately prepared soil and grass stood out to him.

And then he noticed the giant, wooden skeleton that encapsulated the entire front yard. In what he would have likened to the support structures of a proper greenhouse sans any glass, vines and stems criss-crossed their way up the wood. The result: a beautifully harmonious display of various flowers not seen together in nature—an unnatural diversity that somehow managed to come to life in the most natural ways possible. Everywhere he turned, he had more flowers staring at him.

And the smell—the smells, actually. How they just blended together in such a strong, commanding, yet contenting scent that put most perfumes to shame. That’s when he noticed the small list prices that hung from various stems and sets. He jogged his brain a bit in recollection.

Of course. She’s The Flower Mare, after all.

This was Schnee’s job… and if it was any indication of the expert display-work that evoked such feelings from him, she adored her work. This was probably the strongest he ever felt about floral arrangements… considering it completely toppled his attention to whatever conversation had been taking place as they walked up to Schnee’s front door.

He knew exactly who to come to if he wanted to drown Stella in flowers, if only just to inconvenience her in the funniest ways. In fact, that was exactly what he was gonna do.

Stella’s voice brought him back to the present once she knocked on the door… one that was extraordinarily forest-green with a few pink, painted flowers on it, along with the Alemaneian word for ‘welcome’ in gothic-like script.

“…don’t ya think, love?”

“What was that, babe?” asked Fredrick.

The door then swung inward, revealing the perfect, wide smile of the mare whom they all came to see.

“Hallo, alle! Herzlich willkommen!” she greeted, and everyone understood those words, even if they didn’t speak the language.

She then hurriedly ushered everyone inside, vehemently waving her hand inward.

“Come in! Come in everyone! So good to see you all again!!!” she squee’d.

“Aye! Great tae see ya, love!”

“Hello you gorgeous flower as always, you~!”

“Ayyyyyy, thanks, Schnee! So great to see you again, too!”

Everyone happily obliged, and lots of good-natured yelling and greetings were exchanged as they single-filed their way past the doorway threshold. Schnee made sure to hug each one of them as they passed by her and into her living room, and when he followed up the group, he was no exception: Schnee threw her arms around his neck with a cute squee… and Fredrick was all too happy to embrace her around her waist.

The somewhat baggy t-shirt and leggings looked positively marvelous on her… and it wouldn’t be her purview without the pattern of some flowers lining the chest. It was certainly a more comfort-focused look that was par for the course for everyone, really. Nevertheless, she looked positively stunning as always.

Their hug seemed to linger a smidge onto the line of propriety, which was partially his fault. He shook his head as he joined everyone else in the living room.

Sheesh. Stella’s and Midds’ upcoming heats and horniness are probably rubbing off on me. Christ.

What’s more, Fredrick noticed a smell.

Schnee’s home smelt delicious of course, and the intermingling floral scents had their best way with his sense of smell. But even then, there was another scent that seemed… oddly familiar. He couldn’t place it, yet it seemed to welcome him like an old friend. It was just present enough to notice, yet it lingered on the periphery of his sense if he tried to isolate it… just enough out of figurative range.

No sense dwelling on it.

Though, what really stood out to him this time was the lack of mass below her right bicep. Once his eyes adjusted, it all made sense. Schnee had greeted them all without the ‘rest of her arm,’ as it were. Other than the one time that she got him good by having him accidentally yank her prosthetic off, he couldn’t recall another time when she was in public without it, and especially in front of him. He figured she probably didn’t care too much now, but to him it seemed like a bit of an honor to see her without ‘being whole,’ in some sense.

That or he was being retarded as usual and reading way too much into the situation. Yeah, that was probably it.

Stella threw herself onto Schnee’s couch and stretched out rather inappropriately while Midnight stood off to the side to wait for their host.

“Ahhhh… fuckin’ hell I love yer place, Schnee. Fuckin’ safehouse in Ponyville, lemme tell ya,” she remarked.

Fredrick gingerly picked her legs off the couch and moved them to the ground without giving Stella any choice in the matter so he could properly sit down. Stella responded by just throwing her legs back onto his lap, anyway.

His eyes quickly scanned over the walls and the furnishings all the while. Paintings of nature, a few pony figures he didn’t recognize, as well as a couple medals that hung over the fireplace that he wasn’t familiar with—likely war-related. What was the common theme were flowers. Flowers in vases and were hung up everywhere.

“Heh, first time here and I gotta say—you have a lovely home, Schnee!” he smiled.

Schnee blushed as she closed the door and stood in the foyer. Her cheeks cutely colored crimson.

“Hehe… oh thank you so much, Freddie! You’re really much too kind~,” she replied.

Midnight stepped forward to respond for him:

“And he speaks the truth! As we always know him to,” she said, then cupped the Flower Mare’s cheek with her right hand… a gesture that Schnee blushed even more profusely at, but in no way pulled away from.

“Nice to see you again, little flower~,” Midds added, and leaned in to nuzzle the mare.

Schnee giggled, returning the nuzzle wholeheartedly.

“Hehe, gleichfalls~.”

Midnight giggled in kind, and promptly left the mare standing to kick back on the sofa opposite of Fredrick and Stella. The porcelain-coated mare still sported a blush to rival some of her flowers as she announced to everyone:

“So… would you lovelies like some tea before we go have lunch?”

Schnee was the master of tea for the group, so the answer was a resounding yes from the three of them.

Apparently, she had already had an entire flight at the end of brewing. She just skipped into the kitchen and brought back a full ensemble on a tray, fresh and ready to drink… also equipped with her prosthetic this time. The smol gal gracefully glided on her hooves as she expertly set the table in front of them.

And once all that was taken care of, she cutely plopped down on the opposite sofa right next to Midnight.

Tea was served, and some proper unwinding could be done before they inevitably headed out again for lunch… and whatever else was going on today. Fredrick wasn’t too sure on that front.

A pleasant, resting smile fell upon his features either way, and in taking the first sip of the expertly brewed floral tea in his hands, reclined back into the couch. What he did know was that no matter what happened today, anything involving these mares was bound to be a great time, if experience was anything to go by.

His thoughts were brushed aside when Schnee cut her rather animated conversation to announce to everyone:

“Oh! Before I forget. For today…” she began, then sat her teacup down with an excited smirk, brimming with cutesy glee.

“…I would love to take you all to lunch. That’s my treat and nopony else’s, ja? After that, we can do whatever we like… but I will have that honor!” she declared.

And absolutely no one challenged her on that. And even if Fredrick wanted to, he knew that look in her eyes: she’d kill him, or anyone who dared.

He wisely smiled right back and replied:

“Okay! Sounds great to me! After that… did anyone figure out what they even wanted to do? I’m up for whatever.”

Stella brightened up.

“Oh! Heard there was that new bar that opened up here! We can go there fer dinner if everypony’s alright with that…”

Schnee nodded in sudden recollection.

“Ja! I remember! I haven’t tried it yet, so I’m great with that!”

Fredrick had no complaints on his end—really, he wasn’t picky. He was just happy to have the gang mostly back together. With that wordlessly settled, Midnight weighed in as well with her usual, oddly erotic flair:

“Also, let’s switch things up a bit…~” she began. “You know, Ponyville’s home to one of Equestria’s largest prop and costume superstores. And we can totally just book a photoshoot in the back. Dress up and be shitheads. I think it could be fun…~”

Now that was certainly different, but in no way unexciting, though Fredrick had more than a few questions.

“Wait… really? Ponyville’s like, an eighth the size of Canterlot. Maybe a bit less. What the hell’s the criteria for a super store that they felt the need to expand here?” he asked.

Stella shrugged, though Schnee speculated on an answer:

“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Frau Pinkie Pie is responsible for half the sales.”

Fredrick was willing to accept that—it made the most sense in his eyes, even if it raised more questions about the Element of Laughter than answers.

“Fair ‘nuff.”

With that, he was able to turn his attention fully to the idea itself proposed by Midnight. Fredrick’s inner child was beginning to bloat his diaphragm, and he hazarded a glance at Stella… who then mirrored his face identically once they locked eyes.

“Down!”

“Soooo fuckin’ down!”

Schnee looked like she had some wheels turning in her head too… though that energetic smile of hers never once waned.

“Sounds fun to me! So… lunch, take an easy walk through the town and digest on our way over to the… what is it… photoshooting? Then we end with dinner und drinks!” Schnee put forth the itinerary for the day.

She then pointed at everyone:

“And you all are staying overnight, ja?”

Stella always had something cheeky to say:

“Aye, assumin’ that offer’s still on the table if we don’t annoy the piss outta ye all day… I won’t be offended it you tell us tae fuck off, love.”

Schnee giggled cutely into her right hand.

“I don’t think that’ll be an issue…” she said, then gazed over and up at Midnight’s face.

“For any of you, really.”

Stella shrugged, still smiling knowingly.

“Then we’ll head back tae Canterlot in the mornin’, as we had already planned.”

Fredrick nodded once, thoroughly excited.

“Sounds settled to me!” he said, then took a whale-sized gulp of the tea that had finally cooled off to an acceptable amount.

He damn-near touched off the cup like a shot of alcohol, as he just couldn’t help himself at this point.

The conversation turned to topics where three mares started going about something that he wasn’t particularly well-versed in… which meant that he could help himself to more tea that was laid out on the coffee table. He’d be getting his caffeine fix whether anyone liked it or not. It was a good thing too, because Fredrick was starting to feel a little light-headed, and he wasn’t sure why.

Probably still a little groggy from this morning.

Then, after taking another deep breath, it hit him. He froze in position, and his eyes widened, but thankfully no one seemed to notice his sudden change in demeanor.

He understood now.

The familiarity of that ‘mystery’ scent that seemed to accent the edges of his sense of smell came flooding back into his immediate memory:

‘Heat Scent.’

He knew it smelled familiar. It was the same scent that Stella would emit when she was deep in her cycle. Though, this one was a smidge different. There was a much more floral accent.

It was Schnee.

Fredrick understood fully that the smol mare was probably up to her waist in her cycle if he could notice this. The others had to have known by now. There was no way he was the only one privy to this smell… but he sure as shit wasn’t gonna be the one to bring it to everyone’s attention.

So, he elected to just let it be, and turned his attention back to the original mission: more tea.

Schnee herself seemed to encourage this fully, as her face brightened like the nightlights in Canterlot when she saw him going for more. She urged him on while Midnight drew her attention elsewhere. Didn’t need to tell him twice… he would mix every single one of these teas together to create a super brew.

He’d be so coked up on caffeine, he’d be awake for days. Hell, from what he had tasted, Fredrick had half a mind to break open the tea bags and snort a line of tea off Stella’s tits and/or ass!

THIS IS SO GODDAMN GOOD.

He wasn’t sure how long he was engrossed in just tea—the British part of him was going absolutely insane, all to the white noise of Schnee’s and Midnight’s animated conversation. However long it happened to be, Stella brought him out of his tea-induced daydream when she silently nudged him.

Mouth full to capacity with another sip, he still gave his mare his full attention. He met her eyes questioningly, almost offended that she’d rip him from his indulging. He offered up a raised eyebrow when he caught a knowing glint in those golden eyes of hers.

She smirked and wordlessly gestured over towards the other couch.

He followed her fingers, and as expected, the taller and smol-er mares were deeply invested in some enthralling conversation he hadn’t really been listening to. But one thing that he did notice, thanks to Stella ‘looking out’ for him, was Midnight literally leaning into Schnee’s words.

And as a result, her position was just pure cleavage. He was struck at how much boobage this mare was actually capable of, and combined with her choice of outfit?

Christ… why??

Schnee, as well, had curled her legs up under her, and in her leggings, that cute butt of hers was pretty much just facing him by this point, only occasionally veiled by the excited swishing of her tail.

It was all, dare he say, a little more than ‘kinda hot,’ if he was being completely honest with himself. And if Stella pointed that out, too… clearly she thought the same. The two tended to have similar tastes in mares when they would pony-watch.

Fredrick had to go right back to his tea, out of both respect for his friends and his internal temperature. But before he did, he glanced back at his wife and whispered a simple:

“Niceeeeeee. Thanks for lookin’ out, sweets,” he returned her coy smirk and a wink.

But of course, as he went in for another sip, Stella had to layer on more of her usual teasing after she giggled:

“Bet ye wouldn’t mind gettin’ all nice an’ cozy in between ‘em on that couch~,” she said whilst running her fingers over his thigh.

And that was enough for him to bring his face up from the brim of the teacup and give her a blank stare. She nearly lost her shit from his expression alone, though thankfully she managed to catch herself before Schnee and Middy became aware of the idea that the two of them were outright perving on them.

After all, were you really best friends if you didn’t perv on each other?

Her borderline-bursting was infectious though, and he quickly found himself needing to rein his laughter in. Even so, he managed to put forth a rather obvious observation:

“Good god, girl… sounds like you’re horny as fuck already, too! Fuck’s sake your heat’s gonna be pretty goddamn brutal when it hits!”

He took another sip of tea before adding:

“Might need one of those libido potions that Luna keeps trying to recommend to me during such times. Maybe even that refractory reduction one, too!” he joked.

Stella continued to surprise him.

“Way ahead of ya, love~. I know the exact ones! I was able tae procure one of each just fer the occasion. Y’know… just in case me heat struck in full force outta fuckin’ nowhere and we needed tae high-tail it to a fuckin’ hotel like, immediately,” she explained.

Fredrick was struck with disbelief as to how far-ahead she had thought about all of this, and the sheer absurdity of it all nearly doubled him over in laughter. He had to keep a lid on it though, lest he give away the conversation to the other two here and find the need to explain what the whole fuss was about.

But he had the clarity to add in a few observations of his own:

“You’re ever the prepared one when it counts, aren’t you, babe? Sounds like you’re the one getting all worked up being amongst me and two of our hot friends. Though to be fair…”

He leaned in a little closer so he could whisper:

“…so am I. Fuck you all very much for this,” he voiced his struggle.

Stella batted her eyelashes a couple times, leaning in for good measure so Fredrick could get a nice view of her own magnificent breasts. The coy glint in her golden pools was as enticing as the day he met her.

“Maybe that was part of the plan all along… tae get ya aaaaaall riled up in time fer when me heat does strike. Ever think of that, love~?”

Fredrick pursed his lips, having never broken eye-contact with his mare, and just idly shook his head in mock disapproval of her antics. Such a reaction earned a hearty giggle from Stella… and Fredrick’s face further warmed when she closed the distance and pressed her lips to his for a quick little kiss.

One he eagerly returned in kind.

Somepony clearing their throat garnered both their attentions though, and the two looked back over the table towards their friends on the other couch. Before the next words even left Schnee’s mouth, Fredrick already suspected that the two mares across from him knew something that he didn’t. The tiniest, barely-perceptible differences in their sweet smiles told him everything.

But what that thing was, he couldn’t place. Did they hear his and Stella’s conversation just now? Did they know that he knew of Schnee’s… situation? He wasn’t sure. And he wasn’t really keen on asking to find out.

Schnee announced:

“Are we all ready for lunch?”

Stella answered for the both of them:

“Aye! We’re all set! Shall we?”

“Ja! Los gehts! Gimme just thirty seconds to change into something more… comfortable.”

“Hehe, good! I’m hungry~.”

True to her word, Schnee disappeared and re-emerged just about half a minute later… though in much more ‘revealing’ clothes in the form of a beautiful, yellow sundress in place of her lounging clothes. The change was well-received by all.

Art by: Me!

Stella then patted Fredrick’s leg, and he took that as his cue to stand up with her. He neatly placed his teacup and the used teabags on the serving tray for later, easier disposal before they all started making their way back towards the front door.

He wasn’t privy to whatever the gaggle of girls were suddenly talking about, but what brought him into the conversation immediately as he passed the threshold to the outdoors was what happened next:

He yelped when he distinctly felt both of Stella’s hands slap his ass… and then promptly felt all ten of her fingers digging into his cheeks, pushing him onward.

Fredrick dared look behind him at a hungry looking Stella, who had zero intention of releasing his butt from her clutches.

“Uhhh… girl, do you mind?”

“Love, if ya didn’t want this at all, you have no fuckin’ business goin’ in public with all this ass! Just fuckin’… mmph! All double-cheeked up on a Saturday afternoon, innit? Got all this fuckin’ cake! Me workouts fer ya have been doin’ some bakin’~!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, woman…”

“You absolutely love it, Fredrick~.”

“You bet both yours and my ass that I love it!”

Schnee and Midnight launched into another laughing fit as the Flower Mare shut her front door.

[A Little Later…]

Lunch was... delicious. 

A nice little family-owned cafe with outdoor seating right by a lush garden was just what the doctor in his head ordered. The fresh air cooling his already-warm face from the young day’s events was a welcome addition to some Vitamin D from the plentiful, yet comfortable sunshine to balance it all out. What made it all perfect for him was just hanging out in the middle of his friends—all of whom were gorgeous on the eyes, themselves. 

The fact that he also managed to stuff down the greatest club sandwich he had ever had was just the greatest bonus. Stella also let him run his hand over her powerful thigh, like, the entire time.

Fredrick was in a very good mood, all things considered.

Probably helped that he was drugged up on so much caffeine, too, to the point where his leg was fidgety… so it worked in his favor when they all left to take a leisurely stroll to help with digesting.

And while they all took a detour through the picturesque Ponyville Park, Fredrick was graced with the holiest of sights: Schnee all happy and giggly, excitedly prancing through the grass and flowers. Hell, at one point Midnight flat out pushed her into the grass, and Schnee became the giggliest mare amongst the flowers and greenery.

The poor man didn’t think he could witness the physical manifestation of wholesomeness and cuteness of that caliber, yet he was still standing even though he felt like he was gonna keel over. That sundress certainly added the extra allure that was good for absolutely no one’s arteries.

Stella was in identical straits. Still the same wavelength. Still the single brain cell they were sharing.

God he loved his mare.

But what was still somehow wholesome to see was how she and Midnight interacted with one another in public. Fredrick expected it to be a one-sided lewd-fest, with Midnight just attempting to get her hands on Schnee in the less-than-appropriate ways while the smaller mare merely put up with her advances.

Nope. Well, that did happen but it was by no means a significant portion of their interactions.

In another subversion of his expectations, the two were practically frolicking together in the grass. In fact, whenever he managed to see Midnight get a little close and handsy, Schnee would accept all her gestures with often literal open arms. By the time they had passed entirely through the park, they were hand-in-hand for a good while.

That shit was way too goddamn wholesome for him… almost. One thing was for sure: they definitely didn’t start out like this before the wedding, so some progress had certainly been made since. He still wasn’t personally sure when—if ever—they would take the final leap but hey, as long as it worked for them, that’s all that mattered.

All these thoughts were running in parallel lanes in his head as they were on the final leg of their easy trek to the Prop Center. Everyone was just in a much more buoyant and talkative mood once the food had digested somewhat, coupled with some of the freshest air imaginable.

Fredrick was eventually brought out of the thoughts of what he’d wear when he heard Midnight and Stella arguing… again. He could tell from the tone that it was absolutely nothing to worry about… and the topic was a bit obscured due to their accents which seemed to get heavier as they descended further into stupidity and grandiose gesticulations with their arms and upper bodies.

Pointless, as nature intended. All was right with the world.

But back in reality, this meant that he had a little pseudo alone-time with Schnee, as she also opted to just sit out Stella’s and Midds’ conversation. Smirking, he glanced down at her… and he immediately realized that her dress, combined with his height over her, gave him some lovely views that didn’t just involve her pretty eyes.

He didn’t stare, though. Hell, he didn’t even get the chance to stare when Schnee immediately felt eyes upon her and met his gaze in kind. Bright-eyes and bright-smile ever as captivating, she blurted in rather out-of-the-blue fashion:

“Hallo!”

His smile curled a little more over the backdrop of Midnight and Stella raising their voices at each other.

“Hey, you!”

Unexpectedly—though, in light of the circumstances, he probably should’ve expected some measure of this—Schnee exuberantly threw herself onto him. She threw her arms around his neck and hung her entire bodyweight off him while she cutely swung her legs.

“It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other!” she managed through her boisterous super hug.

Fredrick, startled at the sudden bout of affection, sure as hell didn’t mind the attention after a couple seconds. He eagerly returned the gesture with his arms around her waist as tightly as she hugged him. He’d gladly support her in the position for as long as she wished to remain.

“Heh, it’s only been a couple months since the wedding but… I guess that’s a bit long, I suppose. Stella’s been busy since we got back from the honeymoon. But it’s always fun to see you, Schnee,” he mentioned.

And at this point, he reacquainted himself with just how smol Schnee was. She was much heavier than she looked for certain, on account of the muscle she sported on her smaller frame… but she in no way weighed as much as Stella… or even Midnight.

He found that one out during a drunken bet that he couldn’t pick Midnight up bridal style like he could with Stella. His legs nearly gave out that night, and that’s when he knew he needed to train them up more.

Regardless, his thoughts suddenly meandered that she was only slightly heavier than Vona most likely. He could easily ‘toss her around’ if he had half a mind for it.

He quickly shook his head clean of those thoughts… even if they were pleasant.

Goddamn heat smell.

Probably didn’t help that Stella and Midnight in their own impending states were having some manner of effect on him as well.

“I bet!” Schnee replied, letting herself fall back to her hooves. Fredrick released his hold on her, subsequently. “Busy mare! Climbing the ranks of the noble Guard!”

She giggled.

Fredrick chuckled in kind, and tossed a glance Stella’s way. She and Midnight were, impressively, on their tenth minute of straight-up arguing while they remained in synchronized step. He could’ve sworn he heard her call Midnight a ‘daft cunt’ for the fourth time.

He sighed dreamily.

“Yeah… she’s doing really well. I try to tell her a lot, but I really don’t think she knows how proud of her I am~.”

Schnee calmly, confidently lay her small, ceramic hand on his forearm.

“Trust me… with how I see you look at her, I think she knows and feels it just by your face alone,” she said.

Then promptly followed up with a knowing quip:

“I’m sure it also helps that she’s very very pretty to look at~,” she winked, then giggled yet again.

He blushed on Stella’s behalf… because it was completely true. He scored well above his ceiling with her.

Stella’s laughter may have been his drug, among other things about her. But Schnee’s giggly personality was a downright contagious disease that he didn’t exactly mind catching when it made the rounds. Thus, he joined her… though he hadn’t much choice when it was further complimented by that ever-cute sundress and her arm… which gave her that badass accent to her entire form.

Nevertheless, he was more than inclined to agree with Schnee’s assessment. He added a little extra on top with the confidence high he was sporting at the moment:

“Heh, you’re telling me! Though… it’s nice to hear that from a friend who happens to also be, as you say, ‘very very pretty to look at,’” he smirked.

The reaction was instant, and just as he expected, Schnee blushed fiercely… followed up by an even higher pitched round of giggling from her. She even bounced subtly on the tips of her hooves.

This mare was gonna put him in the ground, and Stella might not appreciate that. She’d understand, but definitely not appreciate it.

When she finally composed herself again, her question was simple… but fully weighted and accented by her ‘condition’ that Fredrick was all-too aware of:

“And just when did you get so smooth, Herr Himmelreich~?”

The fulfilled, validated smile on her face and tongue-in-cheek humming of a mare pleased with herself let him in on the larger picture.

He smirked and shrugged.

“Heh, didn’t think I was being that smooth but sheeiiit… okay hehe. And no idea!” he played along. “My guess is that Stella’s rubbed off on me over the years. Got me a little out of my shell…

“Or at least I fuckin’ hope!”

Schnee didn’t provide an answer to that… with words, at least. In another pleasant yet fully odd surprise to him, she threw her arms back around his midsection. She then hummed out serenely as she leaned herself against his left side fully while they walked.

While Fredrick instinctively raised both his arms when she so brazenly violated his personal space, she was a close friend so it was a most welcome intrusion. He helped support her via her waist so they could both remain comfortable while they strolled along. And he most certainly didn’t mind the feel of her chest pressing into him.

Nope.

Not at all.

Not in the slightest.

At some point, he was gonna let go of her automatically to make sure that he didn’t stray too far from the realm of propriety, especially with her current condition…

…but Stella forcing herself under his right arm, and her cheek excitedly brushing against his, put a damper on those plans. She made sure he was now sandwiched between two mares.

Apparently she and Midnight finished their argument on amicable terms… because of course she’d manage to butt right back in when Schnee is practically snuggling his midsection.

“The fuck is all this here, mate? You better be givin’ me priority lovin’, ya twat!” she teased.

Fredrick let his laughter get the better of him, and held her even closer so he could plant the wettest kiss on her lips. He even slipped a teeny bit of tongue in there for good measure, and with the way Stella moaned at the act, she certainly loved it.

And upon separating, he confidently asserted:

“You are my highest priority, my love—and you know good and well that you have all my heart…”

It was Stella’s turn for her eyes to go lovingly wide, along with a deep, red blush to fall across her cheeks. Her pupils practically turned to hearts. To which, Fredrick promptly ruined by following up with:

“…you slag.”

And that set her off into near-choking laughter. It was all in excellent fun between the two of them, and Stella then went in for another kiss that Fredrick eagerly returned. By that point, her own chest was pressed snuggly into his right side. He could practically feel his ribcage nestled in between her ‘girls.’

That’s when he realized that he had lost track of Midnight… and his eyes then widened considerably when he promptly regained track of her upon the feeling of another nice rack pressing against his upper back and back of his neck.

“Are we all getting in on a group hug? Don’t you dare forget about me~,” she damn-near cooed whilst wrapping both her arms around the lot of them, much to Schnee’s and Stella’s giggly exuberance.

While wholly unexpected that events evolved into this, Fredrick was by no means in dire straits. It was a treat to have three beautiful mares—one he called his wife, and the others he happily called great friends—all nice and nestled together with him at the center. Not only was it lovely feeling three sets of boobs of assorted sizes pressed into him, it was just so warm. T’was a warmth that found its way into his core and heated his body on an ethereal level.

He sighed.

It was… nice.

In a way, sans Highground, Sveta, and a few of the Guards he had made friends with, he felt this was a resurrection of a full friend group that he had lost once he was forcibly transplanted here…

…apart from the boobs.

In a way, he finally came to terms with how wonderful it was to finally ‘be whole again,’ as it were.

“Not that I’m complaining…” Fredrick finally voiced. “But y’all are affectionate as fuck today! What’s the occasion?”

Silence. And he knew for a fact that the three of them heard his question. But once that smell—that smelly smell that smelled amazingly alluring—graced his nose again, he knew he had his answer. Even more so when he could hear the vestiges of over-affectionate, horny giggles about to erupt.

He rolled his eyes, sighing again in good humor.

“Actually, don’t answer that. I think I’ve got a preeeeeetty good idea.”

Laughter erupted regardless, and the three finally released him from their combined holds, though Fredrick kept his hand fused with Stella’s for the rest of the trek. Still, Fredrick couldn’t exactly shake the feeling that there was something at play in the background. That, like with many times before, Stella had managed to pull a sneaky on him and punk him in some brilliant way that usually ended well.

Not that he really had anything to fear. His intuition hadn’t failed him recently, but he’d just be ready for the figurative pie to smash into his face at some point today.

This mare was… up to something.

[A Little While Later…]

It didn’t take long for the group to come up on Ponyville’s shopping outlet, situated just on the outskirts of the expanding town center. It was nothing like Fredrick had experienced back on Earth, which made sense, but for the size of Ponyville, it was sufficiently large and crowded with the hustle and bustle of other ponies going about their business that it still managed to surprise him.

And front and center was their destination: ‘Cost and Prop.’ He sorta got what they were going for, but in his naïve opinion, he figured they could’ve come up with a better name than that.

Fredrick didn’t dwell any further on it when Stella yanked him by the elbow inside with the rest of the group, and the ‘super store’ itself was just as he had expected: aisles upon aisles of set props, full costumes, costume pieces, and raw materials for making either of these for DIY projects. He was by no means a creative type, but his aforementioned inner child was already conjuring ideas.

And after they all checked in at the front service center and got set up with their back room, the four of them decided to take thirty minutes to split up and gather whatever they wanted for their photoshoot. They had two hours, a private room, and a professional camera to use to their heart’s content, with the ability to buy the pictures after the fact… which Fredrick would absolutely be doing.

This was gonna be fun. Especially when everyone was fueled by their own excitement, and a teeny bit of alcohol that was had with lunch.

After a little while, everyone had gathered what they wanted, at least for the first round of shooting. Midnight stepped back into the room with some clothes folded in her arms.

“Sorry that took a while… but I’m all set~,” she said.

Fredrick smiled widely.

“Awesome! We’ve all got our stuff, so I guess all that’s left is… who goes first?” he asked.

Stella wordlessly turned to him.

As did Midnight.

As did Schnee.

And he deadpanned.

“…really, girls?”

Stella slapped her hand to the top of his back.

“You fuckin’ brought it up, cunt! Whoever smelled it, fucked it! Guess yer it, love~,” she so eloquently put it, then patted him a few times.

“I agree with Stella~,” said Midnight. “I really wanna see you all dressed up~.”

Schnee was in full agreement.

“Ja! Go on then!” she shooed him towards the dressing room.

With arms crossed, he rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless.

“Fiiiiine. Gimme a second,” he said.

With his ‘equipment’ in hand in a basket that he had left on the ground, he made his way over to the dressing room. As he stripped down and promptly replaced his clothes with his costume pieces, he smirked to himself—he was sure he wasn’t gonna be the highlight of the show, but there was one thing he knew for sure: Stella was gonna love his choice.

Not more than a minute and a half later, Fredrick threw the dressing room door open… and emerged in a full charcoal suit. This in and of itself wasn’t entirely special, since he had to wear suits for his role in the Ministry. What was a nice little accent and addition was both the flower carnation on his breast pocket, as well as the thicc cigar in one hand and a pistol in the other—both fake.

The old-timey hat atop his combed hair—which likely ruined it—was the cherry on top of the whole ensemble. He felt pretty complete with the whole getup… and he had half a mind to schedule an appointment with a tailor when he got back to Canterlot to get it something like this fitted appropriately.

Stepping in front and center of the girls with a show-off, posing saunter, the reaction was invigorating—especially from Stella.

“Well... fuck me mate, in all senses~!” she cooed.

Fredrick lost his composure at that, his legs buckled slightly and he doubled over in laughter.

”Fuck’s sake.. that gets me of all the things you’ve said today??”

The partially exaggerated, and somehow mostly genuine wolf whistling didn’t cease from the other two lovely gals present.

“Lookin’ hot, Freddie~,” Midnight called out. “Nice and submissive~…”

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow so hard it nearly tore a hole through the ceiling.

“Fuckin’… excuse me, Midds?!” he coughed out through further stifled laughter.

Stella also laughed heartily after that, but Fredrick could feel her golden eyes undressing him completely at the moment… and he knew for a fact that if the two of them had this room to themselves, they’d be paying for A LOT more than just for the photoshoot rental. And if she didn’t stop, he thought she was gonna bite clean through her lower lip with how hard her fang was clutching it.

Schnee wasn’t keen to be sidelined in the overly flirtatious chat, either:

“Wie schön, Friedrich~,” she giggled, and Fred thought he could detect a purring edge to her words.

What wasn’t up for debate was when Stella whistled and actually purred at him.

“How ‘bout ya pose fer that camera and give us a proper show, sugartits, innit?”

Fredrick couldn’t contain his laughter by that point anymore, and was practically clearing out his lungs by the time the magical scene changer set up on the wall behind him transitioned. Suddenly, he was front and center in what looked like a brick and metal warehouse, dark and foreboding… a place rife with old-timey gangster activity, at least from his world.

Seemed like the idea was similar here, and Fredrick felt he might as well play the full part as he fell into his first pose:

“Ayyy now look ‘ere, who ya callin’ ‘sugartits,’ see? Here’s what’s actually gonna happen, toots…” he pointed right at Stella with his fake cigar. His impression was terrible, and no one’s face was without cracking smiles on the edge of guffaw right now.

“…yer gonna hike that figurative skirt up and get that ass over here if ya know what’s good fer ya, see~.”

Stella had to relocate at that one. Midnight was having a grand ol’ time, and Schnee looked almost second-hand embarrassed on Stella’s behalf at his antics.

Once his wife had composed himself enough, she got behind the camera and merely shook her head with a wide smile on her face.

“Just… fuckin’ pose ya stupid cunt I fuckin’ love you, mate~.”

And with that, his personal shoot began, and true to his own antics, he made sure to strike the shittiest, most inappropriate poses he could for the character he was playing… much to both Stella’s annoyance and the pleasure of all of them simultaneously. From striking typical Hollywood poses with his gun, to the cigar in his mouth, to aiming said weapon at the camera, the tripod-mounted camera kept snapping under his madmare Stella’s eager shutter finger.

And every time his ass—clad nicely in his borrowed slacks—so much as cocked out a single inch, it evoked joking (and in somewhat genuine) whistles and cheers from the girls… especially Stella, who had not stopped purring since the start. Fredrick’s confidence didn’t exactly mind the stratospheric boost.

Stella stepped back from the camera after taking what seemed like a hundred or so photos, and mockingly wiped her forehead of sweat.

“Whew lad… Fred you fuckin’ better get promoted to a permanent fucking Minister position, I don’t give a fuck if ya gotta fellate some cunt because I want you wearin’ these fuckin’ suits A LOT more than ya do~,” she decreed.

Figuring he was done with his shoot, Fredrick stepped forward off the set and shrugged.

“I mean… there’s really no goddamn point in that if you’re just gonna tear them off me anyway the moment I walk in, soooo…”

“Aye, and? And besides, that’s not entirely true, fucker… I can just gawk as well! Ya ever think I just like lookin’ at you, ya conceited fuck?”

Fredrick mocked her voice:

“OOooh OOkaaAAyy SteLLa~.”

Midnight immediately raised her hand and rapidly stated:

“If she doesn’t tear it off you, I will!”

Fredrick wasn’t exactly surprised at that statement, and with a wide smirk, merely rolled his eyes in her direction.

“Yes. I’m quite sure you’d be there to shoulder that heavy burden for your good friend,” he joked.

Schnee meekly raised her hand and—with a deep blush on her face—added:

“I’ll do it too, if neither are willing…”

Stella’s attempt to keep herself composed died at that instant, and she lost it entirely once more. Midnight’s face morphed into one of prideful shock before she, too, fell in line with Stella. The weight of what Schnee said appeared to fully register with herself, and her entire face seemed to color like the roses she grew before she likewise descended into depraved laughter.

Fredrick just stood there, overdressed, and shaking his head as he watched his wife and close friends be the hot, lovable shitheads they were.

“Y’all are so retarded and I love you,” he huffed, then added. “Not that I’m complaining about all the fawning. I wonder what’s gotten into y’all…~” he asked rhetorically.

“Oi! You shut yer whore mouth! Aye! We’re horny as fuck because of… reasons. Nothin’ tae see here~. Move along, lad!”

Chortling, Fredrick shrugged open-handed as he stepped away from the set. And once he rejoined the group, Midnight stepped forward.

“I wanna go next!” she declared, and then excitedly grabbed Stella’s arm before she could embrace Fredrick. She looked at her, unsure.

“Aye?”

“And you’re coming with me! Nonnegotiable!” Midnight added, and Stella didn’t even get a chance to protest as she was dragged into the dressing room like a caveman claiming a wife.

It all happened so suddenly, and Fredrick just stared at where his wife once stood with their friend. Silence enveloped the room, though that meant he was alone with Schnee once more for the moment. Shrugging again, he smiled as she turned to his other friend, chuckling, as she faced him in kind.

“Well. With that display, I think we’re in for a bit of a treat~,” he wagered.

Schnee seemed to agree.

“Mhmm! I can’t wait… though I have to say…” she began, and Schnee’s little hands smoothed out the lapels on Fredrick’s suit jacket.

He softly smirked at the gesture, and watched her face as she was practically undressing him as well. Poor girl—her heat was probably just wracking her right now. It had to have been torture for her to be out with all of them, and yet, she was keeping it together pretty well all things considered… much better than Stella sexually harassing him on the best of days.

“…you pull a suit off well! You look really… really nice…~” she stumbled on a couple of her words, seemingly supplanting one for another at the last possible minute while her cheeks remained colored.

His turn to blush a smidge. But at the same time, he thought about how to respond… and he evilly decided to go the extra mile…

…because he was an asshole.

“Heh, thanks so much, Schnee. Though I’m sure this won’t even hold a small candle to what you’ve got planned~,” he replied.

Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second, and Fredrick could’ve sworn that her pupils dilated massively at the comment. Nevertheless, he got to witness her face damn-near turn into a red rose whilst retreating into her posture and shimmying in her sundress by virtue of her girly giggles.

“I uhh…” she shied away and averted her gaze. “…just a little something planned, is all. Nothing special~…”

Right on cue, the door to the dressing room unlatched and was unceremoniously thrown open. Where two lovely mares went in, two had emerged just as expected.

Though Fredrick’s eyes expanded like Donkey Kong expanded his dong. He was pretty sure that he heard two sets of fleshy slaps from when his and Schnee’s jaws hit the goddamn floor.

Midnight made herself readily apparent first and foremost, with a tight, form-fitting club dress that Fredrick likened entirely to Jessica Rabbit… with the deep hued crimson red, the subtle sparkle of the fabric, and the rather Norwegian fjord-like, plunging neckline to boot. He wasn’t exactly sure how she managed it in such a short time, but her blonde mane was even pulled back and flowing straight down her shoulders, with a wide bit of her natural bangs covering her left eye.

She was positively stunning. And with that knowing look on her face, combined with the normal confidence she exuded by just existing, she knew this fact fully.

Midnight then added to her overdone allure with an extra sensual edge to her words:

“Now… I believe I’m ready for my shoot~,” she said, then promptly flipped her mane back.

Fredrick could easily hide the fact that his dick began to stir. He wasn’t so sure about poor Schnee, when—glancing back at her—she looked like she was about to pass out from blood flow to her face.

…or simultaneously, egress of blood elsewhere.

Stella quickly followed Midnight up with similar tone:

“As am I~!”

The mare, the myth, the legend herself was dressed in something that Fredrick couldn’t ever recall her having any interest in: one of the pinkest, frilliest dresses accented by thin white fabric over her stomach and chest that made her look exactly like a stereotypical barmaid in some fantasy adventure. Her own perfect chest was nicely framed for sure… but what really stood out was the length of her frilly skirt…

…or rather, the lack thereof.

And he had zero qualms getting hard for his wife. Hell, he figured that if she so much as moved with her natural poise that she normally sported, her ass would be on full display to the group. Her bright, beaming smile brought it all together: she absolutely loved the getup.

Probably more than he did—and he loved it.

She glanced disbelievingly at Midnight.

“And here you thought I’d fuckin’ hate this! Fuck off! I love frilly shit like this, mate!”

Stella gave up a twirl on the tips of her hooves… and as expected, everyone was treated to a sight of the bottom of her ass, barely retaining any modesty with her panties underneath the super short, frilly skirt. The poor man thought he was about to have another coronary incident.

“Jesus fucking Christ…” he managed, and he figured he was gonna start collecting dirt on his tongue from how much it was lolling out of his mouth from the sight.

He followed up with:

“It fits you perfectly, babe! And here you were talking about wanting to tear this suit off me? Girl, you’re lucky we don’t have this room to ourselves~,” he flirted.

Stella purred back in return, ever eager to rise to the occasion. She let her hands wander over her chest, down her stomach, and pressed the fabric of the skirt tightly against her ass as her hands’ journey continued down her thighs.

“Oh aye, now~? Guessin’ ye like how this hugs me curves~…” she replied and offered up a snaggle-fanged smirk to boot.

“Pfft. Understatement of the fuckin’ year,” Fred answered. “I’ll trade you my suit if you let me make your outfit un-hug those curves!”

“Don’t ya fuckin’ threaten me with a great time, ya leaky fuck~.”

He knew exactly what she meant when she referred to him as ‘leaky.’ Stella wasn’t exactly wrong on that front. But beyond that, beyond Stella… there was Midnight. Her very existence at this moment was something that should’ve been inscribed in legends.

My god… that fucking neckline, though.

He didn’t have to say anything out loud. Midnight knew well how she looked, and the look on his face might as well have been a town herald or crier in the 1400s. A single glance back at Schnee—who returned a knowing glance right back at him—told him that they silently arrived at the same conclusion about the copper-coated mare.

As Stella and Midnight got set up, Fredrick leaned over to Schnee and hissed through his smile as inconspicuously as he could:

“These girls are killing me. I swear to god…”

Schnee seemed to almost take offense to that. She scoffed.

“They’re killing you?! Schweinhund, they’re killing me. I’m in the deepest trenches of my heat right now!” she hissed right back.

Fredrick was impressed. He didn’t expect her to acknowledge her condition at all… but then again, it was obvious, even to him. Perhaps especially to him.

He smirked—perhaps a little too smugly.

“Fair point, Schnee. Fair point.”

“Oi! Cock-pockets!” Stella called out, having taken her place right next to Midnight.

Whilst Fredrick and Schnee had been busy gawking and talking, the two had already set up their own scene: a cozy speakeasy-type venue, where both Stella as a barmaid and Midnight as a pseudo-Jessica Rabbit would fit in magnificently.

“You lot got that soddin’ camera up an’ runnin’? We’re fuckin’ ready fer this shit~!”

Fredrick was on the scene and took up his holy, rightful mantle.

“All set! I’d say start looking sexy… but I think you two’ve already got that shit well and covered.”

And with that, the photoshoot began in earnest.

Fredrick took some initial shots of both Stella, such as basic portraits, for starters. Stella couldn’t help but cock her hips out just enough so that the curve of her ass was barely visible in the final shots… but a little imagination would absolutely fill in the rest. By the time he was ready to move on to Midnight, Stella was practically shoving her almost-bare ass into the camera—likely entirely for Fredrick’s own pleasure.

He knew it. She knew it. Hell, Stella could read him like a children’s book by this point. She even winked at him and drew her tongue over her upper lip when she turned around for a final shot: when she hiked the skirt up and pulled her panties a little too tightly against her nethers.

He was probably gonna have to buy these slacks at this point, with the imprint his member was leaving on the fabric already. And as much as he loved the view and made a mental note to buy a few copies of these pictures himself, he figured it was time to move on to Midnight.

True to her character, Middy immediately struck a deep bending pose… which allowed the camera and consequently he and Schnee unfettered viewing access to her equally deep cleavage. Part of him was more impressed that the tight dress managed to keep her ‘all in’ rather than just slip right down, but in a land of magic, even the impossible was somehow possible.

By the end of some of the lewdest pictures he had ever taken of a mare… and making sure that Schnee wasn’t going to pass out from seeing the same things that he was, he snapped the last photo: one where he could’ve sworn she was about to practically pull the cups off her breasts cold-turkey.

Thankfully—or perhaps, unfortunately—that didn’t happen. Schnee promptly stepped forward to direct more complex joint poses while Fredrick dutifully stood behind the camera and just… admired.

More tame poses followed that Fredrick felt were pretty standard, but in light of the outfits and lighting, were just as gorgeous as the others. Leaning their backs against one another, linking arms, Stella holding up a fake beer glass while Midnight grabbed a microphone… simple things.

But then, Schnee’s suggestions became… lewd, much to the pleasant surprise of everyone around her. The madmares just… complied with her suggestions without a single thought thereafter.

And Fredrick thought they’d ask at least a question or two—Stella especially—when Midnight was directed to press herself up against Stella’s back, and then heft her barmaid-uniform-accentuated tits up and high. The same pose was repeated with the two swapping positions right after.

Was this completely in character for the two of them, including his wife?

Yes. One-hundred percent.

Did it still shock him?

Perhaps a little bit.

Was it arousing as all high hell?

Absolutely.

Fredrick had half a mind to chug back those potions at this instant and call in that hotel scheme that Stella had concocted.

Thankfully, the final picture ended just before he could decide on such a course of action.

“Whew!” Stella said, wiping her forehead victoriously. “I think that shit went pretty well!”

“I’ll say!” said Midnight. “I hope you got all the pictures, Freddie~.”

“Oh, you know it!” Fredrick replied. “I don’t think I could’ve missed a single detail of you two even if I wanted to, goddamn. Pretty sure I took over a hundred pictures. Seventy percent of those are probably duplicates from some of y’all’s more… sultry poses~.”

“Perfect~.”

Stella then added:

“I guess that means… yer up, Schnee! Show us what ya got!”

Excitedly blushing, Schnee nodded, grabbed her bag of clothes and ‘equipment,’ and made off for the dressing room with an energetic bound.

“Ja! Ein moment, bitte!”

She closed the door behind her, and with that, Fredrick slunk on up next to Stella and dropped his arm around her waist. At this point, he didn’t care how much all the heat and pre-heat addled mares were affecting him—he just wanted to be as close to Stella as possible right now and dote on her for a little while.

Fredrick then planted a rather wet kiss on her cheek when she threw her arms around him in response, much to her giggly glee.

“God you look so fuckin’ hot in that~. Lemme know if you like the outfit that much and I’ll buy it for you, sweets!” he offered, and nuzzled his nose into her neck.

Oh how much he loved making his hardcore wife blush like the pretty mare she was.

“Heh, mmmm~ I’ll never say no tae this kind of attention if ya do~,” she replied, and then proceeded to melt Fredrick’s heart when she turned his face properly to hers so they could share a kiss.

Midnight cut in before Fredrick could answer properly to that… though what drew his initial attention to her was an odd mixture of a giggle and a needy whine. And when he cocked an eyebrow at her, he could see her pretty much squeezing her legs together nice and tightly.

“Fuck you two are so hot when you’re so cute like that…”

Fred and Stella shared a weird look with one another, then promptly burst into simultaneous laughter.

“PFFT! The fuck does that even mean, lass?!” questioned Stella.

The dressing room door then unlocked, and slowly crept open… and yet, Schnee was not forthcoming from its ajar state.

Midnight called out:

“Uhhh… Schnee? Everything okay?”

A massively shy voice called back:

“…Ja…”

“Are you okay, sweetie? Do you need help?”

“N-No… I think I’m okay. I just think I may not have thought through my choices well…”

Stella was there to the rescue with her own brand of encouragement:

“All good! Just fuckin’ own it, lass. Whatever that shit is, yer gonna absolutely rock it!”

Silence reigned for a few more moments, and that’s when the dressing room door opened further, and Schnee finally emerged, inch by inch. As she finally came more and more into the light, there were now three sets of shattered jaws that had to be dusted up and collected from the floor.

And he was pretty sure that Midnight’s shattered the loudest.

With questionable confidence in the slow, deliberate steps she took, Schnee strutted out of the dressing room with much less clothing than she went in with. In fact, the first thing Fredrick noticed was the fact that he could see her legs…

…her whole-ass legs, along with a few other scars that he had no idea she had.

Speaking of scars, the ones he was aware of were on full display atop her bare midriff, which in turn was framed exquisitely by her choice of simple attire: a size-too-small, snug bikini top, and a bikini bottom, both with a forest-green camo pattern. Nestled between the strap pulled taut against her right hip, and her hip itself, was a generic-looking plastic stick grenade replica. Like him, she also held a fake submachine gun of sorts in her grasp.

The whole look was literally topped off with an equally camouflaged, basic-looking army helmet. Her modest-length, jet-black locks cascaded down her back and shoulders… all which served to contrast immensely with the deepest, reddest blush on her face that Fredrick had ever seen.

She was clearly stretching her confidence to her breaking point—and despite the lovely view, he respected the fuck out of that.

“I uhhh…” she broke the silence, pivoting a little nervously on her hooves. She still managed one hell of a bright smile.

Despite how much this probably was for her, it was not difficult for anyone to discern how excited she was. Whether hopped up by her heat, the booze from lunch, a desire to broaden her horizons… or some combination of the three, Schnee looked like she was still having a whale of a time.

“...I think I’m ready for my turn!”

Midnight was the first to reply, a pleasantly stunned state still lacing her words:

“God… damn girl! Where did this come from because I wanna see more of that~!” she teased.

Schnee only responded with an even brighter, redder-faced smile and a bit of a whine. Fredrick wasn’t blind to Schnee squeezing her legs together for dear life. The poor girl must’ve had some ethereally powerful, figurative-blue-balls right now. That fact sure as hell didn’t prevent him from taking in the sight though…

…nor adding his own words to the mix:

“This is ‘a little something?’ he asked. Way to outdo all of us with simple materials, Schnee! Unfathomably gorgeous,” he asserted.

Stella built upon Fredrick’s words:

“What’s this, love? Schnee bein’ hotter than Celestia’s sun? There’s literally nothing new about this. What’s that phrase you say, Freddie? ‘What’s new, Scooby Doo?’” she joked.

Fredrick had zero expectation of those words coming from Stella’s mouth, so he stood no chance when another chuckle fit took over. They weren’t privy to Schnee squeezing her thighs together even more, nor the deepening and spreading of her blush to other parts of her body.

Her response was meek, and barely audible:

“D-Danke sehr…~”

Midnight, pretty much a creature of pure horniness at this moment for the mare in front of her, doggedly urged her towards the faux-stage.

“You are gonna nail this one! Let’s get the scene set, and don’t worry everyone…” she addressed Fredrick and Stella with knowing, lewd eyes:

“I got the camera~.”

Neither party of the married couple was keen on denying her that honor.

“Knock yourself out, girl,” said Fredrick.

“Fuck on, lass~” added Stella.

It didn’t take long for such a scene to be set, as Schnee’s attire dictated something quite simple: lots of rolling, lush grass, some flowers interspersed, and a lush backdrop with a blue, barely-cloudy sky above. Schnee took her place right in the center, but as she waited for Midnight to make the final adjustments on the camera, the Flower Mare glanced at Fredrick and Stella, both who were watching her get ready.

She smirked knowingly, and the two were privy to one little trick she had up her non-existent sleeve:

She gingerly removed the stick grenade that was held against her hip, and instead found it a new home nestled between her already-cramped tits.

“Now I’m ready~,” she said, never dropping ‘communal eye-contact’ with Fredrick nor Stella.

Especially Fredrick… and his eyes widened as he finally averted his gaze.

“For fuck’s sake…”

Stella felt every need to snicker at his ‘misfortune.’ Her knowing, shit-eating grin could break sieges.

“Somethin’ wrong, love~?”

“Nope. Not at all,” he smirked knowingly right back at her.

He knew for a fact that she was enjoying the views just as much as he was. The perk of having hot friends was always free eye-candy—the best kind of candy, considering it wouldn’t make one fat. Well, not make his stomach fat, at least.

By that point, Schnee was all set up, and Midnight set to work on getting her in some ‘suitable’ poses for her attire. Though in reality, Fredrick wondered how much of the poses were ‘suitable’ for Schnee and weren’t just for Midnight’s own viewing pleasure…

She had her start off pretty tame even by anyone else’s standards: basic ‘military’ stances and poses. She had her stand at attention, then give everyone a salute, followed by a mid-marching pose, and standing tall with her gun at the low-ready. The entire time, Midnight had ‘instructed’ Schnee to keep an aura of professional, soldiery stoicism.

All this while she still had a fake stick grenade nestled in her cleavage. He was no military man, but probably wasn’t in line with equipment regulations.

The Alemaneian and Equestrian militaries could forgo these alleged regulations, for all he was concerned.

Art by my friend: Fubuki!

Then came the less-than-professional poses, per Midnight’s direction… having started off with Schnee’s hand on her cocked-out hip, gun pointed towards the ‘sky.’ From there, Midnight ordered her to turn around, putting her ass on full display—Fredrick was beside himself at this point by the time she bent over and glanced over her shoulder back at the camera.

Not that he didn’t get massive helpings of eye-candy from Stella’s and Midnight’s little session… but everyone knew it was a little bit different with Schnee. She was supposed to be the more ‘restrained’ one of the group.

Schnee raised her forearms up a bit more than what would’ve been natural for her current pose, which drew all eyes to her chest. She knew exactly what she was doing.

But in thinking back on this from the moment he met her… this idea of her never really played out. In fact, if anything, her heat didn’t exactly bring this much more risque, adventurous side out of her, most likely. No, all it did was amplify what was clearly already there…

…in all the best ways.

A moist whisper broke Fredrick’s deep concentration—both on the view and on his reverie:

“Still enjoyin’ the show, lad~?” Stella dared to ask… and then immediately licked his earlobe for good measure, which forced a sharp, pleasure-filled jitter up the back of his neck.

Fred angled his gaze to his mare and flashed her a knowing, profoundly impressed smile.

“Girl you have no idea.”

“Hehe, yer right. I don’t~...” she began, and Fredrick pursed his lips, chastising himself for not expecting Stella to then press her whole hand up and into his crotch.

She purred upon feeling exactly what she wanted to feel.

“...but I do now~,” she then added, accenting her lewd words with a couple, tactical strokes of his length through his jeans.

All he did was stare straight at her eyes, and as lovely as the rather crude beginnings of the clothed handjob were, Fredrick had no desire to give Stella the reaction she was hoping for… just out of loving spite. His artificially stoic reaction to her antics produced the desired result for him, and Stella’s lewd face quickly devolved into silent cackling.

“You done?” he asked whilst he smirked lopsidedly.

She stopped stroking.

“Not enjoyin’ the heavy pettin’ in front of our clearly-occupied friends, mate~?”

“I guess it’s a good thing Sveta couldn’t make it today, because you know she’d put the kibosh on literally all of this, heh~.”

“Well it’s a fuckin’ good thing she isn’t, then hmmm? Besides, she’s busy today and tomorrow. Hangin’ out with her new coltfriend or whatever… In… Inspired? I think his name is? Fuck me I don’t remember.”

Fredrick beamed.

“No shit! Good for her!”

And Stella brought it right around back where it started when she gazed back into his eyes and lowered her lids.

“Aye… and even better fer us~.”

He finally allowed his eyelids to lower in kind, then promptly teased:

“Sounds like someone might wanna grab that hotel pretty soon… you holdin’ up okay, Stel’~?”

“Well enough I’d say, though…”

Fredrick heard her words trail off, but what intrigued him the most was the sudden glimmer in her eyes as she stared off into the distance behind him. The lopsided up-curl of the right side of her lips told him everything.

“...You’re thinking of something,” he accused, smirking. “Go on! What the hell’s on your mind?” he asked.

“I have no idea what yer talkin’ about, mate~.”

“Oh no you don’t! Speak!”

“...None yer fuckin’ business, cuntshit~”

“Oh don’t you ‘cuntshit’ me, you batty thot!”

“Oi, ya still never told me what the fuck that means!”

“Damn girl, you dodged that question so hard the conscription board is looking for you! I know you… I’m wise to your ways after all this time~,” he said, throwing a single index finger towards her face with a knowing smile.

Stella giggled, amused.

“Thinkin’ yer ahead of anythin’ that I fuckin’ concoct in me head… have ya learned fuckin’ nothin’ over the years~?”

“And have you not learned that I can still surprise you when you least expect it~?” Fredrick shot right back.

Stella didn’t seem particularly impressed.

“On occasion~. But really, can I not let me mind wander? I’m about tae get bent over a table by me heat… fuckin’ cut me some slack, cunt!”

“I’ll bend you over the table…”

“That’s the plan~” Stella said, then turned back towards the show at hand.

Fredrick did the same, and the two of them found the red-faced Schnee on her knees, hands gingerly resting her weapon on her thighs, which had the effect of pushing her breasts up, front and center. That fake stick grenade still remained faithfully wedged where it belonged.

Stella called out:

“FUCKIN’ HOTTER THAN TARTARUS, SCHNEE! AAAAAAS ALWAYS!”

Fredrick crossed his arms and nodded slowly, more than happy to just quietly enjoy the show while he attempted to fathom what was going on in Stella’s horny little mind. He was nudged off balance when his wife thrust his shoulder into his.

“Ain’t that right, love?”

“Oh hell yes! What Stella said, and my words still stand: unfathomably gorgeous. Hot, even. Stunning, if you will. Alluring, if you’re so inclined…”

Each step further that Fredrick took in reiterating his compliment drew further laughter from Stella… and further giggling and blushing from Schnee. She certainly didn’t seem paralyzed like she did when she first emerged from the dressing room, and instead went right back to posing for Midnight’s camera…

…but not before giving Stella and Fredrick an open-mouthed wink for their words.

“Danke, Leute~!”

Stella slunk herself back under his arm, though with the added bonus of her lavishing his cheek and neck with a few tender kisses… kisses that were in no way merely platonic nor just romantic. Fredrick openly bit his lip and shuddered as he felt a familiar, overwhelming wetness on the side of his neck—she was licking him again.

The smug, clandestinely-horny smile that formed on his face further warmed his chest when he took Stella fully into his arms… if only just to give her better access to his neck. All the while, the entire thought of what might be going on in that batty head of hers melted away under the onslaught of her tender lovin’.

At this rate, Fredrick was already considering which hotels were in easy walking distance from Schnee’s place. He sure as hell wasn’t gonna be rude and fuck his wife on the Flower Mare’s couch if Stella’s heat struck full-force tonight. He could already envision it:

Tonight’s gonna be fun~.

[Dinnertime]

‘Good Times at Wavy Mane’s’

This world had been fucking with him with the names since the very first weeks he was thrown into this particular mortal coil. Even so, there hadn’t been a single time he could remember where he found his way to one of these ‘imposter’ establishments and walked away disappointed.

This time was no different, and Fredrick found his stomach successfully filled with both exquisite food and drinks that were a little too cheap for his liking… mainly because he ended up grabbing a few more beers than he probably should have. He sure as hell wasn’t counting too much though, considering it was a break away from work and the hustle and bustle of Canterlot, and amongst some of the greatest friends he could’ve asked for.

The dimly-lit atmosphere of the dining room, along with the easy music still playing for those who wanted to dance in the dance room next door provided more than enough ambiance for their animated talking.

Stella finished snickering before continuing what she had been getting to:

“So in the end… heh… that’s what made me kinda question this lovable cunt’s sexuality a smidge~,” she teased, nudging Fredrick’s shoulder, who sat right next to her.

And while Fredrick rolled his eyes at the story—all with a good natured humor written on his smile—Midnight and Schnee had their own input to add:

“Wow Freddy… I hadn’t the slightest inclination~,” said Midnight.

“And here I thought you were perfectly happy with Stella’s advances by this point!” Schnee further teased.

Fredrick finished about half of what remained of his beer before setting it back on the table and regarding his wife with a deadpan look.

“Girl, I had a very important meeting in the morning… and you know good and well it wouldn’t’ve stopped with just that! Hell, a simple makeout turns into a two-hour fuckfest with you… not that I complain at all, but I had to be the responsible one here!”

“...so ye deny yer fiance of the time proper fuckin’ intimacy… over work? Fuckin’ scandalous, mate!”

Fredrick threw her classic index finger back in her face when he jokingly aggressively reminded her:

“Woman! First of all, how dare you! Secondly, you came into my room! Demanded to suck my dick… and then, when I didn’t have time to continue beyond that… you had the audacity to call me gay?!”

Schnee and Midnight promptly lost their shit, while Stella was barely holding it together so she could deliver her simple rebuttal:

“Aye!”

Fredrick let his features sully, feigning being offended, though in no way able to keep the smirk off his face from the absurdity of it all. He simply turned away from her, faced the other two mares of the group, and took the remaining sip of his drink as if making peace with a revelation.

“She hates me,” he said.

“PFFFT!” Stella nearly choked on her own spit. Wide-eyed, she added: “Hello?! You fuckin’ wot, mate?!”

The laughter was ceaseless from the other parties. Fredrick continued impishly:

“She absolutely despises me. The absolute vitriol in her voice… she just wants me to throw myself into oncoming chariot traffic with these hateful words of hers.”

“Pardon the fuck outta me?!”

“I ain’t pardoning shit! I heard what you said!”

“You can fuckin’ pardon deez, cunt.”

“Don’t recite the old texts to me, wench. I was there when you fell for them the first time.”

“That’s it!” declared Stella, then stood up, hooked her arms under Fredrick’s and forced him to his feet as well.

“We’re goin’ tae fuckin’ dance before I fuck yer mouth closed!”

“...that’s not how it works. That’s literally not how any of this works! But you know I’d never turn down dancing with you, babe~! I don’t think you’ve ever shown me a bad time.”

It was all worth it just to see Stella’s genuine beaming, radiating all the dim, slowly-color-cycling ambient light from her eyes. He properly took her hand, though she promptly cast said hand aside so she could link arms with him instead. Said smile morphed into her usual, joking visage as she replied with:

“Yet~.”

He then watched as Stella glanced behind her to the rest of the party, whom he saw were also getting to their hooves.

“Oi, Desperate Housewives—ya gonna join us in workin’ off lunch and supper, mates?”

Fredrick stifled what would’ve been an ugly cackle at the top of his throat as Midnight answered rhetorically:

“When have I ever turned down a night of getting down, little pony~?” she asked whilst crossing her arms under her chest.

Schnee followed up with:

“Ja… it’s been a rest week for me, so I probably need to more than any of you,” she quipped, adjusting her cute dress and running her ceramic hand once through her mane, fluffing it.

Stella led the party away from the table and towards the ‘party room,’ where the music gradually became louder as they sauntered closer. True to her fashion though, the goddamn bat mare took hold of Fredrick by both of his wrists, wrapped his arms around her from behind, and promptly attached them right to her chest.

Fredrick was trying to understand his mare’s actions, especially as the two were suddenly getting some rather… curious looks from others.

“Wha… what’re you doing, retard?”

Stella continued to press her back into his front as she manipulated his hands very specifically to her liking. More-so in trying to solidify his hold on her tits in a way that his fingers damn-near hooked on the hem of her shirt collar, almost pulling it down entirely.

“What’s it fuckin’ look like, cunt? I’m tryin’a get ye tae love meeee!”

Fredrick still let Stella lead him and their party, staring emotionlessly ahead whilst he noticed some attention from the general public being drawn to their act.

“You’re making me grab your fuckin’ honkadigeridoos from behind, woman.”

“Love is love!”

“Love only goes so far when you can get slapped with a goddamn public indecency charge, you lovable mental case!”

Stella opted to ignore him entirely, then remarked lewdly towards their rear:

“Righteo~! Try tae keep it appropriate on the floor ya two fuckin’... hornballs.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you of all ponies right now, Stella!” Midnight protested.

And as Stella brought Fredrick through crowded, humid dance floor and claimed a place for the two of them, he snickered when he brought up a rather cogent point:

“I mean, we’ve been the farthest away from appropriate ourselves. Moreso you,” he pointed out.

“Prolly not, mate… but gives us some fake moral highground, aye?” she batted her eyelashes with an ‘innocent’ smile.

Fredrick was ready with a quip of his own:

“What do you mean? Highground isn't here?”

“Hah! I should rip yer fuckin’ nuts off fer that one.”

“All that for a pun? And babe let’s be real—you’d suffer more than me, really. We’ve been over this with the last four-hundred times you’ve said you were gonna rip my balls or cock off… or some combination of the two of them—”

“Alright alriiiiight I get it… and aye, yer right. So fuckin’ scratch that!” she declared, and twirled on her hooves to face him barely a couple feet away.

In the midst of the crowded floor, the shimmering lights, and a lull in the booming beats as the music switched to the next song, Stella had carved out a little spot for the two of them.

Ever flirtatious, she added, poking his nose all the while:

“You keep yer cock and balls right where I found ‘em last… because you know I’ll be comin’ back to ‘em shortly~,” she asserted.

Fredrick shrugged trivially, chuckling, though he began to match Stella’s little gyrations as she found a rhythm to the start of the next song.

“I uhhh… yeah. You got it. I’ll make sure of that, Stel’,” he affirmed, smirking.

The two glanced over Fredrick’s shoulder and found Midnight and Schnee in similar circumstances to them… luckily just a few feet away and beginning the process of getting down to the music. Fredrick remembered the first night they all went out on that bar crawl for Stella’s birthday, and what started as idle dancing between the two of them turned into a proper show of twirls and swinging.

He imagined there would be a similar show put on tonight.

From there, the ‘traditional’ conversation withered away in favor of Fredrick letting his body and the music do the talking with the gorgeous mare that stood across from him. Smiles abound, Fredrick’s confidence in his legwork was much more sound, considering that Stella had forcefully drilled some proper choreography and coordination into him over the years he’d known her, and the many many times he had the privilege of dancing with her.

And even since that first time… boy was it ever such a privilege to watch this batpony move as she did.

Stella, true to her nature, had zero shame this time around… and once the first couple, up-beat songs melded into a somewhat slower rhythm, Stella went straight for the lewd moves. As Fredrick shifted and kept his feet in acceptable cadence to the beat, he was understandably drawn to his wife’s motions… namely, how she teasingly tugged at the hem of her shirt whilst shimmying her hips from side to side.

Until her shirt had rode up to the point that her entire, slim tummy—with those delicious, semi-defined abs of hers that he had run his tongue over many times—on full display for his viewing pleasure. He could feel his brain returning to monke by that point. The dim, multi-colored light only added to the allure.

He bit his lip at the sight. This mare treated him much too well.

And sensing that she was probably enjoying this just as much—if not more—than he was, Stella slunk on up to him, and pressed herself nice and close… not that there was an excuse to do so since the floor didn’t get much more crowded, but Fredrick didn’t need any excuse to be closer to her. Hell, he wasn’t sure that wrapping their arms around each other and intimately holding one another while they idly swayed and stepped in unison to the music really counted as ‘dancing.’

Yet, here they were.

Fredrick smiled widely as Stella lay her head on his chest, and in a move that he never got tired of, she righted her posture just a bit so she could whisper into his ear:

“Love you, cunt~.”

The feeling was beyond mutual.

“Love you too, twat~.”

Still holding each other, Fredrick gladly met her halfway when Stella leaned in and up for a proper, yet simple kiss… one that began to quickly morph and spiral into something much more intense to their liking.

Though two familiar bodies entered into their ‘personal space’ and reminded Fredrick that they most certainly weren’t alone today.

Midnight purred, accenting her most-inappropriate words with an even more inappropriate sound:

“D’awww… two hotties sucking face all cute like~. Mmmm, now that’s what mommy likes~.”

The two pulled away from each other, and Fredrick rolled his eyes while Stella giggled at the hilarious intrusion. The kiss-drunk face of his ensured that his smile never waned, and Fredrick was instead greeted by the lecherous eyes of Midnight’s emeralds in the dim light… clearly she enjoyed however long they put on their little makeout show.

They weren’t exactly unpleasant to stare into. Even more of a welcome surprise was Schnee’s words, which mirrored her own intense, heat-drunk gazing at the two of them:

“Hehe… maybe I can see what you mean now, Midnight~.”

He could only guess at what she meant by that. Especially so when Fredrick noticed how the two were pretty much in almost identical positions to he and Stella, though with their stark differences in height on full display. If anything, while they were distracted, they might’ve been engaged in similar activities with each other.

He could see through the veneer of their eyes though, and the accent over their words that might not have been so overt. Their continued, non-clandestine flirtatiousness with him and Stella over the course of the day had continued full-force.

Stella replied:

“Well if you cunts wanted a show… where the fuck’s our entry fee~? Unless you lot’re payin’ with ‘exposure’ if ye catch our drift~” Stella teased, but threw that flirtatiousness right back at ‘em.

Giggles all around. Though, Midnight was quick to point out that the two did have a proper, rather obvious motive for getting in a little closer:

“It is getting a little more crowded now…” she began, and Fredrick was not blind to how low her hand dipped on Schnee’s waist.

And at a certain point, he couldn’t even see her hand… though he proxied its location when Schnee’s eyes suddenly went wide, along with a requisite blush and devilish smirk forming on her face.

“...hope you don’t mind if we close ranks a bit? I’d much rather bump up against you two than strangers, for more than a few reasons~.”

“I’d be insulted if ya didn’t, fillies~,” Stella answered.

Fredrick shrugged, and plastered a joking smile on his face.

“Like I give a shit? You’re asking me if I want more pretty gals around me? This supposed to be a punishment or something?”

Midnight’s closeness in proximity in conjunction with her looming size allowed her to leer down at him… and that lidded gaze of hers let him know that he had chosen the wrong (or how one looked at it, the right) words to respond with.

“Not at all… but who am I to not accommodate if you really do want to be punished~,” she alluded.

And that thirty-or-so degree bend at the waist she did gave him more than enough of an ample view. Fredrick gulped. His erection—already shedding its grogginess from its slumber thanks to his wife’s sensual dancing and touching—was beginning to stir aggressively again. Schnee’s cute giggling at Midnight’s antics on top of her generally flushed, outwardly horny complexion was in no way helping matters, either.

Going out with a bunch of mares either in heat or soon-to-be-in-heat was a mistake. But it was one hell of a beautiful mistake.

Stella interceded with a purr… but in a quick glance at his mare, Fredrick was not oblivious to how Stella was tightly squishing her thighs together.

“Now that’d be a hell of a sight~. But I really enjoy this song, so lemme finish dancin’ with me husband before we all go fuckin’ hard together, aye?” she said.

“Hehe, you got it, lovebirds~.”

And Fredrick stumbled slightly when Stella moved him a couple paces away and back into an intimate dancing position. The shock of getting moved so instantaneously wore off when he found himself in his love’s arms again, but it became quickly apparent that Stella had something else in mind with their temporary splitting off.

That same sparkle in her eye had returned.

“It’s on the tip of your tongue,” Fredrick said, smirking knowingly. “Spill it. Immediately.”

Making sure that none of their friends were snooping, Stella brought him in as close as possible so she could speak directly into his ear.

“I have… an idea.”

Fredrick huffed, chuckling.

“Well that much was apparent.”

“And in gettin’ right tae the point… you know I love ya tae death. As do our friends: Midds and Schnee both adore you and think the world of ye. As I’m sure even your dense ass could see, this view of you—and me, really—has… warped a bit, ya know with one bitch bein’ close tae heat like me, and another bitch bein’ in heat.”

Fredrick may have been retarded, but he wasn’t stupid per se. Just based on that, he had a general idea of what Stella was thinking of, but was in no way gonna assume nor interrupt. His curiosity was really getting the better of him right now.

“Pshhh. As if Midnight wouldn’t jump any of us if given the opportunity?” he teased.

“As you say, ‘she’s memeing.’ Well… mostly,” Stella chuckled. “But she wasn’t lyin’ when she said that she’s a lot easier tae fuck right now. If given the slightest indication of it bein’ okay, she’d absolutely, positively carry us both off tae the hotel together. I’m not fuckin’ jokin’, love.”

The thought of being slung over her shoulder cave-man style was humorous. Though, Fredrick had been carried a few times by Stella bridal style. He could see why a lot of women and mares loved it—it was pretty great.

“Hah! Something tells me we wouldn’t survive the encounter. But what about lil’ Schnee there?” he dared to ask jokingly.

“I… legitimately don’t know,” said Stella with a somewhat primal fear in her eyes.

“And that fuckin’ scares the piss outta me. Remember, she’s in the depths of her cycle right now. And lemme fuckin’ tell ya in case you didn’t notice—she’s been eye-fuckin’ you the entire day when she wasn’t eye-fuckin’ Midnight.

“I mean… I was too, but I’m always eye-fuckin’ you, so… that doesn’t count,” she giggled.

He shared in that giggle, and pecked her lips for good measure. Fredrick then had a sudden thought of turning around and a dementedly horny, smol war vet pony was ready to just spring upon him. He wasn’t sure if that was funny, sexy, or terrifying… though likely some combination of the three.

“Likewise~,” he replied, but now, Fredrick thought he had enough information to make a more ‘informed’ opinion on where Stella was leading.

He tossed out, expecting Stella to confirm:

“But okay. In tying this back to your idea… what… like, are you suggesting a fuckin’ foursome or…?”

And in a surprise, Stella not only subverted another bit of his expectations, but simultaneously met them spectacularly when she turned that shit around on him.

“So that’s all it took tae get you tae jump tae that? Horny bastard~.” Fredrick was about to laughingly protest that, but Stella cut him off before he could:

“But nae… the thought occurred tae me. But you’d die tonight if that were the case.”

Fredrick nearly lost his shit at that.

“Excuuuuuse me?”

“Think about it, cunt! You’ve got one mare in heat, two on the verge…do ya think anypony here would have the biological ability tae not try and get a piece of the one throbbing dick that can’t get them pregnant when they absolutely can from any other one?

“They’re aware of this, love. Yer worth more than all the fuckin’ bits in Their Highnesses treasury right now, several times over~.”

Fredrick pursed his lips and angled his head slightly in thought. He actually hadn’t thought about it like that… and he lent it more brain power. While the idea of having his stunning wife and unquestionably gorgeous friends clamor over him for a night was, like, every man’s fantasy… he had to admit it—he didn’t exactly know if he’d be waking up in a bed or a hospital when it was all said and done.

He shrugged, smirking back at her.

“Fair point. Then pray tell, what’s this ‘idea’ of yours~?” he asked, wanting to get it out of her once and for all.

“I want tae preface that me idea is only valid if we’re both okay with it. And we can revoke consent at any time no questions asked.”

“Of course!”

“Hehe~. So, I’m not sayin’ anythin’ is guaranteed. But what I am sayin’ is that, fer tonight only, we just see where things go, and let ‘em uhhh… progress as we see fit, aye?”

“You know good and well that with everyone’s condition, ‘not guaranteed’ doesn’t mean anything right now~,” Fredrick countered.

“Aye, true… but gives us some more moral high ground again, right? Make the joke again and I’ll punch ye in the cock~.”

Fredrick nodded, never breaking eye-contact with his mare as he let his thoughts stew on the premise. There was still a question or two he needed to get off his mind though.

“Heh, wasn’t gonna. And suppose things heat up quickly. Any preferences on how you’d like this to go?”

“Not really, but fer yer own sake? I’ll handle Midnight. You get a little dancin’ time with Schnee and see where that takes ye~. We can divide and conquer~.”

Fredrick didn’t believe what he was hearing… though really only one particular part of that:

“Look me in the eye right now and tell me that you can handle a sex-crazed Midnight. With your mouth-hole, to my eye-sockets, tell me exactly that,” he teased.

Stella nearly bubbled over in proper laughter, but managed to retain her composure.

“Oh aye, fair. So then.., mostly, I’d say~?” she giggled.

“Oh god, have you got your affairs in order? You really gonna leave me as a widower this early on in our marriage? If you die, can I have your officer’s sword?”

Stella put her fist into his shoulder again with a soft cackle, which was contagious to Fredrick, who went to tickle her still-bare midriff in retaliation. That in turn earned a shrill squeal from her, though as quickly as their spurt of playfulness came, it fell away when lustful eyes snapped back to one another.

Stella batted her eyelashes.

“As if I’d ever leave you, darling~. Yer stuck with me anyway,” she cooed. “In the end though, fer a bunch of heat-stricken or to-be-fuck-drunk mares—who’re our friends—we’d be doin’ everypony a solid here, aye? And we, and especially you, get a little somethin’ out of it fer the effort.”

She blinked one more time and smirked up at him.

“Whaddya think, love?” she asked.

Fredrick delivered a knowing-lopsided smirk right back, all the while he favorably weighed the proposal when he then averted his gaze. Over the years since he had been in Equestria, his… horizons had been broadened, especially when it came to stuff around sex and the very notion that Equestria was a little more open with hardcore canoodling.

And by having his horizons ‘broadened,’ he mostly meant having his horizons ‘completely goatse’d beyond all recognition.’

He loved every bit of it.

This proposal harkened back to the time where Stella encouraged him to do Sveta a solid. What he thought was a joke was, in fact, completely serious. Moreover, the mere idea of fucking your significant other’s sister, permission or not, had a very high chance in his mind of just having things disintegrate. He prepared for the worst in the back of his mind: their relationship simply imploding at some point in the future, but willing to trust Stella with his life by this point..

And yet, that didn’t happen. Better yet, the whole act ingratiated himself with both Sveta and Stella to such a degree that their relationship had strengthened to a nigh-unbreakable level. Stella had never once led him astray, and anything that he, in the end, had never been fully able to reconcile, she never pushed him on it.

She was the best friend, marefriend, and now-wife he could’ve ever asked for.

And if he was being honest with himself in bringing his thoughts back to this proposal, it was a lot more ‘normal’ to consensually fool around with mutual best friends together—in his mind—than your wife’s sister.

Funny how that all worked out.

He snapped back to her gaze, and with a bright, confident smile, he nodded once.

“Fuck it! Let’s have a bunch of fun tonight~,” he declared.

Stella giggled, and he could practically reach into those golden eyes of hers and touch the excitement that sparkled across their surface. It was made all the better when she leaned in to nuzzle the tip of her muzzle with his nose, eyes closed, smile wide.

Fredrick had to reign his heart in, lest he get another coronary from how unfathomably cute and based Stella was at this moment. Schnee may have been the one that was able to induce heart attacks from those around her at will, but Stella could give her a run for her money when she put her mind to it.

Eventually, it was just too much for him, and Fredrick lay a hand on the back of Stella’s neck to nudge her forward into a proper kiss… one that went far beyond one of their usual pecks. An intimate kiss that, when their lips so-precisely melded with one another, became a manifestation of the aforementioned, unbreakable bond in-act.

It was already hot and stuffy on the dance floor for obvious reasons… but he didn’t think he could get hotter on such an ethereal level.

They separated after a few extra seconds, Fredrick let his eyes flutter open, as did Stella.

“I love you, Fredrick…~”

“I love you too, Stella…”

She bit her lip.

“Just as a reminder… any one of us can tell the others tae fuck off at any time fer any reason. But if that doesn’t happen…”

Stella spoke directly into his ear, and he could hear her lip-bite accenting her words:

“Schnee’s… had a rough last few years. More than the last few years, really. Show ‘er a good time tonight, fer me love… aye~?”

Fredrick kissed the top of her ear tuft in return.

“You got it, sweets~.”

The two separated a bit when they both heard the opening chords of the next song that was already getting the crowd around them grooving. They shared a sideways, knowing look at one another when they both lay eyes on Schnee and Midnight dancing with their chests squished up nice and tightly against one another.

Not that there was much hope on that front considering their height difference, but it was hot, nonetheless.

After all that implicit and explicit reassurance at the strength of their union, on top of knowing full well that whatever happened tonight would somehow strengthen not just his and Stella’s relationship, but those with his friends… his wife made the first move.

That is, she abruptly intruded on their intimate dancing sesh, inserting her face between the two of them, and likely breaking any lip action that was forthcoming. In return though, she lay both her arms around their shoulders and whispered something to the two of them.

Fredrick smirked. He didn’t know what such words were as he closed ranks with the group, but he had a pretty good idea of the content, as both Midnight’s and Schnee’s eyes went wide briefly…

…and then narrowed lewdly. One stark difference was that Schnee’s porcelain-white face blushed profusely yet again.

He, however, noticed a distinct lack of reservation on her face. And what put him on notice in the best ways was when her eyes locked with his briefly. It seemed that Stella had told her what was planned… and she was more than okay with it.

Moreover, she was looking forward to it.

Fredrick watched as Stella pulled back from their joint, private conversation when he fell in line with her, and addressed Midnight loud enough for the group to hear:

“Oi, I fuckin’ love this song… how ‘bout a dance, ya fuckin’ tall, dark, and handsy cocksleeve, ye~?”

Midnight giggled, but the shakiness of her lip despite her clearly, forward-looking arousal gave away how hard she was trying not to laugh at the silliness of what was about to go down. Nevertheless, she leaned into Stella’s ‘proposition,’ figuratively and literally: she cradled her arms under her chest and pushed up her sweater-puppies for everyone’s viewing pleasure.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for one of you to ask~,” she said.

And with that, Stella stealthily grabbed Fredrick’s ass as she left his side, took Midnight by the hand, and whisked her a whole few feet away. Mere picoseconds later, the two already had their hands on each other. Being the horny bastard that he was, Fredrick couldn’t help but admire for a few seconds at two of the hottest mares he knew getting much too close for public propriety.

And that left just him with another one of the hottest—and dare he say, cutest—mares he had the utmost pleasure of knowing: Schnee.

She seemed to be on the same wavelength as him, as when he finally spared a glance at her, she was still ‘taking in the sights,’ as it were, with Midnight and Stella. But around the same time he turned to her fully, Schnee pivoted back to him. Her lavender eyes sparkled differently in the ever-changing light of the dance floor, and where once he had found familiar, friendly embrace in her pools, he found something else as well:

Directed arousal. Pure, ultra-refined, high-octane, sixty-nine carat, directed arousal.

That, and her cheeks were absolutely burning up to the point where Fredrick thought she was gonna turn her entire coat blood-red. The three-fourths veiling of her left eye by her flowing, jet-black mane further added to her already innate, lustful allure, and Fredrick wasn’t sure he could tolerate much more of this adorableness.

Seriously, it was probably a crime against the state to be this cute.

To be fair though, his face was hotter than Satan’s molten piss, too. It would be a wonder if he managed this without a shred of awkwardness in territory he was making his first foray into.

But no way in hell he was gonna half-ass it. Tonight was supposed to be fun, so he went for it…

…and greased around the edges with some beer, the words came forth naturally:

“Hey, beautiful~,” he flirted right off the bat.

Schnee blinked hard and recoiled slightly, though her smile seemed to widen in pleasant surprise. Her eyelids returned to much more horny positioning as she returned his initial salvo of flirtation with her own:

“Hey, handsome~.”

“Wanna dance?”

Schnee loosed a drawn-out giggle into her ceramic hand.

“Ja… please~.”

With that, Fredrick offered her his hand, which she took pretty much immediately, and the two were well-on their way.

And as the two started off slow, connected—if initially awkwardly—at the hand, Fredrick inevitably drew comparisons to dancing with Stella. His best friend and wife was one thing, of course… after all, she was only a teeny bit shorter than him, and happened to have both the raw skill and charisma to lead him in their fun for years.

Schnee had her own, differing experience as was evident just by watching her not only with Midnight in the past, but as she moved so smoothly in front of him. Like the hypnotic, flowing water of a meandering, majestic river, Schnee captivated his eyes as her sundress fluttered and accented her motions gorgeously. The sight was further helped by how much shorter she was than Stella.

But even more gorgeous than her svelte body being hugged in all the right places by her dress was that face of hers—and therein, her eyes. They stared right into his, and even the dense man that he was could see how much she was undressing him and practically molesting him with her gaze.

And, well… he was pretty much doing the same. Schnee’s blush and wide, coy smile told him all he needed to know. He wasn’t even sure how many songs passed by at this point—few words had been shared between the two of them, and Fredrick was content to let their faces do all the ‘talking’ between them.

Though after they checked on Stella and Midnight—and finding both of Middy’s hands slipped into Stella’s shorts and gripping her asscheeks underneath—Schnee took the step of getting in nice and close, then wrapping her arms around his neck and placing her front nice and flush against him.

The sexiest part of it was that she never once broke eye-contact with him, and her gaze lidded further and further… though she surprised him by going one extra step:

She forewent extended face-to-face time, and instead turned around in his hold, planting her ass right into his crotch.

Fredrick then let her manipulate his hands around her with her own, making sure he held her just the way she liked… which happened to be wrapping around her taut tummy. The thin material of the sundress pressed smoothly against her skin, and he could feel her heart beating rapidly, subtly, through the top end of her core muscles. Both her hands kept him right where he was, and even by then, the coolness of her ceramic, prosthetic hand had worn off by this point, leaving it just as warm as the rest of her gorgeous little body, save for its innate smoothness relative to her velvety skin and coat.

He was burning up as well. And he gazed over his shoulder briefly when he felt some movement just under his butt: Schnee’s tail had wrapped around his leg, leaving him with no doubt in his mind that she wanted him right here.

Fredrick was absolutely diamonds by this point, and the bulge in his pants found itself wedged neatly in the cleave of her butt with both sets of clothes separating them. She didn’t say anything, but made her acknowledgement of his ‘predicament’ known with the continued undulations of her hips against him to the beat of the song.

He did his best to sway with her of course, but his options were quite limited, not that he, nor she, seemed to mind.

Schnee finally broke the wordless silence when she angled her face back up towards his:

“Stella has taught you well~.”

Fredrick leaned in to whisper into her ear:

“Indeed she has. She’s taught me a lot~,” he alluded.

Schnee giggled, and then cutely wiggled her butt against him a bit more. He was throbbing and twitching by this point, and the anticipation of where this was all leading topped it all off.

Another glance towards Midnight and Stella, and they found the latter in pure bliss as Middy has her face buried in Stella’s neck. He couldn’t see entirely what she was doing to her, but he had a couple good ideas. Her eyes were still open though, and Stella was able to see him glancing her way.

She bit her lip and smiled right back at him, then winked knowingly. Their small, non-verbal conversation was finished when she blew him a kiss. She was having a blast, and she hoped that he was too.

Oh, he was. He definitely was.

He winked right back at her, and shot her a finger-gun before turning his attention back to the smol mare in his arms… who had garnered said attention as she was being all cutesy in nuzzling the side of her face into his chest. Fredrick could practically feel how his face was tearing his smile wider and wider at the feeling and the sight.

Schnee’s hands continued to guide his own over her body while they danced… though ‘dancing’ was likely a rather loose interpretation of what they were doing right now. He bit his lip as she moved his hands down lower on her stomach, and with how close their faces were, he could hear how heavily she was breathing… Fredrick figured she must’ve been in hell in all the best ways right now.

His musings were completely wiped away when Schnee suddenly brought his hands right up to her chest, and had him grip her girls nice and firmly. Eyes widening for a moment in shock at just how brazen she was being, Fredrick’s thoughts went immediately to how much… larger they felt than they looked. Still smaller than Stella’s, though.

And yet, a surprise for sure. But a welcome one!

He wasn’t sure how that worked, but he sure as shit wasn’t complaining… and in coordination with her silent exhortations, started pressing his fingers into the bare tops of her boobs through her dress—and as much as he could through her bra—and started actually massaging her.

Schnee quivered in his hold as he managed to hear the gentle moans fall from her mouth over the music. She’d melted completely, and Fredrick was rewarded for his efforts when she pointedly pressed and gyrated her ass right into his erection… where there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that she could feel it right now.

After a few more seconds of this, she elegantly pushed off him, twirled on her hooves, and excitedly pressed her front back to his. Now face-to-face in a much more intimate embrace than Fredrick ever could’ve thought, he was again reminded of his raging erection… which was now dutifully wedged between his and Schnee’s stomachs.

She bit her lip up at him, the tips of their respective nose and muzzle much too close to be proper.

“Someone is enjoying themselves~,” she alluded.

And he bit his lip right back.

“Kinda impossible not to with a mare like you~,” he flirted.

Her confident gaze suddenly faltered when her cheeks went blood-red again, and she broke away from their impromptu staring contest with another swarm of adorably hot giggles. To her credit though, she brought her face right back to his once she vented out her little buildup of shyness.

“Mmm~,” she hummed. “Now I’m starting to understand exactly why Stella was with you… and then married you~.”

Fredrick chuckled as they were barely swaying with each other at this point.

“There’s… a few reasons here and there, I’d like to think,” he said.

In another pleasant surprise, Schnee got even closer, by way of raising herself onto the tips of her hooves. She angled her beautiful muzzle past his face and towards his ear, and the feeling of her hot breath on said ear sent arousal straight to his core:

“I’d like to know what those reasons are~,” she declared with a playful chuckle.

And when she pulled back, Fredrick’s eyes went wide when he felt the sudden soft, subtle wetness of her lips pecking his cheek. As his lecherous smile only carved a deeper groove on his face, he was taken back to when she did the exact same thing during Stella’s birthday well-before they were married.

That was of simple gratitude. Thanking him for paying for dinner.

This? Much different. And in the context of tonight, in all the best ways.

In a move that seemed to surprise Schnee right back, Fredrick leaned in and pecked her on the opposite cheek, which elicited a soft, pleasantly-startled squeak out of her. Faces still nice and close, the two relished in their little impish display with some slightly awkward giggles…

…though this died out completely when they both lay eyes on Midnight and Stella: they were properly making out in each other’s arms. And it looked like the former was drilling for oil with how far her tongue was pushing into Stella’s mouth.

Fredrick’s core heated up, and in monitoring his internal response, he felt nothing negative brewing in his stomach. In fact, his cramped dick in his pants began throbbing painfully at the sight, demanding to be released from its prison. Especially so when Midnight was getting a little more expeditious with her hands over Stella’s body.

His mouth had zero issues articulating what his arousal-laden brain was having some issues processing:

“Christ that’s so goddamn hot… the girls too, of course,” he said, still finding a way to sneak in a little joke.

Schnee seemed to be on the exact same page as him:

“Mmmmph~...” she practically moaned. “Ja…~.”

They glanced back at each other at the exact same moment, and seemingly fueled by what they were already seeing, there was barely a second of thought given when they both pressed forward. All pretenses were unceremoniously dropped.

They locked lips properly.

Her hold tightened around his neck, and his around her waist, the moment their lips made first contact. What seemed like a small lifetime and holding his breath, the two separated in reality after only a couple seconds… if only just. He could still feel her breath, accented by the one fruity drink that she had with dinner, breaking heavily on his face like galeforce winds on Equestria’s shores.

The pause was to assess the effect, while their holds on one another never broke. What did break was any and all inhibitions that remained: Schnee gripped the back of Fredrick’s head—a handful of his hair in the process—and smashed her lips back against his.

He offered no resistance, and in fact, welcomed her fully when he felt Schnee’s tongue try to battering-ram its way past his lips. The mere moment he let her in, their tongues were engaged in one hell of a desperate struggle… though really, Fredrick would describe it more as ‘desperate’ from Schnee’s end, rather than a struggle. The way she fused her lips to his and moaned consistently, pleadingly into his mouth as their tongues acquainted for the first time…?

Christ, Fredrick figured his pants were already ruined at this point just by pre alone.

What was left of the pair’s ‘dancing’ had withered away fully amongst the crowd, as the two were instead focused on just tasting each other. She tasted… almost floral to him, but not in a bad way at all. Quite the pleasant, sweetness to her lips and her tongue that was markedly different to Stella’s. And by how Schnee was trying her hardest to pretty much merge herself into him—to the point of not-so-subtly grinding herself into his waist—she was enjoying his taste as well…

Him feeling her pretty much trying to core out his tongue and mouth with her own wet muscle was also a good indication, too.

Furthermore, and perhaps the most important fact that shined through the thick, coastal, morning fog of lust looming over his corporeal function, Fredrick noted that this kiss—kissing Schnee—was just so… carnal. Needy, as opposed to the underlying messages of love and devotion that he would get, and return, with Stella.

Not even a microscopic hint of romantic intent could be felt from Schnee’s actions. It was much like making out with Sveta way back when—that deeper level of nuanced attraction was duly absent.

As he expected, and as it should have been.

Like a weight off his shoulders evaporating like sweat in the hottest desert, Fredrick let go of any of his residual fears, and really leaned into the makeout… which earned more-than a pleasant moan from the depths of Schnee’s throat and into his mouth, and which caused her to lean back a little more to let him loom over her properly.

Upon separating for air for a moment, Fredrick smiled knowingly against her lips—fully aware of how much she was becoming pure putty in his hold—and tightened his hold on the small of her back. Schnee responded in kind with a lusty giggle, and ran her right hand up his back, over his shoulder, and back down to his chest, which had come to rest on his pec proper.

And Fredrick in turn then nipped at Schnee’s lower lip while letting his hand slide tentatively lower than her waistline… and then properly wung it when he slid entirely down to her left asscheek.

He gripped her nice and firmly, feeling much more muscle than he had expected, but after a few seconds of processing, it made sense to him, based on her past profession. Fredrick could nevertheless still feel the curviness and innate jiggle that her butt still possessed… and he absolutely had to resist the urge to give Schnee a nice little swat.

Her reaction was immediate, and after a drawn out moan that fused with another giggle, Schnee nuzzled his nose cutely while she rode that same leg up his own, letting her knee come to rest against his hip-bone.

Blushed beyond all recognition—much like he was—Schnee leaned into his ear:

“Hmmm~... adventurous now, aren’t we~?”

“What can I say? Heh, it’s fun exploring gorgeous mares~.”

She nuzzled the tip of his earlobe, earning a light shudder from the human:

“You keep flattering and buttering me up… as if I’m not a for-sure thing right now~,” she alluded.

He chuckled and replied, still maintaining his heavy breathing:

“Flattery’s easy when it’s the truth. Blind ponies could see how… unbelievably gorgeous, cute, and hot you are~,” he said.

Even over the music, he could hear the subtlest squees coming from her mouth. She then added a bit more huskily in his ear… though much more softly than a whisper:

“I… I want…” she stopped for a moment, seemingly trying to figure out how she wanted to articulate what she wished to say.

But before Fredrick could even cock an eyebrow, she was practically kissing his ear when she leaned in closer, and he was all-too happy to support her with his hands:

“I want a taste of it tonight… what Stella gets to taste whenever she likes~.”

“What was that, cutie?”

“I said that… you smell really nice tonight~,” she ‘repeated’ herself, then promptly buried her muzzle in the crook of Fredrick’s neck.

He was kinda embarrassed how much his eyes shuttered on their own when he felt her lips—and tongue—upon him there. But, his shit-eating smirk never waned: he knew she was fibbing. He heard exactly what she said, but he just wanted to hear it a second time.

He was gonna need to find a way to communicate to scientists back on his home planet, in his home dimension, that he once again re-discovered a hardness greater than ‘10’ on the Mohs Scale.

Midnight’s familiar voice materialized right next to them, startling the both of them out of their moment:

“Fredrick!” she called out, sounding fake-shocked, and the pair jerked their heads to find her and Stella leaning comfortably against one another…

…and horny beyond goddamn belief. It was easy to see that they had been enjoying the little show he and Schnee had been putting on, likewise.

“You be careful, Mister… you better not steal my Flower away from me~,” she ‘warned,’ which earned jovial chuckling from Stella.

Fredrick shot right back:

“Yeah? Then in that case, I’d like to remind you of the same! Don’t you dare steal my girl~,” he teased.

Before the bantering could continue, Schnee unexpectedly untangled herself from Fredrick’s hold and began rapidly smoothing her dress and her mane out.

“I uhhh… hehe. I think we need to leave back to my house. Schnell. Sofort.”

Fredrick has a pretty good idea why, since that lust-clouded gaze hadn’t disappeared from the depths of her purple eyes in the slightest. Stella was first to beat the group to the jokes, however:

“Oh aye~? Gettin’ a little claustrophobic? Can’t ‘bloom yer petals’ here, lass~?” she quipped.

Schnee did not even mince words:

“Nein! But I’d rather leave while I can still stop myself from taking my clothes off…”

“PFFFT!” Fredrick nearly choked on his spit.

Midnight’s eyes went wide and Stella likewise lost her shit for the umpteenth time tonight. But either way, the consensus from everyone was clear:

No need to tell anyone twice.

“Well then…” Midnight added after clearing her throat. “How about we get out of here~?”

Schnee was already walking, and had grabbed both Midnight and Stella by the shirts as she was dragging them towards the exit. Fredrick did well to keep pace with them, but all the while, Stella fished something out of her pocket whilst laughing at the absurdity unfolding between them all:

“Oi love? Here…” she said, and dropped two potion vials—sealed by a simple cork—into his open palm: one bright pink in color, and the other with the slightest hint of sky-blue. At first inspection, Fredrick felt that they had the consistency of pulpy juice.

He blinked hard.

“Oh… OH! Are these the ones?” he asked.

Stella nodded as they passed the threshold into the much cooler night-air, chilling their steaming-hot bodies and sending a refreshing breeze through their manes and hair.

“Aye… and I fuckin’ recommend ya take ‘em, like, right fuckin’ now.”

The actual urgency in her words nearly sent him into another laughing fit.

“Oh fucking shit, really?”

“Don’t be a hero, lad. Trust me.”

“I’ve never needed one of these with you…”

“Yet~,” she corrected. “But, I can probably sense this isn’t gonna end with just Schnee, love, assumin’ Schnee even behaves like me when under the fuckin’ heat yoke,” she noted.

His eyes shrunk at the realization.

“Fuck, you’re right… I’ll need all the help I can get with you three mares.”

Stella shook her head, then with a soft, yet unbelievably horny smile, patted him on the chest.

“Don’t ya worry yer funny lookin’ head about me tonight, love. Remember, I get ya aaaaall tae m’self when we get back home and me heat does hit…

“...not tae mention, fer the rest of me life~,” she concluded before she licked his cheek again.

He went in for a proper tongue-kiss, though.

“As it should be. God I love you so fucking much, babe.”

“And I love ya more than ya know, ya pale knobhead, ye. And again, it may not seem like it at all… but yer doin’ everypony here a fuckhuge favor.

“Trust me~.”

“Hehe, I always do, Stella!”

Author's Note

Splitting this up because I was not having a good time taking this long to publish something while I was continuing to write the next scene. What's coming next:

Bonus 2.1. [Clop] Carnality

Author's Note

It's finally done, and this ends all bonus arcs. No more updates to this story are planned. there's probably some mistakes to this chapter, but after holding onto it for this long, I'm sure it's fine for what it is, though I did my best to smooth out the rough edges as much as I usually do.

I'd also like to mention that this chapter is a very belated birthday gift for one of my closest, most special friends. She's been nothing but a gem, a gigantic inspiration, on top of having the patience of a saint and a heart of gold. You know exactly who you are, and I only regret not having this ready back in January. I can already anticipate your response to this, so I'm gonna pre-empt you with "something something... easy and the truth..." :raritywink:. Thanks for all your awesomeness these past few years, and especially your friendship... and I hope this was worth the wait!

Now for the rest of you, likewise, thanks for y'alls' patience, and I certainly hope the long-ass time from part one was ultimately worth it. Enjoy!

Bonus 2.1. [Clop] Carnality

[Schnee’s Street]

The three teens strolled lazily along the moonlit road towards a familiar destination… one that held so many memories and was, in general, just quite special to them in each of their own ways.

“Ya know…” Apple Bloom said. “Ah think it might be a liiiiittle late to go hang out with Schnee,” she reasoned.

Scootaloo disagreed.

“I mean… not really. It’s the weekend, and we’ve dropped in on her later than this, before. Besides, it’s been a few days since we last saw her when we went on that class… vacation… thing or whatever.”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle affirmed, and bounced jauntily in her step whilst holding some tupperware. “And I thiiiiink we can convince her with a freshly baked batch of Apple Family Recipe cookies~,” she giggled, and shook the container lightly to accent her words.

“You know she loves these!”

Scootaloo giggled in kind.

“She’d probably go back to war for them if we’re being honest. We saw how she scarfs them down!”

Apple Bloom playfully slugged her friend in the shoulder for that comment, even if it earned some rather shameful chuckling all around.

“Oh shut up, you!”

Sweetie Belle shrugged.

“Hehe, I mean… it’s kinda—”

Her words, her steps, and consequently everypony else’s canter was suddenly halted within view of Schnee’s house when four figures were brightly illuminated by the street light just in front. All three of them found an easily recognizable Schnee energetically leading some other male-looking being by the hand… while Stella (whom they recognized) was cradled in Midnight’s (whom they also recognized) embrace. The former was attempting to viciously get her door open.

And all were sucking each other’s faces off aggressively. All could see clear as Luna’s night that their Flower Mare friend was all-the-while vehemently grinding her hips against the unknown pony’s.

They watched—jaws collectively dislocated from their faces and shattered on the cobblestone beneath them—the uncharacteristically lewd display, frozen in time as Schnee continued to giggle maniacally… until her door was finally unlocked, and unceremoniously booted inward. The party of four then slunk inside, and the door was shut and locked behind them, leaving the pure and utter silence of the night to return as the only company to the girls on the empty street.

Nopony said a damn thing for several seconds as they attempted to process what the hell they just saw.

Nevertheless, Sweetie Belle was the first one to clear her throat and state the obvious:

“Uhhh…” she began. “I ummm… I don’t think tonight’s gonna be a good night to see Schnee, girls.”

The agreement was unanimous.

“Yup… I think yer right, Sweets.”

“Uhhh… yeah, agreed. Wanna go hang out at my place tonight?”

“I think that’s… that’s a much better idea.”

[Schnee’s House]

The pleasant chill of the night air was most welcome… and perhaps necessary after dealing with the stuffiness and general humidity that a cramped dance floor usually had on offer. It was probably the best way to cool off one’s skin, maybe level one’s head, and dry any dampness on one’s brow that might have accumulated through a food and alcohol-fueled dancing spree.

But it was in no way sufficient to quell the lustful infernos in everyone’s chests and cores as they desperately made their way back to Schnee’s house… with the mare in question leading the party of fired-up, horny best friends. Though… leading was a bit of a stretch, considering after Fredrick and Stella had their talk and planned things out while being quite literally dragged out of the establishment, Schnee quickly found her way back to where she needed to be:

Attached to Fredrick. By the lips. And literally humping at his leg when able… like the horny little ball of sexiness that she was.

In fact, by the time Schnee fumbled with her keys and managed to violently boot her door open, she had practically jumped onto Fredrick… and he was all-too happy to hold and support the smol, mare from underneath her legs and butt while the other two made to get the lights on. Fredrick was sure light wouldn’t have mattered in the short term, considering his entire vision was mostly blackened out by a gorgeous face molesting his lips, which made him close his eyes and give into the pleasant blackness of the void, anyway.

After everything that went down through the entire day, there was zero need for any more pretense.

Even as she held her legs wrapped around his waist and was practically grinding herself against him all needily, Fredrick had to give her proper credit—she remained in complete control as to where they were going… and she managed to be the blind shepherd leading the blind sheep. Though, the blindness was also accompanied by horniness…

…and the whole analogy of the sheep and shepherd being horny was not exactly the image he was trying to paint in his internal processing of what was happening. But alas, there it was.

Nevertheless, once Fredrick carried them—both still connected at the mouth—to a point where she deemed appropriate, the heat-addled mare dislodged herself from him, and dropped back to her hooves… only for Fredrick to then be immediately thrown for a loop when he caught a faint glimpse of her lust-filled, sparkling face before being promptly shoved backward.

The sudden disorientation by getting unexpectedly pushed off his feet wore off as soon as it occurred when his entire body fell into the embrace of her armchair from earlier. The strength that this little mare possessed startled him for certain, especially with his sudden orientation change…

…but it quickly brought him to fuller mast as he saw this sundress-clad gal already prepping to straddle him.

And that look on her face… that face of pure arousal and indulgence… kept him right where he was. He greeted his partner for the night with literal open arms and his own arousal that he couldn’t possibly suppress.

“Get over here, cutie~,” he cooed.

Giggling, Schnee needed no further beckoning, nor really any at all for that matter, as she began clamoring atop his lap. Said giggles quickly morphed and faded into groans of unrestrained, unsatisfied need as the porcelain mare mounted his lap. Her knees on either side of his hips, Fredrick had expected her to dive in for another kiss, but was instead mildly surprised when she began breathing huskily against the underside of his chin.

She had wormed her muzzle into his neck and began planting cute, aggressive kisses on his skin, all culminating when he could feel her licking right where his neck connected with the back of his jaw.

He absolutely could not stifle the words that came out of his mouth, and that hitherto confident, pseudo-in-control façade had been shattered into a million pieces by such a simple, expert act:

“Oh my fuck… Schnee~,” he groaned.

All the while, he had caught faint glimpses of Midnight carrying his wife in a similar fashion that he had carried in Schnee… and he bit his lip when he saw the distinct shape of Stella’s legs wrapped around Midnight’s own waist while the two furiously made out in kind. Not even the act of Midnight plopping herself on the couch stopped the two from open-mouth spit-swapping.

A healthy amount of their combined drool dribbled onto Midnight’s chest, and made rivulet inroads into her pushed-up cleavage. Apparently that was all they needed to transition further along their sexy path, as Midnight’s hands quickly found their way to Stella’s shirt-covered tits, beginning to press her fingers into their fleshy tops and push them up further into her shirt’s neckline.

Even from here, he could see his wife’s cleavage was top-notch. He absolutely married into success.

“Heh…” Midnight began. “I’d be lying if I said I never wanted to get my hands on these~,” she teased.

Stella offered similar words, though prefaced that by taking her own liberties in getting her hands on Midnight’s more-than-ample bust.

“Fuck… these aren’t fuckin’ fair, lass…~. The game was rigged from the goddamn start~.” she groaned, likely both in lamenting Midds’ size compared to hers, and the larger pony’s expert hand-play.

Fredrick didn’t get to hear the rest of that exchange, as Schnee had apparently had enough of sucking, kissing, and slobbering all over his neck, and instead felt the need to reaffix her mouth to his again. He was more than happy to oblige her request, and the carnal moan she loosed when he pulled her lips into his by way of the back of her head sent even more blood down south.

He couldn’t help but moan either… even more so when Schnee pulled back just a smidge, but she dare not break their working lips from their current evening job. Fredrick began giggling and smiling against her lips all the same though when he could feel her dainty hands roaming over his chest. He puffed out his pecs as much as he could for her… not that he felt he had a massive amount to flex there, but Schnee seemed to appreciate it all the same.

If her horny giggling was anything to go by, at least.

Fredrick sure didn’t mind when he felt both her hands getting under his shirt though. He nipped approvingly at her lower lip when he felt the fringes of her ceramic fingers pulling the hem of his shirt up, and teasing at his stomach. All was well in his book, and the Flower Mare practically sped through the brightly-lit green light when she shoved both her arms under his shirt… and made straight for his pecs. The difference between skin and smooth ceramic was certainly striking, but in no way a detriment—their warmth had already permeated the material.

And she owned it.

Seemingly not content with just their current predicament, Schnee finally separated to let much needed air flow into both of their lungs.

While Fredrick was happy to breathe heavily, as one would expect—staring back into Schnee’s eyes mere inches from his—her own breathing was desperate… like a panting dog getting its first drink of water on a summer day.

Those abyssal, purple eyes of hers stared straight into his own, and he could see how wide her pupils were. Her resulting smile was… lascivious, and Fredrick let her eagerly roam his midsection to her liking. Such idle roaming and ‘taking him in’ were further punctuated by Schnee beginning to idly hump at his crotch, the somewhat jerky motions which felt amazingly against his caged length.

She needed relief so, so badly… and she was going to whatever ends she could to achieve that relief. Poor girl.

And who was he to keep her waiting?

Fredrick put his hands on her midsection properly for the first time since they got back to her home, and let them roam to his heart’s content. Much like she did on him, his palms and fingers cartographed her lean, slim body underneath, feeling the peaks and divots of all her muscles on her core. Oh how she quivered under even the tenderest touch, and the squeaky, needy moan that she let loose when Fredrick went a little too high towards her chest was like a drug.

And like a drug, Fredrick was sure he would get addicted.

As Fredrick’s hands ventured upward on her writhing, idly-humping midsection, more and more of her sexy core was exposed—porcelain coat, muscle definition, scars, and all. As a consequence, her gorgeous, yellow sundress had been pooling atop his forearms, though thankfully Schnee had tossed away her belt a little earlier as she was working him over. Just as he felt his hands reach the underside of her bra-clad tits, he had to extricate his gaze back up to her blissful-looking face.

They locked eyes again, both faces blushed, and Fredrick simply asked:

“May I?”

Schnee returned his look with equal parts arousal, and an extra part impish when she narrowed her eyes down at him.

“Your shirt for my dress?”

“A goddamn deal!”

Fredrick let his arms fall by his side again as Schnee took the liberty of the ‘ladies first’ approach, and began rolling his shirt up his midsection with childlike glee. He was more than accommodating, and pulled his arms inward as Schnee forded the task with only modest difficulty from their positions… not that he had a choice in helping her, as he was certain she’d actually rip it off if she encountered any small barriers at this point.

Their teamwork was a success, and Fredrick’s torso was finally free of its admittedly warm constraints. Schnee made short work of it when she tossed it haphazardly over her shoulder, never once breaking her lecherous gaze over his chest. As her hands began to roam again in kind, his own confidence swelled further—Stella had done well to assist him (read: drill him) with workouts that helped build the areas on him he wanted, namely his pecs.

Seeing others notice and appreciate the fruits of his labors was an extra cherry on top of the pride in himself. Lord knows once Stella noticed, they didn’t leave his room for about an entire day. That was the day that she fully understood how he felt about boobs in general.

Having glanced over at Stella and Midnight on the couch really getting into some proper grinding against one another, Fredrick’s dick was practically harder than a multi-metal alloy. As such, he was itching to get Schnee’s dress off, and was already beginning to run it up her body…

…but the sight of the Flower Mare’s glassy gaze over his torso, and then her subsequent kissing and licking of his chest with the cutest, horniest hums was much too adorable for him to cut off. He had exactly zero intention of intervening in her fun if she was gonna continue being this cute.

Nevertheless, she seemed to have her fill after painting a large swathe of her saliva in a curved arc between his pecs and up to neck. The feeling of her hot spittle suddenly cooling with the ambient temperature of the room sent a colossal shiver up Fredrick’s spine, one that visibly manifested with a harsh twitching that Schnee seemed to find adorable, herself.

She whispered huskily:

“Such a cute boy~.”

His dick twitched again at the words. She giggled mischievously all the same.

But with Fredrick’s hands squarely attached to her butt, blocking her gorgeous cutie marks from the world, Schnee understood the message and was more than willing to uphold her part of the deal she only just brokered. She gripped the bottoms of her dress and began helping Fredrick peel it up and over her, revealing more and more of her perfect, porcelain, marble-esque body to him.

His eagerness—in no small thanks to whatever her heat smell was doing to him, and much similar to the effects he felt when Stella literally put him under such a spell—was practically displayed on a flashy billboard in the middle of the capital city, and Schnee was all too happy to comment:

“Mmmm, ja Friedrich? So excited to get me out of my dress all day, hmmm~?”

Fredrick chuckled deeply. The Alemaneian-ification of his name rolled off her tongue so sultrily that he was probably gonna be Pavlov’d to get unfathomably hard whenever he heard it in the future. He was under no illusions that Stella would be weaponizing it for such use.

“Heh… once we all had a ‘talk,’ and you and I danced like that?” he asked in a way that needed no other answer than the implicit. He still did answer, though:

“I’d’ve stripped you down in the cold night air and felt you up against a tree, or some shit~.”

Schnee giggled sultrily again, and by that point, her dress was now, too, discarded uselessly over her shoulder to join the likes of his shirt. And that just left her clad in merely her yellow strapless bra and (increasingly darkening) panties. This being the first time he lay eyes on her chest outside of their erstwhile confines of a bathing suit top, Fredrick was all too happy to lay back in the chair, grip her powerful thighs with his hands, and just… gawk. Stare. Admire. Fantasize.

They were certainly bigger than she had often made them look, and with how they felt from earlier. There had to have been a purposeful naturalness with how well she hid them from the world… one that came with a plethora of experience, he figured.

No matter—Fredrick was content to take in the sights of her heaving, bigger-than-he-expected-but-still-not-as-large-as-Stella’s tits. All the while, Schnee dutifully kept her hands right on his chest diaphragm area, as well as kept up her adorable, morale-boosting ministrations that Fredrick in no way was intent on stopping.

Not like he could really stop what was to come, anyway, when Schnee cutely pressed her girls together between her biceps… and began shimmying her torso around all cutely. While she was certainly hopped up on a fair amount of liquid courage, Schnee’s residual shyness had broken through like the sunshine through her own thick, lust-filled fog.

She giggled, and drew her gaze away with rosy cheeks and the brightest smile yet, under Fredrick’s own lecherous gawking.

“I hope that’s the look of somepony who likes what they see~,” she cooed.

If a picture was worth a thousand words, Fredrick figured that action was worth an entire epic. Thus, with his fingers firmly pressed into her thighs, he suddenly ran his hands up the rest of her legs, cradled her waist and hip bones to admire for the briefest moments, and then braced her on his lap so he could properly bury his face right between her pushed up, supported breasts.

With his hands now on her lower back for that extra support, Fredrick relished in the sudden, pleasure-filled gasp from Schnee… gasps which promptly devolved into giggly, lewd moans at what had become rather expected forwardness towards the objects of his affections.

That’s when he felt a gentle hand firmly planted right on the back of his head, while Schnee’s unoccupied fingers traced lines over his scalp and through his increasingly-unkempt hair.

“Mmmmm~... Stella was right!” she excitedly cooed, another hearty, horny giggle falling from her lips.

“You really do love boobs~.”

Fredrick hummed at the rather astute observation, and in withdrawing his face from Schnee’s modest cleavage, he left his literal mark when he drew his tongue over the inner-top of her supported breasts. Such a move evoked no small blush from Schnee’s face, and the human was content to stare into her knowing eyes victoriously… though he was keen to allude just how much of an understatement that actually was.

“That’s definitely one way to put it,” he cooed, and hefted both her girls up higher onto her chest before tightening his grip on them, through her bra.

And at that point, Schnee emitted a high-pitched cross of a whimper and a whine—further accented by a horny snarl—as she could not stomach the intense teasing anymore, lest she spontaneously explode in more ways than one.

And with debatably sexy results, depending on how.

With some excellent sleight of hand on behalf of her prosthetic to demonstrate just how nimble it actually was, Schnee unclipped her bra strap with a single flick of her fingers. From there, the garment fell lifeless into her lap, and the Flower Mare was quick to toss it haphazardly aside—it would not be in any way needed for the foreseeable future.

And with that, her girls sagged slightly—only just—as they were revealed to the world in all their glory without their support. As porcelain-white as the rest of her coat, full, perky, and deliciously ashen gray nipples sat atop their crest… an adornment to tits that Schnee had indeed done an excellent job of hiding so goddamn well. That had been readily apparent when she had put her bikini on for their little modeling shitpost show earlier today… and likewise up to today, Fredrick had figured the Flower Mare had been among the least busty of all the friends he could count.

He would need to revise that draft pick lineup.

At that point, Schnee was ready to further coax him onward by cradling her girls between her arms, but that was in no way necessary, as Fredrick batted her arms aside and figuratively dove right in.

Eliciting yet another quivering, drawn-out, oh-so satisfied moan from the horny mare straddling him, Fredrick wasted no time in outright mauling her tits. Like a kid in a candy store where he was allowed free and open access with his mouth right then and there, Fredrick gladly squeezed both her orbs together and drew his tongue between them… and then tried his darndest to take both of her nipples into his mouth simultaneously.

Oh how he tried—but no matter how much he contorted his grip… no matter how rough nor how gentle he was, he could not achieve his set objective, and instead had to ‘settle’ for capturing merely one of her tiny, diamond-hard nubs in his maw at any one time.

So be it.

Fredrick greedily slurped, sucked, and took liberty in just how messy he could make them with his mouth alone, at least… drawing his tongue over every inch of her tit before ending right back up again at the apex of her nipple. All this, only to excitedly repeat the same process for her other neglected breast… neglect which massaging, squeezing, and pinching alone could not make up for such absence of true attention.

All the while, as much as Fredrick wanted to keep his eyes open and take in the sights of her perfect, gorgeous chest that he was lavishing presently, he simply found himself unable: her taste… her smell was too much for him, and he loosed his own quivering hum in kind.

With how his eyes were practically rolling into the back of his head from this alone, his eyelids had increasingly become heavier. Whatever her own personal heat was doing to him… he adored it, and suddenly couldn’t wait for Stella’s to hit again—he had forgotten just how much he had loved what her scent did to him.

There needed to exist a new level with which to measure just how pulsating, throbbingly hard he was right now. His pants were suddenly several sizes short, and the bulge—the denim tent—he was sporting was pressing up into Schnee’s own barely-covered nethers while he molested her chest. Even so, as she began to fully grind upon his trapped length with firm, precise intent, Fredrick knew Schnee was aware of his plight.

And he was able to get some leverage back through the pleasure that he was subjecting her to… breast treatment that made her entire body—nevermind merely her nethers or her increasingly babbling speech—melt completely.

She managed a giggle when she seemed to trap Fredrick’s length between their bodies just right… and elicited a rather desperate whine from the human this time around.

“Ahhh~...”

She still managed to oh-so innocently ask, even when half her left tit was in Fredrick’s mouth:

“Oh my… did I do that~?”

And that managed to feed so much more blood into his erection that he actually thought he might burst unintentionally if it wasn’t tended to. Thankfully, before Fredrick could extricate himself from the two objects of his affection to retort, Schnee followed up breathily with what might as well have been angelic, harmonic singing to his ears:

“How flattering to get a ‘salute’ to this very day~... but don’t you think you’ve kept a girl waiting long enough, Friedrich?” she asked.

Then, she added in such a way where Fredrick could hear the liquid lust drooling from her mouth and onto his lap:

“I need to see it. Please~?”

Fredrick’s eyes narrowed as he smiled—somehow, he was skeptical of just how much Schnee was actually asking as opposed to outright soothsaying the happenings of the very near future. Christ, it was like dealing with Stella when she was in heat… though arguably a bit worse considering the contrast of the more normalized mannerisms that he’d been used to from the Alemaneian mare.

Either way, he had little capacity to resist… if he ever in his right mind wanted to.

“Yeah?” he asked, giving her a knowing wink. “I don’t exactly see anyone stopping you, so…?”

And apparently, that was all she needed to hear.

In the wake of those words and Fredrick’s implicit permission to do whatever her lust-filled heart desired, Schnee—somewhat reluctantly—dismounted her prey for the moment. In extricating herself from his lap, however, Fredrick watched as the smol mare sexily crawled off him, and inserted herself between his legs.

On her knees, and helping to further part his legs to her liking, Schnee then set out on the arduous task of undoing his pants… though with one unexpected addition before she went any further:

She slid her black panties down, leaving her entirely bare to Fredrick and the world, and he only got a glimpse of her slit before natural positioning denied him a full look.

The insides of his lower lip were gonna be chapped, cratered with canker sores, and raw with the constant biting, but he was in little position to do anything about it if the lavender-eyed beauty was gonna keep being as hot as she was. Fredrick still to this moment had some issues reconciling fully with the fact that Schnee of all ponies was doing… all of this. And not only was she doing it, she was going about it with a vigor and temerity of a mare who knew both exactly what she wanted, and had plenty of experience in obtaining.

Just like a mare deep in the fires and throes of her heat.

And within those fires, Fredrick practically drooled as Schnee expertly undid his belt, the button clasp, and the zipper of his pants. He had no appropriate words for just how hot it all was as she began peeling his pants off of him. With a little help in lifting his lower torso for her to more easily slide and shimmy his needless garment off his body, said pants were duly removed and tossed aside in good order.

His boxers—tent proudly pitched and completely, shamelessly damp at the apex—were quick to follow.

And from there, his already drenched, leaking dick sprang free, acting as a now-obstructive spire between Fredrick’s and Schnee’s gazes. As for the latter, Fredrick had expected Schnee to marvel for more than a few seconds, as it would’ve been the first time that she had seen his member, let alone a human one. Hell, his cock was quite literally one of a kind, in this world.

Subverted again, Fredrick shuddered when Schnee pretty much instantly reached forward with both her hands and cradled his shaft in a dainty, comforting grasp. Her smaller hands, including her surprisingly warm, ceramic hand, began to idly massage and stroke his length with barely-contained vigor… and Fredrick had zero hope in containing the shaky, audible sigh that fell from his lips.

He barely had the coherence to not moan embarrassingly—he did not expect the sudden action on his hyper-sensitive, aching loins.

Schnee apparently loved what she both saw, and heard from the human. Eyes glazed over entirely, her gaze lidded prominently as her devious, lascivious smirk returned. Fredrick could practically read everything she wanted to do on the reflections of her lavender eyes.

She groaned desperately, and her words were accented as such:

“Mmmph~... scheiß it’s just… throbbing. So throbbing hard…~

“All for me. How delicious~.”

Fredrick watched as she leaned forward to nuzzle the head and side of his dick, and hummed in delight as his precum smeared all over her left cheek as a consequence. He hadn’t the time to even commit the memory of a couple strands of his shimmering essence keeping his length and her face connected when she eventually pulled away.

Because right after, the gorgeous mare let her eyes fall completely shut, and she finally drew the flat of her tongue up the head. She then followed that up by sealing her lips around his tip, and beginning to suckle gently.

“Oh my fuck…~” Fredrick groaned, and he let his head fall back against the chair.

He let his eyes close, just so he could have enough bandwidth to process what he was feeling.

His head was already spinning from just… everything that had hitherto happened this evening. It was just something else to feel Schnee practically cleaning off the tip of his dick of any and all precum that would accumulate. Every time she would work his shaft—and consequently, a little more pre out of him with her firm, yet gentle grip—her pony tongue was there to wipe it away clean. If her gentle, satisfied hums were any indication on top of the placid smirk at the edges of her occupied lips… she was already enjoying herself.

In particular, how he tasted.

And that was a relief. His diet the past few days hadn’t been the greatest. He only hoped that his eventual, true taste, if she so desired it, didn’t end up tasting like the byproduct of a nuclear disaster: An Elephant’s Foot of a Chernobyl nuclear disaster that churned inside his balls after an intake of too many hay burgers.

“Hmmmm~...” Schnee hummed again, seemingly more than content when she began to sink her mouth lower and lower on his shaft.

This elicited a gentle hiss from Fredrick, and the urge to run his fingers through her gorgeous mane to massage her scalp and her ears was a calling that was impossible to ignore. And by the time she had taken three-fourths of his length, he was practically gripping two handfuls of her mane like the perfect handholds they were as she began bobbing her head.

He could feel her putting all the effort into cradling his shaft with her tongue as she properly began sucking his cock. Her humming, moaning, and gentle slurping had become a staple of the room’s ambiance… along with whatever Midnight and Stella were getting up to. He couldn’t quite tell what that was, considering the abject heights of pleasure that Schnee was bringing him to already, but he knew for a fact that it was in no way chaste.

More than that, she was neither going fast, nor attempting to race to an inevitable end. She was enjoying it. Reveling in it.

And the very thought that Schnee herself was getting off on pleasuring him like this—combined with the very idea of the whole situation tonight—sent pure electricity through his nerves, intensifying just how amazing he felt from her pampering. And all that manifested into rather undignified moans, sighs, and hums of his own.

“Schnee…~” he groaned when she massaged the underside of his head with her tongue.

He could feel her smile around his dick at his reaction… and then came the need to close his eyes, lest he get past that point of no return a little too early for his liking. He wanted to hold out more for her… build more and more up for the gorgeous mare between his legs who was just oh so desperate for relief.

“Mmhmmm~...” came her riposte.

And if part of that relief came in the form of his cum, well… the ‘negotiations’ were underway. And he felt she deserved a lot more.

Either way, he intended to make her whole. With Stella, getting head from her was always sexy, sloppy, and downright delectable considering just how much of an oral fixation she seemingly had. He loved every bit of it—yet, it was a means to an end for sexier times to come thereafter.

But with Schnee, he hadn’t considered the thought that getting his dick sucked could be steaming hot and cute simultaneously. The warm, wetness of her mouth as she literally drooled over his dick and coated his entire shaft with her spittle was sublime. All the while, she continued to give off gentle, cute little hums, squeaks, and giggles of satisfaction—much like when she was getting kissed. Not to mention the audible, satisfying slurps as she continued to massage his length with her tongue, as well.

All of this was already shoving him dangerously close to the edge. He wanted this to last just a little bit longer, so he was quick to caution her a bit as her tongue ran circles around the top half of his shaft:

“Wh-whoa, Schnee… baby take it easy, girl… not just yet…” he barely managed to get out whilst he ran his fingers encouragingly through her mane.

To her credit, she did ease up a bit, in the form of sealing her hold over his shaft, and agonizingly slowly sliding her mouth back up to his tip. Fredrick figured she was about to release her prey, and pop off his cock for some other action, or to just give him a moment’s rest… especially with her purple eyes opening up and gazing up into his own. That blush would probably stain her white cheeks red with how long she kept up the flustered, desperate, horny visage.

Yet in Fredrick’s hubris of feeling secure in holding back his first, inevitable ejaculation for just a little while longer, Schnee’s eyes glimmered, then narrowed in barely contained, impish glee. And she could not hold back what would’ve been a beaming smile save for the pulsating dick in her mouth.

The human was right to suddenly feel his stomach drop—Schneeblume gave him but a single wink as a warning before her mouth, like the Secret Police of an Eastern Bloc nation, disappeared his dick entirely without a trace of it left.

Fredrick’s entire body jolted at the unexpected sensation of impaling the back of her throat. It felt like a small eternity, as he gave what little attempt he could to hold on for dear life. He didn’t want to unexpectedly blow into the back of her throat. Even though he knew the potions he took would guarantee him some significantly better stamina and endurance than he was normally used to, he wanted to kick things off properly.

In reality, Schnee’s deepthroat lasted for but a single second and a half before her mouth retreated back up his length with nary a gag. All the while, she left his still-throbbing dick caked in a thick, fresh sheen of her saliva.

Schnee had come back up for air, finally releasing Fredrick’s dick with a wet pop. She then went back to idly stroking him whilst two web-like strings of spittle-precum mix continued to connect the head of his dick and her mouth on more than just a spiritual level. What was different this time was that, as her eyes were now open, Fredrick could see just how clouded over they were, veiled by whatever raunchy, hitherto unsatisfied desires stormed about in her mind.

Never giving up her stroking, Schnee whined:

“I wanna taste it… please~...”

Fredrick likewise replied with equally desperate tone:

“Y-Yeah? You can have as much as you want, girl~.”

Schnee beamed cutely, and Fredrick figured his heart was gonna go crazy again with how her smile, her glinting eyes, and her damp mane—matted somewhat to her face—had turned her into one of the hottest mares in this world. Hell, Fredrick felt he had the hottest mares with him in the room right now.

He didn’t get much time to admire, though, as Schnee promptly descended onto his dick once more. And just like that, his eyes had fallen shut, and he allowed his head some much needed rest on the back of the chair as Schnee instantly resumed her bobbing, if only faster… not to mention how she squeezed his length between her lips and tongue as she sucked a little harder. The end result was her, on top of it all, slurping and lavishing his length louder and hungrily like it was her favorite-flavored popsicle on the hottest summer day.

And with those ever-present, much more frequent moans she hummed around him, Fredrick was powerless to not give into his own urges to moan her name.

“Oh my fuck… Schnee… don’t stop baby. Please don’t stop~...”

Schnee’s own long, drawn-out moan in response to his pleas told him everything: she wanted it. She needed it. She knew for a fact that he was on the cusp, and had been practically edging himself for an impressive amount of time thus far. She knew he wanted to burst.

She wanted it to. And Fredrick only knew how much she really, really wanted it when he was able to gaze down on the smol mare working his dick over. Seeming like she knew he was looking, Schnee, too, opened her eyes, and let him peer back into her wide-pupiled, lavender, cock-drunk eyes.

That did it completely, and he came.

“Oh fuCK!!” he cried through gritted teeth as his entire body rocked with him firing molten salvo after another of his jizz into her mouth.

Within an instant he could feel his length being cradled in the heat of Schnee’s tongue, mouth, and an olympic swimming pool of his own making therein. As for the mare herself, Fredrick was barely able to make out her eyes going quite wide for a split second… but as his dick’s gushing finally petered out into a trickle, he was able to see the mare’s face relax into one of pure bliss.

Her eyes lidded lustfully, and he felt her tongue softly working at the head of his dick as she, surprisingly, moved the literal mouthful of his jizz towards the back of her maw… all while her gentle hands continued to caress and wring out his length of any she might’ve had the displeasure of missing.

And in one final unceremonious gesture, she swallowed… and then pulled back fully off of Fredrick’s half-way flaccid cock with the cutest, hottest sigh of contentment. Fredrick twitched uncontrollably when he felt her tongue caressing and massaging his length once more in the way a mother animal would bathe its young, cleaning it off and leaving it pristine as she found it.

In one more adorable gesture that nearly got him fully hard again, she smiled brightly, as if she just got her favorite food at a restaurant… much like earlier in the evening. She then remarked:

“Ahhh~… Stella was so right. You taste pretty good, Fredrick~,” she cooed, then giggled all drunk-like before she took his semi-hard dick and drew strokes with his re-pooling precum against the top of her left breast.

His thoughts in a whirlwind and his brain having melted into a puddle of uselessness, Fredrick didn’t have any words to reply to such an assertion from the mare… merely his own lecherous stares down at her as she tried her damndest to conspicuously return him to full mast. However, Schnee mentioning Stella made him remember that his wife was just over on the couch doing god-knows-what with Midnight.

And as he managed to crane his head over to have a gander, he got his answer by visual storytelling. Apparently, he and Schnee had a bit of an audience, as he was now just registering the two of them whooping and hollering, ostensibly at what the two had done together… though realistically, Fredrick figured it was in response to Schnee’s immaculate blowjob.

Stella, despite having planted herself squarely on her knees between Midnight’s muscular legs as the latter reclined back on the couch, had more than enough mental clarity left to offer up a some words to Schnee’s assertion:

“Yer damn fuckin’ right, lass~. Mmmmph, I’m jealous… I milk that dick of his every single day I can, and I already miss it. If ya hadn’t been a right, good little slut, I’d’ve asked ya tae share~,” she teased, and she made sure to bat her eyes knowingly at a recovering Fredrick.

Midnight expressed similar thoughts:

“What a good little mare~. You told me your experiences… but you never told me just how well you could treat a cock… fuck now I definitely want what you’re having right now~.”

Stella shut her up with a tactical palming of Middy’s now-discernibly wet mound.

“Wait yer fuckin’ turn, slag… let them have their fun first. I’m thinkin’ ya won’t have tae wait much longer, anyway~.”

And the image that Stella so lewdly provided—of her and Schnee’s lips spread apart against one another, and letting their tongues divvy up his thick, fresh load between them—provided more than enough stimulation to have him recover entirely and then some. That would’ve made any man get at least half a chub despite having spewed his goo not even a minute previously… and yet here he was, the last vestiges of his immediate orgasm having faded away with only the feel-good rush having remained.

His energy had returned in full, and if he hadn’t experienced it, nor ingrained the image into his mind, he might’ve sworn that he didn’t even actually get his balls halfway drained by the gorgeous Flower Mare. It was an odd feeling that Fredrick couldn’t fully shake, and his suddenly, painfully throbbing dick that buoyed a single bead of precum to prominence on the head of his dick did not exactly belie the forceful return of his arousal.

Fredrick’s attention was pulled away from Stella’s gorgeous face—with whom he had shared another knowing wink with—when he felt the now-familiar, dainty grasp of Schnee’s fingers curling around his erect shaft. As he turned to face her again, Schnee was already back to gently stroking his full length… all while she beckoned his face down to hers so she could properly kiss him again.

He had no issue with that, and he was more than happy to dance tongues with her again… though for some reason, Schnee didn’t open her mouth up to him for that. He figured she probably didn’t want him to taste himself on her. He never really minded that—there was always something weird about denying the girl who just cleaned out his piping through his tubesteak a little tongue action for her troubles. Wasn’t like she intended to jebait him and Frosty the Snowman his sorry ass.

She was nicer than that. Much too nice for her own good, it seemed.

Nevertheless, touching tonsils wasn’t to be, nor was there to be much traditional kissing either, as Schnee pulled away from him with an intensified, devilish look in her eyes. Fredrick was more than happy to return the look, and his dick twitched again when the Flower Mare began crawling up and onto him, mounting him properly.

Fredrick was the first to remark amongst the noise the other two were making just on the couch:

“Oh my…~ though, I think you’ve been a good girl and have been waiting long enough~,” he teased.

A determined, focused look layered itself over Schnee’s presently horny gaze.

“Oh you’re goddamn right I have, Fredrick… I need to feel it now. No more games~,” she declared, and with that, she steadied herself atop his pulsating length with the help of his shoulders.

Fredrick was happy to lend both his hands to her, in the form of holding her gorgeous hips in place. Schnee glanced at him thankfully, and blew him an air-kiss as she used her left, ‘organic’ hand to line up the head of his shaft with her entrance.

All the while, Fred ran his thumbs over the front of her hips, and traced the dips and contours of the taut muscle underneath. At this point, there was zero reason to not vocalize all his lewd thoughts of the mare:

“God you’re so fucking sexy…” he said huskily. “Now I know why Midnight’s so fuckin’ obsessed with you~.”

With how colored her face and skin were from just the heat and lust generated between the two at their acts, Fredrick didn’t think it was possible for Schnee to blush any more… and yet, there she was, having retreated behind her gorgeous, jet-black mane for fractions of a second before she seemingly regained control… and re-assumed control of the situation.

Fredrick inhaled sharply when he felt the still-sensitive head of his throbbing erection pressing up against Schnee’s labia, parting them gently and just barely entering inside her.

Schnee’s reaction was similar, but she never broke eye contact for her next words:

“I could say the same about you and Stella~. Don’t think I haven’t caught all three of you staring at me over the years. But… mmmph~...” she paused, so she could gyrate her hips in a circle to feel him spreading her more.

Fredrick thought she was attempting to tease him… tease him to the brink to the point where he just pulls her down onto him. But, he knew better… and judging by Schnee’s own pained, desperate reaction to her own actions, she was likely teasing herself more than him.

“...wanna know a secret?” she asked.

He didn’t get the chance to affirm when Schnee instead leaned into his right ear. He could hear the carnal, wicked smile on her face as she whispered:

“I’ve always loved when you all eyed me up… fucked me with your eyes. It always got me so. Fucking. Wet.”

She punctuated her final word by letting her hips drop down his pole like the sparkling ball would drop on New Years Eve. Schnee sank onto his cock, slowed herself to about halfway, and held herself there. Their combined moans and sighs as she took the time to acclimate herself only further added to the allure of what was to come…

And with how he watched one of her eyes twitch slightly, and her mouth curl up lopsidedly, she had to have been savoring the moment.

Fredrick didn’t have to wait much longer, though, as Schnee then descended further and took every inch of it until he was entirely hilted into her. The craving sigh that she emitted, as if she was satiating a deep hunger after a long day of waiting for dinner, only further made him throb more and more inside her in anticipation. She was so soaked, that there wasn’t even a shred of resistance as he slid right in.

Her own throbbing practically matched his.

And it all belied just how tight around him she actually was, likely on account of her smaller size… but Fredrick sure as hell wasn’t keeping score. He was too busy watching the mare further acclimate herself around his length. Fredrick groaned and chuckled lewdly as he ran his hands over her powerful, toned thighs… thumbing through her muscle divots while he meandered up her hip bones towards her tummy.

The sight of Schnee’s lightly muscled core flexing with her attempts at steady breathing were already cumworthy. Naturally, he was gonna egg her on and see how much control over her desires he could unravel:

“Oh fuck…~” he cooed. “There you go, Schnee… you went straight for it, huh? Naughty girl~,” he teased whilst he helped himself to her tummy, running his thumbs over her abs and circling her navel.

Schnee let loose an approving, slutty whimper, which morphed into a giggle in kind whilst she steadied herself: she firmly gripped both of his shoulders so she could lean into his face and nuzzle him with impunity.

“Hmmmm~,” she cooed back in kind. “Always… mmmph~... Wanted to know how this felt inside me~.”

Forehead-to-forehead, Fredrick let Schnee continue to keep herself stable, and that’s when he figured he should let his hands fall back to her hips. He knew what was gonna happen next, though his attention was drawn away for a brief moment when he again noticed a couple scars near her right hip dip.

Fredrick was just drooling at this point.

“God you’re so fucking sexy, Schnee~.”

He didn’t think she could get any redder in the face, but even then he was proven wrong when the smol mare started grinding her hips nice and easily against him. The sudden acute bit of pleasure that seemed to strike them both at the start of proper fucking manifested in a combined, hungry groan. Still nice and steady, Schnee began to work her hips up and down, properly—if with a much more tentative approach, at least at first—bouncing on his dick.

Even with just these small, easy movements, and having just cum quite recently, Fredrick could already feel himself building up again. Any semblance of a refractory period was completely wiped away from his mind, and in the end, to him, he could feel the swelling of his dick as if he was slowly building up to what would be the first, massive orgasm of the night.

He knew better… but these potions were working their literal magic on him.

Schnee’s open-mouthed moans brought him back to the present:

“Oh fuck… oh scheiß…~” came her breathy, husky cries.

With how well she was already moving her hips and legs to piston herself onto his rod, Fredrick eyed what he could of her backside. Those muscular asscheeks of hers looked like mighty-fine handholds to coax her further, as she seemed to not need any stabilizing for either of their sakes. Considering how far along the two of them were in enjoying each other’s bodies carnally, Fredrick deduced that he needn’t the permission to slap both of his hands to either side of her ass and start kneading in sync with her motions.

He did just that—the slap against her ass echoed lightly through the room and elicited a curt yelp from the depths of Schnee’s throat that only fueled Fredrick further in getting proper, meaty grips of her cheeks. If anything, it helped keep a lid on things so he didn’t release a second time earlier than he’d like to.

“Such a perfect ass… I bet the others have a great view of it bouncing on my dick~,” he teased.

Schnee gritted her teeth suddenly and arched her hips into his harshly.

“C-Cumming..~!” she moaned.

Fredrick beamed as he could simultaneously feel her tightening around him… almost to the point where she nearly forced him out of her with how hard her internal muscles pulsed, squeezed, and attempted (in vain) to milk him.

“Oh fuck yes, Schnee… there we go~...” he whispered as he pulled her nice and close. Bodies now flush together, Fredrick’s carnality had taken full control as his more tending and caring side during sex assumed direct control in the form of him continuing to fondly murmur:

“Good girl… and so soon? You must’ve really been pent up, hotstuff~.”

Schnee bit her lip, and he knew his encouragement was working as intended as she slowly began to writhe on him yet again, coming right back for more. He knew well and good from Stella being in heat a few times during the course of their relationship that this wouldn’t be a one-and-done… he was under no illusions.

Not that he cared. The potions, combined with his own more recent orgasm had ensured that he had only modestly built up to his next orgasm. He had plenty more to give on all fronts, and Schnee was welcome to nuzzle, grind, and writhe against him to the ends of her own delight. The feeling of her velvety, toned, lithe body flush against him as she was going through her motions was more than enough to satisfy him in the interim.

And it earned quite the comment from Stella from the couch… one which seemed strained through the throes of lust from whatever the two of them were getting themselves up to. Fredrick was in no position to angle himself around Schnee’s body to see, but based on the context clues of Stella’s moaning through her words and what sounded distinctly like sloppy sucking, fondling, and giggling from Midnight, he had a decent idea of what was happening.

“Mmmph~... fuuuuck yes, Fredrick. The Alemane slag doesn’t even mount ya fer… ahhh~!... fer thirty seconds and she’s fuckin’ sauced herself. Fuck I love ya so much~.”

Schnee was beginning to buck her hips idly again, which extorted some telltale pleasure in his voice with Fredrick’s reply:

“Yesss… though it really… fuck… really helped that I had the best teacher imaginable~. Love you too, sexy~,” he cooed right back.

Any further correspondence he was to have with his wife was cut off when Schnee angled his face back towards hers and immediately slipped her tongue back in his mouth. Accepting her in with glee, Schnee let out a drawn-out moan as she picked right back up where she left off in rhythmically riding his rod.

It felt… divine. That much was easy to ascertain by his groans alone once Schnee had her fill of sucking his tongue, for now at least. Even though her own moans mixed with his in their own little chorus of carnal pleasure, Fredrick wasn’t going to turn down not telling the smol mare how amazing she was. He adopted a knowing, shit-eating smirk atop his now pleasantly hot, damp face:

“Oh fuck… oh Schnee~... back at it so soon?” he dared to ask.

“Y-Yessss~... Please, I want more. I need more~.”

Fredrick licked his lips, bore his gaze into her eyes, and huskily stated:

“No one’s stopping you. Take your fill~.”

All the while, one of his hands slid back up her flexed tummy and mounted one of her bouncing tits, cradling her nipple in the crook in the pinching grasp of his fingers where he was able. His other hand fell to her hipbone once again to help keep her steady through her vigorous dickriding—after her first orgasm, her coordination and cohesion of what she wanted physically had dropped drastically.

Not that it was an issue for him. Fredrick found it beyond hot that she had practically lost all sense of control… when she was supposed to be the one in a controlling position right now!

Schnee seemed to feed off of his words, and in a burst of speed and vigor, she began impaling herself fully on his dick, riding up and down his entire length to the point where Fredrick felt he was gonna slip out of her. That gave him all the excuse to hold her fully by her hips, and run his thumbs over her hip dips, bones, and feel just how hard her lower core muscles were working. Hell, he’d even keep eye-contact with her if she could hold it for very long without letting her eyes fall lopsidedly shut.

“Ahhh… AHHH! FUCK!” she cried out again when she slammed down much harder onto Fredricks hips, making his entire length disappear inside her as she came again after barely another thirty seconds of fucking.

Fredrick was all-too happy to be accommodating, and held her closely against him once again as she writhed and rode out her second orgasm in quick succession. He massaged her back and dug his fingertips into her asscheeks while he whispered gruffly into her ear:

“Goooood girl~... Very good girl, Schnee. We gotta let it all out, baby~.”

She continued to pulsate around him… continued to subconsciously try to milk him once again, and drain his balls to her own delight, rather than just his.

“Heh… ahhh~,” she groaned back, open-mouthed, and once she locked onto his adoring stare again, Fredrick could practically see the bright hearts in the pupils of her lavender eyes, set alight by her own, limitless arousal.

She continued:

“I’m sorry… I just. I can’t handle you like this. I’m so horny…” she slurred out.

She then nuzzled into his chest, and drew the flat of her tongue up the inside of his left pec. Her further response was delayed somewhat when she followed that up with further affection lavished on his chest by her tongue. Apparently she enjoyed treating him like a saltlick on account of the light, dampness that formed as the two fucked.

Fredrick ran his fingers through her long, flowing, now-damp and matted mane as she continued to enjoy his body:

“Yeah… you’re definitely a horny girl, that’s for sure~.”

She suddenly stopped her extra bit of enjoyment and glared back into his eyes with the same erotic fervor she had been trying to hide all day.

“I want you to cum again, too,” she groaned. “Please, Freddy… Friedrich… I want it,” she panted. Her pleading, carnal whining continued:

“I need it. I want it inside me. I need it inside me. Please~...”

Fredrick bit his lip, giggled, and offered up a gentle buck of his hips upward to further nudge his length inside her, however much farther that took. Beyond Schnee’s sudden gasping and gyrating of her hips in answer to Fredrick’s own little mischief, Stella had something to say about their little exchange just then:

“Mmmph~... fuck… now she wants ya tae sauce her babychamber? Shit lad… I think I fuckin’... aaaAAhhhH…~ I fuckin’ taught ya too well, mate! Fuckin’ right stud, I’m really impressed~.”

Fredrick, this time did his best to angle his gaze around Schnee so he could give Stella a more personal waggle of his eyebrows in response. In reality, met with the sudden, boner-swelling sight of a nude Midnight’s long tongue slithering simultaneously over his equally-nude wife’s clit and her entrance, any snarky response died on the tip of his tongue.

“Holy fuck… you’re impressed? Look at you two~. And you give me way too much credit, babe. I don’t think I did that much to get this one cumdrunk for me~,” he said, then punctuated with a firm, meaty slap on Schnee’s ass and a tug of her tail.

Stella, who had just witnessed that entire exchange between the two of them, purred in Fredrick’s direction whilst she wove her fingers through Midnight’s mane to encourage more of that magic she was working on her slit.

“Fuck me am I proud tae call ya me husband, lad~.”

Fredrick blew an air-kiss in Stella’s direction. He then turned his full attention back to the gorgeous Alemanian mare who was just begging for more attention… and his gaze narrowed lasciviously when he drummed up a quick idea of just what to do to her next. And in that same vein, he figured now was a great time to respond to her previous statements, or rather, her demands.

“Yeah? Is that what you want, gorgeous~?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow knowingly, all while he ran his hands back up her body to her heaving tits which were just inviting to be handled some more.

She nodded a bit too excitedly, locks of her mane dislodging from the dampness of her forehead and partially veiling one of her eyes in the process. Like with Stella whenever her responses were laced with ‘horny’ (and they always were), Fredrick didn’t think he’d ever get tired of just how sexy her accented words would grace his ears:

“Mmmhmmm~. More than anything~! I want you to fuck me until you explode.”

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow, depressing both her nipples into her breasts under his thumbs like the cute little buttons they were.

“Oh? Until I explode~?” he asked.

Schnee emitted an immensely hot hybrid of a squeak and a whine.

“Ja, bitte~. I want to feel it inside me. I want to feel how hot and warm you’ll make me inside… and maybe… just maybe…”

She pressed her nose into Fredrick’s, and the human could see the lust-kindled, crazed inferno in her horny eyes.

“...you’ll put a foal into me~.”

Fredrick could feel his pupils widening by the millisecond as Schnee uttered those fateful words… the same words that let him in on the fact that Stella had a small breeding kink. And that in turn led to a hell of a conversation after the fact, that no one really had a ‘breeding’ kink… it just came with your biological programming.

Stella had then promptly told him to shut his whore mouth and mind his own goddamn business if he knew what was good for him.

And then they had fucked again, but that was neither here nor there. All that to say, Fredrick knew better than to reply with a witty, smartass remark right this moment after Schnee’s heat-stricken mouth had laid bare her hope for him to flat-out impregnate her. In the end, he figured that it was just best to relish in the fact that she wanted him to creampie her in copious quantities.

He grinned evilly at her, though he was sure the powerful throbbing in his dick—reluctantly removed from her depths—was personally pumping ‘the horny’ directly into his sparkling gaze up at this mare.

“Ohhhh, so that’s what you want, huh?” he asked. “You want me to just fuck you pregnant, huh?”

She nodded so fast, in conjunction with her cartoonishly large eyes and pupils right now, he half expected her head to fly off.

“YES!” she growled through her native tongue. She then followed up with another demand in which Fredrick could only pick out one or two words… though he nevertheless knew exactly what she was asking for:

“Please… take me. Now. Take me and fuck me and fill me!”

Fredrick heard some commotion from the couch, and without even attempting to find her, he let Stella’s ultimatum enter his ears:

“Fuuuuck~... mate, if ya don’t fuckin’ do it, I’ll get some fuckin’ potion sixty-three again and do it m’self! Chop chop—Mmmph—get a fuckin’ move on yer cock and balls, ya slack cunt!”

Cackling, Fredrick happily took over control right away, and gently nudged Schnee off his lap. The porcelain-coated mare bit her lip as she complied with his wordless order, and apparently attempting to show what a ‘good girl’ she was, she quickly fell to her knees. Fredrick observed, stunned as she then trapped her chest between her two biceps, which pushed her breasts up… and combined with how she looked up at him with a beaming smile and puppydog-esque eyes, she appeared ready to ‘receive’ anything he would give her.

It certainly sent a swell of blood into his already quite erect rod, and as lovely an image his mind conjured of grabbing a fistful of her mane and fucking her mouth until he unloaded all over that pretty little face was… he had other plans that would fulfil the ‘request’ she had just made.

“Not this time, cutie~,” came his husky reply to her demeanor, and instead he stooped down low to scoop her up in his grasp, bridal style.

Schnee giggled like a schoolgirl the entire time, and she cutely brought her hands up to mask her blushing, adorable face… all while she gently kicked her hooves back and forth in a gleeful display of barely-contained giddiness. Despite the heart-heart-attack-inducing display, one thing he noticed as he hauled her towards the nearest wall behind the chair they were using was how dense her little form was. She was certainly lighter than Stella… but the muscle mass that made itself known in her legs especially was nothing to sneeze at in terms of weight.

He could definitely ‘toss her around,’ per his previous retard-assessment of the situation. But he’d break more than a little bit of a sweat doing so than he had previously thought… that was for sure.

“You may get bored of me saying this… but Christ you’re just so fucking adorably sexy… how you’re still single? I have no goddamn clue,” he voiced, right as he set her down on her somewhat shaky hooves, just facing the wall.

And despite her apparent instability after the gnarly impaling she put herself through, Schnee knew exactly what was being asked of her. Her lewd smile intensified as she pressed her hands against the wall, stiffened her arms, and then angled her back expertly, which jutted her ass out oh-so enticingly towards Fredrick. Her jet-black tail swished and twirled hypnotically over her lower back and backside, swaying in kind with her hips in an attempt to guide him like an aircraft to a runway.

As if he needed any more enticing, Schnee then lifted her tail fully to reveal to him her damp, drooling pussy in full 4K resolution and the perfect lighting of the room. So wet was she, in the glimmer of the aforementioned lighting of the room, Fredrick could see the rivulets of her arousal that unstuck between her inner thighs as she spread them apart, and had run down the back of her muscular legs.

Just above that was her flexed, perfect, porcelain ass that he had all the pleasure of digging his fingers into over the last… however many minutes had passed thus far.

Giggling and blushing wildly, the looks Fredrick was giving her (along with his dick visibly twitching) showered her with compliments in ways that meant so much more to her than mere words could convey. Putting the dexterity of her tail to use, she wrapped what she could around Fredrick’s hand and pulled him closer, making sure he knew exactly where he was supposed to be.

“Come here, stud~.”

Once again, the enraptured human knew exactly what she said despite knowing few of the words. The final measure of cherry on top was when she then reached under her, between her legs, and spread her pussylips apart… which revealed to him the depths of her red-hot tunnel in all its succulent, needy glory.

Fredrick worked on lining himself up right away, laying a hand on one of her hips, though not without delivering another firm swat to her left asscheek, which earned him a promiscuous moan and giggle bundled into one. Further, it was impossible to resist the urge of running the head of his bare, leaking, throbbing dick up and down the length of her pussy, which further coaxed more twitches out of her lower body. A single, thick strand of his precum connected his dick to her slit, and he was keen on finding himself rearranging her insides properly.

“Fuck yes, gorgeous~... I’m all yours right now~,” he cooed.

Schnee bit her lip and batted her eyelashes back at him through the damp veil of her mane.

“Please… Friedrich…,” she pleaded, and then followed up with a proper, militaristic order in her own language that everyone in the room could understand through her heat-addled state:

“Gib. Mir. Ein. Baby~!”

The whole idea of demanding to get impregnated was something that always struck him in this world in regards to estrus cycles. In the end, as Stella had explained to him previously, him not being able to actually fulfill that potentially disastrous, lust-corrupted request was something that truly made him valuable beyond what he brought to the world with his personality… and hence, where they all were right now. Still, it never brought him any clarity as to what he could actually say to someone like Schnee… who was begging him to stuff her, creampie her, and load up her baby chamber.

“Naughty girl~,” came his husky reply. “But fuck yeah I’ll do my best!”

And with a little coaxing from her as she literally backed her ass up into him just that much more. Her drawn-out moan of satisfaction sounded through the room as he finally slid his head—and then his length—into her inch by inch. Keeping both his hands on her hips, and then subsequently slapping them both to her asscheeks to watch them jiggle and further draw out her pleasurable sounds, he finally bottomed out into her. He let his eyes droop slightly as her enveloping warmth radiated outward from just around his dick, to his entire body. Despite how tight she was from before, there seemed to be even less resistance this time around, and in the end, he had slid right in.

He could feel her twitching and shivering as he did… and he wasn’t entirely sure, but was pretty sure she came again once he bottomed out inside her, based on the length of her throaty whimper alone.

From out of sight, it was now Midnight’s turn to apparently offer her appraisal of the view the two of them were providing:

“Mmmmph~. God you two look so delicious. Oh fuck~... mmmph~... lucky you, Freddy boy~. Give it to her!”

Fredrick could only imagine what Stella was doing to her in comeuppance for what pleasures she was put through… but he was sure he’d get all the details after the fact. His only goal right now was to quite literally fuck the heat out of this smol, lovely soldier mare who deserved so much more than really any of them could give her.

And so with his hands still on her hip bones for use as more-than appropriate handholds, Fredrick started thrusting into her. With his own arousal having assumed complete control thanks entirely to the potions he took in conjunction with being surrounded by the pure manifestation of ‘sex,’ he felt little need to temper his initial strokes into Schnee. Biting his lip, he made sure that the whole room could hear his hips smacking into Schnee’s ass with every forward thrust.

Schnee’s little body lurched forward in sync, though her hands and arms kept her dutifully planted and anchored against the wall… all which was needed for Fredrick to beat into her as deep, hard, and fast as he was. Though he was distracted enough with just how amazing she felt around his cock each time he sunk into her, he couldn’t deny how sexy she looked when she tried to look back at him, or make halfway proper eye-contact.

“Fuck… yes…” Fredrick’s mind uttered for him, with not much else able to properly convey how great his dick was feeling without trading blood for brainpower from elsewhere.

‘Try’ was the key-word here, as her already weakened legs plus whatever pleasure he was injecting into her was giving her a proper fight for stability in coherence, if the rhythmic, husky breathing and moans she was emitting was anything to go by. In reality, all she ended up doing was jutting her ass outward more into Fredrick’s motions… as if doing so would force more and more of his rod into her hot depths.

Her barely-coherent answer to both Fredrick’s way with few words and his actions was shaky—literally—at best:

“Ohhhh… f-fuck…~ Ahhhnn~... yess… ja…!”

Schnee went rigid again, and nearly pushed him out of her when she came around him yet again with a hitch in her whimpering. And yet, she pushed backward into him. She was in no way done:

“Hah… More… please…~”

He didn’t even really stop, per se, and was more than happy to pick up his original speed.

She let her head sag between her arms as Fredrick could hear her biting her lip, and her erstwhile, vocal moans of pleasure instead emerged as pleading whines from her throat as she fought to keep any semblance of stability against their chosen wall. He watched as her mane drooped sexily around her head and down her back, veiling her and swaying each time he sunk his dick into her. Her tits, bouncing and undulating with each forward thrust, were the delicious accents to it all.

“Always~... Always for a good girl~...” he moaned, though in the heat of the moment, he couldn’t really be sure what he had said made any sense or even sounded sexy.

The full effects of the potion were now upon him, deep within the throes of such a lecherous act while his smoking hot wife was equally getting up to sexy shenanigans that they’d surely reminisce about later. All that occupied the various regions of his brain was the singular, biological, carnal need to fuck the absolute shit out of this mare.

But not only that, it was now the singular purpose to just cum.

And the fact that her tail was swishing metronomically in front of him was a provocation too hypnotizing to pass up, so he unceremoniously grasped it from the base and pulled her back onto his hips as he bucked forward. For extra good measure, he used his free hand to swat her ass once again, yet firmly at the same time.

Her reaction was, predictably, immediate… considering he gave her no pause—no acclimation period for the change. He carried on slamming her hips into his as her astonishment emerged in the form of:

“OH. MEIN. GOTT!” followed by a continuous, whimpering, whining moan that told him just how much she—and her pussy—were melting around his dick.

He didn’t need to be made aware by words and moans alone: each time his cock disappeared into Schnee’s pussy, her ‘arousal runoff’ did well to coat the fronts of his hips and thighs. He had her right where he wanted her… and boy would he exploit every bit of that on account of his dick becoming hypersensitive and seeming like it swelled further within her.

“Harder… ahh! please fuck me harder!! Ahh! Make me cum again!”

Fredrick smirked, then chuckled evilly as he yanked her tail back yet again.

“Heh, like this?” he added, punctuating his words with yet another tail yank, coupled with stuffing his entire length into her after he pulled out to just below his head. She let out the most adorable, sex-laden ‘eep!,’ which only spurred him onward to something a little more dastardly:

He released her tail, and instead got a nice helping of her flowing main in his hand before it suffered the same fate, getting pulled taut, and yanking her head back all the while. Her reaction to this change was stark in the form of a feral, demanding:

“JA! JA, BITTE~!

“AHH FUCK I’M… CUMMING AGAIN…!”

He didn’t have to know what she said. He felt it. Fredrick could add a notch of ‘make a girl cum so hard or so much she reverts back to her first language’ to his pride.

Each consecutive thrust and the resulting moans—along with the verbal pleas they evoked—aided in the gradual buildup in his loins. Whatever insensitivity had affected him from his previous orgasm was completely gone, replaced by a feeling of his balls seemingly becoming heavier and bloated. His dick throbbed with an intensity that heretofore he had never experienced.

Schnee appeared to pick up on this right away, and encouraged his strategy fully in the form of angling her gaze back at him with sultrily lidded eyes. Through the damp veil of her bangs, she still continued to belt out her exhortations, holding as much eye contact as she could with him all the while. Her tongue lolled slightly out of her mouth at various points… and as Schnee further backed her ass into him every time he so much as bucked his hips forward, the resulting, continued hammering deep inside her further spiraled her into more unhinged, depraved words of encouragement as she herself got closer and closer:

“Fuck… Fredrick… Ahhh… fill. Me. Up. Achh… Impregnate. Me. Claim. Me. Tame. Me. Fuck. Meeee~!”

And that depravity further fueled his own desire to explode deep within her, as was her request after all. He couldn’t even hear what was going on on the couch anymore with just how loud Schnee was moaning, pleading, and letting loose variations of his name and expletives in the process. The feedback loop that was created had now placed him on the final stretch—he could feel the most pleasant tickle at the base of his dick begin to build and swell his pleasure like a hose filling a balloon.

Schnee seemed in no better straits.

Fredrick felt this was the best position to be in, and he decided to make it all the more memorable with the advantages afforded to him based on their position and size disparities.

And in that final stretch, Fredrick gritted his teeth and channeled a burst of eagerness for the crescendo. Stopping his thrusting if but for a few precious seconds, the human dropped his hand to the back of Schnee’s right leg, just behind the knee. Channeling the heightened coordination he sported from just being so close to the precipice, he scooped her right leg up and folded it over his forearm. Moreover, her now semi-twisted orientation against the wall gave Stella and Midnight a bit more of a show of the ‘real happenings between them…’ if they were even paying attention at this point.

And apparently they were when Fredrick heard Midnight distinctly exclaim, astonished:

“Holy… fuck…!”

The vocal gasp Schnee emitted at the sudden alteration of her positioning was adorable, but it was quickly replaced once again with guttural moaning when Fredrick was quick to slot himself right back into her… with the only difference being the comparatively more exciting position allowing him to hit her differently.

He wasn’t sure if she came again right then, but he had his suspicions.

“FUCK!” she cried out, eyes wide, and not particularly focusing on anything anymore.

“Ahhnn~! Ah… AH! Fuck me! Keep fucking me like this, ahh! I’ll kill you if you stop… FUCK ME!”

Fredrick gritted his teeth and continued working his hips into her, his face now much more damp with exertion… though his energy levels continued to remain impossibly high. Whatever was in this potion was simply otherworldly.

He practically growled her name as the end was upon them:

“Schnee… oh fuck, baby!

The Alemaneian mare knew that tone well, and she sounded like she was drooling when she uttered:

“Fredrick! Just like that, Liebling~. Ahh!!

“I’m so close again, baby… mmmph~. I need it! Rut my pussy! Ahhh! I want it raw in the morning! PLEASE… don’t pull out~!”

In any normal context for him, even just reading something like that would be grounds for cringe. But in the state he was, with his balls-deep inside her and on the verge of emptying said balls into her womb, those words might as well have been angelic scripture that exhorted all his affection… and his semen.

“Yeah??”

“Ja—AHH!” Schnee was interrupted when he thrust a little harder than he was. She quivered on her one, shaky leg.

“I’m gonna cum again—AHH! FREDRICK SHOOT… FUCK! A FAT LOAD INTO ME! INSIDE ME!”

“Schnee it’s coming…~!”

“Do it! Ahh! MMMPH AHH—!”

Schnee came intensely, and Fredrick certainly felt a new rush of wetness against him as she tightened noticeably around him. She went silent as what would’ve been a shrill moan of climax was blunted by her breath catching. Instead, her howls of orgasm came as infrequent twitching and shuddering as the last of her strength seemingly left her body through the contractions of her pussy.

Fredrick, meanwhile, with Schnee’s overt encouragement, completely and unceremoniously unloaded into her. He felt his cum rush straight into the depths of her pussy the mere moment he hilted himself into her one more time. Like a sword into its sheath, Fredrick held himself there and let his own quivering, shaky moans and growls—which more than competed with Schnee’s for dominance—waterfall from his lips whilst his dick pulsed nigh-painfully with each spewed volley injection of his seed.

All of this was accompanied by little micro-thrusts into the smol mare as his orgasm, much more powerful than the last, wrung his heavy balls entirely. Though she remained a most pleasant embrace around him, Fredrick could feel his softening member bathed in his own cum deep within her… and though he couldn’t see it right now, a slight disturbance down by his feet indicated that some measure of his handiwork escaped its confines, and dripped out of her and down to the floor beneath their feet and hooves.

He let her leg back down, nice and slowly, but dared not pull out just yet.

“Fuck… holy fuckin’ shit… Schnee~.”

“Fried… rich~. Freddie~. Mmmph~.”

They held their position, with Fredrick taking a much more tender hold of the shaky mare. Though he was fully spent and regained some measure of coherence, Fredrick was keen on just letting this moment play out, along with the flowing warmth over his body that it came with. Whilst he continued to run his hands over her back, Schnee’s legs wobbled something fierce, and her support via her arms appeared to be giving way as well. In conjunction with her incoherent murmurings and mewlings, fully-closed eyes, flushed face, and her lower lip soaked in her drool, the human was even somewhat impressed with himself…

…even if he owed a fair amount of his vigor and recovery to the potions he took. Hell, he already felt himself getting a half-chub again as he slowly, tenderly retreated from inside Schnee.

“Ahhh… aahh!” came her residual, twitchy moaning.

Though twitching at the extra sensitivity he now felt, it was nothing compared to the mare he just fucked, who continued to writhe and allow her ass to be pulled back by force of dick… as if she was trying desperately to keep him inside her by instinct alone. She released him though, much to her deep chagrin, and Fredrick watched amusedly as whatever strength was propping her up, suddenly seemed to leave her body and evaporate.

He leaned against the back of the chair, and watched as Schnee—completely and utterly spent, for now—fell to her knees in front of the wall, and slid the rest of the way, having let her now-lame legs crumple beneath her. With the last of her strength, while still shaky and whimpering, she turned herself over and leaned her back against the wall where they just finished the dirtiest of deeds.

Breathing heavily himself, and not bothering to wipe the drops of sweat that had properly accumulated on his brow, Fredrick watched, chuffed, to see Schnee’s tired eyes having glazed over entirely with a far-off look… and in the end, stared off into nowhere in particular as she rested. Her legs remained splayed wide enough where her thoroughly-fucked pussy quite visibly oozed a modest bit of his thick cum, which dribbled down and pooled a tiny puddle just beneath her.

It was all overtaken by the most satisfied, calm, contented, open-mouthed grin he had seen her sport tonight, along with a forthcoming, relaxed:

“Hmmmm~.”

He himself was content on taking a breather, and letting his continued deep breathing do the talking between them.

The sight in and of itself was nearly enough to get him to full mast again, though he’d still need at least a couple minutes given his tired state and the sheer intensity of what had just transpired… or so he thought. Like clockwork, the refractory period potion began working its magic again, and he could feel a warmth diffuse throughout his lower body barely perceptibly. Like a figurative eraser on a chalkboard, any post-orgasmic sensitivity or pain from such a powerful splooging seemed to be gradually wiped away until it felt like, yet again, he was as horny as he could be and had not cum a single time tonight.

He didn’t think he’d be getting over that disconnect between his mind, his corporeal feeling, nor what he had seen figuratively with his own eyes.

So much so, that he forgot there were two other mares in the room with them… mares who, having not glanced in their general direction for a while, were oddly quiet right now. Even so, he could still feel their stares, and in turning to look at them, Fredrick couldn’t suppress a smug, prideful smile when he found them with both their jaws completely slackened.

He cocked an eyebrow and acknowledged them with a single nod:

“Ladies…~” he cooed, and Stella was snapped out of her horny stupor with a deep chuckle.

She replied, spent herself, yet wholly impressed and proud at the display her husband put on:

“F-Fer fuuuuuck’s sake, lad! Good fuckin’ show… ya even made me jealous!” she exclaimed, and apparently the thoughts of what they had seen from their position had stuck with her, because Stella’s hand found itself between her legs once more.

Fredrick was unceremoniously brought back to full mast as he watched his wife caress her soaked slit in circles. The pride in her voice outweighed her abject horniness, though:

“You look like ya did a fuckin’ number on her… I think she’s one satisfied slut. Innit, Schnee?” she called out.

The fuck-drunk mare only barely mustered a “Mhmmm~!” And that was all Fredrick needed to hear.

Stella then sprawled out lazily.

“Holy shit mate… mmmm~, well done~.”

He smirked and winked lasciviously at his wife.

“I learned from the best, after all~.”

Stella purred.

“Flatterer~.”

Midnight, however, wasn’t proud per se. She was profoundly aroused at what she saw, if her abyssal, wide pupils, blushed face, and panting breathing were anything to go by. At the start of Stella’s final word, the built mare had stood ramrod off the couch and marched directly at him with carnal purpose in that gaze of hers.

Seeing her approach with such intent immediately elicited a sudden, ‘scaroused’ pang in his stomach, which then traveled right back down into his fully re-hardened dick in the form of a semi-painful twitch.

“You are not done yet, mister! You are going right back into that chair…” she declared, and practically picked him up by the waist and transplanted him back into the familiar embrace of where it all started.

“...right now!” she finished as she set him down clumsily.

Now back in the literal first position he found himself in, Fredrick’s eyes scanned upward and finally focused on Midnight’s nude, chiseled form in all its Amazoness-like glory. Her copper coat seemed to radiate the warm light of the room, which further glinted off every nook, cranny, and crevice of her seemingly perfectly-carved musculature… at least, from her massive legs up to that marble-carved core of hers. Those large, teardrop tits, sitting atop the undeniably powerful pecs which would put the endurance of men or stallions larger than him to shame, adorned her upper torso…

…and those dark, small, hard nipples looked like they could cut diamonds. They held sheen-like wetness on them, too. Apparently Stella had more than her fair share of them. He couldn’t wait to mix his spit with hers.

In such a statuesque pose, he watched as Midnight smirked knowingly back at Stella, whom he could see was on cloud nine, somehow fucked stupid with how she lazed on the couch with her own legs spread. Her face was bright red, and her eyes weren’t focusing on anything but the ceiling. She harbored a most content smile with copious amounts of drool at the edge of her lip—apparently after the few words they shared, it all finally hit her in the best of ways.

He smirked, and cackled internally. She definitely couldn't handle the ‘Song style.’

“And Stella? I’m sorry in advance… but I’m gonna need to borrow your stud right fucking now~.”

With those words, his eyes went wider at the implication of what was about to happen. He knew it was going to once she physically set him back down on the chair. But seeing the state his wife was left in further hammered home the point that he was likely in for the same treatment… or something else entirely…

…if those deep, emerald eyes of hers which were now hyper-focused on him, were anything to go by. Said eyes were proclaiming loudly as to how the night would end.

As for Stella, Fredrick glanced back over to her when she responded in a weak, but coherently recovering state:

“A-Aye, lass…~ mmph. Fuck, me legs—just return him back tae me still workin’, aye Midds? Preferably… ah… same or better condition~.”

Midnight didn’t regard her with her eyes, but merely returned Fredrick’s gesture in scanning up and down his body. She seemingly enjoyed what she saw, as she ran her tongue over the tip of one of her fangs before biting her lower lip.

She giggled needily—a neediness that only a powerful mare swept up in the current of an impending, even more powerful heat could project.

“Hehe, absolutely no guarantees, Stella~.”

All the while, Fredrick heard some stirring behind him from an incapacitated Schnee… some weak words remarking about a ‘hot, sex-crazed mare’ or something similar. He wondered whom that was in reference to.

Nor did he really have the chance to verify that Schnee was actually okay, as the moment he attempted to glance behind him, he was pushed back into the familiar embrace of the chair. And only when Midnight’s nude body straddled his legs, did he realize that it was her turn to now sit on his lap. The main difference as he scanned up her perfectly chiseled body once more was the sheer weight difference between her, Schnee, and even Stella! Very noticeable. Pleasant, but noticeable.

This was easily explained by the vast difference between not only their statures, but their body types in general… not that Fredrick had any problem with the extra weight that ‘befell’ his lap just below his rock-hard dick—being allowed to drink in Midnight’s entire body this intimately was more than acceptable.

Fredrick ran his hands gently up Midnight’s available thighs, though it was immediately apparent that there was no need for ‘gently,’ as her quads were solid blocks of metal with just enough give in them to know that she was still flesh and bone. It was exactly what he admired about Stella and her ass, and he and his dick were in perfect agreement.

Midnight, at that moment, said nothing, and was keen to just use her advantage in height over him to properly leer down at him like a carnally-enraptured predator animal… as if she was letting him toy with her for the time being before she inevitably struck. She lowered her eyelids, and bit her lip down at him with her own powerful, lust-filled smile which Fredrick was all-too keen to return.

Fredrick was temporarily brought out of his tunnel vision when he noticed Stella getting up and meandering her way over towards Schnee, who was presumably still seated yet perched up against the wall.

She giggled as she put that extra sway in her hips—along with a requisite, coruscating twirl of her gorgeous tail—that always drove Fredrick mad with desire.

“Fuck me, lass… mare down! He did a fuckin’ number on ye~,” she ‘observed.’

Schnee groaned in return, and pointedly—weakly—added:

“A wonderful, sexy, gorgeous number indeed~.”

Midnight this time let Fredrick get a good look at Stella tenderly pulling Schnee’s nude body fully on the floor and off the wall-perch… and then the both of them watched as Stella straddled her in a familiar manner. Such a straddling didn’t last very long before the guardsmare lay herself fully on top of the Flower Mare for some action of her own.

“Always wanted tae do this since I first met yer fuckin’, cutie-fuckin’-licious ass~,” she said before she initiated a sloppy makeout.

“Mmmmph~!”

The highlight of the view was their positioning, in which Fredrick (and presumably Midnight) were able to catch Stella’s drenched slit placed just above Schnee’s full, cum-leaking pussy. Though both of them seemed pretty spent, he at least got a great view of the snuggle-fest and what sounded like their tongues really going at it, along with some tell-tale fondling.

God-fucking-damn!

Yet another image to sear into Fredrick’s brain as a permanent memory. Sometimes he wished he had the ability to ‘screenshot’ his vision properly without a camera.

He felt a warm, strong finger hook his chin and turn him to face Midnight properly. From there, he watched as she brought both her hands to her much larger tits, which sat a little higher above his face, and squeezed them enticingly. Her darker nipples puffed out as she squeezed them together, and she leaned forward just enough to graze his face with them… all before teasingly pulling back with a knowing giggle.

Needless to say, he was taken.

“Heard you just loooove titties, Freddie~... so how’re these?”

Fredrick didn’t get the chance to say how much he’s always enjoyed glancing at them and having them nearly at eye-level with him at all times… as Midnight quite literally pulled him in for a closer look: hand on the back of his head, she used her free arm to push her tits up from underneath and then yanked him into her cleavage. Fredrick happily inhaled her flowery, yet sweaty scent once his nose was against her sternum and his cheeks were squished by her large girls.

Midnight continued her evil giggling all while she shimmied them against his face for a couple seconds.

Fredrick took this as the start of ‘things’ between them, and subsequently as his cue to continue on his end. He slapped his hands onto her rock-hard thighs and gripped them nice and tightly… though with immediate hindsight, that did more damage to his hands and fingers, but thankfully, Midnight seemed to appreciate the gesture, as she pulled back just enough to give him a proper kiss…

… and the literal moment he opened his mouth to her playfully prodding tongue, she shoved that thing into the back of his throat

He widened his eyes as he thought he was literally about to get suffocated by her tongue, but thankfully it wasn’t to be as she retreated enough to more respectably wrestle with his own. The two of them devolved into moans all the while as she took her fill of a surprisingly deep, yet lightning quick makeout. What made it even more pleasure-filled, and humorous for Fredrick, went beyond Midnight’s immaculate kissing ability—that was readily apparent and beyond dispute.

He could prominently taste Stella’s sweet, pineapple essence on her tongue.

God he loved his mare. God he loved his friends!

Once they separated, he could properly answer:

“Just… Amazing~,” he cooed, and further expanded upon his words huskily once he ‘took possession’ of her orbs from her own hands:

“Big and heavy,” he observed out loud. “Just how I love ‘em.”

With that, he couldn’t deny his hunger any longer, and drew the entire surface area of his tongue over the front of Midnight’s left tit, though he made sure to purposefully track around her pert nipple. He lived for these girls’ reactions, and the soft exhale she gave when Fredrick finally gave into at least his partial desires was what propelled him forward. His dick pointing straight upward as if it was directing him figuratively forward, he then finally quit playing around and properly inhaled that patiently waiting nipple into his mouth.

“Hmmmm~,” Midnight cooed, and though he couldn’t see her on account of his entire vision being taken up by ‘boob,’ he could ‘hear’ her close her eyes.

Further, he felt the posture of her upper back slacken as she relaxed… and as he pressed forward in contorting his tongue around his nipple in any attempt to sate his thirst for her, his zeal was further fed by Midnight’s fingers running through his hair with their requisite scalp scritches. Fredrick let his hands continue their work fondling… as well as making sure that her neglected tit was still getting some consolatory fondling and pinching of its nipple.

And oh did Midnight’s arousal dribble from her fangy, giggling mouth when Fredrick slurped her nipple as he sucked harder… as if he’d somehow quench his sudden, crippling thirst by acting on his carnal need to worship these perfect tits.

She spoke up huskily, groaning her words out in a manner so maternal that Fredrick would have zero qualms, in his lust-inebriated state, with calling her ‘mommy:’

“Mmmm, so good, Freddie~. Take your fill, baby… get my titties aaaall nice and wet, now, mkay~?”

Fredrick popped off her first nipple and, with glazed-over eyes of his own, simply replied:

“Gladly~.”

He descended upon her right tit, and repeated the exact same process. All the while, his hands continued to memorize every inch of her tits by cupping them, squeezing them, squeezing them against his face, or brushing and flicking her nipples. Some horny part within him wondered if this was going to be a yearly occurrence between the friends, but he had no intention of betting on it. So just in case, he wanted to commit as much of this entire night to memory.

And that, of course, meant memory of these large, pendulous, copper-coated tits that he was lavishing presently. Just like Midnight requested, he was gonna make sure he left those nipples of hers caked in a sticky layer of his spit as he switched up his fawning between her left and right breasts. He could gauge a bit of how well he was doing, considering Midnight’s soft groaning continued in earnest, her grinding her slick crotch into his rod, and the fact that her hold tightened considerably on his head. The latter was especially true when Fredrick would oh-so gently scrape his teeth on the tops and bottoms of her nipple, or would suck so hard that he’d pull her whole, heavy tit back with him before releasing her nipple with a wet-sounding pop.

Fredrick then squeezed both her big tits together, having both her nipples point directly at his face, and ran his tongue between her girls… all before he pressed his face into her cleavage to smother himself properly. That’s when he happily ran his tongue up her sternum.

‘Get them nice and wet,’ was the order of the day. That applied to all of her delicious chest…

…until it couldn’t, anymore. Midnight pulled away without warning, slinking just out of his grasp and giggling all the while as her chest retreated behind her arms. Fredrick regarded her with the lewdest gaze he could, in return for her blushed, carnal expression already way ahead of them and fucking him in her mind.

Any questions he had about what was next or what Midnight wanted were sufficiently answered when she finally got up off his lap—which returned full blood-flow to his legs—and starting with a bitten lip, gave him a single kiss on his lips…

…and then down his jawline towards his chin…

…and down his neck, and then his chest, where she lingered a little longer to get a proper feel of his pecs for herself, much like Schnee did. No comment came from her, other than when she ran her tongue in a semi-circle over his left pec before resuming her journey southward.

Once at eye-level with his stomach, he watched, and shuddered as she kissed the tops of his loosely-defined abs, and ran her finger through the tiny, forming divots demarcating his abs from one another… which became a little more obvious when he flexed from the sudden pleasure of Midnight running her tongue over them.

She giggled again, gazing back up at him and allowing him to get lost in her emerald pools once more.

“Your abs have been coming in since the last time I saw you during our beach trip a few months ago~!” she remarked.

She then angled herself so she could talk to Stella directly:

“You’ve done good with this cutie pie, Stella~. Whatever you’re doing is definitely working~.”

Fredrick didn’t hear a response from Stella, as it seems like she was too busy caught up in Schnee’s mouth based on all the muffled moaning and soft, gasping breaths emanating from just behind him. Midnight didn’t seem to be listening out for one either, as she promptly continued on her merry journey southward, kissing and licking various trails down his stomach until she reached her prize.

Fredrick’s lustful grin might as well have spanned his entire face, and a surreal lightheadedness permeated his afflicted, corrupted mind as he internally remarked how he ended up back in such a familiar position. It wasn’t like Midnight had to go searching for his erect dick, but he was a generous human, and happily spread his legs for her to provide easy access well before she made it all the way down.

He was a gentleman, afterall. And as if Midnight had been reading his mind a little earlier, she cooed out her praise for such preemptiveness:

“Good boy~.”

Fredrick felt the most pleasant shudder worm its way up his spine from hearing those words… layered on top of peering down into those emerald eyes, atop that gorgeous face, with Midnight’s heaving, juicy tits squished elegantly between her powerful biceps. Such a shudder became inordinately powerful when Fredrick suddenly felt Midnight’s long, prehensile tongue being drawn up the entire length of his shaft…

…just once, though. And he didn’t anticipate just how good even the first lick would feel, which was why he let out a sudden, surprised moan:

“Aaa-AHH!”

Midnight’s tongue completed its singular journey up his length, and flicked itself off the tip, carrying away a large bead of precum that had formed there since they started. She clicked her tongue, and smiled, biting her lip.

She continued with her more domineeringly comforting sultriness:

“They were right… you already taste quite lovely, little human~,” she giggled. “Makes me wanna have a full load~.”

Fredrick shivered upon inhaling, and bit his lip in return while Midnight began idly, tenderly stroking his dick. Each stroke upward wrung out more and more of his pre until the head of his dick had returned to full shine and began dribbling down his length, onto Middy’s hand.

She then reached forward with her free hand to cup Fredrick’s face, and stroked her chin as she asked a rather pointed question:

“So, Fredde~... wanna get your soul sucked out through your cock?”

She batted her eyelids at him, and while there wasn’t a stone’s throw chance in hell that he’d ever say ‘no’ to that question, it wouldn’t technically have been the first time it happened. Even so, the words made his dick throb extra painfully in Midnight’s pleasantly firm grip, and he still managed a laugh, even if it quickly melted back into a pleasured groan.

“Mmmmph~... ahh—Stella’s definitely done that to me a few times~...”

Midnight licked her lips in response.

“Yeah? How about… with a little twist?”

Fredrick hadn’t the slightest idea what that was to mean, but he knew it would likely be very, very pleasurable. Regardless, he cocked an eyebrow and asked flat-out:

“Uhh… am I gonna die?”

Midnight replied coyly:

“Oh don’t worry… by the request of your gorgeous, gorgeous wife, I’ll be making sure that doesn’t happen. But first…~

She squeezed his shaft once, and quipped whilst never breaking eye-contact:

“He seems cold. How about I bundle him up~?”

Midnight then released his dick, and in one smooth motion, leaned forward and let his spire nestle comfortably in her cleavage. She wasn’t done yet, though… and with a little extra coaxing with her hands on her girls, she enveloped most of his length entirely. All that remained was his throbbing, leaky head that dribbled more and more precum down into her warm cleavage as she squeezed her tits around his dick with comfortable firmness.

The sight itself, apart from the sheer feeling, was cum-worthy, and Fredrick felt an urgent need to tow a fine line in wanting to see and immerse himself in the feeling, versus closing his eyes lest the view cause him to erupt immediately.

But apparently, Midnight wasn’t even done yet, as she further wrapped her arms around her chest as if she was giving her own tits a nice, big, bear hug… and now the tunnel in which his dick held refuge was extra tight, and further wrung out more and more of of his precum that was already loaded in the chamber. The only ‘downside’ to this was his inability to see her hard nipples anymore.

Fredrick involuntarily shuddered under Midnight’s expert control.

“O-Oh my fucking god… Midds~...” he barely managed.

The mare of his words giggled all cutesy, yet bit her lip and re-lidded her eyes as she watched every bit of him squirm… all while she began easing her entire torso up and down, forward and back. With her boobs literally held close to her chest, they slid pleasantly up and down his shaft in kind. Fredrick was privy to seeing every bit of his dick disappear entirely in her cleavage upon the up-strokes.

“Mmm, I always wondered how you’d sound moaning my name… though I must say…~”

She dipped her long tongue low again, and gave the single, daintiest lick to the underside of his head that was properly pampered in her mounds.

“...I’ve always been partial to how you’ve called me ‘Middy~.’”

True to her desire to see the human squirm under her toying, Fredrick lamented how she expertly kept her pace agonizingly perfect… perfect in that her tits squeezed pleasantly around his dick and stroking him off was the ideal amount of pleasure to get lost in, especially since he had regained control from an impending, premature explosion. However, it wasn’t nearly enough to get him back up there, even if he wanted to end this messily.

His first attempts to thrust upward and quicken the pace of her titfucking were useless, as Midnight—without ever breaking eye contact with him—simply countered him with her forearms. She braced his hips against the seat of the chair, regarding him as if she was disciplining an unruly subordinate that wouldn’t conform to what she wanted to do: simply hug his dick in her tits, and ease him into an orgasm of her choosing as she stroked him with her girls.

So enrapturing was her look, that despite how crazy she was driving him with the right amount of electrifying pleasure via her tits to just keep him in a buildup purgatory… he simply was not capable of breaking eye-contact with her for more than milliseconds at a time. As hot as it was to ‘simply’ see and feel his dick being enveloped, pampered—consumed by her huge tits… seeing and feeling them while staring into those lust-clouded, cum-addicted, cock-hungry, soon-to-be-heat-addled-eyes was the true, perfect package.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed in his fever-dream of a fantasy being fulfilled. Maybe thirty seconds at most considering nothing else in his surroundings had changed. Midnight’s husky, softer, groaning encouragement further brought him back to lucidity:

“What a good boy you’re being~,” she cooed, and began to undulate her torso a little quicker.

Fredrick twitched again, his hips attempting—also again, in vain—to quicken Midnight’s pace. It may have only been thirty seconds, or maybe a minute if he was being generous to his own endurance right now. But even then, he was already, after seemingly being held in pleasure torture for a small eternity, building up for a third, massive cumload that he could feel brewing and boiling at the base of his swollen dick.

“Ahh-AHH! Middy~,” he cried out through gritted teeth.

Another bubbly giggle from the batpony mare, and she further tested the limits of his ability to endure her teasing as she kept up her much more maternal-esque pampering voice… a voice in which she excelled and had clearly practiced, prized, and perfected:

“Mmmhmm, there we go, Fredrick~. And after I said I liked when you called me that? Such a flatterer~. Such a charmer of a good boy you have here, Stella~.”

It hurt so good when he throbbed painfully, overwhelmingly pleasurably, in the personalized, sticky, warm warren that was her cleavage. It would only take a little extra effort for him to reach the point of no return… where he could then work up to the orgasm that Midnight was way-too-slowly building him towards. In a carnal haze fueled by his desperation to cum, Fredrick attempted a different approach and reached forward with both his greedy, horny hands to grab Midnight’s tits and help her work them on him.

But alas, it wasn’t to be… and Midnight only giggled evilly, as she intercepted his hands by way of his wrists.

She playfully batted them away as she answered his actions with sympathetic words:

“Oh I know you wanna cum, little human~... you wanna just explode between my huge tits~. Naughty boy… here~. Let Mommy Middy take very good care of you now~.”

Midnight unwrapped her arms and repositioned her hands to nestle his dick in her cleavage more ‘traditionally,’ with her hands on either side of her bust. Without giving him so much as a moment to admire the view of having her nipples pointing directly at him atop her huge tits, she immediately began expertly bouncing them around him. Even more than that, Fredrick subsequently didn’t even get the chance to moan out in pleasured relief as Midnight changed up her tactic right away, once again:

Instead, she opted to alternatingly stroke her breasts around him, and the human was treated to the feel and sight of his dick metronomically tipping from side to side as she worked him. Finally, the sexy mare, apparently not satisfied with her prize moving around with the undulation of her melons, decided to keep his dick from pendulously tipping to either side with the simplest of solutions:

She hungrily captured his head in her mouth as she continued with her holy work.

His moans were treading a fine line between sexy demands and outright pleading:

“Oh my fuck… M-Middnight… please don’t stop~...”

And apparently, she took that as more of a challenge rather than an exhortation to continue just what she was doing: she played one more card she had up her sleeve… or rather, her mouth.

She let her tongue loose once again, but Fredrick’s eyes slowly widened as he watched her tongue’s incredible length wrap somewhat just under the head of his dick. He cried out in both astonishment and disbelief at how wonderful it felt when said tongue began squeezing, massaging, and essentially jerking him off whilst she resumed working her own heaving tits around him.

His world was being completely rocked. If he wasn’t feeling the firm, slimy, warm effects of all this work in tandem and then combined, he would’ve had a hard time believing what he was seeing… maybe even chalking it up to some hallucinogenic side-effects from the potions he needed to take to even sustain himself right now. Fredrick was in a complete whirlwind all the same with how wonderful it felt.

And he was sure to vocalize it:

“Oh my fucking god! MIDDY…!” he clamped his eyes shut and gritted his teeth as there was a sudden jump with how quickly he built up.

Where once he wanted to cum so explosively and reach his climax, he now wanted this indescribable feeling of being jerked off and slobbered on by her tongue while also being jerked off by her pendulous tits to last for as long as he could milk it for.

Midnight never stopped watching him, and rather sped up all her movements. She answered with a nod along with some vocal encouragement, even though her tongue was completely occupied:

“Ahhh-huhhh~”

With her forearms out of the way, Fredrick’s hips were allowed to buck erratically—desperately through Midnight’s ministrations. He didn’t care whatever fell from his mouth anymore once he finally opened his eyes, and was privy to one of the most beautiful, wondrous, aphrodisiacs of sights known to him in this world. Come cringe or high water, he had resigned himself to the fact that his third, powerful orgasm was upon him.

Where he once had Schnee begging for her release and for good reason, now Midnight held him in a not-dissimilar position. Oh how the turns tabled.

“Oh fuck… Middy I’m gonna fuckin’ explode. I’m gonna cum, baby…~”

Midnight’s eyes seemed to sparkle at the declaration, as well as use of the pet names that she had come to adore this evening. In her current predicament, she merely responded with a rather appropriately sexy, anticipating:

“Aaaaaahhh…~”

And Fredrick seeing Midnight’s continued, vigorous massaging of his length with her fat tits, her tongue snaked around his head, her hot, open, breathy mouth panting with her exertions, and her gorgeous face with those emerald eyes halfway veiled by her mane—it all came to a literal head.

The sound Fredrick emitted from the depths of his throat when he came could only barely be classified as a moan in the most generous terms. It was more like a whimpered, euphoric whine of relief as his balls emptied. His cum shot straight up vertically, with the first volley neatly draping itself over the crest of Midnight’s muzzle, much to an excited, depraved bout of lustful laughter from the mare as she continued the dutiful, slutty wringing out of his dick.

His hips bucked upward, barely under his control while Midnight’s name fell garbled from his mouth over and over again in various, weak, submissive tones.

Each successive, weaker, yet in no-way unsubstantial burst of his molten seed fell short of her face. Much of his remaining, pearlescent barrage impacted the underside of her chin, with the rest borne delightfully back to earth via gravity to splatter and strew upon the tops of her copper-coated tits, neck, and collarbone.

And all rivulets not bound to their resting place flowed straight into her pushed-up cleavage, where his dick pulsed weakly a few more times. It overflowed his head and dribbled over her waiting, curled tongue, as well as further creating a notable reservoir of cum between her tits. The light of the room glistened majestically on the now-painted and beautifully marred coat of her chest, neck, and face.

He made an absolute mess of her.

Midnight wasn’t done pampering him, it seemed: she refused to let any cum escape, and she began the methodical approach of licking every bit of it up… first cleaning his shaft until it was glistening via a coat of her own saliva, and then pulling back and hefting her tits up so she could sexily draw her tongue over the tops of her breasts, and through her creamed cleavage.

Fredrick watched all of it with rapt, if spent, attention… letting one last instance of her name fall tiredly from his mouth as she locked eyes with him again. Making sure he was watching every part of her ‘ritual,’ Midnight finished off by running an index finger over the top of her muzzle to wipe the lone, far-shot strand of his seed that made it there. She examined his white essence for all but a couple seconds before, like the rest of his ejaculate, licking it right up from between her fingers.

A couple seconds of sexy sucking on her digits later, and she pulled away fully, releasing his dick from the comfortable warren between her tits. She then cutely let out a ‘nom’ when she leaned forward to take his entire length into her mouth, deepthroating him with ease.

The sudden, almost tortured twitch that took control over Fredrick evoked a muffled giggle from the mare.

“O-oooh fuck… easy Midds… please~...” he whined.

At the tail-end of her giggle, Midnight came back up nice and slowly, doubly-making sure she got everything. He noted that the excited look in her eyes only seemed to intensify, and her desire manifesting in the form of a cum-hungry slut only fueled his elixir-assisted recovery.

She likewise cutely popped off his dick, which left him on his own to just quiver in silence. Through it all, his sensitivity was beginning to dissipate yet again, being exchanged for much more blood flow back into his shaft until he was essentially at full-mast once again. However, the fatigue his body was experiencing from just the physical exertion of their acts was a fair bit more than what he would’ve expected… and in the back of his mind, he figured he had put together exactly how at least one of the potions was working: it borrowed his body’s waking, potential energy for sexual endurance in the present.

He could get full answers from Luna another time if he was that curious over the specific machinations, though. For now, he was much more focused on when Midnight adorably opened her mouth nice and wide. Beyond her four fangs and the rest of her teeth, her tongue, and really the rest of her maw was sparkling clean, devoid of any trace of his seed.

She swallowed every bit of it. Fredrick was in no way surprised, but after the post-orgasmic show she put on, he still appreciated every bit of her efforts.

He smirked lewdly and threw a couple of her words back at her:

“Good girl~.”

Perhaps it was yet another trick of the light, but Midnight again seemed to blush under his words. Left eye halfway veiled by her now-somewhat unkempt mane, she giggled cutely and shimmied her chest again for his viewing pleasure.

Though, she remarked after clicking her tongue a couple times:

“Mmmm~... Flower Mare was right! You really do taste goooood. Stella is indeed a very, very lucky mare~.”

She began idly stroking him again… though he really didn’t need any further, ‘external’ encouragement to retain his throbbing hardness. However, Fredrick desperately felt compelled to return the favor, and without waiting for any permission, he scooched himself out from the embrace of the chair so he could sit up and properly lean forward. This, in turn, allowed him to cup Midnight’s beautiful face, regard her with grateful arousal, and then plant a tender kiss on her lips.

She eagerly accepted, though as she attempted to deepen the kiss, Fredrick had other plans, and he kissed a path over to her cheek, and then straight down to her neck. Immersing himself in her scent and feel, Fred used Midnight’s soft, shuddering hums and sighs as his guide to meander his lips down to the base of her neck… where his hunger for more had assumed more control, in which case he began licking the crook of her neck.

Like Schnee, she smelled amazing, and drawing his tongue over her skin was only partly because he liked to lick his girls… but because he genuinely hoped that he could taste more and more of her from merely how she smelled to him.

“Mmmmm~... that’ feels amazing, Freddie~,” she cooed.

Her continued stroking of his length continued in earnest, and Fredrick was happy to continue making Midnight feel as amazing as she made him feel.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… just like that~.”

If he hadn’t been hard at any point during this exchange, he was rock-solid, now! And springboarding from his resurgent arousal, Fredrick eagerly sunk his teeth into the crook of her neck, and lavished the skin in his hold with his tongue as he sucked. He was determined to leave a little present for her to remember just how well she treated him tonight. He was sure Stella wouldn’t mind, and in fact, knowing her, she’d encourage it so she could sling shit at Midnight later on in the week.

All the while, he reached forward with his right hand so he could take hold of one of her tits once again. He smirked against her neck when Midnight hummed approvingly as he cradled her melon. She then gasped softly when he began brushing her erect nipple back and forth with his thumb… and he was already salivating at the thought of getting those nubs in his mouth so he could suck them again.

All of this had gotten him rearing to go yet again, and it wasn’t long before he was coating Midnight’s diligent hand with another layer of fresh precum.

She noticed this right away, and Fredrick could’ve probably cum again just from that domineering, dommy tone of hers:

“My, my, little human boy… how eager you are tonight~. If I didn’t know for a fact that Stella planned this whole thing for us, I would’ve thought it was all… your… idea…~” she mentioned, and punctuated her last three words with firmer handstrokes.

Fredrick popped off her neck and pulled back fully so he could be face-to-face with her. He was more than happy to meet the substance of her tone with his own:

“Yeah? Well… it’s not my fault that you’re just so fuckin’ hot. Looking like this, and talking like that just makes me wanna do many, many things to you~.”

Midnight angled her head to the left, intrigued, and hummed approvingly.

“Is that so~?” she asked, then cutely placed an index finger against her lip in faux-wondering.

She wasn’t done with her rather forward questioning, though:

“You wanna fuck me, Freddie~?”

They were well-passed the point of any of this being a joke, or ‘just for the meme, bro.’ Ergo, there was zero need to hide anything:

“Yes…”

Midnight leaned forward, stroked him a little faster, and narrowed her eyes lewdly.

“Oh? Are you saying… you wanna stuff me full of that delicious cock of yours, baby~? Maybe just beat into me until I cum aaaall over it~?”

Fredrick had to give her all the credit in the world—like Stella, she knew exactly how to rile him up.

“Y-Yessssss…”

“Aaaaand, do you wanna just explode inside me on that couch over there?” she gestured with a tilt of her head.

She bared her teeth lustfully:

“Just… fill me up?

“Breed me?”

There was no more tonal adjusting between his rational mind and his horny monkey brain left:

“YESSS!”

He watched her smirk knowingly, and though the cloudy haze in her emerald eyes told him that she wanted to have her way with him right then and there, she controlled herself, if only just.

A single, gentle kiss on his lips was all she produced instead.

“Good boy~.”

From there, Fredrick watched again as Midnight released his dick, and stood up tall to leer down upon him yet again. It was a hell of a view, seeing her nude body with those gorgeous eyes peering down at him over the fronts of her large tits… and another one that he had fully intended to save to his mind’s internal ‘secure folder’ for ‘reasons,’ later. He happily accepted Midnight’s hand when she reached out to him, and she helped hoist him back onto his feet.

The surprising part of all of this was that his legs and ass still managed to work… but he could feel it deep within his muscles. He was gonna be in a lot of pain for the next couple of days.

What took his mind off that pain was seeing Stella and Schnee… apparently the former had gotten Schnee back up into a leaning position against the wall, where they continued to diligently make out. Even from the light afforded in the room, Fredrick could make out other marks on Schnee’s neck that were definitely not from him…

…and on top of all that, while their tongues and mouths wrestled and moaned, providing some delectable background noise, Fredrick noted one of Stella’s hands circling her middle finger around Schnee’s clit. And this he was able to see by virtue of Schnee having spread her legs fully for his wife like the good girl she was. He could’ve sworn he also saw some of his essence that he deposited inside her earlier, still leaking out.

God they were all so hot. He hadn’t the slightest idea of what he did to deserve this kind of pampering.

Fredrick was then dragged away, literally, when Middy wrapped her tail around his waist to properly shepherd him over towards the sofa where she had previously had her way with his wife… whatever she did to her. All the while, with Midnight knowing he was watching, Fredrick was treated to the enticing, exaggerated swaying of her hips the entire way there. With how her tail was oriented, and how long it was at the end of its length, he had a full view of her perfect, sculpted ass as it hypnotized him forward.

But more than that, he could catch a proper glimpse of how drenched she was, and noticed her fresh ‘runoff’ between her upper thighs… enough where it likely lubricated the inside of her legs through her swaying.

Perfection.

And it was a clear indicator through whatever little bit of rational thought remained, that Midnight absolutely wanted this—orders of magnitude more than he did, beyond what her natural sultriness gave away. Not that he didn’t, but he would never understand the mind of a heat-addled mare.

The extra effort she went into lavishing him with her body was her own way of just… begging for it.

With extra exaggeration in her movements, Midnight stretched out her entire body for Fredrick to ogle at whilst she leaned literally into laying down on the sofa. Now fully strewn out from hooves to arms outstretched over her head, he marveled as her gorgeous core rose and fell with her heavy, husky breathing—pure excitement in her eyes at what was to come. Her tits had separated from each other, her right pressing up against the back of the couch while the left sagged ever-so-slightly off her chest.

She was content to put on a lovely show for him, moving her hands back down to her tits to fondle and squeeze them for his viewing pleasure. He, conversely, was happy to just idly jerk himself at the sight—he was already completely re-lubricated in his own precum though. T’was a testament to just how much Midnight carnally riled him up, along with the usual deference to the concoction he drank earlier.

And as for Midnight’s own arousal, Fredrick could just read on her face how much she was enjoying every bit of attention he was giving her. She let out a shuddering, needy moan when she saw that he couldn’t even wait a moment and was stroking himself to the sight.

But, apparently her patience had worn thin by this point.

As she lay outstretched on the couch, Midnight winked at him as she then raised her right leg—still perfectly straight—all the way back towards her face, while letting her right leg and hoof fall to the floor in front of the sofa. The wholly erotic display of her prowess in flexibility also gave him a full, unobstructed view of her smooth, drenched, needy pussy in all its gorgeousness. He refused to believe that he witnessed her gorgeous, delicate-looking folds throb at this distance, but maybe his horny mind was conjuring what he wished.

Midnight bit her lip.

And as if that wasn’t possibly enough for him to venture forward, she further beckoned him in with a come-hither of her finger, while simultaneously spreading her lower lips with the fingers of her other hand.

“Now, as a wise, gorgeous Flower Mare once said…

“...Fuck me~.”

He needed no further invitation, and as if he was about to dive into a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (he was), Fredrick clumsily ambled over towards the couch. He got into position right between her legs, their orientation which put Midnight’s pussy at the perfect level with his pulsing dick. Of course he wanted to get right into her, but the position he was in gave him a full view of Midnight’s perfect, marblesque body in such a vulnerable, needy position—he wanted to savor it, and relish in every little bit of it.

He ran his left hand up the back of Midnight’s right leg that was propped up against the back of the couch, and felt how he could barely even push his fingers in with how powerful her muscles were. Nevertheless, her skin was smooth as velvet. The same could be said for her other leg, in which he was given the perfect access to her equally powerful quad, though something else much more inviting drew him in:

His eyes glinted mischievously as his right thumb went straight to Midnight’s clit, which elicited an immediate reaction in a throat-catching grasp. He watched as her hands went to her tits and massaged them while her pillow-propped head studied his face with hyper-focus. Fredrick could feel everything she was silently telling him… that he could do whatever he wanted to her as long as he made good on her demand that he fuck her.

Her previous gasp suddenly morphed into another moan as he began rubbing her clit, all while grinding the head of his dick up and down the entrance of her soaked slit. He made sure to just barely penetrate past her folds, teasing Midnight just enough that she started twitchily lifting her core up towards the ceiling in a barely conscious attempt to swallow up his cock… but if he thought he was going ‘too deep,’ he would pull back just out of her grasp.

Fredrick could see the literal sexual frustration building up on that horny, yet increasingly pouty face of hers. It was delicious. Though, he knew for a fact that she’d absolutely wrap those iron legs around him and ‘complete the circuit’ herself if she needed to. He dared not keep her waiting for long.

Thus, he lined himself up properly and remarked to her:

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Midds…~”

She giggled all cutely in response, and remarked in kind:

“Gods… even right as you’re about to stuff me full… still such a flatterer~.”

He winked down at her as he began properly sliding into her. His much more confident accent around his words came undone into more of a drawn out moan as he further spoke, and likewise further hilted himself in her:

“Hehe, something something… flattery and… ahhh… truth~...mmmmph~...”

Fredrick’s dick was completely lost from sight, claimed by Midnight’s molten depths… and he in no way wanted to start thrusting right now, or there was a very real chance of a premature end. Oh how warm she was, like the metaphysical manifestation of bundling his entire person in a warm, smooth, weighted blanket on a cold winter morning. He knew for a fact he was practically dribbling precum into her each time he throbbed painfully.

Thankfully, Midnight didn’t push him to move so soon, because she, herself, happily let loose an adorably sexy moan whilst letting her head tilt back fully on her pillow headrest.

“Fuuuuck, Freddie~...” she groaned, and her sly, lascivious look returned as she stared into his eyes carnally.

“Your cock feels so fucking good… everything I always imagined… and maybe fantasized~,” she giggled through a bitten lip.

A familiar voice called out from behind Fredrick:

“No wrong way tae fantasize, loves~. What a fuckin’ sight~.”

Fredrick likewise made his current predicament known, and the slightest hint of concern underpinned his words, lest Midnight start taking over control and bringing things to a messy end in the interim:

“Holy shit, you feel goddamn wonderful too, Middy… fuck just give me a few more seconds or you’re gonna milk me way too early,” he noted.

Her heavy breathing and narrowed eyes told him his answer… to just take as much time as he needed. She was content right now where she was, just feeling him inside her. Regardless, Midnight was content in running her hands firmly over his arms, and especially his own chest in a way that harkened back to Schnee’s thirsty adventure not too long ago.

Beyond that, he could also feel how she throbbed around him, much like he was inside her as well… though her throbbing was intense around him. It was like her pussy was trying to do everything in its power to do Midnight’s work for her, and likewise outsourced his job for the moment to just have him dump his load into her as soon as possible.

She just needed this. She needed it badly.

And with his own lusts finally overpowering his biological imperative and getting all the internal warning alarms under control, Fredrick had all the visual and physical encouragement he needed.

Thus, he pulled back slightly, earning a soft gasp from Midnight as he evacuated her about halfway, and then thrust right back into her. He raptly observed her reactions as he primarily focused on the depths of his strokes at first. With each consecutive thrust, he pulled back more and more until merely the head of his dick was still inside her, before subsequently easing himself back into her until he was fully hilted.

Midnight’s narrowed, lust-filled eyes became that much harder to gaze into as they narrowed—unevenly, at that. What cute little gasps she emitted when he either pulled out or pushed back into her were quickly supplanted by soft, comfortable groans and moans… especially as he makes sure to aim his length towards her upper wall.

Fredrick gradually picked up a little more speed… not much, but enough where he braced his left hand into the back of Midnight’s propped up leg, and allowed his other to grapple onto her left hip dip. Each and every time he dared pull out a little too far as his hips retreated, it felt like her depths were attempting to suck him right back into her, where he belonged. Of course, he was more than happy to oblige, and whenever he buried himself fully again, he reveled in how tight she could become around him.

Each thrust forward to reunite them made Midnight’s large tits bounce… and the thestral mare was happy to let her arms fall above and to her side to let her girls bounce freely as she appeared to greatly enjoy the ride. He was still hell-bent on making sure she felt every single inch of his modest length. Every inch in, every inch out.

It was further icing on the cake to see her tits jiggling by his own doing, but thankfully he was able to suppress most of his own buildup by hyperfocusing on Midnight’s own pleasure right now.

“That’s it, baby~,” she cooed, her head gingerly rocking with each of his hip bucks. “Right there~... fuck me right there, sexy~...”

All he wanted to do was hear more and more of those angelic moans and words of encouragement.

“Ahhh… Freddie~...”

And his name falling from her lips.

“Please… Mmm~ fuck me… please~... don’t you dare stop…”

And her pleas to continue.

He met her gaze with his own as he picked up to a more neutral pace:

“I’m not gonna stop, Middy~. Ahh~... Not if you’re gonna keep talking and mmm—moaning like that, baby~.

“Cuz’ I wanna hear more~.”

He punctuated his words with a rather powerful hilting, making their hips smack together and earning a rather shrill:

“AHH! Fuuuuck~...” she melted, and Fredrick picked right back up where he left off:

“I just wanna make you feel amazing, baby~.”

“Ooooh shit…~ yeah like that~... hit that spot Freddie and you’re gonna make me cum~.”

Upon hearing that, he called on a fair portion of his reserves and made sure to put his entire back, ass, and core into hammering into her just as she pleased.

“Ahhh~... like this?” he asked, and sped up the pace of his hips cycling. Further, he dug his fingers into her inner thigh.

Her hips seemed to lift on their own accord, and what was once visible of her emerald eyes through the veil of her now-unkempt, golden mane were shut completely as she fully lay back.

“YES! YES LIKE THAT!” she exclaimed. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck… I’m ah~! I’m gonna cum I’m gonna—”

She grit her teeth, and Fredrick felt it immediately.

“C-Cumming…~!”

She squeezed around him hard enough that she actually straight-up pushed him out of her, and Fredrick was more than happy for the slight reprieve to just massage his length against her orgasming slit… which further earned him some twitchy, bucking reactions from Midnight as she rode out her first orgasm with him.

It was also a glorious sight watching her maul her own tits while she gently writhed.

“A-Ahhhhnnn~, yessss~...” she hissed as she quickly calmed down.

Once she stopped reacting so strongly to his grinding, that’s when Fredrick slid right back into her and continued fucking her. This time he kept himself mostly buried even as he thrust, and focused more on frequency and persistence rather than depth and power, as he figured that since she had already just cum, she’d be much more sensitive to more.

And this easier speed allowed him to just feel more of her for himself, and he happily let his hands roam more of her rock-hard tummy, and then up to her bouncing tits to give her another pair of hands on them. Fredrick further mediated his pace a smidge, as his dick was in absolute heaven right now, being pampered by her pussy in a way he couldn’t rightly describe, other than the familiar, electric buildup that was making itself known at his base.

He couldn’t resist any longer, and he leaned over and onto her to properly smash his lips against hers.

While this cut off her overt moaning, she still giggled and happily accepted him into her mouth, which initiated the sloppiest, tongue-filled makeout he had this evening. Her now-muffled moans and exhortations fell into his mouth when their lips were sealed together, only fully loosed when they separated for air, but kept their tongues dutifully tangled together.

All the while their intense makeout and fucking combination continued, Fredrick further melted into her as one of Midnight’s hands stroked his face oh-so affectionately—protectively, even, as she further ran the fingers of her other hand through his hair.

By the time he needed to fully separate from Midnight for proper gulps of air to fuel his continued beating into her, Midnight’s eyes glinted lewdly. In a move reminiscent to the first night Stella and him got properly intimate, Midnight drew the entire flat of her long tongue up his cheek and to the side, only culminating its journey when her tongue’s tip flicked the end of his earlobe.

Fredrick shuddered, which faltered his pace somewhat.

“Fuuuuck~...” he groaned, and promptly made up for it with three deeper, faster thrusts into her.

He felt her cum again, though definitely not as hard as the first time by any measure.

“Ahhh-aahh, hah~! Fuuuck yes, Freddie~,” came her husky retort once she rode it out.

He pulled his dick back just a bit to give it a little time to recoup its stamina. He had a feeling that this was the end-stretch, as he had no confidence to keep the dam from bursting the next time it reached a critical point.

“My name sounds sexy as fuck when you say it like that~,” cooed Fredrick.

Midnight licked her lips and batted her eyelashes up at him.

“Mmmm~. Guess you’ll just need to make me say it, or scream it, more~. Because I want more… make me cum again, Freddie~, please?”

He’d never be able to deny that.

“Fuck yes, Middy~. Especially if you say it like that!”

The impish look in her eyes returned.

“Though also with one extra little condition…~.”

He cocked an eyebrow, smirking.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“I want you to cum when, or after I do, too~... and when you do, I want you to say my name as well, mkay~?”

His dick practically answered for him when he twitched and throbbed painfully inside her. Nevertheless, he properly responded with words:

“Yes Middy~.”

She produced a rather fangy grin, and her next words instructed him to reply differently, or perhaps, the nigh-pleading undertone of her words belied such an order:

“Hehe, ‘Yes… mommy.’”

Fredrick’s eyes widened slightly. Clearly this was something she was into, if the giggling, borderline cackling, behind him from both the mares behind him was anything to go by. But he sure as shit wasn’t gonna make fun of her or shame her for it while his dick was buried inside her, begging for what was amounting to be his final, most powerful release of the night.

And as the microseconds went by, in a way, the pet name in the heat of the moment was kinda growing on him, too.

He angled his face and winked.

“Yes mommy~,” he replied.

Midnight shuddered subtly under him, and her eyelids again lowered, supercharged with lust.

“Good boy~.

“Now then…” her voice dipped down lower just above a whisper as she bored into his eyes with her own.

“Keep fucking me, Freddie~... and don’t you dare stop until you shoot it deep inside me~.”

The last syllable of her words barely left her mouth before Fredrick had rekindled the engine in his hips. Right away, he was already picking up to a much faster pace, again angling towards the upper edge of her pussy in an attempt to keep his desperately horny movements from derailing his composure and precision. Their hips were slapping together much more audibly, to the point that he would likely be the one with bruises there in the morning from beating up against the pure muscle of Midnight’s ass.

He kept a hand squarely planted on the back of her propped-up knee, pushing it back towards her chest, while the other one helped her maul one of her tits. Specifically, he indulged in pinching, rolling, and tugging at her nipple at odd frequencies.

Especially when he tugged on it.

“AHHNN!” she cried out, but quickly regained her feral composure.

She glared at him lewdly, a lecherously wide smile on her face which bore her fangs to prominence. Fredrick met said smile with one of his own… one he could not hope to suppress when she mouthed huskily:

“Yes… ahhh~... keep fucking me… like that…~”

“Yeah? Mmmph~, like this, baby?”

He slammed into her a little harder than the rest of his cadence up to this point, earning himself a throatier groan, yet no change in her expression.

“Yesss~... just like that! Ahhh! Freddie… making me feel so—fu-UCKING—wonderful~...”

His lips slackened a bit as his pleasure boiled over somewhat, though he got it under some semblance of control… for now.

“God, you too, Middy~... feels so fuckin’ good, sexy~.”

She batted her eyelashes at him again, and though her mouth slackened to let out more moans that were much higher and higher in pitch and frequency, Fredrick still saw that lustfully enamored sparkle in her eyes. He knew well that it was entirely because of him using her favorite pet name… but her ‘silent’ acknowledgement was all the more powerful when he was watching his entire shaft disappearing into her cunt with each and every stroke… and seemingly emerging drenched and wetter thereafter.

Seeing the sheen on her inner thighs as a result of his actions as well further propelled him forward… knowing that she wasn’t just saying what she was to make him feel good about himself (as if she ever would do such a thing).

Fredrick altered his hold on her legs, reluctantly releasing her tit to let it bounce freely with its counterpart as he continued thrusting into her. Honoring Midnight’s request to keep fucking her until his end, he diligently kept up a pace that allowed his orgasm to build up… though at the same time, he wanted to see if he could make her cum one more time before—or while—he did. He had a couple ideas to bring this about…

Though what was constant were his thrusts becoming more and more erratic as his end approached. Like with Schnee before him, his and Midnight’s moans competed with one another as there was little need to be hinged to propriety in their act. If anything, the neighbors could know that some wild stuff happened here.

Fredrick, on one particular stroke, angled his dick much farther upward than he had before. Midnight gasped, moaned, and craned her neck backward in that order in what appeared to be an effort to just immerse herself in what he was doing to her. In her doing so, Fredrick was presented with a most golden opportunity, and he immediately seized on it:

Pushing her leg back even more which further angled her pussy upward, Fredrick got himself into a half-mating press position atop of her… which certainly elicited wide eyes and a pleasantly surprised, if startled:

“OOH FUCK! AHH! YESSS FREDDIE—”

He ‘shut her up’ when he further was in perfect position to descend upon her exposed neck, and made sure to stuff his face right into the crook where he could sink his teeth into her taut skin. Meanwhile, he re-summited the peak of her huge tit and pinched her nipple hard…

All while resuming the sweaty, muscle-incinerating train on this particular line to pound town.

And to his surprise, he felt Midnight pulse around his dick, and her pussy pushed him fully out of her as she once again raised her hips and came with an angelic moan that caught halfway in her throat.

“C-CUMMING! Oh fuck Fredrick I’m… f-fucking…”

From the moment Fredrick felt her slit’s embrace tighten familiarly though, he had realigned himself with precision where once he was forced out of her, he was able to literally dive right back in and continue fucking her.

He giggled maniacally, and pulled back from her neck to get a look at that gorgeous face of hers—Midnight’s eyes were no longer focusing on him… or anything in particular as her mouth hung open, moans and random words waterfalling off her lolled tongue. They were desperate, needy, and fatigued in all the best ways.

“Yessss~... I l love when you cum for me Middy~.”

And he never stopped—it was her request, one that she was happy to affirm in a barely coherent way as he continued claiming her to sate his own biological need.

“Ahhhnn~... I’m still… I’ve been—cum-ming… fuck me~... AH-haaaahh… cummmmm…

“Pound my… oh fuck… oh fuck~... my slutty pussy~...”

Those words marinated his brain, which was on the verge of being liquified as hers was presently. Hearing her say it like that… so incoherently but still coherent enough to tell him what she wanted. He put all the remaining energy he had into now focusing on his own feeling, and only his own feeling, which was on the precipice of his end. He felt how slick her pussy was, as it still grasped for him and occasionally pulsed and tightened as Midnight’s orgasm continued… though to him, it felt like she was trying to milk him for everything he had left. Extract what seed he could still produce that she had rightly earned.

“Oh shit… Mid-dy…~” he barely managed as he hit the end of the line.

Fredrick could already feel how much he was about to shoot into her, and he didn’t need to finish his sentence—he couldn’t. All he could do was bury his face in her neck once more as he was about to throw himself over the edge.

Midnight, even in her state, understood everything, and in hindsight, Fredrick shouldn’t’ve been stunned by the encouragement she huskily moaned into the fringes of his ear:

“Cum for mommy, baby~...

“Breed… me~.”

And yet, just like before when he played into it, her words—filled with incalculable lust—stunned him as he immediately felt his dick swell, and pulse. Upon hilting fully into her one more time, Fredrick explosively erupted into her depths.

He wasn’t sure if he cried out her name through his teeth as he twitched with every pulse… and he wasn’t sure if Midnight was echoing his name in return. All that he was really sure of was being embraced by this mare while, with every powerful, nearly painful pulse of his dick, he unloaded and shot more and more of his gargantuan load into her womb. Just like when it felt like he was melting inside Schnee, he could practically feel his dick atomizing and liquefying within Midnight’s depths.

If he looked down upon pulling out and saw a shriveled, shrimpy shell of a husk of what was once his modest length, at this point in time, he’d probably accept that with how powerful this orgasm was.

And when the literal buckets-feeling cum injection finally ebbed, slowed, and finally died down to a trickle of what remained, Fredrick felt all tension leave his body. Though he could feel the potion effects on him as he had come to expect, it was working in such a way that seemed to confirm what he had originally thought about them.

Fatigue washed over him like a tidal wave after a massive earthquake, and left him feeling like he had expended actual life force to help quell the actual and impending heat of both these mares. Fredrick only hoped he did an adequate enough job. He could tangibly feel his muscles relaxing, his mind going blank, and pure accomplished euphoria bathing his entire body.

His body was done. There would be no more lewdness for him tonight… though he could definitely hear Schnee and Stella getting up to something hotter than he found them previously.

Fredrick chuckled. They were welcome to still have their fun.

But for him, he was content to just rest atop the larger mare, wrapped up in her strong, secure embrace, and keep his face nuzzled under her chin. He remained buried inside her, keeping her nice and full all the while, which she seemed to appreciate if her gentle coos were to be taken as they were.

Warm. Comfy. Cozy.

And the last thing he remembered hearing before he realized he drifted off completely was:

“Good boy~.”

Fredrick’s eyes did not want to open, but his mind had gently pulled him away from the grasp of one of the deepest sleeps he ever had the pleasure of experiencing. And that meant that he wasn’t gonna get the privilege to resume it.

Upon opening his eyes and staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, cradled by unfamiliar bedsheets, his eyes shot open at not recognizing his immediate surroundings. He propped himself up on his elbows curiously, though what little adrenaline from not knowing wore off immediately. He was met by sights of Schnee’s own pictures, her flowers, and various Alemaneian decor hanging on the walls and covering the tops of her furniture… he was in her room.

And in glancing around, he was alone… though he could clearly see the indentations and telltale signs of use in the bed. It was apparent that he didn’t sleep alone last night.

He had no idea when they all decided to sleep last night. Hell, he didn’t even remember laying down here, himself. One moment, he was balls-deep in Midnight, corking her up after emptying life force-levels of cum inside her… and now, here he was, having awoken in Schnee’s bed. He remembered all the details of last night, and a gentle blush overtook his face at just how animalistic they all became with each other.

Speaking of ‘each other,’ he again regarded the empty room. The light coming in through the gaps of drawn curtains told him it was at least mid-morning… likely the early afternoon, considering how late they all got up to activities last night. He thought he could hear some chit-chat in the living room or the kitchen, so they were likely up well-before him. It was probably a good idea to go join them, he figured.

Fredrick swung his legs over the side of the bed, and that’s when he realized just how sore his entire body was. He actually had to gasp with how stiff his legs and ass were, specifically, with special supporting roles going to his core and chest. Shaking them out a bit helped restore some easier movement, but as he stood up and started trudging towards the door, he knew that he wouldn’t be in any condition to work out for at least a couple days, and possibly longer.

That’s when he also realized that he was in the sleeping shirt and shorts he brought with him to Ponyville. Puzzled, he didn’t remember putting those on at all, either.

He shrugged. He had a few ideas how it all worked out.

Fredrick left Schnee’s room and silently waddled out into the hall, and as he drew closer to the foyer, he realized that yes, he could indeed hear some animated conversation. He then groggily rounded the corner, though his demeanor improved immediately when he saw the scene.

He smiled brightly.

All were dressed casually, still in some loose-fitting, comfy, sleeping clothes that bore varying amounts of their shoulders and midriffs to him. All had barely-kempt manes, and all seemed well-rested and just beaming radiantly amongst each other. They were socializing as friends would, with nary a shred of awkwardness hanging amongst the delicious aroma of cooking potatoes.

That’s when Stella, the first to notice him, and Midnight glanced over towards him from the dining table. Likewise, Schnee angled her gaze over from the stove.

Stella greeted boisterously:

“Mornin’, love! Or rather… fuckin’ afternoon! Fuckin’ sleepy-headass!”

Midnight greeted him in a much more ‘Midnight-esque’ fashion, but there was a distinct lack of the previous night’s overt horniness in her words:

“Hey there, Freddie~! What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Schneeblume cheekily springboarded off of that:

“I already told you I was cooking potatoes, Midnight,” she giggled, then addressed Fredrick properly with a lovely-accented, jubilant, sing-song:

“Good afternoon, handsome! Potatoes and hay sausages are finishing up! Eggs as well!”

She gestured to the table:

“Have a seat! Food’s almost ready! Midnight? Can you help me serve?”

“Sure thing, Little Flower,” replied Midnight, and got to her hooves to assist.

Fredrick, smirking ear-to-ear, nodded to her and took his place on Stella’s right. He guessed that she must’ve been right about their heats, because everyone seemed to have completely calmed down now.

And that let him turn his attention to his gorgeous wife:

“Afternoon to y’all, too! And especially you~,” he said, punctuating with a proper kiss on her lips, which Stella graciously accepted.

She even threw herself in for a close embrace, and Fredrick was more than happy to hold her, as he got to see her smiling widely up at him with those sparkling, golden pools that reflected all the afternoon light. Fredrick nuzzled the tip of her nose with his.

“Hehe, oi again, love~. Ya fuckin’ sappy cunt, ye.”

Fredrick didn’t get the chance to rise to that, as both Schnee and Midnight returned with two plates each… all of which contained hot food for everyone. All were served in one fluid, combined motion from the two standing mares, though Fredrick got something extra on top of his piping hot breakfast plate:

In seemingly one final ‘takeaway’ from the previous night, Schnee pecked his left cheek as she passed by. And almost immediately after when Midnight made her way to her seat, she did exactly the same.

Fredrick could feel the warmth in his cheeks rising again as they colored quite visibly in the light, which earned more than a few giggles from all the mares. But in dwelling on those gentle, passing kisses, he could sense no lewdness, no indulgent teasing… hell, not even a hint of something inappropriate. All he could feel was gratitude in its purest form, and a reaffirmation of everything they all had together.

And just like that, any potential tension that could have arisen in the room based on the previous night’s activities seemed to disappear like the steam floating from atop the food.

Everything was ‘normal’ and right with the world… as ‘normal’ as any of his life here in Equestria could be considered, at least.

Schnee brought him out of his stupor:

“Alright, Lieben! Dig in!”

“Thanks, Schnee!”

Though before he had a chance to make good on her orders, he felt Stella lean in close. She whispered:

“Remember lad… yer aaaaall mine when we get back home, aye? I want that fuckin’ piston of a dick all tae m’self again~,” she teased.

He regarded her with a fond, lopsided smile as he brought her in for another love-filled kiss—one of likely many for today.

“I’d love it no other way, babe~.

“Now… let’s eat!”

1. Life Happens

Author's Note

Oh boy, here we go! This is it, lads!

I would just like to go on the record and say that first chapters are usually the hardest for me, as it was in this case. After this, with intros out of the way, things should be much smoother.

So, without further ado, strap in! Cuz it's about to get weird!

1. Life Happens

The door to one of Canterlot’s most well-known taverns, The Stalactite, swung outward, and a gentle gust from the night air whooshed in as a lone figure entered into the establishment.

The stairway leading downward into the main drinking and dining hall was pitch black, but that was no cause for concern. Batponies had a knack for seeing particularly well in the darkness… and the mare’s golden eyes becoming that much more radiant further corroborated this.

A small trek downward and said mare’s form was bathed in a gentle, violet light that seemed to emanate from strategically-placed light fixtures within the rock walls themselves. Light and shadow was left in a perfect equilibrium throughout the main room.

Taking a deep breath and sighing out blissfully, the thestral mare took in her ‘kingdom.’ This was her favorite place to meet with friends, pass the time before guard shifts, and ultimately get pissed-drunk at her leisure. She let her eyes roam briefly over the scene. To her all was as it should have been: massive, long bar on the far right, tables of variable size in the center, and booths on the far left for those who would prefer a little bit more intimate setting. All filled to capacity. The air was crisp and dry, yet heavy, reminiscent of the Northern Mountains that she hailed from and serving to add to her already nostalgic, confident, and pristine-white grin.

As the light shone over more and more of her body, her coat was a discernable gray… but at just the right angles, a trick of the eye revealed the slightest reflection of blue. A perfect complement to her navy-blue mane and tail. Her physique projected an air of pique physical shape, sculpted and honed within the crucible of intense military training and further adding to her innate beauty and intimidation factor.

After flaring out and stretching her wingspan once, she folded said appendages neatly behind her back. She adjusted her indigo v-neck t-shirt, and set off with a purpose into the crowded, exuberant dining area.

She fumbled with her Lunar Guard badge, one which read ‘Stella Sabre’ as her name and ‘Corporal’ as her rank emblazoned on a small silver plate. It stayed in her left pocket of her black denim pants where it belonged; she had little intention of getting a stern rollicking from her Commanding Officer for losing her badge tonight.

Her brisk walk slowed to a gentle stroll, one hoof in front of the other, as she passed between crowded tables full of drink and vigor. She would set her hands stealthily on others’ chairs as she navigated the sea of ponies, patrons not caring in the slightest of their surroundings. She fixed her ponytail and ensured all hair of her mane was well behaved. She then clicked her tongue three times in a very specific manner.

Not a few moments later, three identical ‘clicks’ sounded, and her ears twitched in the offending direction. Her echolocation successful, Stella smirked and set off to a table almost directly in the center, where another batpony was already comfortably situated. This one, however, was dressed stark-differently by virtue of the Canterlot Police Department uniform she wore.

A thestral from Hollow Shades, the mare in question sported a short, crimson, forward-swept mane that was neatly combed, meshed well with her naturally resting-stoicism. She held an air of authority. Being half again Stella’s age placed her at the butt of many of the former’s jokes about ‘age before beauty.’ Golden eyes, similar to Stella’s, complemented her gray coat.

“Hey, poof!” Stella greeted in her iconic Northern Equestrian Mountain accent.

She unceremoniously pulled back her seat and plopped her butt down. Scooting herself in, she locked eyes with one of her best friends, Moral Highground.

Highground shot her younger best friend a half-smirk at her arrival.

“How’s it goin’, Stella?” Highground replied.

She took a quick swig of her water and leaned forward, placing her arms on the table.

“Pretty good, actually!” the accented mare answered.

She crossed her legs and reclined back in her chair. Stella took another breath to follow up, but a waitress was immediately upon them.

“Can I get you a refill, officer?” the waitress asked.

The batpony smiled as she offered the water pitcher in her grasp. She then glanced over at Stella with polite obligation.

“And hi there! Can I get you anything too?”

Highground, however, intercepted the question.

“Thank you, and to your second question, get her whatever she wants; tab’s on me tonight,” she answered on both of their behalfs.

At her last assertion, Stella shot her best friend an irritated glare.

“Eat my fuckin’ minge, ya uniformed tosser! You paid last week!” she protested with extra emphasis on the more colorful words.

The waitress blinked hard and recoiled. Highground, however, was unfazed. Without changing her stoic look, she shifted her glance from her friend back to the waitress.

“Yeah, tab’s on me. Whatever she wants.”

Stella threw her hands into the air exasperatedly before huffing once through pursed lips, finally acquiescing. All the while, she mentally went through a list of ways to possibly kill her friend without being framed for homicide. Unfortunately, none of her options ended without at least getting dishonorably discharged from the Guard, so Highground’s demise would have to be put on hold indefinitely.

“Northern Cream,” she grumbled. “And a side of the wild-berry mix, please.”

“You got it, hun,” replied the waitress with a smile and a tilt of her head.

And with that, she was off.

Stella draped her right arm over the back of her chair, further relaxing into her position. Even so, her irritated glare remained, and she gestured appropriately to Highground.

“What the fuck, HG? We agreed on a back-and-forth,” she pointed out.

Highground attempted to stifle an impending giggle but to only some avail.

“We did,” she admitted plainly, taking a sip of her refilled water. She set it back on the table and leaned back in her chair, the pure definition of ‘stoic smugness’ etching itself into her features.

“I’m just choosing to ignore it.”

Stella nodded, her face bearing the look of somepony clearly unconvinced by the argument presented.

“Oh this is just you pullin’ some hyped-up, fuckin’ copper power trip government bullshit… just to annoy me because I can’t punch you in the face!” she surmised so succinctly, spitting out any word that might’ve come to her head to adequately describe her friend.

Highground suddenly leaned forward.

“Hey!” she said curtly, pointing straight at Stella’s face. “Respect your elders, you disgraceful, mouthy skank.”

Stella rolled her eyes, blowing an errant strand of hair out of her face. She refocused back on her friend with a cocked eyebrow.

“Oh please, my eld—you’re not my fuckin’ elder! You’re a pair of saggy flaps with a gun, and a tight uniform that makes ya look like a fuckin’ ponce,” Stella shot back without much thought.

She smiled cheekily at her words, and Highground chuckled and returned the gesture in earnest while nodding approvingly.

Such was quintessential banter between the two.

“That was actually pretty good,” Highground admitted, scooting her chair in.

The waitress returned with Stella’s drink and snack, setting them down in front of her. The guardsmare shot her a sideways smirk.

“Cheers, love,” she said. The waitress smiled back, nodded, and mosied off deeper into the sea of ponies.

“So, how’ve you been these past two weeks?” Highground asked, reigniting conversation as she, too, reclined in her chair.

Stella only shrugged indifferently.

“Nothin’ out of the ordinary with me. But…” she then leaned in, shifting her eyes twice before focusing back on her friend. Her voice dropped to just above a whisper to ask a question that she already knew the answer to.

“Want a wee bit of confidential gossip?”

Highground huffed, jokingly bobbing her head and mulling it over before replying.

“Sure! Whaddya got for me?” she asked, placing her forearms back on the table and leaning forward in kind.

Stella immediately initiated storytelling mode with a bright smile.

“Okay, so. A week and a half ago, the entire guard unit was quietly mobilized, and we locked down the whole fuckin’ castle. We needed everypony on station just in case, so, yours truly was given the honor of waking up the Sols…”

“Oh?” Highground asked, then continued knowingly. “Bet you enjoyed that.”

Stella smiled her trademark, toothy, tell-all smile… the physical manifestation of her unique personality summed up by one facial expression.

“You know me too well, HG,” Stella confirmed, giggling as she recalled the next memory. “I used six blank rounds. That woke ‘em up pretty fuckin’ good, mate.”

Highground also took part in the merriment, genuinely laughing at the thought of something Stella would actually do.

Having known her for as long as she did, she knew full-well just how eccentric and downright insane her friend could get. While Stella’s personality had gotten the two of them into more shenanigans than Highground would care to admit as a peace officer, she would concede fully that Stella was truly a mare of merit and mettle… one whom they could trust with their life.

“Have you ever wondered why nopony likes you?” the CPD officer asked, leaning her cheek against her fist.

Stella popped a couple strawberries in her mouth, and quickly washed them down with her beer.

“The fuck’re you talkin’ about? Ponies love me!” she countered unconvincingly, gesturing grandly to herself. “Think of me as an onion…”

“An… onion?” Highground questioned, curious as to where this was possibly gonna go.

“Aye! A really fuckin’ hot and sexy onion, mind you… but an onion! Personality-wise I don’t seem all that appealing at first. But, as you peel back layer after layer of me… nah mate, actually you’ll find the same exact shite and you’ll start crying,” the guardsmare jested.

Highground’s expression never changed.

“Uh huh. Well, that was a total waste of fifteen seconds of my life… but okay. Go on,” she bade Stella to continue.

“Right! So…” the guardsmare began anew. “We get to our positions and stand guard like we’re supposed to. This went on for two hours before we knew anything. According to my CO, however, it turns out the Princesses cocked up.”

Highground blinked once.

“They ‘cocked up?’” she asked, curious at Stella’s word usage.

“Aye, they cocked up.”

It was moments like this that Highground lived for… the opportunity to fuck with Stella and just generally annoy her. Like any close friends, the two would dump on each other on for multitude of things. One such thing was Stella’s speech, and general way of talking.

This was her time to shine, and as such, she raised a lone eyebrow.

“They… got erections?”

“Aye! Wait… fuckin’ what?!” Stella suddenly changed tune when Highground’s words finally processed.

It was only too late that the uppity guardsmare realized what her friend was up to… and Highground promptly continued.

“I mean, if they’re popping stiffies in the middle of the throne room, yeah, I could probably see why this is all confidential now,” she mused.

The right side of Stella’s lips curled up devilishly.

“Oh ho ho, you’re so very fuckin’ witty, mate. It’s a mite shame you don’t have a coltfriend to appreciate yer wonderful sense of humor,” she shot back, emphasizing her second sentence with a faux-innocence only one with a Master’s degree in Banter could muster.

Highground loosed another chuckle, calling it a success that she managed to get a rise out of her friend. Still, she had no counter-rebuttal to offer in return, so she opted to let her continue.

And continue Stella did…

…after chugging the rest of her drink.

“Ahh…” she cooed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Anyway, it turns out, in whatever magical orgy voodoo fuckery the princesses were trying to do… they summoned something! Another being!” she exclaimed.

The officer recoiled lightly, and her jaw slackened as her right eyebrow remained prominently cocked.

“…They what?”

“I know right?”

“So… what did they ‘summon’ exactly?” the cop asked, feeling that was the most appropriate question to follow up with.

Unfortunately for her, Stella only shrugged.

“Shit if I know. I didn’t get to see a damn thing. None of us did… all we heard was that it walked on two legs like us,” she recollected. “After two hours of standing around—armed to the teeth—with our thumbs up our cunts, the princesses and our commanders told the Sols to fuck off back to their barracks, and for us Lunars to resume our standard patrols.”

Stella went to take another sip of her beer, but she pouted upon seeing (and subsequently remembering) that she had shotgunned the rest of it not even a minute ago. She set her glass aside and looked back to Highground, gesturing indifferently.

“Like it never even happened. Things’ve been pretty normal since then, but I think things may get a bit more interesting in the near future, considering it’s healthy enough and safe to stay in the castle as pretty much a guest. Tonight.”

“Yeah?” Highground asked. A stoic, yet subtly impish grin of her own signaled even more of the impending cheek about to exit her maw.

“Excited about your prospects with this new creature to end your dry spell?”

“Oh yes, of course. That’s exactly right,” Stella replied, sarcasm dripping from her every word.

“Well, you might have to try a bit harder,” Highground continued, her expression changing little. “I mean… have you heard yourself? I don’t even think an otherworldly creature’s gonna wanna hear that raspy accent moaning.”

Stella huffed, rolling her eyes and reclining back in her chair. Her smile quickly morphed from unimpressed to smug, and she pointed emphatically at her friend.

“That’s some pretty weak banter coming from somepony whose mane’s stained the color of her own period blood,” she riposted.

“Hey, when I said my mane was ‘all natural,’ I really meant it,” Highground counter-quipped with a rather contained smile of her own, running her fingers through her mane and waggling her eyebrows.

Even for the mighty Lunar guardsmare, the implication was too much for her to not cringe and shudder.

“Uchh! You probably do do that ya old, right scabby fuckin’ cunt, you,” Stella said, shuddering one last time for good measure. “Why all the younger colts an’ mares wanna saddle up on you is beyond my comprehension. Fuckin’ bollocks, mate.”

The gentlest breeze graced both friends’ faces, imparting a soft reprieve of cool air and signaling the entrance of somepony else into the establishment. At that moment, a group of three, exuberant batpony colts seemingly no older than twenty or twenty-one made their entrance. The sounds of their excited, over-the-top mannerisms and less-than-appropriate volume levels fit right into the general atmosphere of the tavern.

As fortune would have it, the three noisily brushed by Stella’s and Highground’s table… with one of the colts shooting the latter a wandering gaze up her form while he passed. He smirked coyly as he continued on toward the end of the bar proper with his friends.

All of this transpired much to Stella’s chagrin, and Highground made well to rub it in, sporting a cocked eyebrow and quite the smug expression.

“You were saying?”

Stella popped the last few bits of fruit into her mouth with a deadpan, shoving the tray away from her.

“Fuck off.”

After a comfortable silence, the two shared in some mutual chuckling and moved onto more conventional topics among close friends, such as work, family, and love life. Neither were particularly interesting for either party, for reasons both known and kept to oneself, but such was life for two pretty ponies who were committed to their jobs… though surprisingly, Stella was quite the workaholic despite the image she would routinely project.

Stella, despite her headstrong, outgoing, and borderline abrasive personality, was still a mare of order and discipline. This was especially true when it came to her job as a guard… a job that some might say she took a little too seriously in most respects. Matters military were of utmost importance and priority for her, all thanks to her upbringing and eventual career choice.

This topic would inevitably come up in conversation the moment someone asked her what her life prospects were. She wished to go to college and study political science, but at the same time, she wished for no financial burden on her family.

So, Stella enlisted in the Equestrian Army the minute she turned eighteen, following a small family ‘lineage’ of sorts among the Sabre batpony name. She served first in an infantry division as a recruit and eventually worked her way up the lower peon ranks. By the time she transferred to a more elite ground unit as a recognized soldier, she would see some rotation in and out of the badlands for border patrols.

Eventually, she would work her way up to a Corporal, with more than a few weapon mastery commendations under her belt. All of this was enough to apply and get immediately accepted into a prestigious and coveted Lunar Guard position, and she ended up staying there.

The rest was history.

“…and if he’s gonna be a fuckin’ dickhead about it, then he can piss off,” Stella finished her two cents on one of Highground’s potential future problems.

The CPD officer seemed inclined to agree with her best friend’s rather simple, if effective advice.

“Yeah, I guess so. I’ll update you as shit progresses. Either way, we should probably head out,” Highground said, stretching her arms out and adjusting the lapels of her uniform before glancing over at the bill. She left more than enough bits to cover their tiny outing.

Stella reached for her left pocket.

“Look, can I just leave the—”

“No.”

And the guardsmare retracted her hand, laying it back on the table while pouting.

“Fiiiiiine.”

Before either of them could stand up to leave, however, a third presence was sensed to the right of their table. Both mares turned and looked up to find the same, young colt from earlier, though having separated from his group. His face played host to the confidence of a thousand stallions greater than he.

Through the sudden, pregnant silence that was upon them, Stella was able to process his basic appearance: dark-gray to the coat, unkempt but stylish orange mane, fairly typical t-shirt and shorts, and identically orange eyes. His features were quite soft, indicating readily apparent youth.

And if Stella was being honest with herself, after that brief look-over, she concluded that he was decent looking… just certainly younger than her by at least four years.

Both mares raised an expectant eyebrow at his presence.

“Hi officer, umm…” the stallion glanced back toward his friends, who were animatedly urging him onward. He continued, but suddenly decided the back of his neck needed to be scratched at that very moment.

“I know this is random but, uhhh… I thought you were really pretty, and I-I was wondering if…” he uttered, but his confidence waned and dropped precipitously under Highground’s stoic gaze.

He was doing so well, too. His friends all collectively facepalmed.

Highground, however, only shot a look towards Stella, who gestured back to her in such a way that said ‘go right ahead, this is your problem.’

“Gotta hand it to you,” the officer finally spoke, giving the formerly brash stallion’s body a single once-over. “You’ve got balls coming up to a cop and hitting on them… but sorry to say, it ain’t gonna happen. I’m flattered, but like twice your age, kid.”

Stella bobbed her head thoughtfully at her friend’s words, averting her gaze as she zoned out momentarily.

Hm. At least she let him down softly.

Understandably, the newcomer’s features sank slightly, but he immediately bounced back to cover that up.

“Ah… okay then. Well, how about you?” he suddenly asked Stella, harshly drawing her out of her pensive stupor.

She returned unto him a look of pure incredulity.

“Wait… wah?” she dared to ask. Her entire thought process came to a momentary, if screeching halt. Even Highground counted herself surprised at the sudden about-face.

“Yeah, could I buy you a drink?” he asked nonchalantly with oodles more confidence this time… apparently the uniform made all the difference in his eyes.

Stella, however, was less than amused.

“Ummm… I don’t think it works that way when you’re stuttering to ask a mare’s friend out, and then you, immediately after, ask her,” she pointed out, cocking her trademark right eyebrow.

The nameless stallion’s gaze never faltered from hers, and in fact, began to mimic her own.

“So… the answer’s no?”

The guardsmare’s look immediately soured, and she stared him down as if she was offered the shittiest alcohol possible. In her opinion, that was probably the worst comment of them all.

“…the fuck are you on about??” she raised her voice.

“Oh… I umm I-I didn’t…” the stallion stuttered even worse than before. His sudden burst of confidence was skillfully murdered under Stella’s moderate ire.

Highground only watched the situation unfold with mild, visible amusement. On the inside, however, she enjoyed seeing Stella’s impending wrath expand exponentially in proportion with the stupidity of outside actors.

As for the mare in question, Stella planted her left hand on the tabletop and leaned forward, threatening to rise out of her seat. She had no intention to cause a scene (yet) over some stupid pony, so she opted to keep her tone at current level.

“Fuck right off back to the bar, or I’ll stuff your tail up yer ass,” she stated with a tilt of her head towards his friends.

The offending stallion’s hooves could not carry him faster.

Stella looked back to Highground, who had yet another smug look on her face… or smug relative to her normal expressions, which often ranged from angry, to stoic, to more stoic.

“Whaaat?” Stella asked, confounded.

Highground only shook her head, chuckling.

“Nothing at all.”

“Alright then. Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Stella suggested, though said suggestion had already been mutually agreed upon.

“Yep.”

Highground stood up along with Stella, and the two wormed their way through all the patrons and out the door. There, both mares were graced with the cooler night air once again, a pleasant feeling after being down in the increasingly stuffy tavern for a little while.

Both police officer and royal guard took simultaneous deep breaths and exhaled, facing each other. They immediately threw themselves into a hard embrace, chuckles all around as they held each other for a few moments.

“Toss me a note in the post when you’re free next,” Stella said, to which Highground responded with a single nod.

The guardsmare, however, had a few extra parting words for her good friend.

“Oh, and as always, be safe and try not to die, you fuckin’ slag,” Stella added with a chuckle, playfully punching Highground in the shoulder. “Otherwise, I won’t be able to pay for you next time… I’ll buy you a nice pineapple drink!”

Highground scowled and had to stifle a retch at the mention of the fruit. Stella busted out in gut-grabbing guffaw.

“Ughhh jeez, I might as well just kill myself right now,” the cop said. “But yeah, if I don’t run into you, I’ll let you know when I’m free. Good luck tonight.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Stella agreed, and the two of them moved to part ways, but not without the Lunar guard swatting Highground on the ass as they passed by each other to leave. That garnered a shrill yelp out of her.

“See ya later, masturbator!”

All he remembered before he woke up the first time, was pain… a piercing, pulsing, profound pain that felt like his entire body was being roasted alive. Surprisingly, it didn’t break the record for ‘worst thing felt in his life.’

And it apparently took a while for the extreme redness on his skin to finally dissipate.

To say that the events leading up to where he was now being ‘interesting’ would be one of the greatest understatements in history. Fredrick, however, would be more inclined to append the word ‘embarrassing’ somewhere in his analysis of the more recent past. So much so, that he was only marginally less surprised to see where he ended up, as opposed to how he felt he arrived there in the first place.

This was all relatively speaking, of course, for the current moment.

Laying in the large, bland hospital bed in a cozy room of the Canterlot Castle’s infirmary, the green-eyed human stared straight at the ceiling. He visually traced the unimpressive patterns of gray on white, letting his eyes note the orthogonality of the gray lines which spanned the entire ceiling and faded into the walls… all this as he contemplated his existence.

However, he felt that this was admittedly a smidge different than the times he’d do the same contemplating in the confines of his own shower back home…

…mainly because he had no desire to whack off once he’d had his fill this time around.

Great. Just great.

Fredrick was instantly brought back to what he felt was the reason for his current predicament. In his opinion, he would not be recovering from weird burns in a hospital on a completely different planet, in a completely different universe… all populated with anthropomorphic ‘ponies or whatever this furry’s wet dream was,’ had he not been waxing the pink porpoise to some online video featuring a couple of respectable women.

Though he had to admit… that must’ve been some nut and some video if such an explosive orgasm took him physically to another goddamn plane of reality!

The thought was of little consolation, though. He sighed out painfully, running his left hand through his unkempt, amber-brown hair.

Fred was quickly reminded that that was the least of his worries at this point. As he had come to rationalize, he was somewhere that was definitely not Earth, surrounded by aliens that had oddly human-esque figure, despite obvious differences. By direct implication, he had no access to anyone whom he knew… and none of the native hospital staff, as nice and gentle (if a bit skittish at his appearance) as they were, offered any answers to his glaringly obvious questions. The one thing he knew for sure was that these sapients were called ‘ponies.’ At least, he vaguely recalled this when he awoke for the first time a few days ago.

To him, it was at least one saving grace that said ponies spoke the same language.

Speaking of hospital staff…

Fredrick’s eyes caught movement towards the doorway and found the same nurse that had tended to him when he woke up the first time. He believed he caught her name as ‘Nurse Nightcross’ or something weird yet definitely memorable.

“Uhhh, hi there!” he greeted suddenly, finally glad to have someone there to possibly tell him anything useful.

The nurse noticeably recoiled at seeing the odd, coat-less creature fully awake and alert again.

“Oh! You’re awake!” the older mare said before immediately tearing out of the room, leaving Fred with an extended arm and an open mouth.

“Well… fucking okay then,” he mumbled.

Exasperated, he let his arms fall to his sides, and he gazed through the lone window afforded to his room. Clearly it was night time, and the twinkling stars as well as the sheer luminosity of the moon took him by surprise. Just this little snapshot of the world outside sent Fred’s mind reeling with questions… namely, what lay out there, and more importantly, would he be able to see a more familiar night sky? One filled with light pollution, perhaps?

“Ahem...”

Fredrick instantly turned back toward the doorway, finding yet another one of these ponies, but this one was quite different… especially so since he first noticed the horn jutting from her head, and the wings folded against her back.

He assumed she was female, given by the tone she emitted when clearing her throat. As she advanced forward, Fredrick, shocked at just how tall she was, eyed her up beyond a bit more than what was appropriate. The golden tiara and peytral played host to a regal aura, combined with her porcelain-white coat and multicolored mane that appeared to flutter and flow with a nonexistent breeze. Further lending weight to his first assumption, Fredrick’s eyes took an extra second once they fell over her chest and hips.

The feminine figure was strong with this one.

The regal newcomer stood by Fred’s bedside, and the two said nothing as they merely held eye-contact.

“Hmmm… green eyes,” she mused just above a whisper, leaning a bit lower to get a better look.

Now, Fredrick knew he was in a completely different place than home, with an anthropomorphic figure looming over him with those piercing lavender eyes of hers. Even so, Fred had to control the descent of his gaze, considering that the beautiful white dress this mysterious pony was wearing was form-fitting.

Mysteriously in a new world with completely different creatures… and one still happens to have nice tits.

Dude, you’re ogling an alien. Stop.

“Uhhh…” Fred voiced confusedly with a matching expression. He wasn’t quite sure what he could say to that. Where could he possibly start?

“But where are my manners?” the regal one continued. “My name is Celestia, and I’m the co-leader of the nation of Equestria, where you currently are. I’m certain nothing make sense right now, but I assure you, I’m here to answer any and all of your questions.”

Something about that voice of hers… every time she uttered a single syllable or so much as breathed in his direction, she exuded an overwhelming sense of tranquility. By all means, Fredrick should’ve felt horrified at his situation, and in all honesty, his stomach was still doing flips on itself just based on the current implications alone.

Even so, Fred’s heart rate relaxed around this mare, and his breathing normalized. The sense of impending doom that was lingering in the back of his mind was cast aside just by her presence, even though his sarcasm defense mechanism was monolithic.

“I…” Fredrick began to speak, but his thoughts still continued to be muddled. It was as if at this very moment, the weight of everything was beginning to close in on him. The tranquility that Celestia had brought with her was forcing him to think logically…

…and consequently, face reality.

“Perhaps start with your name, since you know mine?” Celestia politely suggested, smirking down at him in such a motherly manner.

“Oh, right… heh. Ummm, I’m Fredrick. Fredrick Himmelreich.”

Celestia nodded pensively, mulling over his name in her head for a few moments. Still, she wished to tread carefully with her words.

“That’s an interesting name, but a nice one nonetheless.”

“I could say the same thing about yours,” Fredrick immediately replied, relishing in the metaphysical comfort that Celestia provided him by just being there. All the while, he wondered if she happened to have any relation to a unicorn based on the horn.

Celestia giggled, smoothing out her dress out of habit.

“True, but you’re the one in my world… not the other way around,” she astutely noted with another chuckle, one which Fredrick felt compelled to share in.

His first real question, however, was immediately intercepted by the mare.

“You’re wondering why you’re here, and when you may return home, surely?” Celestia guessed, though the heaviness of her words called the answer to his concerns into question.

Fredrick, however, decided to remain optimistic.

“Y-Yes,” Fred admitted, sitting up. Feeling reassured by her presence and spurred on by the almost painful need to know, he continued uneasily. “Ma’am, I… I have no idea where I am, or why.

“From the looks of it, I really don’t belong here, so I’d like to go home, like, now-ish, please,” he said.

Celestia let her eyes fall shut for but a second, taking in a deep breath and sighing out, her posture sagging in kind. Wordlessly, she took a seat next to Fredrick… and the once reassuring smile on her muzzle had sullied to one of pity. Her eyes shone of the absolute last emotion the human ever wanted to see at this particular time: regret.

She lay a tender hand atop his, and he noted how soft and velvety her skin felt, despite being covered in the thinnest layer of coat possible. It had only been about ten seconds of silence, but they told Fredrick everything.

Celestia took another stabilizing, crestfallen breath, and chose her next words very carefully. She could already feel her heart dropping into her stomach.

“I-I don’t know exactly how I can possibly say this to lessen the impact… but there’s something you should know, and that I’d like to explain to you,” she said softly.

Fredrick processed her words, and he assumed he knew what was to be said next, or at least the gist of it. Nevertheless, he remained silent, stoic, and he wordlessly communicated Celestia’s cue to continue.

“In our world, an ethereal, omnipotent force exists for us passively, and to actively harness at our will,” she explained, gesturing her left hand limply towards the clipboard on the nightstand.

On cue, her horn began to charge and glow with a comfortable light as she cast a small levitation spell. To Fredrick’s absolute disbelief, he witnessed the aforementioned clipboard become enveloped in the same, benevolent layer of light, and float into Celestia’s hand.

Her horn dimmed out completely.

“Magic.”

Fredrick, however, was sent reeling on all mental fronts. Eyes widened almost comically, he reflexively scooted a few inches away from Celestia. His pupils remained dutifully affixed to the clipboard that he could have sworn he saw floating through the air.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” he breathed out, but disbelief immediately morphed into denial.

“No. What the fuck was that?! What. Was. That?!” he just about yelled, but Celestia was quick to act. Calling upon her magic yet again, she channeled it into her hand and lay it on Fredrick’s shoulder, helping him to regain control of his breathing and calm him down.

She never lost her soft, comforting demeanor.

“Easy, Fredrick,” Celestia cautioned. “I know this will take enormous getting used to… and I only say that, and demonstrated, because it leads to the answer of your initial question.”

Fredrick did calm down. Whatever Celestia did to him worked marvelously, and he instantly felt he could think more clearly. This entire night, his state of mind had bounced around from sarcastic indifference, to straight-up fear, and back to ambivalence.

But now, being in the calmest and most coherent state since he woke up, he was able to fully process the reality of it all. He faced forward, and glanced down at his hands as if they would offer him any respite.

“I’m stuck here, aren’t I?” he said flatly.

This was someone Celestia just met, not even of this earth, and the sympathy she held at Fred’s quite true revelation almost physically pained her. Her ears flattened against her head and she, too, had to avert her gaze for a few moments before continuing.

Fredrick was right, though. The pregnant and poignant silences had told all, and probably in a much better way than mere words out of Celestia’s mouth would be able.

What he deserved to know, however, was that this was she and her sister’s error. Celestia knew deep down that there would be absolutely no appropriate way to divulge that they were the ones responsible for (accidentally) violently ripping him from his home, and would, with the highest probability, not be able to return him. She contemplated distorting some information to lessen the blow, but immediately dismissed that as a contradiction of her core tenants of friendship that she held near and dear.

And through this continuing, loaded silence, Celestia only had to take one look at Fredrick to know immediately what she wished to do, without question. Talking to him for these few moments, Celestia was able to reassure herself that Fredrick was no threat to her subjects, nor himself.

Seeing him, admirably, keeping himself together was one thing. Witnessing Fred’s face just sink, his features telling of abyssal hopelessness was another… and all reaffirming to say what she wished to do.

Stella stood by the edge of her bed, laying out all the pieces of her armor atop her sheets and ensuring utmost cleanliness for her shift this evening. She usually preferred suiting up in the privacy of her own room in the barracks rather than the armory, though by ‘her own’ she meant ‘room shared with one other pony.’

The Lunar Guard barracks were nothing to write home about, but in comparison to the Solar Guard ones, neither were they anything to balk at. Less overall manpower meant less space to take up, which meant more room to separate bunk beds into individual beds, with the blessing of Princess Luna and High Command. Each room, instead of housing four personnel like the Sols, only housed two soldiers per. Each room was afforded a single pony-sized mirror at the front wall, and both beds rested parallel to each other with their own headboards and nightstands. A lone window rested on the rear wall, equipped with thin but unbendable steel bars which let in plenty of fresh air and sun/moonlight.

Stella would always joke with her comrades about the unmovable bars, saying that everypony was locked in with her.

After cleaning some general grime off of her chest plate, Stella righted her posture and looked down upon her disassembled uniform with more than a modicum of pride. Smirking, she set about preparing to strap the pieces to her body, all while running over a little ‘incident’ with a Solar trooper that went down earlier…

It was little secret that Stella had a thinly veiled disdain for a fair portion of the Solar Guard Force, one which went well-beyond the scope of a general rivalry.

Though in the end, that wasn’t saying much. By self-proclamation, she did not get on with about half of the Lunar Guard, either. She felt them all too undisciplined.

Stella secured the first pieces of her armor to her body with the poise one would come to expect from a professional soldier. Her hands moved almost autonomously from her conscious thought, a side effect of having suited up more times than she could possibly count.

With a resting stoic face, she strapped her chest plate to her torso and ensured a form fit over the under-layer. She stood up and contorted herself in odd directions to doubly ensure that movement around her stomach would not be restricted in any manner. Next were her shoulder plates, which were easily done, and she patted both of them out of habit.

Finally, her armor skirt remained. That was a simple act of tying the restraints and she was suited up for the evening. Then, she turned to the mirror and gave herself a general lookover. A true suit of armor would include a more plating on the legs, but this was not entirely practical for battle. If real shit went down at the castle, all guards would acquire true soldier’s wear, including rifles.

Satisfied with what she saw, Stella smirked her usual smirk and strapped her sword to her left hip. Topping it all off, she adjusted her ponytail in such a way that allowed her to slip on her helmet with ease and no discomfort.

“Sexy and fierce as always,” she joked, cocking her hip out and winking at her reflection.

Fully suited up, she dusted herself off and promptly exited her room, striding down the main corridor and out of the barracks. It was a short flight over a courtyard and a brisk walk through a central castle artery, but eventually, Stella made her way to her post for the evening.

It was in no way any place preferential, though she did try to pull some strings with her CO to be stationed near the infirmary. There was scheduling conflict, so that didn’t work out in the end. She wanted to be one of the first to lay eyes on this mysterious bipedal creature that had been conjured into existence, especially since the Princesses personally sent out a notice to the guards. It was rather simple: apparently this ‘human’ would be residing in the castle indefinitely.

No matter. She could see for herself later.

“Righto…” she said to herself, arriving at a very particular pillar overlooking an auxiliary entrance to the main castle courtyard. “Another easy night.”

After a few adjustments, Stella stood ramrod, falling almost perfectly statuesque. Scrutinizing her posture would only reveal movement when she blinked her eyes. Otherwise, she went as silent and as still as a grave.

At this time of night, nopony was around, so Stella effectively had the entire area to herself. Still, she refused to give herself leeway; her CO could easily walk by on a routine check to see if she was slacking off. In fact, many were surprised to learn that Stella had nary a single infraction on her record; it was as sterling as a royal tea set.

Movement caught Stella’s eye to her left.

She didn’t dare move, however, so she only flicked her eyes in the general direction. She immediately knew that who she was looking at was the exact individual she wished to see from the very beginning.

Hmph. Expected somepony taller.

With a lone eye on the meandering human, Stella spied him in a simple t-shirt and some baggy sweatpants. Her sneaky gaze was drawn down toward his hooves… or where his hooves would be in place of those weird five-digit feet, like apes. His clothes were too baggy to discern any major physical shape, though he did not seem overweight nor skinny in any sense of the word. His jaw was angular, but his facial features were still soft, perhaps from some baby-fat that never left. Green eyes wandered over the halls and occasionally fell upon her. His mane was wholly unkempt and quite short by her standards. She was not all that surprised; the infirmary was not conducive to keeping up with personal style.

Stella had enough experience with that.

However, as she continued to stealthily observe him, she was mostly struck with how he had absolutely no coat on him; it was all bare skin as far as she could tell from the small distance.

In the end, she had to concede that he looked a lot better than she expected… then again, she wasn’t sure exactly what she was expecting. Something hideous most likely. Either way, it took all the discipline her military career had to offer to prevent herself from breaking her guard stance, running up to him, and bombarding him with questions.

“Bah, where the hell is… oh! Excuse me?” the human in question called out to Stella, jogging up to her.

There, she couldn’t help but beam with barely bridled excitement. Regulation expressly required (within security parameters) guard troops to answer and assist castle staff and civilians with whatever questions they had.

Fredrick had had enough of this. He had tried to follow Princess Celestia’s directions to his room, but he decided on the bright idea of meandering through the halls for some ‘fresh air.’ What he should have done was take Her Majesty’s offer of escorting him to what would be his sanctuary for the foreseeable future… but nope.

He had to be an idiot.

Still, it was better to deal with that now than bottled up hopelessness and sadness that would break again in the next couple of hours.

“Bah, where the hell is… oh! Excuse me?” Fred called out once he realized that the thing standing by a pillar was actually a guard and not a statue. From the looks of it, they seemed to be a couple inches shorter than him.

All he needed was some proper directions from this point and he’d be on his way. Considering Princess Celestia offered him full residency here in this castle for his troubles, he’d rather begin sulking in the comfort of a bed rather than on stone floor like a true degenerate. He considered stepping out into the main courtyard to check out that night sky he was so fascinated with earlier, but ultimately decided against that as well.

“Awrite there, mate!” the guard suddenly greeted, instantly turning her head to face him.

As for Fredrick, he recoiled at the deathly-still guardpony suddenly turning to him like some doll-centric horror movie. Further, he did not expect someone so oddly happy to see him, nor did he think a Scottish accent would be in order.

“Well… hi there!” he responded, though with understandably less enthusiasm for reasons obvious to himself and a select few others.

“Evenin’! Can I help you?”

“Yeah, actually umm… I’m trying to find the ‘Lunar Residence Hall?’” he asked, figuring his actual question of ‘where the fuck is this goddamn place, Jesus Christ’ was pretty implicit.

His new acquaintance brightened up at his request, and she disengaged her stance to stretch.

“Aye, a bit tint, are ye? No worries, it’s about a seven-minute walk this way,” she gestured down the hall with her thumb, then beckoned him after her. “I’ll show you the way, come on!”

Yet again, this added to his surprise.

“Oh! Well, okay!” Fredrick responded, quickly catching up falling into step with the nice Lunar guard. “B-But that’s really not necessary, you can just point me in the right direction.”

She was having none of it, though. With a quick motion, she lifted her helmet off and held it under her right arm, shaking her ponytail free and letting her mane bounce back to its natural form. Right there, Fred was introduced to the concept of a ‘batpony.’

“Fuck off, I’ll give ye a full tour if ya want,” she said, complemented with an energetic, toothy grin… one which Fredrick had no chance of saying no to. If he had to be completely honest with himself, the way her lips created that slight dimple in her cheek made her seem kinda cute.

Okay, a little more than cute. Her wordage was also a plus.

While he couldn’t see through her armor, it was fitting enough where he could easily infer that she was in incredible shape. The breast plate conformed to her chest, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about what was underneath.

For purely scientific reasons, of course.

Stop perving. Dem fangs, though. And dem eyes…

“If you insist!” he shrugged, returning her grin with a smirk of his own. Oddly, he wasn’t as tired anymore. This mare radiated energy. “Thank you… very much!”

She nodded emphatically in return.

“Bah, it’s the least I could do to give you a proper welcome. I’m Stella, by the way. Stella Sabre,” she formally introduced herself, stopping the both of them so she could offer her hand to him.

“Fredrick. Fredrick Himmelreich,” he parroted her.

Right in the middle of an unknown corridor, Fred happily planted his hand in hers. He had to quickly compensate as he did not expect such an aggressive, firm deathgrip of a handshake from this mare. Nevertheless, he considered it a success.

“A pleasure to meet you! Now, how about that tour?” Stella teased, not dropping his hand but actually dragging him harshly down the hall.

“WHOA! Okay!” Fredrick quickly caught himself before faceplanting into the stone floor, but kept pace with Stella nonetheless.

This is a really nice woman… or mare. Fuck, that’s gonna take getting used to.

That began the nearly one and a half hour-long tour of the main parts of the castle.

“Alright, so. We just passed the main courtyard. Moving this way, the path we’re on is called ‘Artery 3’ or simply ‘The Lunar Path.’ Now, if you knock about down that way…”

For even a small amount of time, Fredrick had forgotten mostly about why he was even here in the first place, why he would never be able to return to whence he came. Coming here necessarily hurt due to magical burns, but having the truth of the matter laid out to him was probably the greatest wound he had received to date in his life… and he had little idea if that would ever heal. However, Stella was helping him do wonders to stave off the inevitable when he would be alone.

However, this was what life and fate dealt him. While these weren’t the greatest cards in the universe, it could probably be worse; he could be dead right now. In an odd sense, it was helping Fred to think of this as a new start, a chance to potentially make a life for himself in a place where no one knew his name, nor even looked like him. What choice did he have?

Perhaps that would be reasonably challenging, but either way, if there was something his parents would want him to do, it would be just like they’ve always said: ‘There’s no use in complaining when life pegs you with a foot-long dildo. Play with the cards you’re dealt and make a winning hand out of them.’

Okay maybe they didn’t say it exactly like that but close enough. Besides, that’s what it felt like.

Still, Fredrick was certain there was room for a small grieving period. After all, he was just told with near one hundred percent probability that he would never see his home nor his family and friends ever again. He could probably mull over and soak that in over some tears and alone-time with his thoughts.

But now wasn’t this time.

After what seemed like an hour of straight walking and hearing Stella talk animatedly about the castle, he could not help but just marvel at this place’s complexity.

“Wow… this place is huge!” Fred expressed, drawing his eyes all around the dining room. “And again, seriously, this was really nice of you but you didn’t have to do this, honestly.”

Stella glanced over to him, but swiftly dismissed his concerns.

“It was no problem, Fredrick. I should be thanking you, though… never thought meeting a genuine alien would go over as well as it did,” she said. “Heh, I thought you’d be a right fuckin’ cunt, actually.”

Fred laughed for the umpteenth time tonight with Stella alone. Her vernacular was one of the greatest things he had ever heard, and by god he needed these laughs.

“Oh god…” he wiped his eyes. “I’ve just met you Stella, but you kill me already. But yeah, you’re right. You are surprisingly calm right now.”

The two slowed their brisk walk to a gentle stroll for the final leg of the trek to Fred’s room.

“Well, it’s because we have so many different species here in Equestria,” she explained, her hands gesturing emphatically with her speech. “In all honesty, if I didn’t know you you’d been squeezed out of a trans-dimensional vagina, I’d’ve assumed you were just some exotic species from—”

“Luna’s Moon, is that, you know, the thing?” a new, male voice cut off Stella’s musings as the two of them crossed into an intersection.

Fred looked to his left and spied another Lunar guard, and clearly he was talking about him. The human rolled his eyes, but didn’t really fault the dude for placing his rather candid thoughts on the table.

It begins.

The biggest surprise of the whole situation, however, came from Stella. The batpony mare shot her comrade a special look of contempt.

“Shut the fuck up, knobhead!” she roared, causing Fred to nearly leave the floor.

She had his full attention though, and it did not look like the offending guard was in any better shape, especially when Stella elected to continue her tirade.

“Is that how you treat a fuckin’ guest in your house?? Well, you’re from the eastern mountain range so I’m actually not surprised… right twats, the lot of you!”

Stella left Fred’s side and got right in the other guard’s face. Even though she actually had to physically look up to him, he still recoiled.

Fred only watched in fearful awe as a proud guard was instantly turned into a nervous wreck.

“No, we don’t! S-Sorry! I’m sorry, Stella!” he stuttered out.

“And that’s your headline response, aye?!” Stella continued, gesturing aggressively with her hands. “‘Oh I’m sorry’ says the fuckhead, dull-fanged vat of aged smegma!

“Mind yer fuckin’ post, Private Arseclown. And show some respect to our guests, ya fuckin’ savage, or I’ll shit inside your heart! Now!” she threatened.

“Yes, Corporal! O-Okay! Okay!” the guard cowered, but did his best to snap back to his still stance.

Satisfied with her work, Stella huffed and returned to a wide-eyed Fredrick.

Jesus H. Christ, don’t EVER get her angry…

“So, as I was saying,” she resumed speaking and leading the two of them onward. Fred quietly noted how her accent immediately flipped from terrifying back to adorable. “You’ll fit right in with us.”

“Fair enough, but am I safe around you?” Fredrick quipped, earning a sensible chuckle out of the batpony.

“Ahh a cheeky one, eh?” Stella asked rhetorically. “I like you. You’ll definitely fit in here. And hell, if you ever need company and wanna catch a drink from time to time, come find me in the castle’s pub. I’m usually there,” she offered toothily.

That smile was already growing on Fredrick. Perhaps (and a big ‘perhaps’ at that), this would not be so terrible. He mulled over her offer for a second or two.

“Y’know, I’ll probably take you up on that offer really soon.”

He sighed, running his palm over his head and stretching his back before continuing.

“Fuck knows I’m gonna need a few stiff drinks in me for a while.”

“Well, I can definitely help you with that, mate,” Stella said, brightening at the prospects of the near future.

In her mind, she found somepony certainly different, but didn’t annoy the piss out of her. In fact, this otherworldly human actually agreed with her sense of humor and hadn’t gotten scared off just yet. This was all a very good sign, and Stella would make sure that Fredrick could assimilate as easy as possible, on top of what the Princesses would certainly do to help him.

Despite what she’d often say out loud, she always welcomed new friends.

“And let me tell ya,” she voiced, nudged Fred’s shoulder with her own. “Stick with me, and things’ll be alright. I think you an’ I will get on very well.”

A/N: If you recognize Highground, you should. Thanks to Enigmatic Otaku for helping me create a joint canon that spans both our universes.

2. Fred and Stella Sitting in a Tree. D-R-I-N-K-I-N-G

[Six Months Later…]

With a final stroke of the pen, Fredrick completed the form as requested and bestowed the full authorization of the crown to continue with the enclosed, proposed project. With that, he gingerly set his quill to the side and reclined back in his chair, taking a few seconds to stretch his arms over his head.

The sleeves of his pristine white dress-shirt rode up his arms, but he soon slackened his posture back to normal. His tie needed a little bit of tightening too, so he took care of that as well. Fred wiped some dust that had accumulated in odd places on his desk before checking his inbox, finding only a couple more proposals to look at.

Seeing as he had been productive the entire day thus far, he figured he could take just a little time to space out. The grandfather clock against the right-most wall of the Solar Bureau ticked along rhythmically as the minute-hand quietly struck half-way past eight.

Fredrick glanced a bit over to the left and found his current employer, Princess Celestia, sitting at her own desk and working on things of her own. Since today was not a court day, she forewent the majority of her princess-ly regalia as well as her more formal dress, garbed instead in a cognac-colored suit that fit her form wonderfully.

Her tiara remained dutifully atop of her head, and her face shone of silent determination. Her paperwork had been piling up after the last few days of court, and she was determined to catch up.

She, too, gave those lavender eyes of hers a little rest and sat upright, exchanging a look with Fred. She lent him one of her usual smiles, not of the motherly nature… but one reserved more for a friend, as well as tossing in an extra sheepish glance for good measure.

“Sorry for the late night, Fredrick,” Celestia said, craning her neck to stretch it out. “We’re almost done here, but thank you very much for your help. Sincerely,” she added, having genuinely felt bad for the last couple hours for doing just that.

Fred, however, only shrugged. Quite the lot less than peeved, he made his indifference known.

“Hey, it’s what you pay me for, so…” he said nonchalantly. “Besides, you’re my friend. And I don’t have anywhere to be until a little later, anyway, so it’s not like you’re keeping me.”

Celestia mulled over his words while picking up her quill and setting back to work. Fredrick decided it would be appropriate to do the same. So, after one hand through his neatly combed, parted hair, he set off back to work.

“Very well, but still.” the Solar Princess expressed. “I hate late nights as much as anypony.”

The pause in conversation got Fredrick to reflect upon his current position in his—dare he say—new life. Admittedly, the first few weeks were more difficult than he could possibly imagine, and Fred lost count of the hours he spent sulking in his room. He had profusely thanked Celestia and Luna for ensuring that he had some company and stuff to do, which is actually how he landed where he was sitting right this moment.

His pride (as well as fear of side-effects of depressive complacency) refused to allow him to sit on his ass for any longer and just exist.

So, Celestia offered him a job as a royal and administrative assistant.

And, it was just what the doctor ordered. Falling into the routine of an actual job like he had back on Earth—while it did not cure him of longing thoughts of his previous life—did well to help him maintain a calm and steady mind. It was a win for both parties, in actuality. Celestia did need someone to put up with her and make her life slightly less difficult when it came to administrative duties, and Fred got paid for something he was good at.

Such duties included him tailing Celestia wherever she went, helping her with the aforementioned, insurmountable paperwork, and acting as her authority by proxy should it be required.

In fact, he managed to have a lot of fun these past months.

While much of that was owed to Celestia and Luna, he owed plenty of it to a certain batpony, Stella.

Fredrick signed off on another document as a pleasant smile graced his features, all over said thestral mare that had become his closest friend thus far.

“So what’re your plans for the evening?” Celestia asked, her gaze not leaving the official scroll she was scanning.

“Probably go back to my room and do nothing,” Fred replied.

Celestia raised an eyebrow in his direction.

“I thought you said you were doing something later?” she asked to clarify.

Fred met her questioning gaze with his own cheeky one.

“That was my plan: do nothing. I’ll be busy doing just that. Unless, of course, Stella forcefully drags me away from my sanctuary,” he elaborated.

He uttered those last few words with faux-hopelessness, because he knew for a fact that Stella would probably do that… Not that he minded, though.

Celestia giggled into her hand.

“That sounds like her, actually. If only I had somepony with her gall in my ranks,” she mused, then promptly continued.

“According to Luna, she just got promoted, too. Perhaps she’ll make Captain of the Lunar Guard one day.”

Fredrick shuddered playfully at the idea.

“Jeez, I know she has aspirations for her career here but good god… if that happens she’d scare off half the recruits with her mouth alone. Yet somehow, she’d still make the Lunar Guard the best fighting force,” he said, offering his partially-joking predictions.

In all honesty though, he felt that if Stella did eventually make Captain, it’d bode quite well for the Guard Force as a whole.

“Fair enough,” Celestia said, nodding.

Her expression became much more impish. Upon scribbling her signature on the document she was viewing, she turned her full attention to Fredrick with that half-smirk of hers.

“Though I must say, you’ve been spending a lot of time with her. Is there anything I should know about?”

Fredrick slowly lifted and turned his head towards Celestia, and the exaggerated gesture sent the solar alicorn into another fit of snickering. Fredrick, for his part, humorously entertained the thought.

Still, he shook his head with that same whimsical expression that he’d been harboring for the last few weeks.

“God, could you imagine? I honestly don’t think I’d survive,” he said, still mulling over the what-ifs.

Celestia nodded and still retained that jokingly flippant smile of hers while she continued to work.

“Possibly the first recorded case of death by banter?” she asked, but quickly followed up. “If there were no ethical questions, I’d give Luna the okay to weaponize her lexicon.”

“And then the world would bow to Equestrian hegemony,” Fred added, chuckling when he got Celestia to genuinely laugh at the thought.

“That’ll be the day” she said. “And you know what? Screw it. We’ll finish this tomorrow. There’s not much left, anyway, so just come in around noon and we’ll top this off,” she added, sweeping her paperwork aside and stretching her back.

As such, she puffed her chest out considerably, and Fredrick took no shame in stealing a glance.

Niceeeeeeeee…

“You sure about that?” Fred asked, making a few last-minute notes. “I really don’t mind staying later, you know.”

“Yeah, I think we’re good right now. It is late anyway, so why don’t we just call it a night right now?” Celestia proposed, organizing the last few things for tomorrow.

Fred shrugged, feigning indifference as he too began to wrap things up at his station. He shot his solar friend a sideways grin.

“Alright~” he replied. “If you don’t need me anymore, then in that case, I’m gonna take off right now. You got everything sorted?” he ventured to ask, testing his luck in one last effort to aid Celestia.

And with an exaggerated, dismissive wave of her hand, he had his answer.

“Yes, yes I’m good. Get out of here. I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll start two hours later to make up for the late night tonight, alright?”

Once she spoke those fateful words, Fred stood from his chair and initiated a massive, full-body stretch.

“Sounds like a plan!” he groaned out through his oh so pleasurable stretch. Having gathered what he needed (which wasn’t much), he removed his coat off the nearby coatrack and made for the door.

He waved to Celestia as he left.

“Goodnight, Celly!”

“Goodnight, Fredrick.”

Shutting the door behind him on his way out, Fred slipped into his sport coat and made his way toward his room in the Lunar Quadrant. The walk this late was usually a relaxing one for him, as there was nopony save for the occasional posted guard to make any noise. A gentle breeze blew through the corridors as he navigated expertly… a walk he had taken many, many times by now. His thoughts were occupied on just what he could do to entertain himself once he got back to his room.

At least, before Stella retrieved him at some point.

Hmmm. Glass of wine, perhaps?

Masturbate?

…Masturbate again?

All the possibilities he listed in his head sounded quite appealing, and he figured he’d get started with the first one on the list.

So, after a brisk five-minute walk, he arrived at his room’s large, ebony-wood doors. They weren’t unlike any of the other sets in the Residence Hall, but Luna had been gracious enough to have a nameplate custom made and nailed in the center. It ensured there were no more mix-ups and Fredrick accidentally walking into the room of a foreign dignitary again.

Especially when she happened to be nude.

Regarding the past gaffe with a chuckle as he entered into his room, Fredrick recalled that he had quite the lot of trouble explaining to Luna exactly why the ambassador from Mareatonia was ripshit.

More so because Luna just could not stop pissing herself laughing.

“Alright…” Fred huffed out to no one as he closed his door behind him.

Having entered fully into his room, he briefly took in his sanctuary: a nice, king-sized bed with teal comforter and sheets lay immaculately made on the right-most wall. A garden-variety rug took up the floor space between the foot of the bed and the dresser; said dresser—hand-carved at what Fred figured was cherry wood—stood on the left wall. This helped to frame the greatest part of his room, in his eyes.

The magically-lit candles cast small, dancing shadows that fought valiantly to compete with the natural moonlight entering in through the curtains from the balcony. Just as he had left it earlier, the massive balcony door, complete with several smaller window panes and a circular cutout amongst them, was slightly ajar. That same, comforting breeze blew inward and allowed the curtains to move in an ethereal cadence, as if beckoning him forth.

With a deep inhale and a smirk, Fred emptied his pockets and eagerly obliged. Passing between his bed and dresser, as well as a small vanity add-on next to the latter, he pulled back the curtains and threw open the balcony door in full. This gave him full access to the balcony proper, which was merely a half-circle composed of smaller stones, with some opulent-looking railings; suitable for a castle, he supposed.

Stretching out and running both of his hands through his hair, Fred let the breeze bathe him in a comfortable coolness that Equestria’s nights tended to afford him around this time of year, this time of night.

Fredrick leaned against the balcony and took in the sights of the lush fields and hills below, the mountain ranges directly ahead, and a lit-up Ponyville low and to the left. Scenery like this would cost a fortune a night back from whence he came. But here, it was free for him to take in whenever he liked. His breathing slowed and tranquility in its purest form diffused through his body through each exhale.

The princesses did spoil him though, at least in his eyes. Perhaps they were passively doing anything they could to make up for bringing him here.

Glancing over his shoulder and back into his room, Fred decided not to wander into that territory. It was good day today, and it was no time to sulk over things lost.

And as if the universe was listening to him, his door was violently booted open with an enormous crash. Needless to say, Fredrick almost shit himself… and nearly fell off the balcony.

Not necessarily in that order.

“FREEEED! HOOOLY FUCK!” came the boisterous, raspy, Scottish twang from the now-open door.

“JESUS CHRIST, WHAT??” came the reactionary retort from Fred after nearly killing himself from being startled.

The source of the sudden room-breach: Stella, garbed in a crimson V-neck and casual black short shorts. She immediately bounded into the room with the most beaming smile Fred had ever seen (after he gathered his bearings, of course). Her mane was styled in ponytail as usual and she was shaking in place with barely bridled excitement.

“Guess who’s got two thumbs, a nice rack, and just got bumped up to Leftenant??” Stella teased, but did not give Fred any moment to answer, as she promptly pointed her aforementioned thumbs right back at her aforementioned tits.

“This mare, right here!” she said with extra flair, striking a pose and holding up her new, shiny gold badge as she flared her wingspan.

Fred, hand over his chest and catching his breath, decided to remain out on the balcony to facilitate air into his lungs. He deadpanned harshly.

“Congrats Stel’, but for fucks sake, did you have to nearly destroy my door??” he asked, shooting her a rather peeved stare.

As if Stella even cared. She skipped forward merrily and joined him on the balcony, throwing her arms around him with a squeal.

She then became suddenly very… serious. She separated from him but bore her eyes straight into his. Having six months’ worth of exposure to the mare made Fred well-prepared for certain habits of hers.

“Yes. It was very fucking necessary. Don’t you ever question my methods of exuberance again, ya pasty lookin’ piece of stale sourdough,” she said.

Fred reeled a bit in confusion, and said reaction sent the batpony mare into a retreating giggle fit.

“Okay, I can’t tell if that was just a shit insult, or you actually made a crack at the color of my skin.”

“Nevermind that! I’m in a great fuckin’ mood right now and I have the night off!” Stella expertly swerved around Fred’s remark, doing a happy little twirl. The hem of her shirt lifted up ever so slightly and even the human had to admit it was cute.

She then added:

“So, I’m thinking you and me waltz on down to one of my favorite places to eat and drink. So, if I don’t have to castrate some poor bastard and that’s a big if,” she paused for dramatic effect, her right index finger pointing at Fred emphatically.

“We have a good time, get fuckin’ gashed and you can drag me back to barracks!”

“Hmmmmmmm,” Fredrick hummed, jokingly mulling over Stella’s offer.

In all honesty, that actually sounded like a wonderful time, and he’d be more than eager to go with her. However, he just liked pressing her buttons like the good friend he was.

Stella’s face went stoic as Fred drew out his hum.

“And by ‘hey let’s go somewhere,’ I of course meant ‘I’m not giving you a fuckin’ choice, cunt. You’re coming with me.’”

There’s what he was looking for. Thus, he decided to continue prodding her. Leaning his back against the balcony ledge, he replied:

“You have a compelling argument.” He bobbed his head lightly. “But I was feeling kinda tired after some overtime today…”

“Fair enough, mate,” Stella said, walking next to Fred and leaning on the balcony as well.

Cocking an eyebrow at him, she continued.

“In the end, all I’m saying is that you can go back to sitting on your ass and having a wank into yer sock over pictures of Princess Luna… or you can get drinks with your best friend and not be a right flaccid cock, ya fuckin’ poof.”

Fred could not contain it any longer, and he went into one of the many raucous laughing fits that Stella had put him into. How could he possibly say no to that, even if he wanted to?

“As much as the former option sounds entertaining,” he began. “I think going out with you clearly wins out. Alright, let’s head out.”

Stella beamed, but her eager expression quickly morphed into a devilish one.

“Sounds good to me! Let’s take a shortcut out to save some time,” she alluded, cracking her knuckles and stretching out her wings.

Fredrick was a little more than confused. To his knowledge there was only one way in and one way out of the castle.

“Wait… what do you—”

“THINK FAST, MATE!”

At an instant, Stella grabbed Fred by the legs and heaved him over the side of the balcony, much to his readily apparent chagrin if him screaming bloody murder was anything to go by.

The moment he went over the edge, Stella took a leap of faith and let her wings do all the work. For a split second, she felt the rush of air flowing powerfully over her appendages and her mane…

…then she remembered her scheme in the first place, and recalled that it would be wise to catch Fred in her grasp while he flailed, screamed, and plummeted towards the moat.

So, with a quick few bursts of speed and instantaneous flight adjustments, she intercepted him and clutched his body to hers as they neared a much safer distance to the ground.

Sailing briefly over the moat, Fred’s understandable wailing trailed off when he realized he was caught.

Stella then harshly deposited the two of them on the grass just on the perimeter of the moat. Though she could fly well, there would be no hope in her hefting his ass the entire way to their destination. Physics wouldn’t allow it.

Hyperventilating and checking his body, Fredrick ensured all was where it should have been before glaring daggers at an ever impish-looking Stella, who had landed right next to him.

“WHAT THE SHIT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LEATHERY-WINGED WHORE!?”

“Hey, fuck off, mate. Nopony pays me to have sex! Now come on, we’re burning moonlight,” Stella countered, dragging Fredrick by the hand towards the main streets of Canterlot.

“To you, and your new rank! Congratulations, Stella,” Fredrick complimented with a smile, holding his large beer mug out for Stella to tap hers against. He had rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie for the occasion.

“Cheers, mate!” she exclaimed brightly in return, clinking her mug against his and signaling the both of them to chug the first drinks of the night.

The two leaned back in their booth and began downing one of the many tasty Equestrian elixirs in one of Stella’s favorite restaurants. Fred didn’t remember the name with all the noise around him in this happening place, but if he had to make a comparison, it reminded him of maybe a wing-shack of some sort… a place where a bunch of people could eat, drink, and dance to the live music.

There was certainly plenty of the latter.

Fredrick couldn’t down his entire drink in one go, so after he exhaled and set his glass down, he took another quick look at his surroundings. For a place frequented by batponies, it was surprisingly well-lit with soothing lights placed along the ceiling. There was a full, circular bar at the center of the restaurant that was constantly serving drinks to the dancing and lounging customers. Countless booths lined the perimeter of the establishment and the entirety of the free space was used as a dance floor. It was stuffy, but an unknown breeze served well to cool down all the customers, and ensure no detriment to a truly good time.

Quickly putting his attention back on Stella, she was still chugging the massive beer, and only after a couple of seconds, she was on her last sip.

Though Fredrick noticed something interesting: two drops dribbled down her chin and landed right in her cleavage.

Oh by all that is holy, dem tits…

Slamming her mug back on the table, she let out an exaggerated ‘ahhh’ and scooted next to Fredrick, wrapping her arm around him and pressing her cheek to his with a bright smile.

“Thanks, Fred. It really means a lot. Thanks for coming out with me,” Stella said, and the two shared in a small moment when the human returned her hug full force.

Fred curiously noted that she smelled nice, like the ‘nightbreeze’ wash that he was so fond of. He mulled over whether he had noticed it before or not.

The two traded soft smirks before Fred replied.

“Hey, it’s my pleasure. You’re never boring company,” he said. “Besides, it’s not every day my best friend becomes a lieutenant in the Lunar Guard! You’re gonna do well.”

An attentive waiter swooped by during the small pause, removing both empty glasses and replacing them with full ones before skating off again. Stella continued as if there was no intrusion, looking to her friend with a curious confidence.

“Aye? You think so?”

Fredrick forced a small patch of his hair back into place before answering from the heart.

“Oh hell yes. You’ve been wanting lieutenant for a while. I think you can do some real good now. Honestly, with your attitude, abrasiveness…”

“Hey!” Stella mock-scolded, playfully punching Fred in his shoulder as he continued.

“…but most of all, with your work ethic. You’ll make a fine officer,” he concluded, raising his glass to her again before taking another sip.

Stella grinned widely, those dimples in her cheeks becoming much more prominent, especially on her right cheek. Fredrick was almost tempted to poke her there, but figured Stella could do much worse in return, so he decided against it.

“Well aren’t you the fuckin’ charmer today?” she teased. She shamelessly adjusted her bra to alleviate some discomfort, which drew Fred’s attention briefly back to one of his more favorite parts of the fairer sex.

“Heh, next you’ll be sayin’ I’m pretty,” Stella added with a nudge.

Fredrick knew for a fact this was playful banter bordering platonic flirting. This was not entirely uncommon between the two of them, but throughout the six months that they had grown closer, they had not touched so much on their personal opinions of each other’s looks.

Nevertheless, reclining into his booth and turning to face Stella more personably, Fred wasn’t that afraid to speak his mind on the matter.

“We both know the answer to that implicit question. Stop fishing for compliments, bitch.”

Stella giggled maniacally, taking a swig of her own drink.

“Ahhh… Nah I just like seeing you get flustered when you say it,” she admitted.

And then she scooted a bit closer to him, leaving but half a foot between them.

Fred angled his head to her incredulously at her words.

“Oh please. If anything, I was nervous when I first got here and was still adapting. I’m most certainly not afraid to compliment you.”

Stella lidded her eyes, smiled brightly, and leaned in a little more.

“You sure about that?”

Fredrick shook his head lightly and shrugged, unfazed.

“Ummm. Yeah?” he said unsurely, cocking an eyebrow.

It was often anyone’s guess where Stella was going with her antics. Fredrick’s experience with women his own age gave him some predictive power with her… but as he and the batpony became much closer, Stella seemed to defy all logic sometimes. Thus far, their friendship had been nothing but peaches and cream, so there was nothing to really complain about per se, but one such example of her wildcard status was tossing him over the balcony for essentially ‘the lulz.’ In short, she kept him on edge.

But, contrary to his more cautious personality, he liked it.

In the end, Fredrick knew quite well that Stella would never let anything bad happen to him; she gave off that almost protective aura, and not in a patronizing way, either. Smiling on the inside at the brief reflection and respite from her antics, he could only hope he gave off the same feeling to her.

Back in reality, Stella looked comically surprised.

“Really…?” Stella questioned again, but her features soon returned to their sultry state.

She leaned forward more, just enough so that Fredrick could merely flick his eyes downward and catch an unadulterated glimpse of her full cleavage.

Fredrick fell right for it, and with a fleeting glance, he caught sight of her natural valley… one that he had been guilty of sneaking a glance at every now and then. This only proved to him that Stella definitely noticed once or twice.

“Why don’t you tell me again? Go on, say it,” she dared.

Fredrick gulped as his shirt spontaneously became much too tight around his neck. His internal temperature seemed to rocket upward, and his confidence in the face of Stella prodding and teasing him was called into question.

Stella appeared to notice this, because she reoriented her arms so her breasts were squeezed together that much more.

“Y-You’re a very pretty mare, Stella… Why must you hurt me in this way?” Fredrick said the fateful words, placing two fingers between his neck and shirt collar.

Stella righted her posture victoriously, laughing uproariously.

“Well thanks, love! I win!” she declared, pumping a fist into the air before downing the remainder of her second beer and lavishing him with another hug.

Fredrick was understandably flustered now, but what was odd to him was that he wanted… more. Stella pretty much let him use her as eye candy at that moment and catch one of the most perfect down-shirt glances he’d ever gotten.

Bah, not the first time. She’s hot, what could I expect?

At Stella’s request, they ordered more drinks including vodka, gin, and some more beers… though the batpony consumed most of it. Despite their activities and nonsensical conversational topics, Fredrick was hard-pressed to ignore the fluttering in his chest, as well as the stomach butterflies each time she smiled at him.

Especially during one particular moment. Fredrick had to wrench control of his body back and avert his gaze lest he become a little too lost in those golden orbs of hers.

Fred strained as Stella jerked and shuffled in his grasp as they struggled to walk back to the castle. While Fredrick looked as collected as ever (and being only mildly tipsy by this point), Stella was on another plane of inebriation entirely.

With her left arm thrown over the human’s back, Fred helped the stumbling mare forward by putting his arm around her waist and holding her as upright as possible. In the process, he could feel the taut, toned muscle underneath her shirt, and his mind slowly began to wander.

The odd duo gradually made their way down one of Canterlot’s side-streets to avoid the nightlife traffic, which left them with essentially a road to themselves. The two conversed loudly, though about ninety-five percent of the talking was done by a completely sloshed Stella. Fred had rarely seen her this drunk, but he had to admit that she was often just as hilarious and fun, if not more so when she was.

What made things complicated, building up from the odd feelings from the restaurant, was that to Fredrick, she looked absolutely stunning…

…as stunning as a plastered, uncoordinated and slurring mare could be, of course.

Still, each time Fredrick glanced over to her, he was suddenly taken by how the full moon’s light would reflect off of her coat, bringing out her subtle blue color at the right angles. Stella’s face was flushed, and her smile never seemed to wane. Her mane shined luminously, and even in its somewhat disheveled state, her ponytail was as awesome as it always was to him. Those golden eyes, now perpetually lidded, beamed brightly at him when she would cast her gleeful, inebriated gaze onto him.

To Fredrick, Stella was always a good-looking mare. Her attitude about life and ethics further added to this analysis.

But tonight… she was beautiful.

“You know, when you said ‘carry me back to barracks,’ I didn’t actually think you meant it,” Fred complained, opting to draw his conflicted thoughts away from the mare in question.

Stella’s response came out garbled and slurred:

“Ah fuckin’ always mean wha I spew out mah gob, ya hooman twat.”

She punctuated with a deep giggle, nuzzling her cheek into his for about the thirtieth time in the last hour.

Fredrick, however, could barely understand a word she said. It was as if her Scottish-ness fucktupled in size, and her accent spontaneously got immeasurably thicker, along with the usage of garbled, borderline nonsensical amalgamation of slang and profanity.

“Okay, I understood the ‘human twat,’ part. What the hell else did you say?” he ventured to ask.

Stella exaggeratedly tilted her head into his and made direct eye-contact.

And in hindsight, Fred figured that was a bad idea.

“Ya takin’ the piss outta me, Fred~, ya fukkin’ know me fer hav a gotdamn year an’ ya can’t even know wat the fuck Ah’m sayin’. Fuck’s sake, love, Ah thought ya wer mah bestest mate, ya fukkin’ skin-coated *HIC* green-eyed Trottingshite lookin’ wankstain pisser.”

Mouthing ‘oh my god’ to himself whilst shaking his head wheezing, Fredrick realized that this was their friendship in a nutshell. Even when neither of them had alcohol in their system, their last two utterances of dialogue were a proper summation of the bond they had formed over the last half-year.

After rounding a corner, the castle was now in sight for both of them.

“I can’t fucking understand you… This is exactly why we’re friends, Stella,” Fredrick said, chuckling.

Stella, easily sent into another snickering fit, had her own opinion to add to that… with a trademark (albeit drunken) smirk of hers.

“One o’ many reasons, handsome.”

Fred recoiled at that, and blinked hard.

“Did… did you just call me handsome?” he pressed.

Stella didn’t seem as willing to play games, this time.

“Oh don’t gimme tah fukkin’, holier-than-thou questions, ya soft cunt,” she so eloquently began. “Ya called me pretty earlier an’ Ah see tah way ya look at me when ya think Ah’m not payin’ attention. Ah’m a fukkin’ guard… and Ah was a regular soldier, knobhead. Ah know when Ah’m bein’ sized up.”

Fredrick didn’t think he could get any paler in the face of Stella’s drunk accusation.

Does she know?

And in the absence of any input from him, Stella took the opportunity to elaborate. Ever the brash one, her features devolved into a much softer, sultry look.

“But the question is… are ye stallion enough tae handle me in every respect?” she purred.

She then dragged a lone finger over Fred’s chest ever so delicately… and proceeded to descend lower and lower down his torso.

Fredrick stiffened (thankfully, only in the appropriate manner) at her allusive touch, but had enough sense to banish those thoughts. Feeling this a silver lining, he capitalized on what he felt was an appropriate out.

He gingerly batted the mare’s exploring hand away.

“Alright that’s enough, Stella. You're way too drunk for this right now.”

There was a pause that followed as they crossed the moat and entered into the castle proper. Stella looked as if she was processing those words for a good two minutes.

Finally, she had something to say, and say it she did with the conviction and run-on sentence structure few ponies could ever muster:

“No Ah’m nae! Ah swear tae me fuckin’ minces Ah’m not fukkin’ gashed, mate Ah’ll fukkin’ clock ye roight in tae fukkin’ cock n’ gob an’ smear yer fukkin’ entrails on yer face n’ south ya fukkin’ feet-havin’ twink stale piece o’ fukkin’ shitebread!”

Fred could’ve sworn Stella had some Cockney blood in there with some of those words she was spouting. What’s more, her words reverberated off the castle walls and echoed down the halls; Fred only hoped nopony would investigate.

“Jesus, Stella I still can’t understand a fucking thing you’re saying!” Fred exclaimed, quickly adjusting his grip on her waist so she didn’t slam into a pillar.

Her drunken mischievousness slipped away, however, when she had a sudden epiphany. The former topic was no longer priority.

“Shit… Ah need tae lie down, mate…” Stella grumbled, then belched into her fist.

Thank you Jesus…

“Alright, hold on Stel’. We’re almost there,” Fredrick said, picking up his pace and being the one dragging her this time around.

Thankfully there didn’t seem to be any guards

“I swear to Black Jesus if you hurl on me…”

“Ah ain’t gonna hurl, goddamnit. Stop gettin’ yer twat in a tangle,” Stella rebutted.

“Shut up. Just lean against me.”

Another drunkenly sultry face.

“Yeah, you’d like that huh?” Stella slurred out, pressing her breasts into Fred’s side.

She then began raising and lowering her torso against his ribs while nuzzling his face all the while. While her coat certainly felt nice against him—its velvety texture caressing him in such a way that he almost just let it happen—Fredrick pushed her away just enough.

“Goddamnit…” Fredrick mumbled.

They eventually found themselves in front of the entrance to the Lunar barracks. It lay at the end of a long corridor in the Lunar Quadrant, beyond a single door guarded by a lone guard.

Said guard stepped forward to intercept the odd duo.

“Halt. State your business here,” the stallion held his hand out to Fredrick.

He turned to the drunken mare in his hold.

“Your badge?”

“Wait, is that Stella?” the guard suddenly asked. After getting a quick, closer look, he nodded.

“Yup, that’s her. Looks like she celebrated a little too hard. Thanks for bringing her back. Go on in and get her to bed,” the soldier added politely, stepping aside and opening the door for the two of them.

“Hey, thanks man,” Fredrick replied, nodding deeply in thanks as he passed by.

“Not a problem."

“Oi! Good evenin’ Nightshade, ya pecan-crusted dickwheel!” Stella garbled her greeting as they passed by, though the guard decided to ignore her.

She didn’t seem to care either.

Conversation sorta died at that point, but there was no semblance of an awkward silence to be found. That’s one thing Fredrick had been thankful for as time went on. Stella often did most of the talking, but he didn’t mind. Even when both of them would fall quiet at some point, nothing seemed out of place.

It allowed him to concentrate on making sure he tucked the mare into bed properly. She cared not for her clothes and opted to pass out the moment her head hit the pillow, loud snoring and all.

Fredrick decided to sift through Stella’s cabinets to find a couple of glasses. He filled them with water and placed them on her nightstand before turning to make an exit. But he could not resist looking back on his knocked out friend with a foreign, odd variant of happiness reserved specifically for friends. A sappy smile etched its way onto Fred’s face… and he cupped his best friend’s cheek.

“Goodnight, you. And congrats again. Enjoy the fucking monolithic hangover tomorrow… yeesh.”

With that, he made his exit.

Unfortunately, the aforementioned sappy smile fell into a rather serious, pensive expression. Fred mentally compiled a small list of things that he had noticed specifically tonight.

God that shirt fit her so well.

Her teeth and smile seemed brighter tonight.

Her coat was immaculate!

She said I was handsome...

Wait… Oh fuck me.

Fredrick slapped his palm to his face and grumbled.

“I like Stella, don’t I?” he asked himself a genuine question.

One he already knew the answer to... an answer that had been festering for longer than he'd care to admit. If this was the case, he knew well that this had plenty of forthcoming implications, and each and every one of them terrified him to no end. Still, he could not get over how when his thoughts would drift to her even now, his heart rate seemed to soar, and his cheeks would flush.

There was no question about it any longer. Therefore, he had to see somepony tomorrow, one who could really help him sort out his thoughts and how to best approach this.

Because, lord above, Fredrick knew he’d be in for a wild ride if he was romantically interested in Stella.

“God fucking damnit.”

Author's Note

Some more internal musings and reflections this chapter to offset the massive amount of dialogue of last chapter. All comments and feedback appreciated. See you soon :twilightsmile:

13. Late Nights

Author's Note

"Flam, where's the clop!"

"YOU GET TO EAT A BAG OF DICKS CALLED 'CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.' THERE'S YER CLOP!"

As per our discussion via a blogpost, this portion was taken out from the original chapter 13. Chapter 14, thusly, will be released as the rest of this enormous chapter.

13. Late Nights

Fredrick had always been partial to cooler nights, ever appreciative of when the sleeping hours warranted the wreathing of some thick covers over his body…

…Which would provide the necessary warmth for him to sleep without more than a single pair of boxers.

No ulterior motive at all.

He was a man of equilibrium, and this extended to the environment. He favored more temperate climates as opposed to extreme hot or cold weather. Vacations to the tropics or to the snow were met with equal disdain and constant derision on his part.

But perhaps more specifically, Fred longed for when the night was cool enough to outright snuggle with someone else. If this wasn’t the case though, the aforementioned covers would do just splendidly.

Thankfully, to his great enjoyment, this was exactly the case with the weather and was somewhat the norm in Thestralshire.

Because the location geographically, in conjunction with the rather… unique structure and sublocation within a goddamn mountain, the air was generally a little more biting at night. This supplemented the more humid and rainy climate that produced the lushness he so adored.

Paradise.

And to him, it was the perfect way to unwind and cool off after he and Stella’s steamy evening together.

To sweeten the deal even more, it began to rain again… and the perpetual, soothing petrichor smell became much more pervasive through the open window.

Thankfully, Stella's bed was easily able to accommodate the two of them, even without cuddling. Stella had opted to sleep on her side, facing towards her door while Fredrick was afforded the luxury of being able to lean against the cool stone wall.

Windows with nice views or airflow were an odd thing he enjoyed. Even though there were no planes in this universe, he still insisted upon window seats or positions always.

He was a little more than content that this pattern continued outside of Earth.

Despite a distinct lack of snuggles due to Stella's insistence before they retired for the night, all was perfectly well and good for the human.

Well, at least until the pitter-patter of the rain had gingerly feathered Fred awake from his beautiful, first slumber of his week-long vacation.

His eyes, heavy with travel fatigue, strained open just a tad to confirm that it was indeed still sleeping time.

A clock by the room entrance that held soft blue, glow-in-the-dark hands did well to inform him that they had about another five hours to sleep.

Perfect.

Lying on his back, Fred formed a weak smirk as his roused mind returned to peace… a peace that held great weight upon hearing the white noise he would fall asleep to as a child.

All the light crystals had been dimmed to their lowest levels once he and Stella had given one another their goodnight kisses. Fred was one who preferred pitch-blackness when he fell asleep, but even he had to admit that there was an odd, comforting charm to the soft, lavender glow at its lowest level. Stella’s possessions cast their imposing, yet protective shadows towards the firmament of the ceiling—unmoving, unwavering even with the occasional breeze that would waltz inside.

With that odd, child-like image in his forethought, the human felt more at peace than he had in a good while… not to say that he wasn’t content with his life.

So, Fred was more than keen to turn over to the cold, stone wall and fall right back asleep.

But alas, some jerky movement from Stella’s side of the bed piqued his sleepy interest.

And a further gentle series of murmurs and subtle whimpers made it clear that Fredrick did not awaken merely on account of the rain.

A smidge more awake than he had been mere seconds ago, Fred confirmed that Stella was indeed the source of the soft disturbances that would lightly jar the bed.

Fredrick supported his torso up with the help of his right hand and felt around for Stella's side through the comforter.

He found her waist, and her intelligible sleep-talking did not wane at his first, preliminary touch.

“Stella?” Fredrick whispered, then began to stroke side in a first attempt at rousing her.

He scooted up right next to her.

“Babe?”

No acknowledgement.

She slept like a corpse most of the time. This was likely no different an occurrence.

“Nnnnyuh… mmmph…” Stella continued to sound in her less than peaceful slumber.

“Hey… come on, you. Wake up, beautiful,” Fred cooed right into her ear.

He felt said ear flick against his nose, but Stella’s antics were undeterred by his voice, nor were initial comforting graces of his hands at all effective in his campaign.

But as her twitching under his touch became more pronounced, so did her words.

“No… don't do that…”

Fredrick scooted up flush behind her and began squeezing her shoulder firmly. He noted any words of hers that he could make out through her incomprehensible garble, but did not give them much credence in the moment.

“Stella? Fuck’s sake, wake up!”

“Not you too.” She growled. “… not you too mate. Don't do it…

“Ugh… damnit, don't go…

“Please?”

Fredrick had had enough of Stella sounding genuinely hurt and distressed. His heart simply could not take it any further.

Thus, his words accompanying a violent shake of her upper body were much more forceful.

“STELLA!”

To which she hissed her retort:

“DON’T FUCKIN’... LEAVE ME HERE GODDAMNIT!”

Fredrick decided to go nuclear.

“WAKE. UP. YOU SLACK, WEAK-HOOFED LEATHERY-WINGED PISSER!” Fred commanded after patting her cheek repeatedly.

That's all it took, apparently.

Stella's writhing and whimpering abruptly ceased, and the ensuing silence was bloated with a natural confusion from the awakened batpony.

Said silence was instantly replaced with hyperventilating as the mare came to, fully.

She blinked the remnants of her nightmare out of her eyes, wiped the crust on the back of her hands, and sought to ascertain her whereabouts in the bout of post-dream rousing.

“Wha… huh?” she questioned, then acknowledged to the two hands that had found their way on her.

Glancing back and seeing Fredrick casting a concerned, protective look, brought her back to reality.

And just like that, Stella’s features sagged and sunk. She then shook her head as she wiped her face off from the fresh tear and sweat stains.

Her golden, predatorial eyes fraught with the remnants of a benign, yet primal fear did not suit her style.

“Fuck’s sake…” she muttered.

“Stel’, you alright?” Fredrick asked.

His usually foul-mouthed marefriend locked eyes with him again, nodding, while uttering her reply in a tone most apt for the silent night.

“Aye… I’m good, love. Thanks fer gettin’ me outta that shit,” she spoke, taking one of Fred’s cool hands in hers.

They were a nice remedy to the heat that coursed its way through her body against her will. Their fingers interlocked with one another like roots of trees—a small symbol that characterized their exponentiating, yet fledgling romanticism.

Stella sniffled once, then shook her head once more.

Fredrick was quick to insert his next question with a forlorn, knowing obligation.

“Guessing it was the nightmare again?” he inquired, and ran his fingers through her mane for some good, comforting measure.

Stella let her heavy-as-steel eyelids flutter shut under his touch, and she leaned further into his hand as she sighed.

Fredrick got the message, and cupped his palm on around her cheek.

Stella nodded in response to his question.

“Yep. Shit’s gettin’ old real fast, lemme fuckin’ tell ye.”

Fredrick glanced away for a moment to collect his thoughts, then turned back to Stella ready to ask another question that he already knew the answer to.

Even so, as Stella’s boyfriend, it was his duty to at least attempt to help her in any way he both could, and knew how:

“Anything you wanna talk about?”

Through a calculated, complex defense mechanism that Stella employed with very specific subjects in her life, her knee-jerk response came with a little more snark than she had consciously intended:

“There’s nothin’ tae talk about,” she replied tersely.

“Just retarded shit that went down in the Badlands Border Region a million years ago. That’s it, mate. Case closed.”

Fredrick rolled his eyes as he formulated his response.

The human was more than aware that Stella was, at the very least, a ‘big girl.’ As such, she was more than capable of taking care of herself.

A nightmare was not necessarily seen as an… ‘obstacle’ to her daily routine of ‘eating bubble-gum and chewing ass.’

The thing was, she was having these with a bit more frequency over the past few months. And to Fredrick’s knowledge, it appeared to be the same nightmare, perhaps with minor nuances based on what little info he could extract through Stella’s resistance or lack thereof.

He still was not sure why she was so defensive over it, considering Stella would take any chance she could get to run her mouth about worse topics…

...or perhaps, Fredrick was just being ignorant, and his naivety was shining through like the afternoon sun through a screen-door.

What Stella experienced out there… was it bad enough to warrant a somewhat recurring nightmare?

He sighed, concern still evident over his visage.

“Yeah, I know Stel’, but don't you think there's something you could do to help remedy this? If you don't want to talk to me you can talk to someone else, you know,” Fredrick suggested.

It was Stella’s turn to roll her eyes.

She followed that up with a shake of her head as she lay back down.

“I'm not gettin’ into this with you, Fred… again.”

Fred raised an eyebrow.

“So. You're just gonna live with it? You’re the one that just said it was getting old. I’ve never once known you to take shit lying down… I mean, come on.

“You're better than that!”

Stella sat up ramrod, negating her previous action with a vengeance.

“Look love,” she began, her tone of ‘I'm way too tired for this shit’ loud and clear.

She raised an index finger.

“It's shit that happened back then. And from before we met, me past isn't exactly yer business, innit?

“Wanna ask me how many stallion’s I’ve fucked, while yer at it, mate?”

That certainly woke him up. He physically drew back and blinked at the weight her response carried, as if the quantifiable harshness impacted his chest.

Whether they were intentional or not had no bearing on attempting to feel unhurt, even if it was mild.

Stella still noticed. Regret instantly ran rivulets through her bloodstream.

“Wow… y-you know what?!” Fred began to rise to counter, evident by his rising tone through his whisper…

…but he ultimately decided against it. His will to escalate this argument waiting to happen fizzled into the cool air of Thestralshire.

Stella still noticed his reaction—darkness was never an obstacle for a batpony.

She flinched the moment the last of her words left her mouth without the quality-control nor filter she never had.

As for Fredrick, he acknowledged that Stella was letting past be past. He had to concede that whatever the topic of this dream, it was only really causing her a minor inconvenience; it wasn't ruining her life in the slightest.

Maybe aggravating her occasionally, but that was about it. What didn’t aggravate this mare to some degree?

Fredrick huffed, then scaled back his posture. To him, Stella was right in the end, and he did not want what would be an explosive argument over something miniscule in the grand scheme of things.

He was proud of the fact that Stella and he had not truly had an argument over the course of their aggregate relationship.

Disagreements and lambastings aside, of course… this was the first time that they ever raised their voices both defensively and accusatively at one another. Ultimately, the precipice of his irritation was marred by images of his parents grotesquely screaming at one another over nothing—a proverbial world war over spilled milk.

While standing ground was important, he would never allow himself to come to that. Ever.

As a result, his next words were much more restrained than he had initially intended:

“You’re right. It isn’t any of my business.

“I just don’t like seeing you like this, no matter how often it doesn’t happen,” he admitted.

Stella’s defensiveness had receded back into nothing, and despite she being as tired as she was, her brief musings of a snarl elastically sprung back to one of her usual smirks.

One that held a semblance of blush, courtesy of a fluttering heart at Fredrick’s words…

In her most scholarly opinion, it was an excellent windfall that Fredrick could not see that well in the dark as a human. This did little to stem the remorse that had built up greatly within her, paining her like an ethereal, upset stomach.

Stella knew he didn’t deserve her words in the slightest. Through her interrupted sleep cycle and her nightmare, her emotions were running on a temporary overdrive. To her, as someone who valued discipline, this was no excuse for her to snap at Fredrick like that. At all.

In fact, it was embarrassing.

Even if it was nowhere near the level of furor she had unleashed on others when she had truly snapped, it was still much more than Fredrick ever once deserved.

“Hey…” she began uneasily.

She drew her gaze away from his for a few moments. Though succinct, her first sentence came with a barely noticeably shakiness. Uncharacteristic apprehensiveness was bundled with each syllable.

“I’m sorry fer gettin’ a bit uppity there… it wasn’t fair to you, and I own it completely.”

Stella reached forward and took Fredrick’s cool hand back in hers, running her thumbs over his knuckles and veins—cartographing his features.

She was a degenerate who enjoyed hand-holding.

“But please trust me when I say this, Fred: I'm okay. It was nothing huge. I wasn’t wounded, nopony died, and I wasn’t assaulted. I can take care of it m’self, aye?”

Her volume petered out into barely a measurable whisper as she drew herself in closer to him.

“There’s no need to make waves where there’s no current. Hmm?”

Stella flashed him her pearly whites, which were much more visible in the dark along with her eyes. She also fluttered those eyes invitingly for a single second.

It gave her, in Fred’s likening, almost a Cheshire Cat look.

Well, if he ever wanted to fuck the Cheshire Cat.

He didn’t.

And despite his initial reservations when they had just woken up, Fredrick was simply never able to say ‘no’ to that beautiful face.

With great care showing through his own eyes, Fredrick smirked back and nodded.

He then planted a kiss on the back of Stella's hand for good measure before he delivered his final acquiescence:

“Okay, cutie.”

Both parties breathed internal sighs of relief. DEFCON 5 was restored.

Stella suddenly looked unsure at his words, but Fred's fears proved unfounded in that regard.

“Eeeehhhhh… not so sure how I feel about that pet name.”

A smug grin overtook her features. Normalcy had finally made its grand return.

“I personally prefer when ye call me ‘beautiful.’

“...or ‘fuckin so hot you melt me heart and milk me dick,’” Stella presented a more feasible alternative.

Fredrick could not help but giggle at that, and that in turn earned shushed, albeit jovial laughter out of Stella.

Once that died down, Stella beckoned Fred’s face forth in the darkness.

“C’mere, you,” she whispered, and she reacquainted Fredrick’s lips with hers in a chaste, tired kiss.

T’was not long, nor deep… but it was the final token of appreciation to one another that manifested as a silent measure of perfect content—they were cool.

They separated with a soundless smack, and Fredrick uttered:

“Okay fiiiiiine. You’re lame. I'll find better names than ‘cutie.’”

“Fuckin’ right you will!”

Stella then lay back down on her right side and, after tossing off the covers to reveal her in basic bra and panties, she peeked over her own shoulder.

“Spoon me?”

Fred’s eyes lit up in the darkness at Stella’s invitation, as a Jehovah's Witness would a barely-willing ear.

“Fuck yeah, of course!”

As if Fred needed any extra beckoning, Stella slapped her left asscheek twice—the guided flightpath to the aircraft that was his crotch.

Having already been divested of his shirt and pants, Fred scooted up right behind Stella and nestled his boxers-clad crotch into Stella's rear.

Then, he wrapped his left arm around her tummy whilst leaving his right to drape around the mare’s head.

He gripped through the small layer of fat, and felt up the firmness of her steel abs he found so pleasing and erotic.

However, as would expected of her, Stella had a tweak to the game plan.

Grinning devilishly and grasped Frederick’s wrist, she led it on a small journey to her covered left breast.

“That's better,” Stella cooed.

Fredrick had learned well from his recent past and decided not to question the action. He instead opted to just idly squeeze and fondle Stella’s half-bosom; not enough to arouse but to… relax.

Fred called upon some of his strategic reserves of confidence, and slipped his left hand under the cup of her bra.

The web of his middle digits found her small, tender, soft nipple and encased it in its own embrace as his fingers went back to idly groping.

And the batpony’s rhythmic purring through her easing breathing told him all he needed to know regarding his performance.

He pressed his face into the back of her mane.

“This is nice…” he whispered.

Stella nodded, and Fredrick used the small bout of silence to relish in the feeling.

The ingress of the mountainous night air served to cool their burning skin off, while their bodies mingled as intimately as they were did well to heat them back up. The perfect temperature was achieved with the small, sensual act of snuggling and tender fondling.

Equilibrium was restored.

“Sure is, mate…” Stella replied, scooting herself further into Fredrick’s hold.

Sometimes, no matter the personality, Stella had to internally admit that there was no substitute for getting coddled and pampered.

Fredrick, though his eyes had long shut by then, had little ability to contain the ever-expansive smile that chiseled its way onto his face.

“Good,” he whispered, taking a whiff of Stella’s clean mane in his face.

“As long as you’re happy Stel’, I’m thrilled.”

Though Fredrick couldn’t see nor feel it, Stella herself had little choice in the matter of the ‘smiles’ department at those words, either.

Tartarus be damned, she tried to retreat further into Fredrick’s hold but to little avail—they were already completely flushed. Thankfully, Fredrick got the message, and he lay his left leg over hers, which was a suitable alternative.

Stella exhaled audibly, her eyes also closed.

“At the risk of pukin’ due tae sap…

“I love the way you treat me, Fredrick.”

Fredrick had to stop himself cold from letting instinct take over and utter ‘And I love you…’

In a quick mental quarrel, he knew for a fact that he’d catch feelings quickly for this girl. It was like flies and honey, if the honey were also made with double-stuffed Oreos and molasses.

A mental block rightfully and responsibly played the role of Professor Oak, and reprimanded him for this moment ‘not being the time to use that.’

A compromised response between his heart and logical reasoning was thusly reached:

“And I, you. Besides, I get a kick out of it when you get all emotional like this…”

Stella gripped Fredrick’s calf in her legs and clamped down on him like a hydraulic press. He hissed in playful pain.

She then remarked with little weight:

“Shut up, fuckwit. Fukkin’ rip yer bollocks off an’ use ‘em as bolos.”

“Hah!” he chuckled.

“Goodnight to you, too, babe.”

Soon enough though, Fredrick’s fondling and Stella’s purring had died out into silence as the two of them let their eyes fully shutter for the remainder of the night. They drifted back off to Luna’s realm in each other’s hold with perhaps a little more understanding about their relationship.

And in the end, Fredrick figured that despite his earlier pride, this technically counted as their first quarrel as a couple?

Or maybe it didn’t.

Regardless of the fact, the two decided to drop it and fall asleep with each other.

All things considered, that was probably the best option available for now.

17. [Clop] Sabre-brand Bonding

Author's Note

I lied about the clop not being here.

Was not gonna get the entire monolith of a chapter out before Christmas.

So, merry early Christmas to you all!

17. [Clop] Sabre-brand Bonding

The next morning in Thestralshire crept in with all but a peep, as Fredrick slept through any first rays of light that happened through the peak-less mountain. His earlier rise during the night assured that he slept as well as Stella normally did.

Darkness was gradually overtaken by its arch nemesis, but only so much as allowed by the natural, thick cloud layer. Fred’s eyes fluttered, and the dimness of the room, combined with what little light entered from outside, left him to believe that it was still early morning… but a narrowed glance towards the wall which played host to the clock contradicted this assessment quite profoundly, when the hands read ‘11:34.’

His groggy gaze—with the rest of his body still bundled snuggly under the weight of two comforters on Stella’s bed—shifted back towards the window. Rain diligently continued to pour outside, though at a more modest precipitation than last night. No lightning was present—just a rainstorm for the ages.

He never got wake-up calls like these very often in California, that was for sure.

The rain continued to patter against the roof of the Sabre household, and with nothing pressing in the morning and early noon despite Stella’s and Sveta’s assurances of an ‘exciting day,’ Fredrick was more than content to go back to sleeping in his little warren.

He took a deep breath, breathing in the soft smell of fresh linens and his sleeping partners light, early-morning sweet musk, and allowed his eyes to close once more.

However, there were some first things to do, first.

Stella lay right next to him, curled up into a Scottish, thestral ball of hate and perpetual inebriation under the covers. She faced Fredrick directly and, with her mouth ever so slightly slack with the tiniest of rhythmic snores emanating from within…

…well, even in this fatigued state, Fredrick wished his phone camera was nearby. Her morning breath had a hint of Thestral Crème on it.

The aforementioned ‘first thing’ to do was to scoot himself closer to his marefriend. A dopey, tired smile was brought to Fred’s face at the sight, and he wasted little time in rectifying the gross error of distance while they were asleep.

Fredrick took Stella into his arms, pulling her body against his just so he could feel closer to her… but more importantly, to siphon off her heat so he could be just that extra roasty-toasty.

Now, Fredrick was never one to fawn over the cutsey things in life. Cat videos and the like just never did it for him…

…but when Stella mindlessly, and in her sleep, shifted so she could latch onto Fred's neck and pull herself closer… well, it just wasn’t possible to keep his heart from melting.

And as Stella murmured and cuddled into his embrace, Fredrick internally remarked how, even while sleeping, she looked positively gorgeous.

Sexy, even.

The way her bra hugged her chest, along with the position of her biceps which squeezed her bosom invitingly… it was a perfect compliment to that smooth face of hers and that toned tummy. And in the end, he couldn’t help himself.

Fredrick slid a hand around and between the two of them and placed his palm against her hot tummy, feeling the relaxed muscle beneath. He drew two fingers up her side, then circled her cute little navel, and furthered their trek upwards.

Stella sighed out in her sleep, but ever so slightly stirred at the admittedly nice contact.

Fredrick began to wake up more and more as his actions had the intended reaction from his barely-sleeping marefriend. A lightness in his stomach grew that much more prominent as he decided to test his luck even further.

He traced his fingers downward, below her navel and stopped right at the hem of her panties. Fredrick gathered his initiative for a brief moment and—after tugging at said hem to gauge the elasticity—nestled his hand into their embrace.

He was instantly in contact with Stella’s most sensitive area—her lean, taut lower abdomen was the catalyst for a massive egress of blood flow down to his own nether regions. His sweatpants did little to hide this fact, but Fredrick wasn’t particularly concerned about this.

He was much more concerned with waking up Stella in the best way possible. So, he ventured just a smidge lower, and the tips of his fingers brushed against her delicate lower lips.

Fredrick grinned as he finally met his prize, and he traced the tip of his middle finger from end to end of her tight slit. He drew a straight line from just below her clit that he knew was begging to be stimulated, down to the base.

Stella murmured in her sleep, and her once-delicate, rhythmic breathing became labored and heavy.

And to be fair, so did Fred’s.

Before long as he continued his probing, delicate ministrations, his middle finger gradually became damp… and then wet, and eventually slick. Stella’s shuddering as her eyes fluttered corroborated that she was definitely enjoying this… and Fredrick silently wondered how this tiny onset of pleasure was manifesting itself in her dreams.

Fredrick lined his middle and ring finger up with her slit, and gingerly spread her lips. Her dampness had quickly spread over her entire mound, and soon enough, half of his fingers were properly lubricated in Stella’s nectar.

“Mhn… F-Fred?” Stella murmured as she stirred fully, sleep still hung heavy on her eyelids. She turned her head up to look at the human whom she was holding close…

…but was instantly woken up when she distinctly felt a familiar set of fingers hilt themselves inside her.

“Ahhh!... Mmmm…” she softly moaned at the partial fullness.

“Good morning, Stel’,” Fredrick’s own teasing voice greeted back.

Stella bit her lip at the unexpected, but most welcome intrusion into her most vulnerable depths. She the altered her position so she was laying atop of Fredrick with her butt nestled tightly between his legs, allowing him full access to her.

And without any beckoning from the human, she spread her legs wide over his.

She then glanced up at him over her shoulder and smiled brightly—her eyes practically radiated happiness at this sudden, surprise molestation.

“Mmm… this is a good morning…” Stella teased, gyrating her hips to let her coltfriend’s fingers feel more at home within her. At the same time, she made sure to press her ass directly into his diamond-hard dick.

Fredrick then graced that one special, sensitive spot inside her, and the batpony involuntarily let herself groan out a tad too loud.

“Shh-shh-shhh…” Fredrick cooed into her ear with a giggle. “Look at the time, everyone’s awake,” he warned.

Stella pursed her lips to prevent another groan from flying out of her mouth when Fredrick curled his fingers upward, pressing them against her upper wall.

She leaned her head back and pressed her muzzle into Fredrick’s neck, breathing heavily and nipping at his sensitive skin—the human continued to (infuriatingly slowly) piston his fingers into her wholly aroused flower.

She shuddered harshly at the feeling, and her heavy breathing mixed with her involuntary reaction to produce an incredibly sexy whine that Fredrick would beg to hear again and again.

“Ahhh~… Mmmm… you’re makin’ that really fuckin’ hard right now… What’s the occasion?”

Fredrick smirked, and by reflex, pressed his crotch further into Stella’s naked ass to get in on some measure of the action. This only spurred him on further, and Fredrick ceased his ministrations momentarily to spread his fingers apart with in her. Thus, he opened her up to the room and an audience of nopony, but the stretching on either side of her walls forced Stella to bite her tongue lest she emit a less-than dignified groan out for anypony to investigate.

From how his fingers felt at the sudden exposure to room-temperature air, he realized how drenched his digits were.

Fredrick took the tip of Stella’s ear into his mouth and nibbled down on its fluffy point. Such an action—to his surprise—garnered a hitch in the mare’s throat.

“No occasion… just tryin’ to be a bit more spontaneous, I guess,” he said. But then promptly re-inserted his fingers into her… that is, with a third finger in the form of his ring finger in-line. He purposefully stretched Stella out and the reaction was immediate.

“Gaaahhh~!” Stella moaned at the combination of mild pain overshadowed by a much more powerful rush of pleasure to her core.

Fredrick also decided to add an extra layer of truth to it, considering how receptive Stella was being to his sudden advances:

“Plus, I’ve got a hot-ass marefriend. Might as well take advantage of that,” he said while spreading his three fingers apart ever so slightly.

Stella’s mouth had fallen open with a subtle ‘o’ in her lips, and her eyes had already fluttered shut under Fredrick’s no-way-unwelcome touch. Her own hands gripped his bare legs with a strength reserved for when she would refuse to let him out of her sight… but being in the throes of just enough pleasure to drench herself (though not enough to get her off) instinctively moved her hands towards her two breasts.

“Aye?” she questioned with a sultry whine. “And ye like stretchin’ me pussy like that, huh?”

Fredrick also relished in the moment and closed his eyes. He continued to consciously breathe heavily onto Stella’s ear, which served to amplify her feelings as well as allow him to keep whispering sexy nothings to her.

He softly replied:

“Yeah… and I also realized you’ve been doing all the work with things like this. I need to enjoy my toys more often…” he followed up.

However, Fredrick replayed that last line he uttered to her over and over again in his head. And he wanted to shoot himself for how retardedly corny that sounded… but it was the best he could come up with at the spur of the moment!

The instantaneous rationalizing between different parts of his brain was interrupted when Stella giggled most-girly-like, then bit her lip and breathily groaned out.

“Yer ‘toy,’ aye? Bet you’ve been wantin’ me as yer little toy since you knew me, hmm?” Stella jabbed right back, rolling her hips all the while into Fredrick’s fingers to aid in taking them as deep as she could.

Stella’s arousal exponentiated with each hot breath Fredrick breathed into her ear, and every word that he spoke in tandem with his digits. To her, whether this was a spur-of-the-moment incident or something new to come, she was not complaining in the slightest about this somewhat-more-assertive Fredrick in bed. Being woken up with fingers inside her had been a vanilla fantasy of hers for a long time that Fredrick had unwittingly fulfilled.

As a result, the lightness in anticipation and girly giddiness had pushed Stella to the precipice of bursting… hard. If Fredrick were to suddenly fingerblast her, she would cum explosively.

Thankfully, her genuine, meaningful ruse had its intended effect as Fredrick, as he opted to continue their banter rather than go to town on her love-tunnel.

Back in reality, Fredrick’s breathing rate had increased, and Stella’s words only served to make his cramped dick smashed up against her backside impossibly harder.

“Uh huh… ever since I saw you outta your armor,” he recalled, opting to just rub Stella’s delicate, throbbing flower at the moment and earning some appreciative humming from her.

“…and I never told you how many times I whacked off to just the thought of you in those fuckin’ V-necks of yours, shit…”

It was an odd feeling of bearing some of his more private moments with himself, but Fredrick felt conflicted in the sense that in the moment, it also felt right.

Stella, for the record, seemed to agree fully with a deep, guttural, lust-driven chuckle.

“Oooh~, aye?” she asked, and then promptly begged to know: “And in me bikini too?”

Fredrick nibbled on her ear again and tugged it back towards him while simultaneously dipping his middle finger into her hot depths.

“Especially in your bikini… when you’re pretty much thrusting your tits in my face and your ass on my dick.”

Stella smirked, biting her lip.

“Was just waitin' fer you tae grow some balls and nail me against the fuckin' wall…”

Fredrick, with an agonizingly slow movement, pistoned his two fingers in and out of her. Stella's sheets were already beyond ruined at this point. The perimeter of his mouth hurt with how much he was smiling… and with a surging confidence, he tried his luck with words once again:

“Well, if I knew you were begging to get fucked like some needy slut I'd've bent you over my bed ages ago!”

That did it for Stella, and with wide, dilated pupils and a carnal snarl, she yanked Fredrick's hands out of her and turned herself around so she could have access to Fred's boxers.

“Fuck this, come on, mate…” she resigned, feeding Fredrick's diamond dick through the hole in his boxers. It throbbed as hard as her own slit and was standing ready for her to do as she would.

She ripped her bra off and straddled Fred's waist, much to his abject, pleasant shock.

“Fuck me. Come on… Nice, hard, and quick! Just fer the ‘needy slut’ I am,” she demanded, taking all the liberties in lining herself up.

Fredrick was paralyzed for a moment, and Stella roused his attention back into reality when she gyrated her hips in circles, and the head of Fred’s cock had barely penetrated her. He slid his hands up her toned quads and her waist as he did a quick sweep of her entire body while Stella awaited a response.

Her powerful legs held him dutifully in place, while her heavy breathing drew particular attention to her toned, clenched abs under her coat, erotically surrounding that little navel of hers. Between her legs rested her mound, and the very bottoms of her lower lips that were engulfing the tip of his dick just begging to be ravaged. Stella’s chest heaved with every breath she took… her full breasts, always more than a handful, hung above Fred’s face like the most succulent of fruits just waiting to be picked, with pert nipples demanding to be suckled.

Her lean, muscular arms pinned his upper body to her bed, and finally, Fred’s eyes locked with those of Stella’s… few times in his life had he been just as aroused as he was now, merely by gazing beyond the glinting surface of those predatorial orbs of hers.

Stella, wordlessly, did well to remind Fredrick that he was no longer in charge.

“…your family is out there probably awake,” Fredrick attempted one more chance at reason to convince himself and her that this was probably not the keenest of ideas.

And as expected, his words fell on deaf ears with the effectiveness of a single raindrop in an ocean of lust.

She hissed:

“I dunnae give a fuck if the princesses themselves hear!”

Stella lowered herself until her butt pressed flush against Fredrick’s thighs, hilting him entirely into her molten depths. Both inhaled deeply at the sudden feeling of being connected so closely… so naughtily. Their heartbeats quickly found synchronization in their loins, where Fredrick’s dick could feel each and every beat from her walls, while Stella once again found favor in just how perfectly Fredrick could fill her.

Fredrick could not afford to close his eyes and not bear complete witness to the goddess above him, but Stella did not have that luxury. Her eyes fluttered closed once they were joined together, but only just now did they open back up and reveal the deep-seeded amore that Fredrick found so intoxicating.

He let his head fall against the pillow at the feeling of being completely enveloped.

“Oh fuck…” he murmured.

Stella was not in any better straits, and her mouth hung ajar as she adjusted herself to dick rather than fingers.

“Mhmmm~,” she groaned in return, and without any grand commencement, she began rocking her hips into him.

Fredrick felt his dick venture deeper into her on every stroke forward… but this was eventually replaced when Stella found her rhythm.

The thestral mare revealed those dilated, golden pools of predatorial lust and honed in on Fredrick’s own eyes… she wordlessly conveyed her true desires that she she was only able to touch on with her spoken words.

She would have her satisfaction.

They both would.

Stella shifted her hands to his shoulders, gripped him tightly enough where Fredrick felt she would leave bruises, and began bouncing on his cock.

“Fuck…. Ah~... fuck… fuck…” she huffed out on every single, rhythmic downstroke.

Fredrick, likewise, was drowning more and more in a sea of pleasure, and he emitted a teeny groan in tandem with Stella, though by virtue of volume, he was much more concerned with drawing unneeded attention to their actions.

“Oh god… Stella try to keep it down…” he cautioned with a less-than-convincing moan.

Both of his hands held Stella squarely by her hips, though he was halfway enticed to latch onto those tits of hers… breasts that were bouncing and rolling hypnotically with every single plunge downward.

Stella’s own whining never ceased, and she was pulling exactly zero punches in an effort to bring both of them to release, as she applied no other technique to her sexual trade. She only tightened her grip on Fredrick’s shoulders and stared straight into his eyes while her mouth hung open.

“Dun’ worry, love… mmm! Fuck yeah… we won’t be here long,”

In an effort to finish the both of them off as quickly as possible, Fredrick bucked his hips upward every time Stella brought herself down from the top of her bounce.

“Ahh… goddamnit it's gonna be quicker for me if you keep rocking like that, Stel’,” Fred was able to breathe out.

Stella bit her lip and concentrated her entire effort into her lower half, swivelling her hips as she impaled herself like she was some exotic dancer.

“Aye?” she ventured. “You like when I rock me hips like this, huh?”

Fredrick nodded with his own look of pent-up, borderline aggressive arousal.

“Yeah…” he groaned, then pushed his dick straight up into her as she came down, making her take his entire length and then some. “‘Bout time you’re on top, too!” he couldn’t resist.

Stella barely caught the moan in her throat that threatened to blurt out once Fredrick damn near tried to kiss her cervix—he’d never get there, but the thought for her was erotic beyond her wildest imaginations.

She did, however, manage to laugh pitifully in an attempt to mask another whine of ecstacy.

“Hah! Ya only like me on top so ye can watch me tits bounce as I bounce...” she retaliated by swallowing Fredrick’s dick whole whens he pressed her ass down flush against him. “...on this fuckin’ hard cock!”

Fred nearly lost himself to the throes of a premature orgasm with Stella’s surprise, but he had enough sense to take the implicit invitation and suddenly slide his hands up her body… and grab two complete handfuls of her bouncing breasts.

"Guilty as charged!"

He squeezed them nice and tightly, digging his fingers into the soft, yet firm flesh while letting her hardened, aching nipples poke through between his digits.

And he also gave those a hard pinch.

Her jaw clenched shut, as did her eyes as she went ramrod.

“FUCK I’m cumming!” Stella hissed out so pointedly with little care and restraint, and the sudden vice-like constriction around his cock soon found Fredrick shooting his seed deep up and into Stella’s needy depths much unexpectedly.

But then again, she did have that power over him.

Both snarled at the sudden, shared orgasm, and the two twitched and wrung each other out with three sharp, residual thrusts into one another. And then the deep, heavy breathing took over. The two hyperventilated to each other, basking in the afterglow of their near-noon quickie. Gone was the cool atmosphere of a Thestralshire morning, instead replaced by a heavy, humid air in Stella’s sealed room that held a distinct odor of sex.

Stella was the first to garner enough strength to speak. Her bangs had matted to her forehead and she brushed them out of her vision to gaze down at Fredrick—she was more than keen to keep Fredrick’s softening dick inside her, rather than uncork his little ‘tribute’ right now.

“Fuuuck~ me fud’s sore… god can ye wake me up like that… hah… every day, love?” she almost pleaded.

Fredrick continued catching his breath before his response came.

“May… heh… may have to get creative or it’ll get boring…”

Stella giggled that special giggle reserved after being ravished just right.

“Hehe, well, I fer one—”

Stella’s door creaked open, garnering both sets of attention at an instant with equally wide eyes.

Vona, dressed casually in a thin, turquoise, long-sleeved shirt and pants, stood completely deadpan in the hallway with a stack of folded clothes in her arms.

She rolled her eyes.

“Oh fer fuck’s sake ye two... don’t ya have better times tae dig the fuckin’ well, mates? It’s fuckin’ noon!” she complained, entering into Stella’s abode as if she were just scolding a naughty child.

And totally not like Stella was naked atop of Fredrick with his dick still lodged inside her. Both sets of eyes remained wide and trained, horrified, on Vona as she set the aforementioned folded garments on Stella’s dresser.

She sniffed, flaring her nostrils.

“And at least open a goddamn window!” she continued to whinge, nearly bounding for the only small window in Stella’s room and throwing it open. Cool, rainy air rushed in and chilled the intimate lovers to the bone with immediate goosebumps.

“Smells like fuckin'… day-old fud an’ poor life choices in here!” the older, wiser, flatter-chested version of Stella kept on ranting.

Finally, Stella had overcome her shock enough to seethe out:

“Mum… can ye please get the fuck out of me room?!”

Vona turned on her heels to Stella and regarded her with wide, scolding eyes and an inherited, snaggle-fanged frown. And—in another bout of brazenness that would ensure death to anypony but Schiavona herself—the older mare then gripped Stella by her ear and yanked her entire upper body back.

Stella yelped most-undignified.

“How about ya don't fuckin’ talk tae me like that in front of dear Fredrick, ye disrespectful failure of an abortion… I’ll flagellate ye with me fuckin’ tail!” she declared with a pointed index finger into Stella's pained face.

Fredrick had never seen Stella lower herself and shy away from confrontation. Ever.

There was a first time for everything.

Furthermore, that lone act had allowed his now-flaccid dick to remove itself from Stella and plop to the side like a discarded, poorly made sausage.

Vona’s natural expression bounced back and her motherly tone returned as she brought Stella’s cheek in for an exaggerated, torturous kiss. She then released her.

“MWAH! I washed yer favorite shirts! Makin’ yer favorite cookies tonight, too! There's an entire batch just fer you, love!”

“Mum…” Stella quietly (yet respectfully) simmered.

Fredrick had absolutely no words, and Vona took every advantage to seize upon it in order to satisfy her curiosity.

She gazed at what had finally slipped out of Stella’s nethers. Her expression again morphed… this time into one of genuine, unexpected surprise.

“Huh… well caress me cunt an’ call me Cadence… so that’s what it looks like…” she spoke, impressed. “Good on ye, Stel’!”

She bobbed her head, still impressed, and moved to exit, but all parties found an interested Sveta peeking in from just around the door frame.

“Ooh! Can I see?!”

Stella, however, had zero qualms with addressing her in her usual fashion.

“Nah, but ye can go hang yerself with yer fuckin’ tampon… get the fuck outta me room!”

Sveta, naturally, was not going to take that lying down… and Fredrick remained silent and caught in the middle as Vona made her exit as casually as she entered with a simple wave and a sing-song:

“See ya later, masturbators!”

Sveta cut in:

“Fuuuuck off, Stella! I’m not the one who mounted the fuckin’ cock carousel at midday without a fuckin’ gag soundin’ like a four-bit nightwalker, you cunt!” Sveta shot back.

“At least I have a cock carousel tae mount, unlike you an’ yer derelict fuckin’ wind-cavern ye call a ‘vagina!’ Go on then!” Stella gestured harshly down the hall. “Piss off!”

Sveta skipped down the hall with a single middle finger thrust through the door.

Stella took a deep breath and recited a small mental cue to calm herself down. She then glanced down at Fredrick, who was practically petrified.

“I… am so sorry about that,” she apologized, placing a hand on his chest.

Fredrick, in turn, could only manage a sigh and a gentle shake off his head. His far off stare and smirk just bordering the fringes of laughter conveyed the ridiculousness of it all.

“You know… I’m…” Fredrick lost his words at the thought again. “I don’t even know, man. Somehow, I expected that to happen.”

Stella finally climbed off of Fredrick and lay beside him, arms folded behind her head as the two of them stared at the ceiling. They were still, respectively, stark and semi-naked, and the mare’s door remained wide open.

Neither cared at this point.

“Well I sure as shite didn’t,” Stella replied, then considered the context of what exactly just happened. “Still, pretty fuckin’ funny if I might say. At least we’ve got a story tae tell.”

Fredrick finally let himself start giggling.

“Heh, yeah. Figures, huh?”

Stella grinned evilly and waggled her digits on her right hand in front of Fredrick's face.

"More like fingers amirite, mate?"

"PFFT! Okay, that was terrible."

Stella had had enough, and bounded out of bed. Her butt played host to the tiniest wobble as she skipped excitedly over to her towel.

“Bah, in all seriousness, I’ve had worse happen! No sense in whingin’ about it. Now come on! Tonight’s gonna be the highlight of the fuckin’ week!”

Stella beamed as she wrapped her top half in her towel, and drummed her hooves excitedly on the floor.

“Sveta an’ I ‘re takin’ you to the Craterian Rain Baths!”