The Friendship Contest

by Lucky Seven

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Starlight Glimmer, Comedy, Random, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 5084

Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer compete for Twilight Sparkle's attention.

Sunset Shimmer is coming back to Equestria. Unbeknownst to her, Twilight Sparkle has a new pupil, one that she hopes she'll become fast friends with.

Unfortunately, Starlight and Sunset have a better idea.

A collab with the amazing Flutterpriest. You should definitely go check out his other work, he's amazing!

Take this story seriously at your own risk.

Published 2016-06-17 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-17 01:20:01 UTC

The Friendship Contest

Author's Note

Flutterpriest: Hey Seventh, Wanna write something stupid?

Seventh: Of course I do!

And then this happened.

The Friendship Contest

Twilight’s head perked up from the piece of parchment she held in her hooves.

“Sunset Shimmer is coming back to Equestria!” she cried happily.

Starlight Glimmer, sitting across the cutie map from Twilight, stared at her oddly.

“Who’s Sunset Shimmer?” she asked.

“Oh! She’s my other student. Haven’t I ever mentioned her?”

“Uh, no? You’ve never mentioned her before,” she said, suddenly feeling self conscious. “Should I know about her? Who is she?”

Twilight paused, unsure of where to even begin.

“Well, she used to be one of Celestia’s students, but then went through a magical mirror to a world of humans. Then, she came back to Equestria to steal my Tiara after I became a Princess. Long story short, we’re friends now and she’s my student that lives in a far away land that I rarely talk about,” she said in one long breath.

Starlight stared at Twilight, her mouth hanging open.

“Wait, back up a sec. What’s a human?” she said.

A knock on the huge doors of Twilight’s castle broke the tension in the air.

“Well, would you look at that! That’s probably her right now! This will be a fantastic friendship lesson for you both! She used to be evil too! No offense.”

“None taken,” Starlight said in a rehearsed tone.

Twilight spread her wings and took to the air, exiting the room with Starlight galloping behind. The two mares approached the doors of the castle and opened the doors wide. On the other side was a pony that Starlight Glimmer could have taken as her opposite. She had a light peach colored coat and a fire red mane with streaks of yellow. Or was it yellow with red stripes?

“Hey, Twilight!” Sunset said, trotting into the castle. Extending a hoof, she tripped and fell on her face, eliciting giggles from the girls. “Stupid hooves. Why can’t they work like legs?”

Twilight recomposed herself and cleared her throat.

“I’m so happy to see you Sunset. And I’d like to introduce you to my new student, Starlight Glimmer,” she said, waving a hoof to the purple pony beside her.

Sunset eyed Starlight up and down carefully, as if she were an exotic fruit at a supermarket that she couldn’t tell was ripe or not.

“Nice… to meet you?” Sunset said. “I suppose this means we’re classmates, huh?”

“Yeah,” Starlight chuckled nervously. “I guess so…”

“See! I just knew you two would get along!” Twilight said. “Both of you are such talented unicorns that I’m sure you two would be able to learn from each other.”

Nearby, the door to the kitchen swings open, as a baby purple dragon waddles out, carrying a massive bowl of different flavors of ice cream.

“Is that… Spike?” asked Sunset.

“Yep! That’s me!” Spike said, turning to the girls with a spoon in hand. “Oh hey! It looks like the two students finally met!”

“That’s right!” Twilight said happily. “I’m sure they’ll be best of friends.”

“Yeah, especially since they’re both your students. Just be sure not to pick a favorite between the one who trapped you in a time paradox until she surrendered and the one you were only able to beat because the Elements were still a thing.”

Spike turned around without a second thought and waddled deeper into the castle to enjoy his sundae as Twilight turned back to her students with sudden horror.

“... Which I know my wonderfully reformed students would never do!” she chuckles nervously.

“But Spike does bring up an interesting point,” Sunset said, turning to Twilight.

“About what?” Twilight asks in worry.

“Who’s the favorite student?” Sunset asked.

“That is an interesting thought,” Starlight added. “I’ve been Twilight’s pupil for awhile, but I’ve never been graded on my progress or anything. So I have no idea how I’m actually doing as a student.”

The two girls approached Twilight and stared her down, Twilight backed away, a bead of sweat running down her forehead.

“I… uh. Well this is a Pass or Fail course. And both of you are passing! So there’s nothing to worry about. There’s no way to do better or worse at friendship!”

“Except, there kinda has to be,” Sunset said. “Or else, why are you the Princess of Friendship.”

“Am I the better student?” Starlight asked.

Twilight stopped and stood her ground, flaring her wings to the two mares.

“That’s enough. I’m not going to choose a favorite student between you two. Both of you have amazing strengths and have a lot of lessons to still learn. Instead of competing with each other, you should work together to accomplish more than you ever would alone. In fact,” she says, an idea springing to mind. “That’s your assignment for today. You two should work together to learn more about each other. Now go! Make the friendship happen.”

Silence fell over the three mares as Twilight stood tall, proud of herself.

“Um, alright,” Starlight said, turning to the doors.

“If you say so,” Sunset added, following Starlight through the doors and out into the streets of Ponyville.

Starlight Glimmer turned her nose up at Sunset as they walked out into the sunlight. “Hmph. Twilight is a fool if she thinks that you’ll make as many friends as me.”

“Ugh, what’s your problem?” Sunset growled. “Do you just try to pick fights with everyone?”

“Only when they try to steal my teacher away from me!”

“I’m not trying to ‘steal Twilight’,” Sunset shot back. “I don’t even know how somepony like you became her pupil anyways. You probably don’t have any idea how to make friends!”

“And you do?”

“A lot better than you!”

“Wanna bet?!” Starlight shouted, getting in Sunset’s face. Their horns locked for a moment, and she snorted angrily. “I can make more friends in an hour than you could make in a week!”

“You’re on!” Sunset smirked, not bothering to distance herself from her newfound rival. “Whoever has the most friends after an hour wins!”

“Deal!” Starlight yelled back, turning away from Sunset and trotting off towards the town. “I hope you’re used to losing, because there’s no way you can possibly beat me.”

“We’ll see about that…”

Starlight trotted through Ponyville’s marketplace, her eyes scanning over the crowd of ponies. The only ponies that were standing still were those with goods for sale, so she settled on searching for one of them to befriend. Luckily, it didn’t take long for her to spot the perfect candidate. She had seen this pony around town, and she knew just how loved she was. ‘Alright, Starlight,’ she assured herself, ‘you can do this.’

She beamed as she pranced over to the pony in question, her tone chipper as she spoke. “Hello, Roseluck!”

The middle sister of the flower trio looked up from her stall, and offered Starlight a half-smile. “O-oh. H-hello, Starlight.”

‘Alright, Starlight, make conversation. Just like Twilight taught you to,’ she reminded herself. Chatting it up with ponies she wasn’t familiar with came with no small amount of trouble for the formerly evil unicorn. “So, um, what are you doing?”

“Um… selling flowers?” Roseluck replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “What else would I be doing?”

Starlight chuckled nervously. ‘Okay… maybe that wasn’t the best question to try and start a conversation with.’

“O-oh, right. Silly me. How’s business?” She asked. A-ha! That was the perfect question to ask her! Now she’d be sure to—

“Okay, I guess,” the flower pony shrugged, turning away to organize some flowers. When she turned back, she gave Starlight an inquisitive look. “Not to be rude, but what are you doing, Starlight?”

Starlight sighed. “I’m trying to make a friend, but obviously I’m failing…”

“Starlight,” Roseluck smiled, her first genuine one of the conversation, “you can’t just become friends with a pony within minutes of meeting them. Friendships take a while to forge, and it’s the forging that makes them so special!”

“Well then… why don’t we forge a friendship?” Starlight asked, leaning towards Roseluck with a big grin on her face. The flower pony laughed nervously, and backed away.

“As much as I would love to be your friend, Starlight, I don’t really think it would work out. We’re just… different.”

“‘Different?’”

“Different,” Roseluck nodded. “I like you, I do. It’s just… I don’t really know if I’m the best candidate for you to become friends with.”

“Well why not?” Starlight groaned.

“You just seem like the kind of pony that likes to be around other magically inclined ponies,” Roseluck smiled. “Isn’t The Great and Powerful Trixie your best friend?”

Starlight looked at the pony across from her sadly, but then she thought back to the conversation she had had with Twilight just a bit ago. ‘Make those friendships happen, huh?’ She thought, her mentor’s words replaying in her head. ‘Well, if that’s what Twilight wants.’

“Um, are you okay, Starlight?” Her potential friend asked.

She nodded. “I’m better than okay, Roseluck. If you won’t be my friend, then I’ll just make you into my friend!”

Roseluck’s eyes turned to pinpricks at that, and all she could manage to say was, “U-um, what do you mean by that?”

Starlight’s horn began to glow a bright blue, and she cackled. “This won’t hurt at all, Rosie, I just need to rewrite your memories a little bit. Then we can be the best friends ever!”

But she didn’t get the chance, as the Earth pony gasped and took off in a full-gallop, knocking her entire stand over in the process. “Ahh!!! Starlight Glimmer is back to her evil ways! Everypony panic!”

Starlight froze, and she could feel the stares of everypony in the marketplace on her. “Eh, hehe,” she chuckled nervously. “I was just… um…” Without giving an actual answer, her horn burst alight and she disappeared in a flash of light, reappearing on the other side of town. “Okay, Starlight, hold it together…”

She let out a sigh, and smacked her hooves against her forehead in frustration. “Ugh. Stupid, stupid, stupid!” She cried out. “You can’t just force somepony to be your friend, Starlight!”

‘I wonder how Sunset is doing…’

Sunset Shimmer sat in the waiting room of the hospital in Ponyville quietly, scanning around the room at the various ponies with her.

‘Who will be my first friend?’ she thought to herself.

Her eyes spotted an old pony with a priestly collar around his neck, snoozing in the corner.

‘No… I think he’s a bit too old for me.’

Resuming her search, she then spotted a small teal maned filly playing with blocks on the floor.

‘And that one’s a bit too young. I’d be the creepiest person, erm, pony in Equestria if I just approached a filly and asked to be her friend,’ she thought. Then, she paused. ‘Wait a second. This is Equestria though. It’s nothing like Earth at all. Maybe I can make friends with a filly. I might even get extra points for cuteness.’

Sunset thought to herself for a second, then shook her head preferring to find someone she could actually hold some sort of conversation with. Her eyes moved to the last remaining patient in the room, who had grey fur, a glorious blonde mane and the wings of a pegasus.

‘Now she seems nice,’ she thought to herself.

Then, the mare turned around, sporting two eyes that looked at different corners of the room at the same time.

‘Actually… no. Does that make me a bad person? I’m a terrible person. Erm, Pony. Dang it.’

“Miss Shimmer?” called the Nurse from behind the counter. “The doctor will see you now for your checkup.”

Rising to her hooves, Sunset trotted to the nurse and followed her back to a room where she waited on a table with an itchy white paper on top of it. The nurse close the door and trotted away, saying somepony would check on her shortly. She sat awkwardly, her hind legs dangling off the bed like she was used to on Earth.

A light knock on the grabbed her attention as a white pony with a light pink mane trotted inside the room.

“Hello, Miss Shimmer!” she said in an enthusiastic voice. “I’m here to-”

She pauses, staring at her seating position.

“Uhm,” Sunset said. “This is totally normal, isn’t it?”

Nurse Redheart looked down at her clipboard and then back up at the pony.

“Well, it’s not unusual but it’s certainly not what I’m used to. Very few ponies are double-jointed like that. Anyway! My name is Nurse Redheart, and I’m here to take your vitals before the doctor sees you.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Sunset says with a smile.

“Now then, what brings you to Ponyville, Sunset?” the nurse asked, strapping a cuff onto one of Sunset’s hooves.

“Oh, well. Uh. It’s a long story. Let’s just say I came from very far away to see a friend.”

“There’s nothing like catching up with old friends, is there?” the nurse replied, squeezing the pump to check her blood pressure. “And why did you stop into the clinic?”

Sunset paused. She actually hadn’t thought this far ahead.

“Let’s say I’ve felt… outside of my own body lately?” she said, unsure of her own vague excuse.

“Ah, so lots of aches and pains?” she said.

“Yeah. Totally,” she said in faux confidence.

“It’s alright, I understand,” the nurse said with a smile. “You seem like a nice pony. Say ‘Aah.’”

“Aah-” was all Sunset could say before the nurse shoved a thermometer in her mouth.

‘This pony seems nice,’ Sunset thought to herself. ‘This would be a great first friend to make in Ponyville. She could make Twilight proud and even show up Starlight on her first day in town. This would be great!’

“98.7 degrees,” Nurse Redheart said, pulling out the device. “Average.”

“Hey, uh. This may seem weird…” Sunset Shimmer said, looking away from the Nurse. “But would you be interested in having dinner with some friends and I tonight?”

Nurse Redheart’s eyes widened and she took a step back. Sunset looked up happily, excited at her chance to make a friend.

“Well, uh. Actually I have plans tonight. With a stallion. You know how it is. Uh. I’ll let the doctor know you’re ready.”

Sunset Shimmer screamed inside her head. ‘No!’ she thought. ‘She can’t get away, not now! How else would she show up Starlight?!’

Redheart placed a hoof on the door of the room as Sunset tried to think quickly. Her horn glowed with red magic as she pushed the door to try and keep it from opening. Sadly, the spell backfired and flung open directly at the unsuspecting Nurse.

The door collides with the Nurse face first, and she falls to the floor.

“Shoot, I killed her,” she muttered under her breath.

Sunset leapt to her hooves and closed the door quickly. She moved a hoof down to the Nurses hoof, but quickly realized she had no idea what she was doing. So, she grabbed a nearby stethoscope in a drawer and listened to the Nurse’s chest.

“Good, a heartbeat… and she’s still breathing,” she whispered.

Looking around the room, Sunset quickly unrolled a large amount of white paper that goes on the examining table and wrapped the nurse up in it. Opening the examination room, she carried the nurse burrito through the air, whistling to herself. Not a single pony batted an eye as she made her way outside.

Sunset trotted through the streets of Ponyville, whistling to herself as she eyed a familiar figure in the distance. Starlight Glimmer trotted up to Sunset, their eyes locked on each other in mild contempt.

“So, how many friends have you made today?” Starlight asked.

“Uh,” Sunset said, thinking to herself. “One.”

Starlight Glimmer’s gaze looked up to the oversized paper burrito Sunset carried in the air beside her.

“Is that the friend you made?” Starlight asked.

“No,” Sunset lied through her teeth.

“That’s a pony in there, isn’t it?”

“Maybe?” Sunset said.

“Nopony said that KIDNAPPING counted as making a friend.”

Sunset stared at Starlight Glimmer incredulously.

“I’m going to make WAY more friends than you now,” Starlight shouted before galloping off.

“No you won’t!” Sunset said, galloping in the opposite direction, storing the unconscious Nurse in a nearby bush for safe keeping.

Starlight trotted up to the building her friend worked at, anxious to see if she could help her make a friend. A bell chimed as she swung the front door open, and the pony behind the front counter greeted her with a wide smile. “Hi, Starlight!”

Starlight grinned. This was going to be too easy with this pony on her side. “Hello, Pinkie!”

“You here to order some super amazing pastries?” Pinkie beamed, holding out a tray of cupcakes towards her friend.

“Sorry, that’s not what I’m here for,” Starlight offered Pinkie a warm smile as an apology. “I was actually hoping you could help me make a friend.”

Pinkie gasped, seemingly floating in the air before plopping back down, this time on top of the display counter. “Oh my gosh, I have the perfect friend for you, Starlight!”

Starlight’s eyes went wide at that. “But… How could you possibly have the perfect friend for me already?”

“It’s my sister, you big silly willy!” Pinkie shouted happily. Starlight was unable to get in another word before her friend turned into a pink blur and quite literally dragged her upstairs to her room. “She’s in town visiting for a couple days!”

Starlight’s head banged against every step on the way up, and by the time they reached the door to Pinkie’s room, she was dazed and confused. “Wow… this sure was a great bar mitzvah, Pinkie, come again next time!” She shouted, crashing into the door and making it fly open. It took a few moments for her to regain her senses, and she took notice of a new pony as soon as she did.

“Starlight, meet Maud! Maud, Starlight!” Pinkie grinned.

“... Nice to meet you,” Maud spoke slowly. She blinked, and Starlight did the same.

“Oh my gosh, you two already have so much in common!” Pinkie said happily. “Well, I’ll leave you to it,” she added in a much calmer tone, trotting excitedly out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

Starlight didn’t dare move, and neither did Maud. The two simply stared at one another for what felt like hours.

But then Starlight noticed what Maud was holding. “Um… is that a rock?”

“This is Boulder,” Maud replied simply. “He’s my pet.”

“Um. What. You can’t have a rock as a pet, they’re not even alive!” Starlight didn’t really know why she was shouting at Maud, but nothing about this pony screamed ‘we’re going to be the best of friends.’

To her surprise, Maud chuckled, the first show of emotion from the rock farmer. “Boulder says you’re funny. I agree.”

Okay, this was too weird. Starlight needed to change the subject, and she needed to change it now. “So, um… what brings you to town?”

“My legs.”

“That’s it, I can’t do this!” Starlight cried out, slamming the door to the bedroom open and backing down the stairs expertly.

Sunset galloped through town, scanning for her next victim to take. She saw a stage in the distance and set course for the blue curtains in the distance. Next to the elaborate stage was a wagon home with painted designs of stars and moons on it’s sides. Once Sunset grew near, a blue unicorn burst out of the wagon, wearing a large purple hat and cape, adorned with the same pictures that her wagon had.

‘Isn’t that… Trixie? I recognize that pony from Earth! All I have to do is stroke her ego a little bit, and she’ll be putty in my hands. Hooves. Whatever.’

Sunset approached the stage quizzically, as Trixie approached her.

“Wow! Is some sort of magic show going to happen?” Sunset announced loudly to nopony in particular.

“Why, of course! The Great and Powerful Trixie will be having a spectacular show this evening that will shock and amaze ALL in attendance. For only two bits.”

“How exciting! Have you been a professional magician for very long?” Sunset asked. “I’ve never seen your show before.”

“Why, I’m shocked!” Trixie said. “Ponies from across the land tell great tales of the miracles of Trixie! Especially when Trixie happened to best even Princess Twilight herself!”

“You beat Princess Twilight?” Sunset asked, actually amazed. “How?”

Trixie blushed and looked away.

“It was a different time for Trixie. Trixie was consumed with thoughts of revenge for Twilight ruining her career. So, Trixie bought a magical amulet that gave her alicorn powers and consumed her with evil rage to expel Twilight from Ponyville.”

Sunset’s jaw actually dropped this time.

“Wow. I can’t believe Twilight never told me that. I mean, I’ve been her student for years and she’s never mentioned a Trixie before.”

Trixie paused, then looked at Sunset curiously.

“Wait a second. Did Trixie hear you say that you’re Twilight’s student?” she asked.

“Yeah! That’s right. I suppose I’m a bit of a magician myse-”

“Because, Trixie knows Twilight’s student,” she said. “And you definitely aren’t Starlight Glimmer. Trixie is friends with her.”

Sunset’s eyes widened and her gaze darted at her surroundings.

‘Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. This is bad. What am I going to do? If she goes with Starlight as her friend, there’s no way I’ll get more friends than her.”

Sunset quickly formed a plan on the spot.

“Hey, look over there!” she said, pointing her hoof off in the distance.

“What?” Trixie said, turning around. “Where?”

Sunset reeled back a hoof and collided it directly with her Great and Powerful face. Trixie fell to the ground instantly, knocked out.

“There. Since she’s Starlight’s friend… that should be, like, double points. Or something.”

Sunset lifted the mare up into the air and quickly deposited the body with the nurse before setting off again. She knew she had to hurry. Who knows how many friends Starlight might have had by now...

Starlight backed straight down the stairs… and right into Pinkie Pie. “Oh hi, Starlight!”

Starlight staggered forward and whirled around to see Pinkie right in her face. “Hi, Pinkie. So Maud is… something else.”

“She sure is! I bet you two are the best of friends already, aren’t ya?!”

Starlight was about to say no, but then an idea popped into her head. She grinned. “Yep, we sure are! Maud and I are the best of friends now!”

“Whoo-hoo!” Pinkie shouted, once again flying up into the air. “Your first friend!” She paused, falling slowly to the ground, a hoof on her chin in thought. “Well, aside from Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Trixie, and Pinkie! Oh wait, that’s me,” she snorted with laughter.

“Wait, we’re already friends?”

“Well of course, you big silly!”

‘Rats, that’s going to make this a lot harder…’ She groaned internally. But then another idea popped into her head, and she grinned maniacally. “Say, Pinkie Pie, could you turn around for a moment?”

“Sure, anything for you, Glim Glam!” Pinkie giggled, turning to face the front of the store.

“Perfect…” Starlight chuckled grimly, her horn lighting up. Her mind raced as she tried to remember exactly how to perform the spell she needed, and she fired it off after a few moments, the beam of light smacking into the back of Pinkie Pie’s head. ‘Good. Now with her memory of me erased, I can easily become her friend again.’

Pinkie Pie turned around, and regarded Starlight curiously. “Whoa! I’ve never seen you before, are you new in Ponyville?!”

“Um… yes?”

“Oh my gosh, welcome! My name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s yours?”

“Starlight Glimmer,” she smirked.

“Well then, Starlight Glimmer, looks like I have a party to plan!”

‘Wow, I even get a free party out of this. Amazing.’

“A party?”

“That’s right!” Pinkie Pie cried out, “the official ‘Welcome to Ponyville, Starlight Glimmer’ party!”

Starlight’s eyes went wide at that. If she threw this party, then the entire town would know what she did, and the consequences would be catastrophic. “W-wait, uh, let’s not be too hasty.”

But it was too late, and Pinkie Pie was already gone from sight.

“Ugh, how does she even do that?” Starlight groaned. ‘Well… I’m dead.’

“Okay, I’ve seriously got to stop kidnapping people. Ponies. Same difference,” Sunset said, kicking herself mentally.

She galloped over the bridge outside of a small cottage on the city limits of Ponyville. Her hooves carried her as fast as she could. Once she reached the door, she paused and knocked three times.

“Coming!” called a gentle, yet familiar voice from inside the house.

Sunset smiled, content with herself. Of course Fluttershy would be the perfect next friend to make. She was so kind that she could be friends with literally anypony.

The door opened wide and Fluttershy peeked out eagerly.

“Sunset Shimmer? Is that you?” the pegasus asked.

“That’s right!” Sunset said happily. “I can’t believe you remembered!”

“Well, it was a little hard not to, considering you stole an element of harmony and tried to lock Twilight out of Equestria forever. Honestly, I’m not sure why we don’t reference that more often,” she said, more to herself than Sunset.

Sunset nervously chuckled once more, scratching her mane with a hoof as she looked away.

“Right… Yeah. That whole… thing. Listen, Fluttershy. We’re friends. Right?” Sunset asked.

Fluttershy tilted her head, then paused.

“Well, I mean. Not really?” she replied.

“What?” Sunset asked in bewilderment.

“We’ve never actually talked before,” Fluttershy said.

“What do you mean?! We talk all the time when- Oh right, you aren’t the human,” Sunset said to herself, the dawning realization overwhelming her.

“Y-yeah,” Fluttershy said.

“Well, I know that you’re bunny’s name is angel. You love animals. You’re extremely shy but good-natured to a fault. You don’t like your brother because he’s a bum that mooches off of his parents and will never move out of the basement. You’re smart, but purposely try to not seem like it so you don’t have to go through the stress of winning an award or being in the spotlight, even if you want to win. And lastly, even though you’ve done your best to handle it, you have a terrible drooling problem when you sleep and you’re terrified that someone will find out.”

Sunset stopped to seek affirmation from Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus looked on at Sunset in utter horror. She took a step back inside her cottage.

“U-uhm… I-I think. Um. I’m going to go… now.”

“Wait, No. Fluttershy!”

“P-please don’t follow me…” she said meekly, placing a hoof on the door.

Sunset lurched forward, punching Fluttershy in the face. The element of kindness fell to the floor, knocked out.

“I’ve really gotta stop doing that,” Sunset groaned to herself.

A roar from inside Fluttershy’s house grabbed Sunset’s attention as Harry the bear stepped between Sunset and his caretaker. Sunset’s pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks as her jaw dropped.

“Uhm. Hello,” she whispered.

Sunset and Starlight burst back into the castle at the same time, seemingly engaged in some sort of slap fight as Twilight watched in awe. “W-what are you two doing?!”

“I’ve got way more friends than you!” Starlight shouted at her assailant.

“I wrestled a BEAR today for a friend!” Sunset screamed.

“Well I ran into the most boring pony that’s ever existed!” Starlight countered. “And she’s still my friend now!”

“Well I made friends with a doctor,” Sunset smirked.

“She’s not a doctor, I could see her tail poking out of your bag! That’s Nurse Redheart!”

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!” Twilight cried out, separating the two by magical force and holding them in the air.

The two mares struggled in midair, shaking their hooves wildly towards their rival.

“I’m the better student!” Sunset shouted.

“No, I’m the better student!” Starlight retorted.

“Nopony is the better student! When are you two going to listen and believe me! Both of you are great at making friends! But both of you are also terrible at taking criticism!”

The two mares paused in mid-air, staring down at the Princess.

“But, I made more friends than her!” Sunset called out.

“You knocked out three ponies!” Starlight said.

“Yeah! And you erased the memory of how many?” Sunset replied.

Starlight looked away, scrunching up her face. “S-shut up!”

Twilight frowned intensely at the pair, whirling them around to face her. “What is the matter with you two?! I told you to make friends, not indoctrinate them!”

“You said ‘make the friendship happen’,” Starlight frowned. “That’s what we did.”

“I meant make friends naturally, not by… smacking your hooves into their face!” Twilight shouted, glaring at Sunset, “and stuffing them in bags!”

“S-sorry,” Sunset said.

“Y-yeah, I guess we just let our contest get the best of us,” Starlight added sheepishly. Her eyebrow raised. “Wait, that reminds me. How many friends did you make?”

“Three,” Sunset replied.

“No way, so did I!” Starlight smiled, matching Sunset’s lie with her own. “That means it’s a tie, and we can’t have that!”

Just then, the door to the kitchen slammed open and Spike waltzed in carrying what looked like a septuple-decker sandwich. “Hey, girls, what’s—”

“MINE!” Starlight yelled out, managing to break free of Twilight’s grasp and jump on top of the unsuspecting drake.

“QUIET! DON’T LISTEN TO HER LIES,” Sunset shouted back. “HE’S MINE!”

“NO HE’S NOT, HE’S MINE!” Starlight caught Sunset off-guard with a bite to her foreleg. “LET GO OF HIM!”

“NOT UNTIL I WIN THE CONTEST!”

If there was one thing that Princess Celestia found odd about her visit to Twilight Sparkle, it was that the front door to her castle was wide open. She poked her head in. “Hello?”

“Hi…” Came what sounded like four voices at once.

Celestia trotted inside and quietly closed the door behind her, then her eyes went wide when she saw the carnage that had been unleashed upon the main hall. Starlight, Sunset, Twilight, and Spike were all bruised, battered, and beaten. “W-what in Equestria happened here?!”

“N… nothing,” Sunset blushed.

“Y-yeah. What she said,” Starlight agreed, her head smacking into the floor as she passed out.