Principal Celestia

by Pony on Wheels

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Angel, Equestria Girls, Princess Celestia, Anthro, Main 6, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna
Length: 1078

Princess Celestia has ruled for a thousand years, but can she manage the bureaucracy of a high school for one? My prediction of Equastria Girls, before I knew the plot.

Princess Celestia has ruled for a thousand years, but can she manage the bureaucracy of a high school for one?

My prediction of Equastria Girls, before I knew the plot.

Published 2016-06-18 17:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-18 17:20:01 UTC

Principal Interest, and Capital Gains

Celestia was in her office, looking at stacks of permission forms to approve field trips. A woman with lines too deep for her age came in, accompanied by two young men who wheeled in several more boxes of paperwork.

Celestia looked at the still rising boxes.

"What is all of this for? There's more here than it takes to run an empire. . .” she said breathlessly.

"Principal Celes, I do appreciate your sense of humor." the woman said flatly, before pointing her finger across various reams of paper. "Permission for the team to attend the interstate meet, permission to replace the burnt out light bulbs, permission to fill the soap dispensers. Permission to purchase new allow students to use the library during lunch time. Permission to feed the students lunch. Permission to-"

"Yes," Celestia interrupted.

"I'm sorry?"

"Yes, you have my permission."

"For what, Ms. Celes?"

"For all of it. Tell everyone it's okay."

"As you wish, Principal."

At this, Celestia smiled. She was a good ruler in Equestria, and she didn't keep a kingdom standing for over a thousand years by micro-managing.

"They will be happy to receive your written permission in their boxes by the morning. I will let them know. Be sure to fill them out in triplicate, so that we retain a copy after we send them to the requestee and District. We don't want to have to forgo the sprinklers like what happened last time," she said with a glare.

Celestia was then left alone in her office, her mouth still agape at the scene that played out before her.

A few hours later, she was awoken by a knock at her office door, and scrambled to her attentive and presentable self.

"Come in!" she sang. Unless it's more papers, she thought. There already wasn't enough ventilation.

But it wasn't. It was her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, and all of her friends, all with strangely colored skin for humans. She hoped they weren't being bullied because of it.

"Dear Principal Celestia, we have to talk," Twilight started.

"And do we!" Applejack said. I need permission to leave school and help out on the farm. Book learnin's don't do me no good. ‘Specially since I already graduated once." she trailed off.

"Yeah, I need your 'permission,' to race on the track team. Apparently I'm not qualified enough for them! Can you believe that, ME, not qualified to RACE? I'm Rainbow Dash!" said Rainbow Dash.

"Dashie dear has not been passing her algebra," explained Rarity.

"Math is lame," said Dash, crossing her arms.

"Not as 'lame' as these uniforms. The dress code is simple horrendous. If it wouldn't be too much, I would like you to instate something fashionable. We can't let another day of this disaster continue." continued Rarity.

Pinkie Pie jumped in, bursting to the front through a stack of papers.

"You wanna talk about a disaster, this place is BO-OR-ING! We have to sit in our chairs all day, and the teachers get mad you for talking or eating or singing or throwing a party for the new student or running in the halls even though we only get 5 minutes to get between classes and I just have all of these people to meet in every class but I'm not allowed to talk with them at all!"

Fluttershy took up the silence. "Well, you see, they're keeping little bunny Angel in a cage, and they're also going to dissect all of the cute little froggies I was taking care of." she said sweetly.

Everybody gave her a stare.

"Oh! And I'd like you to stop that, if you don't mind, that is."

Celestia finally spoke.

"And you, my faithful student? I trust you also have a request for me?"

Twilight blushed.

"Twi has a boy that's chasing her and she wants some advice,” offered Applejack.

L-o-v-e- advice," Rainbow Dash teased.

Celestia slammed her face on her desk, nearly impaling her horn into the mahogany surface.

The six of them waited patiently for her response, until nearly a full minute of silence had passed.

"I have come to my conclusion," the ruler said into her deck.

"Aaand?"

Celestia raised her head from the desk with a sly grin.
"And you know what? We're done here." Her horn began to glow brighter than the sun, and soon the bright light enveloped everyone in the room. Within moments, the room disappeared, and they all found themselves soaring across the Milky Way, through the fabric of dimensions, and across the eons where they gradually morphed back into their normal selves. Upon their transformation, they found themselves back in the square on Ponyville, in front of the mirror where the whole thing had began.

"Well that was fun," the sun god said with joyfully. "I don't need a report about this from anyone. In fact, let us never speak of it again."

Twilight started in, but Celestia cut her off.

"Who wants cake?"

"I do!" jumped Pinkie Pie.

And so it was had.

OMAKE!

Between bites of triple strawberry cream cake, Twilight's curiosity finally got the better of her.

"So what will happen to that place now that we're gone? Will they think we were abducted?" she asked.

"Oh, I took care that we wouldn't be missed."

Meanwhile, Luna flew above the remains of the administration building, wearing the charred remains of her janitor's uniform, with little bunny Angel on her shoulder. Much had been destroyed when her sister harnessed the power of the sun to fuel her teleportation spell, but there was still work to be done. No, not work. It would be her pleasure, she thought, as she charged her hands with dark energy, and took a slow, deep breath before letting everything go.

"DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA...!"

........

Celestia held up her plate. "Second please!"

Author's Note

I'm not sure how well I prefer this to what we actually got. At the time, I rather expected them all to be ponies morphed to people, and not Twilight in the alternate reality. All things considered I thought the movie was fine. It didn't need to exist, but it was fine. I have not watched the sequels. They also didn't need to exist, so they may be fine too.

Using a Japanese word for the bonus section provokes many things, but not an apology, though I should apologize for being lazy about it.