Author's Note

Ill be updating this as much as I can. Got the idea behind the rest of this chapter after listening to Holy Diver by the rock band Dio.

I miss Ronny James, RIP.

Their Haunting me in my Dreams

What was it that was keeping that nagging thought in her mind? Everytime she tried to come up with a decent answer, it always escaped her like a bird escaping a bird cage. There was nothing she could do to lessen the impact of the question that was weighing heavily on her mind right now. It felt like her life was a lemon and all she wanted was the down payment back. Twilight racked her brain all night, not even bothering to notice the looks she was receiving from those around her.

She could never stop asking herself why. Why did it hurt so much, this pain she was feeling now. It was like a knife to the heart. She could see it in their eyes on the way to her castle. A castle she still felt over shadowed by. It was something she didn't expect. And one she didn't fully want. As much as it pained her to think about it, aside from the horrible experiments she performed in the basement, that Treehouse had been her home for the longest time. A part of her still missed it, and there was another part that wanted to forget what had taken place and just move on. And that side was getting stronger the longer she stayed in this castle that was now her home.

A quiet foreboding silence was all she could feel in her heart as she walking through the hallways of her castle. Of echoes in the darkness of what had once been a place full of life and yet now was nothing more than a haunting reminder of what had been ripped away. She could see them out of the corners of her eyes, waiting in the shadows for a chance to latch on and drag her soul down to Tartarus where it should have belonged. Instead, she was here and they weren't. The victims of her alleged crimes. The souls of the loved ones that had been torn asunder because of what she had done in the Fallen One's name. She still blamed herself even though the Princess and her friends had forgiven her and absolved her of her crimes. But they couldn't, not until their silent thirst for retribution was fulfilled in some way.

They called out to her in her dreams, or more so in her nightmares. She could feel them sink their jagged teeth into her coat, their rotten and decaying hooves grasped at her, looking for a spot to grab onto so they drag her down into her cursed cell that was waiting. And every time she woke up in a cold sweat. She felt like she was drowning every time she went to bed now. Everywhere she went when she dreamed, she could see them. Twilight decided to keep a journal detailing her nightmares. It was something she hadn't done since she was a small filly living in Canterlot.

Journal #1.

Everywhere I turned, there they were. Everypony I had butchered in his name came to grace me with their presence one last time. I could feel an unabiding emptiness in me. I could hear their screams echo through my mind, leaving behind a haunting melody each time. Always asking me why I did it, why I was the one allowed to be alive while they were all cut down in their prime. And I never can find a sufficient answer for any of their queries.

I couldn't answer any of their questions, how could I, they were dead because of me. There was nothing I could do at the moment that would have brought them any comfort what so ever. I had ended their lives under the misguided idea that I was improving Equestria. Nothing could have been farther from the truth of the matter. I killed them. I killed them and was absolved of my actions because I was being controlled by an outside force. But that didn't make it feel any less real. I should have died. I was ready to die for what I had done to them, especially to my friends Colgate and Lyra. Even though Lyra did survive in a way.

I was completely negligent for leaving that spell book open like that. I don't blame her, though, I guess a part of me did do that on purpose now that I think about it. She and I had been close when we were in school together. I was the one that introduced her to the Lyre after all. It was only natural that I subconsciously left that page open without fully knowing I did until much later.

There were times that she felt like going insane if it meant that she could give them what they wanted most. That was until one of the spirits visiting her finally spoke and told her that the majority of them had decided to forgive her for what she had done to them. That he and the others had come to understand that she wasn't in control of her actions at the time. That it was time for them to move on to the next plane of existence. The one that told her all of this was, of course, Big Mac. He also told her to tell Applejack to let go of her pain and anger she was obviously harboring towards her friend right now. Their parents wouldn't want her to hold it in like she was. Even though it was considered a dream, she told him that they'd think was a crazy pony if she suddenly revealed she was in contact with the ghosts of those that were butchered.

He told her to tell Applejack that Pa was waiting for her when the time came for such that she needed to speak to them again. Twilight had come to the realization that she had a book on spirit summoning and decided to give the book to Applejack when the time presented itself. It was going to be hard but she had to convince AJ that she was still her friend and didn't want to see her in the condition she was in now. Because of what happened not only in the Library, but between her, AJ, and Dash, she felt compelled to correct this in any way she could think of.